Help needed to write random babblings for a wacky mystic

[Jon_Dahl]

Hello!

I would like to have a collection of phrases that a sort of Buddhist-type mystic would say. He has starved himself in order to find the Truth (no one understands what this means) and lives on a top of a giant oak tree. His only function is to say mysterious things that should not be overinterpreted by the players. He doesn't engage in any type of conversation with anyone.

Would you like to give me phrases that he could say, please?

[Malimar]

Consider browsing the Ice Cream Koan page over on TVtRopes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/IceCreamKoan).

[Mordaedil]

I recommend the various things mentioned in Tom Waits "What's he building" video, in between the title call.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMqxNPsfN50

[mabriss lethe]

Intersperse liberally with Lu-Tze's quotes from the Way of Mrs. Cosmopolite from the Discworld novels.

[ComaVision]

When I need that sort of thing, I like to mash two proverbs together. It usually sounds juuuust wise enough to make the players wonder if it's important and what it could mean.

[Malimar]

When I need that sort of thing, I like to mash two proverbs together. It usually sounds juuuust wise enough to make the players wonder if it's important and what it could mean.
Oooh, ooh, this reminds me of that time somebody ran a bunch of proverbs through a neural network and had it come up with new ones! Aha, found it (http://aiweirdness.com/post/162097037117/ancient-wisdom-from-the-neural-network)!

Ung.

[Ironsides]

I would go with something from English as She is Spoke (https://www.exclassics.com/espoke/espkpdf.pdf). It even has a recommendation from Mark Twain (yes that Mark Twain). He said, “Whatsoever is perfect in its kind, in literature, is imperishable: nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect, it must and will stand alone: its immortality is secure. … One cannot open this book anywhere and not find richness.” Take a peek at it, its worth your time.

[Doctor Awkward]

One of the old AD&D Oriental Adventure modules called "Mad Monkey vs the Dragon Claw" featured Hu Sen, the master of the Mad Monkey style of martial arts. About halfway through the module is an entire page of "Fortune Cookie Philosophy" to assist DM's in replicating the "wit and wisdon" of Hu Sen, intended to confuse players and preserve the mystery of the "wise old man".

Reproduced here for your reading pleasure:
If you use the weapons of your enemy, you slowly become
your own enemy.

If a man leaves his parasol at home, he cannot complain
rightly about the rain.

Even the Celestial Bureaucracy has its dead letter office.

What good is it for a man to write beautifully if his words
have no meaning?

Giving a weapon to an initiate is like giving a ladder to a
carp-- the offer may be appreciated, but the gift goes
unused.

When being lent a hand, look always for the fist it may
become.

Remember that a dragon's breath is an excess of hot air-- it
is in extremes that we find the greatest danger.

There is more soul in a sunset than in a cyclone, more beauty
in a swan than a hawk; raw force does not equate to triumph.

If you always must look behind you, you will walk in circles.
The greatest foes hide in mirrors.

Telling an initiate the great mysteries is like lecturing to a
volcano: even if there is an eruption you are unsure whether
it understood what was being said.

The warrior spirit is a demon in a bottle: once it is
unleashed, no amount of effort can restore it to its container.

Do you ask the swan how it calls, or the dragon how it flies?
No, you observe, and meditate, and mimic. Do so in this case
as well.

Not all vipers hide beneath the floorboards.

Look at your coins and you will see they have holes: look as
well for the hidden strings.

To a fish, a Kozakuran and a Shou look like twins.

To a fish, a monkey and a man look like brothers.

To a fish, a hook is a wondrous artifact.

Gods and demons look at magic like men look at hammers
and axes: both as weapons, but also as tools.

Rings declare and adventurers swagger but peasants plant
their rice and harvest it each year.

If you burn a holy man, is his spirit in the ashes or in the
smoke?

Does an arrow consider the merit of its target, or the stone
reflect on the honor of its foe?

A reed will bend while a tree's great bough will break, but
this matters little to the reeds if the bough lands on them.

If you call a man a fool, prepare to find a foe.

Those who tell you to build for the future are often trying to
interest you in buying a swamp.

A stone lion is sometimes just a stone lion.

Carrying weapons makes you a warrior as much as sticking
feathers in your hair makes you an eagle.

The goose may fly, the fox may stalk, but only the pig hunts
for truffles with his nose.

Demons with three eyes always carry a spare, but otherwise
provide only another target.

Never let your opponent count to three unchallenged.

When push comes to shove, push and shove.

If all conflicts were decided by games of chance, the king
with the powerful wu-jen would still do whatever he wants.

You speak of democracy. A plague is most democratic, striking
high-born and low without regard to their station or talent.

Let kings decide: the people must still implement the decisions
as they see fit.

The more fair the maiden, the bigger the beast protecting
her.

Life is not a practice session.

More power lies in a T'u Lung court fool than in its emperor.

More happiness lies in a Shou Lung court fool's heart than
in his emperor's.

Dragons lie as a matter of course, if nothing else to keep in
practice for important matters.

The man can fall a hundred feet and be smashed flat, but an
ant may be dropped from the moon and walk away.

Worship the gods, listen to their advice, but don't lend them
money.

A fool and his money will soon party.

When in doubt, listen to the man with the bloodier weapon.

[Palanan]

Originally Posted by Tonymitsu
About halfway through the module is an entire page of "Fortune Cookie Philosophy" to assist DM's in replicating the "wit and wisdon" of Hu Sen, intended to confuse players and preserve the mystery of the "wise old man".

These are fantastic. Now I need a character just to use these in my game.

Ahh, for the days when the game designers flung themselves wholeheartedly into this kind of wacky charm. Sometimes 3.P just plays it way too safe.