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Santra
2018-03-21, 09:19 PM
I recently had a conversation with a player about how most of the cleric domains would not give very useful things (outside of spellcasting) to a cleric that was not some sort of adventurer. They then went on to bring up settings with tons of very minor deities that have more to do with the day to day life of people than adventurers.

This is my answer to that player. Any comments or help would be appreciated.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O_iB3GisUuOo6IthChScexVf9hK3eYWZMd327Q3eya4/edit?usp=sharing

Argothair
2018-03-22, 02:55 AM
So I think you're filling a cool niche, and the theme is spot on. You've done a clever job of imagining various small village gods and what some of their effects might be. I think the mechanical abilities are a bit scattershot, and some of them are overpowered or not obviously related to the theme. For an example of what I mean by "not related to the theme," consider your capstone:

Protection of the Village
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Other than the fact that you're helping allies, this ability has absolutely nothing to do with hearths, villages, or domestic life. There's nothing particularly 'protective' or 'villagey' about "Protection of the Village." It works just as well for Knowledge (Nature) as it does for stabbing soldiers with a battleaxe or resisting the effects of a Prismatic Spray. The ability would work just as well with some other title or theme. For instance:

Wisdom of Poseidon
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Power of the Demon Lord
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Knowledge of the Archbishop
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

They all work, which means that none of them really work. I'd suggest going back through your list and seeing how you can tie the abilities more closely to the theme.

One more comment for now: the ability to craft a simple charm that removes all exhaustion for an entire party of adventurers on a long rest is probably overpowered, and it's not clear what that power has to do with a windmill. Maybe require that the party be resting *at* a windmill or water mill for the exhaustion to be lifted? I might also require them to eat some bread that was milled at that windmill. So if you're taking a long rest within 200 feet of a windmill or water mill, then each character who eats fresh bread baked from flour ground at that mill *and* takes a long rest gets to remove all levels of exhaustion while the charm is active. That would help symbolize the sense of "truly being at home" in a calm and civilized area. Just crafting a rough-hewn wooden charm in the wilderness shouldn't have the same effect.

thegreatone5224
2018-03-22, 10:34 AM
Great job!

I really like the idea of this archetype. It feels nice and homey to. I do, more or less, agree with the previous posters comments.

Santra
2018-03-22, 03:32 PM
So I think you're filling a cool niche, and the theme is spot on. You've done a clever job of imagining various small village gods and what some of their effects might be. I think the mechanical abilities are a bit scattershot, and some of them are overpowered or not obviously related to the theme. For an example of what I mean by "not related to the theme," consider your capstone:

Protection of the Village
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Other than the fact that you're helping allies, this ability has absolutely nothing to do with hearths, villages, or domestic life. There's nothing particularly 'protective' or 'villagey' about "Protection of the Village." It works just as well for Knowledge (Nature) as it does for stabbing soldiers with a battleaxe or resisting the effects of a Prismatic Spray. The ability would work just as well with some other title or theme. For instance:

Wisdom of Poseidon
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Power of the Demon Lord
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

Knowledge of the Archbishop
At 17th level you can use a bonus action on your turn to grant all allies you can see within 60' of you supernatural guidance. Until the start of your next turn when that creature makes an attack roll, ability check, or save they gain additional 1d4 to the roll.

They all work, which means that none of them really work. I'd suggest going back through your list and seeing how you can tie the abilities more closely to the theme.

One more comment for now: the ability to craft a simple charm that removes all exhaustion for an entire party of adventurers on a long rest is probably overpowered, and it's not clear what that power has to do with a windmill. Maybe require that the party be resting *at* a windmill or water mill for the exhaustion to be lifted? I might also require them to eat some bread that was milled at that windmill. So if you're taking a long rest within 200 feet of a windmill or water mill, then each character who eats fresh bread baked from flour ground at that mill *and* takes a long rest gets to remove all levels of exhaustion while the charm is active. That would help symbolize the sense of "truly being at home" in a calm and civilized area. Just crafting a rough-hewn wooden charm in the wilderness shouldn't have the same effect.
Woops that last ability should have been "Guidance of the Elders". I guess I hadn't changed it from my notes. Its supposed to be the cleric granting the knowledge of ancient village leaders to their allies. I also changed charm of the mill to only remove one extra level of exhaustion. I wasn't sure if removing them all was broken or not since most parties rarely encounter exhaustion as a mechanic beyond a few rare circumstances.

The charm crafting is supposed to represent the cleric blessing wooden holy symbols of various gods/aspects of gods and asking for their gifts. I left it vague for players and DM's to fluff it as they wish. I also intentionally left out any requirements on the charms such as "if they rest at a mill" because I don't want to place unnecessary requirements on the powers so they are a little less situational (than they already are).

I see what you mean about the themes though. I am going to rework names. I am also not super happy with the level 6 power but I cant think of a good replacement.