I am looking for a mentor DM to help me learn how to run games

[LordWolfKnight]

I am currently looking for someone/anyone who would help me learn how to run D&D 3.5 games of all power levels. While I know most of what the basic stuff does, I lack the ability to run a game for longer than a few sessions before I get overwhelmed and players leave because I lack the experience needed to run a game. I primarily use Roll20.net as my game site, and I know how most of it works. At this point I could not pay anyone to mentor me but in the future I very easily could afford a small amount. If this is asking too much i understand, and was just thinking that i would ask to see if anyone would help.

Thank you to all those who have helped me so far

[ComaVision]

What exactly is it you're looking for?

Do you want an experienced DM to play in your game and give you feedback?

Do you want an experienced DM co-DM your game?

Do you want to play in an experienced DM's game to see how it's done?

[LordWolfKnight]

more like being able to ask questions after sessions that i sit in on and take notes that way i can learn how to keep players interested and how to write longer story line learn how just go with the flow when the players make a decision that i was not expecting them to make. basically i want to be an apprentice learning by watching and practicing with my family when my Mentor is busy or can't teach me any more until i have a firm grasp on the basic stuff.

i know what to roll, for most things, but like skill checks i will never remember what the results will equal so i am going to need cheat sheet that i can store on my computer. not to mention i have no idea when to apply bonuses or penalties to rolls or how big they need to be. let me make a list of things that i know i need help with and i can go from there.


how to write a lengthy adventure or campaign
when to add bonuses and penalties to a check
how big a bonus or penalty needs to be
how to improv when the players do something unexpected
how make a ruling on questions when there are multiple interpretations from the players



these are what i feel my weaknesses are. if a DM would be willing to sit in on my games to observe what i have learn after i learn how to do it that would great as well
any help is greatly appreciated

edit: grammar, spacing , and spelling

[exelsisxax]

more like being able to ask questions after sessions that i sit in on and take notes that way i can learn how to keep players interested and how to write longer story line learn how just go with the flow when the players make a decision that i was expecting them to make. basically i want to be an apprentice learning by watching and practicing with my family when my Mentor is busy or can't teach me any more until i have a firm grasp on the basic stuff.

i know what to roll for most things but like skill checks i will never remember what the results will equal so i am going to need cheat sheet that i can store on my computer. not to mention i have no idea when to apply bonuses or penalties to rolls or how big they need to be.let me make a list of things that i know i need help with and i can go from there.


how to write a lengthy adventure or campaign
when to add bonuses and penalties to a check
how big a bonus or penalty needs to be
how to improv when the players do something unexpected
how make a ruling on questions when there are multiple interpretations from the players



these are what i feel my weaknesses are. if a DM would be willing to sit in on my games to observe what i have learn after i learn how to do it that would great as well
any help is greatly appreciated

Play more games, read about improv, read about creative writing - in that order. When you are confident you have a firm grasp of the rules, try a one-shot and reevaluate your capabilities. Then come back with specific questions. Nobody can tell you how to assign circumstance bonuses.

[ComaVision]

I have a pretty good grasp on skill DCs but I still have like 5 tabs of d20srd.org open whenever I DM. Better than any cheat sheet, imo.

[LordWolfKnight]

so there are no guidlines as to how certain things would affect a roll or anything?

i am capable to run a few sessions before my lack of experience gets the best of me and players leave the game. i feel that this is due to my lack of being able to express details but i am not sure

i will read up on those in that order to learns but i think learning from someone who is better at it would be beneficial

[ATalsen]

There are many good sources out there for learning to DM – not all sources work for all people, though, so you have to read a bit to see if they fir your style. I happen to like much (but not everything) of what is put forth by The Angry DM for advice (do a google search on him).




how to write a lengthy adventure or campaign
when to add bonuses and penalties to a check
how big a bonus or penalty needs to be
how to improv when the players do something unexpected
how make a ruling on questions when there are multiple interpretations from the players



I can only answer how *I’d* handle things, not as some universal best-DM, of course!

When I write a campaign I do it one or two adventures at a time. I don’t write that much ahead because I’m not entirely sure where the PCs will be going. I do have some overarching plotlines that ‘happen in the world’ that I have interact with the PCs via the adventures, and I expand on them (or cut them out!) depending on what the PCs seem to follow up on.

For bonuses a penalties, I think you’re asking about ad hoc modifiers? … I don’t use those myself; it’s not worth my time to try to figure out if some action is marginally improved by the description of the action provided by the player or if circumstances make it harder beyond any listed modifiers actually in the rule set.

Important note: If the PCs should not fail at something reasonable because they described it right, then I don’t’ have them roll, they just succeed; auto-failure works the same way, but happens much less often. This comes up often in a ‘search for clues’ scenario – if the PCs search the room I put clues in, then they find the clues, no roll, because these elements are needed to advance the plotline. *Extra* treasure hidden somewhere? Yeah, roll for finding that as normal, because its not plot-relevant.

Improv is not something I do well, but if I need to I tend to go with a “quantum ogre” solution, where the PC will be facing the same opponents (whichever opponents I’ve prepared for the session) regardless of where they go – but in doing so it’s key to never make their choices irrelevant!

For example, if I prepared a group of 5 Cultists, an Ogre, and a Dragon for a dungeon area, but the PCs decide to wander in the wilderness, I can still run those bad guys, but modified for wilderness encounters. Maybe the Cultists become bandits who are attacking a peasant on a horse and cart instead of preparing a ritual to sacrifice said peasant; maybe the Ogre is spotted in the distance and the PCs decide not to close in and fight it, and avoid it, and maybe the dragon is out hunting for food and will be a harder fight with free reign to breath fire and fly off into the sky, where in the dungeon it would have had limited maneuverability and space.


My own house rule for “multiple interpretations” is choosing to go with the least powerful option. If you honestly think that there are multiple *valid* ways to run a given rule, it’s probably best to choose the one that makes the option the least useful/powerful at the table. Afterward, go back, and review it and see what the online community says about it, but you will find it’s easier to say later that you were too stingy and the ‘thing’ can be more powerful, than going back later and telling your players ‘it’s too powerful and needs to be nerfed.” And players can get used to knowing that you will review your decision between sessions.

If you make a call during the game, note it down to review it between sessions – if you encounter it once, you’re likely to encounter it again. If you pick a way to handle it, write that down in a set of your own house rules so you remember it and can provide that to anyone who wants to remember what you have ruled on.

[Darth Ultron]

so there are no guidlines as to how certain things would affect a roll or anything?

Well, you have the rules. And you might find an article or two.

But mostly you have places like Right Here.

Ask away, and you will get at least a dozen answers. Ask any question you'd like about anything. Post your game story, post anything at all.

Post your examples too.





how to write a lengthy adventure or campaign
when to add bonuses and penalties to a check
how big a bonus or penalty needs to be
how to improv when the players do something unexpected
how make a ruling on questions when there are multiple interpretations from the players





1.This is a bit complex, so it's mostly better to just not do this. Stick to short or medium adventures until you feel your ready to move on.

2.Before someone makes the Roll (lol).

3.Really, as much as you want. If whatever is happening has a small effect, then that is a small number..like 2. If it has a bigger effect, make it 4.

The rules cover a lot of bonuses and penalties, so I'd guess you asking about other ones? Well, a good one is IF the player takes a moment to describe what they are doing in any sort of reasonable way, they get a +2 circumstance bonus. So for example a player that says ''Tog wraps his brown cloak around his body and lays down next to the tree stump" would get a +2 to hide.

And if you use a lot of skill checks in your game, you might look into all the skill rules. For example using alchemy bonuses and penalties.

4.A tricky one. It is simple enough though:Avoid letting the players do unexpected things by expecting them to happen. Make a note of an unexpected thing you have encountered, then for all other games expect that to possibly happen and be ready for it.

It is also a good idea to make a pile of 'unexpected answers'. Grab and copy anything you can like NPC stats or a map or whatever. The old Wizards archive is FULL of these, and you can find plenty more online...and in real books too. Then if you suddenly need something, go to the pile.

5.Pick One based on the rules, common sense and what you think is right. The first two are easy (or should be) If a rule says X, then it's X and common sense should be obvious. The last one you just have to ''go with'' what you think.

It also helps if you set things up so there IS no other interpretation.

[exelsisxax]

so there are no guidlines as to how certain things would affect a roll or anything?

i am capable to run a few sessions before my lack of experience gets the best of me and players leave the game. i feel that this is due to my lack of being able to express details but i am not sure

i will read up on those in that order to learns but i think learning from someone who is better at it would be beneficial

Why are players leaving the game? did you ask all of them? You have a specific problem that you aren't adequately informing us about, and so you are getting extremely broad advise that probably covers your circumstance - but only because it covers basically everything.

Invoke gaming rule 0: talk about it.

[FelineArchmage]

how to write a lengthy adventure or campaign
when to add bonuses and penalties to a check
how big a bonus or penalty needs to be
how to improv when the players do something unexpected
how make a ruling on questions when there are multiple interpretations from the players




As someone who is also very very bad at improv, the biggest way to get better at this is just to practice. To get better at this you also need to play a lot, get really in character, and go at it.

Look online for improv resources - it's a common thing for actors and a quick google search gave me a bunch of links.

Also, if your characters are doing something unexpected around NPCs, ask yourself: How would this character react? What would they do? And go from there.

[edathompson2]

I would recommend starting with pre-written adventures. Read both the DMG and DMG2. Don't skim them! Read them. There are also allot of youtube games you can watch to learn from as well.

[LordWolfKnight]

Why are players leaving the game? did you ask all of them? You have a specific problem that you aren't adequately informing us about, and so you are getting extremely broad advise that probably covers your circumstance - but only because it covers basically everything.

Invoke gaming rule 0: talk about it.

they leave because i lack the experience to run games for a long period of time. i can never keep the story intriguing enough to keep the players around for more than a few sessions. after a few sessions the players start to do ridiculous things that they claim is within their power level and it seems like they are extremely overpowered in my opinion. i try to restrict them but nothing works they still come up with crazy stuff to do and i have no way to prepare for it as i can't remember everything because i have a brain injury.

[exelsisxax]

they leave because i lack the experience to run games for a long period of time. i can never keep the story intriguing enough to keep the players around for more than a few sessions. after a few sessions the players start to do ridiculous things that they claim is within their power level and it seems like they are extremely overpowered in my opinion. i try to restrict them but nothing works they still come up with crazy stuff to do and i have no way to prepare for it as i can't remember everything because i have a brain injury.

But did they tell you that was the reason after you asked them?

[LordWolfKnight]

no they said that before they left as we would be discussing some rule interpretation, that in my opinion was a bogus interpretation. i want to say it was about two weapon fighting and flurry of blows that they were saying that with two weapon fighting they got the same number of attack with both hands, without taking the other two weapon fighting feats. or another one was like i made a ruling that a spells did not allow for a particular thing i cant remember what it was, but it was clear that the spell did not do something and they said it did if certain things were in place. i mean its small things but for some reason they didn't like my approach or something. once they leave they don't talk with me, so its not like i can ask them hey what don't you like about how i do things.

[exelsisxax]

no they said that before they left as we would be discussing some rule interpretation, that in my opinion was a bogus interpretation. i want to say it was about two weapon fighting and flurry of blows that they were saying that with two weapon fighting they got the same number of attack with both hands, without taking the other two weapon fighting feats. or another one was like i made a ruling that a spells did not allow for a particular thing i cant remember what it was, but it was clear that the spell did not do something and they said it did if certain things were in place. i mean its small things but for some reason they didn't like my approach or something. once they leave they don't talk with me, so its not like i can ask them hey what don't you like about how i do things.

This is irrelevant to the question, unless you are going to assume that they left because they disliked your ruling(which you will never be able to avoid, regardless of your experience). Did they tell you why they left?

[LordWolfKnight]

yes before they left, they said "you do not have the experience to run a campaign." i did not get the chance to ask what they meant or what can i do better before the dropped contact and blocked me. i honestly don't know how many times i have to tell you this before you will understand.

[LordWolfKnight]

Well, you have the rules. And you might find an article or two.

But mostly you have places like Right Here.

Ask away, and you will get at least a dozen answers. Ask any question you'd like about anything. Post your game story, post anything at all.

Post your examples too.




1.This is a bit complex, so it's mostly better to just not do this. Stick to short or medium adventures until you feel your ready to move on.

2.Before someone makes the Roll (lol).

3.Really, as much as you want. If whatever is happening has a small effect, then that is a small number..like 2. If it has a bigger effect, make it 4.

The rules cover a lot of bonuses and penalties, so I'd guess you asking about other ones? Well, a good one is IF the player takes a moment to describe what they are doing in any sort of reasonable way, they get a +2 circumstance bonus. So for example a player that says ''Tog wraps his brown cloak around his body and lays down next to the tree stump" would get a +2 to hide.

And if you use a lot of skill checks in your game, you might look into all the skill rules. For example using alchemy bonuses and penalties.

4.A tricky one. It is simple enough though:Avoid letting the players do unexpected things by expecting them to happen. Make a note of an unexpected thing you have encountered, then for all other games expect that to possibly happen and be ready for it.

It is also a good idea to make a pile of 'unexpected answers'. Grab and copy anything you can like NPC stats or a map or whatever. The old Wizards archive is FULL of these, and you can find plenty more online...and in real books too. Then if you suddenly need something, go to the pile.

5.Pick One based on the rules, common sense and what you think is right. The first two are easy (or should be) If a rule says X, then it's X and common sense should be obvious. The last one you just have to ''go with'' what you think.

It also helps if you set things up so there IS no other interpretation.

in regards to your answer to #2, i guess what i am asking is what situations would cause the bonus or penalty. i mean obviously i would add them before the roll, but if there is a situation like fighting from a cliff would there be bonuses for high ground and penalties for low ground and things like that or do i just use my judgement and go from there.

[Darth Ultron]

in regards to your answer to #2, i guess what i am asking is what situations would cause the bonus or penalty. i mean obviously i would add them before the roll, but if there is a situation like fighting from a cliff would there be bonuses for high ground and penalties for low ground and things like that or do i just use my judgement and go from there.

Yes, it is mostly your judgement.

There is no reason to not do so all the time, except for the effect it will have on the game.

It might slow down the game a bit, but if it is what you want, you can except it.

[exelsisxax]

yes before they left, they said "you do not have the experience to run a campaign." i did not get the chance to ask what they meant or what can i do better before the dropped contact and blocked me. i honestly don't know how many times i have to tell you this before you will understand.

Then they didn't give you any useful information. You don't know specifically why they left. All you know is that they don't think you were a good enough GM. To become a better GM, you practice GMing. To make the best use of that time, there are some specific things you can do.

Tell your prospective players up front that you are not an experienced GM, and that they can expect that sort of issue. Jerks are more likely to stay away, everybody is more likely to be more understanding as long as you are honest with them.
Ask for feedback from all your players before problems start - ask for feedback after your first session. Don't ask if they like the game, ask specific questions that directly address anything you feel you might need to work on, then ask a general "any other feedback on things I can improve?" at the end.
Vet your players differently. Your priority should be cooperative people that you can have honest interactions with, stable players, and those that have experience with a lot of different GMs. Voice actors, roleplayers, powergamers, jokesters, and flakes are useless to you.
Most importantly: if at all possible, take GMs as players. Not only will they likely enjoy being released from their life sentence of designated GM, their feedback will be more directed, their perspective more valuable, and if necessary they can help you if trouble arises.

Again: your real problems are overwhelmingly broad. You lack GM experience, go get some. The rest are not really GM skills at all, and you should not worry about them. After you go run some more games(or if you want actual RAW rules) you can come back with specific questions to get specific answers.

[LordWolfKnight]

Then they didn't give you any useful information. You don't know specifically why they left. All you know is that they don't think you were a good enough GM. To become a better GM, you practice GMing. To make the best use of that time, there are some specific things you can do.

Tell your prospective players up front that you are not an experienced GM, and that they can expect that sort of issue. Jerks are more likely to stay away, everybody is more likely to be more understanding as long as you are honest with them.
Ask for feedback from all your players before problems start - ask for feedback after your first session. Don't ask if they like the game, ask specific questions that directly address anything you feel you might need to work on, then ask a general "any other feedback on things I can improve?" at the end.
Vet your players differently. Your priority should be cooperative people that you can have honest interactions with, stable players, and those that have experience with a lot of different GMs. Voice actors, roleplayers, powergamers, jokesters, and flakes are useless to you.
Most importantly: if at all possible, take GMs as players. Not only will they likely enjoy being released from their life sentence of designated GM, their feedback will be more directed, their perspective more valuable, and if necessary they can help you if trouble arises.

Again: your real problems are overwhelmingly broad. You lack GM experience, go get some. The rest are not really GM skills at all, and you should not worry about them. After you go run some more games(or if you want actual RAW rules) you can come back with specific questions to get specific answers.

alright then i will try and find some GMs that are willing to help me out. thanks for all the information.

[LordWolfKnight]

You know, I just realized that I was told to do the exact same thing I am doing and got nowhere. Is there any other place here in the playground that I can seek out players who would be willing to at least join the game I have planned so that they can give me feedback?

Edit: At this point I am looking for at least one DM to join my currently planned game to give me feedback as to what I can do better. I am willing to start a whole new thing just for this as this is what I want to do. I want to dm on Roll20 and have lots of players who enjoy my style of play. I have some house rules that I deem necessary, like no xp costs to anything, no rolls to confirm critical hits as they make the game more fun. I also have rules specifically for the individual games based on the storyline. But they are more or less removing some mechanics that make things too hard or too rare to make happen.