MY other D&D creation let me know what you think

[exodus_dragon]

I have created a new class for D&D and would like some constructive criticism. some of you have already seen my race the Gemsouls and I got some good feed back, I am looking for that with this race Please let me know. I used the stats from the rogue modified of course, changed some of the abilities and added my own and deleted many of the normal ones. I hope its in a decent format for you to read.

Each color represents each lvl



Shadow Warper:


LVL Base attack Will Save Reflex Fortitude Save Special Ability
1 1 1 1 1 Sneak attack 1d6
2 2 1 2 1 Shadow Crawl
3 3 2 2 2 Shadow Blade 2d6
4 4 2 3 2 Sneak attack 2d6, Hypnotizing sleep
5 4 2 3 2 Silence, Darkness
6 5 3 4 3 Shadow Walk
7 6 3 4 3 Sneak Attack 3d6, Shadow Blade 4d6
8 7/2 3 5 3 Shadow Form, Shadow Sight
9 7/2 4 5 4 Shadow Run, Deeper Darkness
10 8/3 4 6 4 Sneak Attack 4d6, Improved Silence, Shadow Puppet
11 10/5 4 6 4 Shadow Blade 6d6
12 11/6 5 7 5 Shadow Port, Dream Walk
13 11/6 5 7 5 Sneak Attack 5f6
14 12/7 5 8 5
15 13/8/3 6 8 6 Shadow Blade 8d6
16 14/9/4 6 9 6 Sneak Attack 6d6
17 14/9/4 6 9 6
18 15/10/5 7 10 7
19 16/11/6 7 10 7 Shadow Blade 10d6
20 17/12/7 7 11 7






Shadow Craw: Allows the shadow warper to effectively walk through shadows and stay hidden and silent. The shadow warper can only move half his speed. To be seen/heard an enemy must roll a Listen DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+1/2 the shadow warper move silent skill/hide skill. If caught the shadow warper must roll a hide/move silently check to disappear back into the shadows. The check must beat the listen/spot check of the enemy by 5 or more to be successful, if not the shadow warper is found or heard. The shadow warper then becomes flatfooted to the enemy that successfully found him for 1d4 rounds. If the shadow warper successfully hides again the enemy must roll a will save of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+Confusion spell effective LVL (lvl 4) or becomes confused. If the enemy succeeds the will save they disregard what just happened and go about its business. Any spell or affect that removes shadows from an area negates this ability. Free action to perform.

Shadow Walk: Same as shadow crawl except the shadow warper can move normal speed. Free Action to perform.

Shadow Run: Same as shadow crawl except the shadow warper can move double its speed. Free action to perform.

Shadow Blade: The shadow warper has become so intoned with the shadows and darkness that it can wield a sword of pure shadow which looks like a bastard sword. The shadow blade does 2d6 DMG at 3rd LVL then every 4th LVL there after it does an additional 2d6 DMG (Max 10d6). The shadow warper blade is his most lethal weapon and favored. As the shadow warper’s skills grow his blade becomes more potent. In order for him to call forth this blade the room/area must have at least 1sq foot of shadow or darkness in the room. Once conjured light spells or effects will not destroy it, nor can it be dispelled, it can not be counter spelled either. If a light source is cast and removes all shadows/ or darkness from the area the ability is broken and the shadow warper can not call upon it until a there is a shadow or darkness in the area again equal to 1 sq foot. It will remain conjured for 3 hours+2 hours for every 4th LVL after the 3rd LVL. If a non-shadow warper class tries to wield the blade they must roll a Will DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Blades LVL (The blades LVL is 3+3 for every 4th LVL of the shadow warper after LVL 3). If successful the blade does no DMG to them but does half DMG to what ever they strike. They may also wield it for 1d10 rounds minus ½ the blades LVL (if they cannot wield it they must drop it or roll another Will DC with a -2 cumulative penalty stacked with the normal Will DC). Rounds to wield the blade do not start until after the initial round the weapon was equipped. If any Will Save is failed the Non-Shadow warper takes DMG equal to the Blades LVL (2d6 @3rd LVL, 4d6 @ 6th LVL, ETC…. Max 10d6) and must drop the blade. They may no longer try to wield it for 1d4 rounds. Full Round Action to summon the blade.

Silence: Works like the Silence Spell except its self targeting only and has a 5 foot radius from the shadow warper. The shadow warper can use this ability 1/day for every 2nd LVL after 5th LVL. This effect lasts for 2 minutes for every 2nd LVL after the 5th LVL. Can be dispelled, can’t be counter spelled. Free action

Improved Silence: Works like the Silence Spell except. The radius is increased to 10ft from the shadow warper. Can be activated it unlimitedly. If dispelled the shadow warper must wait 1d4 rounds to reactivate the ability. And has no duration to stay activated. The shadow warper may use this ability as a standard action.

Darkness: Works same as the Darkness Spell. Except the effectiveness is 3 Levels lower than the shadow warper’s LVL. Standard Action

Deeper Darkness: Works same as the Deeper Darkness Spell. Except the effectiveness is 2 Levels lower than the shadow warper’s LVL. Standard Action

Shadow Form: Works like the Sanctuary spell except: Also causes the shadow warper to become incorporeal. And grants a +10 to move silently and hide checks. It can not be used with shadow crawl/shadow walk/shadow run. It can be used with shadow port. It cannot be dispelled or counter spelled. It may be used even if no shadows or darkness is present. Light effects and spells do not affect this ability. Standard action to activate. Free action to drop the effect.

Shadow Sight: Allows the shadow warper to see as though they had dark vision. It also allows them to see in and through the darkness and deeper darkness spells and abilities and any other magical darkness spells and abilities as though he could see normally. Also allows them to see other shadow warpers in their shadow crawl/walk/run and form abilities as though they weren’t using there abilities. They may fight them as if they weren’t being affected by those abilities as well. Any sudden flash of light or light affects/spells (except while in darkness and deeper darkness; daylight may affect the shadow warper if It is a more powerful effect than the darkness or deeper darkness ability of the shadow warper.) causes the shadow warper to become temporarily blinded (lasts for 1d4 rounds). When surprised by such affects the shadow warper has a 50% chance to be automatically put into shadow form. If a light source is suddenly taken away the shadow warper again becomes blinded for 1d4 rounds and has 50% chance to be automatically put into shadow form. If the shadow warper is prepared for any of these types of sudden changes in light and darkness they are only blinded for 1 round. Gradual changes in light and darkness do not affect the shadow warper such as sunrise and sunset or walking down the street through street lights at night. Shadow sight is a constant affect and can not be turned off.

Shadow Puppet: Shadow warpers have becomes one with the shadows, thus allowing them to control a target creature/monster/humanoid by jumping into their shadows. The target must roll a successful Fortitude DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ half the targets LVL to prevent the shadow warper from entering its shadow. If failed the shadow warper enters the shadow and the target must roll a successful Will save to prevent the shadow warper from taking control. The Will DC is 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ half the targets LVL. If the will is successful on the targets next turn they may roll a Fortitude save again to try and cast the Shadow warper from its shadow. If the Will save fails the shadow warper takes control of the targets turn making all actions and choices possible for the target even suicide. Also for every failed Will or Fortitude save the DC is increased by +1. Once the target can no longer resist they then become unconscious and can’t come to for 1d6 rounds. The shadow warper then gains total control for that duration. If a any source/effect/spell causes the targets shadow to disappear the shadow warper is cast out violently from the targets shadow ripping it to pieces causing 5d6 DMG to himself and the target. Once the shadow warper is cast from a targets shadow it can no longer attempt to renter the targets shadow for 1d6 rounds. Also the shadow warper takes a -2 on all skill checks, saves AC and Attack against that target. If no shadows are present (meaning a physical shadow cast by a target not just shadows in the room or area) this ability cannot be used. The ability can be used 1/day per LVL no more than 15 times per day. It takes a full round action to perform.

Hypnotizing Sleep: This ability causes a single target to focus on the shadow warper and become hypnotized and fall asleep. To completely negate this effect the target must roll a Will DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Shadow warper’s wisdom score. If the target fails the fall asleep for 1d6 rounds, any action against the target awakens them. Can be used 1/day for every 2 LVLs past LVL 4. Standard Action

Dream Walk: This ability allows the shadow warper to enter a sleeping victim’s dream. The Victim must roll a Will DC of 10+Shadow warper’s LVL + Shadow warpers Wisdom score, if successful the shadow warper cannot enter the victim’s dream and awakens from any sleep effect weather it be natural sleep/poison sleep/spell affect sleep. If unsuccessful the shadow warper gains entry into the victim’s dream and can alter its dream to the point of the victim actually dying. The victim has a 0-10% chance to die. 11-30% chance to go unconscious. 31-50% gain control of the victim for 1d6 rounds. 51-70% nothing happens. 71-90% to cause the victim to become impaired causing a -3 to all saves, attack bonus, ac and skill checks 91-100% to cause the victim to awaken and alert gaining a +3 on all saves, attack bonus, AC, and Skill checks, initiative. If at any time the victim awakens there is a 50% chance the shadow warper becomes temporarily stuck in the victims head for 1d6 rounds or cast out of the victims mind. If the victim dies while the shadow warper is in its dream the shadow warper must wait for 1d10 rounds to be freed from the mind. Can be used 1/day for every 4 LVLs of the shadow warper no more than 5 times per day. Full round action.

Shadow Port: The shadow warper has learned to harness the power of shadows enough to actually teleport between them. A shadow warper may teleport between any shadows that has at least 1sq foot area. They may teleport up to a distance of 50 feet at a time and max distance to travel total is 200 feet before they must rest and wait 1d4 hours to use it again or 1d4 rounds if in combat, they may also rest 1 hour or 1 round (if in combat) after each 50ft teleport and they will regain that 50ft movement back to rest in combat the shadow warper must not make any actions during the round nor may they hold actions they must. If attacked while resting at any time the shadow warper must restart the rest period. If a shadow warper uses a creatures shadow to teleport then the creature may roll a Will save DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Shadow warpers Wisdom. If successful the shadow warper is denied entry and his teleportation stops there next to the target and the target gets an Attack of opportunity on the shadow warper if the target beats the shadow warpers Will save (same Save) by 5 or more. If the target fails the will save the shadow warper passes through its shadow fine and unscathed. If a shadow warper is at any time beaten by a targets will save while using this ability by 5 or more the shadow warper takes 2d4 DMG and must wait 2d4 rounds to teleport again or 2d4 hours to teleport again.

[GimliFett]

You should move this to the Homebrew Forum... Other than that it looks interesting, but maybe overpowered-ish.

[Grey Watcher]

Off to Homebrew we go!

[Umarth]

Comments:

Sneak attack needs to be spread out more evenly across the class levels. Also at one point you have it go from 8d6 > 6d6 > 10d6. I'm guessing that's a typo.

Shadow crawl/walk/run seems to add some odd new rules to move silently and hide. Why not just provide bonuses to those skills? You can already "crawl", walk and run using move silently and hide.

Shadow Blade: I'd remove the rules for letting others use it and just have it vanish if it leaves the Shadow Warpers hands. You should also clarify what type of action this is. I'm also not sure I understand the theme of tying a giant sword to a guy that's sneaky.

Silence: Since this doesn't seem to be offensivly directed would a move silently bonus cover it? I personally would probably give them the ability to cast silence a small number of times a day so they can fight others quietly.

Shadow Form: I don't understand why they get this ability. Do you envision them walking arround infront of people in a ghostly form? Sanctuary seems like an odd ability to give this class.

Shadow Sight: The blindness and dropping into shadowform automatically seems odd.

Shadow Puppet: I'd look at basing this off the magic jar spell. Also it has no range listed. Can you affect anyone on the plane?

The DC also needs to be looked at. DC 10 + level + half targets level means that this save will be very hard to make. It is also odd that the higher level the target the harder it is to resist the effect.

Hypnotizing Sleep: Needs a range. Why does this have a lower number of uses than the save or die ability Sadow Puppet?

Dream Walk: Again needs a range.
Also has written this spell has:
10% chance of autokilling
11-30% chance of unconscious (for how long?)
31-50% chance of gaining control of the victim
51-70% chance nothing happens
71-90% chance +3 to all victims rolls.
91-100% chance -3 to all victims rolls.
You would roll for each of these effects independantly to see if they happen. I think you'd be better off on saying "Roll 1d100 on a roll of 1-10 blah, 11-30 blah, ect".

Shadow Port: What happens if they have 4 hours to wait and then enter combat? Why does it refresh more quickly in combat? I'd probably just give them the shadow jump ability from the Shadow Dancer.

[AKA_Bait]

Please, please use a table. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10313)

[KillianHawkeye]

The one thing I am noticing here is that all the abilities seem to be using different mechanics for determining the save DCs, some of which I have never ever seen before. I'd suggest sticking to the DC 10 + Level (or 1/2 Level) + relevant ability bonus formula, that all the WotC classes use.


Shadow Craw: Allows the shadow warper to effectively walk through shadows and stay hidden and silent. The shadow warper can only move half his speed. To be seen/heard an enemy must roll a Listen DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+1/2 the shadow warper move silent skill/hide skill. If caught the shadow warper must roll a hide/move silently check to disappear back into the shadows. The check must beat the listen/spot check of the enemy by 5 or more to be successful, if not the shadow warper is found or heard. The shadow warper then becomes flatfooted to the enemy that successfully found him for 1d4 rounds. If the shadow warper successfully hides again the enemy must roll a will save of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+Confusion spell effective LVL (lvl 4) or becomes confused. If the enemy succeeds the will save they disregard what just happened and go about its business. Any spell or affect that removes shadows from an area negates this ability. Free action to perform.

This ability is okay, but I'd fix the save DCs as noted above. Also, the line about being flatfooted seems strange. I've never heard of anything causing you to be flatfooted for more than one round.


Shadow Blade: The shadow warper has become so intoned with the shadows and darkness that it can wield a sword of pure shadow which looks like a bastard sword. The shadow blade does 2d6 DMG at 3rd LVL then every 4th LVL there after it does an additional 2d6 DMG (Max 10d6). The shadow warper blade is his most lethal weapon and favored. As the shadow warper’s skills grow his blade becomes more potent. In order for him to call forth this blade the room/area must have at least 1sq foot of shadow or darkness in the room. Once conjured light spells or effects will not destroy it, nor can it be dispelled, it can not be counter spelled either. If a light source is cast and removes all shadows/ or darkness from the area the ability is broken and the shadow warper can not call upon it until a there is a shadow or darkness in the area again equal to 1 sq foot. It will remain conjured for 3 hours+2 hours for every 4th LVL after the 3rd LVL. If a non-shadow warper class tries to wield the blade they must roll a Will DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Blades LVL (The blades LVL is 3+3 for every 4th LVL of the shadow warper after LVL 3). If successful the blade does no DMG to them but does half DMG to what ever they strike. They may also wield it for 1d10 rounds minus ½ the blades LVL (if they cannot wield it they must drop it or roll another Will DC with a -2 cumulative penalty stacked with the normal Will DC). Rounds to wield the blade do not start until after the initial round the weapon was equipped. If any Will Save is failed the Non-Shadow warper takes DMG equal to the Blades LVL (2d6 @3rd LVL, 4d6 @ 6th LVL, ETC…. Max 10d6) and must drop the blade. They may no longer try to wield it for 1d4 rounds. Full Round Action to summon the blade.

This ability seems a little overpowered, since its damage would stack with the character's Sneak Attack, which I assume the character would be able to use quite often even in the midst of battle. I also would remove the bit about other people wielding the blade and simply make it impossible to disarm or vanish if it is disarmed.

The bolded section is a little hard to understand, so I would change it to the following: "He cannot call forth the blade in an area of bright illumination, but once summoned it cannot be dispelled by any existing light source or effect. The blade can only be dispelled by the casting of a new light spell of higher level. The shadow blade has an effective spell level equal to 1/2 the shadow warper's level."


Silence: Works like the Silence Spell except its self targeting only and has a 5 foot radius from the shadow warper. The shadow warper can use this ability 1/day for every 2nd LVL after 5th LVL. This effect lasts for 2 minutes for every 2nd LVL after the 5th LVL. Can be dispelled, can’t be counter spelled. Free action

Can you please find a simpler way to write this duration? I think this goes for a couple other places in here as well, but writing "X for every Nth lever after Level Y" is forcing players to do math that they may not want to. It would be much easier to follow WotC's example and just state at what levels an ability improves, and also put those improvements onto the class table.


Darkness: Works same as the Darkness Spell. Except the effectiveness is 3 Levels lower than the shadow warper’s LVL. Standard Action

Deeper Darkness: Works same as the Deeper Darkness Spell. Except the effectiveness is 2 Levels lower than the shadow warper’s LVL. Standard Action

Are you referring to the ability's effective spell level? It's not clear.


Shadow Form: Works like the Sanctuary spell except: Also causes the shadow warper to become incorporeal. And grants a +10 to move silently and hide checks. It can not be used with shadow crawl/shadow walk/shadow run. It can be used with shadow port. It cannot be dispelled or counter spelled. It may be used even if no shadows or darkness is present. Light effects and spells do not affect this ability. Standard action to activate. Free action to drop the effect.

This seems unnecessarily complicated to me. Incorporeal usually means invisible, in which case the sanctuary effect doesn't add very much. If they are still going to be visible, you have to explicitly say so. Otherwise, pretty cool!


Shadow Sight: Allows the shadow warper to see as though they had dark vision. It also allows them to see in and through the darkness and deeper darkness spells and abilities and any other magical darkness spells and abilities as though he could see normally. Also allows them to see other shadow warpers in their shadow crawl/walk/run and form abilities as though they weren’t using there abilities. They may fight them as if they weren’t being affected by those abilities as well. Any sudden flash of light or light affects/spells (except while in darkness and deeper darkness; daylight may affect the shadow warper if It is a more powerful effect than the darkness or deeper darkness ability of the shadow warper.) causes the shadow warper to become temporarily blinded (lasts for 1d4 rounds). When surprised by such affects the shadow warper has a 50% chance to be automatically put into shadow form. If a light source is suddenly taken away the shadow warper again becomes blinded for 1d4 rounds and has 50% chance to be automatically put into shadow form. If the shadow warper is prepared for any of these types of sudden changes in light and darkness they are only blinded for 1 round. Gradual changes in light and darkness do not affect the shadow warper such as sunrise and sunset or walking down the street through street lights at night. Shadow sight is a constant affect and can not be turned off.

Pretty good except the blindness and forced shadow form stuff. Is there a reason for this?


Shadow Puppet: Shadow warpers have becomes one with the shadows, thus allowing them to control a target creature/monster/humanoid by jumping into their shadows. The target must roll a successful Fortitude DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ half the targets LVL to prevent the shadow warper from entering its shadow. If failed the shadow warper enters the shadow and the target must roll a successful Will save to prevent the shadow warper from taking control. The Will DC is 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ half the targets LVL. If the will is successful on the targets next turn they may roll a Fortitude save again to try and cast the Shadow warper from its shadow. If the Will save fails the shadow warper takes control of the targets turn making all actions and choices possible for the target even suicide. Also for every failed Will or Fortitude save the DC is increased by +1. Once the target can no longer resist they then become unconscious and can’t come to for 1d6 rounds. The shadow warper then gains total control for that duration. If a any source/effect/spell causes the targets shadow to disappear the shadow warper is cast out violently from the targets shadow ripping it to pieces causing 5d6 DMG to himself and the target. Once the shadow warper is cast from a targets shadow it can no longer attempt to renter the targets shadow for 1d6 rounds. Also the shadow warper takes a -2 on all skill checks, saves AC and Attack against that target. If no shadows are present (meaning a physical shadow cast by a target not just shadows in the room or area) this ability cannot be used. The ability can be used 1/day per LVL no more than 15 times per day. It takes a full round action to perform.

Here again with the save DCs. This is WAY too powerful for a 10th level ability. Also, up to 15 times per day?!?! NO. That is too much. This should be the class' capstone ability. Otherwise, again, pretty cool.


Hypnotizing Sleep: This ability causes a single target to focus on the shadow warper and become hypnotized and fall asleep. To completely negate this effect the target must roll a Will DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Shadow warper’s wisdom score. If the target fails the fall asleep for 1d6 rounds, any action against the target awakens them. Can be used 1/day for every 2 LVLs past LVL 4. Standard Action

This ability seems kind of out of place to me. It just doesn't really go with the rest of the class' abilities. If you want to keep it, then at least fix the description of the uses per day, but it just seems like a gateway for the Dream Walk ability and of not much real use by itself.


Dream Walk: This ability allows the shadow warper to enter a sleeping victim’s dream. The Victim must roll a Will DC of 10+Shadow warper’s LVL + Shadow warpers Wisdom score, if successful the shadow warper cannot enter the victim’s dream and awakens from any sleep effect weather it be natural sleep/poison sleep/spell affect sleep. If unsuccessful the shadow warper gains entry into the victim’s dream and can alter its dream to the point of the victim actually dying. The victim has a 0-10% chance to die. 11-30% chance to go unconscious. 31-50% gain control of the victim for 1d6 rounds. 51-70% nothing happens. 71-90% to cause the victim to become impaired causing a -3 to all saves, attack bonus, ac and skill checks 91-100% to cause the victim to awaken and alert gaining a +3 on all saves, attack bonus, AC, and Skill checks, initiative. If at any time the victim awakens there is a 50% chance the shadow warper becomes temporarily stuck in the victims head for 1d6 rounds or cast out of the victims mind. If the victim dies while the shadow warper is in its dream the shadow warper must wait for 1d10 rounds to be freed from the mind. Can be used 1/day for every 4 LVLs of the shadow warper no more than 5 times per day. Full round action.

This again doesn't seem to have anything to do with shadows. If the ability can only be used on a target who is already sleeping, why is there a chance for the person to become unconscious? Most people that are asleep are already unconscious, IMO. :smallwink:


Shadow Port: The shadow warper has learned to harness the power of shadows enough to actually teleport between them. A shadow warper may teleport between any shadows that has at least 1sq foot area. They may teleport up to a distance of 50 feet at a time and max distance to travel total is 200 feet before they must rest and wait 1d4 hours to use it again or 1d4 rounds if in combat, they may also rest 1 hour or 1 round (if in combat) after each 50ft teleport and they will regain that 50ft movement back to rest in combat the shadow warper must not make any actions during the round nor may they hold actions they must. If attacked while resting at any time the shadow warper must restart the rest period. If a shadow warper uses a creatures shadow to teleport then the creature may roll a Will save DC of 10+shadow warper’s LVL+ Shadow warpers Wisdom. If successful the shadow warper is denied entry and his teleportation stops there next to the target and the target gets an Attack of opportunity on the shadow warper if the target beats the shadow warpers Will save (same Save) by 5 or more. If the target fails the will save the shadow warper passes through its shadow fine and unscathed. If a shadow warper is at any time beaten by a targets will save while using this ability by 5 or more the shadow warper takes 2d4 DMG and must wait 2d4 rounds to teleport again or 2d4 hours to teleport again.

I'd suggest comparing this ability with similar abilities from other classes and spells. And definitely change the resting requirements so that there is just one. Shadows don't care if you are fighting or not.

All in all, it seems like a pretty interesting class and should be pretty fun to play! Just work on the balance a little and you're set.

[keyboardboy101]

Shadow Warper
{table=head]Level|Base Attack<br>Bonus|Fort Save|Ref Save|Will Save|Special

1st|
+0|
+0|
+2|
+0|Sneak attack +1d6

2nd|
+1|
+0|
+3|
+0|Shadow Crawl

3rd|
+2|
+1|
+3|
+1|Shadow Blade 2d6

4th|
+3|
+1|
+4|
+1|Sneak attack +2d6, Hypnotizing sleep

5th|
+3|
+1|
+4|
+1|Silence, Darkness

6th|
+4|
+2|
+5|
+2|Shadow Walk

7th|
+5|
+2|
+5|
+2|Sneak attack +3d6, Shadow Blade 4d6

8th|
+6/+1|
+2|
+6|
+2|Shadow Form, Shadow Sight

9th|
+6/+1|
+3|
+6|
+3|Shadow Run, Deeper Darkness

10th|
+7/+2|
+3|
+7|
+3|Sneak attack +4d6, Improved Silence, Shadow Puppet

11th|
+8/+3|
+3|
+7|
+3|Shadow Blade 4d6

12th|
+9/+4|
+4|
+8|
+4|Shadow Port, Dream Walk

13th|
+9/+4|
+4|
+8|
+4|Sneak attack +5d6

14th|
+10/+5|
+4|
+9|
+4|

15th|
+11/+6/+1|
+5|
+9|
+5|Shadow Blade 8d6

16th|
+12/+7/+2|
+5|
+10|
+5|Sneak attack +6d6

17th|
+12/+7/+2|
+5|
+10|
+5|

18th|
+13/+8/+3|
+6|
+11|
+6|

19th|
+14/+9/+4|
+6|
+11|
+6|Shadow Blade 10d6

20th|
+15/+10/+5|
+6|
+12|
+6|[/table]

Here it is in a nicer format. Now on to the notes: The base attack bonus you gave jumped around at lvl 11 and didnt follow the base attack bonus of any other class... there are standards. You can easily keep you own if you would like, but here is the average progression (like a monk/rogue).

Saves follow two types of progression... I also picked the closest to what you had.

I like the idea behind the class a lot, but I agree with Umarth in that Darkness and Silence, you should probably just give them a certain number of spells per day.

Also, the saves on a lot of the things are weird, maybe using a more standard format would benefit players/DMs and cause less confusion.

Lastly, adding in dreams to a shadow based class might not be the best idea and it creates less feeling of being overpowered. The Shadow blade is a really good idea though, although it should disappear whenever the Shadow warper drops it (like some other classes abilities)

[TheLogman]

Interesting flavor, a good rouge/sneaky type class, with great abilities to augment that sneakiness. It just needs 1 more thing, a capstone. A capstone is a final ability of a class, that last great one that makes taking 20 levels of this class all worthwhile. So, think up the greatest, coolest, most class-related power you can, and allow someone to take this, and finish in style.

[exodus_dragon]

Ok Here is the table that it should be hopefully this is better.


{table=head]Level | Base Attack | Fortitude Save | Reflex Save | Will Save |Special Ability
1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | Sneak attack 1d6
2 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 1 | Shadow Crawl
3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Shadow Blade 2d6
4 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 2 | Sneak attack 2d6, Hypnotizing sleep
5 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 2 | Silence, Darkness
6 | 5 | 3 | 4 | 3 | Shadow Walk
7 | 6 | 3 | 4 | 3 | Sneak Attack 3d6, Shadow Blade 4d6
8 | 7/2 | 3 | 5 | 3 | Shadow Form, Shadow Sight
9 | 7/2 | 4 | 5 | 4 | Shadow Run, Deeper Darkness
10 | 8/3 | 4 | 6 | 4 | Improved Silence, Shadow Puppet
11 | 10/5 | 4 | 6 | 4 | Shadow Blade 6d6
12 | 11/6 | 5 | 7 | 5 | Shadow Port, Dream Walk
13 | 11/6 | 5 | 7 | 5 |
14 | 12/7 | 5 | 8 | 5 |
15 | 13/8/3 | 6 | 8 | 6 | Shadow Blade 8d6
16 | 14/9/4 | 6 | 9 | 6 |
17 | 14/9/4 | 6 | 9 | 6 |
18 | 15/10/5 | 7 | 10 | 7 |
19 | 16/11/6 | 7 | 10 | 7 | Shadow Blade 10d6
20 | 17/12/7 | 7 | 11 | 7 |[/table]


The abilities do have a purpose.

the shadow form works like the clerics santuary where they cant make any threatening advances like attacking. but they can still heal others and such. but my shadow form also give incorporeal. and according to the book it doesnt make them invisible it makes them like ghosts where normal weapons cant hurt them they need magical weapons and such.

and the silence its used where he can sneak up on an opponent and then it silences his square and the opponents square so there will be no noise while he kills the opponent. the shadow warper doesnt cast spells so the silence doesnt affect him like that all it does is makes sure he makes absolutely no noise.

the shadow crawl walk and run. basically allows him to hide and move silently automatically.without rolling. but they cannont attack while in these forms basically its a scouting ability.

most saves against the shadow warper are WILL based


as far as dream walk goes it works on a % bases with specific incraments. and the hypnotize ist just geared for the dream walk ability it allows him to put some one to sleep and coupe de gra if he wants. and some one that is asleep is not unconscious they are asleep and can awaken from it. and unconscious person cannot awaken from being unconscious.


i will look more in to fixing the bugs and i appreciate the criticism keep them coming.

[exodus_dragon]

here is the capstone ability


Shadow Charge: the shadow warper can spend time to absorb and manipulate shadows in the room or area. The shadow warper can absorb a single 5sq foot area of shadow per round and turn it into 1d6 aoe Shadow dmg. the shadow warper can absorb as much shadow as in the area. if there is a darkness spell the shadow warper can absorb that as well reducing the darkness effective area by 5 sq feet (adding an additional 1d6 dmg per 5sq ft removed. once the shadow warper has gathered enough energy he may hold it for up to 1d4 hours before releasing it if they go past that they must roll a Will DC of 10+ their LVL+1 for every 1d6 stored other wise it explodes violently. if the shadow warper releases the charge all creatures within 40ft radius that are considered enemies must roll a WILL dc of 10+shadow warper lvl+1 for every 1d6 dmg being dealt. if they succeed they take half dmg (evasion does not prevent dmg). all friendly targets must roll a Will DC of 10+shadow warpers LVL+1 for every 2d6 dmg being dealt. if they succeed they take 1/4 of the dmg, if they fail they take half the dmg.
Once the shadow warper has used this ability they can not use any of there shadow abilities for 1hour per 1d6 dmg dealt. they also become Fatigued, and and cannot perform an action for 1d4 rounds except movement at half speed. when a shadow warper does this they spend all of there powers for one large blast completely draining them untill they rest for the specific time period. a shadow warper may store as much energy equal to 1d6 per LVl not to exceed 15d6. If they try to store more energy than that they must roll a Will DC of 10+their lvl+1 for every 1d6 stored above 15d6 to hold it and they must roll that every hour to maintain the storage. a shadow warper may discharge the energy freely without dealling DMG to anyone but must do it over 2 hour period of resting to release the energy slowly and properly. if a shadow warper is using any other abilities such as the shadow blade those abilities immediately stop (so the shadow blade would dissapear).'


This is the capstone. pls give the advice you think nessecsary

[Umarth]

Shadowcharge is pretty lame for a capstone ability. You basically gave them the ability to cast a fireball that compleatly messes them up for hours after.

Again I'd also say I don't understand how this works thematically with the rest of the abilities.


Now that you've got everything into a chart I see a couple more items that you probably want to take a look at.

1) Frontloaded. Everything is gained by level 12. These abilities should really be spread out over the full 20 levels. As it is right now their is no real reason to take your class past level 12.

2) As Keyboardboy said you don't follow standard BAB or Save progressions. Unless you have a very good reason not to (such as your homebrew world has a whole diffrent set of progressions that are standard) I'd switch to the progression Keyboardboy used.


Shadowform - I understand mechanically how this works. What I don't understand is why the class gets it. Uberassasin of the shadows can become non-threatening so that his ghostly form can walk right past the kings guards? Sanctuary just doesn't seem to fit this class. My recomendation would be to change it to follow the gaseous form spell and leave the name and flavortext shadowform.

Silence - Why not just have them able to cast silence? Maybe make it's range personal.

Shadow crawl/walk/run - You can probably get the same effect by saying:
Shadow crawl - A Shadow dude can take 10 on all move silently and hide checks even when threatened.
Shadow walk - A Shadow dude gains a +5 bonus to hide and move silently checks while moving at half his speed or greater.
Shadow run - A Shadow dude gains a +20 bonus to hide and move silently checks while moving at more than twice his speed.

Also make sure that you add ranges to all your abilities.

[exodus_dragon]

To be honest you are right i didnt follow BAB standards and i do have my homebrew world that doesnt exactly follow book criteria. secondly there are a lot of downsides to the abilities as to keep it from being overpowered there are reasons behind my homebrew yes but as i asked i wanted some criticism and you haave all given me great advice now i just need to know where to get the BAB standards from ill i did was take the Rogue class and basically modded i took the reflexes down by 1 or 2 and upped the attack and other saves by 1 for every level. i kept the sneak attack up to 3d6 because the blade does get powereful as he levels up. other wise at lvl 3 its pretty low on DMG it only gets stronger when you get past lvl 10. The shadow charge is a basic shut down but can do a massive amounts of dmg. i guess i could up the dmg quantity from like D6 to maybe D8 or D10 that should make it more of a capstone. like wise this ability is a main use for "oh my god we cant beat what we are fighting BOOOOM" notice it does less dmg to friendies. but pls if i could get a format sent to me so i can go over it and adjust it to 3.5 D&D BAB standards.

Again i appreciate the help i am still kind of new at this whole homebrew stuff and i actually prefer to use the books as a guide and not actual rules. i have also created a Race called Gemsouls if any one wants to look at taht as well and give me some more advice on them but i definitely could use the standard format to creating classes and such would be awesome. i tried to use the DM guide but didnt help much.

[exodus_dragon]

also the silence and darkness spells work like a spell except its a perday set up they can only do it so many times a day. but basically it is a self target spell (ability) that they can do 1 a day for every 2 lvls

[Umarth]

If you haven't seen it yet this thread: http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10313

Has a ton of guidelines on homebrewing and some standard formatting you can use.

BAB follows one of three formulas:
Base Attack Bonus
Good: Equal to HD
Average: 3/4 of HD
Poor: 1/2 of HD

Saves follow one of two:
Saves
Good: 2 plus 1/2 of HD
Poor: 1/3 of HD

While Shadow Charge may seem like a lot of damage its actually very underwhelming.

Let's do a comparison
Shadow Charge = 15d6 dmg. Avg before saves 52.5 damage.
Cone of Cold (5th level spell) cast at level 20 = 15d6 dmg. Avg before saves 52.5 damage.
Meteor Swarm = 8d6x4. No saves against a single target 112 damage.
Weird = Save or die all within 30 feet.

Shadow Charge basically gives you the equivelent of a 5th level spell. This is a spell that it's unlikely the caster in your group is going to be casting unless the fight is a joke and they don't want to waste resources.

If your going with a shadowy/dreamy type killer anyway I'd say just give them the ability to cast Weird 1/day or 1/12 hours or something like that. Probably not even a need to have it penalize them.