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View Full Version : Give me an inch and I'll take 144k feet in circumfrence



Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 09:15 PM
Normally I don't make topics to share my exploits, but today's just... well, I think it deserves some mention.

First, a disclaimer. My DM is pretty new to DMing. He's played plenty enough (under me, mostly) and has a decent grasp of the rules. We're good buddies, but he also wanted me around to help him get a better hold of the ropes. As such, I'm playing a character concept that is extremely difficult to deal with and roleplaying it rather seriously, explaining what I'm doing and how best to cope with it as a DM while I attempt to do it. My concept, as mentioned on these boards before, is to be a leader and lord of massive proportions, with a perhaps delusionary belief that I am destined to rule the world. The campaign setting, homebrewed, is based on an enormous material realm with several small planets all around.

Now, as the story goes, I was somewhat unwillingly sent to a mostly desert planet with the orders to take it over, by force, for a god that I don't worship. That last part's important- I'm a crusader, and I very specifically follow St. Cuthbert. In character, I'm none too pleased with this turn of events. I trot my loyal horse around the planet using a makeshift compass to discover the following- firstly, the whole planet is approximately 144,000 feet in circumfrence (I measured). There's a single structure, and inside is a rambling crazy man with intense alzheimers that claims to be the ruler of the planet. I learn from him that the presiding god is highly chaotic. There are several creatures, but they're all vermin living beneath the sands. Finally, the only water supply is a single oasis that travels around the planet at random. The DM's built this up mostly to attempt to railroad me into a showdown with the old man, I figure. Fantastic.

So, I use an item allowing me access to this planet to travel back and speak to the god that's pretty much forcing me to do this and, while saying in so many words that it's a hole, that I will require a new weapon for this. I ask for poison. The best poison available. A bunch of it, if at all possible. I'm given a divine poison, very potent and requiring very little, and decide to take that back instead. I travel around for a few hours, searching for the oasis. See, I figure I won't need a showdown at all if I poison the only water supply on the entire planet. I give myself the nickname Kefka. Only half the room gets the refference.

See, while he was attempting railroading, the DM submits to my line of thinking as to doing so- if you attempt it, you must accept that the rules of the railroading as you present them will not be changed once set. Thus, I poisoned the entire world and ended up the last living thing left on it in a day. As the only living thing, instead of travelling back to the very likely chaotic evil god that forced me into this mess, I proclaim myself king of the planet and name St. Cuthbert as the god of the planet. Being the only living thing there, my declaration thus wipes out any other claim to the planet other gods might have. I offer my domain in reverence and request portals to find other followers and lands in my holy crusade in his name. Since the DM's already set these laws in motion as to the structure of the universe and such, it's all agreed upon. I pop back onto the starting planet and begin instructing the loyal of St. Cuthbert into my lands, giving me at the end of the game today 102 subjects and an entire planet under terraformation and city construction. I will also never have to listen to the God of Railroading ever again since Big SC has my back.

I'm level 2.

As totally awesome as this is, I would like this to serve as a warning to new DM's. While I still say that railroading should always be avoidable, please consider widespread abuse when you construct your universe. I'm going to try to backpedal this to purposely weaken my character, such as trying to fight alone and not using my peoples' coffers for myself. Thank god for my altruistic streak is all I can say.

Tengu
2007-09-16, 09:20 PM
I didn't know St. Cuthbert allows evil deeds to be done under his name.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 09:21 PM
The creatures were all vermin and one crazy follower of a very chaotic god who very likely also populated the sand heap with said vermin. That's my story and I'm sticking to it :P

Emperor Tippy
2007-09-16, 09:23 PM
Thats worthy of my group. I award you 1 internet. Good job. And good lesson for the DM.

Tengu
2007-09-16, 09:26 PM
Guess that's okay, then.

A good example of a DM falling into a trap of being too soft on his players, I think - mostly the part about followers coming in from everywhere. I don't think if any god would care about a planet where's practically nothing.

I'd also comment on some specifics of this planet, but that'd kill a few catgirls.

JackMage666
2007-09-16, 09:27 PM
The use of poison to dessicate an entire planet is most definately an evil act. Even if they were just vermin, and only one human yo knew of, you destroyed an ecosytem. Sorry, I think anyone would see this as an evil act, and Cuthbert wouldn't take too kindly to it.

UglyPanda
2007-09-16, 09:31 PM
*Plays dancing mad*

I'm a bit confused as to why the crazy guy just didn't throw a rock at you and kill ya, but that story is just nuts right there.

Tengu
2007-09-16, 09:32 PM
The use of poison to dessicate an entire planet is most definately an evil act. Even if they were just vermin, and only one human yo knew of, you destroyed an ecosytem. Sorry, I think anyone would see this as an evil act, and Cuthbert wouldn't take too kindly to it.

I don't think if a character who's not a druid, ranger or otherwise environment-aware would care much about ecosystems. We're not talking XXI and late XX century here.

Submariner.

Sorry, I had to.

Nerd-o-rama
2007-09-16, 09:33 PM
He killed one (evil? Definitely mad) man and some bugs because he was forced to by an outside Chaotic Evil entity. He then outsmarted said CE entity and claimed the planet in St. Cuthbert's name. That's about as St. Cuthberty as you get. The reason SC is LN, despite being opposed to evil, is because he cares far less about the methods used to defeat evil than other gods.

Eldritch_Ent
2007-09-16, 09:33 PM
Hmm. While the initial act (poisoning the only well on the planet) might not have been lawful OR good, the end result (Bringing order and civilization to a chaotic Plane...t.... Probably evened it out in the end. (At least so far as cuthbert is concerned. He was always the militant one.)

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 09:34 PM
I suppose that does deserve some clearing up- I felt I had enough evidence to act due to things I found as I wandered around the desert and searched around that old guy's house. Firstly, I found his wife. I assume it was his wife, anyway. She was a corpse, apparently chained up and starved. I also found a dead silver dragon, one more corpse, and this explained to me how this planet survived without any vegetation and an entire population of scavengers (specifically, giant worms, rats, larger rats, and drider children, my biggest tip off that it needed cleansing)- they ate everyone that arrived by accident. Also, driders apparently popped in to collect their young (taken care of by the old man, somehow...) every few years. Something I suppose I'll have to correct soon.

This all came up due to my ceaseless questions about the insanity of this ecosystem. When he had to admit it made no sense, the whole "eats travellers" thing popped in, then the driders bit. It had to go.

Eldritch_Ent
2007-09-16, 09:46 PM
Bah, Ecology- The mean reason one should populate barren desert planets with only undead/constructs...

Belteshazzar
2007-09-16, 10:12 PM
Not only that but core Driders are incapable of reproduction. Not that this prevents cursed drider children but it does pose some questions.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 10:22 PM
It's pretty questionable, but my character wouldn't have known that's not normal, being from a universe where apparently that's normal. I figure, hey, homebrewed. If there were actually full grown driders there and had tried to face them instead of poisoning the planet, I probably would have been spider food anyway. CR limitations and all, since I was already cornered into fighting the planet one way or another.

Come to think of it, perhaps the drider angle was how the DM was getting me to fight, since I was a devout follower of St. Cuthbert. Until I found the corpses and had a nice chat about drider children with the crazy old man, I'd been refusing to fight anything that didn't try to eat me first. It was probably driving him crazy that I spent most of the time on the planet just trying to find a way off that didn't involve the deus ex machina deity instead of following the plot.

Dervag
2007-09-16, 11:01 PM
The use of poison to dessicate an entire planet is most definately an evil act. Even if they were just vermin, and only one human yo knew of, you destroyed an ecosytem. Sorry, I think anyone would see this as an evil act, and Cuthbert wouldn't take too kindly to it.It is not a priori clear that destroying an ecosystem is an evil act regardless of what that ecosystem is, or what ecosystem you intend to replace it with.

Environmentalism as we know it is not a universal idea.

Collin152
2007-09-16, 11:11 PM
It is not a priori clear that destroying an ecosystem is an evil act regardless of what that ecosystem is, or what ecosystem you intend to replace it with.

Environmentalism as we know it is not a universal idea.

Particularly when you throw magic into the equation.

drawingfreak
2007-09-16, 11:32 PM
I'm a little interested in knowing how you cleaned up the water to make the planet livable once more...and about the terraforming.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 11:37 PM
St. Cuthbert. I had invited the man himself there as an anchor in the material realm, with promises to find and bring as many followers from other worlds as I could muster. I asked for no wealth, gear, or abilities- I merely asked that the world be made suitable for inhabitance for the followers I would bring here, to make it a beacon of lawfulness in all the mortal universe. The first thing he fixed was the water supply. He also stopped it from moving and made it connect throughout the world with a few rivers. Then he began changing the sand into fertile dirt, though he left the planting up to myself and my people and he's going to take at least a year or two to completely change the sand to dirt like that.

This was due to a rule placed earlier by the DM that a god's power over a mortal world is directly related to the percentage of followers he has there. Since it's been 100% since I finished with the poison, he's been rather effective.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-16, 11:47 PM
Tricky.

And - though I can't assume to know Cuthbert's mind - having a place (a planet!) whose dominion is entirely his would be a hell of a feather in his cap at the next divinity poker night.

"So, what have your followers done for you lately? Oh... burned out an cult to Erythnul? Nice, nice... you remember that Einstrauss guy? Conquered a planet in my name. Yeah. Top that, Heironymous."

You could probably get him to perform at magic shows and children's parties after that if you ask, at least for awhile. Him devoting special attention to you is pretty much a given.

Depending on how the universe's rules work, you might even be able to improve your god's status and power from such a huge coup.

drawingfreak
2007-09-16, 11:48 PM
Hmm, not sure that the god'spower=percentageoffollowersonworld is smart idea just for this reason. I think it should be numbers/severity of the follower. *shrug* Maybe that's just me.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-16, 11:59 PM
For balance reasons, I agree. But the DM had good story reasoning for this. See, a deity's power here is directly related to his total follower count (or the follower count of all deities for overdeities), while the manifestation power is directly related to how many living souls on a plane are willing to accept the deity in question's appearance. For example, in Greyhawk under these rules, the most powerful deity to mortals would probably be Pelor, being the most widely worshipped and thus most capable of acting without the need of a mortal avatar such as a cleric. However, under these same rules, his total power there would be limited to things like appearing in dreams, parlor tricks, maybe bringing a man back to life once every decade, etc, because too many other living souls would oppose his intrusion.

Citizen Joe
2007-09-17, 01:21 AM
You realize that this 'planet' is only like 14 km in diameter. That's about the size of the Martian moons, and those are just captured asteroids.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-17, 01:38 AM
Why, yes. It's puny. I rode around the whole thing on horseback twice in one day. The second time is actually when I measured the place according to how long it took me on horseback (6 hours on a walking heavy warhorse, uninterrupted because it was getting retarded killing ordinary vermin with trample attacks). I only managed this rate because gravity is halved, and even that is rather generous considering that it should be practically nil if we applied real physics. Also, it was about 80% desert and one oasis that took an average four hours just to relocate every ten minutes, there were two suns perfectly opposite each other that left the world in permanent daylight (still a problem, actually), the ground was crawling with all kinds of vermin with a taste for intelligent creatures (according to the soul count, around 2 million critters... somehow. The soul thing is a whole 'nuther story), the whole damn thing was practically the total inverse of my alignment, and I was sent there unwillingly.

It was a dump. I'd say my total xenocide was a marked improvement. St. Cuthbert's terraforming and my subjects' construction of a small city there is pretty much a total makeover.

Yeah, I can finance that, by the way. Long story involving the deck of many things, a fantastic charisma, and subjects that are basically zealots following me only because of my favor with our common god.

Kurald Galain
2007-09-17, 02:58 AM
I found that a very interesting story.

Just one question - if this planet is so important, what prevents any random other god from invading it by force by now? Or yesterday?

Zincorium
2007-09-17, 03:25 AM
I found that a very interesting story.

Just one question - if this planet is so important, what prevents any random other god from invading it by force by now? Or yesterday?

Well, given how it was explained, a god's power on a planet is equal to the number of worshipers they have on it.

If you don't have any worshipers calling upon you to begin with, you probably can't even see the dang place. The warped-in food sources probably don't last long enough for it to blip up on their god's radar.

Kami2awa
2007-09-17, 04:57 AM
Hmm. While the initial act (poisoning the only well on the planet) might not have been lawful OR good, the end result (Bringing order and civilization to a chaotic Plane...t.... Probably evened it out in the end. (At least so far as cuthbert is concerned. He was always the militant one.)

Plus your act can be undone with a few castings of Create Water.

Hecore
2007-09-17, 05:10 AM
Seeing as how the Gods powers work I don't think it'd be possible to take over the planet -- I'm sure the Chaotic God that was worshipped by the old man would have at least attempted to stop your plans.

Murderous Hobo
2007-09-17, 07:23 AM
So what ever happened to the poison you put in the Oasis? Shouldn't it still be poisoned?

Kurald Galain
2007-09-17, 07:38 AM
So what ever happened to the poison you put in the Oasis? Shouldn't it still be poisoned?

The god cured it, he mentioned that.

Murderous Hobo
2007-09-17, 07:46 AM
The god cured it, he mentioned that.

Can you point it out because I'm nothing seeing it.

Much obliged.

tainsouvra
2007-09-17, 12:21 PM
Can you point it out because I'm nothing seeing it.

Much obliged. Right about here...


I asked for no wealth, gear, or abilities- I merely asked that the world be made suitable for inhabitance for the followers I would bring here, to make it a beacon of lawfulness in all the mortal universe. The first thing he fixed was the water supply. He also stopped it from moving and made it connect throughout the world with a few rivers. Then he began changing the sand into fertile dirt, though he left the planting up to myself and my people and he's going to take at least a year or two to completely change the sand to dirt like that.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-17, 12:41 PM
The fact that I wasn't much bothered by the resident chaotic god is a little unusual. Probably a plot oversight made so that it could even be possible for me to make any headway. I mentioned it in passing, but the matter hasn't been officially resolved. Since I'm trying to help cover the DM's plot holes when he makes them, this is what I've got-

Drider children, as he described them, were little more then spiders with a few humanoid features that lacked any real cognitive functions. Practically vermin themselves, you could almost mistaken them for unusually large arachnids. As such, they'd be incapable of following a god. So the only people on the entire planet capable of god worship was the crazy old man and myself. That would split the deity influence perfectly down the center. This would explain some of the... stranger occurences the DM stated. The old man, for instance, was held up by strings. I cut them off when I first met him and he appeared to die, only to come back the following day perfectly fine. The dead silver dragon had ruined strings on him as well, and I found it after it appeared to fly out of the oasis. I suppose the DM wanted to go farther with this and explain that it was the chaos god's attempts at scaring me off, but I poisoned everybody first.

daggaz
2007-09-17, 01:30 PM
Yeah, its definitely a very amusing turn of events, but by your DM's own god--power house ruling, that chaotic evil god should have put up a SERIOUS fight, considering he would have had you far outnumbered (if we are counting vermin and drider souls, as it seems we are) or at least on even footing. And now that you have single-handedly destroyed his private power monopoly over an entire planetoid? Yeah, he should be coming back for some revenge... call in the calvary, I say.

Indon
2007-09-17, 01:34 PM
Yeah, its definitely a very amusing turn of events, but by your DM's own god--power house ruling, that chaotic evil god should have put up a SERIOUS fight, considering he would have had you far outnumbered (if we are counting vermin and drider souls, as it seems we are) or at least on even footing. And now that you have single-handedly destroyed his private power monopoly over an entire planetoid? Yeah, he should be coming back for some revenge... call in the calvary, I say.

Unless he had no worshippers.

Just a powerless, mad deity rambling about at an Oasis...

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-17, 02:15 PM
Huh. Hadn't considered whether the crazy old man might have been the god, being that I killed him once and saw him alive the next day. Come to think of it, I never found his corpse after the poisoning. Can a god be so chaotic that he can't remember to defend himself or his domain for more then a few minutes at a time?

All the same, that's a serious threat I'll have to address later. So, I've made enemies out of two gods and a bunch of space faring driders. Maybe I didn't get out of this as well as I thought...

Citizen Joe
2007-09-17, 02:21 PM
I don't think those were driders, I think they are neogi. I don't think it is a planet, but rather an asteroid ship. I don't think the old man was crazy, I think he was afflicting by the confusing glance of the neogi's favorite pet, the Umber Hulk. I don't think you created a bastion of order, I think you just restocked the food supply, host bodies for the underground neogi/umber hulk colony.

Murderous Hobo
2007-09-17, 06:22 PM
Right about here...

Alright thanks.

I was wondering why such a plot hook was left unused. The dormant poison would be a great start to some sort of "chaotic taint" that befalls one or two inhabitants ever year.

Belteshazzar
2007-09-17, 11:19 PM
I don't think those were driders, I think they are neogi. I don't think it is a planet, but rather an asteroid ship. I don't think the old man was crazy, I think he was afflicting by the confusing glance of the neogi's favorite pet, the Umber Hulk. I don't think you created a bastion of order, I think you just restocked the food supply, host bodies for the underground neogi/umber hulk colony.

Dear God! That is the most reasonable explanation I can think of. Someone is about to take it hard to the face if that is true. I can see how Neogi young would look close enough. Especially if you never saw either one before.

Neogi are not known to be especially religious either so the plane could be under a complete divine mandate because you are the only worshiper at all. However one would wonder why any Neogi would not have already attacked or at least hired bounty hunters to reel you in so you can spend the rest of eternity a slave under constant domination effects.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 08:59 AM
It could make for an interesting mess of things, but my DM has only heard of parts of Spelljammer based on what I've used in the past. I'm fairly certain he's never heard of the neogi, though even then I have a trump card if that's somehow the case. I have the favor of an intermediate god capable of powerful manifestation on that particular planet. They'd have to drop at least 103 neogi that worship other gods before his ability to manifest is driven down to half thanks to the subjects I've already obtained.

All the same, now I know to build siege weapons on the tops of buildings to watch the skies. Even if he's never heard of neogi before, I bet an invasion is in my near future. So, my battle plans-

1.) I've already made sure that every building I've ordered constructed is made from stone. Since I know for a fact that my takeover is liable to piss off a lot of people more powerful then my level 2 ass, I need a city that can't burn and can take lots of punishment.

2.) I've begun training everyone for warfare, even the women and children, myself. Three of the people that came with me are wisened but decrepit crusaders themselves, not very effective in combat anymore but wonderful teachers. They'll all need to defend themselves very soon, I fear.

3.) The spoils of war back from my home plane that I never sold off netted me enough basic weaponry and armor to equip most of them, around 80 or so. It's another story, but I control the remains of an old crusaders' school and a small country there that's entirely unpopulated and only protected from invasion because I tricked the other players (another story, again). I'll need to buy the rest or fight some people that have what I need.

4.) As mentioned, I'll be wanting to build siege weapons watching the skies. The parts of Spelljammer my DM has seen, and appears to like the most, is the ships. I'm going to want weapons capable of destroying them in case he happens to bring spaceships into this game. I may also try capturing or building my own, but I can't begin to count on that at this point in the game.

5.) Laying good traps all around the city could do wonders. Every trap I lay will hinder an invasion, and perhaps take enough enemies down to give us a fighting chance.

The DM may never actually attempt an invasion against me here, but that's certainly not going to stop me from constructing a perfect defense point.

Collin152
2007-09-18, 06:38 PM
Well, if he diddn't before the defenses, you can be damn sure he will consider it now.

Dervag
2007-09-18, 08:01 PM
And - though I can't assume to know Cuthbert's mind - having a place (a planet!) whose dominion is entirely his would be a hell of a feather in his cap at the next divinity poker night.

"So, what have your followers done for you lately? Oh... burned out an cult to Erythnul? Nice, nice... you remember that Einstrauss guy? Conquered a planet in my name. Yeah. Top that, Heironymous.""Some planet. It's what, nine miles wide? I've got tons of worshippers with kingdoms so big that you could stick that planet into them and never find it again. So do you, for that matter."


there were two suns perfectly opposite each other that left the world in permanent daylight (still a problem, actually),With something that small, you could probably get St. Cuthbert to rig an orbital sunshade, no problem.


the whole damn thing was practically the total inverse of my alignment, and I was sent there unwillingly.

It was a dump. I'd say my total xenocide was a marked improvement.I hate to say it, but I pretty much totally agree with you.


Well, if he diddn't before the defenses, you can be damn sure he will consider it now.Yeah. In a universe that follows the laws of dramatic narrative, building a defense invites an attack.

Mewtarthio
2007-09-18, 08:14 PM
Well, if he diddn't before the defenses, you can be damn sure he will consider it now.

Ah, the perils of planning. If you don't prepare for the unexpected, you get caught off-guard. If you prepare for the worst, you give the DM ideas, and he comes up with something even worse.

Shas aia Toriia
2007-09-18, 08:15 PM
I assume that the city is built around the oasis, right?

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 08:27 PM
Ah, yes- either prepare for nothing and play roulette with fate, or prepare for everything and then face it. I should expect nothing less.

The whole goddamn place is of dubious value, save for the fact that I can commune with my god face-to-face there. It's most important strategic value for me right now is that none of the other players, my rivals, can access it. Everyone else is on our war-torn homeworld, where I happen to own a small kingdom roughly three times larger then the entire planet I own. It's the remains of a crusaders' school that was left in ruins at the beginning of the campaign, and I claimed right of lordship based on being the only living lord left after we lost the war. The other players did the same with their respective schools, and I figured that since a school war was what destroyed them all in the first place, I didn't want to keep my strength anywhere near this place.

That kingdom is entirely deserted, but the other players don't know this. I attended a truce meeting and agreed to an armistice, not revealing that I didn't have anyone left in my lands to defend against an invasion. Hell, those stone structures I'm building on my planet? They were all salvaged from what was in the kingdom. That whole beginning planet is too volatile for my tastes, and I may not resettle there for quite a while. My next stop is a new planet under tribal rule, to try and smash a place of chaos in St. Cuthbert's favor. Convert the savages to the side of law, and I'm sure to deliver a crippling blow throughout the universe, seeing as this is a much, much bigger planet.

I wonder if the DM's going to stop me now that I've clearly become a planet conqueror. He seemed to be supporting it with the whole talking to St. Cuthbert about other potential conquests thing.

Shas aia Toriia
2007-09-18, 08:30 PM
Remember, your DM will have a lot more contingent plans now. After all, humans are (usually) intelligent beings. We can adapt - by that I mean, if Joe the tribesman is attacking the T-Rex, but it eats him whole, then Bob, his brother, realizes that the T-Rex is dangerous.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 08:34 PM
Oh, I'm sure no more planets will have a Death Star-style exhaust port. But it's actually only going to get harder to stop me as I level, focusing everything on leading as I am.

Shas aia Toriia
2007-09-18, 08:41 PM
By the way, are there any other PC's? If so, where have they been while you conquered a planet?
Lastly, remember that taking over an inhabited planet requrires a lot of effort, likely far more then you have to give right now. With only 103 followers, there's not much to do against a planet.

Also, why the love from the good Saint? After all, this planet of yours is tiny compared to even a town nowadays!

Citizen Joe
2007-09-18, 08:47 PM
Well, you can assume your DM is an incompetent Monty Haul DM that you tricked into giving you a planet, or you can assume he's smarter than that and has something up his sleeve. You can assume you, as a player, know how all the divine mechanics works, or you can assume that is the purview and domain of the DM.

You just seem a little cocky for being level 2.

I dunno... I could be wrong... maybe I'm just paranoid.

Green Bean
2007-09-18, 08:52 PM
Well, you can assume your DM is an incompetent Monty Haul DM that you tricked into giving you a planet, or you can assume he's smarter than that and has something up his sleeve. You can assume you, as a player, know how all the divine mechanics works, or you can assume that is the purview and domain of the DM.


Wouldn't a Monty Haul DM be the one who plans to give you a planet? I though the whole point of Monty Hauls were that you didn't have to trick things out of the DM so much as wait for them to fall from the sky.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 09:01 PM
The love comes from my absolute devotion and zealotry, not from the planet per se. In the same sentence that I proclaimed myself king, I offered the first real land I came to control to him. Same with my other kingdom, but it's, of course, neglected.

There are other PC's, and I've come in contact with them several times. I'm the only lawful PC, and this constantly puts me at odds with the rest of them.

One's a human cleric of some minor god that might not exist, chaotic good with chaotic neutral leanings (may turn soon based on his actions). I attempted to forge a truce with him during an inter-PC fight to take down a dragon, but instead he refused my hand because he was hoping to have a body to loot and the god presiding over this fight (the chaotic evil one I mentioned betraying earlier) teleported me out of there when I started to face down the dragon myself, for fear that the number of supporters I did have would actually kill his pet dragon. The dragon was only large sized.

Another's a human wizard that's written neutral good but is definitely more True Neutral. In the beginning of the game, under the influence of a powerful curse that zapped my intelligence and during the school war, I invented "peebagging" with this guy, wherein I tossed a bag full of trail mix and pee at him while charging on horseback in place of a tanglefoot bag because I was out of my mind. He never really got over that and during the dragon incident was also a detractor of mine, and the one who incited that very dragon to attack me. I'd say we're not on the best of terms due to this.

The final PC is a wood elf warblade that's chaotic good and actually shows chaotic good tendencies. He's the only PC I haven't been at odds with before, and he was actually following me in combat during the evil god's tournament/dragon incident. Though he's chaotic, our morale code and sense of justice is very related. He (temporarily) slew the wizard and tried to slay the cleric for trying to turn the dragon on me after I was zapped away, and took down a good handful of their NPC troops before the arrows caught up to him and the cleric finally stepped in and delivered a final, rather cowardly blow to his remaining 1 hp. He was the first to turn on the evil god as well, though he didn't do it from the safety of a different planet and under a more powerful god's protection. My character deeply respects his bravery.

We play this in rounds. Each player basically solos for five minutes before it's the next guy's turn. This works out due to our amusing OOC banter, though I think the DM had intended for us to start working as a team after the beginning. Nuts to that :smalltongue:

bingo_bob
2007-09-18, 09:01 PM
So... based on what you've told us, I'm guessing your campaign is as follows:

Each of the characters (and you're against each other, not cooperative) has gained control of a small, war-ravaged country, and your goal is basically global domination. Right? Because that would be quite cool.

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 09:07 PM
That's mine, and I related it to the DM when we started the whole thing. The wizard wants to become a god, the warblade wants to forge a proper land for the children he wants to have, and the cleric is given to gluttony, lust, and several other rather nasty sins. When next we meet, I think I may form a pact with the warblade to take with me to the tribal planet. We may have to fight the other two as they become perverted with corruption at a later date.

Collin152
2007-09-18, 09:16 PM
Great, now I want a world-conquering campaign. How well does old stuffy the rulem'n of mace-holdingness pay?

Viscount Einstrauss
2007-09-18, 09:59 PM
Well, for poisoning an old man and two million critters while simultaneously pissing off two chaotic gods, the pay was purifying the lake (there's a purity effect as well- fully heals any true follower that drinks from the middle of the lake), creating a world portal for my personal use, granting me divine mandate for conquest and rule, terraforming a crappy desert planet into something livable, and godly advice on good targets in my megalomaniac campaign. Oh, plus protection from other gods- wherever I go, Cuthbert uses whatever influence he has there to shield me from whatever other deities might be eyeing me.

Collin152
2007-09-18, 10:04 PM
Woah. Viva le Crusades.

horseboy
2007-09-18, 10:12 PM
The fact that I wasn't much bothered by the resident chaotic god is a little unusual.
Well, he's a god of Chaos. Of course he's not going to strike back, that's what you're expecting. Of course, knowing that he's the god of Chaos you wouldn't be expecting it, there fore he'll do it, but not because of revenge, but because you're not expecting that you're expecting it.
:smallsmile:

Green Bean
2007-09-18, 10:13 PM
Well, he's a god of Chaos. Of course he's not going to strike back, that's what you're expecting. Of course, knowing that he's the god of Chaos you wouldn't be expecting it, there fore he'll do it, but not because of revenge, but because you're not expecting that you're expecting it.
:smallsmile:

How unexpected! :smallbiggrin:

Collin152
2007-09-18, 10:15 PM
Well, he's a god of Chaos. Of course he's not going to strike back, that's what you're expecting. Of course, knowing that he's the god of Chaos you wouldn't be expecting it, there fore he'll do it, but not because of revenge, but because you're not expecting that you're expecting it.
:smallsmile:

Of course, being an entity of pure chas, you can't trust logic of any sort, so he will not strike at all. Of course, given that you now know this, he may. Of course, he may just send a horde of chaos beasts out of nowhere to smite you good.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-18, 10:18 PM
Of course, being an entity of pure chas, you can't trust logic of any sort, so he will not strike at all. Of course, given that you now know this, he may. Of course, he may just send a horde of chaos beasts out of nowhere to smite you good.

Or he could die without a fight just out of spite and contraryness.

Dervag
2007-09-18, 10:32 PM
My next stop is a new planet under tribal rule, to try and smash a place of chaos in St. Cuthbert's favor. Convert the savages to the side of law, and I'm sure to deliver a crippling blow throughout the universe, seeing as this is a much, much bigger planet.Do me a favor; don't be quite so mean this time.

The 'savages' might actually back you if you demonstrate a willingness to help them with their own troubles. And uniting the clans gives your deity more worshipers than destroying them, anyway.


Lastly, remember that taking over an inhabited planet requrires a lot of effort, likely far more then you have to give right now. With only 103 followers, there's not much to do against a planet.On the other hand, he doesn't necessarily have to conquer this one by defeating every entity thereon the way he did with the previous planet. He can try to forge an empire by allying with one tribe against another, taking as his model Cortez's conquest of Mexico.


Also, why the love from the good Saint? After all, this planet of yours is tiny compared to even a town nowadays!Yes, but it's all his. Based on the way divine power works in this setting, that is a very valuable thing in and of itself.

dyslexicfaser
2007-09-18, 10:45 PM
All I can say is: Viscount, I hope this story is going to end with, 'And then they made me their king.'

Mewtarthio
2007-09-18, 10:54 PM
All I can say is: Viscount, I hope this story is going to end with, 'And then they made me their king.'

Technically, shouldn't that be "and then he made me his divine proxy"?

Collin152
2007-09-18, 11:19 PM
Technically, shouldn't that be "and then he made me his divine proxy"?

I'm almost 789,000% sure he wsa talking about the tribes, not Saint Cut-throat.

Alleine
2007-09-18, 11:24 PM
Man, now I really want to play a zealous crusader.

I suppose I could just settle for the first Warforged in space. I have my own schemes to cook up.