Henchmen Benefits/Rights

[Dryken]

I have to say, I really respect the ordinary henchman.

There they are, dressed in a RIDICULOUS outfit that serve no other purpose than to match their boss' theme and fighting a superhero knowing damn well that they are going to get their butts kicked. And yet still they do it. Amazing.

So with the times-a-changing, a villain needs to include employee benefits if he/she wants a good, loyal henchman. So what suggestions do you all have? A good dental plan goes without saying, but is there anything else we can put in the United Henchman's Union 502 list of employee demands?

[Brickwall]

You get to work near an active volcano without being thrown in.

You obviously don't get the concept of henchmen. I'm dictating this post to you with one of mine, and I hit him whenever he makes a typo. He made 8. He now has eight bruises.

Also, this probably goes in Media Discussion, because most talk of henchmen refers to media.

[Dryken]

You obviously don't get the concept of henchmen. I'm dictating this post to you with one of mine, and I hit him whenever he makes a typo. He made 8. He now has eight bruises.


Oh, I get the concept of henchmen. I just thought that since things have been getting more progressive over the years that we should take a look at what might appeal people to a career of henching. Hitting them over and over again only goes so far, and word of mouth about the treatment of henchmen by their employers has led to a decline in applicants.

And you're right...this might be better in Media Discussions although I can't for the life of me figure out how to move this thread...

[Last_resort_33]

And you're right...this might be better in Media Discussions although I can't for the life of me figure out how to move this thread...

Get one of your henchmen to do it.

[Brickwall]

Or ask the mods. That's what they do, since they seem to have abandoned socializing regularly with us :smallfrown:

[Telonius]

Well, the most obvious benefit would be a training voucher. Marksmanship, basic guard training, all of that stuff would be good to give them. Regular sight and hearing screening, too; can't have the heroes sneaking into my Secret Lair because Bob the Guard has an undiagnosed hearing loss or astigmatism.

[Amotis]

And red shirts. You can't forget the red shirts.

Why give them good things? Machiavelli got it right. :smallamused:

[Totally Guy]

Villains aren't the only ones with henchmen.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v44/macdonnell/Toothsoldier.bmp.jpg

This guy works for the tooth fairy, there must be at least 20 more working there. They get decent dental at least but what a silly hat!

[Nibleswick]

Well, they need a good retirement plan, time off for family, vacations, and sick leave. Ooo, and maybe a "Bring the Family to Work Day" those are always good.

Well, that's all I can think of.

[FoE]

The key benefit to being a henchman is that, on the slim chance the villain succeeds in his evil plan, you WON'T be among the dozens/hundreds/thousands/MILLIONS slaughtered when it comes to fruition. Even if you're more likely to get killed off in a climactic battle with the heroes.

[Tamburlaine]

You get to bask in the warming glow of an evil genius:smallcool:

[Vonriel]

You could make it a habit of regularly launching missiles into populated areas, and telling future henchman that working with you will guarantee their own and their family's safety. That should work.

[StickMan]

Oh my cousin is a Henchmen, my god you should see the benefits and the pay is outrageous. I mean yea sure he could get killed at any time but there is a massive life insurance policy on him and that is how he got his super model, gold digging wife. Lots of people think Henchmen have it rough but the truth is they have a really good union.

[JackMage666]

I really never understood why henchmen did it.

After the good guy single handedly wipes the floor with 20 of your collegues, at once, you'd think it'd be time to move on. He won, you're not gonna be able to take him on your own. Go home, call it a day. Sure, you'll have to read the classifieds, again, but it beats the alternative.

Yes, I get it, you're like the mailboy at a huge corporation. You've worked with these people, nobody knows your name, and noone really cares. The boss is a jerk, and there's always someone trying to bring down business. It's only a basic level of intelligence that is needed, though, to tell you that you're not goig to be able to beat Super-Mega-Awesome Man, because he already fought you're manager, and won. He beat the manager's favorites, too. Just go home, eat some soup, and go to bed. Trust me, you'll thank me.

[kriebly]

If you need a model for how to motivate henchmen, check out this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_one-time_characters_from_The_Simpsons#Hank_Scorpio

...and remember: to become a henchman, you must first master being a henchboy.

[wojonatior]

i would demand that the boss calles me by my name not "you over there"

[Arang]

You get to play with giant lasers daily, not to mention all the guns, helicopters, experimental jet fighters, tanks, piranhas, sharks, robots and mutated sea cods you get to play around with.

That, and the dental plan is fabulous. Just look at Jaws' dentures. That's high-quality materials and craftsmanship custom made for each individual customer at no personal cost right there.

[Robberbaron]

Minions are better, there's no need for benefits, rarely live long enough.

[Xuincherguixe]

Bah. The whole point of these guys is that they don't have rights. If they ever dare form a Union I'm going to sic my spider drones on them.

Fun fact! A spider drone has enough strength to snap someone in half.

[StickMan]

Bah. The whole point of these guys is that they don't have rights. If they ever dare form a Union I'm going to sic my spider drones on them.

Fun fact! A spider drone has enough strength to snap someone in half.

Fun fact! Who does the maintenance on your spider drones, thats right the Henchmen they know all the weak spots.:smallwink:

[wojonatior]

but what if before they make a union they make drone fixing drones?

[kriebly]

but what if before they make a union they make drone fixing drones?
And who fixes the drone-fixers?

[Highwarlord]

The drones.

My henchmen work. How else could I find the time to slaughter heroes and still make forum posts? Since they're henchmen, they like working (or at least like it better than being hurt in ways that hurt them)

[The Evil Thing]

Hmm, perhaps you should try to make your evil lair OSHA-compliant. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main.NoOshaCompliance)

Henchmen would be much happier knowing they have a safe work environmnet. Maybe even save the piranha pool for special occasions.

[blademaster42]

Tailored uniforms for all my minions.

Bonus benefit, when the unlikely hero knocks out a guard and steals his uniform, the poor fit will give him away.

Thank the dark gods of evil for the evil overlord list.