Ultimate Greed II

[Fleeing Coward]

Against the rebellion against myself
For the rebellion against the evil Salmon.
@v Now that's one treacherous Salmon, I've always given you more than your fair share of the gold despite your power rating and you're the duke that decides to rebel against me? :smalltongue:

[Almighty Salmon]

Looks like i'm going down, even with the kings support.

If i'm going down, i'm going down swinging! :smallwink:

I rebel against the old coward!

[Castaras]

TWO rebellions? And even before the dukes have sent in their money...:smalltongue:

Okaydokey. Two rebellions - One against the Salmon, one against the Coward.

Choose who to support, and who to mutilate. Banter all you want.

[HyramGraff]

I oppose the rebellion against Almight Salmon.

I support the rebellion against the king!

[heretic]

Against both.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Support both!

Fair and noble nobles of Fullbladdia, please do not rebel against me! I cannot give you money, for I have received none myself! please don't kill me.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Well, I gave Cassie the distribution for the year way before Salmon decided to try take me down with him so I don't know why you havn't received your money yet.))

[Almighty Salmon]

Against the rebellion against myself
For the rebellion against the evil Salmon.
@v Now that's one treacherous Salmon, I've always given you more than your fair share of the gold despite your power rating and you're the duke that decides to rebel against me? :smalltongue:

((Pfft, i just decided if i do go down. My arch enemy should come with me :smalltongue:))

[Fleeing Coward]

((Pfft, i just decided if i do go down. My arch enemy should come with me :smalltongue:))

You only got yourself to blame for your downfall really. Before you decided to rebel against me, you actually had an even chance of surviving. Now you're down by over 20 points :smalltongue:

[Almighty Salmon]

You only got yourself to blame for your downfall really. Before you decided to rebel against me, you actually had an even chance of surviving. Now you're down by over 20 points :smalltongue:

Totally worth it to see you fall with me :smallbiggrin:

[Fleeing Coward]

Totally worth it to see you fall with me :smallbiggrin:

Yea, it's times like this that I wish I actually kept some money to bribe people with :smalltongue:

[GoC]

I'm against the Salmon in both rebellions. (yummy)

[Jontom Xire]

I support all rebellions! Hooraah!

Sorry, just feeling silly and violent today.

[Haruki-kun]

So..... what happens if Salmon wins one Rebellion but loses the other one?

[Castaras]

So..... what happens if Salmon wins one Rebellion but loses the other one?

He'll choose someone to become king in his place.

[Moff Chumley]

Wow... I actually have a greater than 40% chance of not being killed. That... is terrific. Salmon, the rebbellion was not of any personal fault of your own, it was simply because I wanted to drag the game on. :smallbiggrin: I have immense respect for your honesty about my money. However, I do oppose the rebbellion against the fair king.

[DarkCorax]

I support both rebellions "Because":smallamused:.

[Haruki-kun]

I'll oppose the rebellion against the king andremain neutral in the rebellion against the Salmon.

[Artemis97]

I am opposed to the rebellion against the king.

I support the rebellion against Salmon.

[Castaras]

I sat here for hours trying to think of something to write. Sadly, creativity isn't working how I want it to today, as usual. :smallsigh:

But anyway, the Salmon has gone to the great freshwater lake in the sky, free of bathed ones calling him a Landfish, free of sushi obsessed cowards, free of all his troubles, and free of his gold.

So not all good.

But Coward once again evaded death at the hands at a dying noble. Which could be good.

And Moff Chumley is now duke of Salmonotopia. 'Gratz to him.

So all in all, Salmon lost both rebellions. Poor him.

Sorting out power levels, money and stuff, then I'll give money to the Coward, and he can flee with the money or give it to everyone.

[Almighty Salmon]

That darn Coward, he escaped death again. Meh, he probably bribed people, whether he denies it or not. Now where's the Pond of Infinite One-Night Stands?

(Thanks for a fun game, Castaras!)

[Moff Chumley]

HA HA!
There are gonna be some changes around here! The dutchy is now officially called Chumland. Sushi is the official food. The giant Salmon Statue is now a Guenia pig statue. And, to show my fellow dukes my good will, celestial Guenia Pigs for all!

[Haruki-kun]

(Don't try to rebel against the Coward! We like the Coward! The Coward's a good king!)

Can we have some of that Sushi over here?

[Fleeing Coward]

What type of sushi would you like? I hear the new Salmon sushi tastes great.

((Don't I get a choice of executions? There's a certain rebellious Duke that I'd like to join Salmon in the afterlife))

[Castaras]

So you do.

I didn't forget, honest.

I was...testing you! That's it! :smallbiggrin:

Choose someone to mutilate horribly. Don't enjoy it too much.

[Fleeing Coward]

Posters begin appearing all over Fullbladdia bearing the image of it's duke.


Duke Fullbladder
http://img250.imageshack.us/img250/607/freezegoblinkr9.png
Wanted for treason, genocide, torture, enslavement, embezzlement and been a goblin. Last seen fleeing his castle in Fullbladdia with a large sack of gold.
Reward: Year's Supply of Sushi

((Offering dukedom to Artemis if she wants it.
Sorry Lord Fullbladder, nothing personal, just business.))

[Moff Chumley]

I shall supply the Sushi! Turns out ol' Almighty Salmon's been stockpiling fish in his underground lair for years... enough to feed a hungry population! :smallfurious:

Well, no more! :smallsmile:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Those catgirls had it coming! (The elves too, but that's a wanted poster for another day)

Bah! They didn't even use a good picture of me! I look fat there! What do you think?

*opens poster in Fleeing Coward's face*

See? I completely don't look like that.

THE KING IS A FINK! A FINK I TELL YOU! RISE UP! RISE UP AND STRIKE HIM DOWN BEFORE HE FINKS YOU UP!

Okay, I'm done. Drag me off to be a martyr. I'll take my sushi in a cubby hole in the coffin, alongside the minibar, thanks.

Oh, one more thing. Sorry, but I owe it to some Jaffa to say this.

"I die free."

[Castaras]

:biggrin:

You guys crack me up.

Artemis, will you become the new duchess?

[Artemis97]

*bows* "I accept my new position as Duchess, with apologies to Lord Fullbladder. Anyone with a dislike of catgirls and can quote Stargate is alright in my book. This was business, nothing personal."

[Castaras]

Alrighty.

PMs have been sent out.

A new year begins.

[Fleeing Coward]

((Money distributed, Dukes/Duchesses notified. The Dukes/Duchesses that supported me during the rebellion have received an increase in gc per capita and can continue to expect similar payments during future years provided the economy does not experience another recession.))

The king looks through a catalogue of islands food rations that he may purchase with the money he embezzled borrowed from his foolish loyal subjects while waiting for the next rebellion.

[Moff Chumley]

Nobles've been payed.

[Castaras]

Apologies for late update.

24 hours for you lot to do stuff.

[Castaras]

I feel so alone in this thread...

It's a new year.

I'll send out stuff to Fleeing Coward in a sec.

[wadledo]

I'll keep you company!
I rebel against someone who I can rebel against!
Preferably someone who I can win against!

[Fleeing Coward]

I rebel against the devil
I've taken control of Heaven, now I'll take Hell :smallamused:

((The economy has stayed stable and while I can't maintain the same level of payment as last year, it will be relatively close.))

[Castaras]

I'm sorry Coward, I shouldn't be doing this, but are you sure you want to rebel against the Devil?

I mean, his power level is OVER NINE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUSAND!

[Fleeing Coward]

Sure, just give me a sec to change check my Power Rating.


Fleeing Coward
Power Rating: Ten Over Nine Thousand +1

Yep, I'll rebel against the devil.

[Psionic Dog]

:smallsmile:
*Checks mailbox for paystub*
:smallannoyed:
:smallmad:


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•Bulletin Toss taught by Harpy R Tpaid. :smallwink:

[Haruki-kun]

((Sta B. Deth, LOL :smalltongue: ))

[Castaras]

Right.

Annnybody here?

Nope?

Okay.

Apologies for not updating, saying it was the rp section. Thought I had...<.<

So you all get an extra 24 hours, while I finish off the updating of the spreadsheet.

[Fleeing Coward]

Still here, just moving all my gold from the treasury into my secret hideout so that I can continue playing the generous king who can't support himself :smallbiggrin:

[Moff Chumley]

Well, Oh Em Gee. Thats not very honest, now is it?

[Castaras]

*grins*

*posts a generic message saying another year hath past, ye horrible lot shalleth gaineth goldish things upon the tolling of ye olde bell above yonder PM Box of his royal majesty, Fleeing Coward*

[Castaras]

King's gold has been sent out, which means that the dukes have 24 hours to send out their goldish things in the third year.

Just to let you all know, that if this year has no rebellion, then the game will end.

I should go create some trophies shouldn't I? *goes to create*

[Fleeing Coward]

Any of the 2 poorly paid Dukes care to rebel to extend this already long game into double overtime?
((Since this is the last year barring another rebellion, these are this year's payments and my reasoning behind them:
Moff Chumley 24gc (6gc/p, while he has supported me both rebellions, has the most inactive nobles and received a very nice sum when he killed Almighty Salmon)
Artemis97 21gc (7gc/p, supported me both rebellions, active nobles)
Haruki-Kun 44gc (7gc/p +2, supported me in both rebellion only after the result was clear but has managed to keep all 5 nobles in his duchy happy)
Psionic Dog 21gc (4gc/p +1, neutrality doesn't pay well, especially when his nobles were against me too)
Purple 0gc (Has got the fortune of a whole duchy with him and he opposed me last rebellion)))

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Alright, THIS IS IT!!!! This is second year in four that I've gotten no gold at all. I was only mildly annoyed with the whole tax thing right after I became duke. Then with little gold the next two years, and none this year has pushed me over the edge. I have subjects to feed to ya know. But I guess you've failed to see that while my subjects are starving because I have no money for them to buy food.

Starts Rebellion against King Fleeing Coward

The good king did mention, the vast amount of money I have, and with that fortune, I'm offering anyone who will support me in this rebellion an amount of money to be determined if and when the rebellion is won. (basically, I'm going to give anyone who helps me free gold)

All those who are tired of the tyrannical rule of King FC, rally behind me, and ye shall be rewarded. ONWARD TO VICTORY!!!

(Oh, and btw, if king FC wins, that means he gets all my gold, which would likely put him far in front of anyone else in the gold dept. Granted I'll get all his if I win, but as I said, Anyone who helps me will get an additional sum of money for the assistance.)

[wadledo]

\/\/[][]*|*

[_+[]|_[) !z -|-[-|~| \/\/!/v.

(That's exactly what it looks like)

[Fleeing Coward]

I see our Duke Purple is beginning to fear that he might not win the prize that he sought after having rid of everyone in his duchy.
Considering how much was given to Duke Purple's duchy in the early years, random days of gold starvation only evens the odds so that all dukes and nobles have an equal chance of winning yet he still seeks even more.
As for the Duke's lies about his subjects not getting fed, I assure everyone that the crown had provided more than enough rations to feed the peasentry.
The little gold part - I'm sure that any noble in most of the other Dukedoms would have been more than happy to receive the 6/5 gc given to Duke Purple even though he supported the Salmon.
The crown opposes the Rebellion

((Should I win this rebellion, I ask that Castaras openly reveal how much Duke Purple had and I will distribute every single gc of that evenly between my supporters (This time, last minute vote changers seeking to grab their share when the result is obvious will get nothing).
Like I've said all along, I've come here to survive and keep as many of my dukes happy while still ensuring that everyone still has a relatively equal chance of winning.
Duke Purple on the other hand seeks for nothing but victory with little regard to fairness and if he does dispose of me, how much of my gold do you think will really reach your hands?
While he seeks to hide the truth, I offer an open system which will ensure that every single gc Duke Purple had will be given out.)

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Trying to save your skin dear king. Well, I"ll beat you to the punch. I currently have 158 GC. You say that I have little regard for fairness, but how do you know what I have in mind, or if I will be fair. You don't know anything about what I'm thinking or my plans. But if you must know, I was planning on giving everyone of my supporters equal or more gold than anyone got this year. (7 or more) You claim that I that I seek to hide the truth and that all will prosper under you. But it seems you were wrong, and I am more open and willing to give information that you think. If you would like to believe the king and think I'm lying, then side with him. But, I guarantee all those who support me if I win the amount of gold already stated.

[Fleeing Coward]

My fellow Dukes, Duchesses and Nobles, Duke Purple has just shown you all just how greedy he is. The sum that he has obtained is probably more than double what most of you have yet he still seeks to complain that he did not receive gold for a year or 2?
Think how you will fare with him as king. He has already shown that he can not be trusted to fairly distribute the gold by starting the rebellion. Does he really deserve to rule and potentially deprive you of even more gold?
Should the duke fail in his rebellion, I shall give out every single one of those 158 gc to my supporters and should it not divide evenly, I will even offer a few of my own gold to ensure that everyone receives a fair share.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

You talk and you talk, but you seem to fail to realize a main fact. I never had any nobles to distribute gold to. (Castaras dealt with the gold distribution while my computer was in the shop, and when I got it back, there was nobody left to distribute gold to.)

If you want to play hardball king, then you've got a fight on your hands. If I win this rebellion, I shall not give myself any gold any year as long as the game shall last, and likely more once the gold of the ex king is inventoried.

[Fleeing Coward]

You're just promising to do something that I'm already doing. Every single gc generated this year has been distributed to the Dukes, yet you seek to complain even with your vast gold hoard. Not only have I not kept any gold for myself during the years of when gold generated were low, I've even gone so far as to give more gold than was generated on some years. So care to make up some even more outrageous offer to win a rebellion you should not have started?
Had you just kept quiet, you would have almost certain won this yet you got greedy and decided to try to take the monarchy as well.

[heretic]

Opposes rebellion and will oppose every future rebellion, because this game needs to end.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

I"m not complaining dear king, I just think I can do a better job than you (and I'm having fun messing with your mind and keeping the game going). Now, I figured out that if you gave everyone still here an equal share of my gold, everyone would get around 8 GC. I've now decided to be very generous, and give everyone who will support me 10 GC. Beat that dear King. You know, the name of the game is greed dear king, or have you forgotten that.

[Fleeing Coward]

Actually, they'd get 9 gc each, which includes 4gc of my own gold IF everyone votes.
However, looking at previous voting records, we'd be lucky to get 2/3rds of the people to support or oppose the rebellion. Assuming they all support me, their expected income is closer to 13-14 gc each, more if a few decide to support you.
while you continue to try to cheat the fair people of our land by offering set amounts, I have made it clear that every single cent of your ill gotten gold shall be distributed back to the kingdom.
While the name of the game may be greed, I hope the people would rather have a king that has always tried to be fair in his payments when possible rather than a dirty scoundrel who has been blinded by greed (Besides, this game has gone on way too long, it's time for it to end) .

[Haruki-kun]

I OPPOSE THIS REBELLION.

You know, I loved this game. It was a lot of fun, really. But seriously, it's time for it to end. I wanna see who won already.

[Raiser Blade]

Um by opposing rebelions you guys aren't actually changing the time in which this game will end. Also if FC wins this he wins the game.

[Fleeing Coward]

Where did that theory come from? At the rate I'm giving out gold, I'd be lucky not to finish last :smalltongue:

[Haruki-kun]

That doesn't matter!

Even if I think the game should end already, I'm still playing it, and I'm gonna play it right. His Majesty, KFC, has paid me and my nobles well, and he deserves our support. I can't speak for my nobles, but I'm sure they agree with me.

I'm still against this rebellion!

[Psionic Dog]

Even though I'm begining to hate the current king's finnancial plan with a burning passion, (nobles you now see why I've had so much trouble giving you the payment you deserve), I will oppose the rebellion. I personaly believe that the cube is the richest person in the game after assimulating the entire net worth of his province. Besides, if neutrality doesn't pay, loyalty should. And if I don't get my share of the plunder when the dust settles... :smallamused:

[Flying Elephant]

For Duke and King and Money!

[Artemis97]

My loyalty remains with the king, and so I oppose the rebellion..

[Castaras]

Wait what?

Rebellion again?

You guys are getting good at rebelling every third year aren't ya?

24 more hours for rp and for the others to decide who's side you will go on.

[heretic]

Um by opposing rebelions you guys aren't actually changing the time in which this game will end. Also if FC wins this he wins the game.

By opposing this rebellion, I am deterring future rebellions and therefore shortening the game.

[HyramGraff]

I support the rebellion against KFC!

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Ya know, it seems to me that everyone thinks I started this rebellion because I don't like the way things are going with the current king, and think I can do a better job. While the former part is indeed true, the latter is not. I have no desire what so ever to be king. If I win this rebellion, anyone who wants to be king, shall be. If there is more than one who wishes to be king, then I think a tournament shall decide the successor. I think our dear king is not cutthroat enough for our little games, and I believe that we need someone who's got guts enough for the position. Oh, and I definitely am willing it seems to give out more gold than that of our dear king, who will only give out the 158GC that I have if my rebellion fails. As I stated earlier, if everyone left gets an equal share, you each get 8 GC, whereas I've offered at least 10.

[nathkry]

For freedom gold! I support the rebellion!

[Moff Chumley]

Ohhh... Free money. As opposed to money that costs stuff. Especially money that costs money. I always feel like I'm being scammed when I pay for money. But, still, I don't like people who beg.

FOR KFC!

And for the record, this year, I paid my nobles the total sum of all the money I was givin. Maybe more. Who cares? I got a pile of money off of Fishy. Plus, KFC supported me in that rebbellion. I'm deffinatly gonna stand by him.

[Castaras]

And PGCoD cried out against KFC.

Where's my money?! Why didn't you pay me again?!

KFC grinned at PGCoD, and replied only with a tax statement for the Purple Cube. This angered PGCoD greatly.

I will rebel! Join me brothers, and sisters! I'll pay you well!
But we like KFC.
He's a good king.
He'll give us more money!
Will he?
Yep.
Ooo.
Maybe we shouldn't rebel then.
Nah.
Anyway, he helped me rebel against the salmon.
That he did.
DOWN WITH THE CUBE!

It is rarely you see a gelatinous cube torn into little pieces as viciously as the crowd fighting for KFC tore PGCoD apart. There may have been support for the cube, yet they were not enough to save the cube from death and destruction.

Another year passed, in blood and gore.

How nice for the cleaners. Must be fun for them to clean the guck off the pavements.

The new year began, the sun bloodied by their constant strife and battle rising cold over the nightmarish landscape of war, death, and sushi.

(( PGCoD died, his province was eliminated. FC will get the next years money coming through in a sec. ))

[Fleeing Coward]

((Don't have much time so money distributed to Dukes/Duchesses at a rate 6gc per person in the Duchy + 2 gc. Leaving 9 gc for myself (125gc generated this year), 4 of those 9gc goes to making the 6 way split of Purple's gc an even one (27gc sent to each of the Dukes/Duchesses/Nobles that supported me).
Got exams for the next 2-3 days so I probably won't be on for that period. Opposing all rebellions should any arise.))

[Moff Chumley]

I make a land grab and assimilate all the land in PGoD's duchy into Chumland before anyone else does. Yes, this means more land for my nobles.

[Jontom Xire]

Damn!

I was distracted by LLD and so missed the revolution and my chance at extra gold!

I don't know how much I have but I'm fairly sure it is a lot less than 158.

[Psionic Dog]

WEEKLY BARK
Delivering Headline news to your doorstep


PGCD CHALLENGES KING
— The Powerless Glob Called Duke discovered he was duke in an name only when he launched an attack on the KFC, seeking not money but respect and revenge on his disputed tax statement. However, instead of tasting chicken the so-called duke found himself choking on crow. He discovered too late that he had no nobles to support his claim for kingship. The cube made a loud ruckus to rouse the rabble, but the mobs have been out of shape ever since the Rabble Rousers Aerobic center closed. Indeed, when the king poured a golden topping on the gelatin the other Dukes were quick to line up at the jelly buffet, swiftly dicing the bloated cube into bite sized morsels.

MOFF CHUMLEY ANNEXES CUBE LANDS
— Ever greedy, the opportunistic Moff moved in like a jackal at road kill buffet to claim all the cube's land. KFC had previously liquidated the PGCoD's assets, but had not yet announced land development plans. According to the Barks' confidential inside source, identified as only a Janitor of KFC's Entertainment service, the Minister of Royal Entertainment was planing on converting the empty land into a personal luxury resort for the king using embezzled gold reserves. The private resort could double as a five-star retirement home for KFC to live out a luxurious exile should the treacherous gold leaching nobles dispose of him. Apparently, islands were too expensive for even KFC. Unfortunently, the tried and true CSFD processes identified the land as being used to create an 81 hole golf course that would also cater to fox hunting and salmon caviar eating enthusiasts. Confirmation of the MORE JOKE will have to wait until the Celebrity Scandal/Flattery Darts have been tested to ensure accurate flight paths.

KING DROWNS LAND IN GOLD. DUKES HIRE MOVING VANS TO DELIVER TAXES
— After liberating the the hoarded metallic goods the cube assimilated, the benevolent King Fleeing Coward in an act of majestic generosity showered the handful of supporters with vast riches the size of a Dukes ransom and payed the rest of the kingdom with exceptional generosity. Skeptics insist the cowardly king is only trying to bargain for his life having discovered bribery is cheaper than private islands, but for the most part, grateful members of the nobility and the duke's circle have tearfully filled wagons with their finest produce and gemstones while clenching their teeth to hold back their emotions as proper proper for persons of their pedigree while they filled out their tax returns and offered 'gifts' of gratitude. Apparently the year was so prosperous that even the all time low taxes imposed by the king generated payments of record size.

LIFE INSURANCE POLICIES PREMIUMS RISE
— It was a fortunate that the cube's demise left little to bury, for as the death rate of dukes continues to climb at an alarming rate, the premiums are reaching an all time high. While KFC was able to collect quite a fat return on the well timed death of PGCoD, the state funeral clause had been reduced to "Sell corpse to gnolls as a rare delicacy. Use proceeds to pay for 3 x 5 inch copper plaque reading 'Cube, Duke of None Gone Squish'"
— After this latest pay out, insurance is raising it's premium service to 1000gp/year, and encouraging its clients to switch to the 1sp/year economy plan, where members can rest well knowing their corpse will be sold as bear chow and plastic flowers sent to the next of kin. Record numbers of dukes are now forgoing life insurance, opting instead for an informal agreement that a hat will be passed around when they die.

Is your life story worth telling? For a small fee you too can have our corruptible reporters write a special propaganda statement just for you!

Did we mis-quote an event? For a few gold to cover print now get a revised accurate addition printed.

[Castaras]

'K, 24 hours for rp, last minute distributions, and other such stuff.

[Jontom Xire]

Still got no gold and my payments don't seem to be getting bigger despite all this extra gold that seems to be being passed around.

[Castaras]

Bah. Note to self - always check that you posted here.

New year begins. Money will be sent out asap.

[Jontom Xire]

Hang on - I haven't had any gold from last year!

Haruki-kun - I expect a double dose this year because none was handed out last year.

[Psionic Dog]

What last year? This last year you speak of was the year after the rebellion.

I may not be Haruki-hun, but as a Duke I can tell you that the King has distributed no money since the last WEEKLY BARK installment. 'Last Year' began way back on 11-10-07, and 'this year' only began on 11-15-07, so payment hasn't skipped you. (Castaras, correct me if I'm wrong.)

And about those 158 gp PGCoD had? Please remember he was the richest individual in the game. We all, probably including KFC too, had less than that.

[Fleeing Coward]

There was a year between this one and when Purple rebelled. I had sent out bags of gold for that year to the dukes, maybe the messengers got lost?

[Jontom Xire]

What last year? This last year you speak of was the year after the rebellion.

I may not be Haruki-hun, but as a Duke I can tell you that the King has distributed no money since the last WEEKLY BARK installment. 'Last Year' began way back on 11-10-07, and 'this year' only began on 11-15-07, so payment hasn't skipped you. (Castaras, correct me if I'm wrong.)



What last year???




<<REBELLION TEXT REMOVED>>

The new year began, the sun bloodied by their constant strife and battle rising cold over the nightmarish landscape of war, death, and sushi.

(( PGCoD died, his province was eliminated. FC will get the next years money coming through in a sec. ))

This was on the 10th.



((Don't have much time so money distributed to Dukes/Duchesses at a rate 6gc per person in the Duchy + 2 gc. Leaving 9 gc for myself (125gc generated this year), 4 of those 9gc goes to making the 6 way split of Purple's gc an even one (27gc sent to each of the Dukes/Duchesses/Nobles that supported me).
Got exams for the next 2-3 days so I probably won't be on for that period. Opposing all rebellions should any arise.))

This was also on the 10th.



Bah. Note to self - always check that you posted here.

New year begins. Money will be sent out asap.

This was on the 15th.

Between the 10th and the 15th a whole year came and went. I got no gold.

That last year!!!

So I have 3 options:

1) Haruki-Kun convinces me (with support from others) that the king handed out no gold, the king makes no reparations and we rebel against him.

2) Haruki-kun refuses to pay me a double load (or doesn't respond) and I revolt against him.

3) Haruki-kun pays me a double load and everyone is happy and there is no revolution.

[Psionic Dog]

There was a year between this one and when Purple rebelled. I had sent out bags of gold for that year to the dukes, maybe the messengers got lost?

Ah, of course. *Waits impatiently for 2 years of gold*

*Reopens Rabble Rousers arobic center for everyone who couldn't possibly be considering option #1*

[Castaras]

Apologies for the delay, there was a mixup with the spreadsheet I was using.

24 hours for RP and stuff.

[Haruki-kun]

Lord Jontom Xire:

I assure you that I send out the Gold five minutes after I receive it. ((If you don't believe me, Ask Castaras.......))

However, I don't keep track of days, so yes, I am prone to not noticing if I'm not payed.

While you may rebel against me if you wish to, there is no point to it. I have fulfilled my duty completely.

[Fleeing Coward]

And I've paid the dukes every year as well so if any dukes/duchesses hasn't received pament for any year, the message probably just got lost in the system somewhere.

[Jontom Xire]

Well someone is lying. Or Castaras lost a day's gold.

I've only had a single year's gold, even though two year's gold has entered the system. If anyone else is in the same position, let us know. That way we have a better chance of figuring out if any shenanigans went on.

[Castaras]

I'll just say that I have recently gone through all the Ultimate Greed Pms to confirm the current gold people have.

I don't think there was a year where Fleeing Coward sent me a pm about gold without any dukes sending gold as well.

Actually, I'm 90% certain about it.

Although I can't currently say for sure, seeing as I'm not at my laptop with all the UG information.

The year will probably end in an hour or two.

[Castaras]

I'll just say that I have recently gone through all the Ultimate Greed Pms to confirm the current gold people have.

I don't think there was a year where Fleeing Coward sent me a pm about gold without any dukes sending gold as well.

Actually, I'm 90% certain about it.

Although I can't currently say for sure, seeing as I'm not at my laptop with all the UG information.

The year will probably end in an hour or two.

Right. There was no recognisable problem from this end, so it's all down to you lot arguing.

New year begins. Money being sent out.

[Jontom Xire]

Right. There was no recognisable problem from this end, so it's all down to you lot arguing.

New year begins. Money being sent out.

Thanks, NARRATOR, so that means that Fleeing Coward didn't send out gold then.

So if Fleeing Coward doesn't send out a double lot this year, then I for one will join, if not start, a revolution. And I expect Haruki Kun to fully inform me as to whether KFC does send a double lot or not and then expect to receive either full revolutionary support or double cash.

Also, can people PM me with whether they received gold in the "missing year" or not, or if they wish to support a potential revolution. Thanks.

I hope all those who supported against PGCoD received their rewards as promised.


Castaras, can we make sure this year lasts a little longer to ensure that all facts are sorted. The game will end if there isn't a revolution this year, and I currently am feeling like a revolution but want to be sure of my facts before starting one.

[Fleeing Coward]

Well I definately have sent out gold for the past 2 years although due to the exams I didn't send messages directly to the dukes. Think this is the year in question about whether gold had been paid or not:
http://img67.imageshack.us/img67/3562/ugpaymentrn0.jpg

Castaras can you please check again to see if you received this message? If not I'll send it out again with this year's payment.

[Castaras]

With that message I got answers from other dukes. So I'd say that it was given out.

[Fleeing Coward]

That's the year that Jontom Xire claimed to have received no gold so whatever the problem is, I suggest the nobles take it up with their dukes since I havn't missed paying the dukes for any of the years.

[Jontom Xire]

With that message I got answers from other dukes. So I'd say that it was given out.


In that case it is clear that Haruki Kun is responsible for the failure in my being paid. I am fully aware that this may be a cynical attempt by Haruki Kun to get me killed off by forcing me to revolt over the lack of his fulfilling his dukely duties. I have had no PMs giving me any information as to whether any other of Haruki Kun's nobles did not get paid. Nor have I had any information about whether any one else's nobles did or did not get paid. It may just be that everyone is inactive.

Nevertheless if our royal and fair and just king can be bothered to make the necessary posts, why can't Haruki Kun. And when found out, why did he try to shift the blame to the king instead of just owning up and paying a double amount the following year.

I am therefore forced to rebel against my duke, Haruki Kun.

[Fleeing Coward]

Another 3rd year rebellion? Guess this game just isn't going to end until everyone's dead :smalltongue:

The crown remains neutral in the rebellion until Haruki-kun gives his side of the story,

[Jontom Xire]

Another 3rd year rebellion? Guess this game just isn't going to end until everyone's dead :smalltongue:

The crown remains neutral in the rebellion until Haruki-kun gives his side of the story,


Haruki-kun has given his side of the story:


Lord Jontom Xire:

I assure you that I send out the Gold five minutes after I receive it. ((If you don't believe me, Ask Castaras.......))

However, I don't keep track of days, so yes, I am prone to not noticing if I'm not payed.

While you may rebel against me if you wish to, there is no point to it. I have fulfilled my duty completely.


However I got paid before the 10th;
Checked in a few days later to find there had been a rebellion and that I had missed out on a chance of PGCoD gold;
Checked in the next day having reasonably expected my gold to have arrived from Haruki Kun;
Waited a few more days for my gold to arrive before checking in again to find that the year had ended.

Castaras confirms KFC's story and PM screenshot, so it can only be that Haruki Kun missed a payment, a fact he denies.

[Psionic Dog]

Ah the tragedy, another the gold distribution misunderstanding. This follows the long tradition of solving disagreements by rebellion that has been such a part of the game since the early days of Pastafran, if not Traveling Angel. I admit this is an improvement over the "Let's rebel for the sake of rebelling" rebellions.

Haruki-kun has distributed gold every turn.

Jontom believes a payment was skipped.

Neither opposed my own just fight, so I have no grudges to repay. My army will remain neutral. For now.
Edit: Times have changed.

[Haruki-kun]

Is that so? Lord Jontom Xire?

Perhaps the people around here would like to know the dirty dealings you'e been having under the table, wouldn't they?

Friends, Jontom Xire has had the intention of rebelling against me ever since the game begun. I know so perfectly well. Why?

He tried to convinve me to cut out one of my dukes at the beginning of the game, Lord Magtok. I followed his advice, but eventually epaid Magtok when I realized he had been betrayed. Why?

Because I got a Message from a reliable source quoting HIS MESSAGE to said Source, which explicitly told this source to aid in a rebellion that was coming against me from not paying Magtok Well. Little did he know that Magtok was perfectly well paid, as were all the other people in my Dukedom.

Belief or Disbelief rests in you. I am glad I have finally let all of this out.

As such, I Stand against the rebellion agianst me, obviously, and encourage others to do the same.

I was hoping that our Dukedom would get through this greedy fight by sticking together, clearly, I was wrong.

((Oh, and........... I HAVE NOT BEEN PAID YET. Maybe THAT'S WHY!!!))

[Fleeing Coward]

So Lord Jontom Xire has been stirring trouble in the duchy even before this?
In that case, the crown shall support the status quo and Oppose the Rebellion

(Frankly, I trust Haruki Kun when he says that Jontom Xire has tried to cause trouble before so unless I get other nobles in his duchy also coming forward and saying they havn't been paid twice since the 10/11th of November, this will be my final position on the matter.))

((This year's gold hasn't been distributed yet because Jontom Xire started the rebellion before I had a chance to so I'd like to see what the dukes and nobles think about a new system aimed at stopping those rebellions about money distribution and hopely actually end the game on the third day this time.
Instead of just distributing to the dukes, I'll split the money evenly between each player from the sum generated and post it publicly in the forums each year so everyone'll know just how much has been paid to everyone. That way no one can really complain about having been treated unfairly as a reason for another rebellion and we can end this game that's dragged out way too long. Of course, the sums will not always be able to split evenly without some money been leftover so I'll just split what's leftover from each year between the 4 dukes to compensate for their loss of control in gold distribution.
So apart from the rebellion, I'd like to see what the other active players think about this plan, if no one likes it, I'll just distribute it to the dukes normally but I think this would be the best way to deter any future rebellions about people not getting paid.))

[Jontom Xire]

To Haruki-Kun:

Yes, at the beginning of the game, I did indulge in some underhand skullduggery, that being what this game was all about. However I never had any intention of rebelling against you. Instead I was trying to help you. I was a bit of a veteran at this game while you were new. I tried to offer some good advice. Yes that advice would have helped me as well as you, but that's what teamwork is all about. And skullduggery is what this game is all about. Imagine how boring it would be if the king always dished out the gold evenly and the dukes did the same and then after three years with no rebellions there was no winner and no losers because everyone had the same gold.

My advice to you was to pick one of your nobles and cut them out. It would have increased gold to you and all your nobles (following previous games' trends where dukes tended to get the same gold regardless of how many nobles they had). It was good advice intended with the best of intentions to help you. In this game nobles don't get much opportunity to do much. They're like the villagers in werewolf, just there to make up the numbers in a way. I've been a duke twice before and that's a lot more fun, and a lot more dangerous, caught between the possibility of the King cheating you above and greedy nobles below. I figured if I teamed up with you, the two of us against the rest, I would get some of that fun while helping us both to win.

As it was, this game got so boring that I stopped checking it for weeks on end, partly because I was so busy in so many other games as well. You kept paying me through all that time, and for that I am grateful. However I also think that was stupid of you. If our positions were swapped I would rightfully have cut you out of payments for not being an active player.

Now I am dead in most other games and can pay more attention to this one. And you missed paying me for one "year". So I am rebelling.

To KFC:

Your plan has to be the worst ever. Firstly, if you are honest about it, it removes all interest, and all purpose, from this game. Secondly if you are dishonest about it it gives you an easy win. Thirdly I think it is against the rules (sort of) which clearly state that you distribute gold to dukes and they to the nobles. Lastly you plan to give additional gold to dukes to compensate them for their lack of control is unfair on the nobles since we will never be able to accumulate more gold than the dukes.

To everyone:

It has been pointed out to me that if I win this rebellion I will be the richest person in the game. This is not true. Others have won rebellions, either against them or that they started. What happened to the gold they gained? In only one case that I have seen was it supposedly distributed amongst other players. (Castaras could you PM me with how much gold I do have please).

Anyway, those that support me in my rebellion will, if I win, be rewarded handsomely with gold from Haruki-kun's private stash. I'm not going to distribute it all to you, since it is only fair that I should have an even share of it for starting the rebellion. I'm fairly sure that Haruki-kun has more gold than I do, so even if Haruki-kun makes an equivalent counter-offer (which interestingly he didn't already do - obviously intent on keeping my gold to himself if he won), you will gain less by supporting him than supporting me.

[Fleeing Coward]

To Haruki-Kun:
To KFC:
Your plan has to be the worst ever. Firstly, if you are honest about it, it removes all interest, and all purpose, from this game. Secondly if you are dishonest about it it gives you an easy win. Thirdly I think it is against the rules (sort of) which clearly state that you distribute gold to dukes and they to the nobles. Lastly you plan to give additional gold to dukes to compensate them for their lack of control is unfair on the nobles since we will never be able to accumulate more gold than the dukes.


That's the whole point, almost everyone have lost interest in this game and it would have ended today had you not rebelled.
I figured that if I distributed the next 3 day's gold evenly, it will be the best way to avoid further rebellions about gold not been received so that the game can end already.
As for the rules part, technically it's legal since I'll be giving the dukes money and the rest can be bribes, donations, tax refunds or whatever you want to call it.

[Psionic Dog]

Please support me. I'll try to remember to pay you an unspecified amount.
You know, its funny that that was the same thing PGCoD said to me on his first rebellion. It wasn't so funny that I didn't recieve a single coin. :smallannoyed:

I Oppose The Rebellion!

[GoC]

I oppose the rebellion due to dislike of JX's underhand dealings at the start of the game.

[Jontom Xire]

And how am I to specify the amount if I don't know how much gold Haruki-kun has for me to distribute, or how many people I will have to distribute it between?

Be fair. Except that you and I both know that that's just an excuse because I didn't accept your mercenary offer to support me in return for 10 gold, no questions asked. Which 10 gold, once paid, may or may not have garnered me your support. And even if it had got me your support probably wouldn't have guaranteed my winning. Instead I offered gold on the condition that I won.

I wonder how many other rebellion losers you have accepted gold from, supported, and then quietly walked away with the proceeds when they lost. All handled in PMs so no-one else suspected you were making a nice tidy earner.

So, time for an election speech.

If you support me and I win this rebellion, I promise not to squander gold on people who are not active. How would you like to lose out to someone who hasn't even posted for weeks, just because they had a bit of luck near the beginning and then your duke kept paying them even though they were no longer playing? How would you like to be fairly rewarded for the assistance you offer your friends and allies? How would you like a game where everyone doesn't get the same gold, instead people are given money on the basis of ability? Out with Communism. Out with the bland boring story of everyone getting the same gold. How can you win when everyone earns the same? Let's have scheming and secrecy and a chance for YOU to win!

If you support me I promise to shake this game up and make it FUN again! Everyone wants it to end because they're tired of it! It's grown boring! But it's still a good game at heart, and can still be just as fresh now as when it first started! Support me and let's have FUN!

Support for Haruki-kun is support for a boring game that will end soon. You probably won't win and will wonder why you ever played. You probably won't play in the next game. Support for Haruki-kun is support for boredom and equality. Stuff that. Don't YOU want to win?

Support for me is to make a new game of this tired old game and have fun. Support for me ensures a future of fun and exciting games of rebellion. Support for me will set a precedent that it's ok to not be completely open and honest about all transactions so that the game ends in a dead even draw.

And I will pay you gold. How much depends on how much support you offer, how much you encourage others to liven up this game and support me. I won't pay you all the same. I will undoubtedly keep more for myself than I give to any other individual player. Yes I will, because I want to win too, don't you?

I suspect KFC has been skimming off the top since the start. If he pays everyone the same but pays himself just a few gold extra each year then he ends up with just a little more than anyone else and no-one knows and no-one suspects. The amounts are too small to be detected. Fair play to the man. He deserves to win having played an excellent game. But you might be able to beat him. But not if the game ends here and now. Your only chance to win is to support me.

[Jontom Xire]

I oppose the rebellion due to dislike of JX's underhand dealings at the start of the game.

Sheep. I doubt you are in any position to win but you'ld rather maintain the status quo and go quietly into that long sleep than fight and get a chance to win. So I say again, SHEEP!

[heretic]

I oppose the rebellion and all future rebellions

And furthermore, I denounce JX for ruining the perfect rebellionless record our duchy had prior to this ill-fated attempt. May Hades devour your soul.

[Moff Chumley]

Well, my nobles have long since stopped posting, so I see absolutely no reason to pay them a cent. :smallcool:

In other news, I oppose the rebbelion because Jontom Xire made a Pink Floyd/George Orwell reference. Not that that's inherently bad, you see, but... :smallconfused:

[Fleeing Coward]

Nice to know Duke Moff, I now see no reason to pay you more than what's needed to support yourself :smallbiggrin:

(I know you're not the only duke doing this but you really shouldn't have admitted it anyways)

[Castaras]

In other news, I oppose the rebbelion because Jontom Xire made a Pink Floyd/George Orwell reference. Not that that's inherently bad, you see, but... :smallconfused:

The narrator wanders over to Duke Moff's castle, and quickly replaces all music there with Pink Floyd discs. She then disappears again, whistling.


(( And I'll give you all 48 hours to sort things out. Things look complicated. :smalleek: ))

[DarkCorax]

I'm going to Oppose the Rebellion, for the time, but I might sway later.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

My ghost floats down to Psionic Dog

Might I remind you that any and all gold you would have received from me was conditional of me actually winning the rebellion, as was the gold I would have given all my supporters.

I then float over to heretic. Ha ha, you wanted things to end, and I ruined your plans. Mwhaa ha haaaaaa. Looks like I started something, he he he he he.....that is all

[heretic]

And you're dead and I'm alive...looks like I have a much better chance of winning than you...

[Moff Chumley]

The narrator wanders over to Duke Moff's castle, and quickly replaces all music there with Pink Floyd discs. She then disappears again, whistling.




Thank you. There are maybe two bootlegs that I do not yet own... :smallcool:

[Castaras]

"Hello, and welcome to todays news.

"Our top stories this afternoon:

"Noble Wadledo has once again been arrested for running around without any pants on. This is the fifteenth time in two months this strange occurrence has occurred.

"Noble Heretic is said to have gone insane, arguing with himself. He claims that it is the ghost of the old Duke Purple Gelatinous Cube of Doom."

"Jontom Xire, Noble of Haruki-kun's lands, rebelled against his duke. Did it succeed? Did it not? Let's go to our reporter, Cassius, at the scene."

"Well, Cassie, seems that this noble hasn't gained much support. Eloquent in his words, and lengthy in his speeches, Jontom didn't win over the supporters, seeing as most sided with the Duke Haruki-kun, although a few stayed neutral. So we can now see that Jontom lost the rebellion, and the defending duke, Haruki-Kun won. As you can see behind me, the crowd are roaring for the blood of the rebelling noble. Some even seem to be complaining that the game is going on too long - conspiracy theorists? Or is there an element of truth to it?

"Anyway, the crowd are running to the house of Xire, and are trying to get in. And here comes Jontom now and...ouch. Maybe we should go back to you in the laptop studio, Cassie...seems to be getting violent."

"Heheh. Anyway, I've had information come in to those involved, that a new year is about to begin, but let's go ask Duke Haruki-kun who he wants to be execute- Oh, wait. Something coming in. Seems that only Jontom was on Jontom's side, so it is logically Jontom who is executed.

"Which means that, for those involved, a new year begins. His royal highness Fleeing Coward has said that once the money comes in for the year, he will distribute it.

"And that's all for today. Tune in at an unspecified time and date for the next PUG news.

"Thanks for watching, and byebye."

[Psionic Dog]

*Gasp*
The Weekly Bark has competition! :smalltongue:

[Haruki-kun]

Ours is no longer the only complete dukedom anymore.............

Sad........

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

REBEL! Rebel, you rapscallions!

Do it now, while they are both undignified and incredulous!

[Fleeing Coward]

((Double dose of money for this year and last year will be distributed once I've finished my dinner, been a long day at work and need some food in me first.))

EDIT: Money Distributed.

[Castaras]

Right. Anybody here?

Because if you are here, there's 24 hours left for stuff.

[Fleeing Coward]

Just me planning on not paying any of my dukes on the year after next to extend this dead game 3 more years.

[Castaras]

Heheh.

Yeah...game is dragging on quite a bit.

May need to open up a thread for things to improve this game. 'Cos I think it needs lots of improvement...Starting with a better and more reliable narrator...<.< >.>

[Fleeing Coward]

The narrator's done a great job considering how long this game has dragged out. I blame that idiot king and the lack of serious leadership contenders.
He should have been overthrown ages ago for fresh leadership with new and better ideas that rewards creative accounting and mass embezzlement. Now that everyone's been bored into a comatose state, our only hope is someone to coming up with a campaign full of promises that they can't keep to overthrow the status quo.

[Psionic Dog]

Heheh.

Yeah...game is dragging on quite a bit.

May need to open up a thread for things to improve this game. 'Cos I think it needs lots of improvement...Starting with a better and more reliable narrator...<.< >.>

Don't blame ourself. You've done a good job. All the serious rebellions were sorted out many turns ago (remember the years of unending rebellion when we celebrated the rare year of peace?)


Personally, I blame our KFC and Haruki-kun for the lack of rebellions. HK for opposing any and all rebellions universally, KFC for ruling with an iron fist. He's crushed rebellion's before they even started as the late Raiser Blade can testify.

No, any new rebellions will be caused by nobles. Like if a hypothetical king happened to not pay the dukes. And if the nobles of said dukes marked against said theoretical king lead by the head of their Duke. (On body or on pike)

Which reminds me, when can I expect this year's paycheck?

EDIT: Oh, that's right. *Waits for narrator*
EDIT EDIT: Opps, I thought a new year had just started. :smallredface:

[Fleeing Coward]

You already have this year's paycheck. I sent the payments to our lovely narrator as well as to each Duke personally so I'd suggest that our dear duke stop trying to withhold the gold especially considering that the nobles shall decide how much the Dukes and King gets paid next year.

EDIT: 75gc worth in fact (I welcome all leadership challenges but at least come up with some reason that I can't easily disprove :smallbiggrin: )

[Psionic Dog]

That much! Really? :smallbiggrin:

Waaaait a moment. Personal message to all dukes... That's the 'two year's in one, that you sent out last post, isn't it?

Sorry about the gold payment demand thingy. I thought when Castaras posted that 24 hours left thing that you had just received my hard working province's latest load of tax payments to be re-distributed.

I'm just looking out for my nobles like a good duke should. That gold was distributed to them days ago.:smallsmile:

Oh, you may want to remove that payment post above. Gold complaints have a tendency to start revolts.

[Castaras]

*Didn't forget, honest*

Year ends. New year begins.

*runs around screaming, throwing gold everywhere*

[Moff Chumley]

Moff, hoping nobody will notice, quitly chucks his nobles in the dungeon and replaces them with human puppets.

[Haruki-kun]

Don't blame ourself. You've done a good job. All the serious rebellions were sorted out many turns ago (remember the years of unending rebellion when we celebrated the rare year of peace?)


Personally, I blame our KFC and Haruki-kun for the lack of rebellions. HK for opposing any and all rebellions universally, KFC for ruling with an iron fist. He's crushed rebellion's before they even started as the late Raiser Blade can testify.

No, any new rebellions will be caused by nobles. Like if a hypothetical king happened to not pay the dukes. And if the nobles of said dukes marked against said theoretical king lead by the head of their Duke. (On body or on pike)

Which reminds me, when can I expect this year's paycheck?

EDIT: Oh, that's right. *Waits for narrator*
EDIT EDIT: Opps, I thought a new year had just started. :smallredface:


At first I supported one or two rebellions. By now, I just want to kill any noble or Duke who rebels on the third year just to keep the game going longer. We're all happy! We're all getting paid! We kicked out haf the players!

So let's find out who won already!!!!!!

BTW: I'm assuming I'm supposed to distribute those 75 GC?

I missed it because there was no PM, but still........

Am I missing any Gold Distributions?

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

The narrator's done a great job considering how long this game has dragged out. I blame that idiot king and the lack of serious leadership contenders.
He should have been overthrown ages ago for fresh leadership with new and better ideas that rewards creative accounting and mass embezzlement. Now that everyone's been bored into a comatose state, our only hope is someone to coming up with a campaign full of promises that they can't keep to overthrow the status quo.

I would have rebelled long ago had I not been slaughtered in my (admittably comfortable) underwear by that fool of a king!

Rebel! Bring down the tyrant! Rise up, you little angels! Mount your horses! Draw your swords!

Destroy Unicron! Kill the Grand Poobah! Eliminate Even The Toughest Stains!

I mean it. Cut off supplies to his castle. Do it now, before he has time to produce an heir!

[Haruki-kun]

Why us, little Angels? :smalltongue:

Seriously, though.......... Nobles of mine, you HAVE been paid, right?

I am REALLY absent-minded........

[Fleeing Coward]

Who let that ghost goblin into my lands? I made it very clear that noone is to disturb me or cause trouble until after I escape with all my embezzled gold.

The chicken continues counting his coins.

I knew I shouldn't have trusted Akbar's Invisible Walls (definately not just thin air)

((Money distributed))

[Psionic Dog]

Ok, I admit I was a bit trigger happy and jumped the gun on the gold a few days back, (oops) but I'm pretty sure this time gold really has been distributed. This is a distressing thought because I haven't seen any of it, and I really want to pay my nobles ASAP.

Have any of the other dukes gotten gold yet or has KFC embezzled it all?

[Fleeing Coward]

I definately distributed the gold Psionic Dog, don't know why you havn't received it. I'll PM you the amount of gold you received for this year again.

[Psionic Dog]

Thank you generous king, the Psilands thank you.

The message must have gotten lost in the holiday postal rush.:smallsmile:

[Haruki-kun]

Castaras lives in the UK. When you wrote those messages, it was like 1 in the morning for her.......... That's probably why we haven't gotten the money yet..........

[Castaras]

Castaras lives in the UK. When you wrote those messages, it was like 1 in the morning for her.......... That's probably why we haven't gotten the money yet..........

^ He's got it.

Sending out pms to other people now.

Dukes will then have twenty four hours to send out their hard-earned gold to the mugs nobles.

[Castaras]

Been more than 24 hours, apologies for that.

So will be less than 24 hours before the next year.

[Castaras]

Errm...Did I say less than 24 hours? I meant to say less than 24 days. Honest. >.> <.<

New year begineth. Moneyeth beeth distributedeth.

[wadledo]

I use a belt sander on somebody's head.
Specifically someone who doesn't post within the next 23 hours.

[Fleeing Coward]

Had to work the whole day, just came back, money will be distributed soon.

EDIT: Money distributed, just trying something a little different to end this game.

[Jontom Xire]

Don't blame ourself. You've done a good job. All the serious rebellions were sorted out many turns ago (remember the years of unending rebellion when we celebrated the rare year of peace?)


Personally, I blame our KFC and Haruki-kun for the lack of rebellions. HK for opposing any and all rebellions universally, KFC for ruling with an iron fist. He's crushed rebellion's before they even started as the late Raiser Blade can testify.

No, any new rebellions will be caused by nobles. Like if a hypothetical king happened to not pay the dukes. And if the nobles of said dukes marked against said theoretical king lead by the head of their Duke. (On body or on pike)

Which reminds me, when can I expect this year's paycheck?

EDIT: Oh, that's right. *Waits for narrator*
EDIT EDIT: Opps, I thought a new year had just started. :smallredface:


Permission to say told you so. But you all sided against me.

[Fleeing Coward]

You're the one that decided to rebel without the numbers. At this point of the game when everyone just wanted it to end and see who has won you never were likely to get those numbers.
My money's on Moff Chumley for the win, he claims to have over 300gc hoarded and I don't see how any of the other dukes with active nobles could have more than that (except for maybe Artemis97).

[Psionic Dog]

My money's on Moff Chumley for the win, he claims to have over 300gc hoarded and I don't see how any of the other dukes with active nobles could have more than that (except for maybe Artemis97).

*Looks at his 1gp* (That KFC gave him this round)

Nope. Don't have that much.

Ehem,
To commemorate the final year of our greedy benevolent rule, a final Weekly Bark addition will be rolling off the press tomorrow. Given the deplorable state of the Bark's treasury, the traditional fundraiser of selling propaganda and advertisements is again being offered. Dukes and nobles who need to atone for immoral embezzlements or who wish to buy a spot in history that their meager treasuries would not automatically offer are all invited to help fund the Psilands.


Why do I ever bother, no one buys these things anyway. Might as well start activating the CSFD and offend everyone.

[GoC]

I give 8gp to Haruki-kun!

[Castaras]

Right.

You all have until around Sunday 20:00 GMT to have last minute bribes, last minute banter, last minute roleplay, etc. etc.

[Exachix]

Exachix's fox-ghost re-appears to see the proceedings.

[Haruki-kun]

I give 8gp to Haruki-kun!

:smalleek:

*Hugs the noble*

But isn't that too much to share? You'll probably want to keep some for yourself, you know........

[Psionic Dog]

WEEKLY BARK
Twenty-One Years of Headline News
Commemorative Edition


PEASANTS HOPE FOR PEACE
— As the the twenty first year of KFC's rule opened with the promise of peace, the commoners of the land have begun making plans for a grand celebration to commemorate surviving twenty years under the Iron fist of the new King. For twenty years after the lamented Death of Her Majesty, whom Fleeing Cowerd definately did not poison, the lands of Gwynedd have been racked by treachery and destruction that have sent 11 dukes and nobles to an early death, 2 more into early retirement, and an entire dukedom rendered a barren wasteland. Casualties have been high among the nobles, and higher still among the dukes. 36% of the nobles at the time of the Queen's death have died as well as have 60% of the original dukes. In fact, only Haruki-kun remains as an original Duke.
—Incidentally, nobles of Haruki-kun have professed gratitude for the stability they have enjoyed and are sending lavish gifts of thanks. So far this appears to have happened only in the Kun provence.

REMEMBRANCE DAY INFORMALLY DECLARED
—To celebrate the demise of the tyrants of the twenty year terror and to commemorate the fall of those who heroically helped to remove them, a peace fair will be held outside of the ruins of Traveling Angel's old palace. All Nobles and Dukes still living are invited to attend. KFC has been helpfully volunteered to entertain the restless spirits of those departed so that those who attend the Fair of Remembrance will not be unnaturally disturbed. Should the stress prove to great for the King, the people of the land have graciously volunteered to mark his passing in the same fashion that KFC morned the old Queen. (Obituaries listed on page 2)

In celebration of the survivors we remember the departed:
Duke Traveling_Angel: Sucided in the 1st year of KFC to avoid the slicing and dicing righteous armies led by Raiser B1ade.

Duke Pastfarian: Eaten in the 2nd year of KFC by his own starved nobles led by Psionic Dog.

Noble/Duke Raiser B1ade: Executed in the 3rd year of KFC after he, in a senior moment, forgot to pack his army when marching to war against the King.

Noble Stu42: Butchered in the 5th year of KFC for forcefully demanding extra cake in a year of hardship.

Noble Exachix: Choked on Sushi in the 8th year of KFC.

Duke Calamity: This Dark Duke spontaneously combusted in the 8th year of KFC while attempting to become a Devil in order to spread terror among his people more effectively.

Noble/Duke Pwenet: This beloved scribe retired in the 10th year of KFC after finnaly being overwhelmed by royal duties in his 7th year as Duke.

Noble Khaldan: Died in the Arena in the 11th year of KFC while fighting PGCOD for the right of succession following Pwenet's retirement.

The Noble/Duke I'm Da Rogue: Suffered a mental breakdown in the 12th year of KFC after spending 4 years working to repair the damage caused by Calamity.

Duke Almighty Salmon: Jumped out of the frying pan into the fire in the 13th year of KFC.

Noble Lord Fullbladder: Permanently relieved of his discomfort and head in the 13th year of KFC for treason.

Noble/Duke: PGCOD: Divided and conquered in the 15th year of KFC after attempting to assimilate the crown.

Noble Jontom Xire: Stoned by pasificits in the 18th year of KFC for disturbing the peace.

All told 11 rebellions have occurred, 36% of them successful.
Only 18 of the original 31 members of nobility still reside inside the kingdom.
On average each duke has ruled for 9.3 years.



KING GIVES MONEY DIRECTLY TO NOBLES
—In a continuation of his eccentric financial polices, the King has seen fit to distribute the money directly to the nobles. This has had the distrubing effect of causing the rabble to question the benefit of having Dukes, or even a King rule over them. Rumor has it that a new form of government called a "Demockitry" is being proposed. The change this seems to suggest has caused much of the nobility to quietly investigate retirement options and emergency treasury evacuation plans.


History of Gwynedd Now Available! See Bark Archives.(Small upkeep donations requested)

1st Bark Edition (1th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3147569&postcount=116)

2nd Bark Edition (2nd year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3153125&postcount=188)

3rd Bark Edition (3th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3162891&postcount=354)

4th Bark Edition (5th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3201066&postcount=465)

5th Bark Edition (8th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3244062&postcount=588)

6th Bark Edition (9th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3258792&postcount=639)

7th Bark Edition (11th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3366142&postcount=733)

8th Bark Edition (16th year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3506536&postcount=825)

Tragedy of Pastafran Balled (2nd year of KFC) (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3156250&postcount=256)

Advertising (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showpost.php?p=3389839&postcount=738)

[Moff Chumley]

Yay. I think I'm gonna win. And there is nothing you can do to stop me... Mwahaha. :smalltongue:

[Fleeing Coward]

Sure there is, just need you to call a rebellion against the monarchy and drag this out again at the last minute :smallbiggrin:

[Haruki-kun]

Do that and I will go very un-angelic on you......

[Moff Chumley]

Why, exactly, would I do that? :smallconfused:

[Castaras]

*runs in*

Crap. I won't have time tonight to create the trophies for this, or to do much, actually.

So the game will end tomorrow. Any pms sent to me, I'll try and reply to tonight. Just give me a little time. Which I don't have enough of. :smalleek:

[GoC]

:smalleek:

*Hugs the noble*

But isn't that too much to share? You'll probably want to keep some for yourself, you know........

Heh.:smallamused:

[Psionic Dog]

At last! The game ends and the scores are being tallied.

We now see which King/Duke has embezzled the most, which nobles have squeezed the most out of their Dukes, and which Dukedomes as a whole have claimed the biggest piece of the Gwyneddian Pie.


Moff thinks he is King MoneyBags.
I think (or rather hope) the Psilands have the greatest total net worth.
Does anyone think they are Mr. Broke?

[Haruki-kun]

I think I might be able to not end up in Last Place. :smallbiggrin:

[Fleeing Coward]

I think I'll claim Mr. Broke, those contractors are charging me by the day for castle upgrades that should have been done months ago :smallbiggrin:

[GoC]

*runs in*

Crap. I won't have time tonight to create the trophies for this, or to do much, actually.

So the game will end tomorrow. Any pms sent to me, I'll try and reply to tonight. Just give me a little time. Which I don't have enough of. :smalleek:

When will we know who won?

[Castaras]

*mutters about the downing of the forums on one of the two free days she has this week...*

Okay then. The game has ended, and the people of the kingdom are at peace once again.

Fleeing Coward, righteous king in the eyes of the peasants, rules for many more years, this time through peace. The kingdom thrives underneath is rule, becoming an economic powerhouse, respected throughout the world.

But, there was the consideration by the historians, many years later: Who was the richest by the end of this? Who survived in the end? Who died?

Through their calculations, they found that Almighty Salmon, Exachix, Calamity, I'm Da Rogue!, Lord Fullbladder, Jontom Xire, Pastafarian, Traveling_Angel, Raiser_B1ade, Pwenet, Purple Gelatinous Cube O' Doom, Stu42, and Khaldan all died. But they still deserved to be remembered.
http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/8173/ultimategreeddeathwd7.png
So some special trophies were created just for these people, to be placed within their graves.

But the survivors shouldn't be forgotten either:-

Moff Chumley
Fualkner Asiniti
PirateMonk
detrevnisisiht
Artemis97
nathkry
HyramGraff
Haruki-Kun
Therade
GoC
Lord Magtok
Heretic
Psionic Dog
Neodan282
DarkCorax
Flying Elephant
wadledo
http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/859/ultimategreedsurvivalvb5.png
The nobles, old and decrepit now, were led to the gates, handed the trophies to show how despite all the rebellions occurred, they lived.

But some may notice how Fleeing Coward was not on that list.

There is a reason for this.

He ended the game, and through much embezzlement, trickery, and cunning, he turned out top dog.

So congratulations to him.
http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/7006/ultimategreedwinot8.png

----

(( *reads through what she wrote last night* Dude...what the hell did I just write? o.O ))

Anyway. We finally got to the end of this game! WOOO! :cool:

A new thread for improvements and such will be up in a sec. Give me a few moments.

[Exachix]

Whoo!!

Well done! Fleeting Coward! Well done all!

[Almighty Salmon]

Curse you Sushi King! Next time victory will be mine!

[Haruki-kun]

Ne, ne........ what place are we in? :smallbiggrin:

I don't even know how much gold I ended up with.....

[DarkCorax]

Whey... I expected as much...

How much did each person get? Infact I don't know how much I got...

[Exachix]

Oh..

And thanks to Castaras for running this game, and spending time to write up all =D.

[Fleeing Coward]

Hehe, I only ended up with 459gc without counting detrevnisisiht's contributions, nice game all, glad it finally ended.
Thanks to Castaras for running this and finding the time to write it all up even though it lasted alot longer than some of us expected.

[Haruki-kun]

Thank you, Cassie for running this game!

I can now show off the "I survived" trophy!

[Psionic Dog]

459 gp... :smalleek: I knew the king had the best opportunity to embezzle, but that much? Couldn't you have slipped the poor pitiful begging doggy Duke a bit more?

I doubt I embezzled much more than 250, if that. :smallsmile:

Well, thanks Castaras for running this for us. If you have time, please post each person's official total so we can compare with each other.

@ DarkCorax: Well, I almost always paid you at least 6gp, so say 7gp x 18 years paying you + KFC's 8 + Pastafran's + Bribes, so 150 gp would probably be a good guess unless you got very fat bribes.

[GoC]

Hehe, I only ended up with 459gc without counting detrevnisisiht's contributions, nice game all, glad it finally ended.
Thanks to Castaras for running this and finding the time to write it all up even though it lasted alot longer than some of us expected.

*glares an "I told you so" at Haruki-Kun*
But he didn't believe me...:smallyuk:

[Haruki-kun]

*glares an "I told you so" at Haruki-Kun*
But he didn't believe me...:smallyuk:

Yeah, well.......... he played a good game, didn't he?

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

FC, you are a sneaky lying sob. When I revolted you whined and complained about how little gold you had, yet you won the game. I find that quite ironic. Although, if I had won the rebellion, I might have won in your stead. I don't recall how much gold I had when I died, but I do believe it wasn't close to that.

[GoC]

Was I the only one who that KFC was lying?:smallconfused:

[Fleeing Coward]

Well technically, I didn't really lie much apart from the occasional I gave away all my gold routine. All the screenshots were genuine and I did actually run a deficit on those years and kept nothing for myself but I took a reasonable chunk of the gold when the economy was good to make up for those years and keep myself in the game
As for my victory I couldn't have done it without the timely help of Almighty Salmon, Purple and Jontom Xire with their last minute rebellions. Up until those 3 rebellions I didn't have that gold compared with the others but seeing that everyone's gotten bored of the game by that point, I made my move.
Promising Artemis97 Lord Fullbladder's position as Duke ensured me her support against Almighty Salmon and executing Lord Fullbladder got me a nice sum well over 50gc (misplaced that message so don't know exact amount). It was from there that I started building up my stash.
Looking at the records, the years after Lord Fullbladder's execution netted me:
28gc from 170gc
15gc from 145gc
10gc from 120gc (Purple Rebels)
5gc from 125gc (Been cautious there in case anyone asks for proof that I distributed all Purple's gc)
55gc from 165gc
(Jontom Xire rebels before I have chance to hand out gold)
102gc from 305gc (Combined 2 year total)
90gc from 200gc
11gc from 120gc (Final Year)

As you can see from that, before the execution of Lord Fullbladder I had well under 100 gc and it really was anyone's game. After Lord Fullbladder's execution though, I saw my chance and took it, accumulating 196gc at Purple's Rebellion, 256gc before the year's distribution when Jontom Xire rebelled and 459gc to finish the game off.

[Haruki-kun]

Jontom Xire played a good game too, I admit. But the crucial mistake for him was that this game only works if your dirty dealings are done under the table. Rebelling against the one you're dealing with would clearly knock the table over.

The truth is, GoC, I was pretty sure I was gonna win. Why? Well, I inherited 30 GC of a certain someone's fortune after that person's death. A secret fortune I was not willing to share.

Unfortunately, I used up 14 GC to pay someone for his support against Jontom Xire....... :smallannoyed:

[Fleeing Coward]

You might have had a chance too if things didn't go the way they did. I probably wouldn't have taken as much from the final years if Jontom hadn't complained about not receiving gold and GoC didn't tell me about his plans to give all his gold away at the end (I naturally assumed that he'd give away most if not all of it to you).

[GoC]

You might have had a chance too if things didn't go the way they did. I probably wouldn't have taken as much from the final years if Jontom hadn't complained about not receiving gold and GoC didn't tell me about his plans to give all his gold away at the end (I naturally assumed that he'd give away most if not all of it to you).

Me and my big mouth.:smallmad:

[Castaras]

{table=head]Players|Power Level|Gold
Fleeing Coward|10|459
Fualkner Asiniti|2|64
PirateMonk|5|83
Moff Chumley|6|265
detrevnisisiht|4|79
Artemis97|8|350
nathkry|1|60
HyramGraff|4|59
Haruki-Kun|9|373
Jontom Xire|4|98
Therade|4|97
GoC|3|0
Lord Magtok|3|92
Heretic|4|127
Psionic Dog|7|172
Neodan282|4|91
DarkCorax|2|86
Flying Elephant|4|98
wadledo|5|83[/table]

These were the numbers I got at the end. :smallsmile:

Edit: Oops..forgot to add the power levels of the dead...one sec.
There we are.

{table=head]Player|Power Level
Almighty Salmon|5
Exachix|5
Calamity|8
I'm Da Rogue!|6
Artemis97|8
Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins|6
Jontom Xire|4
Pastafarian|6
Traveling_Angel|7
Raiser_B1ade|5
Stu42|1
Khaldan|4
Pwenet|7
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom|7[/table]

[DarkCorax]

Power Level 2!! :smallfrown:
Ahh well, thanks Castaras, good game even if it dragged out too long.

[Castaras]

Don't blame me for the power levels, blame the dice roller. :smalltongue:

Improvements thread is up! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66310)

[Haruki-kun]

Well, I really hate myself at this point!

9!!!! I didn't know I was practically deciding rebellions!!!! I should've just kicked out KFC.................

Oh well. I won second place. :smallbiggrin:

[GoC]

Well, I really hate myself at this point!

9!!!! I didn't know I was practically deciding rebellions!!!! I should've just kicked out KFC.................

Oh well. I won second place. :smallbiggrin:

Thanks to me.:smalltongue:

[GoC]

Well, I really hate myself at this point!

9!!!! I didn't know I was practically deciding rebellions!!!! I should've just kicked out KFC.................
If only someone had mentioned that...:smallamused:


Oh well. I won second place. :smallbiggrin:

Thanks to me.:smalltongue: