Best gaming moments both glorious and stupid.

[p_johnston]

So anyone who has been GMing for long enough has likely had a a plethora of moments that stick with them as either a shining beacon of hope that your players can overcome any obstacle if they try hard enough or as an abject example of how a highly intelligent talented group of people can screw up a basic task. I would like to hear those stories from the playground if anyone would like to share.

I have two of the second type that come fresh out of last weeks play session. (I will admit I'm putting portraying the characters in a specific manner for comedic effect. Overall my players are not typically foolish or stupid and even when they make bad decision can usually give me a solid reasoning as to why they did it. That being said every part of the stories is one hundred percent true.)

1. The session starts with the group inside an Inn. One of the players has just been suplexed by a shadow fey trickster disguised as a chair (long story). After staring on in perplexed horror the Innkeeper demands that the strange fey man leave the Inn and when ignored tries to eject him forcibly. So after decapitating the innkeeper the fey leaves and the party is split on what to do. One player immediately leaves the inn. One player leisurely leaves the inn while still holding his ale. One player checks the innkeeper to figure out what the hell happened. The rouge decides to steal the innkeepers belt pouch and apron. So a few in game days, and several interrogation later the investigator has gathered the party in a room and explained that they are murder suspects because A) the party has obviously been lying to him since they had different stories when questioned apart B) By their own admission the party were the last ones in the inn when the innkeepers belt pouch was stolen and his safe was robbed (note: the party didn't rob the safe. The fey turned invisible and did it to screw with them). C) They found the innkeepers bloody apron in the possession of one of the party members. At this point they all collectively turn and stare at the rouge. Later the player clarified that he didn't realize the apron was bloody.

2. Later that same session the party is accompanying two dwarven merchants and come upon a bandit ambush. A tree across the road with 5 visible bandits, the leader of whom demands a payment of 100 GP per wagon to pass. 2 of the party spot 10 bandits to the side of the road hidden with crossbows ready. So when the party initiates combat they take a full volley of 14 bolts as a prepared action from the bandits and then another 14 as the bandits go second, nearly killing one merchant and the sorcerer. The party then gives up and pays the 250 GP to pass unmolested. After going down the road a ways the party rests and starts debating whether or not to go back and try and retrieve their gold. The merchants offer to reimburse the party the 200 GP the bandits asked for originally if the party just keeps moving. So naturally the party waits for nighttime and sneaks back to try and ambush the 15 man bandit party (one of whom is a bandit captain). After a fairly successful ambush with the ranger killing two bandits the parties only tank rushes in to the middle of the bandit camp and promptly gets cut down. The remaining 13 bandits proceed to beat down the party rouge and sorcerer leaving the ranger the only one standing. The bandit captain Picks up the unconscious sorcerer and shouts "If you don't come out I'm executing your friend." To which the ranger responds by shooting him twice. The bandit captain then beheads the captive sorcerer.
I was actually trying to get the ranger to give up so I didn't have to kill the party. The bandit captain was just going to strip them off their coin and weapons and let them go.

So what are your best stories from D&D either epic or decidedly not?

[the_brazenburn]

This is from the campaign I'm playing in right now. If you're interested in reading the rest, check out the link here: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?549120-Brazenburn-and-Ivor-s-Atlantis-Debacle&p=22883833#post22883833

I'm playing Lazam, by the way.


After a short period of travel through the castle they enter into the vast throne room where lies a huge shadow dragon on a throne of skulls.
Shathra: Why have you come to my court? Did you come to give me your lives?
Lazam: No mightiest of dragon kind. We have come to bargain for the item we seek
Shathra: And what might that be? And why should I bother and not kill you now?
Lazam: We have come for a stone. A stone that will show us the way to a legendary trident.
Shathra: That is one of my most prized treasures, now answer my question why should I NOT KILL YOU.
Lazam: Well how about we give you some souls? The souls of some lizardfolk young that are immune to all types of damage. We give you a breading pair and you can have an army of damage resistant lizarfolk.
Shathra: Deal you give me the souls of a male and female lizard folk and I will let you live. You have 1 day now go.
Thokk: Well Shathra I think...
Lazam: Stop! I should handle the social encounters. We don't want you yelling at him about orcas. Now shathra we still need the stone.
Shathra: No.
Lazam: I... uh...I will... GET YOU A LAYER OF THE 9 HELLS!!!!!
Shathra: im listening
Lazam: We have Asmodeuses favor. We can get you a Place in the 9 hells
Shathra: I don't believe you now go.
Lazam: fine then, summon a devil and order it to attack me.
Shathra: Fine.
DM: a swirling vortex of fire appears on the floor and out comes a large red devil.
Shathra: kill them
Devil: My master forbids me to harm them.
Shathra: You seem to have his blessing as you say. Here.
DM: he hands you a small bronze tube an a black sphere

...
As you enter the water you hear a roar behind you and Asmodeuses voice in your head.
Asmodeus: Ha ha ha. Very funny little adventurers. A layer of the 9 hells. I hope you don't mind I let the dragon in on the joke.
Shathra: (in their minds) YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT!!
DM: the army of undead is charging you.
Lazam: Uhhh how do we get out of here. we don't have a boat.
Lazam: I throw the bronze thing into the water.
DM: It turns into a Gnomish submarine
Lazam: We leave.

[NecessaryWeevil]

2. Later that same session the party is accompanying two dwarven merchants and come upon a bandit ambush. A tree across the road with 5 visible bandits, the leader of whom demands a payment of 100 GP per wagon to pass. 2 of the party spot 10 bandits to the side of the road hidden with crossbows ready. So when the party initiates combat they take a full volley of 14 bolts as a prepared action from the bandits and then another 14 as the bandits go second, nearly killing one merchant and the sorcerer.

Hmm. I wasn't aware you could ready an action outside of combat.

[Tubben]

It's been around 20 years ago.
We played an german system called DSA - Das schwarze Auge (The black eye). I played some kind of Fighter/Barbarian (i try to use D&D Terms) called a "Thorwaler".

We were hired as skirmisher for a larger battle and had the job to hold a tiny line at one of the flanks. A good bit away was our leader, called "Prince Brin of Gareth" he was the successor of the current king. He and his generals were on a small hill.

At one point our flank got overwhelmed and we had to do an morale check, which i horribly failed (I, an Thorwaler....) i got frightened and runned away in panic. I had to roll how far and to where i run.

I rolled my dice twice and ended right at the hill, where prince Brin was right at that moment under an heavy attack. I said my GM i stay and fight. He had me to roll a few more dices and i ended the battle night at the side of prince Brin, defending the hill and "saved" prince Brin.

The next morning, the rest of my party asked what happened, and why i left our flank. My Thorwaler answered "I rescued prince Brin". And still now, 20 years later, "rescuing prince Brin" is a synonym for fleeing or getting frightened.

[mechanised_orc]

Picture this: A fat dwarven cleric who's drunk far too much, a deep, moderately wide chasm, and a pair of boots that improve jumping ability threefold. A drow on the other side.
What do I do? I jump. A Warhammer is brandished, a dwarf catapults himself towards the drow! And fails the attack roll. The party laughs. A nearby chair laughs. We are confused.

[Quoz]

Cyberpunk game, I'm playing the face. We have to sneak into a very remote facility in the Australian out back that is already on high alert and has evacuated most of their leadership to space. Through some crafty backchannels and an extensive contacts network, I secure false IDs for the party and arrange for a group of NPCs to cut communications at a pre-arranged time.

We stroll in like we own the place, bluff our way to the head of security, and intimidate him into destroying his data servers while giving us the only backups and their fastest shuttle to evacuate them. All on the threat that our group was going to be coming in for a hard strike on the facility. We even convinced them that the assault team would be wearing their own uniforms, so they would be fighting off their own backup forces when they arrived. The plan was solid, the dice were hot, and the GM was so impressed with our sheer testicular fortitide that he passed up the early opportunity to have it blow up in our faces.

...And then there was the time we spent nearly an hour trying to open an unlocked door because it was a push and not a pull.

[Arial Black]

Hmm. I wasn't aware you could ready an action outside of combat.

You're correct: Ready is an Action In Combat, and those only happen in combat time in initiative order. Although, outside of combat, you neither have Actions In Combat, nor do you need them to do stuff, the thing about the Ready action is that the only thing it really does is mess with the normal timing of taking turns within the combat round, and therefore does nothing outside combat rounds.

The correct resolution is to use initiative. However, many, many DMs make this mistake, or the similar mistake of having attacks resolve before initiative, even though the combat chapter says that combat is resolved IN combat rounds in initiative order.

[Miz_Liz]

I have one goofy/ridiculous, and one awesome.

Most of my D&D playing is on roll20, which means we have to deal with occasional technical issues. We were mid battle, and our cleric was calling out to cast spiritual weapon. He wanted to create a war hammer, I believe, but his microphone cut out and he ended up saying "I cast spiritual ham-" It then became cannon from that point onward that his spiritual weapon was a giant spiral ham. It was glorious.

As for cool, in the same campaign we had a shadow monk fighting alongside my half-orc barb. He wanted to hit a creature flying above us so he ran up, vaulted off my kneeling back, and speared the nasty through the air. It was described much better by the DM, but it was really an epic moment.

[sithlordnergal]

Stupid Moment:

I am playing a Valor Bard/Chaos Magic Sorcerer through White Plume Mountain. We have found all of the legendary artifacts hidden in the shrine, and my Bard was the only one who could wield Blackrazor.

Now, for those who don't know, Blackrazor has this ability. "Blackrazor (DMG, p. 216) will give you temp hp = to the max of any creature you kill." I am sitting at 130 temp hp thanks to having killed a vampire when we run into an enormous crab. Being the tanky front line valor bard I am thanks to my tons of Temp HP, I move up to fight the crab!! I cast a Sorcerer spell, I forget which one exactly, and my DM calls for a Wild Magic Surge roll. I roll my d20, and it comes up a 1, making me roll on the Wild Magic table.

I roll a d100 and get a 78, then look at the table...aaand discover that I cast Polymorph on myself. I quickly make my Wisdom save...and roll a 2. I spent the entire fight polymprphed into a Sheep with 130 temp hp that has to be eaten through before I can change back to normal. XD This is also how everyone at my table discovered there are no offical stats for a sheep in 5e. You can't find one in the DMG, PHB, or MM. XD


Glorious:

Same character, a bit earlier in the Shrine. It's actually how I got the Temp HP in the first place. We were fighting a vampire, and my Bard was really the only one standing. The Monk was K.O.ed, the Rogue was doing their best but falling, and I forget what the third member was doing.

I had been keeping the party alive by casting Healing Word, followed by Chill Touch on the vampire to stop it from healing itself. Eventually, things got down to just me and the vampire. The rest of the party had retreated back, and I was facing the Vampire to cover them. The Vampire was hurt pretty badly, had disadvantage on attack rolls against me and couldn't heal due to Chill Touch, and was focused on taking me down. I had used my Tides of Chaos to counter the disadvantage of making a ranged attack in melee range.

Despite the disadvantage, the DM managed to roll high enough to hit me, so I quickly cast Shield and the DM told me to roll on the Wild Magic table. I rolled a 65, and proceeded to deal 4d10 lightning damage to the vampire, killing it.

Surprise Stupid:

After beating the vampire we found it's coffin and tried kill it for good. No-one in the party could hit the incapacitated Vampire with a stake for about 4 rounds, despite there being multiple people with Multi-Attack and us having Advantage.

[Bgharcourt]

The group I DM for once went up against an ancient shadow dragon. They fought hard and the dragon was on its last legs, so it tried to fly away. Our Sun Soul monk flew up to meet him(winged boots)and using his last ki points,went for a stunning strike. The dragon had used up his last legendary resistance the previous round, and I rolled a natural 1 for the save. While stunned, he fell 30 feet to the ground. Though the fall killed him, I allowed the player the honor of SS Vegeta style pummeling him into the ground.

[Caelic]

"So: what you're proposing to me is that we track an INVISIBLE RABBIT who also happens to be a RANGER LORD through HIS own woods AT night DURING a thunderstorm.

And everyone's okay with this plan?"

[p_johnston]

Moment the glorious.

After months the party is ready to complete Curse of Strahd. They March to the vampire lords castle at the head of an army of allies they have recruited from across Barovia and fight their way through the vampire lords hoards into the inner courtyard where they are met by Escher, a vampire spawn whom they had become friendly with. "I have been sent to escort you to the master" the spawn great them while silently mouthing "run away, run away" whenever he is not speaking.
The party meets Strahd in the garden and end up fighting him, his nightmare, his armor, and Rahadin. Halfway through the battle two vampire spawn Strahd created from the last party to try and fight him burst from a the boarded up church windows into the garden and join the fray. (Note: the last party to try and fight him was the same group. They failed the first time.) After a mighty battle the party kills the spawn, the armor, the nightmare, and finally Rahadin and Strahd flees through the ground into the crypts below. The party is trying to decide how to catch him when Escher approaches once again with an offer from his master. "I will meet one of you in a duel to the death. On your word of honor it will be settled in mortal combat and if I win you become my spawn."
In the final combat the paladin fights strahd one on one with the sunblade, manages to crit three times in a row and kill him. At this point the session had gone nearly an hour late so we had to complete it in the bed of one of the players truck using the Cabin light to see so we didn't keep up the people inside the house.

Moment the stupid (I may have told this one before)

My first time as a DM one of my players asked if they could have a special cursed sword as part of their backstory. Thinking this sounded good I went "yeah in fact I'll come up with a bunch of special items and each character can start with one." A berserk sword, a Driftglobe that never turns off and heats up if covered, boots of elvenkind that won't let you retreat from battle, etc. Problem was It was a low level campaign and I wasn't yet proficient in the "don't break the players" skill. So after about half a dozen deaths I had started to run out of ideas for items and was just yanking whatever sounded good from the DM's guide shortly before the session started. A player to be known from here on out as Lucky picked an item for his new character that had the following description.

"This is an Iron flask, typically used to contain beings of immense power. Normally no matter what being is trapped inside the flask holds strong. This one however seems to be leaking power as if it has trouble containing whatever is within."
Upon receiving this item every single player tells Lucky "do not open that." "don't open that." "please for the love of all that is good and holy don't open that."

I didn't know what was in the flask. Going by all rules of common sense I assumed I would have a few session to come up with an idea before the item even had a chance of coming into play. So at the end of the session Lucky takes me aside and asks to talk. We go onto the balcony and he explains how his character goes out of the city into the woods and opens the flask. My mind starts racing going "crap,crap,crap think of something scary." After a couple of seconds I look him straight in the eyes and go "so a Balrog comes out....."

P.S. As to the question about readied actions I do allow their use outside of combat because certain things don't make sense otherwise. Say the PC is facing a man with a crossbow who is 30 feet away. He has the crossbow cocked, aimed at them, and is prepared to fire if they so much as twitch. In a regular initiative, with no readied action out of combat, the PC has probably at least a %50 percent chance of going first and managing to cover thirty feet and attack before a prepared enemy can twitch their finger, which is simply ludicrous.
On a broader scale Initiative is a way to organize the actions PC's are always doing into something that can make sense for combat. In essence their is no action that can only be done inside or outside of initiative. The PC state their actions, and if those actions will lead to combat then I call for initiative rolls in order to keep combat orderly.

[Asmotherion]

1) We ender a Cave complex that was leading to the underdark. Our High Elf Bard reads a Sign that says "Refrain from using Magic" in Undercommon, and determines it was written by Drow. Highly suspicious of Drow, he determines it is bound to be a trap, and we should not follow the advice of the Sign, so he uses Light for the Humans to see. Followed an epic TPK from raiding Skelletons of varrying Races and Shapes, that were activated because we used magic XD

2) Trying to kill the impostor of the King, who was actually a Gish Wizard wearing a Helmed Horror. The Encounter would be all good, except I'm a Warlock who uses Eldritch Blast most of the time. Out of Game, I know I would not affect the thing one bit, but I was unwilling to meta this information. The guys who were in melee and could rely the info to me didn't. We almost had a TPK.

3) A player in a one shot was trolling, and made a Kobolt Fiend Warlock with his Patron being Pazuzu, in referance to Pun-Pun. The Dm actually rolled with it, and gave him a side quest secretly. At the end of the one shot, once we killed the BBEG, he took off with a Cursed Rod that was causing everyone nightmares. We had to deal with him, as an Adult Red Dragon (being level 11 for the one shot) as a secret Boss Fight, and an almost TPK (only 1 PC survived, and possibly the Dragon, as it was unclear if he was killed or banished from the Description)! The Deal with Pazuzu was played off secretly behind the scene!

4) Curse of Strahd with an Evil Party. It makes you re-evaluate your actual perspective in D&D. Have you ever actually made an actual good character? Or were all your characters evil who just happened to do what society expected them to do, so they were labeled "good" or "neutral"? Be the lesser of two Evils who helps fight off the greater Evil, and suddently, you're a "Hero, chosen by destiny", no matter if you're a Gallant Knight, or a Rotten to the Core Necromancer...

5) In Hoard of the Dragon Queen, I was a Bronze Dragon ancestry Sorcerer/Hexblade Warlock for the Last Gameplay. I don't want to give too many Spoilers. For those Fammiliar to the campain, you know the hype. First time, I was almost killed. Seccond time I encountered my Rival, I overpowered him. Spared Him in order to have a Rematch and expect one as the campain goes on. Hint: Now I know the spell Dragon's Breath. Hint No2: The Element I am going to use is part of the Stupidity Part, but I just can't resist! :P !

[Avonar]

There's one that really stands out for me. We were going through a dungeon and we found ourselves in a large glass sphere surrounded by water. As we were looking for what to do, the water on the outside starting draining and the sphere began to fill up slowly. The paladin decides he is going to find out if it is really water.

"I put my face in the water and breathe it."

As a result, the water elemental got an opportunity attack on his lungs and knocked him unconscious. Turns out it might not be a good idea to breathe them.