An Unreliable Player

[ShadowImmor]

I have a player in two of my games who is incredibly unreliable.

To put this in a bit of perspective, in one campaign we have had 8 sessions, he has missed 3.

In another we have had 6 and he has missed 2.

I have tried talking to him, all he says is "don't kick me out of the group." But offers no alternatives.

How have you, the Playgrounders dealt with this in your game?

[Boci]

I assume the other players come nearly ever session? Its group dependant, but some I've played in, 5 out of 8 would be considered acceptable. People have lives, work, family and other annyoing non-RP things to pop up. As long as they notify the group in time its considered fair and only starts to becoming a problem when they miss more than half the sessions. How good is he at giving advanced notice that he won't make it?

How dispruptive is it when he misses a session? Is it story heavy and he misses details/isn't there to interact with the PCs? Is it combat heavy, and its annoying to plan encounters for 5 or only 4 characters?

[holywhippet]

Have him leave his character sheet with you. If he doesn't show up pick another player to run his character.

[Friv]

I have a player in two of my games who is incredibly unreliable.

To put this in a bit of perspective, in one campaign we have had 8 sessions, he has missed 3.

In another we have had 6 and he has missed 2.

I have tried talking to him, all he says is "don't kick me out of the group." But offers no alternatives.

How have you, the Playgrounders dealt with this in your game?

I've had to deal with this in the past, although usually due to players who have commitments which can cause them to miss sessions on short notice. In these cases, we generally do one of the following:

*) If the game is weekly, we will sometimes run two different campaigns - one when the player is present, and one when the player is absent. Since the game is still weekly, players are still scheduling a game regardless of the flaky player.

*) If the game supports drop-in play, we just make sure that the flaky player's character isn't heavily entwined and can easily come or go based on their availability, and we don't count them towards quorum.

[JoeJ]

Like most OOC problems, this is best handled by a discussion with the entire group. They need to decide what happens with any PC when the player doesn't show up; do they wander off into the woods, become an NPC, get played by another player, or whatever? Also, how much experience does that PC get? Once a consensus is reached, do whatever was agreed on.

[Afrodactyl]

I run a group of five and I typically DMPC one of the characters on any given session.

It was a group of seven, but due to changes in work commitments they only attend once every blue moon. I DMPC'd both of their characters for about four sessions before they phased out of existence.

The campaign is wrapping up shortly and the players are going to become available again, so once the immediate threat of end of days is dealt with I'm going to use their return as a means to jumpstart the next campaign arc to deal with an extradimensional villain kidnapping people and imprisoning them on another plane of existence.

In short, either DMPC their character, or find a way to incorporate it into the campaign narrative.

[Greywander]

Another option would be to work this into the character he's playing. Have him build some kind of wandering mercenary or mysterious old man who has an in-universe excuse to come and go like the wind, just showing up in the middle of a dungeon or leaving at the most inopportune time. Work with the player to create some kind of side story that explains where he goes when he leaves the party and what he's been up to, and weave it into the main story. Some nebulous antagonist that the player is facing off-screen might suddenly show up in the main campaign, for example.

When you frame it like this, the other players won't necessarily expect him to show up, so they'll be happy when he does and they get an extra pair of hands.

[Specter]

I always kick people out if they don't show up three times. Being late for more than one hour falls into 'not showing up'.

They know upfront, and there are no hard feelings.

[ImproperJustice]

Another option would be to work this into the character he's playing. Have him build some kind of wandering mercenary or mysterious old man who has an in-universe excuse to come and go like the wind, just showing up in the middle of a dungeon or leaving at the most inopportune time. Work with the player to create some kind of side story that explains where he goes when he leaves the party and what he's been up to, and weave it into the main story. Some nebulous antagonist that the player is facing off-screen might suddenly show up in the main campaign, for example.

When you frame it like this, the other players won't necessarily expect him to show up, so they'll be happy when he does and they get an extra pair of hands.

Like Shadow from FF6

[kraitmarais]

This is pretty normal for me. People have lives. I’d say that someone is absent for at least 30% of game sessions that I run or play.

As long as someone let’s me (DM) know a bit ahead of time that they’ll be absent, so that I can balance combat encounters appropriately, it’s not a problem at all.

Sometimes we invent a narrative reason why a character is absent, sometimes we just hand-wave it and forget about it. Be careful of making your game into a chore instead of a fun diversion.

[ShadowImmor]

This is pretty normal for me. People have lives. I’d say that someone is absent for at least 30% of game sessions that I run or play.

As long as someone let’s me (DM) know a bit ahead of time that they’ll be absent, so that I can balance combat encounters appropriately, it’s not a problem at all.

Sometimes we invent a narrative reason why a character is absent, sometimes we just hand-wave it and forget about it. Be careful of making your game into a chore instead of a fun diversion.

Yeah people have lives, usually he'll let me know about 3 hours before the sessions starts though, while I'm at work. (we start about an hour and a half after I get home. Enough time for me to get in, eat and have a shower) so he nearly always tells me very late in the day.

I would like to, but it's hard when his character has only appeared for two sessions of the 4 session dungeon crawl (and not even adjacent sessions, he was there for the first and third but not the second or fourth).


Another option would be to work this into the character he's playing. Have him build some kind of wandering mercenary or mysterious old man who has an in-universe excuse to come and go like the wind, just showing up in the middle of a dungeon or leaving at the most inopportune time. Work with the player to create some kind of side story that explains where he goes when he leaves the party and what he's been up to, and weave it into the main story. Some nebulous antagonist that the player is facing off-screen might suddenly show up in the main campaign, for example.

When you frame it like this, the other players won't necessarily expect him to show up, so they'll be happy when he does and they get an extra pair of hands.

Again, as above, it's hard to work it narratively in when he misses random sessions with very little warning. I could talk to him about it and try to come to a compromise, i.e. he turns up to sessions that are important.


I run a group of five and I typically DMPC one of the characters on any given session.

It was a group of seven, but due to changes in work commitments they only attend once every blue moon. I DMPC'd both of their characters for about four sessions before they phased out of existence.

The campaign is wrapping up shortly and the players are going to become available again, so once the immediate threat of end of days is dealt with I'm going to use their return as a means to jumpstart the next campaign arc to deal with an extradimensional villain kidnapping people and imprisoning them on another plane of existence.

In short, either DMPC their character, or find a way to incorporate it into the campaign narrative.

That could work, though I don't generally like taking over a PC, and I don't think it's fair for my other players to have to either A) one person learns a second character which basically gives them 2 PCs, or B) they rotate who covers the missing players, but then they will forget his abilities and slow down the game.


I've had to deal with this in the past, although usually due to players who have commitments which can cause them to miss sessions on short notice. In these cases, we generally do one of the following:

*) If the game is weekly, we will sometimes run two different campaigns - one when the player is present, and one when the player is absent. Since the game is still weekly, players are still scheduling a game regardless of the flaky player.

*) If the game supports drop-in play, we just make sure that the flaky player's character isn't heavily entwined and can easily come or go based on their availability, and we don't count them towards quorum.

It's three weeks out of four, which was an agreement we all made when we started as we have one player who cannot make it to the fourth week, so any week missed can be a big deal. Running two different campaigns could work, but I'd need to plan an entire second one, and on top of that we'd get very little time to do either campaign over all, to the point the secondary one may very well become the main one.


I assume the other players come nearly ever session? Its group dependant, but some I've played in, 5 out of 8 would be considered acceptable. People have lives, work, family and other annyoing non-RP things to pop up. As long as they notify the group in time its considered fair and only starts to becoming a problem when they miss more than half the sessions. How good is he at giving advanced notice that he won't make it?

How dispruptive is it when he misses a session? Is it story heavy and he misses details/isn't there to interact with the PCs? Is it combat heavy, and its annoying to plan encounters for 5 or only 4 characters?

Altogether out of 4 other players 2 sessions have been missed (two different ones by two different players) so the rest of the WHOLE GROUP has less no shows than this one player.

It's pretty disruptive, the story I had planned requires them to complete certain tasks as a group, and they seem to be coming up to a certain task soon, which if he misses will affect the narrative for the story. I don't mind scaling down the encounters (though it is frustrating) the main annoyance comes from the fact that the story kind of requires the players to show up.

[Contrast]

I feel people on these forums tie themselves in knots trying to explain why a character is/isn't present. Just don't.

They're hypothetically there but not not actively taking part and no-one comments on it for reasons. That's it, you move on with the game. It's only a problem if you make it a problem.

I'm currently playing in a group with 7 players and its very rare to have all 7. Its usually between 5-6 people on any given week and this has literally never been an issue because we just don't make it an issue.


That said, I would talk to the player about his attendance issues - is there a reason he's only letting you know a couple of hours beforehand? If he can give you a firm yes or no earlier in the week he should and if he can't he should be able to give you a maybe and an ETA on when he expects to be able to give you a firm yes or no. If he can't/won't do that its up to you as the DM to decide how disruptive that is and if you're happy to put up with it.

[MoiMagnus]

It's pretty disruptive, the story I had planned requires them to complete certain tasks as a group, and they seem to be coming up to a certain task soon, which if he misses will affect the narrative for the story. I don't mind scaling down the encounters (though it is frustrating) the main annoyance comes from the fact that the story kind of requires the players to show up.

First of all, be prepared to having to get rid of this character. Start taking in account in your campaign plan that his characters might just disappear (i.e be killed, leave the party, ...) if he continue not showing to important moments. You can also allow your players to change part of their character to compensate its absence.

(We had a player like that in our campaign, and he was less and less present to the sessions, and we're finishing the campaign without him because he missed so many stuff there is not points having him in the conclusion of the campaign. His character didn't die, he just moved to the astral plan to directly help his god and dealing with other problems)

Second, you really need to have a talk with him about warning beforehand about its absence. One week in advance. If he is not able to guaranties (up to major problems) one week in advance that he will be to the session, then consider that he will not be there. It is easier to add a character to the story (temporarily), than to have one absent character.

(We were playing a homebrew RPG, and this "missing character" was the cleric. So the team was not balanced without him. So we implemented major rule rework to make possible to play without a healer, using health potions. Now, the game is balanced even without him. And if he come back, the DM will be able to adapt the encounters without to many problems to take him in account)

Thirdly, people have lives. However, everybody has lives. And if he is absent more frequently than the other players, it mean those RPG-games are less important for him than they are important for your other players. Your other players possibly missed a birthday party / a cinema night / ... in order to come to this game session. Thus, they have the priority. And them having a fun game is your priority. 30% of absence is acceptable in a group were everybody agree that being there to every session is not that important. In a group were everybody else agree that you should be present almost every session, 30% of absence is not acceptable.

Fourthly, his answer is "don't kick me out of the group". The way I interpret this is "I don't really care about the RPG stuff, I just want to be in your group of friend and have some fun social time with you when I'm free". So maybe you should stop considering him as a PC and try to find him another role so that he can have fun when he is here, and is not missing when he is not here.

Lastly, here is some technical suggestion of how to handle the next sessions:
+ Build a "NPC version" of his character. This NPC version has to be as simple as a monster from the Monster Manual. So get rid of most of the feature, and increase its damages and health point to balance it out. Thus, it will be easy to be played by you or by the players during sessions.
+ You also can turn his character into a werewolf / possessed person / ... So that when the player is not here, the PC have to tie his character to prevent him doing any harm..
+ Consider he will not be there as the default behavior.

[MoiMagnus]

I feel people on these forums tie themselves in knots trying to explain why a character is/isn't present. Just don't.

They're hypothetically there but not not actively taking part and no-one comments on it for reasons. That's it, you move on with the game. It's only a problem if you make it a problem.

I'm currently playing in a group with 7 players and its very rare to have all 7. Its usually between 5-6 people on any given week and this has literally never been an issue because we just don't make it an issue.

Well, that depend the kind of game you play. If every session, there is prophecy stuff, background interaction between characters, or anything from the plot that explicitly require each of the character to have a definite purpose.
For example, you are in the "temple of fate", and there is a complex sequence of trial, each linked to a particular character and revealing the place in the fate of this character. Having a missing character for this is quite annoying.
Another example is if each character is the representative of one nation. Then, in diplomatic session, having the representative of a major nation not actively defending its interest is not something you can ignore without breaking the immersion of some players.

In some campaign I've played, one player missing is "well, we will play boardgames" because it is just not possible without him/her.
In other campaigns, as you said, it is possible to just ignore its absence and nobody will care (which is strongly advised for 6 or more players. And probably better for 5 players too)

[Contrast]

For example, you are in the "temple of fate", and there is a complex sequence of trial, each linked to a particular character and revealing the place in the fate of this character. Having a missing character for this is quite annoying.

This seems very easy to work around (though I'd also point out I'm incredibly leery of the DM handing out 'fates' and prophecies generally to players). Their challenge must be faced alone and they meet up with the rest of the party later on (DM explains to player what happened to them briefly in the week/before the start of the next session).


Another example is if each character is the representative of one nation. Then, in diplomatic session, having the representative of a major nation not actively defending its interest is not something you can ignore without breaking the immersion of some players.

Either another PC or NPC steps in or the DM roleplays the character.


In some campaign I've played, one player missing is "well, we will play boardgames" because it is just not possible without him/her.
In other campaigns, as you said, it is possible to just ignore its absence and nobody will care (which is strongly advised for 6 or more players. And probably better for 5 players too)

Usually if its something player specific we'll just hold off on that event (i.e. we get to the meeting place for the diplomatic mission but they're delayed for some reason and we need to investigate/resolve before they can continue). I think in my ~8 years of playing weekly with this group we've played one shots instead of a campaign about...twice because a player couldn't be there and they were basically required by where the campaign had gone.

[MephitBlue]

Talk to the player and find out the situation that is causing him to miss a session and why they can't give you more notice than 3 hours before the session. There answers may lead to finding a way to best accommodate their schedule or kicking their but out of the group (I wasn't there because I was too tired, or had another engagement).

I play in two different groups and people occasionally miss sessions from both groups. Usually because something happens at their or their spouses job that causes them not to be available. Most of the people in the groups I play in are professionals where if something goes wrong at work, they have to be there and stay until whatever gets fixed. I lead a team in an IT company. Something goes wrong with the software we are working on and it is close to release date, you ain't leaving work unless it is a family emergency. If the player's situation is something like this, I'd do my best to accommodate them. I'd bring up the situation up to the group and see how they want to handle the player's character during absences. Likewise, I'd do the same for a parent who has things come up where they have to take care of their kids.

Now if the person isn't showing up because they don't care enough to make the game a priority, then I'd give them an ultimatum, make the game a priority or leave the game. It isn't fair to the others at the table who do try to show up every week.

[DaveOfTheDead]

Have him leave his character sheet with you. If he doesn't show up pick another player to run his character.
I've offered to do this for someone in my group, because he's super flaky. He refuses. So I have to be like "Yo! Character sheet please!" the day of and he doesn't usually like to respond in a timely manner to boot. Often times he wanders off and doesn't participate at all.

And to make things worse? The party could use the help because we're playing Curse of Strahd.

[SiCK_Boy]

The fact that OP describes this player as unreliable means that the issue is OOC / player-based, and the concern should be about why the person cannot give more than 3 hours of heads up regarding his absences. It's difficult to judge without knowing the reason.

Depending on the level of privacy involved, it could be resolved by having a group discussion, or at least having a chat between player and DM. Maybe the group could change its schedule to better accommodate everyone (sometimes, groups get stuck in a schedule for the sake of tradition and don't even realize that there could be better options available now that weren't when the initial schedule was made).

If it really matters to everyone to have all players present, then force the player into committing to the game; if he can't (independently of the legitimacy of his reasons), then let him go (he should understand, even if it may not make him happy).

These kind of situations should have been covered in a Session 0. If you did, maybe take some time to give everyone a reminder on what was agreed upon at that time; if not, maybe have your Session 0 now. Better late than never.

Finally, as for suggestions on how to handle absent players, here's how we do it in the games I DM: if possible in the narrative (even stretching things a bit), we find an excuse for the character to leave. He'll stay at the inn to sleep late, will visit a relative, or some other reason. And when the player returns, I make it easy for his character to reach the group. If not narratively possible (ex: the party is in the middle of a dungeon), then the DM controls the character, using it in a minimalist function (mostly for combat purposes). I will roleplay the character if the other players try to interact with him, but he'll otherwise be a silent follower - a bit like a henchman. I let the players who are present make suggestions on using powers for the absent player (ex: which spells to cast, positioning in combat, targets, etc.), but ultimately keep a final veto right on any of that character's actions. Depending how many players are absent (our rule is that we play if at least 50 % of the players make it), I may ask present players to manage character sheets for me (I just don't have enough room on my side of the table for my notes plus 3 character sheets).

It works very well. 5th edition is a good system for this because it's hard to kill just one PC in a fight (you're more likely to TPK than have just one irrevocable death, unless the monster is specifically targeting a single PC), so the odds of a character dying while his player is absent are not too high.

Another option we used in a game I played in was to have the character become a ghost. He would be present, but take no part in any encounter and would just carry bags and stuff, never getting attacked or spoken to by NPC. The present players could sometimes rely on that PC for very specific things (ex: asking a cleric to cast healing spells after a fight), but otherwise, we just handwave the player's absence.

I prefer my system because it allows me, as a DM, to not have to adjust encounter difficulty for a lower number of players.

What really matter is that the method be discussed and agreed upon by the whole group.

[SirGraystone]

For me, how I handle a player who miss games regularly would depend more on why he's missing game then how many. For example I have a player who's been playing with me for almost 2 years now, but the last two months or so he missed about half the game nights. There's change in his work and personnal life, when things will be better he'll probably come back to the game regularly.

Now if a player just have different priority and go play pool or something instead of D&D and just come to your game when he has nothing better to do that's another story.

[Maelynn]

It would really depend on why the player is absent so often and why he gives such a short notice that you can't adapt the session to his absence. The questions below are what I would like to see answered before deciding to boot a player or not.

* Does he have a good reason to be absent? Like, a sudden extra shift or task at work or something happens in the family that he has to deal with? Or does he just like something else better that happens to be on the same day and he ditches D&D for it?

* How come he gives a notice only 3 hours in advance? Is that when he finds out himself that he can't make it, and he immediately lets you know? Or is it just because that's around the time he realises he should inform you, even though he knew already?

* You said his response to you discussing this is 'please don't kick me out', so he is aware of being a disruptive factor. Why is it so important for him to stay in the party, even knowing that he ruins the experience? Is he simply being selfish and wants to have a fun D&D night when he does show up, even at the risk of ruining the campaign and causing frustration/annoyance with the rest of the party and the DM the nights he doesn't show up? Or is something else going on that makes him want to be a part of it?

A few options, depending on what answers you get:

- as suggested, have him play a PC that's not essential to the party but offers a bonus when he does play. Upside is that his presence is no longer required to have a good session, downside is that he may feel his character is reduced to a glorified NPC. I think it's easier to adapt for an extra player than to adapt for a missing one, so this would also make it easier on you as DM.

- instead of a regular night like every other Friday, use an online planner to select your sessions. This may work better for players who can't deal with set days (like a job with changing shifts, or family that also wants some of your weekend nights, or events that happen to coincide with regular nights). Everybody can fill in which dates are possible or not, after which the online planner can show you what dates everyone can make it. I found that certain people adhere to these dates easier than regular nights, as then they can't claim force majeure - they filled in the planner themselves, so they're responsible.

- if he just wants to be a part of it for social/personal reasons, then you could set up another group (or different dates with the current group) where you play one-shot sessions. Or even something like board games, if it's just the company he seeks and not D&D in particular.

- if he's an inconsiderate arsecandle who prioritises other activities over D&D when he sees fit and doesn't care to inform you in time, then just kick him and get another player.

[GreyBlack]

How do you run XP?

If he doesn't show up to a session, he doesn't get XP.

That said, also get a feel from the other players. If they're not bothered by it, don't make a big deal out of it. If they are, talk to this player and just tell him that his absences are starting to disrupt the table. If he can't make it, that's fine, but you have to keep the whole table happy, even at the expense of one.