The OOTS in the real world; a thought experiment.

[MultitudeMan]

I don't know if this has been done before, but I was wondering how the Order would cope with our world. I've seen lots of threads on "Level 20 wizard/fighter/barbarian in real world" already, but they often assume optimization prior to visit, or the ability to respec.

The scenario: while Thor is talking to Durkon and Minrah, a portal opens in the room where Durkula died, transporting Roy, Haley, Elan, Belkar, and V to our world (the portal can be created by Hel, or the Snarl, or the MitD, depending on your preference). They arrive somewhere relatively isolated in the U.S. Midwest (so are not all murdered for their clothes as they lie unconscious, nor do they starve before finding civilization) and all stabilise and return to positive HP; alternatively, Hilgya casts a mass Cure spell before the portal takes them. They have taken 3-dimensional forms analogous to their stick drawings, and can all speak English. Upon refreshing spells, V discovers that not even Vaarsuvius' Enhanced Scrying can locate the OOTSverse, so there's no way for them to get back.

What do they do?

My take is that, fairly soon, the party splits, permanently. There are too many personality conflicts, which have been held in check by the threat of world destruction, but with no way to affect the fate of the OOTSverse, that incentive to work together has faded. The gang goes their separate ways, to make new lives for themselves.

Elan and Haley stick together, and both thrive in their new circumstances. With Charisma of at least 22, Elan could be a model ("Wow, he's made belts so fashionable these days!"), or a country-and-western singer ("FREEDOM!), though he may not be able to fence to Olympic standard, as the fencing masks would inhibit his puns. Haley clearly excels at archery, but I suspect a combination of Open Lock, Disable Device, Hide, Move Silently, and Bluff can make quite a lot of money somehow, though she'll need to learn about DNA and security cameras fairly quickly. Oh, and if she's feeling kind, she can use Forgery to help the Order get around having no paperwork.

Roy's skills may be less obviously marketable, but he has Improved Unarmed Strike, good BAB, and a metric ton of HP, so professional boxing or MMA seem worthwhile. If he goes into weightlifting, he can even wear his Belt of Giant Strength without arousing suspicion ("Man, EVERYONE'S wearing belts these days!). He'd miss Celia, but an intelligent professional athlete with Charisma of at least 12 would manage to find someone.

Belkar, well, it depends on whether his character development has been genuine and taken hold, or not. If he reverts to his murder-hobo ways, then he eventually finds out that SWAT team beats Barbarian rage. If he sees the possibility of a new direction, then chef, maybe even celebrity chef, is within his reach; Gordon Ramsay has a filthy temper, and it's worked for him.

Then we have V. It goes without saying that a level 16 wizard could almost certainly take over the world, even without Conjuration or Necromancy spells. The question is, would the post-soul-splice V want to? For me, this is the wild card.

If all else fails, they'd put on one heck of a circus :smallbiggrin: .

Do a scenario for Hilgya coming along too if you like, but I didn't want to get into the whole "does-Loki-exist-in-our-world?" thing.

[Lacuna Caster]

My take is that, fairly soon, the party splits, permanently. There are too many personality conflicts, which have been held in check by the threat of world destruction, but with no way to affect the fate of the OOTSverse, that incentive to work together has faded. The gang goes their separate ways, to make new lives for themselves.
If we were talking about the Order from circa strip #150, I would agree with this. It's far from obvious it would apply to the Order today- I could see them pursuing different careers, but I don't see them splitting up in immediate acrimony.


Then we have V. It goes without saying that a level 16 wizard could almost certainly take over the world, even without Conjuration or Necromancy spells. The question is, would the post-soul-splice V want to? For me, this is the wild card.
A lot of this depends on just how much of a 'rules conversion' the Order have to undergo in order to fit within the real world, which operates under very different laws from D&D. Does V have to be 100% thermodynamics-compliant now? Does his magic even work? Is Roy now subject to the usual rules for human anatomy and how it reacts to sharp stabby things?

Even if he keeps his magic, V would have to display some restraint and subtlety if he doesn't want to get hit with nerve toxins or a nuke to the face. Modern-day national militaries do have comparable levels of firepower and some fairly sophisticated surveillance systems and sensor technologies to work around invisibility and the like. I'd say he'd be better off using suggestion/dominate spells, plus his assorted divinations, to rise to power politically.

[MultitudeMan]

If we were talking about the Order from circa strip #150, I would agree with this. It's far from obvious it would apply to Order today, who have been getting along more-or-less harmoniously for quite a while and appear to be functionally friendly with eachother. I could see them pursuing different careers, but I won't see them splitting up in immediate acrimony. (Whether a group that had the original Order's personality composition would be remotely likely to turn out that way is another question, but that's, well, another question.)

I wasn't imagining a violent row breaking out, just that they drift apart, except for the lovers. Roy still finds Elan pretty annoying, Belkar remains relatively unpopular with the rest of the group, V is fairly distant and cold. They might exchange E-mails occasionally, but I doubt they'd deliberately live in the same city, for instance.



A lot of this depends on just how much of a 'rules conversion' the Order have to undergo in order to fit within the real world, which operates under very different laws from D&D. Does V have to be 100% thermodynamics-compliant now? Does his magic even work? Is Roy now subject to the usual rules for human anatomy and how it reacts to sharp stabby things?

Even if he keeps his magic, V would have to display some restraint and subtlety if he doesn't want to get hit with nerve toxins or a nuke to the face. Modern-day national militaries do have comparable levels of firepower and some fairly sophisticated surveillance systems and sensor technologies to work around invisibility and the like. I'd say he'd be better off using suggestion/dominate spells, plus his assorted divinations, to rise to power politically.

Yes, I didn't address the functional nature of D&D magic in our universe, and that's a whole other series of threads in itself that I'm not sure I want to start. Maybe it's best to assume that V's magic just works, with as analogous a function as possible, but without any known underlying theory, so no further magical research is possible. I was also assuming that a fireball-and-lightning wizard would get smacked down eventually, but that Charm Monster, Crushing Despair, Dominate Person, and both Suggestion and Mass Suggestion would go a long way. How would you see the divinations contributing?

Roy's conversion would be fine, I think; maybe on the order of David Dunn (Bruce Willis) in Unbreakable, but a bit less damage resistant.

[Lacuna Caster]

I wasn't imagining a violent row breaking out, just that they drift apart, except for the lovers. Roy still finds Elan pretty annoying, Belkar remains relatively unpopular with the rest of the group, V is fairly distant and cold. They might exchange E-mails occasionally, but I doubt they'd deliberately live in the same city, for instance.

Yes, I didn't address the functional nature of D&D magic in our universe, and that's a whole other series of threads in itself that I'm not sure I want to start. Maybe it's best to assume that V's magic just works, with as analogous a function as possible, but without any known underlying theory, so no further magical research is possible. I was also assuming that a fireball-and-lightning wizard would get smacked down eventually, but that Charm Monster, Crushing Despair, Dominate Person, and both Suggestion and Mass Suggestion would go a long way. How would you see the divinations contributing?
Anything that lets you spy on political, economic or military rivals with minimal risk of detection would presumably be valuable to an aspiring puppet-master. You could just go to Vegas and peek at the other players' hands, or find out people's credit-card details and passwords without having to ever meet them, or obtain blackmail material and classified documents. You could make a fortune just from corporate espionage. It's endless, really.

I don't have trouble imagining the present-day Order living in the same city and meeting every second weekend, to be honest. *shrugs* YMMV.

[Synesthesy]

IMHO:

Roy would enter some kind of special forces, where you can fight (the only things he's really good at), and fight the bad guy.

Durkon would travel to Norway, seeking for the legacy of Norse religion. Then, he'd found a Beer Factory in the name of Thor. But as he's still Durkon, he doesn't really get rich, as he would give almost every income for the poors. If Hilgya comes here too, she'll get to live with Durkon.

Hailey and Elan would marry; Elan would become a rock singer, and he'd become enough rich for Hailey's standard. The song In the name of Banjo become a world hit.

Vaarsuvius would still seek redemption, so she would travel in the poorest country in the world to give help. She'll never understand why in this world people cares so much about gender and sexuality.

Belkar will become President of Italy. But I won't explain this :smalltongue:

[woweedd]

IMHO:

Roy would enter some kind of special forces, where you can fight (the only things he's really good at), and fight the bad guy.

Durkon would travel to Norway, seeking for the legacy of Norse religion. Then, he'd found a Beer Factory in the name of Thor. But as he's still Durkon, he doesn't really get rich, as he would give almost every income for the poors. If Hilgya comes here too, she'll get to live with Durkon.

Hailey and Elan would marry; Elan would become a rock singer, and he'd become enough rich for Hailey's standard. The song In the name of Banjo become a world hit.

Vaarsuvius would still seek redemption, so she would travel in the poorest country in the world to give help. She'll never understand why in this world people cares so much about gender and sexuality.

Belkar will become President of Italy. But I won't explain this :smalltongue:
1. Hey, Roy could start an architecture firm.
2. Isn't she still Evil?
3. Breach of rules.

[KorvinStarmast]

Then we have V. It goes without saying that a level 16 wizard could almost certainly take over the world, even without Conjuration or Necromancy spells. The question is, would the post-soul-splice V want to? For me, this is the wild card. V goes to Vegas, becomes the most awesome magical act ever, gets filthy rich, and is still sad because money can't buy redemption. :smallannoyed:

IMHO: Durkon would travel to Norway, seeking for the legacy of Norse religion. Then, he'd found a Beer Factory in the name of Thor. But as he's still Durkon, he doesn't really get rich, as he would give almost every income for the poors.
Yeah. Durkon will be Durkon.
If Hilgya comes here too, she'll get to live with Durkon. Hilgya will go out and become semi famous doing other things.
Hailey and Elan would marry; Elan would become a rock singer, and he'd become enough rich for Hailey's standard. The song In the name of Banjo become a world hit. Good cal.

Belkar will become President of Italy. But I won't explain this :smalltongue: Hmm, his way into politics has to be via his Food Channel show, and his ability to cook. One thing I found out about Italy was that the food is very regional, there. So he'd need to be able demonstrate facility with each region's cuisine to have a truly broad appeal. (And no, further puns and plays on words will not be forthcoming ...)

( I will offer a guess that Mr Scruffy would likely prefer the cuisine in the Campagne region. )

[Lacuna Caster]

V goes to Vegas, becomes the most awesome magical act ever, gets filthy rich, and is still sad because money can't buy redemption. :smallannoyed:
Well... with enough money spent in the right areas you can certainly prevent a lot of deaths. That probably counts for something.

[jwhouk]

Of course, the place where they land is Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.

This could make for some interesting situations...

[The Pilgrim]

Roy: Walks into an affluent neighborhood and is shot down by the police for carrying a weapon, before he can explain himself ("No, look, this sword is just a family heirloom, let me show you..." "he's drawing it! shoot!"). Left to die in a ditch, his half-dead body is rescued by members of a christian community who shelter him and treat his wounds.

In a critical health state, he attempts to comfort his concerned caretakers by mumbling that "it's not that bad, I already got killed once and came back". He is therefore believed to be an avatar of the Second Coming ("three days? took more than three months, actually") and after a miraculous recovery he becomes a respected religious leader ("Looks like Celia was right, I can pull being a Cleric").

Durkon: Becomes a staunch anti-forest activist. His movement in favor of desertification and climatic change receives a lot of funding from the mining industry. Ends up working as advisor for the Trump Administration.

Belkar: As a hobbit, he is recognized as a natural born New Zealand citizen and becomes a national icon. Discovers internet and becomes addicted to cat memes.

Vaarsuvius: Magic doesn't works in our world, so V is basically a helpless pointy-heared hairless monkey. Much to the ex-wizard's chagrin, begins to receive some cult following from the LGTB community, but rejects to become a LGTB icon as V doesn't understands gender-based issues at all.

Still tormented by the Familicide incident, begins to work at a Non-Government Organization on aid programs for developing countries. At some point, the territory V is working in gets overrun by militants from a religious movement who actually cares about people not having a defined gender. Sentenced to Death by Beheading for being an "Asexual Aberration", V manages to escape without actually understanding what has happened.

Unable to understand a world were people mind so much about gender, Vaarsuvius gives up and retires to live the life of an hermit.

Elan and Haley: With high charisma, master knowlede about dramatics, and proficency at musical instruments, Elan becomes a worldwide famous pop star. Haley becomes a celebrity too thanks to her status as his girlfriend. They enjoy a life of luxury.

Haley eventually ends fed up on getting so much daily tonnage of hate mail from Elan's teenage girl fans, and of being publicly perceived as just the dilettante girlfriend of someone else. Decides to become a women rights activist to get people to take her seriously.

Elan being Elan, and Haley being distracted, disaster strikes as Elan's manager, an unscrupulous producer of the entertainament industry (who also happens to be not exactly in friendly terms with women rights activists), scams him from all his money and gets him institutionalized as an Intellectually Disabled person. The Evil Manager then gets Haley publicly discredited for having taken sexual advantage on a mentally challenged person. She faces criminal charges, and ends up sentenced to serve time in a state prison.

Haley breaks out, bursts Elan out of the asylum, and the pair flees the country. They manage to get political asylum on New Zealand thanks to Belkar (who still finds the Bard funny). From there, they slowly manage to undermine and finally defeat the evil manager and restore their public image, with help from Roy's Church of the Second Coming and Durkon's influence in the US Goverment. They then get V out of retirement to manage their finances (V may be out of magic, but still has an extremelly high intellect).

And Elan finally gets his happy ending.

[martianmister]

Roy joins the military. Became a KIA while doing some operations in a middle eastern country.
Elan decide to become a pop music singer. His career lasts few decades before his ultimate death from drug overdose.
Haley joins CIA. While on a secret mission in a middle eastern country, they capture her, they torture her into giving up her secrets, and then kill her. Elan mourns her death for years.
Vaarsuvius never loses her/his hope to return home. She/he lose interest in outside world and remain 24/7 focused on finding a way back. Turn crazy from overwork and kills him/herself.
Blackwing finishes Vaarsuvius' magnus opus and returns to OotS's original world, only to found it destroyed by the Snarl. Eaten by the Snarl.
Belkar became a boss on criminal world. After committing numerous crimes, he's assassinated by his rivals.
Mr. Scruffy died from Mummy Rot, after spreading it into thousands and causing an epidemic that killed millions.
Durkon became a priest in Norse Neopaganism community and lead thousands into Thor's teachings. Killed by a religious extremist.
Hilgya gave up on religion. Became a mercenary and dabbed in arms trade. Arrested on charges of tax evasion.
Kudzu became a lawyer.

[MultitudeMan]

Roy joins the military. Became a KIA while doing some operations in a middle eastern country.
Elan decide to become a pop music singer. His career lasts few decades before his ultimate death from drug overdose.
Haley joins CIA. While on a secret mission in a middle eastern country, they capture her, they torture her into giving up her secrets, and then kill her. Elan mours her death for years.
Vaarsuvius never loses her/his hope to return home. She/he lose interest in outside world and remain 24/7 focused on finding a way back. Turn crazy from overwork and kills him/herself.
Blackwing finishes Vaarsuvius' magnus opus and returns to OotS's original world, only to found it destroyed by the snarl.
Belkar became a boss on criminal world. After committing numerous crimes, he's assassinated by his rivals.
Mr. Scruffy died from Mummy Rot, after spreading it into thousands and causing an epidemic that killed millions.
Durkon became a priest in Norse Neopaganism community and lead thousands into Thor's teachings. Killed by a religious extremist.
Hilgya gave up on religion. Became a mercenary and dabbed in arms trade. Arrested on charges of tax evasion.
Kudzu became a lawyer.

Well, at least you're not being pessimistic :smallsmile: .

[woweedd]

Well, at least you're not being pessimistic :smallsmile: .
To be fair, everyone dies eventually.

[KorvinStarmast]

Well, at least you're not being pessimistic :smallsmile: . I think you missed a bit: Kudzu becomes a lawyer. :smallcool:

(That's the second or third "Kudzu becomes a lawyer" idea I've seen in the last few days).

[Tarthalion]

I don't think Haley would do that well in the real world.

She knows nothing about electronic security and she's not used to effective law enforcement, CCTV, DNA testing (wtf would they make of her DNA?), fingerprints, etc, so her thieving skills and habits would lead her into a pickle.

Her fighting skills aren't much of a benefit in the midwest; she doesn't need to worry about walking down dark alleys at night, but they aren't good enough to make a living out of nor to protect against a well armed constabulary.

Maybe she could thrive in an uncivilized part of the world and she can certainly just live off Elan, who I think could do well in a number of arenas.

[KorvinStarmast]

I don't think Haley would do that well in the real world.

Two words: bluff check
Three words: Multi Level marketing
One word: Infomercials

She'd be a multimillionaire. :smallbiggrin: