Help me Write a Ballard

[Fishyninja]

So.
In my game that I am DMing my Paladin is on a quest to atone for a sin which caused him to lose some of his powers.
His god (and where he believes he gets is power from) is Lurure.
He has tried to throw lots of parties to appease her but no luck.

While searching for answers I planted the seed about a legend of a Brigade of Soldiers were slaughtered. The legend states they were cowards. In truth they were abandoned by their duke, he has discovered this.
This has tugged at his heart strings so he wants to pen a ballard (with the help of an NPC Bard) in order to 'exonerate the character of these men'

Need help writing it!


So there is a fort, where a Brigade from an age gone by was stationed, they lost contact with their lord and was told to hold the position regardless. This was during a land siege, so they held, and held, any man who deserted or fled was killed on site and the group were slowly whittled down to the last man the commander
Now this story is known as legend in the land but the Commander is portrayed as a cruel man, a man without humanity however in truth he cared for his men and even hated having to kill deserter's. He was the last one to die and when the lord who sent them found out that his enemies were within his lands he committed suicide rather than facing battle.


Name of Legend: War of Red Waters
The Brigade's name = The Rose Brigade
The Lord who left them = Plantagene
The commander = Horatio Rourke
Lord who they were fighting - Goge Vandire
Name of the fort = Lambridge Fort

[the_brazenburn]

Do you perhaps mean a ballad?

I'm not sure what a ballard is.

[Aett_Thorn]

Do you perhaps mean a ballad?

I'm not sure what a ballard is.

Ballard. Jake Ballard.

(I’ll show myself out)

[SpanielBear]

I guess a good starting point would be looking at existing stories and legends that cover that or a similar theme and possibly adapting them.

The 47 Ronin, The tale of El Cid and the story of Joan of Arc all contain elements you seem to want to draw upon, just off the top of my head. There are definitely others, but it's half one in the morning where I am and I should be sleeping... :smallwink:

[Fishyninja]

Do you perhaps mean a ballad?

I'm not sure what a ballard is.

It is a set of narrative or verse that is set to music. Think Rime of the Ancient Mariner.


I guess a good starting point would be looking at existing stories and legends that cover that or a similar theme and possibly adapting them.

The 47 Ronin, The tale of El Cid and the story of Joan of Arc all contain elements you seem to want to draw upon, just off the top of my head. There are definitely others, but it's half one in the morning where I am and I should be sleeping... :smallwink:

Hmm not a bad shout actually. This is the first time I have done somethign like this so sort of learning as I go along.

[Arkhios]

Do you perhaps mean a ballad?

I'm not sure what a ballard is.

It is a set of narrative or verse that is set to music. Think Rime of the Ancient Mariner.


Well, actually...


Ballard (surname)
Ballard is a surname of English origin. It likely derives from Middle English "ball," meaning "white spot," plus the suffix "-ard," and would therefore mean "bald head." Indeed, Wyclif translated 2 Kings 2:23 as "Stye up, ballard," where Coverdale translated the same passage as "Come up here thou balde head."

There are other sources for this name, besides the Anglo-Saxon. Not all people bearing the name are of English origins. It is common, with native etymology among several Celtic nations, although the British Celtic form is likely the original, and it may be that "Bald head" is a false etymology designed to give the name English roots. The earliest form is Ap Alard, meaning the "son of the fox" in Welsh, and it passed from Wales to Brittany as Aballard, whence it became popular in France under the form Aballaird, and thence to Spain.

VS.


Ballad (note, there is no 'r' between 'a' and 'd')

A ballad /ˈbæləd/ is a form of verse, often a narrative set to music. Ballads derive from the medieval French chanson balladée or ballade, which were originally "danced songs''. Ballads were particularly characteristic of the popular poetry and song of the British Isles from the later medieval period until the 19th century. They were widely used across Europe, and later in Australia, North Africa, North America and South America. Ballads are often 13 lines with an ABABBCBC form, consisting of couplets (two lines) of rhymed verse, each of 14 syllables. Another common form is ABAB or ABCB repeated, in alternating 8 and 6 syllable lines.

Many ballads were written and sold as single sheet broadsides. The form was often used by poets and composers from the 18th century onwards to produce lyrical ballads. In the later 19th century, the term took on the meaning of a slow form of popular love song and is now often used for any love song, particularly the sentimental ballad of pop or rock.

[the_brazenburn]

What you want to start with is a central verse. I think the easiest way to do it would be to come up with whatever it is you want to say in the ballad and boil it down to one sentence. Then make that sentence the last line of each verse.

From there, it's just like telling a story, but you have to rhyme the lines. Fun if you aren't too serious about it, it'll drive you mad if you try to make it perfect. Just have fun and don't worry about cringe.

[SpanielBear]

What you want to start with is a central verse. I think the easiest way to do it would be to come up with whatever it is you want to say in the ballad and boil it down to one sentence. Then make that sentence the last line of each verse.

From there, it's just like telling a story, but you have to rhyme the lines. Fun if you aren't too serious about it, it'll drive you mad if you try to make it perfect. Just have fun and don't worry about cringe.

This is a good suggestion.

And for god's sake don't make anything orange...

[Fishyninja]

What you want to start with is a central verse. I think the easiest way to do it would be to come up with whatever it is you want to say in the ballad and boil it down to one sentence. Then make that sentence the last line of each verse.

From there, it's just like telling a story, but you have to rhyme the lines. Fun if you aren't too serious about it, it'll drive you mad if you try to make it perfect. Just have fun and don't worry about cringe.

Hmm basically the main point is extolling the virtues of the soldiers and their breavery and teh tradegy of their plight.

Also

Ballad (note, there is no 'r' between 'a' and 'd')
My bad.

[the_brazenburn]

Hmm basically the main point is extolling the virtues of the soldiers and their breavery and teh tradegy of their plight.

So you'll want to make the main theme of your ballad something like "Weep for the soldiers of _, their bravery is unmatched. Forgotten by all whom they once loved, to treachery they're unknownly attached."

And please excuse my cringy rhyming, that was just an example.


My bad.

Ah, no problem.

[Fishyninja]

So you'll want to make the main theme of your ballad something like "Weep for the soldiers of _, their bravery is unmatched. Forgotten by all whom they once loved, to treachery they're unknownly attached."

And please excuse my cringy rhyming, that was just an example.


Hey it's a start! I know what I'll be doing afterwork tonight!

[Fishyninja]

Apologies for the double post but this is what I have:

"Weep for the soldiers of the Rose Bridgade, their bravery is unmatched.
Forgotten by all whom they once loved, to treachery they're unknowingly attached."

"With commander, honourable and true, the men of the brigade were sent to hell.
For Goge Vandires' forces. Pillaging the lands of Plantangne. It was Rourke's Job to Quell"

"for days numbering 972 The brigade were Plantagne's Aegis.
While lord Plantagne, cried and cowed. His actions egregious."

“Within the hold of Lambridge they held out as long as they could but without their lords acknowledgment
they slowly started to lose their steel like wit and harmonic teamwork was through”

But Heroic Rourke, an man whose honour was unmatched, kept the troops in line an morale up
While Vandire's final plans were being hatched.

And upon that fell day, where men of tabards of rose and gold were run through.
As Steel bit flesh, and claret poured free, Horatio knew Vandire's actions were ones he would rue.

"And as the blood of these heroes did taint the waters free, we end their story and begin a chapter with me."

"Paladin, Wizard, warrior and knave did seek the ridge or the lamb to see if the legend was a sham"

"As the heroes and I entered that tarnished husk of a jewel, met were we by the brigade of ghouls.
"Rourke's men, arisen form their eternal slumber, rallied against us, greater in number.

"With pick, shields, arcane energies and fists divine, the embattled party sought to cleanse this place, this shrine.
Bravely they fought and sent the tortured souls to rest, and that my friends is the end of their quest.

"As they returned to Waterdeep with appreciation of the rose, this...ladies and gentleman is where I shall end my Prose.

If you wouldn't mind PEACHing, that would be great.

[Laserlight]

You might take a little inspiration from this ballad from the Dorsai novels:

Jacques Chretien (https://www.di.org/songbook/jacquesc.htm)

[NinaWu]

[QUOTE=Fishyninja;23399874]It is a set of narrative or verse that is set to music. Think Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Rime is epic. If you came up with something like that it would definitely be memorable. How long do you need it?

[Fishyninja]

[QUOTE=Fishyninja;23399874]It is a set of narrative or verse that is set to music. Think Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

Rime is epic. If you came up with something like that it would definitely be memorable. How long do you need it?

Not long, about as long as the draft I posted a few posts above.


You might take a little inspiration from this ballad from the Dorsai novels:

Jacques Chretien (https://www.di.org/songbook/jacquesc.htm)

This is brilliant.

[Kyrell1978]

Apologies for the double post but this is what I have:

"Weep for the soldiers of the Rose Bridgade, their bravery is unmatched.
Forgotten by all whom they once loved, to treachery they're unknowingly attached."

"With commander, honourable and true, the men of the brigade were sent to hell.
For Goge Vandires' forces. Pillaging the lands of Plantangne. It was Rourke's Job to Quell"

"for days numbering 972 The brigade were Plantagne's Aegis.
While lord Plantagne, cried and cowed. His actions egregious."

“Within the hold of Lambridge they held out as long as they could but without their lords acknowledgment
they slowly started to lose their steel like wit and harmonic teamwork was through”

But Heroic Rourke, an man whose honour was unmatched, kept the troops in line an morale up
While Vandire's final plans were being hatched.

And upon that fell day, where men of tabards of rose and gold were run through.
As Steel bit flesh, and claret poured free, Horatio knew Vandire's actions were ones he would rue.

"And as the blood of these heroes did taint the waters free, we end their story and begin a chapter with me."

"Paladin, Wizard, warrior and knave did seek the ridge or the lamb to see if the legend was a sham"

"As the heroes and I entered that tarnished husk of a jewel, met were we by the brigade of ghouls.
"Rourke's men, arisen form their eternal slumber, rallied against us, greater in number.

"With pick, shields, arcane energies and fists divine, the embattled party sought to cleanse this place, this shrine.
Bravely they fought and sent the tortured souls to rest, and that my friends is the end of their quest.

"As they returned to Waterdeep with appreciation of the rose, this...ladies and gentleman is where I shall end my Prose.

If you wouldn't mind PEACHing, that would be great.


Does it need to be an actual ballad? Ballads are generally arranged in stanzas of four lines (quatrains) that have the rhyme scheme ABAB (1st and third line rhyme as do the second and fourth). It would also be easier to set to some sort of tempo if the number of syllables per line (at least in the lines that rhyme with each other) were closer to the same. It wouldn't be hard to tweak what you have a bit. For instance, your first stanza could be something like:



[I]"Weep for the men of the Rose Bridgade, (9 syl) (A rhyme)
whose bravery is truly unmatched. (9 syl) (B Rhyme)
Forgotten by all, and then betrayed,(9 syl) (A Rhyme)
to treachery they have been attached. (9 syl) (B Rhyme)


With a little more tweaking you could get it to the 8 syl, 6 syl. scheme also but what you have is certainly passable for a game.

[Fishyninja]

Does it need to be an actual ballad? Ballads are generally arranged in stanzas of four lines (quatrains) that have the rhyme scheme ABAB (1st and third line rhyme as do the second and fourth). It would also be easier to set to some sort of tempo if the number of syllables per line (at least in the lines that rhyme with each other) were closer to the same. It wouldn't be hard to tweak what you have a bit. For instance, your first stanza could be something like:



[I]"Weep for the men of the Rose Bridgade, (9 syl) (A rhyme)
whose bravery is truly unmatched. (9 syl) (B Rhyme)
Forgotten by all, and then betrayed,(9 syl) (A Rhyme)
to treachery they have been attached. (9 syl) (B Rhyme)


With a little more tweaking you could get it to the 8 syl, 6 syl. scheme also but what you have is certainly passable for a game.

I am about as musical as a tone deaf spoon. I assume all you said was correct. It does not need to be a ballad perse but a Bard (profession) is writing it.

[Kyrell1978]

I am about as musical as a tone deaf spoon. I assume all you said was correct. It does not need to be a ballad perse but a Bard (profession) is writing it.

Then what you have is good to go.

[to a mouse]

Interested in how it plays out in your campaign Fishyninja, the Bard NPC and Paladin player RP well be enhanced by your creative skills

[Malifice]

Do you perhaps mean a ballad?

I'm not sure what a ballard is.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballard

Its not really anything.

[Unoriginal]

OP, if I may suggest:



https://youtu.be/S93lvQ4Ukg8

Charge of the Light Brigade.

[Fishyninja]

OP, if I may suggest:



https://youtu.be/S93lvQ4Ukg8

Charge of the Light Brigade.

Not a bad start either. I am going to use what I have. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you.