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Imperial_Sun
2018-05-20, 09:56 PM
Hi everyone,

This is one of my first home-brewed items that I want to implement in a campaign I am running. So here is the down and dirty of it.

Twisted Iron and Emerald Shard: Magic Item, Unique, Sentient (tied to a deity the party has encountered ((more of less guidance and impromptu quest giver)) The item can speak, read, and understand one or more languages. In addition, the item can communicate telepathically with any character that carries or wields it.
Must be attuned, can not be attuned if lawful good without an alignment shift to neutral good. The shard allows the PC to summon any weapon they are proficient with at will. As the wielder slays enemies (killing blow) the shard gains strength. Every 20* enemies slayed their souls give the shard a level. Levels 1-5: +1 to hit; on hit 50% change to deal 1d4 additional piercing damage. Levels 6-9: +2 to hit; on hit deal 2d4 additional piercing damage.

I know this is basically the Hexblade ability with a buff but I wanted some feedback to make sure that it would feel relevant in mid and late game.
I am still trying to figure out that what would be a good capstone for lvl 10. Maybe something like a heal that can be used once a day or +3 with the 2d4 piercing and the target must make a con save or take 2d4 of piercing as shards left by the strikes begin to grow within the wound for X number of rounds.

JoshuaZ
2018-05-20, 10:20 PM
Immediate reaction is that this should maybe be an artifact rather than an item. Also the name is really good.

Twizzly513
2018-05-20, 10:35 PM
First off, fun item! Definitely an interesting idea. As for feedback...



Twisted Iron and Emerald Shard: Magic Item, Unique, Sentient (tied to a deity the party has encountered ((more of less guidance and impromptu quest giver))
Just as a nitpicky formatting thing, the order goes: [Item type], [rarity] (requires attunement)
I believe, then, that the information might look something like this: Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement), although obviously rarity could change for preference. I'm assuming Unique was something used in other editions, although I'm not sure. As above, artifact isn't bad either.


The item can speak, read, and understand one or more languages. In addition, the item can communicate telepathically with any character that carries or wields it.
I might specify a couple languages at least. DM's always have the ability to change or modify an item as they see fit, especially other homebrew. Common might not be bad, depending on the flavor you want, and Celestial could be another option, although that still depends upon the flavor of the item, which apparently varies.


can not be attuned if lawful good without an alignment shift to neutral good
This seems vague/confusing. I'm not sure what it means exactly.


The shard allows the PC to summon any weapon they are proficient with at will.
Specify some condition to use this ability, such as: When holding the shard, you can use your bonus action to transform the shard into any simple or martial weapon with which you are proficient.

Players have this way of messing things up. Specifying conditions for abilities like this can be very important to avoid confrontations later on. My condition was just an example, depending on how exactly you envision the shard being used.


As the wielder slays enemies (killing blow) the shard gains strength. Every 20* enemies slayed their souls give the shard a level. Levels 1-5: +1 to hit; on hit 50% change to deal 1d4 additional piercing damage. Levels 6-9: +2 to hit; on hit deal 2d4 additional piercing damage.
This is fun. 50% to potentially deal an extra 1d4 seems like a bit more dice rolling than necessary, though. I might just leave it at 1d4.


I am still trying to figure out that what would be a good capstone for lvl 10. Maybe something like a heal that can be used once a day or +3 with the 2d4 piercing and the target must make a con save or take 2d4 of piercing as shards left by the strikes begin to grow within the wound for X number of rounds.
Making it a +3 would make sense to me. Again, the Con save or more damage, especially over time would likely be quite cumbersome with the dice being rolled. At least, it would as a passive ability. As a limited-use ability it would feel cool, and you'd just have to up the original power level you had thought. You could also add in damaging weapons/shields/armor, knockback, radiant/necrotic damage as it blinds or sucks the soul away. It doesn't even have to change all that much on how the ability is used, as long as it makes the players feel cool.

Again, good work for a beginning homebrew in a campaign! Hope I was helpful, and good luck!:smallbiggrin:

Imperial_Sun
2018-05-20, 11:08 PM
Immediate reaction is that this should maybe be an artifact rather than an item. Also the name is really good.

Thank you! I like the change to artifact. Still somewhat new to the whole life as a DM and need to get all the terms in order.

Imperial_Sun
2018-05-20, 11:26 PM
First off, fun item! Definitely an interesting idea. As for feedback...


Just as a nitpicky formatting thing, the order goes: [Item type], [rarity] (requires attunement)
I believe, then, that the information might look something like this: Wondrous item, legendary (requires attunement), although obviously rarity could change for preference. I'm assuming Unique was something used in other editions, although I'm not sure. As above, artifact isn't bad either.


I might specify a couple languages at least. DM's always have the ability to change or modify an item as they see fit, especially other homebrew. Common might not be bad, depending on the flavor you want, and Celestial could be another option, although that still depends upon the flavor of the item, which apparently varies.


This seems vague/confusing. I'm not sure what it means exactly.


Specify some condition to use this ability, such as: When holding the shard, you can use your bonus action to transform the shard into any simple or martial weapon with which you are proficient.

Players have this way of messing things up. Specifying conditions for abilities like this can be very important to avoid confrontations later on. My condition was just an example, depending on how exactly you envision the shard being used.


This is fun. 50% to potentially deal an extra 1d4 seems like a bit more dice rolling than necessary, though. I might just leave it at 1d4.


Making it a +3 would make sense to me. Again, the Con save or more damage, especially over time would likely be quite cumbersome with the dice being rolled. At least, it would as a passive ability. As a limited-use ability it would feel cool, and you'd just have to up the original power level you had thought. You could also add in damaging weapons/shields/armor, knockback, radiant/necrotic damage as it blinds or sucks the soul away. It doesn't even have to change all that much on how the ability is used, as long as it makes the players feel cool.

Again, good work for a beginning homebrew in a campaign! Hope I was helpful, and good luck!:smallbiggrin:

Everything you stated is solid advice; I need to flesh out more of the details (figure out how to put this deity into words that way I can give this weapon some personality on this thread) and will go through and make some edits to the original post to have it flow better and fit the standard formatting. But really, thank you.

thoroughlyS
2018-05-21, 12:17 AM
I definitely recommend trying to come up with a name for the item, and moving the current name into a short description. The idea of an item that gains abilities over time is fairly common, but this implementation is problematic for a few reasons. Most prominently, tying the progression to slaying enemies reinforces "murderhobo" player behavior. Perhaps instead, tie the progression to a series of goals set forth by this deity. Secondly, the actual metric used is pretty odd as well. Killing 20 creatures advances the weapon by one "level", but not every level actually does something. Assuming the weapon starts at "level 1", it actually gains powers after every 80 kills. Thirdly, it only gains bonuses to hit and damage. That makes it a very one dimensional item. Fourthly, having the damage only apply by chance makes it more tedious to use at the table.

Mathematically, "levels 1-5" of this weapon are nearly identical to a +1 weapon, which is an uncommon item. "Levels 6-9" are like a slightly better +2 weapon, bringing it up to rare. "Level 10" is effectively a +3 weapon with a rider (and a fairly tedious one at that), so it ends at very rare.

I need to flesh out more of the details (figure out how to put this deity into words that way I can give this weapon some personality on this thread)
I think this is probably the most important step to refining this concept.

...will go through and make some edits to the original post to have it flow better and fit the standard formatting.
Item Name
item type, rarity (attunement)

One or two sentences of descriptive text. Mechanical text about the item's properties.
Property Name. Text describing property. Repeat for each weapon property.
Sentience. Item Name is a sentient alignment item with an Intelligence of X, a Wisdom of Y, and a Charisma of Z. It has senses out to a range of X feet.
The item can speak, read and understand languages.
Personality. Sentence describing item's quirks.
Sentence describing item's motivations.
Sentence describing item's attitude.
Outline of when an item comes into conflict with the bearer.