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GAAD
2018-02-27, 11:38 PM
Sometimes, players want to rob shopkeepers. Sometimes DMs’ response is to make the shopkeeper a powerful retired adventurer and kick in their faces as punishment.

But I got to thinking... a retired adventurer of that skill wouldn’t be a random shopkeeper in anonymity. He would be the best of the best, swarmed by reputation that he justly lives up to.

Enter GERONIMO von Musclewizard, proprietor of the Arsenal of Awesomeness. The party goes to him when they want magic weapons and have a LOT of coin to spare. Dude is a living legend in martial prowess and crafting artifacts.

Amongst his weaponry are such diverse elements as:

1: The Blade of Blood - a saber forged from the blood of legendary criminals. It remains ever willing to receive more, and is more accurate the more foes it has slain in one battle.

2: Luckreaper - an axe infused with the essence of pure light and shadow. Upon dealing a critical hit, the wielder may reroll the next attack the target makes.

3: The Leyrod - Able to attune to leylines, this lightning-attuned staff can attack or even set the origin of a spell at another visible point on a leyline it is in contact with. (My players bought this one, along with some generic magic items of plus whatever)

Then I thought, Hey! What other items might GERONIMO von Musclewizard forge? And so I leave you folks to continue his masterpieces. What cool unique magic weapons have you used in the past!

Personification
2018-02-27, 11:47 PM
4: Tremorsense Blindfold - this powerful magical blindfold must be attuned to by a monk with no functioning eyes (cannot be used alongside other means of magical seeing except for truesight and blindsight) it grants tremorsense, attack bonuses, and bonus ki, while making you look like a cliché awesome monk.

Kaptin Keen
2018-02-28, 12:58 AM
5 TIDAL: It just casts Death Knell on the wielder on a kill. Against mobs of 1hd, it gets pretty crazy pretty fast. The players deemed it an abomination and tossed it into the deepest ocean they could find =D

Edit: Oh, I should number it? Ok.

icefractal
2018-02-28, 12:58 AM
The Trembling Sword
Not an impressive name, but a weapon extremely feared by those who know of it. It's appearance is a simple iron poker with an elaborately engraved adamantine handle and sheath. The poker constantly vibrates, extremely fast but only by a tiny amount. While the sheath and handle have powerful telekinetic magic to keep the 'blade' under control, the poker itself is not magical - it's just been changed by some event that happened in the nearly-destroyed tower it was found.

Abilities:
* The 'blade' is indestructible and unaffected by any known spell or force. The handle and sheath are just magically reinforced adamantine, tough but not impervious.
* Used as a weapon, the blade's vibrations make it astonishingly deadly when it hits. -4 to hit (it swings clumsily), and no Strength bonus to damage, but it hits with massive impact (at least 10d6 in 3E, maybe 20d6), and the target must make a DC 30 Strength check or be thrown 50' in a random direction, which is unlikely but possible to be into the wielder (reroll that result, once). If it hits an obstacle, both it and the obstacle take 1d6 damage for every 10' of movement prevented.
* Pressed against a structure, the vibration does 1 point of damage (hardness applies) the first round, then doubles every round, until it reaches a level where it's destroying a 5' cube every round. If out of contact for two rounds, start over.
* Jammed into the ground, it causes an earthquake, which starts at a 10' radius and then grows by 10' per round until the blade is removed.

Note: The existence of the last two abilities means that if the sheath is ever lost, it will be difficult to safely store this anywhere.


+1 :roach: if you can tell what this is a reference to.

icefractal
2018-02-28, 01:40 AM
St. Cupid's Bow
This ivory, golden-stringed bow grants the effect of Good Hope (morale bonus to stuff) to the wielder, as long as it's held. However, if the wielder is under any negative emotion effects (fear, rage, etc.), the Good Hope is lost and the bow won't be able to fire either.

This is because it fires arrows made of weaponized love. The arrows appear when the string is fully pulled back, and look like a featherless, simply-shaped arrow made of red, pink, or orange-yellow radiance. Love arrows are entirely a Brilliant Energy effect, meaning they only hit living things and can even be fired through walls if you have some way to aim. The arrows deal 2d6+Con nonlethal damage, and cause no pain at all - in fact, the sensation is very pleasant and the victim receives the effects of Good Hope for a round. To unconscious targets, the arrows deal lethal damage, still with no pain involved.

Opinions are split on whether the bow is a holy relic, or rather creepy.

Personification
2018-02-28, 10:32 PM
The Trembling Sword
Not an impressive name, but a weapon extremely feared by those who know of it. It's appearance is a simple iron poker with an elaborately engraved adamantine handle and sheath. The poker constantly vibrates, extremely fast but only by a tiny amount. While the sheath and handle have powerful telekinetic magic to keep the 'blade' under control, the poker itself is not magical - it's just been changed by some event that happened in the nearly-destroyed tower it was found.

Abilities:
* The 'blade' is indestructible and unaffected by any known spell or force. The handle and sheath are just magically reinforced adamantine, tough but not impervious.
* Used as a weapon, the blade's vibrations make it astonishingly deadly when it hits. -4 to hit (it swings clumsily), and no Strength bonus to damage, but it hits with massive impact (at least 10d6 in 3E, maybe 20d6), and the target must make a DC 30 Strength check or be thrown 50' in a random direction, which is unlikely but possible to be into the wielder (reroll that result, once). If it hits an obstacle, both it and the obstacle take 1d6 damage for every 10' of movement prevented.
* Pressed against a structure, the vibration does 1 point of damage (hardness applies) the first round, then doubles every round, until it reaches a level where it's destroying a 5' cube every round. If out of contact for two rounds, start over.
* Jammed into the ground, it causes an earthquake, which starts at a 10' radius and then grows by 10' per round until the blade is removed.

Note: The existence of the last two abilities means that if the sheath is ever lost, it will be difficult to safely store this anywhere.


+1 :roach: if you can tell what this is a reference to.

Nightblood?

Hugh Mann
2018-02-28, 11:28 PM
9. The Glass Sword- A fragile weapon made of glass which contains a miniature black hole. The first time that the sword hits something it shatters, destabilizing the singularity and releasing the energies held within. It does 5d100 force damage to the hit object. If the attack misses by 5 or more you hit the floor or a wall. If the attack is a critical failure, or if the wielder deliberately destroys the sword, the wielder takes the damage instead. Should the Glass Sword be sundered, it will deal damage to the person that sundered it and the wielder of the sword. In any case the sword is destroyed and no force in the universe can repair it, a new one has to be forged.

Vitruviansquid
2018-03-01, 12:39 AM
Gainshammer - The head of this hammer is shaped like a heavily-muscled arm, and the striking surface is its clenched fist. The Gainshammer is worthless in the hands of the weak, but in the hands of the strong, their power is multiplied.

Nerdsbane - This battleaxe is thrice-enchanted with malevolent runes, and its brazen head seems to glow softly with barely-restrained bloodlust. Upon many foes, Nerdsbane functions as an extremely well-crafted yet mundane battleaxe, but when wielded against those whom GERONIMO von Musclewizard would consider a nerd (in his extremely fickle and subjective way), the malice within this weapon awakens and it deals especially grievous wounds.

Wands of Man to Gold - Three magic wands, bundled together and fitted to a crossbow stock. When the trigger is pulled, the wands are activated in series to achieve the previously unthinkable transmutation of a human being into solid gold. The first wand is charged with the spell, "Transmute Man to Lead" which instantly turns the victim into a statue of lead. In the next moment, the second wand, charged with the spell "Transmute Lead to Cat" activates, turning the statue of lead into its weight in cats. In the fraction of a second before those cats can disperse and wander off, the final wand of "Transmute Cats to Gold" instantly turns the all those cats into gold.

icefractal
2018-03-02, 05:07 PM
Nightblood?Not what I was thinking of, but maybe it has something similar?


Orange Crush
This polished basalt greatclub drips with a thick coating of fluorescent orange slime. It becomes heavier when swung, dealing damage as if it were one size larger.

More importantly, the slime sticks to anything that was hit. It glows (illuminating a 5' radius), and can't be hidden even by invisibility. Orange Crush is drawn toward slime-marked foes and gains +4 to hit them. The bearer knows when a slime-marked foe is adjacent to them, and in which square. Scraping off the slime takes one man-minute.

Doorhandle
2018-03-02, 06:42 PM
Caladbolg, the Biggest, Fanciest Sword: This house-sized, ornate blade is better suited to be wielded by a storm giant than a human, and yet is light enough to be wielded by a halfling. It is covered in fine gold scrollwork, no doubt the focus of a bevy of mass-nullifying enchantments.

It's a gargantuan greatsword and deals damage as appropriate for it's size. However, it is as light as a mithril greatsword, and can be wielded by characters of up to small size without penalty. In addition, it also grants it's wilder reach as appropriate to it's size. Due to it's sheer bulk, each attack hits every opponent within reach.

Good luck fitting it into tight dungeon squares though....though getting across rivers is easy as you can use it as a bridge.

Dimensional Anchor: This anchor is made of glowing green stone, with some cloth round around it to form a makeshift hilt. The original stone it was made from is ancient- Some say the spell was named after it rather than the other way round.

Hits as a large greatclub. In addition, anyone within 30ft, including the welder is completely immune to teleportation and plane-shifting effects. Anyone teleporting cannot teleport out, blink ceases to function, ect. In addition, the anchor can be dropped on an immobilized or otherwise helpless opponent. That opponent cannot move from the square where the anchor was dropped, short of tearing off the pieces trapped under the anchor.