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View Full Version : DM Help Not Sure if Best Player Ever ... Or Worst Player? (Long stories)



CheeseM0nkey
2018-08-21, 07:59 PM
Hello GITP community. I am Cheesemonkey, a longtime lurker around here, DND player, and OOTS fan. I've been using this community as a resource for ideas, and advice for many years, hidden in the shadows, watching, learning.

I'm a fairly regular dungeon master for a group of friends (sometimes we switch up who DMs). One of my players, let's call him MP, has been giving me a lot of grief. However, I'm wondering if it's me and I'm just overwhelmed (he's very smart) by his shenanigans. He's creative and hilarious at times. I would be very welcome to an experienced outsider perspective on how you see some of his choices.

MP insists on being the black-sheep in the group. More often then not, he builds characters that intentionally subvert the theme of the campaign. His general temperament is verbally harassing everyone he meets, but avoiding combat as much as possible (except with PCs). He avoid most classic DNDisms, and almost never loots bodies. He won't write down gold on his character sheet because he "doesn't need it". He doesn't worry about any in world problems (your family has been kidnapped, the Duke is oppressing people, two nations disagree on how to handle war prisoners...) and actively avoid things not related to the specific script of his own personality features. Here are some of the characters he's come up with, in order (as they get increasingly insane, in my opinion). Also, I have talked to him about this up front. I've said I find his characters difficult to work with, and he basically said "that's how I like to play, deal with it." The two biggest issues, which are avoiding participating in the spirit of the adventure and intentionally obsoleting the rest of the party, he has said "are not on purpose" and he's just trying to make "creative characters". I also want to note I encourage players to optimize, and I have no problems challenging them, but I care a lot when they obsolete and ruin the fun of other party members.

#1
Setting: In a campaign where the PCs are convicted criminals (either justly or unjustly, player's choice) in a corrupt world, they must fight through a complex gladiator pit to earn fame, power, and freedom, while uncovering the mysterious powers behind the their incarceration.

MP: He made his character a mute slave named Oarsman 413, who is incapable of anything other than single word utterances. He has zero understanding of anything outside of the oar he was chained to from birth, and fights with it in the pits, hitting people with it. His actual ability scores are a highly optimized monk who was by far the most powerful PC in the group. However, he refused to ever interact with any NPC, ever, the entire campaign. This made it very difficult to involve him in any dimension of the story. The campaign ended with most PCs dying after constantly trying to fight their prison wardens, and some escaping the pits to freedom, but literally all they did was fight gladiator battles every week.

#2
Setting: Star Wars, expanded universe, New Republic Era, aftermath of the Yuuzhan Vong Invasion / Legacy EU. The PCs are free to make any character they want, but I requested they give a reason why they're affiliated with each other.

MP: He made his character a shard (force sensitive droid). To hide his race, he spoke exclusively through a vox box (ten programmed phrases). He also maxxed out his use of the Farseeing power (including taking the talent that doubles your farseeing uses, and the one that lets Farseeing swap with any other force power you have prepared). Using this, he spams telekinetic combat while walking around with his hands in his pockets whistling, dressed as a normal civilian. Again, his character was significantly more optimized than the rest of the party, to the point where he could effortlessly solo the whole group. He also mind tricked/future sighted every single NPC, including using destiny points and force points to do this across planets. Basically his character ended up playing something akin to the Oracle from the matrix, never needing leaving his bunker, and not coming with the rest of the party on adventures. This took many set pieces, moments, and character interactions and made them largely pointless, as one character was completely absent, yet was so powerful with force abilities he could mind control anyone else. The campaign ended with the other PCs working out the story, and MP's character doing nothing the final few sessions.

#3
Setting: Star Wars, hypothetical story connecting Return of the Jedi to The Force Awakens

MP: He named his character "Hennet the Sorcerer" and believes the entire world is a mirage arcana, and he's actually a wizard. His only goal is to escape this cursed labyrinth and get back to his real home. He refers to starships as "lame planeshifting magic items", glowsticks as sunrods, and "casts" lightning bolt at people. He also complained whenever I gave him darkside points for using Force Lightning because in his mind he's just using lightning bolt and believed his intent matters more. As the story went on, he shifted from assuming this world was fake into knowing he's in a DND game, a meaningful difference. He quickly ended up in character referring to sidequests, NPCs, and "lame plot hooks". Frequently he would verbally abuse characters because "Hennet believes they are NPCs, and they don't have any minds." I pointed out that is a lot different than his initial idea, but he just laughed it off and said "Hennet is a senile old man. You can't really take what he says seriously." The campaign ended in PVP, and Hennet the Sorcerer killed everyone.

#4
Setting: Fantasy, Dungeons and Dragons 3.5 Edition cosmology, but the material plane has been shattered into pieces by an unknown cataclysm, 12 years ago. Regular races like humans and dwarves have drifted through the astral plane and been forced to make a living in the exotic outer planes. PCs can choose any of the major inner planes which they have built a home on, and are required to give a reason why they want to figure out what happened 12 years ago.

MP: He named his character Dr. Astros and basically copied Dr. Strange from the MCU, but a sorcerer. He's a doctor who very quickly became a master of the arcane arts. After some bad experiences with 3.5's balance, I had let the players use core (PHB 1/2, Complete Series) plus one other splatbook of their choice that was thematically related to their build. MP selected Dragon Magic, because "he's a powerful mage", and spammed wings of cover + dragon magic to the point where he could easily handle epic level monsters while the rest of the party had members such as a non-multiclassed 8th level paladin. In addition to literally blowing up whatever he felt like, he dominated the evil PCs who disagreed with him. His character's only goal was to become headmaster of a secretly run free astral deva clinic in the City of Brass. We had a TPK when the party decided to planeshift into the Water Plane without any form of underwater breathing (I even butted in and stopped them, and asked for Knowledge the planes checks, which they all passed and I explained the properties to the water plane).

#5
Setting: Pathfinder, a sequel to one of our older campaigns, 100 years after. Steampunk / magi-tech dystopia. Small group (3) so each PC made 2 characters.

MP: He made both his character recurring NPCs from the older campaign... that were humans. So they were 124 years old. He appropriately applied age penalties and everything. He went into great detail on trying to accurately portray being a 124 year old fossil, including running from most character he met, needing a walker to get around, forgetting everyone's names, and very specific dietary restrictions. Oh, and divine metamagic cheese cleric buffing, so he could turn into an unstoppable juggernaut whenever he felt like winning. This was very sneaky, because the rest of the party had no idea how strong his characters were. And honestly, it was funny. But there wasn't a single encounter of normal DnD combat, no puzzle of how to overcome a specific obstacle. The rest of the group plugged along, but were so disorganized, even level appropriate encounters were overpowering them.

The general trend: MP is a very funny guy, and a good friend of mine. However, on a campaign level, he picks characters that really badly (in my opinion) hurt the immersion of the world, especially the fun of a fantasy adventure. I've told him this, and he just flat out disagrees with me. He also likes to sit out for extended period, let the rest of the group talk, then teleport in and solve things himself.

Session by session: I've asked MP many times if he actually finds this fun, and if DnD is the right game for him. He always says yes. But every session, he seems to get the most fun out of insulting my ideas. I'm not a great DM, but I try my best. Our more recent sessions have gone something like:

>Introduce some element of the world
>"What do you do?"
>MP remarks how stupid and lame it is
>Rest of party tries dumb things because none of them are very genre savvy, get themselves into trouble and complain
>MP then solves the puzzle in the most efficient way he can using his highly optimized characters, and remarks how stupid the rest of the group is for not immediately understanding my stupid ideas
>MP tells the party: "Cheese clearly wants us to to explore this temple, so we should explore it. Otherwise, we'll have wasted his time preparing."
>I tell them they can do what they want, it's a free world
>"Let's go climb that mountain in the distance"
>I remind them they learned five minutes ago the mountain is ruled by aboleth seers who have been pulling strings behind the scenes and they're fifth level
>They go anyway
>I give them a tough encounter and present some sidequests. They ignore them all.
>"He really doesn't want us to go into the mountain"
>"We keep going. He's going to be so mad at us, teehee."
>I remind them the campaign ends if they die
>"We keep going."
>MP rolls up his sleeves and opens up Dragon Magic
>One or two players dies, MP and the others escape
>"What now?"
>"The story is ruined if some of us are dead. We should start a new campaign."
>I tell them they can make new characters and I'll introduce them into the world
>"I can't wait to derail Cheese's next adventure. He's gonna be so mad."
>MP tells them they're all bad and they suck for dying

It's also significant to mention that when the other group members occasionally DM, MP is generally a much tamer, more normal player. He made a normal duskblade who had lost his crew and was trying to lead people to freedom, a posh butler germaphobe, etc. But he participated in the story as a member of the adventuring party like a normal PC would, and didn't constantly berate the DM. Just me he does this to. MP is absolutely not a murderhobo. In fact, he avoid fighting most of the time, and enjoys fighting fellow PCs much more than NPCs or monsters. He complains at every dungeon crawl, and will often spout "AHHA! I knew this was a dungeon crawl. Almost fooled me there."

One final point. As a person, I'm very soft spoken. Most people call me gentle, and I'm the listener in all my social groups. Because of this, I've earned a reputation as an extremely lenient DM. To the point where my group says "Cheese will let us get away with literally anything. Isn't that great??" Some of the more serious / quiet players have also approached me in private and requested I increase the severity of my punishments, as they don't like their fellow players ruining the session with their tomfoolery. Yet, I've wiped the party dozens of times. In the past year and a half we've been through 5 campaigns and at least fifty PCs. Almost every world ends with everyone in the world trying to kill most of the PCs for various reasons and, depending on the lore I've set up, the authorities after them have mixed success.

It's my personal motto of "Talk to players, punish PCs". I feel like I'm punishing PCs as much as I can, but they a) don't seem to feel it, as they keep making very poor decisions and b) don't seem to feel it, because they've told me they want more severe punishments. So I guess that's a separate, related issue.

Personally, I feel like I've talked to my group enough that I'm ready to walk away and tell them to find another player. They don't seem to enjoy the game the same way I do, and every conversation ends with them asserting yes, they are having fun. Likewise, I find the way MP sits back and picks apart things frustrating, but he doesn't see it as a problem.

What do all you veterans think? Is this just a very bright guy who is competitive and wants a bigger challenge? Is there anything from an adventure design standpoint you've picked up to help with players like this?

Thank you kindly for your time.

Quertus
2018-08-21, 08:34 PM
Allowing anything is great. Keep doing that.

However, one thing to consider not allowing is parties of such disparate power levels.

EDIT: don't get me wrong - if that works for your group, great! I've played a game with Thor and a sentient potted plant. I was the plant. It was great. But it's not for everyone.

Louro
2018-08-21, 09:08 PM
Well, he's telling you. "Can't wait to derail your next session". He isn't playing DnD.

He wins the game by either cheating* or having the game ruined. Both of them disrespectful towards you and the other players.

*Force lighting - lighting bolt. Good move, but don't allow such things when you know it's not flavour but rules exploiting.

If wanna keep trying a PvP setting where you actually have to interact with the world to progress might work. Paranoia style?

Erit
2018-08-21, 09:53 PM
Allowing anything is great. Keep doing that.

However, one thing to consider not allowing is parties of such disparate power levels.

I lean more towards the second line than the first; I generally slap down anything that actively harms or sabotages the enjoyment of someone else at the table. And this includes the enjoyment of the DM.

OP, it's sounding like dude is doing something a friend and I sometimes got into before we parted ways; he's screwing around because he trusts you'll let him get away with it. And in some social settings that's fine in my opinion, it's how some people bond. But tabletop gaming isn't one of those, and your buddy needs to either learn this, or stop being invited to play at tables you're the GM of. Especially if you want him to actually stop this crap. My nephew thought it was funny to thrash his little brother with a stick, but both his parents got on his ass faster than a speeding Xeph Monk because it doesn't matter a damn if he thought it was funny; it wasn't okay. MP, in my opinion, needs a similar boot-up-the-ass lesson.

FoxWyrd
2018-08-21, 10:24 PM
He's bored.

You need to beat him at his own game.

Reversefigure4
2018-08-22, 03:28 AM
My question would be why you've GMed five campaigns for this guy? He sounds like King Asshat. "Refuses to engage plot" is a death sentence for campaigns that should be enough to kick him out. Add in "massively over-optimises, then abuses the group for not doing the same" and "deliberately builds characters counter to campaign premise", "complains endlessly", and "actively endeavours to sabotage campaign, considering it a mark of accomplishment when he does so"... and I struggle to imagine how you've gone through this many campaigns. He might have made it to a second one of my campaigns if he promised to stop behaving like an ass. He wouldn't have made it to campaign 3.

I don't think it's a coincidence that you've been through 5 campaigns and 50 PCs in the last 18 months, particularly if this player is deliberately killing them off.

It sounds like you've already asked him to knock it off. He's refused. At this point he's putting up a big sign that says "My fun is more important than anyone else's at the table." There's no changing that.

It's time for him to go. No question. The only problem is whether you think the group dynamics will be happy with simply playing without him. If you don't think the group dynamics will support that and you want to retain the group of friends, simply explain to the group that you won't be GMing anymore because you're not having any fun (it doesn't sound like you are), and hand somebody else, possibly Problem Child, the reins to DM. (Then work hard at restraining your natural urge to purposefully derail his campaigns).

Wraith
2018-08-22, 04:42 AM
Session by session: I've asked MP many times if he actually finds this fun, and if DnD is the right game for him. He always says yes. But every session, he seems to get the most fun out of insulting my ideas.


One final point. As a person, I'm very soft spoken. Most people call me gentle, and I'm the listener in all my social groups. Because of this, I've earned a reputation as an extremely lenient DM. To the point where my group says "Cheese will let us get away with literally anything. Isn't that great??"

I feel that this is the point upon which you should focus. You have spotted that your friend is a problem player, and you have asked him whether or not he has a problem, only to be told "no". That is commendably polite and considerate of you, and you should be proud that you are not quick to judge or too heavy handed.

However.

To be blunt, "no" was the wrong answer. You KNOW that there is a problem, and having dropped a hint and given him the opportunity to address what you're suggesting, he has squandered it. Unfortunately, now is the time to stop being softly spoken and lenient and to TELL him that there is a problem, not ask him.
I'm not suggesting that you turn it into a blazing row, or to sit him down and reel off a humiliating lost of his faults, because that will be met with resistance and could sour your friendship forever. If he won't take the hint, though, you will have to spell it out to him.

Tell him - in private, away from the game - that you are concerned with his conduct, and that you feel personally targeted by his disruptive attitude. Point out that he only does it in your games and has been 'nice' with other GMs, and that it is upsetting you to think that he is intentionally taking advantage of your good nature. Give him examples of things that he has said - calling your stories lame, stating that he wants to intentionally derail your game (I'm assuming that's a real quote) - and tell him that they are rude, hurtful, and have made you consider walking away from GMing because of it.

Don't make that into a threat - "change or I walk" - but just as an example of how unhappy it has made you.

Then it's up to him. He might say "I meant it as a joke and didn't realise that it was having an impact on you, I am sorry and resolve to change". He might instead say "I don't care, it's what I enjoy doing and I'm going to keep doing it because you make it so easy for me".
Hopefully the former instead of the latter, but either way you know where he stands on the issue, and you can then decide what would be an appropriate response, which may well be to cut him from your game or to walk away if necessary. It might be upsetting to do so, but that upset will only be brief; Letting him continue on the same course of action unopposed and getting more upset by it will be ongoing.

Pelle
2018-08-22, 04:49 AM
Personally, I feel like I've talked to my group enough that I'm ready to walk away and tell them to find another player. They don't seem to enjoy the game the same way I do, and every conversation ends with them asserting yes, they are having fun. Likewise, I find the way MP sits back and picks apart things frustrating, but he doesn't see it as a problem.


You should enjoy yourself as well. It's not enough to aks the player(s) if they are having fun. It's great if they do, but you should also let them know what you like. It's ok that MP don't see the problem, but you should inform them that you see it as such. They are not wrong, it's just that you don't enjoy it, which is an important distinction to make if they are going to accept it.

Give them a chance to adjust to what you can enjoy as well. If they can't do that, they don't respect you, but at least give them the chance try by letting them know what you feel.

And if this player won't change, and you still want to play together, just reduce your ambitions to the absolutly minimum. Don't prepare anything at all, let them go wherever and just roll random encounters or improvise. Maybe you all can enjoy that ok enough together, and even though it isn't what you would like it to be, you won't get disappointed either.

Pleh
2018-08-22, 05:33 AM
It seems clear that you are having fun, but the disrespect is spoiling it over time.

I would tell the group up front, explain that I'm tired of my games being subverted, and inform them I was taking a leave from DMing until there was a way to move forward while leaving the crap behind.

No vindictiveness about the past. Nothing to be gained punishing them now for what I allowed earlier, but making it clear I'm not interested in subjecting myself to that treatment in future games.

And, if they protest the notion that it's their fault, citing my game ideas as lame or boring, I'd suggest they run a "good" game for the group, then. I'll play as a PC and take notes from their genius so my games are less lame.

Point of order, has MP ever DMd? You mention that he plays nice when the other players DM occasionally, but if his system mastery is so high and he knows how to tone it down (plus he finds your ideas boring), he seems a great candidate to DM. If he's got that much experience and creativity, but isn't willing to ever DM, it's pretty selfish to also be so critical of your style and content.

EldritchWeaver
2018-08-22, 05:41 AM
Personally I would have kicked such a person likely long ago. There was a friend playing in the games and got bored with his characters quickly and did stupid stuff like putting pepper into a horse ass, so the horse would be motivated to fight some giants. In the end, it broke the campaign where one player had a specific background involved with the plot. All that work for nothing. And that was the end of that group as well.

But MP is even different from my friend. My friend would have behaved like this in every campaign, regardless of the GM. The fact that he does this specifically only to you, even boasting about it raises 10 red flags at once. Tell him that you have enough of his behavior. If he doesn't want to change and if you truly want to keep him around, you have to veto his characters. Do they fit your requirements? If not, he doesn't get to play. Does his character seemingly work with your rules, but then ingame behaves like before? Kill the character off. But tell him about this in advance. If he complains then remind him about the rules.

Incorrect
2018-08-22, 05:45 AM
Maybe direct him to this thread? Perhaps he does not realize how disruptive he actually is, and how much it is bothering you. I feel like you have explained it quite well here. In this thread he would also see that others would have thrown him out long ago. I would have thrown my best friend out after game 2 if he acted like this.

He is a classic troll, he thinks its funny to ruin your game. I can not imagine anything he can do or say that could allow him back in your games. You can probably still be friends without any problems, I dont think he takes this very seriously.

When you meet people like this in your life, be kind to them, but remove the problem. You will enjoy the games more.

Minty
2018-08-22, 06:05 AM
How can you be "Not sure if Best Player Ever..."? This guy is so bad, he wouldn't last one session in my group.

Kyrell1978
2018-08-22, 06:42 AM
Sit down and have a chat with him to explain to him that this game is a group game and a social experience as well as a game. Explain that he is disrupting everyone else's fun and if that doesn't work, tell him that he isn't invited to that game. There is no reason that you can't be friends or even run a solo campaign for him. This video is definitely worth a watch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aP5tMViTHfY

Lorsa
2018-08-22, 08:40 AM
The first thing you need to realize, which may be very difficulty depending on your history, is that you are not a friend of this guy. He may be a friend to you, but you are not a friend of his.

He may hang out with you for other reasons, such as being able to abuse the fact that you consider him a friend. You might bring him enjoyment, but you are not his friend.

If this part is accurate, then that really says it all:


Also, I have talked to him about this up front. I've said I find his characters difficult to work with, and he basically said "that's how I like to play, deal with it."

You don't tell a friend who says they have an issue "that's how I like to play, deal with it". People that behave this way are not worthy of your time, D&D time or otherwise. Only deal with them if you are forced to, but don't do it voluntarily.

This guy is not the best player ever by any measure. He is on the bad end of the spectrum. The only sensible thing for you to do is to say "I'm sorry, but you are not welcome to my games any more".

From your descriptions, it seems as though this guy gets a massive kick out of appearing like a really crappy character, while in fact being the most powerful one. He puts himself in the disguise of a character that others would overlook, while doing his very best to find the absolute most powerful mechanical strengths he can. There is nothing wrong with that intrinsically, but if it doesn't fit the theme of the campaign, or the rest of the group, it would be.

So, really, realize that this guy have zero respect for you, unfriend him and kick him from your game. He doesn't have fun with you, he has fun at your expense.

Kyrell1978
2018-08-22, 10:42 AM
The first thing you need to realize, which may be very difficulty depending on your history, is that you are not a friend of this guy. He may be a friend to you, but you are not a friend of his.

He may hang out with you for other reasons, such as being able to abuse the fact that you consider him a friend. You might bring him enjoyment, but you are not his friend.

If this part is accurate, then that really says it all:



You don't tell a friend who says they have an issue "that's how I like to play, deal with it". People that behave this way are not worthy of your time, D&D time or otherwise. Only deal with them if you are forced to, but don't do it voluntarily.

This guy is not the best player ever by any measure. He is on the bad end of the spectrum. The only sensible thing for you to do is to say "I'm sorry, but you are not welcome to my games any more".

From your descriptions, it seems as though this guy gets a massive kick out of appearing like a really crappy character, while in fact being the most powerful one. He puts himself in the disguise of a character that others would overlook, while doing his very best to find the absolute most powerful mechanical strengths he can. There is nothing wrong with that intrinsically, but if it doesn't fit the theme of the campaign, or the rest of the group, it would be.

So, really, realize that this guy have zero respect for you, unfriend him and kick him from your game. He doesn't have fun with you, he has fun at your expense.
This is pretty much dead on if I read the op correctly.

Keltest
2018-08-22, 10:58 AM
This is pretty much dead on if I read the op correctly.

Thirding this. Take his advice, and deal with it by not inviting him to play anymore. If you genuinely enjoy his company otherwise, offer him an ultimatum to change or leave, but either way that behavior cannot continue at your table.

ComaVision
2018-08-22, 11:16 AM
It sounds to me like OP is the punching bag of the group and the problem player is just the worst of them.

Arbane
2018-08-22, 11:26 AM
People have already said "Talk to him, if he won't shape up, punt him." Which is probably the best advice. Two other things:

1: Ask him to help other people optimize their characters. No reason he gets to be the only one in the top tiers.
2: Play Over the Edge. When the other members of the party are a stoner alien, a psychic cat mind-controlling a Bond villain, the reincarnation of Elvis, and a bald yeti insurance salesman, he's gonna have to WORK to make a Mary Mary Quite Contrary character. :smallbiggrin:

Jay R
2018-08-22, 11:26 AM
Step one is to acknowledge the truth. Either he will not be at your next game, or he will be there to derail it. There is no solution until you accept that fact.

You are trying to build a sand castle with somebody who's only there to kick over the sand castle. Either recognize that what you are doing is building games for him to destroy, or stop inviting him over to destroy the game. It's that simple. He has told you that his goal is to make you mad.


It's my personal motto of "Talk to players, punish PCs".

Get rid of this motto. It sounds friendly, but it's also leading you astray. Don't punish PCs. Fix problems.

Punishing the PC made the PC's action a legitimate part of the game. That's a correct fix if the player wants the PC for the purposes of a continuing game. But it doesn't fix the problem of a player who wants to derail the game. If the player cares more about derailing the game than about his PC, then the "punishment" was really a reward. It rewards the derailing, admits that he won, ends that game with him as the winner, and offers him a new game to derail.


If you are not willing to build a game for him to derail, then end the current game and don't invite him to the next one. Note that this does not mean telling him he's kicked out. Just invite the people who want to play the game you want to run to play it.

If he finds out about it and asks you, say some version of, "Well, that game isn't your kind of game. It will only work if nobody's trying to derail it." If he pushes further, say, "You told me, 'that's how I like to play, deal with it.' So I'm dealing with it." And then don't back down.

Because one of two things will happen. Either he will not be at your next game, or he will be there to derail it.

There are no other options.

Arbane
2018-08-22, 01:22 PM
If he finds out about it and asks you, say some version of, "Well, that game isn't your kind of game. It will only work if nobody's trying to derail it." If he pushes further, say, "You told me, 'that's how I like to play, deal with it.' So I'm dealing with it." And then don't back down.


Probably the best approach.

Jay R
2018-08-22, 02:00 PM
Thirding this. Take his advice, and deal with it by not inviting him to play anymore. If you genuinely enjoy his company otherwise, offer him an ultimatum to change or leave, but either way that behavior cannot continue at your table.

One slight modification. If you genuinely enjoy his company otherwise, then keep company with him otherwise. Share other activities with him; just not the one he is actively trying to mess up.

Yuki Akuma
2018-08-22, 02:52 PM
We only have a finite amount of free time. Every hour spent on an activity you don't enjoy and brings you no benefit is a wasted hour you'll never get back.

So why are you wasting hundreds of them on an admitted, intentionally abusive *******?!

No gaming is better than bad gaming, man. Life's too short for this nonsense.

Calthropstu
2018-08-22, 04:20 PM
...

It actually sounds like to me that it isn't him who is the problem. Please correct me if I am wrong but:

You set up an adventure in a pyramid. Your other players decide "screw that, let's go kill monsters way aboce our pay grade!" Your "problem player," who optimized to the max, knew this was dumb. Tries to talk them out of doing dumb things. Decides to try and save the party by unleashing all the cheese at his disposal. And it seems this is typical.

Your group is doing dumb things. He knows your group will do dumb things. Thus, he plans accordingly and assumes he will need to save their asses because he knows you have no problem with wiping the party when they do dumb things. So he adds extra cheese to his pc pizza.

When you aren't dming you're a pc. He has another pc he can rely on who can talk the other pcs out of doing dumb things.

SirBellias
2018-08-22, 04:28 PM
I had one of those players in high school.

It was terrible. If the rest aren't like that, just stop inviting him after telling him why. If the rest of them still want to play, try running the game you want to play, while keeping in mind that the rest of the players still have the "player vs. DM" attitude. Better yet, talk to them, and explain that that really isn't the kind of game you had in mind. Tell them it's not worth your time to build a campaign for people who are actively trying to subvert the plot and ruin your plans, and you won't if that's all they want to do. If they try to talk you down for overreacting, then there's no helping them.

That's my approach, anyways. Then you release the hounds.

icefractal
2018-08-22, 05:42 PM
MP is part of the problem, but not all of it.
"The campaign ended with most PCs dying after constantly trying to fight their prison wardens, and some escaping the pits to freedom, but literally all they did was fight gladiator battles every week"
"We had a TPK when the party decided to planeshift into the Water Plane without any form of underwater breathing (I even butted in and stopped them, and asked for Knowledge the planes checks, which they all passed and I explained the properties to the water plane)."
"The rest of the group plugged along, but were so disorganized, even level appropriate encounters were overpowering them."
">Rest of party tries dumb things because none of them are very genre savvy, get themselves into trouble and complain"

These aren't MP, the rest of the party is either intentionally or unintentionally acting highly incompetent, and that's crashing campaigns. Why? Some possibilities:
* They turn their brains off during RPGs and can't handle anything more complicated than "fight that Orc"
* There's a communication problem between you and them, so they have a totally different mental picture of what makes sense.
* They don't want a serious campaign, they just want to goof around.

MP might be exascerbating this, or he might just be a symptom of it. I think some of your frustration is that he probably /could/ help get the party organized if he wanted to, and instead just laughs at the situation. But TBF, trying to be the voice of reason can get old.

That said, MP /is/ being a jerk in at least some of those examples, and I don't think you should keep accepting it. But you need a talk with the rest of the group as well.

Keltest
2018-08-22, 08:38 PM
One slight modification. If you genuinely enjoy his company otherwise, then keep company with him otherwise. Share other activities with him; just not the one he is actively trying to mess up.

I like to believe that nobody is so much of a dingus that they'll deliberately, legitimately antagonize their friends. An ultimatum like that is a good litmus test for how much he values your company. If he tries to change, he actually does consider you his friend. If he backs off, you may not be in full friend territory, but you can at least be elevator pals. If he stays and keeps trolling, then you know to abandon ship.

CheeseM0nkey
2018-08-22, 10:25 PM
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful replies! This has really helped me reflect on our group.

I showed this to my players and they felt I misrepresented them. So in response to my group: Yes, I am picking the worst case scenarios here, and yes, I'm telling it in a way that conveys why I'm frustrated. This isn't everything our group does. However, at our worst (which is becoming more frequent) what I described is how we act. I didn't share any stories to shame anyone in particular, but rather, to see what other, experienced gamers who aren't biased think and learn from their opinions.


...

It actually sounds like to me that it isn't him who is the problem. Please correct me if I am wrong but:

You set up an adventure in a pyramid. Your other players decide "screw that, let's go kill monsters way aboce our pay grade!" Your "problem player," who optimized to the max, knew this was dumb. Tries to talk them out of doing dumb things. Decides to try and save the party by unleashing all the cheese at his disposal. And it seems this is typical.

Your group is doing dumb things. He knows your group will do dumb things. Thus, he plans accordingly

This is correct. One of the great things MP does is keep the rest of the group behaving at least slightly like a group. As many people have recognized, yes, he's a difficult PC, but he also often pushes other PCs to be less difficult. He goes out of his way to corral the party into order (often against their own will). Quite frankly, the idea of continuing the group with everyone else except him never occurred to me.

Rereading everyone's advice (and my own post) after sleeping on it, I vented more than I intended to. I think if MP was playing in a group with other characters like him, I could change the campaign, as some of you have suggested, to a truly bonkers, high power level madness where NPCs have seen all that before. However, with our current group, nobody else wants something like that. It would be too complicated for them. Again, as some of you have pointed out, our group (aside from MP) turns off their brain at our table. MP does an amazing job inventing creative characters, getting into those characters, and staying in character.

Some people have asked "How could you possibly consider him a best PC?" Well, because he's hilarious, resourceful, and creative. One day, we dared his bard to speak only in rhymes the entire session, and he did it. If I was building an adventure just for him, I could create devious traps, puzzles, and twists, knowing he'd find a way around it all. I, as a personal preference, don't like building adventures this way, but some DMs (for example, him) do. He loves puzzles, he guesses plot twists, and when combat gets hard, he gets super intensely into it. But he doesn't care if his character dies, he cares if he, himself, loses. More importantly, it gets in the way of everyone else, who often can't complete and plays very simply.

The problem I think then is twofold: Our group has players who come to the table for very different reasons and don't match up well with each other. Second is I have, over time, enabled various behaviors by trying too hard to be nice and open-ended. And yes, I let myself become a punching bag at times. More importantly, I don't stand up for it in the right ways.

I love the idea of getting MP to help the rest of the group optimize. He does help one of the others quite a bit already. However, I don't see it working because in general, optimized characters are harder to play and their decision making is so fundamentally bad.

As to me being signaled out: I think he feels bad for our other DMs, because our group is generally hard on our DMs, and we've had a few people less experienced try running a session. Him and I are very competitive and I think he sees that as a personal challenge, as well as an opportunity to play a more aggressive character (everyone else at the session is younger than us, which contributes to that a lot).

We've been friends for something like ten years. He's always been a bit of a troll and I've always gone along with it. Most of our group is more troll than not and my sensitivity makes them uncomfortable sometimes. I think the issue at the table specifically is more recently, like Fox said, he's bored. While I still find the fundamental DNDisms fun for their own sake, he really doesn't. The dickish, stubborn behavior, while rude, isn't out of line for the other stuff his social groups do. It does upset me at the gaming table because it goes against the way I like to run games.


It seems clear that you are having fun, but the disrespect is spoiling it over time.


Yeah, well said. And to your other point, he's a good DM, in my opinion, except for his Player vs DM mentality. He's caused almost as many player deaths as I have in less time. He improvs NPCs very well, and doesn't try and build a world that is rigged/expecting the players to succeed like I do. The result, however, is very short lived campaigns ending in TPKs, murderhobos, or PvP with the rest of the group.

So once again, thanks for all the feedback. Saying/writing it out makes me realize this is a lot more dysfunctional than I thought.

I think I'm going to tell the group that we're going to experiment next session with a much more insane, light-hearted and less frequent gaming session. I'm going to expect less of them, and put significantly less work into preparing. We'll probably just drift away from DND and end up doing other things, or maybe everyone will find that more fun. The hard truth for me to admit is this group of friends thinks they like playing DND, when really, they like being Family Guy level silly. MP needs other ways to amuse himself. They don't want the DND I'm trying to create.

Second, I'm going to start up another group and, if it works out, tell my current crew the game will be held with other people playing a more immersion heavy, more polite style of game, and they're welcome to try that style, but it's different from how they normally play.

Arbane
2018-08-22, 11:24 PM
Sounds like that went about as well as it could. Good luck!

Koo Rehtorb
2018-08-23, 12:45 AM
Have you considered trying to play a different system with the group?

The Jack
2018-08-23, 07:48 AM
The Force lightning/Lightning bolt stick is way out.


I mean, I don't agree that force lightning needs to be darkside, but I treat my magic as if it's something that requires study, practice and often beliefs (depending on the setting) A hermetic thaumaturge needs to be well versed in hermetic understanding and apply its principles in order to get magic effects. If someone told me their character was just meta with the spell lists and so don't need a functioning paradigm, I'd just rule that they can't use magic. Jedi certainly don't think of themselves as expending a fifth level spell slot.

Jay R
2018-08-23, 09:22 AM
The hard truth for me to admit is this group of friends thinks they like playing DND, when really, they like being Family Guy level silly. MP needs other ways to amuse himself. They don't want the DND I'm trying to create.

I strongly urge you to get a copy of TOON. This sounds like the perfect group to play a game of cartoon characters in which inappropriate nonsense is appropriate, making the animator helpless with laughter earns you points, and a loss of all hit points makes you Fall Down with X's in your eyes, and you walk back onscreen perfectly well three minutes later.

Reversefigure4
2018-08-23, 06:44 PM
I strongly urge you to get a copy of TOON. This sounds like the perfect group to play a game of cartoon characters in which inappropriate nonsense is appropriate, making the animator helpless with laughter earns you points, and a loss of all hit points makes you Fall Down with X's in your eyes, and you walk back onscreen perfectly well three minutes later.

Yep, something in this neighbourhood seems far more ideal than DnD. DnD requires a lot of prep, lends itself to optimisation, and is a somewhat serious game.

Changing to something that's low prep, goofy, and doesn't matter if it breaks seems easier.

Incorrect
2018-08-24, 06:42 AM
Im really glad it ended with a good discussion and some reflection. Hopefully just the fact that you talked about it, makes the group consider their (meta)actions more.
I think you brought it up yourself, Cheese, but using another system is a great way of relieving boredom. And other systems might be less dependent on each players individual optimization skill.

Hooligan
2018-08-28, 09:49 AM
#3
Setting: Star Wars, hypothetical story connecting Return of the Jedi to The Force Awakens

MP: He named his character "Hennet the Sorcerer" and believes the entire world is a mirage arcana, and he's actually a wizard.

I can't comment on whether he is a great player or a ****heel but this part is hilarious. High comedy.

16bearswutIdo
2018-09-04, 02:40 PM
TBH, MP sounds alpha as ****. The lad plays D&D with his friend of 10 years, coming up with interesting and hilarious characters that help keep his newbie beer n' pretzels PC team on point. It's like a veteran soldier tasked with teaching a group of fresh faced recruits.

vasilidor
2018-09-10, 04:02 AM
If he is being deliberate in his derailings and ruining fun for others, worst player. if everyone is enjoying the shenanigans, best player.

Kaptin Keen
2018-09-10, 03:35 PM
What I posted here was for another thread. Forget I was ever here.