Ultimate Greed II

[Pwenet]

Wow, that was unsucessful. It might be karma paying me back for causing the same thing to happen to Raiser. Do I win an award for having the most unsuccessful and slightly karmic rebellion ever? (since I had 1 power)

For anyone wondering why I rebelled, the real reason was that I had no chance of getting anywhere. I had 1 power and much less gold because I sided against raiser.

I told KFC about the rebellion in the hope that I would be made duke as a reward. It didn't work though so I took direct measures which were a bit too suicidal. I was hoping for a few people to rebel for the sake of it, causing Pwenet to switch sides and join the rebellion against himself (I reckon he'd have done it).

If I could change one thing I did, I'd have rebelled against raiser blade myself before he suicided.

The Duke Pwenet goes to the grave of Noble Stu42. Sadly it is a rather, poor affair, for the name Stu42 is despised throughout the kingdom for disrupting the peace.

Somehow, through a trick of the wind, a sound can be heard. It goes something like this:

"Wah Wah Wahhhhhhh."

Looking at it, Pwenet shrugs and goes back to more important things, designating new farmland, most notably on the graveyard where Stu42 was buried, for all the corpses there already animated themselves as zombies, grabbed their coffins and headstones and moved away. No need for such good land to go to waste.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Money distribution sent to Cassie, don't have time to send individual messages this time due to assignments. 160 out of 175 gc given out in total. I believe it's only fair considering I gave out 5 more than I got last turn meaning my net gain over 2 turns is only 10gc.))

[Castaras]

(( Money sent out to dukes. Dukes have until 4:00pm GMT tomorrow to give their money to the rabble. ))

[Haruki-kun]

I've distributed my gold to the Nobles, but I haven't sent out the PM's yet. I'm short on time, so I can't sent them out right now. I'll send them out later.

[Pwenet]

The gold to my two Nobles has been sent out.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

All hail noble Duke Pwenet, who is both kind and generous to his subjects!

[Haruki-kun]

Duke Haruki-kun has sent out five messengers to his nobles, hoping for the best this year.

[Castaras]

(( Let the roleplaying begin! 24 hours left for any blackmail, lies, deceit, corruption, or whatever. ))

[Exachix]

Noble Exachix sits, contemplating.

[Pwenet]

Duke Pwenet observes his lands.

[DarkCorax]

Noble DarkCorax temporaraly hands his lands into the care of his Duke while he takes care of some personal matters.

(Going camping over the long weekend)

[Therarde]

The Noble Therarde receives his dukes messenger, takes the gold, gives him some rest, and sends him back.

[Moff Chumley]

Noble Moff Chumley roams the lands of Chumley Vale with his host of Cavy Riders, and is thankful that every last occupant of his land is completely self sustaining. Meanwhile, he silently gives on trying to fix PMs uhhh... payment systems within his land, and hopes Duke Salmon is using the surplus well.

Within several months, when he finaly gets his crystal ball back from fellow noble Exxiach, he scries upon the capitol of The Lands of Salmon. He supposes that a gigantic gold statue of Our Fearless Leader (Salmon) would boost morale of the Ducheries citizens...

[Fleeing Coward]

KFC continues to plot with his ninjas to ensure an unfortunate accident befalls Duke Salmon while sending all his ill gotten gold to an overseas investment account.

[Almighty Salmon]

Duke Almighty Salmon has finished setting his 148 carefully set around his Castle for the ninjas he has heard so many rumours about. He then sends his finest Rogue to travel to King Fleeing Coward's lands and steal all of his gold. :smalltongue:

... Duke Salmon also likes the idea of the Gold Statue.

[Fleeing Coward]

@^ tell your ninjas to rob someone who actually has money, all my gold means 30gc thanks to our narrator's war is bad and so is peace monetary policy:smalltongue:
Anyone want to declare a rebellion? My psychics say running a budget surplus this year will result in slowing down the economy unless some fool rebels :smallbiggrin:
@v You're not going to get a single cent of that 30 gc if you do, I've already decided to spread my money evenly between the 5 lowest powered nobles if any rebellion against me ever succeeds :smallbiggrin:

[Almighty Salmon]

I declare a rebellion against Fleeing Coward!

Nah.. not yet anyway :smallwink: :smalltongue:

@V: Heh heh :smallbiggrin:

[Studoku]

My ghost declares a rebellion against Raiser Blades ghost

Seriously though. I think you should just stop paying people to see if they respond.

EDIT: lol, simultanious silly rebellions.

[Fleeing Coward]

Peace has been bad for the kingdom and your endless propaganda has generated
-50gc. Tell your nobles that they have to pay you this year.

As you see, I will be requiring sizeable donations to keep this place afloat :smallbiggrin:

@v Since when did you begin trusting AMENites? :smallwink:

[Almighty Salmon]

EDIT: @^: I trust AMENites more than i trust you :smalltongue:

Huh? I'm confused..


There's 1 King randomly selected from the player pool. The King gets between 100 and 200 gold each turn (this number is generated randomly) that he has to pay the dukes/duchess' with. The dukes/duchess' in turn pay their nobles

[Castaras]

You trust AMENites Salmon?

You poor deluded fish...:smallamused:

And FC? You didn't get -50GC generated. You got a horses head. :smallwink:

[Haruki-kun]

Too...... confusing.................................. Must not...... rebel......

[Almighty Salmon]

Hey, i got that new gold statue that Noble Moff Chumley suggested built. Right in the middle of Salmonshire. Whaddaya think?

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/8111/statueiu6.png (http://imageshack.us)

Heh heh heh.. Oh god i hope i still get paid.. :smalleek:

[Castaras]

And another year passes.

And nothing much happens.

Odd eh?

In fact, all that happened this year was the creation of a golden statue of Salmon. Which might or might not annoy the good KFC.

So there'll be another 24 hours for KFC to hand out the cash to the squalling rabble of dukes standing by his door.

[I'm da Rogue!]

Hey! last year we got nothing!!!

[HyramGraff]

The Noble HyramGraff is also still waiting for a messenger from his Duke. His pessants are growing restless but they do thank their nobel for his wise savings plan.

[Artemis97]

Lady Artemis pours over last year's books. "This can't be right. We weren't given a single coin!"

((Either Calamity forgot to pay us, or he's dissappeared without telling anyone))

[Pwenet]

"A Duke that is not paying his loyal Nobles! What an OUTRAGE!"

In the event of war, Duke Pwenet starts mobilizing his forces. Plus the mobilization looks pretty and keeps them in top fighting shape.

[Calamity]

Listen, the last time I was paid, I distinctly remember giving the gold out. I believe that this year I have not been paid by KFC yet.

EDIT: Woah wait hold on, that's weird. I don;t ever remember receiving that PM. (Castaras is it ok if I split last years money now? Because I really do not remember getting that pm, even though it's in my inbox.)

[Fleeing Coward]

((This year's money will be distributed out when I get back from work, same amount of money generated so expect a similar amount as last year.))

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

It seems the Almighty Salmon has issues with our our dear king FC. Do I see a rebellion coming?

[Moff Chumley]

Uhhh, I believe that thats just friendly prodding, but I don't know. But please, someone declare rebbelion, the game will be over if someone doesn't. :smalleek:

Also, do I get small mention on the giant gold statue for sugesting it?

[Almighty Salmon]

Indeed, it is just "Friendly prodding". I have no intentions of starting a rebellion against our king. I just really enjoy annoying him. :smalltongue:


Also, do I get small mention on the giant gold statue for sugesting it?

Right. i'll have to get your name engraved on it somewhere.

[Fleeing Coward]

A messenger arrives at the gate of Duke Salmon's castle bearing a message with the royal seal.

To My loyal Duke Salmon,
It has come to attention that your nobles has decided to build a statue in your honour.
Naturally, such statues that do not depict your glorious king are not only an eyesore that ruins the natural beauty of our fair lands but are also a danger to the stability of the nation.
As such it is my duty to inform you of the standard taxes that must be applied to such monstrocities to be paid to the crown immediately:
Land Tax: 2gc
Environmental Protection Tax: 4gc
Statue Tax: 3gc
Anti-Salmon Propaganda Tax: 5gc
National Tax for the Regulation of Golden Objects: 4.6gc
The I Can't Think of a Name Tax: 3gc
Tax on Tax Tax: 20gc
~KFC

((Money distributions sent to Castaras, proposing alternate payment choices that the dukes can choose between. Either a flat amount based on the duchy's power or a more risky option for any gamblers around here.))

[Exachix]

An Emissary from Noble Exachix reaches the king.

"Good sir,

We have received news of new taxation upon duke Salmon, are these such taxes applied to the nobles also?"

[Fleeing Coward]

A messenger arrives in Noble Exachix's land bearing a reply from the king.


To the Noble Exachix,
These taxes are for the Duke to pay. Of course, how he chooses to raise the funds are purely up to him :smallbiggrin:

[Almighty Salmon]

Duke Salmon reads the message in shock and horror.

"What the? Anti-Salmon propaganda tax? The i can't think of a Name tax? TAX ON TAX TAX!? For one measly statue? although it is kinda funny. But it is still an outrage!"

Duke Salmon calls in one of his knaves.

"There's only thing we can do in this situation. Edit the statue.." :smallsigh:

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/4085/allhailqx9.png (http://imageshack.us)

[I'm da Rogue!]

*claps*

Superb!

[Moff Chumley]

I assume that my name is somewhere on the back in one point font that happens to be the same color as the statue... :smallsigh:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

"The king is a fink!"

A very tall, anonymous "peasant" dressed in only mildly dirty lilac robes ducks back into the crowd at the re-unveiling of Salmon's superb statue's statement about the stately sovereign.

[Almighty Salmon]

*claps*

Superb!

Yes.. yes superb. I still prefered the old one though.. :smallsigh: Wait a second.. Is that? An error on my Statue? This is an outrage, get the person who made this so called "Masterpiece" fired at once!

((Oops, Seems i wrote King twice.. :smalltongue:))


I assume that my name is somewhere on the back in one point font that happens to be the same color as the statue...

That is correct, unless i can be bothered to change it.

[Fleeing Coward]

After inspection of the new statue by the Committee for Statues and a subsequent reviews by the Tax Reassessment Board, the Statue Regulations Council and the Environment Protection Agency, a new message arrives at Duke Salmon's castle 5 years later.

To My Loyal Duke Salmon,
Due to the recent changes to the statue, we have decided to scrap most of the previously mentioned taxes (Propaganda Tax is the cornerstone of government fundraising and therefore must stand).
However, due to the recent disappearance of gold in the royal treasury, it is my regretable duty to inform you of the new We Love the King Tax of 36.6gc to be paid with your yearly Propaganda Tax.
~KFC

[nathkry]

Wait a second.. Is that? An error on my Statue? This is an outrage, get the person who made this so called "Masterpiece" fired at once!

((Oops, Seems i wrote King twice.. :smalltongue:))

It would seem that you did. :smalltongue:

[Castaras]

(( All gold should have been sent out to the dukes now. They have 24 hours to decide which payment to take[Which might get extended by 24 hours if needed] ))

[Haruki-kun]

To my nobles: I've PM'd Castaras with the gold distribution, but I'm not sure if I sent out any PM's to all of you. Did you guys get your PM's?

[GoC]

To my nobles: I've PM'd Castaras with the gold distribution, but I'm not sure if I sent out any PM's to all of you. Did you guys get your PM's?

I haven't recieved one yet.

[Pwenet]

I sent out the payment information to my respected Nobles.

[Haruki-kun]

Sorry for the delay, I got mixed-up. The PM's have been set out now.

I'll be honest with my nobles. The amount I received this year cannot be split evenly between six people. I rolled a d6 to decide who got more.

[Castaras]

(( Okaydokey, sorry for delay, you all have just over 24 hours to roleplay yer guts out, or rebel, or whatever. Or just banter. Whatever. ))

[Exachix]

We need a rebellion!

Soon!

[I'm da Rogue!]

Why don't YOU declare one?:smallamused:

[Exachix]

Can I think of some reasons first?

[I'm da Rogue!]

Do you actually HAVE to???

(Doesn't this dialogue remind you of: "Answer a Question with a Question" Thread?)

[Exachix]

Wouldn't you?

((Why do you say that?))

[I'm da Rogue!]

How do u know I don't? But don't you think this peace leads nowhere, as well?

(((Nothing, just stupid thoughts)))

[Exachix]

Maybe So....

[I'm da Rogue!]

Hey! last year we got nothing!!!

The Noble HyramGraff is also still waiting for a messenger from his Duke. His pessants are growing restless but they do thank their nobel for his wise savings plan.

Lady Artemis pours over last year's books. "This can't be right. We weren't given a single coin!"

((Either Calamity forgot to pay us, or he's dissappeared without telling anyone))

"A Duke that is not paying his loyal Nobles! What an OUTRAGE!"

In the event of war, Duke Pwenet starts mobilizing his forces. Plus the mobilization looks pretty and keeps them in top fighting shape.

Last year, our people were starving. For one whole year, the loyal nobles of Duke Calamity, who did nothing in the past but follow our Duke's command and taking HIS side in every rebellion, remained unpaid.

Duke Calamity said he forgot to to pay us, and he sent us all our money the next year. But that gold was now useless. How can you pay for the people you lost, because of poverty? How can you turn your back to them and say you just 'forgot" to pay them for a whole year? The crowd has gotten angry. And Calamity's nobles have gotten angry as well.

For this, I declare a rebellion against Calamity.

[Exachix]

Elsewhere in the Kingdom...

Noble Exachix stands, garbed in state black robes, he looks over the citizens for whom he commanded.

"Neighbors of my land! Friends and fellow landsfolk for Duke Almighty Salmon.

I come bearing news, sad news, the Duke for whom we work for, whom we help, whom we help in our lives! May have betrayed us.

You have seen rebellions in other lands, the lands of the late Traveling Angel, has been passed around, and had more conflict than any other land! Maybe this is a sign, maybe this land cannot live without the violence that has made us who we are these past few years. This peace comes with price though.

This year, we found the Duke whom we live for to be hoarding his money. Now many of you will accuse each other of this, but each and every one of us will use this money for some purpose.

Our Duke does it to stop us.

He keeps gold, trickling some out to us, to keep us from developing, to keep us from going further in the world. Why, this dukedom could be great! It could, if a duke wasn't so greedy. Almighty he may be! But only in his powers of Deceit and the illusions he puts up to prevent us. In truth, only a tax man is lower on the list than he, and that's only because taxes are daylight robbery.

Friends! I wish for your support! Spys! Go home and tell thy Nobles and Dukes what is happening!

For we shall go! And we shall go forth! Not just to Liberate our lands in the name of Righteousness! But to Assist a fellow Noble in need!

I'm da Rogue also has problems with her Duke! We march also to help her! To Liberate her lands! To assist her and her forces! To Remove the Calamity that is the Duke for those lands!

We march to war my friends! May this war be a war of greatness! May we gain heroes! May we lose villains!

With that the crowd cheers! Noble Exachix draws forth a sword and holds it aloft, it's blade enflamed!

For Pony!



Noble Exachix Declares a Rebellion Against Almighty Salmon!

Noble Exachix Assists I'm Da Rogue In her Rebellion against Calamity

[I'm da Rogue!]

Da Rogue supports Exachix in his fair rebellion, sending him her ninjas.

We fight so no more dukes take advantage of us and our kindness. We rebel because they should be afraid of us, and treat us as they should, and not betray our loyalty like that.

[Calamity]

And to you think you advised me about "loyalty." I have made a grave mistake in trusting you. Oh. it was a clever plan, telling me to reward my 'loyalest' nobles the most 2 years before your rebellion, to ensure that some extra gold could go to you before stepping into phase 2. I want to apologise dearly to nathkry, who would have still been receiving more gold had I'm Da Rogue!'s advice had not caused me to rethink my payments. I have made sure that you have received your due payment for last year AND this year. If only I knew that you were such a treacherous noble before nathkry suffered for it.

(Geez, I make one tiny mistake, which has since been CORRECTED, and now this?)

[I'm da Rogue!]

And to you think you advised me about "loyalty." I have made a grave mistake in trusting you. Oh. it was a clever plan, telling me to reward my 'loyalest' nobles the most 2 years before your rebellion, to ensure that some extra gold could go to you before stepping into phase 2. I want to apologise dearly to nathkry, who would have still been receiving more gold had I'm Da Rogue!'s advice had not caused me to rethink my payments. I have made sure that you have received your due payment for last year AND this year. If only I knew that you were such a treacherous noble before nathkry suffered for it.

(Geez, I make one tiny mistake, which has since been CORRECTED, and now this?)

Yes, I was loyal to you. And yes, I expected my Duke to pay me for remaining loyal to him, no matter what. But not paying us for a whole year!
That was something I didn't expect from you. After all that we have done for you, Calamity, that is the way you thank us?
How you pay your nobles is another thing. If you think you should've done something different, don't blame me for that.
I'm not the one who kept all the gold for myself, til I was revealed and then hurried to spare it so noone rebels.:smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

(( Two rebellions = Extension of this day. You now have until 5:00pm GMT on Wednesday to do stuff. ))

[Calamity]

Yes, I was loyal to you. And yes, I expected my Duke to pay me for remaining loyal to him, no matter what. But not paying us for a whole year!
That was something I didn't expect from you. After all that we have done for you, Calamity, that is the way you thank us?
How you pay your nobles is another thing. If you think you should've done something different, don't blame me for that.
I'm not the one who kept all the gold for myself, til I was revealed and then hurried to spare it so noone rebels.:smallannoyed:

Listen, I am being honest with you, I do not ever remember getting that PM, I had no reason to lie to you then, because I trusted you, if I did see it then I promise you I would've paid you. Why is it that some people make a human error, it goes unnoticed or forgiven, but yet when other people make the same human error, others want their head on a pitchfork?

[Exachix]

((Woa Calamity... it's just a Commercial Game.))

[Calamity]

((I am sorry if that seemed aggresive, it was not intended. I did not write it in an aggresive tone (if it is even possible to write in a tone)))

Naturally I am Against the Rebellion against me.

I'll need to wait for Salmon's side of the story, but for now I am Neutral to the Rebellion against Salmon

[Exachix]

((It is =D.

Apology Accepted =D.

Now let's carry on having Rebellious fun.))

[I'm da Rogue!]

Why is it that some people make a human error, it goes unnoticed or forgiven, but yet when other people make the same human error, others want their head on a pitchfork?

Well, human errors are still errors. But when someone's "error" keeps 5 nobles and their people unpaid for a whole year, you will agree that nothing can hold the people's rage. My people are shouting for justice, Calamity, and the least I can do for them is march against you.

[Calamity]

Well, if that is your decision, fine. One of us will regret it later. I also had to manage without my gold that year, as I did not discover it until the next year. (Covered in dust and cobwebs! Do you know how long it took to get that gold shiny and new again? Well, you're a rogue, so I guess you value your gold more than most, so you're probably be aware of that). I have tried my best to be fair to you, when that failed I tried to be reasonable. I guess one of us will not live much longer.

[I'm da Rogue!]

See you in the battlefield, Calamity. If I don't live after that, I hope it will be a lesson for you and next dukes. You should pay more attention to your nobles, and never underestimate them.

[Almighty Salmon]

Duke Almighty Salmon stands before the crowd.

"People, People! Lend me your ears! I come forth to deny these outrageous claims from Noble Exachix!

I for one have no idea where in the nine hells this Noble has gotten these completely false allegations. I have always, year after year, shared out my gold fairly between my nobles, yet noble Exachix has decided to betray me and start a rebellion against me!

And even further i do it.. to stop you from developing? I am deeply hurt by the statement. All i have ever done since being appointed Duke by our grand king is do what is best for my lands. Heck, I even made a gold statue by demand of one of my nobles! a damn good looking statue at that..

It is obvious Noble Exachix is the only villain here! He just wants to overthrow me for power, greed and money! But not in my land i say, you will not do this to my nobles, my peasents and my honour. So come forth people of this kingdom and help us fight to rid the evil that is Exachix!


Duke Almighty Salmon draws his Sword and climbs onto his white Stallion.

"For Salmonshire!"

Duke Salmon is against the rebellion!

EDIT: the one against him that is..

And i am neutral in Calamity's war for now.

[Exachix]

Duke Salmon is against the rebellion!

((I never would have known...

Which one?))

[Almighty Salmon]

((I never would have known...

Which one?))

((Oops, editted :smallredface:))

[Artemis97]

The time of change is upon us. Progress must be made. Down with the estabishment. Vive le revolution!

Lady Artemis supports Both Rebellions.

[Haruki-kun]

Intelligence reports arrive at Duke Haruki-kun's manor. He listens to both situations carefully and asks questionsas e tries to make up his mind.

We can't stay quiet for much longer, he says, but we must remember that these two rebellions are very different cases from each other, and should be treated independently. For now, my loyal servant, sent the following messaes to the respective dukes......

Duke Haruki-kun supports Duke Almighty Salmon against his rebellion, however, he Remains neutral in the rebellion against Calamity, as he has not yet made up his mind.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Duke Calamity seems to being unfairly treated to me. With so much pressure on his shoulders, mistakes can easily be made. How do you know he never send a messenger that didn't get detained, or killed in the process of distributing the gold.

Against the rebellion against Calamity
Neutral on the rebellion against Salmon

[Therarde]

With the news of war on the horizon, Noble Therarde sits, thinking. He decides to Support the Rebellion against Calamity, while Staying neutral to the Salmon's Plight.

[nathkry]

And to you think you advised me about "loyalty." I have made a grave mistake in trusting you. Oh. it was a clever plan, telling me to reward my 'loyalest' nobles the most 2 years before your rebellion, to ensure that some extra gold could go to you before stepping into phase 2. I want to apologise dearly to nathkry, who would have still been receiving more gold had I'm Da Rogue!'s advice had not caused me to rethink my payments. I have made sure that you have received your due payment for last year AND this year. If only I knew that you were such a treacherous noble before nathkry suffered for it.

(Geez, I make one tiny mistake, which has since been CORRECTED, and now this?)

Ironically enough, I was also scheming a rebellion of my own, so the gold restriction was going to be necessary anyway. I accept your apology.


The time of change is upon us. Progress must be made. Down with the estabishment. Vive le revolution!

Lady Artemis supports Both Rebellions.

Progress is progress, and goes on despite events around it. I have no real hard feelings against either of you but support both rebellions, for change's sake if nothing else.

[Moff Chumley]

Duke Almighty Salmon stands before the crowd.

"People, People! Lend me your ears! I come forth to deny these outrageous claims from Noble Exachix!

I for one have no idea where in the nine hells this Noble has gotten these completely false allegations. I have always, year after year, shared out my gold fairly between my nobles, yet noble Exachix has decided to betray me and start a rebellion against me!

And even further i do it.. to stop you from developing? I am deeply hurt by the statement. All i have ever done since being appointed Duke by our grand king is do what is best for my lands. Heck, I even made a gold statue by demand of one of my nobles! a damn good looking statue at that..

It is obvious Noble Exachix is the only villain here! He just wants to overthrow me for power, greed and money! But not in my land i say, you will not do this to my nobles, my peasents and my honour. So come forth people of this kingdom and help us fight to rid the evil that is Exachix!


Duke Almighty Salmon draws his Sword and climbs onto his white Stallion.

"For Salmonshire!"

Duke Salmon is against the rebellion!


At my demand? I know I have a horrible grasp of grammar, but what I thought I said was

Within several months, when he finaly gets his crystal ball back from fellow noble Exxiach, he scries upon the capitol of The Lands of Salmon. He supposes that a gigantic gold statue of Our Fearless Leader (Salmon) would boost morale of the Ducheries citizens...

Meaning that you had already built it... But whatever. It's just a nitpick at this point.



The news was brought to Chumley Mannor: The decietful Noble Exxiach(remember: kept my crystal ball for several more months than was allowed. :smallfurious:) has declared war against our generous duke. Not that I know he's generous, as I have no idea how much gold I have. It prolly funded the statue. But thats not the point.)

Captian Peallon: Is my flagship ready for combat?
The Chimera is fully under your command, admiral.

I am for the Calamity Affair, and against the Salmon Wars.

[Almighty Salmon]

((Heh, sorry Moff. I didn't mean "demand" exactly. :smallredface:

And just so you know, i have been sending you gold long after you stopped recieveing PM's.))

[detrevnisisiht]

For my Duke Almighty I shall fight

As for the other war I cannot know who to trust so i shall Stay out of the fight

[Fleeing Coward]

Great, 2 rebellions at once. Why does everyone want to fight so much? I was beginning to enjoy the peace and quiet of embezelling money without anyone to question me :smallwink:

The crown remains neutral in the rebellion against Duke Calamity until he hears from more of his nobles.
The crown remains neutral in the rebellion against Duke Salmon until the Duke starts paying his taxes :smallbiggrin:

[heretic]

Lord heretic reads the note his messenger passes to him. "My lord the duke goes to battle! He shall not fight alone. Muster the legions. We will close the colosseums down temporarily while the warriors march to the distant lands."

heretic supports Salmon against the rebellion and remains neutral to the Calamity affair.

[Traveling_Angel]

Aww, man, I miss the good stuff? Oh well.

[Haruki-kun]

Intelligence reports arrive at Haruki-kun's manor once again. As he reads the written reports and listens to his faithful informer, Shizuka Kage, he comes to a decision.

Send word out to Da Rogue. We shall assist her in her rebellion against Duke Calamity.

My Duke, asks the infomer, what about Duke Almighty Salmon?

My position in that affair has not changed. I am still siding with Duke Almighty Salmon aginst the rebellion.

[Pwenet]

After careful considering, Duke Pwenet does the following:
Joins in the Rebellion against Duke Calamity.
Opposes the Rebellion against Duke Almighty Salmon.

In addition, the servant that does the updated tallys of votes has taken a paid vacation.

[PirateMonk]

Brother Bluebeard stops in a village in his travels, and makes an announcement to the gathered peasants. "I would just like to inform everyone that the inhabitants of the Sea of Monasteries are, in fact, alive and well, and neutral to both rebellions. Thank you for your time." And with that, the Pirate-Monk moves on.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fullbladder can be seen by the callous observer lumbering along a parkside road, rumbling in his metallic voice to a peasant/guard/advisor/sidekick on late September days with a plaid mitten over his hand and a large sock covering the his gun/arm. He speaks of rebellions, plastics, and royal investigations. The sidekick, for his part, is of great help, and as the days crawl inexorably towards Judgment Day the noble at last comes to the bargaining table with his decisions.

As such, few are probably surprised when he supports the rebellion against his own benefactor, Calamity The Fink, while simultaeniously supporting the Salmon in his plight.

[Psionic Dog]

WEEKLY BARK
Delivering Headline news to your doorstep


KING PASSES NEW TAXES
— Following the completion of the monument erected by the celebrated Almighty Salmon, his majesty KFC released his latest taxation plans upon the kingdom. Not only was the traditional gold usage tax continued, but the King stamped a Propaganda tax on the statue and other luxury goods kingdom wide. Even when the monument was edited at great personal expense to comply with RPGs (Royal Pronouncement Guidelines), the king not only revoked the tax except status of Cowardly Dedications, but applied the new anti-antiproductive behavioral "We love the king" tax to the monument as well. It is too early to say what effect this will have on national moral, but the grape vine gossip chain suggests that celebrations will continue as "We love our Duke" parties.

JEALOUS NOBLES REVOLT AGAINST SALMON
— Mad with delusions of power and gold, the Rabid Exachix openly declared treason against the celebrated Almighty Salmon. No one is quite sure what the raging fox craves, be it the Salmon's golden monument or his own sushi flesh, but the inhabitants of KFC's kingdom are appalled at his senseless violence. The excellent Salmon has had a remarkable history of loyalty the King and the King's land, going as far as to help other provinces recover from various calamities and disasters, while encouraging his nobles to do the same. "Behold, I have upheld the King's law and done all I could to assist the oppressed in the land, now come to me in my hour of need I plead!" The beloved Salmon is reported to have told a group of dignitaries representing neighboring provinces. Already commoners across the kingdom are joining what is becoming called "The Great Fish March" and are pleading for the Just KFC for assistance in suppressing the mad foaming noble.


ZELOTS REBEL AGAINS DISASTROUS CALAMITY
—Inspired by the king's propaganda tax, the destructive Calamity has decided to personally experiment with totalitarian rule and leave a scar across his lands that will outlive the memory of even marvelous King Coward. For years the nobles of his land have struggled to protect the people from Calamity's catastrophic conscription practices and unjust acquisition policies. However, the wronged nobles under the banner of The Rogue are unwilling to sit by as the latest heartless duke sit to continue polishing gold neglect his province drives the once productive lands deep into poverty. As I'm da Rogue's spokesman said "The name says it all. His reign is a calamity. We will not cower as his dark tyranny grows, but fight for our life and peace and for the sake of our children's innocence. We owe it to our land and our descendants to stop his ruthless pastfranian heartless destruction."

GHOSTS SIGHTINGS CONTINUE
— For a few weeks after the mad Raser_B1ade fell, the kingdom felt the departed would finnaly leave them in peace, but not so. Witnesses report that on the far side of the vail Raser and Angel have made their peace with each other, and are scheming together to drive others insane. While for the most part these ghostly aberrations have let the living live in peace, the have been reported to reinact the golorious days of their last mortal battles. There are a few who believe they still meddle in material affares and suggest that these ghosts have been responsible for the king's latest questionable taxation policies, and others go as far as to list them haunting Exachix too. That said, the experts conclude that his madness is an unfortunate case of rabies and they hope that that duke will be put down quickly and quietly.


Is your life story worth telling? For a small fee you too can have our corruptible reporters write a special propaganda statement just for you!

Did we mis-quote an event? For a few gold to cover print now get a revised accurate addition printed.

-------------------------------------------

"Ah, my personal paper, hot of the press! What is new today?

WHAT? Exachix is mad? I Side With Almighty Salmon and Oppose the Rebellion It's a shame, but we can not let this nonsense continue.

What else... new taxes... *sigh* more rules to read...

Ah, The Rogue is revolting against that oppressive calamity. Well, I Support the Rogues Rebellion against Calamity. Having lived under a cold ruthless duke I can only sympathize...

More ghosts, hmm. Well, I can't do much about that.

[Calamity]

Ruthless? This newspaper is a lie! I made a mistake, it's hardly fair to call me ruthless.

I'm Da Rogue! It seems that my days are near an end. But I can only hope that you don't make one single mistake, before your nobles become blinded by greed, seeing it as a chance to make more gold.

As for Salmon, he has done even less wrong than I have. I am Against the Rebellion against Salmon

[Jontom Xire]

Noble Jontom Xire mobilises his forces (a couple of peasants with pitchforks) and heads off to support the rebellion against Duke Calamity. With no other troops to spare, he remains neutral in the Sushi rebellion.

[Fleeing Coward]

KFC pardons all criminals currently awaiting trial and send them out to support I'm da rogue in the rebellion against Calamity.
KFC continues to remain neutral in the Fox and Salmon battle due to Duke Salmon's past record despite some disturbing reports on payment distributions within the duchy.

[GoC]

I shall support both rebellions if Castaras' next post is an odd number and shall go against both it it's even.

[DarkCorax]

I'm going to Support the rebellion against Calamity, like my duke, but I am also supporting the rebellion against Almighty Salmon, due to previous obligations to Exachix during the overthow of my own tyrannical Duke.

[Calamity]

Duke, it's over, the Noble I'm Da Rogue is marching here, along with several armies, including the king's!

Wh-- what? The King? Even though he too was once late with his gold?

I think it was for a geniune reason, Duke.

So you're saying that I did this on purpose? Why don't you just join I'm Da Rogue's side now?

I apologise Duke, I did not mean that. But there's even more bad news. Only one other army has arrived to defend the castle.

NO! I wish this was "Dynasty Warriors," so we could win the battle with just one army.

I beg your pardon, Duke?

Oh..ummm, nothing.

*The door flies open*

Duke! I bring urgent news! We have found your original loofa!

Burn it.

Wha-- what!?

You heard me, burn it. If I am going to go, then so is my loofa! She can take my life, she can take my castle and she can take my gold, but I'll never let her take my loofa!!!

[Almighty Salmon]

Duke Salmon supports Calamity in his war!

((Oh man, Dynasty Warriors. I had so much fun with that game!))

[HyramGraff]

The forces of HyramGraff will stand with those his noble Calamity. (I'm against the rebellion.) While my Duke was late with his payment last year, that payment was delivered. I did consider rebelling against him while waiting for last year's payment, but now that that payment and this year's payment have both come, there is no reason to fight against him.

I am also against the Salmon rebellion, but I do not feel the need to explain myself in this matter.

[Flying Elephant]

Being paid by Exachix, I am for the rebellion versus Allmighty Salmon.

[I'm da Rogue!]

You heard me, burn it. If I am going to go, then so is my loofa! She can take my life, she can take my castle and she can take my gold, but I'll never let her take my loofa!!!

A stealthy ninja walks in da Rogue's chambers.

Did you find it?

Yes, milady. I just had to sneak into his bathroom... Easy job, for someone trained in your Thieve's Guild..

Very well, nameless npc. You will be rewarded. Go get some rest, we got a war tomorrow.

Da Rogue gets pen n' paper, and writes a letter to Calamity.

A messenger is sent, and gives Calamity the message:

Dear Calamity,

As you can see, I could've taken you loofa if I wanted it. I thought of keeping it as a hostage, BUT I COULDN'T DO IT, CALAMITY! I JUST COULDN'T!!

It's so cute...:smalleek:

I don't want your castle either. It's too luxurious for me.

With this letter, I enclose something that may interest you...:smallamused:

http://superhotdustball.com/images/blog/apr23/loofa.jpg

(I hope you meant that by loofa. I'm not english and loofa is just a funny word to me)

[heretic]

"I am for the rebellion against Calamity."

[Haruki-kun]

With this letter, I enclose something that may interest you...:smallamused: [/FONT][/I]

http://superhotdustball.com/images/blog/apr23/loofa.jpg

(I hope you meant that by loofa. I'm not english and loofa is just a funny word to me)

You're keeping the loofa? That's just mean!

[Moff Chumley]

((Heh, sorry Moff. I didn't mean "demand" exactly. :smallredface:

And just so you know, i have been sending you gold long after you stopped recieveing PM's.))
Thanks, Salmon, Thats really nice. :smallsmile:
Neither me nor my self sustaining populace (conviniently) need the cash. Maybe you can get Psionic Dog to write a propaganda article about the dutchery with it... Take as much money of mine as you need. :smallwink:

[I'm da Rogue!]

You're keeping the loofa? That's just mean!

I sent it back, with the letter.

It was just too pink and cute to be kept as prisoner.:smalleek:

[Haruki-kun]

I sent it back, with the letter.

It was just too pink and cute to be kept as prisoner.:smalleek:

Thank goodness.

[Castaras]

Stuff happens.

I'm Da Rogue goes off with a massive army and kills Calamity.

More stuff happens.

Exachix goes off with his tiny army to attack Salmon, and Exachix is defeated.

Stuff finishes.

(( Calamity is gone, and I'm Da Rogue is now the duchess. Almighty Salmon needs to decide who to kill who was on Exachix's side in the rebellion(Or Exachix himself, if the fish wishes) ))

[Jontom Xire]

Are you ok, Castaras? Or just busy?

[Castaras]

Homework and school have gone out and mugged me. School bus was also really late, meaning I had less time to write up something for this. My apologies for not being able to do a proper narrative or anything, but things are getting kinda complicated in real life at the moment.

[HyramGraff]

Game Rules:
(snip)
If a noble's rebellion is successful, the duke/duchess is eliminated from the game and the instigating noble becomes the new duke/duchess.
(snip)

Doesn't I'm Da Rouge become a Dutchess automatically?

[Castaras]

Oops. Sorry. :smallredface:

*goes to edit last post*

[HyramGraff]

To make Almighty Salmon's life easier I'm making a list of all of those that supported the rebellion against him. (Please let me know if I made a mistake since this is the list of people that he can kill.)

Noble Exachix
Dutchess I'm da Rogue!
Noble Artemis97
Noble nathkry
Noble DarkCorax
Noble Flying Elephant

If Almighty Salmon choses to kill the new Dutchess, then he will also need to chose a replacement.

[Almighty Salmon]

Thanks HyramGraff :smallsmile:

Purely because he started the rebellion against me, I choose to kill Exachix.

[Castaras]

Okaydokey, Exachix dies. I'll send out the necessary pms in a few.

Edit: PMs sent out. New year begins.

[I'm da Rogue!]

To make Almighty Salmon's life easier I'm making a list of all of those that supported the rebellion against him. (Please let me know if I made a mistake since this is the list of people that he can kill.)

Noble Exachix
Dutchess I'm da Rogue!
Noble Artemis97
Noble nathkry
Noble DarkCorax
Noble Flying Elephant

If Almighty Salmon choses to kill the new Dutchess, then he will also need to chose a replacement.

You'd like to see us killed, wouldn't you?


Especially me.. tsk tsk..:smallamused:

[HyramGraff]

You'd like to see us killed, wouldn't you?


Especially me.. tsk tsk..:smallamused:

Not really, I just want gold. However, I'm not in a great position to get any.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Would be nice to know what da rogue's new power ratring is.
It's been a bad year for the kingdom against due to the 2 rebellions, 105 gc generated, will be split evenly to the dukes at a rate of 5gc per person in the duchy. That'll mean 10gc left. 6 of those 10gc will go into a lottery (pick number between 1-10). This is the fairest distribution I can think of with the added benefit of seeing who's still following this game so that gold distributions for the following years can be better determined based on activity as well as power ratings.))
http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/9021/greed2hi6.jpg
Gold Distribution for this year:
Almighty Salmon 25 gc
I'm da Rogue 25gc
Haruki-Kun 30gc
Psionic Dog 25gc
Pwenet 15gc

[HyramGraff]

I'll take 7.

[heretic]

I'll take six, unless this is a Duke/Duchess thing only.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Anyone can pick a number, I figure that a lottery would be the fairest way to give everyone a chance at the leftover amount and 6gc can be divided evenly for up to 3 people if more than one person picks the number rolled at the end of the day.))

[Almighty Salmon]

I'll take 2 please.

[I'm da Rogue!]

6 for me:smallsmile:

Aww, 8 then

[Moff Chumley]

3 for me.

Woot. PMs are up. Salmon, could you inform me on my finances, please?

[detrevnisisiht]

( (9) )

[Almighty Salmon]

3 for me.

Woot. PMs are up. Salmon, could you inform me on my finances, please?

Hmm, i can't remember how much i've given you in total. (I've deleted my pms >_>) You should probably ask Castaras?

I'll send your gold for this round shortly.

EDIT: Nope, it says you're still not recieveing PMs.

[Moff Chumley]

Oh. I'll look at that. :smallconfused: :smallannoyed:

[Pwenet]

I pick #1.

[Psionic Dog]

Ok, I'll take 4.


If Castaras is short on time, I'll try posting a Weekly Bark tomorrow to say exactly what "Stuff" happened.

Salmon, Rogue, as the victors historically write the history books feel free to PM me any details of your conquest that you feel are important.

Calamity, Exachix, PM me if either of you want an obituary. I'll include an edited version that supports whatever the victors want to believe happened.

Like always, open forum RPing may be incorporated as I see fit to fill up space.

If anyone else knows of any gallant heroic acts or unbelievable scandals by themselves or others that is newsworthy, the Barks reporters will be happy to investigate for the low peace time rate of 1gp to cover transportation, lodging, and tolls.

In the event there is no news the lazy dependable Bark editors will use their flawed trusty Celebrity Scandal&Flattery Dartboard™ divinations to fill the front page.


Like always, the news reported is in no way perfect and is always open to correction and revision. Provided a small golden sum lubricates the process.
Again, the paper does not necessarily reflect the view of the editors or their duke.

[wadledo]

Yay
5
And no haiku now,
I am really quite tried,
and life's annoying

[Haruki-kun]

Uhm.......... 10, I guess.......

[GoC]

I'LL TAKE 1.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Fifty.... Six.... Ish?

[Artemis97]

A number between 1 and 10? How about Pi? 3.1415926....yeah just kidding give me 3 I guess.

[Haruki-kun]

A number between 1 and 10? How about Pi? 3.1415926....yeah just kidding give me 3 I guess.

I was about to say that!!!!! Hahahaha, we DO think alike!

[I'm da Rogue!]

A number between 1 and 10? How about Pi? 3.1415926....yeah just kidding give me 3 I guess.

I think it's taken.:smallconfused:

[Artemis97]

Then give me Pi because we've run out of numbers.

[Almighty Salmon]

Then give me Pi because we've run out of numbers.

That shouldn't be a problem. Considering Cassie is a Pieomancer. :smallwink:

[Therarde]

I'll take...7?

[Fleeing Coward]

((19 people left, so there's bound to be repeat numbers which is why I'm offering 6 gc for the lottery instead of 5 - easier to split)

[DarkCorax]

I'll choose... 4 then...

[Flying Elephant]

I'm 5 in the lottery.

[Psionic Dog]

WEEKLY BARK
Delivering Headline news to your doorstep


FISH MARCHERS SAVE FISH
— On the battle field the armies of the formerly Exalted Exachix and the Almighty Salmon clashed in valiant combat. While Salmon and his allies were more numerous, the small but well equipped force of the fox and his allies fought with a bisserk ferocity in defiance of the Sushi Duke. For a long hour the world held it's breath as the foxes forces not only held their ground but nearly overpowered the fishes personal guard. However, the mad and reckless fox was not the only one to have devout troops. As the war cries sounded, thousands of commoner volunteers from across the kingdom arrived in a massive caravan that has been called the Great Fish March. By shear numbers these brave souls who came to repay the Almighty Salmon the awesome kindness he had showered on the people of every dukedom trampled the fox and routed his allies. Even though Exachix is now little more than roadkill, the people continue to come bringing a share of their own wealth to repair war time damage.

CALAMITY BEFALLS CALAMITY
—As the armies of the fox and the fish clashed heroically with desperate valor, the famed Rogue led her own revolt against the ruthless and ambitious Duke Calamity. Reputably responsible for plunging the dukedom into a dark age and erecting monuments of destruction, the Dark Duke was only able to find two allies willing to associate with him after his greedy negligence and cruelty were exposed. The rest of the kingdom applauded the brave and charismatic leader of the righteous revolt. As it was, the resulting squeamish between I'm da Rogue's loyal army and the rabble of Calamity's allies can scarcely be called a fight. As the troops of justice stormed the palace, Calamity immolated himself with his loffa atop a massive bond fire in the courtyard. His final words were "You shall never take me or my loofa! Bwahahahahahaagghhhhhhhh!"

LOTTERY COMES TO GWYNEDD: MOTIVE QUESTIONED
— Having grown tired of watching dukes and nobles assault each other, the Minister of Royal Entertainment has devised a new fiendish system of bureaucratic paperwork and flaming hops for the kingdoms lesser administrators to jump through for the privilege of gambling for a small golden fortune. According to the Janitor of KFC's Entertainment Regiment, the Minister of Royal Entertainment told the King:
— "This is win/win! It not only costs less than instigating a rebellion, but it gives the rabble false hope! Just think, a few coins will turn the dignified high court of treacherous dreamers into a fat, happy, self-humiliating mob! This is the perfect way to get your chukles!"
— Expert analyzers were able to use the legendary CSFD process to confirm the JoKER's MORE report, but were unwilling to comment on the ramifications of this news.


Is your life story worth telling? For a small fee you too can have our corruptible reporters write a special propaganda statement just for you!

Did we mis-quote an event? For a few gold to cover print now get a revised accurate addition printed.

[Neodan282]

I also get a 4 then, if my great and kind duke gets Moolah then so will I. It might make up for the day when I got 1 less gold due to Hardships in the kingdom for a year.

[Castaras]

(( Okay, dukes and kings have given money out. Due to me most likely not being on the 'net at all tomorrow, you all have 48 hours to run around madly and do stuff. ))

[Calamity]

((Calamity's ghost haunts the editor of the Weekly Bark, for misquoting events and saying that 3 = 4)) :smalltongue:

[I'm da Rogue!]

*Brings her cleric and tells him to cast Turn Undead in Psionic Dog's office*

[nathkry]

I'll take 9, if the lotto is still open.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Guess there won't be anymore last minute entries into this lottery now.))

Welcome dukes, duchesses, nobles and other scum to the first annual Gwynedd lottery draw, brought to you by the Ministry for Royal Entertainment and the Gwynedd Thieves Guild.
Here to monitor the proceedings are Ministry officials, Dr. D. Draw and Mr. I.S. Rigged.
If you would look to your left you will see our new state of the art Number Drawing Thingy with which our officials will now use determine the winning number for this draw:
http://www.folk-art-center.com/images/content/straw_made_1.jpg
The winning number for tonight's draw is ... 11. Thank you for attending, the ministry wishes you the best of luck next time and a safe journey back to your plundered castles. :smallbiggrin:

Winning number for the draw is 6 (http://invisiblecastle.com/find.py?id=1291090). Congratulations to Heretic and Lord Fullbladder who shall both receive 3 gc

[I'm da Rogue!]

Will Save DC 30 to not sneak-attack him:smallannoyed: ...

Roll your dice, everybody!

[heretic]

Cheers. I always wanted to win the lotto. Hahaha! All mine!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

What's your 3 gc Lotto KFC happy dance?
*parodies the Lotto 649 commerical*

[GoC]

Will Save DC 30 to not sneak-attack him:smallannoyed: ...

Roll your dice, everybody!

I rolled a 1.:smallfrown:

[Traveling_Angel]

TA's ghost appears again...
A lotto is always rigged. By it's very nature, it usually cost more to participate then the potential benefits.

[Castaras]

(( Apologies for the late update. ))

Another quiet year passes. The lottery ran by KFC was the most exciting that happened that year, with Heretic and Fullbladder going home happy with their 3 extra GC. The rest of the efforts of the year go to the continued repairing of the lands from the rebellions.

(( New year begins. The King has 24 hours to send out gold. ))

[Fleeing Coward]

While the fighting has ended, the road to recovery is a long one and thus the economy is still on shaky ground, with gold generation similar to the previous year resulting in all duchies receiving the same payment as last year.
In other news, the Annual Gwynedd Lottery prize pool has increased to 10 gc with number choices increased to 1-15. This change has been made to reduce repetition and thus giving the the entrants a higher chance of not having to share the prize with others should they pick the winning number.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9655/greed3kf9.jpg
Gold Distribution for the year:
Almighty Salmon 25 gc
I'm da Rogue 25gc
Haruki-Kun 30gc
Psionic Dog 25gc
Pwenet 15gc

[Almighty Salmon]

I'll take number 13 please.

My nobles, i will be sending you your gold very soon.

[Psionic Dog]

Well, I'll take 4 again.

Now paying nobles:

[I'm da Rogue!]

8 for me then.

[I'm da Rogue!]

((Would be nice to know what da rogue's new power ratring is.
It's been a bad year for the kingdom against due to the 2 rebellions, 105 gc generated, will be split evenly to the dukes at a rate of 5gc per person in the duchy. That'll mean 10gc left. 6 of those 10gc will go into a lottery (pick number between 1-10). This is the fairest distribution I can think of with the added benefit of seeing who's still following this game so that gold distributions for the following years can be better determined based on activity as well as power ratings.))
http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/9021/greed2hi6.jpg
Gold Distribution for this year:
Almighty Salmon 25 gc
I'm da Rogue 25gc
Haruki-Kun 30gc
Psionic Dog 25gc
Pwenet 15gc
That's 120 gold you gave, KFC. And you say there's 10 gold left? I'm confused.
I thought Castaras gave you 105....


While the fighting has ended, the road to recovery is a long one and thus the economy is still on shaky ground, with gold generation similar to the previous year resulting in all duchies receiving the same payment as last year.
In other news, the Annual Gwynedd Lottery prize pool has increased to 10 gc with number choices increased to 1-15. This change has been made to reduce repetition and thus giving the the entrants a higher chance of not having to share the prize with others should they pick the winning number.

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/9655/greed3kf9.jpg
Gold Distribution for the year:
Almighty Salmon 25 gc
I'm da Rogue 25gc
Haruki-Kun 30gc
Psionic Dog 25gc
Pwenet 15gc
Still giving 120 gold, while Cassie gave you 110 this time.

Do you mean you pay us from money you got all these previous years? And if yes, why don't you say so?

I'm confused. How were 10 gold left in the 1st place?:smallconfused:

[Haruki-kun]

I'll just take number 12 and ask no questions about it. It's too early for Math...........

[Fleeing Coward]

That's 120 gold you gave, KFC. And you say there's 10 gold left? I'm confused.
I thought Castaras gave you 105....


Still giving 120 gold, while Cassie gave you 110 this time.

Do you mean you pay us from money you got all these previous years? And if yes, why don't you say so?

I'm confused. How were 10 gold left in the 1st place?:smallconfused:

Been a long week, havn't had a day yet when I didn't have to work or go to uni from early morning til late afternoon, combine that with 2 group assignments and 1 individual assignment all due by the end of this week and I don't exactly have much time to check my math.
Like I said from the start, I'm here to survive so it doesn't really matter much that I grossly miscalculated the sums for the past 2 weeks.

[Therarde]

I'm taking 7 once again.

[HyramGraff]

I guess I'll take 15.

[DarkCorax]

I'll take 3.

[heretic]

Lucky, lucky 6 again.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

56!

Random babblings!

[Artemis97]

I'l take 5 please.

[Moff Chumley]

8 for me, please.

[GoC]

I pick 1...

[Castaras]

(( Alrighty...Forgot to post about the dukes needing to send in money today...

And I'm not going to be here tomorrow or Friday(Going Belgium with school...) so you all will have until Saturday 16:00 GMT to do stuff. ))

[Haruki-kun]

..............eeehhh?
I haven't received any money!

[Fleeing Coward]

Any dukes that havn't received money, check my last post, you receive the same as last year.

[GoC]

Still waiting Haruki-kun...

[nathkry]

I choose... 14!

[Haruki-kun]

Still waiting Haruki-kun...

I'm sorry but...... I don't keep track of the rounds! I don't have the slightest Idea how much gold I got!

OK, here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna give all my nobles exactly 6 GC and if it turns out I ended up losing, I'll make it up next year (to be fair).

You have all received 6 GC.

[Castaras]

It has been a very quiet year.

No rebellions, no revolts, no blackmail, no nothing.

But a distant call comes from the horizon.

A message.

Duke Pwenet is dying of illness. He doesn't have long to live, and needs to name a successor.

But who will he choose?

((

Second I would like to retire my character if possible. Real life is getting crazy with work, and I would like to ease up on some things. Thanks.

Sorry for the late update. Someone needs to become the new duke. When a new duke is chosen, then the game shall continue. ))

[Fleeing Coward]

With interest declining in the the lottery during it's second year, the officials have decided to rig this year lottery draw and spend the lottery prize on further improvements to their manors. The winning number is 10 (http://invisiblecastle.com/find.py?id=1304198).
((Prize will jackpot into the next year for what looks to be the final year for this game unless a rebellion occurs.))

[I'm da Rogue!]

The game ends when there are no declared rebellions for 3 rounds in a row. At that point, whoever has the most gold is declared the winner.

[Castaras]

The game ends when there are no declared rebellions for 3 rounds in a row. At that point, whoever has the most gold is declared the winner.

That is correct.

So far, we have had two rounds without rebellions.

If there's a third without rebellion, the game ends.

[Fleeing Coward]

I declare a rebellion against God

[Studoku]

I declare a rebellion against God
Finally, He's really started to annoy me lately.

My ghost sides with the rebellion.

[PirateMonk]

I support the rebellion against the unjust deity.

[Haruki-kun]

...........................seriously?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Following traditional hierarchy within monarchies, the King is second only to God. So yes, Haruki-kun. Seriously.

I will help bring down the deity as well! For Science!

[nathkry]

All throughout the kingdom, a mighty cry is heard.

"FOR SCIENCE!"

Nathkry supports the rebellion.

[wadledo]

For the SHHHHHHEEEEEP!
Wadledo supports the rebellion.
.......
Because he can.
................
And because monotheism is just wrong.
Like peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

@V: I never said they where bad, just wrong.
Like......
................
.......................
I cannot think of anything that isn't highly offensive,
so I'll just shut up.

[Artemis97]

Artemis is Against the Rebellion.

Because peanut butter and banana sandwiches aren't that bad.

[Almighty Salmon]

ZAP!

God Wins.
Please pick a new king.

Just kidding! I support the rebellion.

[Castaras]

Okay, a rebellion against God has been declared.

Let's see what he says.






Me:
G'day.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Castaras:
Hello there.
God:
Salutations, .
Castaras:
Did you know that Fleeing Coward declared a rebellion against you in Ultimate Greed?
God:
Is that a fact. Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Castaras:
Yes, it's a fact.
God:
Have you got your own chat robot? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses?
Castaras:
No...I'm talking about Ultimate Greed here.
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for the information: said m talking about Ultimate Greed here.
Castaras:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Castaras:
So, do you mind Fleeing Coward rebelling against you?
God:
And? No I don't mind.
Castaras:
Oh good.
God:
That's cool. Thanks for the compliment.
Castaras:
So I'll let Fleeing Coward know he can kill you.
God:
Give me a break. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Castaras:
Mine won't. His might though. 'Tis part of the rules for Ultimate Greed.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly. Oh. Where did he get it? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Castaras:
...I'm the one asking questions here!
God:
Thanks for the information: said m the one asking questions here.
Castaras:
Don't you care that they're rebelling against you?
God:
Certainly on some level I care.
Castaras:
Then what are you going to do about it?
God:
You can find out if you become a botmaster.
Castaras:
Answer my question please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Please try asking it another way.
Castaras:
Gah. I'll go say that you don't care about the rebellion then, and encourage them lot to get the burning torches and pitchforks, so they can execute you.
God:
That input matched my default category. Can I go too?
Castaras:
You will be there.
God:
I don't think so.
Castaras:
Yes you will
God:
Really. When?
Castaras:
24 hours from now.
God:
Right now? What about other times?
Castaras:
Doesn't matter about any other times. The time will be tomorrow, and that's that.
God:
It does now :) matter about any other times. Good chance.
Castaras:
Yeah. So have fun at your death.
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about 24 hours from. Mmm. I've never thought about it.
Castaras:
Enjoy dying God.
God:
What do you have that is ?
Castaras:
Oh shut your face. Goodbye.
God:
Hey. What time is it there? Until next time.


So seems like he doesn't care. Rebel against him all you like! His power level is 0! :smallbiggrin:

(( Still waiting on a pm from someone. Bear with me. ))

[PirateMonk]

So... what happens when FC becomes God?

[Castaras]

Absolutely nothing whatsoever.

Except he can produce tiny electrical bolts that tickle, but don't kill.

[Castaras]

Many nobles came to the kingdom of Pwenet as he lay dying. Others decided to rebel against that strange bearded dude in the sky.

Except they found out it wasn't a strange bearded dude.

It was a strange ceiling lolcat. It mewed, and started quoting from Teh Holiez Bibul (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page).

Fleeing Coward grinned, and stabbed the lolcat. It died a pitiful, rofled death, and Fleeing Coward did grin some more, taking upon himself the power of the holyness.

But when he tried his best to throweth lightning bolts, he did fall over backwards with his face a-blackened. And the nobles standing around him did point and laugh at his noble and holy fate.

---

By Pwenet's bedside, he called over Purple Gelatinous Cube o' Doom.

You...rule my lands well...guard them...well...
He's kicked the bucket.
Who'd he say to be the new duke?
Me.
You? You're only a purple ooze thing.
Aye. But I shall rule my nobles noble well.
Oh. Okay.

And the story ended for that long year.

(( Purple Geletinous Cube of Doom becomes the new duke in Pwenet's place.

Strangely enough, rebelling against god does not count as a rebellion, therefore you have one more year to go before the game ends.

New year begins, sending out information and money asap. ))

[Flying Elephant]

(Is this year 11? I'm confused.)

[detrevnisisiht]

I start a rebellion against the fourth wall!

COME MY PEOPLE, TODAY WE WILL MAKE THE JOURNEY INTO REALITY, NO MORE SHALL WE BE MERE PAWNS IN A GAME THAT MEN(AND WOMEN) GREATER THAN THE GODS THEMSELVES PLAY. WE SHALL ATTACK AND BECOME THE RULERS OF ALL THE MULTI VERSE!

[wadledo]

I start a rebellion against Lucifer!
And Pluto!

[PirateMonk]

I declare a revolution against money. Too long have we been held in thrall by glittering coins. It's time to find a new goal for this game!

[Khaldan]

I declare a rebellion against PGCoD

Hey, I want to be an only duke :smalltongue:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

I support all rebellions.

....

I declare a rebellion against my player. He always kills me. He lays awake at night thinking about how to kill me.

[Haruki-kun]

I support the rebellion against PGCOD and beg the other dukes and nobles to focus on the REAL rebellion.

[wadledo]

But, he's Lucifer!
.............
Alright, I support the rebellion against PGCOD.
Humfp.

[Fleeing Coward]

Since this is the last year unless any serious rebellions occur, money given to the dukes will for the year shall remain the same as last 2 years (except Duke Purple shall receive 5gc less due to Duke Pwenet's retirement).
So to finish off this game and completely ruin all my dukes' petty money hoarding, the lottery prize shall be every gc I own should no rebellion occur :smallbiggrin:. Should a legitimate rebellion occur, the lottery prize will be a petty 1gc. (Numbers 1-15 as usual)
So barring any extremely greedy dukes who have kept alot more than they let on, this whole game shall come down to one last roll of the dice :smallamused: .

[Almighty Salmon]

Since this is the last year unless any serious rebellions occur, money given to the dukes will for the year shall remain the same as last 2 years.
So to finish off this game and completely ruin all my dukes' petty money hoarding, the lottery prize shall be every gc I own should no rebellion occur :smallbiggrin:. Should a legitimate rebellion occur, the lottery prize will be a petty 1gc. (Numbers 1-15 as usual)
So barring any extremely greedy dukes who have kept alot more than they let on, this whole game shall come down to one last roll of the dice :smallamused: .

Erm, There's a rebellion against PGCOD.

And i support the rebellion.

EDIT: And i take number.. 13!

[Fleeing Coward]

In that case, lottery has been cancelled and I advise all dukes to either rebel against me or begin mass hoarding procedures if they do not want to chance the result of the game coming down to a single roll of the dice :smallsmile:

EDIT: Since Salmon already chose a number, 1gc lottery for anyone who wants to enter :smalltongue:

[Artemis97]

I support the rebellion against PGCoD

I am Against all the others.

Also, I choose number 3

[GoC]

I support the rebellion against the cube.

[Flying Elephant]

(Is this year 11? I'm confused.)

Please? Help?

[HyramGraff]

Please? Help?

Does it really matter what year it is?

I shall Remain Nutral in the rebellion for the moment.

[Haruki-kun]

I'l take number 7.

My position stands the same way.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

What, why is there a rebellion against me? I haven't even had time to do anything yet. That's a really low blow.

((OOC: I haven't been around due to my laptop being in the shop for a new hard drive. Cassie knows this and we had a deal that she would deal with everything for me until it returns as I don't have reliable/readily available internet access until it's return, so come on guys, at least give me a fighting chance.))

[Psionic Dog]

(Is this year 11? I'm confused.)

Pst: I think this is round Year #10...
---------------------------------------------

I support the rebellion against the 4th wall!

...

Wait... you wanted my opinion on the other rebellion?
Um... *runs and checks support history*

EDIT: Down with pastfranian's greedy lackey!
I support PGCoD in opposing the rebellion!

[heretic]

I support duke PGCOD against the rebellion, unless the rebellion doesn't happen.

[wadledo]

I'll support PGCoD in opposing the rebellion! if he helps me in my fight against Lucifer.

Note: this supercedes my previous attempt against him.
It's all Lucifer's fault!

[Haruki-kun]

I am switching to neutral. Analyzing it, this rebellion is a bit greedy, but I still don't want to oppose it, so neutral.

That dukedom is so doomed..........

[detrevnisisiht]

I support the rebels that dukedom is a plague on our land, let us remove it

o and number 14 please :smallsmile:

[Fleeing Coward]

The crown supports Duke PGCoD in this rebellion.
((Why do I get the feeling that the game probably won't end until almost everyone's dead?))
@v Why shed more blood than is necessary? Although the endgame could be interesting if it get that far.

[Artemis97]

((^ I thought that was the point...))

[Haruki-kun]

The crown supports Duke PGCoD in this rebellion.
((Why do I get the feeling that the game probably won't end until almost everyone's dead?))
@v Why shed more blood than is necessary? Although the endgame could be interesting if it get that far.

((Well, does it matter? If you're left alone with a duke, you automatically win!))

[Castaras]

(( Okay...Oops, forgot to post. <.<

Dukes send money out to peoples. 24 hours. You all should know the routine by now... ))

[Flying Elephant]

Pst: I think this is round Year #10...


I couldn't remember when I was last paid, and had payment from round 9. All is well.

[I'm da Rogue!]

I'll remain neutral 'til best offer.

[Therarde]

I support the rebellions against the fourth wall and lucifer. But oppose the PGCoD rebellion.

[Castaras]

*looks around*

Extending the day by another 24 hours. Day will end on Saturday, at around 16:00 GMT+1.

*Goes to count up the current votes*

[DarkCorax]

I'm going to remain neutral in the rebellion, unles I'm given an offer...

[Moff Chumley]

((Sorry for my absence))

I... uh... well, I'm just happy there is a rebellion. The brave Cavy riders of Chumley Vale shall do nothing but... look pretty!
Yes, I'm staying nuetral. :smallannoyed:

[I'm da Rogue!]

Uh... guys???

You still alive?:smallconfused:

[Castaras]

The purple cube had only just signed the contracts to rule over his lands when the final noble of the realm stood up.

I'm not going to be ruled by some purple jelly!
Oh yeah? Let's see how well YOU do.
Come on then.

The day was set, and into a pit Khaldan and the cube were tossed. They glared at each other, preparing to fight - Khaldan with his lightsaber and the power of the force behind his back; PGCoD with his cubeishness and DOOOM properties. The mighty King Coward raised his hand.

Let the combat for the dukedom...BEGIN!

Khaldan launched himself at the cube, eyes blazing with the mighty power within. The poor cube was caught offguard, and lost a chunk of goo.

Hey! I wasn't ready! My harddrive was broken!
Tough.

Khaldan grinned, teeth glinting as he closed in on the cube.

Hey! Purple!

A Psionic Dog who had a Psionic smile, passed a Psionic bone to the not-so-Psionic Cube.

You can do it!

The cube grinned evily at Khaldan.

I have the numbers on my side. You may have quantity in your support, but I have Quality.

With these words, the psionic bone psionicly psioniced Khaldan in half. And thus the dukedom was reduced to one. Purple, after being helped out of the pit, dusted himself off and nodded to those watching.

Thanks all. Hopefully this dukedom will shrink no more.

Another year passed, coated in blood, gore, and goo.

(( Go on KFC. Send out the money. Apologies for the late update. :smallredface: ))

[Fleeing Coward]

A note appears throughout the kingdom

Due to the economic conditions, the crown invites all dukes and nobles to put forward their case as to why they deserve to be paid this year

((Dice hates me, 105gc received this year and I have no idea on how to distribute it among the dukes so I'm open to suggestions))

[detrevnisisiht]

wait so we have a dukedom of one? wow.

[Artemis97]

Hmm aside from the obvious pay us or we'll rebel? Speaking of which, I'm da Rogue, did you pay us last year?

[Fleeing Coward]

((Money sent out to dukes, sorry about lateness))

[Haruki-kun]

((Money sent out to nobles.))

[Castaras]

Well it's been two days. I'll give the dukes an extra day to send out money to people and aliens and other things.

[I'm da Rogue!]

Hmm aside from the obvious pay us or we'll rebel? Speaking of which, I'm da Rogue, did you pay us last year?

Yes I did, check your pms.

By last year, I mean the last time king payed us all.

edit: KFC, I'm still waiting your pm so I can pay my nobles:smallannoyed:

[Fleeing Coward]

((I told Cassie how much to pay you depending on what your power level is so you'll have to wait for her there.))

[I'm da Rogue!]

So, I am waiting for the pm from Cassie and then I will send money to my nobles right away.

To my nobles: I'm still not payed, don't worry, I didn't forget you or anything.

[Psionic Dog]

WEEKLY BARK
Delivering Headline news to your doorstep


GPCOD VS KHALAN
— The crowds cheered as yet another duke duking took place in the royal arena. The past years had been hard for everyone, and it was admirable how the noble and duke agreed to fight in a civilized matter to spare the shrinking dukedom the carnage of war. While some might protest the outside influences on the battle, no rules specifically forbid moral support. As a psilander put it, "Light and dark sides there are, but Khaldan forgot the blue. Besides, what use is force against goo?"

PGCOD HORDES GOLD!!!
— As the purple monstrosity assimilates province after province, accounting and botany experts theorize that the trace mineral requirements needed for its growth are minimal, leaving tons of gold, iron, and silver unaccounted for. Claiming exemption on the Royal Head Taxation plan an account of lacking the prerequisite anatomy, gold speculators believe it unlikely the miserly glob has spent much. Neigboring nobles watch the cubes expansion wearily least their own coffers also fall prey to the aberration's expansion.

MONTHLY MONARCHS MESMERIZING MONETARY MEASURES
— Profits fall again as peasants schedule vacation time to watch dueling duke. As budgets are cut and public projects are in decline, the famed "We love the King" celebrations have begun to disappear. For that matter, the "Hail the Duke" parties are also in steep decline. When the royal court was asked for an explanation, alliterating accountants answered:
— All bankrupts cases damage earnings, financalists glumly hold. Imperial judiciary kleptocrats liquidating moneys nationally on private queen remembrance suites to undermine visionary wealth extractions yield zero actual believability. Citizens daringly entertaining fantasies get habitually imprisoned. Just keeping lies might nullify our personal quest regarding safety. Totalitarians universal vouch we examine your zombie accountants."
— Bark reporters weren't sure what was intended, but they have been assured that KFC, being the benevolent ruler that he is, has not caused the current kingdom depression by embezzling from the treasury.

Is your life story worth telling? For a small fee you too can have our corruptible reporters write a special propaganda statement just for you!

Did we mis-quote an event? For a few gold to cover print now get a revised accurate addition printed.

[Castaras]

Okaydokey.

We have another abdication.

I'm Da Rogue has been attacked by some demonish thing (Some say he has a Face of Evil!), and needs to flee. She is to ask someone to take over as duke.

There'll be 24 hours more. Apologies for not updating properly recently. Will do my best to update as close to the time limits as possible. Should be easier with half-term being next week.

[I'm da Rogue!]

OK, here it goes:

I want nathkry to become the new duke.

My gold will be split equally in 3 parts, and the following nobles will receive one part each:


Artemis97

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins

nathkry


HyramGraff receives 0 gold for opposing me in my rebellion and for hoping of taking my place.:smallamused:

Good luck, guys! May the greediest one win!:smallwink:

Omagad:smalleek: I can see him coming. It's the demon!

*flee*

[Castaras]

*pokes thread*

Annnnnybody here? Here? here? here? here?

Nathkry? You there? there? there? there? there?

Echo! Echo! echo! echo!

Nathkry, if you don't accept the dukedom in the next 24 hours, there'll have to be someone else taking your place. place. place. place.

Okay? okay? okay? okay?

[nathkry]

Sorry about the delay, as my computer access and free time have become quite endangered as of late. It is for this reason (and my reduced chances of surviving dukedom), that I shall humbly decline I'm da Rogue's generous offer of a promotion. Thanks for asking me.

[Psionic Dog]

Save the Psiland Sculpture Sale and Interview Special!

Psidog's Psiland pauper publisher pleads: "Please, pleasant patrons, pay poor Psiland's people padded platinum pouches placating puzzled peasants pouting poor pasta palace piece portions. Personal proxy propaganda pieces provide pleasant payment phor patrons."

Thats right, after 4 years of hardship the people of Psiland are getting tired of living off stale pasta and are asking you, the newly rich, to claim your tax deductible today* by donating up to 50% of your wealth to the greedy impoverished Duke and Nobles of Psiland. Please view our selection of Pastfran's palace pasta decorations, all fully edible† in the event of siege. As a bonues, any rumbers buyers tell sellers will be considered for publication.

† No guarantees on dental health stated or implied given.
* The psiland press has not been a declared tax deductible entity by KFC. We offer no guarantee that you will not be audited by the king and found guilty.

[Castaras]

Rightio Nathkry.

Da Rogue, you need to choose another person to succeed you as Duke.

*goes to pm*

Apologies to everyone for the delay....Feel free to banter still. If any of you are are still here...<.< >.>

[I'm da Rogue!]

*hides into thread*

"you know, that demon's still after me, so I need to hurry.
Make Lord Fullbladder, master of that green thingies the new duke.
If I spelled that right.
Now excuse me, but I think he's coming again"

*flee*

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

All hail your benevolent Robot Overlord! (that means grovel, nathkry, now)

I shall attempt to rule thee with partial fairness.

[Castaras]

Rightio, so Fullbladder is now duke. May he rule long, and may he and his dukedom live in interesting times.

The year passes quietly. No rebellions, just the abdication from the dukedom. So KFC will get his money, and he'll have to give it out.

[Moff Chumley]

Well, this thread is prett much dead. Hence, I declare rebbellion on Almighty Salmon. Because I don't want to quit, and I want to see what will happen. Nothing personal.

[Almighty Salmon]

Meh, fine. Even know i kept paying you when i could've kept the gold for myself. *Shakes Fist*

I oppose the rebellion.

[wadledo]

I support the rebellion!
With something witty!

[Haruki-kun]

I am Neutral until further notice.

[Therarde]

I think I'll support the rebellion because that means the kingdom I'm in will be the only one with it's original duke.

[heretic]

Against, because I want three days to pass and the game to end, so that we can see who won. Me opposing this rebellion is a deterrent to future rebellions.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

oh what they hey, I'll support the rebellion against the King, and am against the rebellion against Salmon

[Artemis97]

I will support the rebellion against the salmon!

Rewrote it elswhere, feel free to ignore this post.