View Full Version : Bards worthy of song!

2007-09-12, 12:57 PM
A call to all Bards, Troubadores, and merrymakers!
the time has come to set aside the epic tales of others. the time has come to tell your own!
be it a tale of great sorrow or fabulous mirth? take centre stage now performers! and spin tales of your legend!

what was the best bard you ever played, their quirks, their persona, their perform skills, their memorable moments?

2007-09-12, 03:01 PM
Well, I never actually played this guy. My DM did. It was a sort of futuristic-fantasy setting: magical spaceships and the like.

His character, Dell Brandstone, was pretty much an ideal bard: pumped the social skills, didn't deal a lot of damage in combat, and so wasn't targeted in combat much -- while he beefed up all of his allies so that they could completely trash the enemy. It's a gestalt setting; I think he was gestalted with Rogue, though I'm not sure; I don't remember these things. I know he took levels in the custom-PrC Blockade Runner, and the regular PrC Spymaster. I wouldn't be surprised to see Dread Pirate, either.

He tells a story all the time about how his wife got mad at him over something involving an evil elf. So to fix it, he polymorphed into a female of the same evil-elf species, screwed the guy unconscious with his psychotic score in Perform: Kama Sutra (I'm not kidding -- max ranks and huge Charisma), and slit his throat in his sleep.

Or the time he went to a hugely technological part of the universe (most of the known universe knows nothing about actual technology, just creatively-used magic) and found a supply of nonmagical computers. Nobody in the rest of the galaxy had ever seen a computer before, so he grabbed up a big stock of them and went back home, where he sold them off at massive, ridiculous profit. It wasn't until later that he discovered he had a computer salesman named Dell.

2007-09-12, 05:33 PM
My greatest bard, Cormac, was a 5th level Druid/9th level bard at retirement (I goofed; I should've gone to 7th level druid for the shapechanging).


Here's his greatest performance:


Dr. Weasel
2007-09-12, 05:34 PM
Norton Tubble, the Half-Elf Swashbuckling Lecturer.
He was sharp (18 intelligence on creation. Only 13 charisma, but that's a sucker's stat anyway) and always played the peacemaker despite having no ranks in social skills.
He was a pacifist who constantly tried to scare off any opponents with Suggestion and the Intimidate skill only to be foiled by the hackers and the slashers who would weasel in some reason to loose an arrow. The whole campaign was just a constant cycle of him trying to be dashing and smooth only to be eaten by rats (They ate his face at third level, were raised as undead to eat his face again at seventh level and were Enlarged [via DM-says-a-spell-does-that-so-it-does] to eat his face again at eleventh level.)

Mechanically he had Combat Expertise, Weapon Finesse, Jack of All Trade, and Arcane Strike and had to fill every traditional party role (Tank thanks to Expertise and Mirror Image, Skill-Guy from Bardic Knack and 10 skill points/level, Healer because ours kept dying and Arcanist because the majority of my group thinks wizards are underpowered*).

*Yes I know very well how strong they are. Please feel free not to leave a long ranting post telling me such or telling me to show them otherwise.

2007-09-12, 05:45 PM
never played him, but thinking of an upcomming villian group if i ever dm again soon.


Another thing about the wonderful Dragonfire inspiration. Dragonfire Inspiration is not a moral bonus to attack and damage like normal Inspire Courage is, it is a flat untyped energy bonus.

This means you can get 5 bards to do this.

Round 1
Bard 1: Gives Sonic Damage
Bard 2: Gives Fire Damage
Bard 3: Gives Cold Damage
Bard 4: Gives Elecriticy Damage
Bard 5: Gives Acid Damage

Round 2:
Bard 1: Uses his traditional Inspire Courage Ability, he is now giving the attack bonus and attack damage to his allies.

Note instead of 5 bards you can have a 6th bard. The one who uses traditional inspire courage though has to delay his initative until after the 5 energy bards use their inspire courage else it is lossed.

Good Catch on the Dread Pirate, I didn't even notice that before but knew of all the other ways to boost a bard.


I can see now great addition to an eberron world. Pirates who fly airships similar to skies of arcadia/eberrron. The most feared pirate group is the 5 dragon clan, who boasts 5 captains who each has a unique dragon as a totem. They are feared all through out eberron. There crews consists of normal bards, variant bards (such as the one who produces fear instead of courage), warrior skallad (imported from Forgotten Realms), Warchanters (who boost the bab of the weaker pirates), Sublime Chord/Virutsos (need magic after all to provide teleport for the pirates), and lowly pirates archers (whose bab are boosted by the warchanters) as well as other forms of variant pirates/bard themes.

Add in some bards who are also paladin of slaughter
lion barbarian subsitution level from Complete Champion
TOB adepts (with song of the white raven)
and/or bards who have taken snowflake wardance.
Also add the feat where you can give DR of 5/- to one person, have the medium level people do it for the captain.

Oh having lowly pirates (bards/crusaders with song of the white raven) using white raven tactics on the pirate captains can get pretty sick real quick.

The 5 dragon clan is so powerful that when the 5 captains work together and are all in one location there power can threaten nations. It is a small organization, small and elite, only boasting about 400 pirates (which is the most Blackbeard every had). They purposefully reduce their numbers, only allowing the strong to join, and sacrificing the weak in battle (or giving them jobs that are non-pirate related such as spies, cooks at the base, merchants who travel and sell there wares in exchange for gold) for each additional man is a smaller share of the bounty.

Note though they are only powerful if the 5 dragon captians are working together, if they aren't working together they are much weaker. Because pirates are naturally looking out for number 1 and they are all captains they are plotting backstabbing but won't do so unless they know it will be safe and they don't expect a betrayl/mutiny of their own.

Only thing you really need to do now is import the exalted feat words of creation to a similar evil feat.

I posted this post in the bardic courage optimization thread here

2007-09-12, 06:02 PM
Best bard? Well, I've got two on the go at the moment.

My main one is Sigmund, Bard 9/Fighter 1 (took the one level dip to get Weapon finesse). His chosen weapon is the whip. With a strength of 10, he's not going to do much tripping, but he can disarm with the best of them!

One encounter that sticks in my mind is the party of Drow that had ambushed us. There was the stereotypical dumb fighter, the wizard, a rogue and a priestess of Lolth.

The wizard was taken out by our wizard with a well-placed Blind spell. He couldn't direct his Crushing Hand without sight. The figher then fell to an Insect Swarm...of spiders! While he was stuck between wanting to let the spiders crawl all over him (spiders good!) and killing them because they were biting him (Ow! Spiders bad! But Lolth likes spiders! Ow!!), our fighter smacked seven shades of snot out of him. Their rogue was out-sneaked by ours and met a messy end. That just left the priestess.

She had been causing no end of trouble with a bow, so I tumbled over and...CRACK!...her bow was on the floor! Ha, score one for me! She then draws her sword...CRACK!...that soon joined the bow! Score two for the bard! Rather than attack her, I just waited, knowing that backup was on the way. Every time she tried to pick something up, it was disarmed. By the time she tried to do something else, she got mashed and sneak attacked to death!

I learned early on that playing a bard doesn't get you many kills, but it's the support that matters.

2007-09-12, 06:28 PM
My best character was dubbed Bardy Mcbardbard, the (after about 8 months of play) lvl 15 47ish grizzled veteran of:
8 wars,
23 dragons,
2 linchs,
45 assassination attempts,
39 rock slides,
and the king of a country the size of Australia.
Married to 2 succubus's,
4 archangels,
3 head priestess,
and 1 Ooze. (don't ask)
He killed the three snake gods of:
and world,
traveled to paradise and back,
and was the only PC to last more than 2 lvls.

His base stats where:
Str: 12
Dex: 11
Con: 10
Int: 7
Wis: 4
Cha: 13
And in the end he died of a heart attack after repelling the horde of Blood Elementals set lose by a jilted lover.
I miss him so much. :smallfrown:

Totally Guy
2007-09-12, 06:48 PM
My greatest Bard was called Holden and here is his epic tale.

In the town of Blackwall, which is where he grew up
He got all his skills from the dice cup
He gambled from a young age at the back of the pub
and soon he had his own gaming club

The club it grew larger and less satisfied
with the town and the actions it was taking worldwide
He said to his people that this would be changed
He got them a base and the room rearranged

They practiced their swordskills and he was not bad
He was doing quite well with the talent he had
But whent it came to further the cause
He wouldn't allow them to start their street wars

and so out on his ear he suddenly fell
and on this matter we'd rather not dwell
He learnt of the temple and the Dark Lords transport (the dark lord had a flying castle powered by an altar in a temple)
And with this magic device he sought to consort

But a party of sorts was already there
And of our common goals he made them aware
To send the castle straight into the ground
It's the kind of deed that'd get him well renowned

Some monsters jumped out when they were in the crypt
they had many battles but you know the script
He played with the alter of magic unknown
but got interrupted and turned into stone

And the wizard got hurt and was a halfling no more
and in new goblin form went to the old magic store (hehe reincarnation)
To search for a scroll which is what he would need
to turn stone to flesh and allow them to proceed

And the castle had crashed down onto the plain
The villagers woke and the looked on in pain
for they were supporters of the evil dark lord
and he was then within reach and this could not be ignored

An illusion so cunning is what they all found
The dark lord on his throne standing his ground
The party charged forward with an all out attack
whilst Holden the bard healed from the back

The illusion it crumbled as the party was fooled
And confused the collective knowledge they pooled
The dark lord had died some months ago
and he'd been replaced but they didn't know

Distintergration was launched at the party from behind
It damaged Holden his heart, soul and mind
A deadlier lord than the one from before
had killed the party bard and they looked up in awe

He was eventually beaten but only just
they used so many items they'd nearly gone bust
A priest was grateful for the scourge being purged
and grateful he was with a ressurrection he splurged

Holden awoke t'was the end of his quest
the times had been tough and he'd dueled with the best
He started to sing a song on the move
but as he discovered he'd lost his groove

Whatever had happened it seemed truly awful
Holden the Bard had shifted to Lawful
He loved being a bard and this change, it stung
This song is in remembrance of each song he'd sung.

Of course bards don't lose and class features by shifting alignments, he can still perform. Really I think the party was just trying to stop him coming up with any new songs about mundane monsters. No, that's not right either, I just made up the bit about shifting alignments when considering future storylines.

2007-09-12, 07:03 PM
EDIT: Just remembered: the other players in our campaign should not read this post. You know who you are.

I haven't gotten to play her yet, but I hope to tell the story of Lady Elina d'Lyrandar soon. Although, since I'm creating her at 11th level, she's already got a bit of a backstory.

Her dragonmark manifested itself at about the same time she decided to become a singer (at about 14 years old). Since then, she has combined singing in Sharn's theaters and taverns with exploring the underlevels and befriending children of the slums. As her persuasive abilities and her dragonmark grew in power, she started using both to aid the City Watch, gaining friends among its commanders. Her contacts allowed her to go underground when the government of Breland and House Lyrandar engaged in a little diplomatic tension (the type of diplomatic tension that results in Lyrandars being wanted criminals). She soon began focusing more on her dragonmark and its powers, but she still works to perfect her singing and her powers of persuasion. At 17, she became a windwright captain - one of the youngest in Lyrandar history. House Lyrandar gave her a ship, the Defiant Storm, and she perfected her flying abilities in the skies and urban canyons of Sharn. Now 18, she prepares to leave Sharn for the first time in her life and travel to Stormhome, House Lyrandar's center of operations, where she will see her father again for the first time in - well, maybe a half year. What happens next......... will be defined at the gaming table. That's all I have.

2007-09-12, 07:08 PM
Kael Skypony (of the Uthgardt Skyponies) a Warrior Skald who refused to believe his music wouldn't effect the undead....

2007-09-12, 11:00 PM
I think there should be some sort of epic level skill check for perform to control undead via your music and make them dance along. The bard who invented this would be named "Mikhail Juksun" and would've first done it with a massive perform (Dance) check.

2007-09-13, 12:10 AM
Makes me think of the scene in the underworld in Tim Burton's Corpsebride with the Jazz Skeletons. I'm tempted to write a character that has skeletons randomly appear and act out his lyrics as he sings... mmm tasy Jazz.

2007-09-13, 12:32 AM
I had a bard once (the name escapes me at the moment), a bard/rogue/dread pirate he was, and a might good pirate was he. Oratory was his perform of choice (though his footwork on the dancefloor was known far and wide) inspiring the salty sea dogs to battle with great speeches and confident commands in battle. He was a demon with a pair of cutlasses, tearing all who dare oppose him asunder.

His exploits where many, to much to list here, but he once robbed an entire shape blind, without the crew even noticing through clever use of facinate.

2007-09-13, 01:11 AM
I still think my best bard was one I never got to play. It was one of several GPCs I created (Guest PC, it's a weird concept that seems to work. I get invited to lots of games for one-shot appearances. I have a collection of these GPCs that I can pull out, wander through someones game, *confuse the heck out of the players* and wander back out... Sorta like Bombadil in Lord of the Rings... :smallbiggrin: )

He was a Bardic Centaur, named Star. Star, from Silverpool.

One of his songs was about when his old adventuring buddies went and stole some jewels from a Cloud Giant's castle (situated quite naturally on a cloud).

"Looting in the sky for diamonds.."

One of these days those dice that keep getting thrown at me during games will put out an eye, I swear... :smallsmile:

2007-09-13, 01:15 AM
*throws dice at Fhaolan*

2007-09-13, 06:42 AM
My Best Bard was Celaeno The Cloud, half elf bard (sub level) 6 Lyric Thaumaturge 5 Sublime Chord 8 Mindbender 1. S/he was an androgynous seduction expert. S/he would sometimes magically disguise itself as a teenager and kill pedophiles. \m/ It's spellbook focused on Illusion, Enchantment and Sonic spells(obviously). Disguise Spell, Melodic Casting, and that Cityscape metamagic spell that changes the point of a spells emanation the name of which eludes me at the moment let it become an urban assassin who specializes in very public brain-splosions. Energy Substitution for a sonic stun ray and shivering touch, yeah!!!

2007-09-13, 08:09 AM
If you’re a bragging sorcerer,
Or a dusty bookish mage,
A thief or rogue or chancer,
A barbarian filled with rage,
A fighter in full armour
A ranger with two blades,
A monk who… I can’t remember…
A paladin who fights crusades,
A priestly servant of a god,
A druid in a field,
Or a psion (if you’re odd),
Then the time has come to yield
Your place in deeds of daring
To heroes swift and bold
Who are also kind and caring,
And modest too, I’m told.
Come now, admit you know it’s true -
Try not to take it hard -
Anything that you can do,
Can be done by a bard!
And once this little song is done,
Please give a great hurray
For the world’s most famous one:
Keldar, Keldar Warbray!
And if you are a pretty dame
Excited by this jingle,
Quickly now, put in your claim -
As yet, he is still single!

The stupid thing is that Keldar only thinks he's a bard. He's a Rogue 1.

Duke of URL
2007-09-13, 08:29 AM
My best Bard isn't a PC, but rather an NPC I wrote for a design contest: Eveylene Fayrell (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45007)

2007-09-14, 12:18 PM
ha! these are great, I love to poems some people have written.
our group has a kua-toa bard who uses bongos and sings the murlock song (sorry if the spelling is off, I don't play WoW)