Copper dragon joke help

[UnwiseAlistair]

I’m DMing for a small group, and I have a plan for an npc that the party will meet soon. They recently learned of a copper dragon that used to live in the mountain near town, but that dragon vanished about a decade ago. The npc in question is this dragon in human form, and I plan on including some hints about her true nature.
She runs a tavern, and she has brownish-red hair. Small hint there. The other is that she’ll constantly be making bad jokes.

Which brings me back to the title. Could you please help me come up with a bunch of bad jokes a copper dragon running a tavern may tell. Puns, knock-knock jokes, whatever you think will make my players groan. Thank you!

[Pefgis]

Is her name Allie Cohol?
I think there is a post about this on Tumblr going around. Seems like a fun concept.

[Unoriginal]

Any time someone ask for her opinion/contribution/version of anything dragon-related: "I can't believe you're dragon me into this".

When talking about something too big for the players: "it's like a dragon with a parasite it can't reach: the problem is on a different scale."

[DMThac0]

I'll go with:

You hear about the Tabaxi monk who fought a Bulette? It bit off the guy's entire left side of his body, fortunately there was a cleric nearby, he's all right now.

Why don't skeletons go trick or treating? They've got no body to go with.

[UnwiseAlistair]

Is her name Allie Cohol?
I think there is a post about this on Tumblr going around. Seems like a fun concept.

That’s where that came from! Thank you, the idea had been rattling about in my subconscious for a while, and I couldn’t remember where I’d seen it before. Yeah, it was inspired by that post that I half-remembered.

[Foxolicious]

Calling fat cats dragons or any fat animal becuase thier belly's drag on the floor

[KorvinStarmast]

Which brings me back to the title. Could you please help me come up with a bunch of bad jokes a copper dragon running a tavern may tell. Puns, knock-knock jokes, whatever you think will make my players groan. Thank you! Terrible jokes we can do ...

"Try the small seafood platter: it's half shrimp and half ling" (halfling, small, get it?)

"Here's a pint; it's good for what ale's you." (Ale, get it?)

"My old boyfriend, the gnome, drank a lot and so spent a lot of time in the jakes. He was a high level whizzer." (Wizard, get it?) (jakes ~ latrine/water closet)

(responding to any amorous advance)
"Sorry, I'm looking for a wizard with a staff, not an apprentice with a wand."

"Here, have some mint tea or chew on some parsley. You've got hell hound breath."

"Of course I call my bouncer Tigger. Doesn't everyone?" (That's a gratuitous Winnie the Pooh reference)

"Is that a glaive in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

"Make like your ears and get to the point." (If an elf is waxing eloquent, as vaarsuvius tends to do ...)

"Yes, the chicken stew is like my hair: ginger."

[Specter]

What's the difference between a male dwarf and a female one?

None.

[UnwiseAlistair]

These are all fun, but I think dragon puns may be tipping my hand a bit too much.

[Willie the Duck]

-'Want to hear a dirty joke?'
-'A Halfling fell in the mud.'

-'Want to hear a clean joke?'
-'The Halfling took a bath.'

-'Want to hear a very clean joke?'
-'The Halfling took a bath with bubbles.'

-'Want to hear a very dirty joke?'
-'Bubbles is my pet otyugh.'

[Armored Walrus]

I was thinking more along the lines of metal puns. I haven't ironed out any ideas of any yet, but I'd get unalloyed pleasure if someone else could share some. Meanwhile, I'll just steel myself for everyone's feedback.

[Beleriphon]

Dad jokes. Search the internet for dad jokes.

http://pun.me/pages/dad-jokes.php

A sample: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it

[hymer]

There are the old fallbacks:

"How do you recognize the goblin from the other pirates? He's the one with patches over both eyes."
"How do you get a one-armed orc down from a flagpole? Wave at him."

Then you can transpose some standards:

"Later I'll tell you the one about the two elves and the mule. You'll get a kick out of it."

And then there are the ones that just fit:

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

[DMThac0]

I was thinking more along the lines of metal puns. I haven't ironed out any ideas of any yet, but I'd get unalloyed pleasure if someone else could share some. Meanwhile, I'll just steel myself for everyone's feedback.

That was almost unbearable, the lines between funny and groan-worthy are fuzzy. However I have to give you credit, you did pandar to the audience. Unfortunately if you continue that type of input it may lead to a grizzly sequence of posts.

[Armored Walrus]

That was almost unbearable, the lines between funny and groan-worthy are fuzzy. However I have to give you credit, you did pandar to the audience. Unfortunately if you continue that type of input it may lead to a grizzly sequence of posts.

Listen, if you don't like the smell of what I forged for you, just remember, "He who smelt it, dealt it." You can't expect me to be the only one who tempers my humor.

[hymer]

Listen, if you don't like the smell of what I forged for you, just remember, "He who smelt it, dealt it." You can't expect me to be the only one who tempers my humor.
Well, you've shown your mettle, gotten down to brass tacks, and no irony is intended.

[Armored Walrus]

Well, you've shown your mettle, gotten down to brass tacks, and no irony is intended.

Yeah, well, in any case, I'm probably going to quench this conversation now. I'm afraid I've mined it long enough. I won't really appreciate anyone tinkering with any ideas in a similar vein either.

[ImproperJustice]

A Skelton walks into the bar and asks for a beer and a mop.....

What do you call a Bulette in a treasure chest?
A: Stuck!

What is brown and sticky?
A: a stick!

What did the Fighter say when he lost his sword?
A: Where’s my sword?

[DMThac0]

Listen, if you don't like the smell of what I forged for you, just remember, "He who smelt it, dealt it." You can't expect me to be the only one who tempers my humor.

"He who smelt it dealt it"!? I see how it is. You **** here trouting your linguistic capabilities while I flounder for the right words. I'm going to need a sturgeon, your words cut deep...

[hymer]

"He who smelt it dealt it"!? I see how it is. You **** here trouting your linguistic capabilities while I flounder for the right words. I'm going to need a sturgeon, your words cut deep...
You have a mind like a steel trap, but I am adamant. You seem to be hammering out the deficiencies rather than seizing the golden opportunity before us. We should strike while the iron is hot!

[willdaBEAST]

There's a corner store near where I live called "Element 29" (Copper), so you could riff off of something like that for the tavern name.

Alternative names could be something like "The Bent Penny".

As far as jokes, I'd recommend going the route of what would a copper dragon joke about rather than jokes about copper dragons. Lore-wise they seem to be witty and often associated with thieves, schemers and scoundrels.

"How many coppers does it take to catch a thief? Only one if you don't let go of it."

Another route is to have her trash talking chromatic dragons: "What's worse than a red dragon? Tiamat."

[smcmike]

I like the idea of her having a really weird sense of humor, with jokes that are a bit alien to the sensibilities of humans. Unfortunately, I don’t have any examples.

I’m also imagining that she had a special flask of super-strong drink, and a habit of taking a long swig, belching an absolutely vile cloud of gas, and spitting a sizzling loogie on the floor.

[KorvinStarmast]

A usable jest

When a ranger, a cleric, a barbarian and a rogue walk into the tavern, just have her look up from polishing a mug and ask:

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

[Armored Walrus]

I like the idea of her having a really weird sense of humor, with jokes that are a bit alien to the sensibilities of humans. Unfortunately, I don’t have any examples.

Norm MacDonald?



A usable jest

When a ranger, a cleric, a barbarian and a rogue walk into the tavern, just have her look up from polishing a mug and ask:

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

Classic! Thumbs up.


"How many coppers does it take to catch a thief? Only one if you don't let go of it."

This is perfect. A dad joke, a metal joke, and a D&D joke all rolled into one.


Ok, here goes. The one that will cause you all to kick me off these forums.

"Why did the rest of the crew kick the magnet off the galley composed of galena, sphalerite and chalcocite?"

"Because he wouldn't pull an ore..."

[Personification]

Norm MacDonald?

"Why did the rest of the crew kick the magnet off the galley composed of galena, sphalerite and chalcocite?"

"Because he wouldn't pull an ore..."

This feels like a Discworld troll joke.

[King Owlbear]

You should have her say, "Cu later!" at the end of every encounter.
Also you should check out dm dad jokes over on Reddit

[tieren]

Two barbarians walk into a bar; the third one was smart enough to duck.

I really like the "C-u later" idea above.

[Personification]

I think maybe old (in universe) pop culture references might work. Like:
"You drank that beer faster than Squiggles!"
"Who's Squiggles?"
"Old adventurer, before your time"

Then, if the PCs actually look up squiggles, they find out that he was actually a beer-loving gnomish wizard who died a hundred years ago but never got really famous. I think tat if you just build up a moderate sized set of these it will work. At first the PCs wouldn't realize how far back the "before your time" means, but if it happens often enough they will do the research and realize that something is off about the innkeepers age.

[SirGraystone]

Hint of her true nature could be making her a dragon sorcerer with a few scales on her because of her class. Also for a twist, maybe she's not the missing dragon but his sister and she's searching information on what happened to her brother.

Maybe he got corrupted by evil magic, and the group will have to fight him but not kill him...

[Suteinu]

"The door is a jar!"

-really, REALLY old transmuter joke

[cullynthedwarf]

Have you heard the joke about the witches broom? (no matter how they answer) its sweeping the (city/valley/country)

You know its true that red dragons cant hurt you if your carrying a torch? Actually it depends on how fast you carry it.

You know why you dont tell a dwarf a joke with two meanings? They both go over his head.

[Pex]

When she starts a joke or tells a so-called funny story, have her begin by saying "Don't stop me if you heard this one."

[cullynthedwarf]

Do you know what has more legs, one cow or no cow?
Yes? Too easy huh?
No? Your right no cow has more then four legs.

Necromancer, isn't that the one about the vampire who fell in love with a throat? Oh sorry that was the neck romancer, my mistake. But he did have several ghoul friends.

Do you realize what time it is when a half ogre named Otto walks though your door?
Yes? So you've meet Otto?
No? Time to get a new door

[Wanjigi]

Lol1 I love the comments

[iTreeby]

What's the difference between a male dwarf and a female one?

None.

None, gender stereotypes hurt everyone. Anti-joke

[Maelynn]

Hint of her true nature could be making her a dragon sorcerer with a few scales on her because of her class. Also for a twist, maybe she's not the missing dragon but his sister and she's searching information on what happened to her brother.

Maybe he got corrupted by evil magic, and the group will have to fight him but not kill him...

I just came to comment that I love this twist. And that I might steal it.