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Erkira the Red
2007-09-04, 08:48 AM
I’ve always wondered what to do with the body of a defeated monster, it doesn’t seem quite right to just loot it of gold (if it had any) and leave it (wow my druid playing sister must be rubbing off on me). So I thought that if you can make awesome things out of the bodies you can personalize your character more, or be more intimidating/get some other crazy bonus or just sell the stuff to some poor sucker!!


What to do with a young white dragon:
1. turn it’s head into a awesome punch bowl for parties
2. make a hand bag and matching shoes
3. make a dragon stuffy for you character’s nieces and nephews
4. Slippers!! Come on the dragon has cold resistance, think how warm your feet would be
5. host a BBQ party and serve dragon steaks
6. make a stylish dress, I mean robe for the wizard
7. turn it’s bone into weapons or something

What to do with were-rats:
1. make a fake mink coat
2. get a real rattail for you hair
3. use the skull for a crazy helmet

Please post other monster ideas, it only a matter of time before I run into them!! :smallsmile:

Solo
2007-09-04, 08:50 AM
What to do with kobolds....

The Glyphstone
2007-09-04, 08:51 AM
The RL group I run loots everything. EVERYTHING. They particularly like taking teeth and claws, so much that they've established a special relationship with an exotic weapons crafter in one city who makes daggers+knives for them.

goat
2007-09-04, 08:56 AM
Well, the problem with dragon steaks, is that most people would shy away from eating anything that could have been talking to them a few hours beforehand.

daggaz
2007-09-04, 08:57 AM
My dwarven war cleric always loots interesting body parts from monsters, teeth, claws, scales, i got a minotaur horn and manticore spikes, you name it. Unfortunately my DM never did anything with the idea...

Bender
2007-09-04, 09:04 AM
Among other things my druid has the horn of a minotaur, a tooth of a Xill, a stylish yellow cape, and the heart of a troglodyte, ritually enclosed in a wooden chest...
Another PC has a vase filled with gelatine...

I also wondered what happens with the bodies after the looting. Do they magically disappear like in computer games? One of the last sessions (with me as DM), the party camped at the battlesite, completely ignoring the corpses lying around. And then they are surprised to be trampled in the middle of the night by the next patrol :smallconfused: (yes, they also forgot to guard the camp, two were unconscious before they managed to get out the tent, the others just survived)

psychoticbarber
2007-09-04, 09:04 AM
I Buffy-the-Vampire-Slayer them after the PCs, leave, essentially. They rarely go back to check out the body, and I obviously won't do it if they say they're coming back or if it's important, but the bodies of the kobold war camp? Usually just disappear.

Ninian ta Rouge
2007-09-04, 09:07 AM
i cut everthing open thats not humanoid to check their intesinces and i found a bunch of magic stuff good magic stuff.:smallsmile:


How to perserve dragon hide rub dragon blood into it.:smalleek:

Erkira the Red
2007-09-04, 09:10 AM
Hmm…. Kobolds, that one’s tough
1. make a “tickle-me Meepo” the “tickle-me Elmo” of D&D (always a hit with the kids)
2. if you have 2 you could make shoulder pads out of their heads
3. sell their scales as stylish dinner wear to pixies

Citizen Joe
2007-09-04, 09:19 AM
Kobolds: Your trained war/hunting/guard dogs need something to eat.

Also, I think there are 'cleaner' monsters that roam dungeons, picking up carrion and eating it. See gelatinous cube and carrion crawler.

Note also that often when you defeat something, it is at 0 HP, not -10... so you could stabilize and take them prisoner. Then trade them in for a reward or sell them into slavery or whatever.

psychoticbarber
2007-09-04, 09:21 AM
Also, I think there are 'cleaner' monsters that roam dungeons, picking up carrion and eating it. See gelatinous cube and carrion crawler.

Oooh, must remember that, if the PCs ever decide to return a week later. "Well, you left kobold bodies. They're gone now, but there's a gelatinous cube there. Have fun."

On a completely unrelated note, I had some fun chasing after my players in the Mad Wizard's tower with a Gelatinous Dodecahedron. Poor d12 never gets any love.

RTGoodman
2007-09-04, 09:27 AM
Check out the Trophy Collector feat from PHB2. For the low, low cost of a few ranks in Craft (Taxidermy), it lets you create trophies from the body parts of things you've defeated, and then you get bonuses on various checks against other creatures of a race that one of your trophies belonged to.

Bender
2007-09-04, 09:45 AM
On a completely unrelated note, I had some fun chasing after my players in the Mad Wizard's tower with a Gelatinous Dodecahedron. Poor d12 never gets any love.

like the gelatinous dodecahedron of the d20 Munchkin game?


Note also that often when you defeat something, it is at 0 HP, not -10... so you could stabilize and take them prisoner. Then trade them in for a reward or sell them into slavery or whatever.

I must admit that I never bother about rolling for monsters to see whether they stabilise...

Ow, I just remembered our wizard used to run around with the legs of a giant spider round his neck. I had to give him a charisma penalty for that, but his cha was already 6, so he didn't care.

psychoticbarber
2007-09-04, 09:50 AM
like the gelatinous dodecahedron of the d20 Munchkin game?

Okay, I didn't think I was the first person to think of it, but I haven't read the d20 Munchkin game.

Kurald Galain
2007-09-04, 10:00 AM
like the gelatinous dodecahedron of the d20 Munchkin game?
I'm pretty sure that was an octahedron :smalltongue:

Bender
2007-09-04, 10:03 AM
I'm pretty sure that was an octahedron :smalltongue:

Yes, I only checked after I posted... a dodecahedron is more funny though :smallcool:

Arang
2007-09-04, 10:07 AM
The gelatinous tesseract beats them all.:smalltongue:

Dausuul
2007-09-04, 11:18 AM
Check out the Trophy Collector feat from PHB2. For the low, low cost of a few ranks in Craft (Taxidermy), it lets you create trophies from the body parts of things you've defeated, and then you get bonuses on various checks against other creatures of a race that one of your trophies belonged to.

Yeah, I was really amused the first time I saw that feat. I don't think I've ever played in a D&D game where there wasn't at least one person who took trophies every time the party killed a new monster, and often the entire group joined in. Clearly somebody at WotC realized there was a high demand for this sort of thing.

skywalker
2007-09-04, 11:35 AM
The first time our wizard died, my character skinned the winter wolf that did it, and we rezzed the wizard, there was a wolf-skin rug waiting on the floor of his abode.

Ever since the DM sent us up against 12th level monks that hit like 16th level monks, I gut everything and check its intestines(in the case of the monks, for monks belts, of course) and you always gut stuff that eats humanoids, just in case...

Techonce
2007-09-04, 11:50 AM
Camping at the battleefield

If the party is not smart enought to change campsite after killing creatures, then the scavangers show up. The party learns quickly.

As for eating things...

We had a long discussion about whether it was okay to eat a sentient creature? Quite an arguement. At what point is it an evil act? Creature in point here was a displacer beast. I was iffy, group thout it was okay.

As for kobolds...

Helmets and bowls for nachos and salsa fo course!

Drider
2007-09-04, 11:57 AM
http://dndorks.com/comics/5%2f27%2f2002.aspx
for illithids

Mewtarthio
2007-09-04, 12:01 PM
We had a long discussion about whether it was okay to eat a sentient creature? Quite an arguement. At what point is it an evil act? Creature in point here was a displacer beast. I was iffy, group thout it was okay.

Well, seeing as it's not in any state of mind to care...

ndragonsbane
2007-09-04, 12:20 PM
I once drug an Illithid back to town and had it stuffed in a menacing pose then hung if from the ceiling of our dining hall flying superman style.

Before we managed to get our base we lent it to a local mage's guild and used to distract the clerk just long enough to put it behind him while he was busy to scare him when he turned around.

Also once made a Daisho holder for a samurai out of the claws of a rather large black dragon.

horseboy
2007-09-04, 12:23 PM
I had a paladin that turned his library into a museum. The local kids would come in and look at all the dragon skulls and orc skeletons in glass cases. It's a very educational and fun field trip.

John Campbell
2007-09-04, 02:09 PM
My crafting wizard tends to part monsters out for spell components and crafting materials.

The haft of my frost surge greataxe is made from the femur of a white dragon we killed. We've got the head and hide of that around somewhere, too... I was going to make dragonhide armor, but concluded that, due to the idiotic 3rd ed. armor bonus/Dex bonus tradeoff and the armor non-proficiency penalties, and my inability to talk the DM into giving me a break on the cost of making it provide cold resistance, there was no point. Not even the druid could benefit from it. There's at least one spell that uses dragon scales for a material component, though, and I used a few of those scales to make amulets of natural armor. I seem to recall we had dragon steak for dinner that night, too. (Broiling up white dragon takes a light touch... it cooks 1.5 times faster than other dragon meats. But it's better than red dragon, which doesn't cook at all.) We've got some blue dragon parts around for similar reasons - head for a trophy, hide and bones in case I decide to make something from them. I figure if we collect the whole set, we can kitbash a stuffed Tiamat.

My cloak (war wizard cloak/cloak of resistance) is made from the hide of a winter wolf I killed. We've got the hide of a pack lord displacer beast stored on our ship, which I'm planning on making a cloak of displacement out of, if I ever run out of more important projects. (And we used it to improvise a leather watering trough once, when we had to leave our horses alone in a wasteland for a couple of days.)

I generally stay away from butchering the humanoid types, though, in another group, the halfling barbarian was wearing an orc skull as a helmet for a while.

Tweekinator
2007-09-04, 02:24 PM
What to do with kobolds....

Suck the precious, precious xp from their lifeless bodies to fuel your one man death-machine?

Fighteer
2007-09-04, 02:31 PM
This thread puts me in mind of a player in one of the first games I DM'ed (2nd edition) whose character liked to put the decapitated heads of his foes in a sack that he carried around with him. I got him back for it when he was foolish enough to actually open the bag and look inside. Can you say, "failed save vs. nausea"? Of course, that didn't make the contents of the sack any nicer, which prompted yet another save, etc...

I still laugh out loud remembering that scene.

The_Ferg
2007-09-04, 02:32 PM
You could simply animate their bodies...
oh wait, would that be evil?

HawkBob
2007-09-04, 02:44 PM
I'm working on a Barbarian who burns the bodies after killing them because of his tribes beliefs.

Citizen Joe
2007-09-04, 02:55 PM
Camping at the battleefield

If the party is not smart enought to change campsite after killing creatures, then the scavangers show up. The party learns quickly.


Actually, a scavenger is MUCH more likely to simply run off with the dead corpse than risk itself in a fight.

ufo
2007-09-04, 02:57 PM
It's not in my character's character (d'oh!) to collect trophies and other silly things. Pft!

But one o' mah groupmates has a tendency. One time, he bought a giant spoon to get all the flesh out of a dragon head, and he used a knife to get off the skin. I was extremely disgusted.

Actually, I still have the tongue of a golden basilisk from our first adventure, but that was for practical reasons. I never got around to throwing it away.

Bender
2007-09-04, 02:57 PM
We have appropriately named two zombie crocodiles: trapspringer and trapspringer II

Behold_the_Void
2007-09-04, 03:00 PM
My NE Swordsage burns the bodies of worthy opponents in the name of his god, Kossuth. Unworthy opponents get to feed the crows.

TimeWizard
2007-09-04, 06:27 PM
I am filled with shock and awe that immeadite zombification didn't make the list. I mean, you can use necromancy for good. Think how many lives you'd save with zombie town defenders! How much easier would life be with farmers who worked all night and day, with out even the most minimal requirements? Bearers of my portable throne... I mean, uh.... Greater Good. Yeah, that's right. Greater Good.

Stormcrow
2007-09-04, 06:48 PM
Well, the problem with dragon steaks, is that most people would shy away from eating anything that could have been talking to them a few hours beforehand.

Lucky we don't all live in Narnia.. we'd be very, very hungry.

I've got a barbarian who eats the hearts of powerful enemies he defeats so he can share their power.

psychoticbarber
2007-09-04, 07:08 PM
I am filled with shock and awe that immeadite zombification didn't make the list. I mean, you can use necromancy for good. Think how many lives you'd save with zombie town defenders! How much easier would life be with farmers who worked all night and day, with out even the most minimal requirements? Bearers of my portable throne... I mean, uh.... Greater Good. Yeah, that's right. Greater Good.

*Snort*. Very nice :smallwink:.

dual_wielder
2007-09-04, 07:11 PM
The barbarian in our party would take a body part from every monster we killed and glue it to his "helm of brilliance". Started off with some feces and felldrake horns, and ended with over 180 items.

clockwork warrior
2007-09-04, 07:29 PM
i had a character who pulled a dark tower and carried the lower jaw of a bugbear around

Chronos
2007-09-04, 07:52 PM
Quoth Arang:
The gelatinous tesseract beats them all.Does this actually exist? Because if not, I absolutely must design one.

*Googles around*

OK, here goes:

Gelatinous Tesseract
Large outsider (augmented ooze)
Initiative: -5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 5 (-1 size, -4 Dex), touch 5, flat-footed 5
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+7
Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6 plus 1d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6 plus 1d6 acid)
Space/Reach: 10 ft. x 10 ft. x 10 ft. x 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, engulf, paralysis, phase
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., immunity to electricity, transparent, blinking, astral shift
Saves: Fort +9, Ref -3, Will -3
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 3, Con 26, Int 3, Wis 3, Cha 3
Skills: Climb +7
Feats: —
Environment: Astral plane or underground
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: 1/10th coins, 50% goods (no nonmetal or nonstone), 50% items (no nonmetal or nonstone)
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 5-12 HD (Large); 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Slightly more cunning than their material counterparts, gelatinous tesseracts ooze through the narrow spaces between dimensions, feeding off of ectoplasmic debris.

Combat
A gelatinous tesseract attacks by extending a pseudopod in any direction from its body, including crossplanar directions. It can also engulf foes.

Acid (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract's acid does not affect metal or stone.

Engulf (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract can engulf Large or smaller creatures in the same manner as a gelatinous cube. When the gelatinous tesseract shifts planes in any manner, any creature it grapples is shifted with it.

Paralysis (Ex): Any creature struck by the tesseract's slam, engulf, or phase attack must make a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed by the sheer logical incongruity of the creature. This paralysis lasts 3d6 rounds.

Phase (Su): If a gelatinous tesseract blinks out (see below) just as it's attacking, its attack does not fail. Any attack rolls made while blinking ignore the target's armor and natural armor (except for armor due to force effects), but do no physical damage. Acid damage and paralysis, however, still apply.

Blindsight (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract is blind, but can sense all creatures within 60 feet via astral perturbations from the creature. This ability functions across planes, and the range is 120 feet for detecting outsiders.

Transparent (Ex): Gelatinous tesseracts are hard to see, even under ideal conditions, and it takes a DC 15 Spot check to notice one. Creatures who fail to notice a tesseract and walk into it are automatically engulfed.

Blinking (Su): A gelatinous tesseract continually blinks in and out of the ethereal plane, as the Blink (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/blink.htm) spell. This ability cannot be dispelled.

Astral shift (Su): A gelatinous tesseract can shift entirely into the Astral Plane as a move action, or into the material plane as a full-round action. Both of these abilities are usable at will.

Ralfarius
2007-09-04, 10:35 PM
I once had a player arrange the bodies of a group of ghouls into a gruesome display of wanton horror, leaving a sign warning that this was what happened to his enemies.

Me: "And your alignment is... What?"
PC: "Chaotic good!"
Me: "How the heck is this chaotic good!?"
PC: "It's... Interpretive art!"
Me: "..."

Xuincherguixe
2007-09-05, 02:31 AM
Make them into soup, and serve them to people of the same race. Then tell them.

Bonus points if you can work blackmail, and making them force others into cannibalism.

Really the fun stuff is all evil anyways.

TimeWizard
2007-09-05, 10:07 AM
Really the fun stuff is all evil anyways.

Hence immeadite zombification.

Stabby
2007-09-05, 10:13 AM
Note also that often when you defeat something, it is at 0 HP, not -10... so you could stabilize and take them prisoner. Then trade them in for a reward or sell them into slavery or whatever.

See, thats why my CN Swashbuckler makes sure to stab all corpse in the eyes and cuts thier throats. Just to make sure they stay dead. Of course, thats because the one time I didnt the BBEG came back REALLY pissed off.

AKA_Bait
2007-09-05, 10:44 AM
See, thats why my CN Swashbuckler makes sure to stab all corpse in the eyes and cuts thier throats. Just to make sure they stay dead. Of course, thats because the one time I didnt the BBEG came back REALLY pissed off.

My party will frequently take a hand or an arm or some such and toss it away someplace else. They learned their lesson about leaving corpses of foes intact when a few came back after being raised.

skywalker
2007-09-05, 12:00 PM
I once had a player arrange the bodies of a group of ghouls into a gruesome display of wanton horror, leaving a sign warning that this was what happened to his enemies.

Me: "And your alignment is... What?"
PC: "Chaotic good!"
Me: "How the heck is this chaotic good!?"
PC: "It's... Interpretive art!"
Me: "..."

My group once did the head-on-a-pike thing, then our wizard cast magic mouth on the orc's head, which made it say "run while you still can" in orc. I think it was a good act, still, because it was our castle they had raided and taken over. We'd only been gone a couple of months.

John Campbell
2007-09-05, 12:26 PM
I am filled with shock and awe that immeadite zombification didn't make the list. I mean, you can use necromancy for good. Think how many lives you'd save with zombie town defenders! How much easier would life be with farmers who worked all night and day, with out even the most minimal requirements? Bearers of my portable throne... I mean, uh.... Greater Good. Yeah, that's right. Greater Good.

But zombies smell awful. And I mean even worse than the half-orc barbarian.

I'd do skeletons, though - we killed these bulettes once that I think would've made stylin' rides once skeletonized - except the paladin gets all uptight about things like that. Actually, I don't really care what the paladin thinks... if he complains, I'll just say I was possessed by a devil, and at least I didn't commit genocide like he did, and that'll shut him up. But the cleric is also against that sort of thing, and him I actually respect, despite him being an elf and a divine caster. Also, he has enough feats and stuff to buff his turning and area spells that only work on undead and evil outsiders that he'd obliterate them with the collateral damage the first time we got attacked by hostile undead or evil outsiders (and we get attacked by evil outsiders all the frickin' time).

Chaos Bringer
2007-09-05, 01:27 PM
I had a Necromancer in EQRPG that brought an orc back into the positives before he died for the express purpose to cast Siphon Strength on. Before the DM checked the rules on the spell, we all though I could drain him down to zero and gain an additional 18 STR or so for my weak caster self. If the character survived another couple levels, he wouldve gotten a spell to give his own strength to another, so i was going to use that to funnel everything i got from my orc to the fighter. Its a shame that fighter was the eventual cause of this characters death.

Erkira the Red
2007-09-06, 03:00 PM
Has anyone else noticed that it is mainly barbarians who carry/eat enemy body parts? I mean every other class seams to be missing out on all the fun. Or maybe just laughing at those people is the fun…

Citizen Joe
2007-09-06, 03:29 PM
I had a Necromancer in EQRPG that brought an orc back into the positives before he died for the express purpose to cast Siphon Strength on.

I think there's a scene in a Star Wars Jedi Academy where you have to decide between killing someone or putting away your light saber. In either case, I think you have to fight a boss guy immediately after. Instead of killing the guy, I used drain repeatedly to get my health up and then made the decision. I think I usually put away the light saber because the other way was too hard.

Ninian ta Rouge
2007-09-06, 05:49 PM
I’ve decided that since this forum is up, that on Saturdays I will come up with a list of stuff you can do with one type of monster corpse. Have a nice day!!!

lesserarchangel
2007-09-06, 07:39 PM
In my last campaign, only one character carried body parts about: the raptoran monk. He had an unfortunate habit of getting killed, so the druid would cast Last Breath on him, and he carried pieces of his old bodies to make sure people recognized him.

Dervag
2007-09-06, 09:11 PM
The gelatinous tesseract beats them all.:smalltongue:At that point, you're getting Lovecraftian.


My group once did the head-on-a-pike thing, then our wizard cast magic mouth on the orc's head, which made it say "run while you still can" in orc. I think it was a good act, still, because it was our castle they had raided and taken over. We'd only been gone a couple of months.Wow. That's pretty clever. And very, very medieval.


Actually, a scavenger is MUCH more likely to simply run off with the dead corpse than risk itself in a fight.The fantastic scavengers statted out in D&D aren't normal scavengers, though. A carrion crawler is big enough that it's not going to give up a good feed without some credible resistance; and a gelatinous cube is far too stupid to flee a food source, since it possesses no way to distinguish a threat from another food source.

Jimbob
2007-09-07, 07:15 AM
One of my old characters managed to cut off a rust monsters antenna. He attached it to a quarterstaff and went around rusting every thing. Very handy in combact if you can hit some thing with a huge AC, not so good when you have confusion cast on you, fail your save and rust the fighters +2 light fortification full plate. lets just say he was not best pleased:smalleek:

edit: and before any one says, it was a magical sword and it made its save!

Citizen Joe
2007-09-07, 07:34 AM
I think someone mentioned the rust monster tentacle trick before... but I think there was something about it being supernatural and not working when the creature was dead/detached from it.

Note however that it isn't just the tentacles that rust, just touching metal to the body will cause rusting. So, if you can shrink one down, muzzle it with leather and then attach it with a leather thong to a stick, you can have a rust monster flail.

Of course, there exists the Rusting grasp spell and some gauntlets that do the same thing, so that might be going out of your way.

Machete
2007-09-07, 09:56 AM
I like the museum idea. Get stuff taxadermied or do it yourself and have the skeletons there too. Open up your own community museum. I'd probably keep semi-sentient stuff in the back room for adults only though and not do that with sentient stuff that can grasp the concept of "revenge". A great way to bring in tourist money for a community, make most of your investment back, and draw in interesting NPCs from other places.

Although a good precaution would be to cast something on these things or teh area so the ycouldn't be made into undead.

Bender
2007-09-07, 10:20 AM
Actually, it's quite reasonable to assume museums like that already exists in bigger cities, for scientific and educational purposes. It's no problem to include skeletons of sentient beings, as long as you include humans, elves, dwarves... the other races shouldn't feel focussed. In RL, there are a lot of museums with skeletons of humans as well, so why not.
In fact, in our colonial museum we even had a stuffed black "savage" (I don't mean to offend anyone, I think almost everyone disapproves, and is disgusted, of this nowadays), which was a scandal a few years back, but luckily they transferred him back to Congo and gave him a proper burial. If they stuffed humans in the real world, I can surely see it happen in some D&D settings.

Arang
2007-09-07, 11:15 AM
Quoth Arang:Does this actually exist? Because if not, I absolutely must design one.

*Googles around*

OK, here goes:

Gelatinous Tesseract
Large outsider (augmented ooze)
Initiative: -5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 5 (-1 size, -4 Dex), touch 5, flat-footed 5
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+7
Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6 plus 1d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +2 melee (1d6 plus 1d6 acid)
Space/Reach: 10 ft. x 10 ft. x 10 ft. x 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Acid, engulf, paralysis, phase
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60 ft., immunity to electricity, transparent, blinking, astral shift
Saves: Fort +9, Ref -3, Will -3
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 3, Con 26, Int 3, Wis 3, Cha 3
Skills: Climb +7
Feats: —
Environment: Astral plane or underground
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: 1/10th coins, 50% goods (no nonmetal or nonstone), 50% items (no nonmetal or nonstone)
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 5-12 HD (Large); 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Slightly more cunning than their material counterparts, gelatinous tesseracts ooze through the narrow spaces between dimensions, feeding off of ectoplasmic debris.

Combat
A gelatinous tesseract attacks by extending a pseudopod in any direction from its body, including crossplanar directions. It can also engulf foes.

Acid (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract's acid does not affect metal or stone.

Engulf (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract can engulf Large or smaller creatures in the same manner as a gelatinous cube. When the gelatinous tesseract shifts planes in any manner, any creature it grapples is shifted with it.

Paralysis (Ex): Any creature struck by the tesseract's slam, engulf, or phase attack must make a DC 20 Will save or be paralyzed by the sheer logical incongruity of the creature. This paralysis lasts 3d6 rounds.

Phase (Su): If a gelatinous tesseract blinks out (see below) just as it's attacking, its attack does not fail. Any attack rolls made while blinking ignore the target's armor and natural armor (except for armor due to force effects), but do no physical damage. Acid damage and paralysis, however, still apply.

Blindsight (Ex): A gelatinous tesseract is blind, but can sense all creatures within 60 feet via astral perturbations from the creature. This ability functions across planes, and the range is 120 feet for detecting outsiders.

Transparent (Ex): Gelatinous tesseracts are hard to see, even under ideal conditions, and it takes a DC 15 Spot check to notice one. Creatures who fail to notice a tesseract and walk into it are automatically engulfed.

Blinking (Su): A gelatinous tesseract continually blinks in and out of the ethereal plane, as the Blink (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/blink.htm) spell. This ability cannot be dispelled.

Astral shift (Su): A gelatinous tesseract can shift entirely into the Astral Plane as a move action, or into the material plane as a full-round action. Both of these abilities are usable at will.

I am shocked and awed that this really exists.:smalleek:

Kaelik
2007-09-07, 12:34 PM
I think there's a scene in a Star Wars Jedi Academy where you have to decide between killing someone or putting away your light saber. In either case, I think you have to fight a boss guy immediately after. Instead of killing the guy, I used drain repeatedly to get my health up and then made the decision. I think I usually put away the light saber because the other way was too hard.

I remember that choice well. I saved first and then beat it going both ways. First time I killed him. Also, Drain?? what a waste. Best force power in the game=heal. Since you can blend good and evil powers just grab a single rank of heal, and you will always be at full health before every single fight. Though usually I max it out so I can heal mid fight without turning off the saber.

I don't know if you mean that it was immediately harder or harder later. I had no problems with any fights in that game up until the very end of the evil path. In both good and evil paths you must defeat two final bosses. But in the evil one, the second is Kyle Katarn. And he is a punk. He runs around using heal too, which defeats my never fail backup plan of run around healing and force lightning people until eventually attrition takes it's toll. (Only ever use that on bosses, but still.)

The best part of Academy is playing with grip. Grab, Move over cliff, Drop. Best method of killing people ever.

Citizen Joe
2007-09-07, 01:26 PM
Also, Drain?? what a waste. Best force power in the game=heal. Since you can blend good and evil powers just grab a single rank of heal, and you will always be at full health before every single fight. Though usually I max it out so I can heal mid fight without turning off the saber.

I don't know if you mean that it was immediately harder or harder later.

I loved drain. Especially at the beginning where you have to actually grab the person, bend them over and suck the life out of them up close. Really gets the evil juices flowing. I think you can also go past max health with drain. I went with that Twilek chick and went as dark as I could with her clothes... Always raised an eyebrow when Skywalker said I was getting too evil... err... dark. I took it in the rear a couple times because there was nothing to drain in some areas, but the sheer evilosity of it was just too awesome.

As to the hardness, I meant that you had to immediately fight someone, so you needed to be full power before the fight (or 150% with drain). I loved that game... I think I played through the whole thing in a long weekend. Pesky thing had these HUGE save files though. Each choice could be a mistake so you need to save often.

Fighteer
2007-09-07, 01:38 PM
The best part of Academy is playing with grip. Grab, Move over cliff, Drop. Best method of killing people ever.
I agree 100%. Once you got Grip 3 it was all over for the vast majority of normal enemies, and even a few bosses. Grip, fling, AAAGGHH. Grip, fling, AAAGGHH. Such fun.

Erkira the Red
2007-09-07, 02:05 PM
When you really think about it all the monster corpses are a chef’s dream. More people should really take chef as a profession, think of all the unique dishes you could sell to NPC suckers or to Fear Factor or even cater to the evil villains (thus gaining easy access to their base). Owlbear pie or haggis made from real sea hags. Now doesn’t that sound appetizing!!!

Chronos
2007-09-07, 02:17 PM
I am shocked and awed that this really exists.No, you misunderstand. It didn't exist, so I was obligated to create it. So this isn't evidence that there's someone else out there with the same twisted imagination as you, just that there's someone who appreciates your twisted imagination.

Lolzords
2007-09-07, 04:27 PM
What to do with kobolds....

I don't know about the other monsters, but my fighter carried a burlap sack full of body parts around on his back, worked well as an improvised club when my greatsword got broken and I had to snap one off a trap.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-07, 04:47 PM
When you really think about it all the monster corpses are a chef’s dream. More people should really take chef as a profession, think of all the unique dishes you could sell to NPC suckers or to Fear Factor or even cater to the evil villains (thus gaining easy access to their base). Owlbear pie or haggis made from real sea hags. Now doesn’t that sound appetizing!!!

In the real world, most people tend not to eat predators. There's something about the taste that turns them off.

That said, adventurers and BBEG's aren't exactly normal people - they'd probably enjoy owlbear pie or whatever. Go nuts!

Mewtarthio
2007-09-07, 05:02 PM
In the real world, most people tend not to eat predators. There's something about the taste that turns them off.

That said, adventurers and BBEG's aren't exactly normal people - they'd probably enjoy owlbear pie or whatever. Go nuts!

Not to mention the sheer joy that must come from eating a dragon. Okay, the commoners probably have silly superstitious fears such as "Eating this will bring a curse on our villiage!" or "The paladins will kill anyone who has slain such a noble Gold Dragon!" or "I just saw you pouring poison on that! You weren't even trying to be subtle!", but that's when you whip out the high-level Enchantment effects and make them agree with you.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-07, 05:06 PM
Not to mention the sheer joy that must come from eating a dragon.
"Mmm... it tastes like burning and wanton destruction!"

Citizen Joe
2007-09-07, 05:07 PM
In the real world, most people tend not to eat predators. There's something about the taste that turns them off.

People eat alligator meat... and fish... both of those are predators.

People don't eat predators much because they are dangerous to hunt. Grazers are much easier to hunt and kill.

People don't eat people because people based diseases can be passed down that way. Non-humanoids tend to have diseases that are sufficiently different as to not pass to another species.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-07, 05:09 PM
There are exceptions, of course - alligator, snake... some people eat shark tails.

When was the last time you heard of someone eating a lion?

EDIT: I suppose I should call it a "pure" predator, a carnivore.

cody.burton
2007-09-07, 05:16 PM
The reason that people don't eat lion is not because it tastes weird (from what I've heard, it tastes just like any other red meat), but because killing a lion is so much more inefficient and dangerous than killing a lion's prey.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-07, 05:26 PM
Could be, I guess.

I was thinking of the Maasai, whose young men will try to kill a lion and wear its pelt for status, but leave the lion meat for the jackals and other scavengers.

Thanatos 51-50
2007-09-07, 05:48 PM
Large group of random bandits set up a "toll booth" on the road?

After mercilessly slaughtering them all (My personal favorite involved Burning Hands on the lone survivior hiding in the tree they used to block the road), neatly stack their bodies like cordwood and just keep on rolling.

Offer no explanation.

Its a scene full of the macabre funnies.

Chronos
2007-09-07, 09:44 PM
In the real world, most people tend not to eat predators. There's something about the taste that turns them off.Well, they're omnivores, but I can say from experience that black bear is actually pretty tasty. I've also had rattlesnake and alligator, but those were in a sausage, so it tasted pretty much like any other sausage.

leperkhaun
2007-09-08, 01:54 AM
we made a trophy hall and would meet with all of our clients there as well as having guided tours. it allowed us to charge more for our merc work and also increased our reputation.

Behind the trophies magical images would play out key points in the battles. It was a bit expensive to set up, but was really nice.

Bender
2007-09-08, 02:03 AM
A lot of monsters, and especially dragons, are probably a very valuable source of alchemical and medicinal ingredients, objects for good luck, good for whatever ails you...
I heard tigers are very valuable in Chinese medicine
If you know the right merchants, you can probably get a lot of gold for about any mythical body part.

Fualkner Asiniti
2007-09-08, 10:09 AM
I had a wizard that gathered body parts (Especally Brains) and put them in oil of Unaging (Which he called Formaldide :smallwink:) He collected samples of everything, and even made a hat out of a goblin's face.

Belial_the_Leveler
2007-09-08, 10:37 AM
The dead walk. You know, like the warlock invocation that animates dead things? And since we're extra-munchkin, take supernatural transformation for that SLA so it doesn't have a material cost. Extra-large undead army.

Ninian ta Rouge
2007-09-08, 06:09 PM
hi everyone todays saturday so today im am going to have a list of what to do with dead mind flayers
1. cut off its head and nail it on a to a pieace of wood then hang it on the wall i ur base.
2. stuff it and put it in a museme.
3. burn it.
4. use it as a undead minion.
5.leave it to rot.
6.make clamary out of it then sell it for extrem amounts of money.
7. srafice it to ur god.
8. get its skull and hang it on ur door.
9. leave it out side of a inhabited mind flayer base.
10. same as 9. but frame it so the mind flayers think that drow did it.

bosssmiley
2007-09-09, 06:52 AM
The gelatinous tesseract beats them all.:smalltongue:

"It folds itself back into the observable universe...around you. Take engulf damage please." I am stealing that idea so hard now! :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

As for lewting the dead of their organs.

There's the trophy collector feat in the PHB2 ("Wear severed bits of the conquered dead for that cool 'scary wildman' look!") which was expanded on in a Class Act in Dragon #33X.

Power components for spells and item creation are mentioned in UA, ECS and in an excellent article in Dragon #318 (or #319) IIRC. Want to know what happens when you cast Fireball with a phoenix feather as a material component? How about summoning monsters with a Devil's heart? Gorgon's blood as an item creation component? :smallbiggrin:

There's also the Dragoncraft feat (I think that's the name...). Handy for those nutters who want to make dragonhide armour, tibium flutes, or even a fireproof longboat from dragon wings, complete with *real* dragonhead prow.

Citizen Joe
2007-09-09, 08:27 AM
Note that magic item creation, and spellbook inks involve some unspecified materials. Unfortunately it falls entirely within the DM's domain as to what those materials are. If you are hunting though, it would help if you had a means of preserving your catch. Often, components need to be fresh, so a rotten corpse is useless. In most cases, flesh can be sold as dog feed (or other food sources).

You won't get much relative to the value of the finished product (as usual). For starters, they need to process it as a crafted item, so that's 1/3rd. Then, since they didn't ask for the stuff, you'll get half price on top of that. That still doesn't tell you how much something is worth.

You're probably better off setting some prices with the various crafters before hand.

Ninian ta Rouge
2007-09-17, 11:44 AM
This week i am going to dussicuss what to do with dire boars

1. stuff it and donate it to a musuem
2. make it into a bad ass cloak
3. use it as carpet.
4. donate its meat to poor poeple.
5. leave its roting corspe out side a temple of a god u hate.
6. use it as a rode block.
7. have a picture painted of u standing on top of it.

Tobrian
2007-09-17, 01:50 PM
Well, the problem with dragon steaks, is that most people would shy away from eating anything that could have been talking to them a few hours beforehand.

Seeing how the dragon would have no problem eating the humaoid character...

In fantasy world, cannibalism seems to be defined solely by "it is of the same race as yourself?", not by "was it sentient?". Goblinoids eat elves but not each other. Feral halflings in Dark Sun ate elves, too. :smallbiggrin: Real-world humans eat apes, not just monkeys, but apes... even though chimps are more closely related to us than to all other great apes. And in stone-age societies all across the world, ritual cannibalism or cannibalism due to starvation was widespread. What does that tell us about humans?


We had a long discussion about whether it was okay to eat a sentient creature? Quite an arguement. At what point is it an evil act? Creature in point here was a displacer beast. I was iffy, group thout it was okay.

Well, that's just it, isn't it? It's ok to do it (i.e. eating a dead enemy, skinning it and making hide armor and trophies from its body parts) when you're a member of a Core race and a PC, it's not ok to do the same when you're a monster-race or monstrous humanoid NPC. RPGs like D&D and Earthdawn explicitely encourage the idea of making special weapons, shields and hide armor from monsters like say dragons, even if the dragon was intelligent and your PC is a lizard man. Look at all the DRAGON magazine articles about the hundred uses of a dragon corpse or how to harvest power components from slain monsters. D&D writers just assume the PCs will loot the opponents' bodies.

But just imagine the hubbub if a hobgoblin or polymorphed dragon walked around in a leather armor made from human skin! If a human wizard carries a spellbook bound in dragon skin, it's a collector's item. A magical tome bound in human skin is always a dark grimoire. (Technically, not even Lovecraft's fictional Necronomicon was bound in human skin, although some later authors have claimed it was... ok, even the library of Arkham doesn't have the original Arabian edition.) :smallwink:

Actually, in my group the paladin and the CG warrior declined to loot dead human bodies on a battlefield, until I hinted that going through the pockets would not cost the paladin his paladin status. It's not like the dead can take it with them. I would have drawn the line though if the paladin had started cutting off fingers for gold rings and ripping out teeth (for making artificial dentures).

I remember our Earthdawn group got into the habit of tasting every monster we had slain that looked edible (except for the zombies). There was a large wading bird that paralysed you and on top of trying to eat you made your skin orange for days!! Which infuriated our Tsrang (lizard man) so much (he had been very proud of his flawless green scales, preening every day) that even though he usually didnt eat meat he kept eating dried bird jerky "as an act of revenge" for a whole month afterwards, with a smile of grim satisfaction.
The dragon lizard steaks were fabulous, though. And my nethermancer got a nice skull helmet and a white fur cloak out of a meeting with some unfriendly ice monkeys.