Do you get tired of players joking?

[snowman87]

I know it's mostly just me but for awhile now I've been more and more annoyed at players, as a player and as DM, who go out of their way to make puns, reference pop culture, do things that don't make sense in-game just because it will be silly, and just generally try to get a laugh. It's why I stopped watching Acq Inc, Dark & Dicey, and many other D&D streams. I understand that D&D is about everyone having a good time but does this behavior ruin the fun for anyone else? I like to play to try telling an involved story and, while that can include funny moments, it shouldn't be a straight up comedy to me. Opinions?

[ruy343]

It depends heavily on the tone that the DM is trying to create at the table. If they're doing a good job of creating in-game tension, then the players won't want to think about anything else. If the DM is running a more relaxed adventure day, expect for things to get side-tracked.

However, even amongst the most tense situations, hilarity can ensue. While running Curse of Strahd, my players were often on the edge of their seats, but every hour or so, someone would make a hilarious quip, and the table would dissolve into laughter, helping to prevent the game from getting too serious.

I think joking around is important, but that a good DM can keep it under control by simply upping the tension of the game, which will improve the quality of the game overall.

[snowman87]

Joking is important but I'm running Curse of Strahd right now, as well, and one player cracks a joke at nearly everything I introduce, not allowing ANY tension to build. It's been rather disappointing as a DM. It just feels like a generic dungeon crawl.

[DMThac0]

I play in CoS currently, and my character shows absolutely no respect for Strahd, even though he's supposed to be the BBEG, I make passes at the ladies left and right, and I'm always throwing sarcasm around like it's candy. It did, for the longest time, make my DM feel like I wasn't taking it serious which upset her. Then we had a chat about it, she threatened to make me sleep on the couch. I explained it was how I wanted my character to come off in game, like he was above being intimidated, arrogant, and brash. It was his coping mechanism, in game, to the harshness of the situation and being thrust into the leader position.

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I have a table that loves to crack jokes, do karaoke moments, make puns, there are various types of humor from nonsensical to dark or sexual in nature.

The thing to remember is every person at your table is there for 2 reasons: first because they want to hang out with friends and second is to play the game. It's always in that order, every group ever, even at cons or shops.

Now on to the main attraction, what I like to call: How to Herd Your Cats!

First rule of herding cats: you can't.

Second rule of herding cats: when you think you've succeeded, look at rule number 1.

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All joking aside, this is not something you really need to concern yourself with too much. You, your friends, the people at the table playing D&D are going to rabbit trail, side track, and be silly. It's normal social interaction, it's what you'd do when you go to a restaurant, to the movie, to a party. The big thing here is to start setting boundaries, simple boundaries. Start to point out, on particularly off-topic nights, that they're derailing. Let their inattentiveness affect them by letting them do their thing while you continue to DM. You don't have to try to make them play the game, simply use the game to remind them to be more attentive.

I like to simply sit, quietly, watching, as they banter along. They eventually realize that nothing is happening and simmer down. I let them interrupt as I'm talking, if they miss something I've said, it's on them. When they get to a point and realize they didn't hear what I had to say, I'll simply remind them that they were too busy singing Disney songs. If a player gets up in the middle of combat for no good reason, I'll skip their turn. If a player makes reference to the Matrix while talking to a Gnome about some invention, the Gnome will go off on a tangent about matrices...like mathematics not the movie. If a player makes an off-hand comment while in the middle of a conversation with an NPC, that NPC will react to the comment. You have the ability to maintain immersion while the players tangent; use the game to remind them that they're in character.

However, don't punish them unduly, it is a game after all. Let them have their moments, let them tangent, let them get it out of their system. It won't hurt anyone if someone makes a comment that the fight you did reminds them of that one time Gogku fought Vegeta. It's not a problem if the name of an NPC reminds a player of a vegetable. You're going to have pop-culture references no matter what you're doing, and memes are a thing everywhere. Enjoy the game, but first enjoy having your friends around and, as the 38 Special song put it, "Hold on loosely, but don't let go".

[Camman1984]

every group has it's own 'vibe' . Sometimes it is frustrating as the DM if you are trying to create a tense situation but you will know your group and how they operate. if it's a real problem that is affecting the game then maybe that style of RP isn't right for that group.

[Spectrulus]

Since it is a game, having fun in many varieties happens. One thing my serious-er campaign agreed on was that helped us us raising a hand means you're not roleplaying, and anything else is speaking as character. This would lead to longer "serious," segments, and then hands raised everyone laughing and having a good time. Other motions I'm sure would be fine of course too.

[Pex]

When it's excessive, which is subjective to me. I don't like it when it's interrupting a player's turn.

[DarkKnightJin]

I personally don't mind puns. I don't go out of my way to make a joke. But I won't avoid a joke or pun that presents itself to me.

A joke can help lighten the mood. Which is pretty useful, especially in campaigns like Curse of Strahd.

[Darth Ultron]

I'm very much against this. And it's one of the big reasons I mostly DM games.

It's bad enough when a player or two keeps making jokes, puns, references pop culture and does silly things every couple of minutes.

And it's worse when the DM either just sits there and does nothing or joins in.

But the far worse is when it derails or stops the game. Billy just has to say ''the broken egg" and reference some silly anime cartoon. Players laugh about it for several minutes, then talk about it and other cool silly anime cartoons. Then they just *have* to find the silly anime cartoons to watch on YouTube. And there goes like two wasted hours.

When I am DM, I don't allow any of it. A quick joke, sure....but anyone who wants to waste time will simply be told to leave the game. You want to sit around and watch cool YouTube videos: go home and do that as much as you want.

[ruy343]

Joking is important but I'm running Curse of Strahd right now, as well, and one playing cracks a joke at nearly everything I introduce, not allowing ANY tension to build. It's been rather disappointing as a DM. It just feels like a generic dungeon crawl.

If I may so suggest: you've probably got players who don't fear the villains enough (especially Strahd). Try to make the villains real to them - think about an emotion that you want the players to feel when they see a villain. For example, with Strahd, I feel that he should evoke ABJECT FEAR to the point that whenever there's the slightest possibility that he might show up, the players whisper "oh crap!" Build on this; do everything you can to quash any other emotions through Strahd's roleplaying and powers. Make him omniscient. Make him omnipresent. Make him omnipotent. Or at least... make your players think that he is.

In my campaign, Strahd showed up almost every session, and almost always with dire consequences. He had zero qualms about outright killing a member of the party, and he reveled in the dark power that it brought him. But at the same time, he also enjoyed watching the player characters take futile swings at him, and watching them encounter the various horrors he had left for them. As far as your players and your DMing are concerned, he's invincible until the climactic encounter in the castle, so let him strut his stuff confidently, with absolutely no fear of repercussion. Make him a real part of every session. If a player happens to land a critical hit, just have Strahd smirk and say "I was really hoping for more from you..." Then show them what happens to people who inconvenience Strahd.

If a character says something like a joke around Strahd, and as a result Strahd ceases to be the center of attention (he's a narcissist!), then do not hesitate to have Strahd drain a sizeable portion of their life right then and there. HE is the star of the show. Make it clear that when Strahd is there, the joking is over, unless he's the one making the jokes (which he should do, at the expense of the party)

My players also felt that he was omniscient, and I'd often point out that there were bats, crows, rats, or other spies in random scenes to remind them of their danger. Sure, they'd chase them off, but they'd never know whether they were completely safe... And then Strahd would make a personal appearance and ask them politely not to shoot arrows at his spies because he finds the player characters quite entertaining to watch!

You can also create tension by presenting encounters before they have had a chance to rest, but this way is less long-lived than the more visceral, emotional approach to fleshing out the villains. Combined, though, it can be done to enormous effect, and people will praise you as a DM for years to come.

Note: it doesn't just have to be Strahd that evokes this kind of fear. The old lady that trades pastries for children can be another amazingly visceral interaction with the players, even if she never enters combat with them (just have her slip out of sight and disappear).

EDIT TO ADD: Try to include the chant from the death house wherever possible. Little things like a returning rhythm (just telling the players that they feel the pulse of the rhythm from the "He is the Ancient, He is the Land" chant) can bring back all kinds of terrible memories. Use links like this throughout.

Finally, you're the DM: you don't have to play by the rules. If you want to create a dramatic effect, like having a hag cast a teleportation spell to disappear dramatically, you are allowed to do that, the stat block be damned. The emotion you create in a scene is much more important than ensuring that you follow all the rules as written.

[Waterdeep Merch]

I assert seriousness through fear- when I want the players to take something seriously, I make sure the stakes are higher than usual and that they can lose something they like. Sometimes it's their lives via a particularly nasty death trap/encounter, sometimes it's their items or money, often it's an NPC they like.

My party's been on edge since last week when I explained that a powerful arch devil is sealed beneath the catacombs in a barony, where a coven on vampires formed from an ancient line of kings driven to insanity has been sacrificing those of noble blood to keep the seal from breaking. I warned them, out of game, that I was pulling absolutely no punches and that the encounter was beyond unbelievably deadly by any standards. Despite this, for story reasons, they've decided to try it.

They're taking this deathly seriously. They've been talking strategy, about who might need to make heroic sacrifices, if it's even worth the insane risk. All because I've made it perfectly clear that the enemy they're about to go poke will absolutely kill them if given the opportunity.

They don't even know exactly what it is. They just believe me when I say "You're likely talking about a TPK without both a great strategy and some serious luck".

(and I'm not lying. They're level 8 gestalts about to fight Hutijin, on purpose, rather than allow a bunch of cursed vampires continue to sacrifice unwitting nobility in blood rituals to keep him sealed)

[willdaBEAST]

I know it's mostly just me but for awhile now I've been more and more annoyed at players, as a player and as DM, who go out of their way to make puns, reference pop culture, do things that don't make sense in-game just because it will be silly, and just generally try to get a laugh. It's why I stopped watching Acq Inc, Dark & Dicey, and many other D&D streams. I understand that D&D is about everyone having a good time but does this behavior ruin the fun for anyone else? I like to play to try telling an involved story and, while that can include funny moments, it shouldn't be a straight up comedy to me. Opinions?
These are all things that are critical to address in a session 0.

I would talk to your players and explain your intent for the campaign's tone and what you expect out of them as players. Your players may not be interested in an involved and serious story, so it's something that works both ways. I had the same problem running CoS, the players didn't seem to be comfortable having it be too serious so I adjusted my approach and expectations more to what the group seemed interested in. An alternative is finding another group of players if you don't think they'll buy in to a serious game.

[Trask]

Joke and how often they're made depends on person to person. Many people I play with enjoy the social aspect of D&D just as much as the game itself, and jokes are part of that. It can be frustrating though to want to run a game with a certain style, or create a scenario which you think has a certain weight or intensity to it and its laughed over. But I just tell myself this.

You cannot force players to engage with the scenarios you create, any attempt to do so will just repulse them from the game. The only thing you can do is adapt to the climate of the table, and try to get better and better at what you do.

Its also worth mentioning that while from the DM side of the table players may seem unfazed by unfolding events, that is not always the case. Humor is a common way of defusing tension, and I find that in horrific or gruesome scenarios when the players are joking, they are collectively destressing themselves from the game.

[Arcangel4774]

My friends and I played on roll20 because we were spread across 2 states. One player in particular was more joking, and could hardly remember her characters abilities. However for the most part, joking was done in chat window, while the seriousness was done over voice chat. This allowed the jokes to not affect the game while they could still exist

[Helliquin]

Joking is important but I'm running Curse of Strahd right now, as well, and one playing cracks a joke at nearly everything I introduce, not allowing ANY tension to build. It's been rather disappointing as a DM. It just feels like a generic dungeon crawl.

Yeah that really bites... I can imagine your blood curdling every time they open their mouth. Bloody annoying.

I tend to always play characters that are extensions of my personality so they are typically pretty ready with a joke - be it dark humor or not.

[mephnick]

The group I'm running now is very beer and pretzels. Make fun of names, call big bad NPCs "bitch", no one knows any of the other PC's names, kill everything in sight. It would be annoying if I tried to put the wrong thing in front of them, but I throw them through a dungeon or sandbox and let them fight cool monsters and we all have a good time. I mean, that's kind of what D&D has traditionally been about. I just have to keep the side conversations down to keep pace. When I play with strangers I adopt a much more serious tone, rule more confidently and demand more depth of character stuff. Both are good times, but when I'm with real friends I'd rather just hang out and toss dice until "the dumb eye thing" dies.

[Aett_Thorn]

A few occasional jokes are never a bad thing. But constant jokes are pretty bad. Just like constant side conversations, it can ruin the feel of a game.

[Camman1984]

Would this extend to the characters having a joke as opposed to the players? My rogue is known to be evil but in a subtle and Belkar like way so they keep her around because she is really good at killing their enemies. It started recently to go around the party that she might be a vampire. they know she is hiding something, a few things. She keeps disappearing at night, she recently learned disguise self as magic initiate so keeps changing her appearance and she keep making jokes about being covered in her enemies blood keeps her youthful.

the party are actually starting to get a bit scared and distrustful of her (but again they find her too useful an ally to chase off) so to break the tension she decided, mid fight to kneel down and clamp her teeth into the neck of a fallen barman. she didnt do anything too grisly like eating or drinking blood, but clamped on as if she was. She then started rolling around laughing when the party confronted her about it. it went down really well at the table.