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View Full Version : Optimization DM has turned me into Dire Yogi Bear with character levels. Help make him regret it.



Cyntalan
2018-08-28, 11:17 AM
A friend of mine suggested it may be a good idea to bring this here.

So, in the campaign I've participated in, it's contained a bit of inside jokes revolving around me, a Mystic/Druid. At the time of this story's culmination, I became 7 CotM Druid/3 Immortal Mystic, in which my character has spent her entire life trying to find her inner bear. The entire purpose has been to make myself the best bear I could be.

And it's been glorious. Mystic has been fun complimenting the drawbacks of being a bear for the most part (Brute Force, Giant Growth and Bestial Form being fun as all hell), and while it's sad that I can't play around with my druid spells nearly as often as I'd like, I'm still running around with a CR 2 bear with 23 AC most of the time from L9 on. I eventually was going to be a flying bear too thanks to Bestial Form.

However, the DM I believe has made a mistake in his enjoyment of my character's silliness. You see, he wrote a sidequest of sorts that allowed me to unlock my True Form. Throughout the quest I gained the ability to once a week turn into a werebear, which was most enjoyable in and of itself. Sadly, the rest of my party felt that, in a day I did not attend, to take down the baddie that was helping me achieve this, and while I knew this was an inevitability due to the main storyline basically insisting we kill it, it was still disheartening to hear they did before I could achieve whatever it was my True Form was to be. I saw other druids getting their Wild Shape basically reversed, where they were naturally the animal and Wild Shaped into human form. I thought that was a neat concept considering I wanted to just always be a bear anyway.

However, the DM took pity on me, and the party found a bottle with my name on it (literally) from the guy. I had thought "YES! I get to do this after all!" and proceeded to quickly chug the bottle.

Now here's where stuff got really amusing to me.

After drinking, I was unsurprisingly taken out of the fight for the night. The same thing happened when I drank what it was to give me werebear. However, rather than just give me the reverse wild shape I was thinking I was getting, upon emerging from my furry cocoon, I was given a choice.

I could either get the reverse wild shape, or I could go for door number 2. Become, as he described it, an Awakened Bear. I would reroll my character, with base stats and abilities based on the 5e Dire Bear as found on dandwiki) (being a sentient, bipedal, talking bear with opposable thumbs), with the added bonus of being able to restructure my stat points as needed. The first 2 points taken out of that enormous 22 STR would count as 2 points in any other non-CON stat.

I was floored. I have just been given what amounts to a L10 respec with about 12 ability points MORE than when I started, and given gnarly natural weapons on top of that. Anything outside of Bard is pretty well in my grasp.

Needless to say, I'm overwhelmed with options. However, I know I must make good use of this, and I figure the only appropriate approach to this is to make him regret this idea.

I'd like to know if anyone has some opinions/insight into how best to make use of this. I do want to keep the sheer incredulity that my character has become, but a couple ideas I've thought about have been:


Fighter/Rogue: the sheer idea of this has amused me to no end. Being a giant ball of sneaky tooth and claw sounds hilarious to me, and I'd probably start outdamaging our rogue out of the box. Would probably shift my Wis to my Dex and otherwise leave it as is.

Bear Totem Barbarian: 'cause of course. The "Me Totem" Barbarian. Gigantic sack of meat and a lot of raged natural weapons. Not very versatile, but I'd probably end up being more of a presence than our Paladin that way.

CotM Druid: 'cause what else is better than being a bear? Being a bear that can be other bears.

CotM Druid/Immortal Mystic: just reroll the same as I was. 'cause flying bear. That becomes other flying bears.

Open Palm Monk: 'cause if all else fails and my bite couldn't grapple 'em, I can still send 'em flying - maybe down the line dip into Rogue for a couple levels and get the extra movement option.

Blade Warlock/Rogue: plays off similar from how I would with Mystic in that I could make use of flight and other buffing, but oh so much more damage via sneaky ball of tooth and claw.

I am open for suggestions, however. Do your worst. :belkar:

EDIT: I have been given the following notices from my DM:

All listed stats/AP/feats/skills listed for Dire Bear are now mine. This includes the 17 natural armor (cannot easily wear armor anyway), and the hit dice replace a given class's hit dice. For the purposes of an unarmored defense class perk, my base AC is 16 instead of 10 (thus giving me a 22 AC out of the box from any class that gives this).
Aside from necklace, all gear must be custom created for my form.
Not exactly opposable thumbs, but I am capable of holding objects and opening doors, so this also means any action that requires a dexterous hand instead of clumsy paw is a-ok ("but using bows and crossbows would be weird").

Man_Over_Game
2018-08-28, 11:41 AM
Zealot Barbarian.

Charge in, murder everything. Your paladin will likely have more AC, have him fight groups, while your rage resistance is good against bosses. Have advantage to saves, give allies advantage to saves. Benefit from your Pally's auras.

The main thing is that your Pally is level 10. At level 9, paladins get the poor man's resurrection: Revivify. Your level 3 feature means Revivify has no 300 gp material cost, so your paladin can just slap you on the back, restoring you to 1 HP from death (almost like a super lay-on-hands).

In one more level, you can resist dying when you are raging and hit 0 hit points (meaning if you have a rage left, your Pal can Revivify you and potentially continue combat at 1 hp). At level 14, you can't die while raging, and at level 15, your rage only ends if you fall unconscious. After that, nothing but a Disintegrate spell, a dragon's sleeping gas, or Power Word Kill can kill you.

Your enemies will focus you down, as you are the immediate threat, dealing less damage due to rage. They finally take you down, only to be stomped by the rest of your team. As long as you aren't dead for over a minute, it only costs your paladin a level 3 spell slot. To be on the safe side, have someone learn Gentle Repose (level 2 spell, as an action preserve a corpse's time for any resurrection for 10 more days, wizards and clerics).

The idea is that he will likely target you first with the big stuff. But since overkill damage doesn't exist in DnD 5e, and you can resist dying at level 11, he'll be burning through a lot of resources only for you to be minorly inconvenienced. Just watch out for Disintegrate.


Just a psychotic, demonic super bear, rising from the grave to hunt for your picnic baskets.

Nidgit
2018-08-28, 01:05 PM
Eh, assuming you keep maxed Con and the Tough traits, Barbarian is going to be obscenely meaty anyway. Bear Totem is probably overkill, and Zealot has nice bonus damage but rarely would need that revive feature. I'd probably go Ancestral Guardian for the ultimate party tank and for fun Brother Bear flavor.

My personal choice, though, would be Horizon Walker Ranger. If you keep multiattack, you get all the fun of TWF without the bonus action economy problems, leaving you free to abuse Hunter's Mark. Plus, at level 11 you get the Horizon Walker's signature ability, making you a teleporting whirlwind of teeth and claws. Again, TELEPORTING BEAR WHIRLWIND. Also, go ethereal to be a spirit bear!

If your DM allows you to be a Bladesinger that could be pretty fun, but another good option could be Tempest Cleric. Attack multiple times, fly (eventually), and still have full spellcasting. Whispers Bard could also be really weird and cool.

ATHATH
2018-08-28, 01:13 PM
Just a psychotic, demonic super bear, rising from the grave to hunt for your picnic baskets.
Like the Terminator, but a bear.

PeteNutButter
2018-08-28, 01:32 PM
Like the Terminator, but a bear.

The Bearminator. My CPU is a neural net processor BEAR, a learning computer BEAR.

I just hope the DM makes the rest of the party as OP, or it'll quickly become annoying to them.

Also watch The Edge with Anthony Hopkins. If you haven't seen it, it'll earn you all the more respect for your bear nature, and teach you to watch out for adventuring parties of Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin.

Finback
2018-08-28, 08:01 PM
Whilst not essential to the function, a level in Rogue would be awesome if it meant a better chance at stealing picnic baskets.

Also, find yourself a bear cub sidekick.

Cyntalan
2019-01-08, 05:23 PM
An Update: So things have gone swimmingly with the Barbearian. Hit L16, wrecked all kinds of unholy hell, and I think my DM has made another mistake now.

You see, he had made it pretty clear that I was likely never gonna get gear. Frankly, I could see the silliness already, and I doubt it would've changed much, even if my gear was going to end up being little more than the necklace that gave me the 19 dex. I accepted that.

Then we were introduced to a crafter's temple. We did a quest there that gave us one piece of gear each based either on a generic pauldrons of +2 to a given stat, or any one piece of equipment that was already among the party. He also allowed people to buy more at fairly exorbitant costs.

It just so happened that I was sitting on a ton of cash. While the DM allowed it he DID charge me more due to the custom size requirements. That was fine. So I began perusing my party members like they were inventory and started to beg for cash from everyone. I knew this was going to be my last chance this campaign to deck myself out and I know that once he gets the results of what I am about to do, I'm never getting another chance.

I walked out of the place with the following:

A Headband of Intellect, setting my Intelligence to 19.
A Rope of Defense, +2 AC "belt"
A Ring of Defense, +1 AC
Shoulder Pads of Constitution, +2 Con
Wings of Flying
A custom-version of Boots of Nimble Running, +10' move speed (no other bonus)
A Ring of Spell Storing
Dragonstrike Wraps, +1d6 fire damage to unarmed strikes

So now I'm floating around with precisely ONE sub-16 stat: Charisma at 11. I'm also now at 29 AC, and have a 60' move speed... and I can fly.

My new question to you all is... what goodies should I store in my ring of spell storing? Thanks to this fairly large party, I do have access to pretty much every magic type aside from Druid. I know it'll be fairly situational, but I figure a standard loadout would be useful. Most easily accessible is Warlock though, and our Warlock went down the fiend path, so things like Flame Strike are at my command as well. So far, I've been thinking of the following:

Flame Strike - a nice AoE for when I inevitably start DM aggroing
Hex x5 - Just fill the thing with Hex and go on the long haul of constantly enfeebling vs grapple checks
Greater Invisibility + Some L1 Spell - 'cause what is better than a 4 ton flying invisible bear...
Haste + Mirror Image - ...except maybe this. :biggrin:

Laserlight
2019-01-08, 05:47 PM
The spell should be Tasha's, and the component should be "look at my character sheet"

Skylivedk
2019-01-08, 06:01 PM
What is better than three dire bears flying through the battlefield with fiery claws?

What about an enlarged flying dire bear? Bear with me, we can bear more bear.

An alternative: mirror image+enlarge+jump.

Just remember the song and the potion before you Super Mario any last remains of your enemies' dignity.

Mercurias
2019-01-09, 07:10 AM
Probably Flaming Strike for a big nuke. “Only you can prevent forest fires.”

Nidgit
2019-01-09, 03:16 PM
Alter Self. You're talking to a suspicious someone in a bar. They look away to buy a drink and turn back to find themselves facing the Raging Flaming Poisoning Bear of Doom.

Blink also seems quite fun. And it's probably going to get nixed by your GM, but could you Find a Greater Steed big enough to ride? I know it's a bit redundant at this point, but the only thing scarier than bear cavalry is when the bear is doing the riding.

As a side note, which Path did you choose?

MilkmanDanimal
2019-01-09, 03:34 PM
Blink also seems quite fun. And it's probably going to get nixed by your GM, but could you Find a Greater Steed big enough to ride? I know it's a bit redundant at this point, but the only thing scarier than bear cavalry is when the bear is doing the riding.

Riding with a saddle, or bareback?

I'll see myself out.

Cyntalan
2019-01-09, 05:20 PM
Alter Self. You're talking to a suspicious someone in a bar. They look away to buy a drink and turn back to find themselves facing the Raging Flaming Poisoning Bear of Doom.

Blink also seems quite fun. And it's probably going to get nixed by your GM, but could you Find a Greater Steed big enough to ride? I know it's a bit redundant at this point, but the only thing scarier than bear cavalry is when the bear is doing the riding.

As a side note, which Path did you choose?

Totem Warrior, all bear.

Ganymede
2019-01-09, 09:17 PM
Your enemies will focus you down, as you are the immediate threat, dealing less damage due to rage. They finally take you down, only to be stomped by the rest of your team.

If the foes are going to get stomped by the rest of the team, the barbarian is NOT the most immediate threat. Let's not trick the OP into thinking his foes will always be so boneheaded.

GreyBlack
2019-01-09, 10:23 PM
So, sort of a side note, but can I just introduce you to one of my characters from a previous campaign who you may be interested in taking as your new deity?

Tl;dr: Pathfinder game, I ran a Ranger/Barbarian specializing in unarmed attacks. My DM frequently became flustered at the number of times that I pulled something ridiculous and wound up 2 shotting his boss monster that, at the end of the game and after killing an Adult Red Dragon in single combat, he just threw up his hands and gave me godhood.

This guy was a half orc who legitimately believed that he was a bear and wound up transforming into a bear, to become the Bear God. His name was Rrgh, and it's a big theological debate whether he was a man in bear form or a bear in man's form.

I think you need to worship him and just be ridiculous in any possible way.