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View Full Version : Gamer Drama I Get The Worst Luck When My Games Died Down



Bartmanhomer
2018-09-04, 08:17 PM
Hey everybody. Every time when I play a game (mostly D&D 3.5) the DM abandoned the game because he have to deal with real life issues. I've been participating 10+ different games this past year and I'm only active with one game that I've been playing since the beginning of last year. Am I cursed or do I play a very bad hand with DMs who are just not committed to play an active long game? :frown:

AMFV
2018-09-04, 08:31 PM
I don't know, did you steal your dice from a mysterious shop with an old patron who wouldn't sell you anything, gave you a cryptic warning and then the shop wasn't there the next day.

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-04, 08:33 PM
I don't know, did you steal your dice from a mysterious shop with an old patron who wouldn't sell you anything, gave you a cryptic warning and then the shop wasn't there the next day.

I could tell your joking. But I'm going to play along with your joke, no I didn't steal my dice from a mysterious shop and such and such. :biggrin:

AMFV
2018-09-04, 08:35 PM
I could tell your joking. But I'm going to play along with your joke, no I didn't steal my dice from a mysterious shop and such and such. :biggrin:

Have you tried bathing in holy water? Have you been having trouble with blood coming up in the pipes? Hearing cryptic messages from beyond the grave?

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-04, 08:37 PM
Have you tried bathing in holy water? Have you been having trouble with blood coming up in the pipes? Hearing cryptic messages from beyond the grave?

No, no and no.

Mr Beer
2018-09-04, 09:58 PM
Online or real life? Because I heard online games are flakier.

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-04, 10:00 PM
Online or real life? Because I heard online games are flakier.

All the games I played are online.

Lunali
2018-09-04, 10:34 PM
All the games I played are online.

People generally play online because they aren't willing/able to invest the amount of time (which, depending on where you live, may be a lot of time) that would be necessary to play in person. Additionally, online play is often between people whose only connection to each other is the game itself. These and other factors make it far more likely for people (DMs included) to drop out of games.

Pex
2018-09-04, 11:24 PM
Hey everybody. Every time when I play a game (mostly D&D 3.5) the DM abandoned the game because he have to deal with real life issues. I've been participating 10+ different games this past year and I'm only active with one game that I've been playing since the beginning of last year. Am I cursed or do I play a very bad hand with DMs who are just not committed to play an active long game? :frown:

You're not alone. I've lost count how many games I've been in when I first started 5E that went kaput. Even my Pathfinder game fell apart after a year of playing, though I'm starting in a new one this week. The ironic thing is that of all the games I've played, not counting the one I quit the game I liked the least is still happening 4 years later. The campaign is more fun than the gripes I have so I stay, but the DM has gotten better. All the other games have not lasted more than a year.

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-05, 10:18 AM
You know what I'm thinking of becoming a DM or GM myself. So I could run my own game.

Recherché
2018-09-05, 10:37 AM
I've found that GMs who come to the table with a strong idea of their own about what game they want to run and how tend to stick around longer than people who have been recruited to run other people's ideas. Beyond that, you have to find the right group of non-flakey people and get to know them. The more you're friends with them outside the game the more both of you have invested and the less likely anyone is to flake.

Resileaf
2018-09-05, 10:40 AM
I think it's sadly all too common, as real-life events such as economic downturn can severely affect a person's ability to use their free time to play games.

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-05, 11:03 AM
I've found that GMs who come to the table with a strong idea of their own about what game they want to run and how tend to stick around longer than people who have been recruited to run other people's ideas. Beyond that, you have to find the right group of non-flakey people and get to know them. The more you're friends with them outside the game the more both of you have invested and the less likely anyone is to flake.
I have to be very lucky to find those type of rare breeds.

Kaptin Keen
2018-09-05, 02:20 PM
I never abandon my games. That's not to say they all succeed, players are allowed to quit after all. But I don't. I'm pretty sure I know at least one other GM who also sticks to his games, since I play in two.

So ... the games are out there.

Oh, uh ... just because I stick with my games doesn't mean I'm a great GM. Obviously. Just a stubborn old goat =)

Darth Ultron
2018-09-05, 08:25 PM
It is not just you: this is common for most gamers. Both players and DMs, and is just way too common online.

Most people will be all excited to play and post a lot before the game....make a post or two once the game starts, and then vanish.

Sure, ''real life'' happens....but it's a bit odd people can't find like a couple minutes a day.

All you can do is keep looking.

Bartmanhomer
2018-09-05, 08:47 PM
It is not just you: this is common for most gamers. Both players and DMs, and is just way too common online.

Most people will be all excited to play and post a lot before the game....make a post or two once the game starts, and then vanish.

Sure, ''real life'' happens....but it's a bit odd people can't find like a couple minutes a day.

All you can do is keep looking.
That's the only thing I can do. Just keep looking and hope the game won't be a total dud.

Ronnocius
2018-09-12, 09:14 PM
Speaking as an online DM of Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition. While DMing your own game might sounds like a great idea unfortunately players are just as likely to flake out or leave. Since the game is online (presumably with mostly strangers) there aren't many consequences to just disappearing if you get bored with the game.

In my last game I ran, it went from October (first session played might have been early November) and ended July of this year. Slightly over half a year. During this time, beginning around March there were frequent player changes.


1 player left a few hours before session zero, no explanation
1 player dropped out shortly after the game began to DM own game
1 player had to leave for real life reasons (move)
1 player missed sessions and was not online for months, but didn't actually leave game (we kicked him eventually but sent him a PM inviting him back if he wished)
1 player had to leave after accepting a job
1 player was not online to months (similar situation to previous guy)
1 player left to DM own game after playing for 2 sessions
1 player left to join another game



Obviously some of these are perfectly legitimate reasons but at the same time after a while it does begin to annoy you.

At the end, I was left with only one single player from the original six, and two new players (one had been playing for a month or two and another hadn't played a single session). I ended up creating a new group and inviting the left over players. Instead of recruiting people online the players invited some of their friends and I dragooned a couple of friends into joining as well. We have a rather large group but many players are extremely unreliable.

I made this post to share my experiences and to say that I am frustrated with this issue as well. The side of the DM screen did not change much in my case.

A word of advice: If you do decide to DM a game, avoid the 'DM who just wants to play' types. In my experience it seemed that the DM's curse could never truly be dormant, and once the players got a taste of your campaign they were struck with inspiration for a campaign of their own and thus you are now missing a player.

ComaVision
2018-09-14, 12:04 PM
I've been DMing on Roll20 for around 19 months now. It's an open-world game where everyone has to finish the session back in town. The reason for that is that I have a ton of players and may have a different group every time (there's a core group with very high attendance though). Each session is typically 3 - 6 players. I don't typically like having more than 6 players at a time unless they're tackling a particularly dangerous foe. I think I have around 13 players total (at least 5 haven't played any time recently). The more active players shape the story more but it doesn't shut down the game when someone can't make it. I've also run solo sessions on occasion when a player is interested.

I probably wouldn't run an "open table" game in person but it works pretty good for the online platform, particularly since I have several players that have moved out of town and still want to play in my games. I don't plan the days/times for the games either, I let the players figure out what they want to do in game and when they want to do it. Scheduling is my least favourite part of DMing so it works pretty well for me.


A word of advice: If you do decide to DM a game, avoid the 'DM who just wants to play' types. In my experience it seemed that the DM's curse could never truly be dormant, and once the players got a taste of your campaign they were struck with inspiration for a campaign of their own and thus you are now missing a player.

How dare you!? Us Perma-DMs just want to play once in a while, man. We don't need you going around making that even harder. (For what it's worth, I've never bailed on a game.)

Ronnocius
2018-09-14, 06:18 PM
How dare you!? Us Perma-DMs just want to play once in a while, man. We don't need you going around making that even harder. (For what it's worth, I've never bailed on a game.)

I'm sure the majority are in the same boat, however it seems there is a significant number who bail rather quickly.

Jay R
2018-09-14, 06:45 PM
I know it's not always possible, but it's still the best advice I can give you:

Don't find role-playing strangers and try to turn them into friends who will enjoy spending time with you over months and years. Instead, try to convince your friends who like to spend time with you over months and years to play role-playing games.

zlefin
2018-09-15, 07:51 PM
Hey everybody. Every time when I play a game (mostly D&D 3.5) the DM abandoned the game because he have to deal with real life issues. I've been participating 10+ different games this past year and I'm only active with one game that I've been playing since the beginning of last year. Am I cursed or do I play a very bad hand with DMs who are just not committed to play an active long game? :frown:

it's notoriously hard to get online games to stick (between strangers).
Most sites don't have, or even allow, the kind of vetting necessary to ensure that whoever you play with will be reliable. (and the majority of people aren't that reliable anyways).

Pex
2018-09-15, 10:41 PM
It's been three weeks since Session 0 of my supposed new Pathfinder group. We still haven't played. People can't make up their mind when to play. In theory I'll be playing in a new 5E game Thursday. It was originally going to be on Tuesdays but more people said Thursday was better, so the DM agreed to move to Thursday. Then suddenly Thursday became no good for some people and they dropped out. Fortunately we have enough people left who claim to be able to play to play so we'll see. Still, I hate it when people sign up saying they're ready to play all of sudden say they can't play once a game date has been decided upon.

This is not the first time this has happened. It's why I stopped trying to get my own game started years ago. I am sick and tired of the lack of commitment. I get it. Real life happens, but if you can't commit in the first place DON'T SAY YOU'RE PLAYING when we're setting up the game. Don't even be in the conversation. Stay away.

redwizard007
2018-09-16, 03:58 PM
I'm relatively new to playing online, but in one campaign I play in, the DM has gone to episodic adventures that can generally be wrapped up in 4-5 hours. That helps mitigate some of the problems caused by attendance issues. He takes pains to link most adventures onto the overarching campaign.

In another, the DM just runs with it when a PC gets the disappearing sickness.

In neither case do we let flakes drag the campaign to a halt.

Psikerlord
2018-09-16, 06:16 PM
You know what I'm thinking of becoming a DM or GM myself. So I could run my own game.

I always suggest this when I see a post about GMs ending games early, or can't find a game. GM one yourself! Just choose a system you like.

Psikerlord
2018-09-16, 06:18 PM
I'm relatively new to playing online, but in one campaign I play in, the DM has gone to episodic adventures that can generally be wrapped up in 4-5 hours. That helps mitigate some of the problems caused by attendance issues. He takes pains to link most adventures onto the overarching campaign.

In another, the DM just runs with it when a PC gets the disappearing sickness.

In neither case do we let flakes drag the campaign to a halt.

Sandbox style episodic games, and I think what is called the West Marches style of play, is perfect for online I suspect. I have no doubt most 1-20 adventure path style online games crumble looong before the end.

zlefin
2018-09-17, 06:00 PM
I always suggest this when I see a post about GMs ending games early, or can't find a game. GM one yourself! Just choose a system you like.

Yeah, but it'd be nice to get to play a game to completion without having to run it yourself just to get it to finish.

mgshamster
2018-09-17, 10:13 PM
For online games, this is the exact reason that I aim for modules only. No longer campaigns.

Each module I run is designed to last 4-12 weeks, which is the perfect time frame where people start getting bored and start wanting to drop out. The game is typically wrapped up by that time, and we close it out and I advertise a new game with new people. Sometimes a few of the same people join in on the new game.

I've run and played in a lot of successful games in this manner.