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View Full Version : As the Shadow Thickens, Campain Background (RATE ME!!feed-back needed before monday!)



Volug
2007-09-03, 12:58 AM
Spoiler Warning!!!
if you plan to do one of my campains regarding this and dont want anything to be spoiled.
Do not read on.
Instead Direct yourself to my other post concerning how campaigns are going to work.
------------------
sorry im so impatiant, i REALLY want some fead-back, after all its my first homebrewed campain setting... so please comment or suggest:smallsmile:
I've been working on this idea for a year now, and just started to polish it up and play it.
Below is a basic over-view of each and every chapter in the series.
Chapter 1 to Chapter 4.
Enjoy and please PEACH it if you have the time. I may be able to add a few more stuff into it.
--------------------
Chapter 1 - The War of Shadows
Introduction

Rain pounds on the ground as a militia marches toward an abandoned town destroyed 10 years ago. Thunder Lights the sky illumenating the soldiers faces.
"This is indeed the place we are looking for.
Men, split up and search the town for the entrance to the temple!"
As the men start to move a person in a cloak appears in front of the soldiers
"Leave here at once, you killed the inhabitants of this village once, the least you can do is to leave their dying place alone."
The Leader of the group laughs
"You think you can order me around? We are under orders to destroy the contents inside a temple in this village, It is of great evil."
The man removes his hood, reveling the face of only a 14 year old boy.
He has White hair and dark eyes, and seems not what he appears to be.
"You slaughtered these people!!!
I have waited years to get revenge on the people who did this needlessly!
These people were the ones excepting me even though I wasnt of their kind!
you all deserve to die"
"Your only a boy, move along or we'll have to kill you."
".....Dont underestemate my strength Human..."
The boy raises his hand...........

Introduction 2
"So, this is the temple they wanted to find..." He says softly to himself.
after an hours worth of walking through the Temple he finds what he was looking for. The room has a black door, which looks like it has been sealed, and all around there is writing on the walls.
"...... Stupid..... How could i be so stupid."
He reads more.
He curses
"Of course they didnt care, to thinks some humans acually though i was someone.
They just want me for their tool, for my power...... *hmph* Guess its good they all died.
he know turns his attention to the sealed doorway.
after re-reading it through 5 times, he gets a smirk on his face.
"They all wanted me for power, to use me.
Stupid humans, all of them, elves, dwarves, every one.
This seal.... could it be the sorce of my powers?
Guess i'll find out."
He bites his finger, and breaks the seal.....

Chapter 2 - Blocking out the Light.
Introduction
Im DMing this now, the Intro is based on the starting of the campain.
"Myeh. Undead minions... I am expecting trouble..." mumbles Drazueis. "Human skeletons, surroundme as tightly as possible... owlbears, stay in the front, but do not attack unless I say so... Wolves, stay in a small spread around me..."
Drazueis stands in front of a tomb, only darkness can be seen beyond.

A shadow moved across the land, like a great specter that washed across the hills; flooding the land with it's taint. A cloud of darkness so deep it sucked in the light around it, casting the clouds into darkness as where once sun shined... now came a storm of rain and hail. This shadow is thicker then that of the skies, as it comes rushing towards the tomb with a great speed. As it comes near the group, the shadow seems to suddenly stop... it's mist sweeping forward and then lunging back as if tugged by some corporeal force.

Then slowly... with ominous force the mist feel down like a great curtain and revealed a small troupe of beings...

The first rides atop a horse made of flame and darkness, the giant Nightmare Stallion* rears back as the rider holds the reigns tight. It's hooves stamping the ground as he looks around with penetrating red eyes. He wears formal vestments made of black silk with dark leather straps and buckles of pristine ivory... bone fastenings hook up various straps around his body. Windswept blue hair is tossed back as he shifts slightly... and the area is suddenly drained of life as you all can feel a darkness slam against your very souls.**

He turns his head to the left to investigate another companion, and you can see a tattoo forming up his neck and across the right side of his face of a scythe's handle. For a brief moment, his shirt hits the light and seems to become translucent and shows off his pale skinny chest which displays the most heinous of dark acts as the Dread Reaper coddles two babies as waters of fire and ice rush over them... snuffing their life's from this world. The mark is so dark, so evil... all people with sinister souls can automatically tell this man has been seen by the most perverse of gods, and marked as a personal servant to his dark god.***

The companion to his left is actually not mounted on a steed... instead the great winged archon floats along in the air with a look of utter indifference upon her gaunt features. The archon has a solid huge greatsword strapped to her back, armor clad across her once beautiful form. Beauty however, is in the eye of the beholder.**** You can see a look of lust cross the Marked Man's face as he gazes upon her slightly decayed body... his hand reached out and stroking her jaw.

A laugh escapes the creature riding the other Nightmare to the Marked Man's right. Clad in black armor you can see no discernible facial features. However, his entire left arm remains exposed as it loosely lays atop of a tower shield strapped to the Nightmare's flank... not only is the arm exposed from being without armor... it is without skin entirely showing nothing but a skeleton arm and long claw-like fingers. "By the Reaper, Til.... you can't keep your hands off of her. She still hasn't satisfied you?"

Til, the Marked Man, smirks... a cruel twisted smile that can be seen as nothing but pure mockery of what it should be, "Ah... Grim. Someday you might have a beauty such this... a prize that no other man can claim easily. She fought with more strength, then even you." His head turned and looked at Grim, and the armored creature visibly shakes at the gesture.

"Aye... aye." He clenches his skeletal fist tight, you can see dust float softly to the ground and get blown away in the breeze.

Til smiles softly again and turns his gaze to the assembled masses, "The Reaper has proven truth, the dead have spoken no riddles. We are not alone in this quest, it would seem." He snaps his fingers and the Nightmare's explode in a cloud of darkness and mist and escape on the wind leaving the two men to float softly to the ground. The archon lands softly on the ground and stands behind Til.

He takes a step forward and looks around at you all, "Ah, my friends. Please... come, gather. Speak, converse... give truth and let us see what the living might speak to keep the dead from weeping. I beg you, step forward."

Moving slowly like a predator lurking it's prey, a hooded figure walks across the land. On his back, a gleaming scythe, crafted from the metal from near the very core of the planet itself. As the breeze blows, beneath the waving cloack it is possible to see markings, written in blood, showing allegiance to Nerull, in life and death. He pulls back his hood, revealing a seemingly human face, yet, he bears signs of orcish heritage. His hair, lit by the moon, is a white as strands of moonlight. His eyes, seem dull, as if devoid of any life.

Walking towards the group, as silently as he came, he stops. "It seems my lord, the Lord of All Gloom has granted me company."

A human shaman appears eager to enter.
TIME TO KICK SOME GOODIE A**!!!

"Hello, Cleric of Nerull. I see you have a desecrate spell with you? Advantageous for my skeletons," says Drazueis quietly. His voice sounds raspy and sinister.

"Please, let me introduce myself." Drazueis' voice is filled with evil rather than gratitude as he says these words. "I am Drazueis Plokens, a wizard, and a Drow. Usually I work alone. But it seems..."

"It seems I have to work with people this time. People," he says, "who I will come to befriend, hate, wonder at, annoy, converse with, and ignore." Drazueis smiles.

He turns to the Human Shaman. "You, on the other hand, you I will come to stare at, annoy, mumble incoherently at, and get annoyed by," he says. "You make yourself sound so reckless. And while I may know better I will act as if though your first impression on me was your only impression on me. I will act as though you are a reckless nitwit, and thus I will annoy you to all extent. Unless you truly are an idiot?" continues Drazueis, moving closer to the Shaman. "Then you won't care, I believe. Yes, you will not care..."

And with those final words, Drazueis huddles himself within his skeletons once again and speaks no more.


Chapter 3 - War anew
Introduction 1

A man is seen kneeling on the ground
"My Lord, our spies have gotten information that a kingdom has caught wind of our plans and plans to destroy our cult.
That is of the least of our concerns however, they will all be killed immediantly.
The most important thing is that a boy was born about a year ago, he has the blood of the acient magic inside his veins."

The kneeling man awaits what his Lord and Master has to say on this matter

Kill him, if he grows too old he may have more power then the rest of the pathetic humans.

As for the battle, i shall accompany our army. This will show everyone else that their deaths will be just as horrible.

Introduction 2
They should be here, very soon. a man of 24 years of age is seen waiting paciantly for something. He has a look of a great leader.
a messanger enters the room, he is clothed in white robes and a holy symbol of Pelor is seen dangling from his neck.
Did he take the bait?
Yes sir, he makes preparations to attack the capital.
.... I never thought he would be so quick to do this, I thought this would have failed.
The men get a sorrowfull look on their faces.
Sir..... Why must we sacrifice an entire city of people for this?
If we dont..... more people will die, there is no other choice but to sacrifice them. It will allow us to see his power, and determine his weaknesses.
It will also hold him off in seeking other places to destroy. We are simply buying alot of time, that we really need.
Long days pass, the skies darken and it begins to rain..... blood.

Chapter 4 - Shadows Reign
Introduction

Sephyr has fallen.... and so has the hope of mankind, elfkind, and everything else.
Xeragnarok destroys everything in the world, only small groups of others remain.
They are soon to be destroyed, they cannot hind for long.
How was Sephyr able to almost kill Xeragnarok?
The last people remain try to find the answers... and be able to restore their kind, and hope. Or will they fail?

The ones who 'helped' Xeragnarok gain his dominance are no better off.
They endure his rage to find everyone who survived, they endure his hatred of everything, they endure his ever burning gaze on them, they endure the fact they could be horribly killed any second...

The World is covered in darkness, shadow, and death. No way out, no where to run. Though the tiniest speck of hope lingers on.....

Introduction2

No time to stop, keep going... Orion, thinks to himself. He's been through all this before and been through this land, yet it all seems so differn't. He's blind, and memorized the locations of everything in the land, but know he has no clue where he's going. All he knows is to keep running and find a way to meet up with the others.
I can't die... I need to give them this info i wont die! He instictivly kills 3 nightwalkers he senses with only a simple spell.

Hours pass, everything seems calm. which is not normal as it has been hell the last 16 months.... when his brother died. Sephyr was like a brother to him, even though they weren't directly related, he would avenge him.

He stops for a bit and casts a spell to see if anything is sneaking up on him... nothing..... this isn't normal... its too good to be true. He casts buffering spells on him and takes out his lance.
"show yourself... your tricks arn't working.
.....I am shadow.... This sentence enters his head, but what did it come from? I am anti-light... I can see your past... I can see your future.... I consume time.... And I will consume you!

i noticed quite a few name problems. if you see any point them out please.

Volug
2007-09-03, 08:49 PM
*bumpage*

i re-did some things, mostly the first chapter. It sounded a little strange so i added another intro.

this isnt all the way done, but im working on it still.

Suggestions and comments will still be apperciated.

Volug
2007-09-08, 06:10 PM
*bumpaga*

I'm cleaning, and editing my other things for my campain setting and will post it SOON!

if you have suggestions which I will take, post now or forever hold your tuna tennis CD clips.

Volug
2007-09-16, 07:15 PM
*EDITED*

*bumpaja*

inserted intro 2 for chapter 3. and Finished

sorry about the bright colors:smallfrown: .

I'm also really looking for some fedback/suggestions on this, weather it be good or bad, or just to point out some typos ((i bet i still have alot....))
I need some so i can perfect some things before i start them, i'm barley starting my second, but can still add a bit.

I'm done, have any questions i will answer them. and im making another part going into detail on exactly how im going to run them.

Volug
2007-09-27, 05:04 PM
Here im going to be adding other things worth mentioning in the campain. I added a waiting lists to all the campains, first come, first serve. I added them so we can jump right into the game whenever:smallbiggrin: .

Chapter 1

Players:3-6

Alignment:any (preferable good team-workers)

Difficulty:Kinda Hard

Length: Average

Genre:Mostly Puzzles, though does have some big battles.

Character development:9/10

Characters of importance:

Shojen- He is the Emporor of the country of Gileyesh, a small country yet is the center of trade and quite a weathly country.

Yeshimaru: A boy of 15 that is skill in some necromancy, he is an orphan from the destroyed country of Shilido, and the only surviver. He is quite, not social, keeps to himself and remembers nothing of his country.

Tokai: A rich man from Gileyesh. He operates most of the trade not controlled by the empire of his country.

???: 5 years after the war, assianations have been frequent. People belive its either Tokai trying to kill all the other wealthy merchants or this mysterouis man who is only spotted on dark nights, but not for very long. No one knows about him, he doesnt seem human though. Some say its an ilusion, and most agree.

Other details: This campain is pretty good, it shows the origins about alot of major characters. Starts after the war which all the countries fought for land and domination. now that its ended peace has been declared and everyone lives in harmony.... for now. Lots of Dungeons (might put some in from the Libris Mortis). The players start in the main city of a small country, the story isnt much at the start. though as soon as the plot twists start it gets ALOT better.

Waiting list:None


Chapter 2


Players:------------

Alignment: Nuetral-Evil (not good for good-aligned)

Difficulty:Easy-Average

Length: little less then average

Characters of Importance

Til: One of Reaper's (Nerull) Men. He is very eager to serve him. He hunts down ways to crush Pelor's church.
While trying to find ways to do so he comes across a tomb in a vison. Naturally, he heads to his destination and acuires a strange blade. His ideas and plans are mostly unknown.

more to come.

Other details:This campaign is in progress and is going smothly (besides the fact rpgwebprofiler.com is down). This campaign explains how Evil came back into the world since the War of Shadows many years ago.
Not very many plot hooks and very straight forward and the easiest of all the campaigns.


Chapter 3

Players:
Evil: 4
Good: 4

Alignment:2 teams, 2 games one is Evil only, the other Good only.

Difficulty:Average-Very Hard

Length: Lengthy

Genre:WAR! huge battles with some PvP in the mix:smallamused:

Character development:10/10

Characters of importance:

Xeragnarok:God of Shadow. Thirsts for the destruction of Humanity, Elven-kind, and all others like it. Un-Fathomable strength and considered immortal. No light shines within miles of where he resides, he can control shadows and is capable of destroying armies in seconds.

Sephyr:General of the resistance, holds some strange power that might have the smallest of chances to defeat Xeragnarok. Very kind and talkative, cares about his troups and the good of all. Serious and calm, he will do whatever it takes to kill him. Even giving his own life.

more soon!

More info: This is going to have 2 differn't teams, with 2 campaigns. There WILL be ALOT of huge battles. And definatly some PvP. so this is a full out war game, one against the other. still taking players if interested:smallbiggrin: .

Waiting list:
Evil: No players
Good: No players
Undecided (side):tobian



Chapter 4


Players:4-7

Alignment:any Good

Difficulty:Extremely Hard - PullYourHairOutAndScreamWhileCryingForYourMother. no joke...

Length: Very Long

Genre:ALOT OF BOTH! also i added in some "puzzle fights" a la shadow of the colossus (http://youtube.com/watch?v=82WXHV-h4wc)

Character development:depends.....

Characters of importance:

Orion:He is a lifetime friend of Sephyr. Even though he is blind he knows virtually everything on the battle ground. That's why he used to serve the army of Sephyr as a Stratigist. His skills are very high and he is very loyal.
He is very shy, only really talks to Sephyr. But after Sephyr's death, he lost everything. He is now trying to find a way to complete Sephyr's dream. He will stop at nothing to do so.
He is now one of the very very few people alive in this hellish place. He commands what is left, and tries to keep everyone alive.

More Details: You want challange? think you can beat anything the DM throws at you? tired of playing those easy kill-this-steal-that campaings?
Try being the only 4-7 people alive while trying to survive Thousands of Undead and followers of Xeragnarok with even him chasing you around. AND IT DOESNT AND THERE, you need to kill them all, and bring back the races of humanity, gain god-like-powers, having no room to breath or sleep without being attacked by powerfull monsters, Figure out mysteries and puzzles that seems impossible, and it all starts at level 1... I'm just getting started.

This is apparently ment for Experts only. I'm not exaderating about this, dead serouis. Also dont miss the spot where i said You need to kill them all. Cause thats the only way you can win, yes that means Xeragnarok. Thats where the part where you need to find out how you can obtain god-like-powers.

Also (as noted above in 'genre') there will be what i call 'puzzle fights' where you try to find a weak spot on a HUGE colossus (a la Shadow of the Colossus) so al credit goes to the game for the idea.

This is going to be hard... but very fun. Enjoy the ride:smallbiggrin: .

Waiting list: No players yet.

Volug
2007-09-28, 09:01 PM
I'm really looking for suggestions now, so i can get some expert help from all the Experts:smallbiggrin: .

This is my only first Serious Home-Brewed campain setting. Im really looking for some feed-back.

Yeah, sorry for being so impateint... I'm eager for some fead back, i havent got ONE for the weeks i had this on (its been, what, like 3-4 weeks).
Yeah, it is a VERY long read. If you have time plz comment or help out a little bit.

Bitzeralisis
2007-09-28, 09:52 PM
Okay. Here's some feedback.

Are we going to get on with the game or what!?

And can you at least acknowledge that I, Bitzeralisis, am the player of Drazueis?

Oh, and I do like how you used my post to end the intro.

"And with those final words, Drazueis huddles himself within his skeletons once again and speaks no more."

Very nice. :smallbiggrin:

Volug
2007-09-28, 10:01 PM
Okay. Here's some feedback.

Are we going to get on with the game or what!?

And can you at least acknowledge that I, Bitzeralisis, am the player of Drazueis?

Oh, and I do like how you used my post to end the intro.

"And with those final words, Drazueis huddles himself within his skeletons once again and speaks no more."

Very nice. :smallbiggrin:

Yeah, sorry for the delay. If Forgotten cant fight in the battle you are DEAD. 2 NightWalkers at level 11 much?

He said he is almost done, very soon. I will PM everyone about it as soon as he is ready.
IT WILL GO ON!

Volug
2007-09-28, 10:24 PM
Finished most of it, i will clear up the rest of the things tommorow.

like i said if you REALLY want to play in these, but dont want to wait till i put up the thread for it? PM me and i'll sign you up!

I'll even fill you in on crucial parts too what happens if you are not able to play them all. I am probably going to do these more then once.... maybe.

Im realy excited to get started! like i said PEACH and i would like some Feed-back!

Miraqariftsky
2007-09-28, 11:44 PM
It's good writing, I'll give you that. Great plot build-up and I appreciate the flavour of the dialogue. Btw, on your fourth chapter, it's spelled SUPREME.

Ah, and it also informed me that... hmm, well... check this out: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheets/view.php?id=25993. See the backstory down below? Was Neshi apparently caught in the same war but different hemisphere?

Volug
2007-09-29, 08:13 AM
Ah, and it also informed me that... hmm, well... check this out: http://www.myth-weavers.com/sheets/view.php?id=25993. See the backstory down below? Was Neshi apparently caught in the same war but different hemisphere?


Wow, that is weird.

However, this is undead that was mentioned, Xeragnarok never uses undead the only undead at his command are shadow creatures (nightwalkers).

As for the person how rises up to save them, it does have alot of similarities.
Sephyr, didnt appear out of nowhere. He was just a normal adventurer who got into a high position because he was the strongest out of many.

Its not intirely the same, but a small bit:smallbiggrin: .for one thing its NOT going to be easy lol.

Volug
2007-09-29, 05:32 PM
I added a 2nd intro to Chapter 4.

I would like to see/hear how i did on it. I thought i did quite well. So i would like to see anyones opinions on that please!:smallsmile:

thanks in advance!

*bumP* i want one last PEACH... or two... or lots... i want lots:smallbiggrin:

Volug
2007-09-29, 06:35 PM
Finished Chapter 4 details as well.

I'm still looking for LOTS of fead-back, though it appears im not getting as much as i would have hoped for. I would really like some more.

So if you have time, i would like some specifically for the Chapter 4 2nd intro Though if you can do the whole thing as well, thats even better.

Thanks TONS in advance.

Volug
2007-09-29, 07:34 PM
Also (as noted above in 'genre') there will be what i call 'puzzle fights' where you try to find a weak spot on a HUGE colossus (a la Shadow of the Colossus) so al credit goes to the game for the idea.

exicted? you should be. i am:smallbiggrin:

sorry if i made any MODs mad for my constent 'bumping'. if your tired of it and want me to stop PM me and it will be done.:smallsmile:

puppyavenger
2007-09-29, 09:04 PM
shouldn't this be ion finding payers forum?

Volug
2007-09-29, 09:09 PM
shouldn't this be ion finding payers forum?

No, i just put recruiting a little bit now (just a little...) so when I DO start recruiting we can just jump right in.
Thank you, Drive through. Now i would like to have an acual comment/suggestion.

Volug
2007-09-29, 09:26 PM
Seriously, i need a rating on it or something! i got two 3 already, i would like at least 5. I want to make sure that people find it Cool/Gripping/Fun looking so i can start it up with my friends monday! this is my last post if no one else says anything.

I really want to get this perfected and ready for my friends!

So PLEASE take the time and Rate it or suggest ANYTHING!
and be serouis please...