I'm Planning To Play An LGBT Character

[Bartmanhomer]

Hello everybody. I've mentioned this to the random banter a while back. Anyway I'm playing an LGBT Character who's happen to be a Chaotic Good Male Human Bard who's gay. He married to a Chaotic Good Male Human Barbarian who been together for so many years. So I want to know how can I be successful roleplaying my LGBT Character. Any advice anyone?

[Esprit15]

Treat sexuality as one box in the long list of boxes of descriptors for your character, instead of a defining trait. If you are straight, think about what aspects of your heterosexuality affect your behavior. Only change those ones.

[KillianHawkeye]

Well, it really depends on the setting and whether or not LGBT is accepted, because the only difference between gay and straight people IRL is that straight is universally accepted whereas non-straight people have to care about being judged or harassed or mistreated (or worse) by random strangers on a constant basis.

From a D&D standpoint, the closest thing I can compare it to is being a half-orc. Depending on where you are, maybe nobody blinks an eye at half-orcs, but other places "won't take kindly" to no filthy half-orc vermin.

Saying "my next D&D character is going to be gay" is basically the same as saying "my next D&D character is going to be black." These things literally don't matter to the game unless you make it matter in the setting.

At least your character is going to be married, so you won't be making your fellow players uncomfortable by hitting on their characters all the time, so that's something....

[Lvl45DM!]

Hello everybody. I've mentioned this to the random banter a while back. Anyway I'm playing an LGBT Character who's happen to be a Chaotic Good Male Human Bard who's gay. He married to a Chaotic Good Male Human Barbarian who been together for so many years. So I want to know how can I be successful roleplaying my LGBT Character. Any advice anyone?

First that couple sounds adorable.
But do beware of playing into silly stereotypes of the butch and femme members of the gay couple. Just because one is bigger and stronger and more traditionally masculine (the barbarian) and the other tends to be a bit more foppish and traditionally feminine (the bard) doesnt mean that they are limited to those roles with each other. If they are married and Good people in a good relationship they should have a strong partnership where they compliment each other.
Figure out how gender and sexual minorities are treated in your world. If your bard kisses his husband in public will people ignore it? Cheer it on? Attempt to arrest or lynch them? Then figure out how your character responds to those responses. A Chaotic Good character is likely to flaunt his relationship if in a society that condemns it, but will be happier to be low-key in a society that accepts it.

Feel free to casually murder homophobes. Its DnD. Killing evil without major repercussion is half the point

[Red Fel]

Hello everybody. I've mentioned this to the random banter a while back. Anyway I'm playing an LGBT Character who's happen to be a Chaotic Good Male Human Bard who's gay. He married to a Chaotic Good Male Human Barbarian who been together for so many years. So I want to know how can I be successful roleplaying my LGBT Character. Any advice anyone?

Honestly, Barty? I wouldn't.

Here's the thing. You wouldn't be here asking "How can I be successful roleplaying a character who likes cats," or "How can I be successful roleplaying a redhead," or "How can I be successful roleplaying someone who believes that a hot dog is a sandwich?" Those are just traits, aspects of a personality that add up to form a cohesive whole.

As Esprit points out:


Treat sexuality as one box in the long list of boxes of descriptors for your character, instead of a defining trait. If you are straight, think about what aspects of your heterosexuality affect your behavior. Only change those ones.

Sexual orientation is just one of a number of traits. Unless your game has a particular focus on sex or romantic relationships, it will likely have about as much impact on gameplay as what kind of pizza your character likes.

Unless, of course, you decide to Make It A Thing.

You wouldn't do that with hair or eye color. You wouldn't Make A Thing out of whether your character is left-handed. And trying to Make A Thing out of sexual orientation... well, that probably won't play well. Especially if you have to ask how to Make It A Thing. At best, it may come off as tone-deaf or insensitive; at worst, you're painting an entire group with a broad brush. And you don't want to do that.

Take a step back. A gay character plays exactly like any other character. The only change - literally the only change - is to whom the character may or may not be attracted. And even that might never come up in gameplay, unless you force it.

Don't force it. And if you plan to force it... Maybe don't? Maybe just don't play the character, if you plan to spend the time saying, "Look at my character who is gay! Look at my gay character!"

I'm not saying you will do that. I'm just saying that if you were considering it... Maybe don't?

[DeadMech]

Like any sensitive issue there is a chance you might step on toes but I don't think that's a reason you can't do it. As long as you come at it from a place of good intentions and are willing to acknowledge mistakes might be made. And since you are here asking for advice I can only assume that you want to do this as realistically and inoffensively as can be.

Best advice I can think of is to know your audience. You're playing with a small group of friends and not millions of people (probably). My opinion isn't important. Our opinions aren't important. Just the Gm and the other players. If they are comfortable with what you are doing then that's really all that matters.

Other than that other people here have given good advice. LGBT people are just regular people dealing with a society that may or may not see them as fitting in. Regardless of who you are I think everyone has dealt with not fitting in. Sometimes we try to hide the thing that makes us different just trying to get by. Sometimes we project it outward so that we minimize the amount of time we spend with people who aren't receptive and maximize the time we spend with people who are.

[MaxiDuRaritry]

A number of societies in the time of Ancient Greece (y'know, when like 80% of the Monster Manual's monsters were first dreamed up) accepted and even embraced homosexual relationships, albeit in restricted forms. Some armies even encouraged their men to have such relationships among them, in the idea that soldiers who loved each other would fight all the harder to protect each other. Do some research into the historical views on LGBT people, and take notes.

I've played gay characters before, had one character in particular -- a teenaged LE blue goblin factotum // psion -- that was quite forward about it, though I kept anything risque under wraps and just hit on the various stable boys in the inns we stayed at. Him being homosexual was just a facet of who he was; he was also gleefully cruel to his enemies but loyal to his friends. Crotchety most of the time, but had a soft spot for children and friendly animals. He hated clowns and mimes with a passion, and he hardly ever gave his word about anything, but when he did, he always did his best to keep it. The fact that he was a surprisingly adept lover and just happened to practice his skills on those of his own gender were side-notes, really only mentioned when they were relevant, such as the time he tried to seduce a couple of noblemen in exchange for some favors from their social positions.

I would suggest that you think about your character, who he is, where he came from, and how it shaped him and how at home he is with that aspect of himself. Which stereotypes and cliches you want to avoid, and which tropes you want to emphasize, if any. Did your character grow up in an accepting society? An oppressive one? One where if he was caught doing something the establishment didn't approve of, he'd be ostracized, or even put to death? One in which he could have dalliances on the side so long as he had a wife and children as his "real" relationship? Or maybe it's okay in very specific contexts, such as the above army situation? How does that affect the way he sees that part of himself? Is he comfortable with it? Has he been bullied or harassed because of it? Does his family know? Do they accept it or reject it? Is there a subsection of society, such as various cults or religions, that view such as a sin, while most others are okay with it?

In any society where the LGBT spectrum is part of what is normal, a gay person wouldn't see themselves as any different from a straight one; he is just attracted to a different type of person than is most typical. It's not really that different from something like one's interests and proclivities affect one's career options. They affect a lot of little things about you and your life, but your career (or who you love and/or lust after) doesn't determine everything about you.

Take your notes to your DM and ask him how the LGBT crowd is accepted/embraced/rejected in the various societies in his world, and make sure s/he puts some thought into it. If necessary, remind him or her that not every society will have the same views on the subject, and that such is often different even in various demographics in the same society. Race, class, social status, economic status, religious affiliations, family ties, alignment, personal experiences that differed from the norm, and more can all influence things. Magic may come into it, as well. Anyone saying that homosexuality is wrong because sex and relationships should be mainly about reproduction, what happens when alter self or polymorph comes into play, for instance? Bestow curse is fully capable of long term gender swapping, according to the BoVD. Mind-altering effects can also change one's sexual orientation, which makes "pray the gay away" more liable to actually work, though it may also be seen as immoral or unethical. The view that homosexuality is a mental illness may not last long if magics that heal the mind don't affect it one way or the other.

Sexuality is a complex subject, and the more complex and nuanced you make that aspect of your character, the better off you'll be.

[Troacctid]

It's literally exactly the same as playing a straight character except the gender of the partner is flipped. There are no significant roleplaying implications beyond that glorified palette swap, and all of the major D&D worlds are accepting of queer identities.

I don't think it's an especially sensitive issue either. If anything, it's playing a straight male character that should be the sensitive issue. As a queer woman who often plays at male-dominated tables, don't get me started on the casual sexism that is almost invariably displayed whenever a dude tries to have his character seduce the barmaid.

[martixy]

A number of societies in the time of Ancient Greece (y'know, when like 80% of the Monster Manual's monsters were first dreamed up)

Especially given the fact that D&D's world, as much as likes to pretend, isn't modelled on medieval fantasy, but on classical heroic fantasy.

[Knaight]

Don't. Had you just done so it would be one thing, but as Red Fel is pointing out the very existence of this thread is a textbook example of making it A Thing, and that's a bad road to be on.


Well, it really depends on the setting and whether or not LGBT is accepted, because the only difference between gay and straight people IRL is that straight is universally accepted whereas non-straight people have to care about being judged or harassed or mistreated (or worse) by random strangers on a constant basis.

That's the most prominent difference, but there are other effects that persist even without that prejudice. To start with the romantic parts of one's life are going to be shaped by a much smaller pool of mutually compatible people, even absent other prejudices (e.g. - and if you bring other aspects back in, wrinkles inherently arise. Gendered expectations are also going to have to be handled differently, from it being harder to fall into particular gender proscribed and particular romantic forms to differences in communication that come from not being fed a lifetime of "oh, [other gender] is just a mysterious, nearly alien being that can't really be comprehended, so don't even try".

In the context of a D&D game you probably won't see any of this - they're subtle social factors, they tend to appear more in the context of population effects than individual behavior (and when appearing as individual behavior it tends to be of the "among the eight most prominent factors behind this decision is this one" variety), but they're still there.

[Selion]

Hello everybody. I've mentioned this to the random banter a while back. Anyway I'm playing an LGBT Character who's happen to be a Chaotic Good Male Human Bard who's gay. He married to a Chaotic Good Male Human Barbarian who been together for so many years. So I want to know how can I be successful roleplaying my LGBT Character. Any advice anyone?

Then you can play him the usual way, but with eventual social troubles. Unless you want to force a stereotypical behavior, which could even be realistic if a person is socially restricted. (the bard-barbarian couple seems already a bit stereotypical, with the female-male roles pitched)

[Florian]

Hello everybody. I've mentioned this to the random banter a while back. Anyway I'm playing an LGBT Character who's happen to be a Chaotic Good Male Human Bard who's gay. He married to a Chaotic Good Male Human Barbarian who been together for so many years. So I want to know how can I be successful roleplaying my LGBT Character. Any advice anyone?

It doesn't matter whether we talk about a Chaotic Good Human Bard or Chaotic Evil Tiefling Dread Necromancer, that doesn't really touch upon the whole topic at all. I repeat myself: Take your time and try to finally get knowledgeable about alignments.

Ok, that out of the way, there're basically three questions you have to answer before anyone can really give you some advise.
1) Is being on the LGBT+ scale "A Thing" in the setting you play in or totally normal?
2) Is the Barbarian a PC, NPC or just a background feature? Actively or passively played?
3) Is the game you're playing a typical dungeon romp or more home story style?

Beyond that, you can think about the "masculine" // "feminine" thing that is mostly associated with a relationship. You can play this straight (feminine bard, masculine barbarian), you can subvert it (masculine bard, feminine barbarian) or you can go queer (f+f, m+m).

If you want to have a rock-solid high fantasy example, read "The Redemption Engine", a Pathfinder Tales novel that features a gay couple of The Iridian Fold, an esoteric brotherhood that explore how (male) gay couples of caster+martial can seamlessly work together, body and soul (rules for that are found in Distant Shores and are pretty much compatible with 3.5E)

[MeimuHakurei]

I only have two pieces of advice to playing a marginalized sexual orientation/identity:

1. Those who belong to it have a better eye for properly representing such a character as they experience it on a daily basis, compared to those that don't.
2. Expect lots and lots of comments about "forcing" this trait of your character.

[The Insanity]

Are you old enough to think about such things?

[Troacctid]

Beyond that, you can think about the "masculine" // "feminine" thing that is mostly associated with a relationship. You can play this straight (feminine bard, masculine barbarian), you can subvert it (masculine bard, feminine barbarian) or you can go queer (f+f, m+m).
They're both masculine. That's literally what "gay" means.


Are you old enough to think about such things?
I don't know what country you live in so I can't speak to your culture, but in the United States at least, romance is considered a G-rated topic, and in fact is quite ubiquitous in children's bedtime stories.

[Crake]

Why do I feel like every other week bartmanhomer brings in another "I'm planning to play an [alignment] [race] [class] with some kind of stereotype/cliche" thread? Do you really need the forum's opinion on every character you create? And why are you going through characters so often? Do your characters keep dying? Are you playing a multitude of one-offs? Do you keep getting booted from games over and over and have to join new ones? Why aren't you just playing one character for a consistent period of time to build something more than a 2d cardboard cutout of a character?

Giving a character these sorts of traits doesn't make them deep, all you're doing is tacking on a sticker to your cutout.

[Leo_0210]

First, i applaud you for wanting to give that representation where you can.

I agree with some of the others posting here that you should be careful when playing into the stereotypes.

I think if you keep the couple you have bard/barbarian, i would possibly 'flip the script' meaning take the expected roles and swap them; Tiny is never the little guy he's always the 7 foot tall brick house.

Have the conversations with your GM, try and feel out how the world would react to your coupling. Most fantasy worlds, as a whole, have no problems with it but some small countries or cities may. If we are embracing the verisimilitude of the world then this is the current fact of some places.

But for the most part, i as a self-proclaimed LG 'B' TQIA+ don't think my thought process is much different than most, except i think i notice the outlier more than the norm. I tend to look for things that break the mold to catch my eye. this is in people, art, nature, etc. (tbh this is probably just what i think is different about myself that other people do as well.)

As a person: I tend not to care how anyone identifies just so long as they can see me and my friends/partners/family as people.

in game:in general the sexuality doesn't come to play. there are some adventures, or perhaps if you're homebrewing it could come out more often. though sexuality/preference should never be used as a crutch or plot device, meaning you aren't a hyper sexed "man-lover" who can't control themselves at the sight of another male, or that you say "Well my character does it because their gay".

I firmly believe your heart is in the right place and that you intend to do this character justice and not make it just a token.


To Summarize for those TL/DR'rs:

I think its totally fine for a Cis/Het to play an alphabet soup character, in fact i believe i would encourage it if the intend to do so honestly. it could be a vitally mind-expanding opportunity.
Consider that sexuality doesn't generally present itself in game
Understand that there are places that are clearly not 'safe spaces' to be LGBTQIA+ and it could possibly be the table you sit at; if this is the case either see if you can help break down those misconceptions or realize that it is unsafe to voice those dissenting opinions and perhaps you should reconsider (the character, as well as those you game with).
Talk about your /partner the way you hear your others describe their's.


if you want to talk more you can PM me and i would be happy to give you some pointers on ways to bring this to the table in a natural manor. One of the biggest problems i see at most table i have been a part of is that it is so difficult to get any backstory out there. Especially if your GM is mashing through encounters and isn't taking the downtime to try and allow the party time to give the exposition.

[MaxiDuRaritry]

To everyone saying 'don't,' there's nothing wrong with playing a role of a person different than yourself, whether dark skinned or light, gay bi straight ace or other, or elf dwarf kobold human, etc.

Just go in with an open mind, be aware of damaging stereotypes, and have fun.

[death390]

question, is the character male who prefers the companionship of men. a male who thinks he is female trapped in the body of a man. or even something else. because there is a printed gender change spell in the book of erotic fantasy. could have a quest to find the spell to reflect the characters true self is it is 2nd one? idk, can't help too much not gay myself.

[Knaight]

To everyone saying 'don't,' there's nothing wrong with playing a role of a person different than yourself, whether dark skinned or light, gay bi straight ace or other, or elf dwarf kobold human, etc.

Just go in with an open mind, be aware of damaging stereotypes, and have fun.

There isn't - but there is a question of who can be trusted to do this, and going to a forum with a post like "I'm going to play a [group] character, how do I do that" is a very good sign that you're not one of the people who can be expected to avoid damaging stereotypes.

For elves, dwarves, and kobolds this generally doesn't matter, as those are fantasy races where fictional portrayals can't really have any backlash on real people, what with the absence of real people.

[TheYell]

Why / How is sexuality important to your roleplay?

If it isn't, then please don't mention it.


From my experience it just isn't played upon, unless you're playing Exalted, and then it can come up for the wrong reasons. I mean, coercive love charms. I admit I'm in my 40s and play with older people than the kids today.


I had one game where there was a heterosexual relationship between two characters, and it led to a damnfool ranger feeling he had to draw sword to protect his wife. At a military checkpoint. I still think we should have been either killed or outlaws or both after that one, but the GM said he rolled insanely low on guard reactions.


Now there's an example of a heterosexual relationship my character looked sideways at, because he couldn't trust them to behave rationally after that. Are you prepared to have negative character reactions to your relationship?

[denthor]

I play a blue 1/2 orc female in my game. She has harassed every female gnome in the party. Giving them nick names hooknose. Use it here. I play with the youngest is 23 men most of us are 49 or older.all men. Until the last 2 months. One woman joined a group of 12 men.


So last night her friend decided my wizard needed to try men. So he went to town found a male 1/2 orc painting him blue. Turning him lose in my room. I rolled nothing but 5 and lower. Then he went and got a rope. They tied me up. The girl (young woman) I asked did you know about this type of thought. Her answer 15 years I have known him. Never showed me this side. She was accepting but mildly surprised.

Moral of the story. Know your audience.

[TheYell]

Well come to think denthor, we joke about it, but actually insisting it be included in table play would be considered gauche. In my circle. Which may mark us as odd.

[Rhedyn]

As long as you understand that LGBT status in a world with elves and dwarves is an extremely mundane personally feature, you'll do fine.

Silly mundane human differences aren't exciting to a lot of people who play these elf games.

Or to put it another way, your character's sexuality is less interesting than if they always wear a white left glove.

[Bartmanhomer]

Wow. Thank everyone for the comments. Wow I didn't realized that I'm opening a huge can of worms with this topic. Ok just to be really clear about it, I'm not making fun and stereotyping anyone sexual orientation. And just for the record I strongly support the LGBT. I was just asking how can I roleplay an LGBT Character but everyone got mixed opinions already.

[Buufreak]

Wow. Thank everyone for the comments. Wow I didn't realized that I'm opening a huge can of worms with this topic. Ok just to be really clear about it, I'm not making fun and stereotyping anyone sexual orientation. And just for the record I strongly support the LGBT. I was just asking how can I roleplay an LGBT Character but everyone got mixed opinions already.

That's just the thing, mate. Being gay isn't going to be an overbearing and utterly defining trait. You are married. It happens to be to someone of the same sex. Do you know how often that is going to come up? As often as you make it. Not let it. Make it.

I'm going to give a great example of this in gaming. Did you ever play Knights of the Old Republic? Did you know that the Jedi girl Juhani is homosexual? No. Because it isn't something that is rammed down your throat every 3 seconds. It actually is something that is isolated to a singular scene that only comes up if you play the game in a very particular way, including playing a female and good character, amongst other things.

That's the point everyone is trying to get at, here. We aren't trying to bite your head off or anything, but instead pointing out how subtle of a thing this potentially is. In the case of Juhani, it is a trait of her character, but it isn't a defining trait. It doesn't make or break her entire character. It literally comes up once. And that is a way that something like that should generally be handled. "Hey, btw, I'm gay." "Okay, cool, lets go stop the Sith lord." Yours would sound something more like "Hey, btw, I'm gay," followed by "That's cool, wanna keep playing music?"

[Bartmanhomer]

Ok I get it now. Thanks Everyone for the advice. :smile:

[TheYell]

Yes to what Buufreak is saying. And if it DOES matter you should probably get it very specific how it matters. Is your character going to be tempted by hot gay guys? Is he going to risk being imprisoned by a homophobic authority? What's the point of a sexual orientation to your game?

I think the best advice is to raise it with your table, and see what they want from the game. Some people don't want characters to be romantic/sexual in any way, some don't mind it as long as its done in a subdued way, some people aren't going to support a LGBT character. You don't seem to welcome controversy -- I do, it makes things interesting to play a character with a hook -- so you may just want to drop for your present game. Shouldn't hurt to ask them though.

(ninja'd by first poster)

[Florian]

They're both masculine. That's literally what "gay" means.

Don´t confuse "male" with "masculine". The later is more often used to describe certain behavior patterns. (ex: He´s no real male, he acts way too feminine for it...)

[ChaosStar]

I'm going to give a great example of this in gaming. Did you ever play Knights of the Old Republic? Did you know that the Jedi girl Juhani is homosexual?
Yes. It was extremely explicit in game. Not that I've played the game, just did some reading.

[Troacctid]

Don´t confuse "male" with "masculine". The later is more often used to describe certain behavior patterns. (ex: He´s no real male, he acts way too feminine for it...)
You're missing the point, which is that viewing same-sex relationship dynamics through a heterocentric lens is misleading and inaccurate. Gay couples don't have a man and a woman. It's two men. You'd think this would be obvious, but for some reason cishet people don't seem to be able to conceive of any other framework for a relationship. I've seen better models that were procedurally generated (https://twitter.com/WhichOneBot).


I'm going to give a great example of this in gaming. Did you ever play Knights of the Old Republic? Did you know that the Jedi girl Juhani is homosexual? No. Because it isn't something that is rammed down your throat every 3 seconds. It actually is something that is isolated to a singular scene that only comes up if you play the game in a very particular way, including playing a female and good character, amongst other things.
A more mainstream Star Wars example would be Baze and Chirrut from Rogue One, although that's more applicable to a relationship within the party rather than in backstory. Cassian is a good example of the latter.


question, is the character male who prefers the companionship of men. a male who thinks he is female trapped in the body of a man. or even something else. because there is a printed gender change spell in the book of erotic fantasy. could have a quest to find the spell to reflect the characters true self is it is 2nd one? idk, can't help too much not gay myself.
...🤦🤦🤦

[MaxiDuRaritry]

There isn't - but there is a question of who can be trusted to do this, and going to a forum with a post like "I'm going to play a [group] character, how do I do that" is a very good sign that you're not one of the people who can be expected to avoid damaging stereotypes.

For elves, dwarves, and kobolds this generally doesn't matter, as those are fantasy races where fictional portrayals can't really have any backlash on real people, what with the absence of real people.If anything, I prefer people to ask questions like this. That means the person in question is interested in learning about the subject and is willing to get input so he can do a good job of it, instead of basing his character off the Ambiguously Gay Duo, or something. Never, ever get upset at someone asking genuine questions out of a sincere desire to learn. It shows they want to better themselves and are willing to put in the effort to do so.

[The Insanity]

I don't know what country you live in so I can't speak to your culture, but in the United States at least, romance is considered a G-rated topic, and in fact is quite ubiquitous in children's bedtime stories.
I wasn't talking about romance.

[Troacctid]

I wasn't talking about romance.
...What do you think this thread is about?

[The Insanity]

...What do you think this thread is about?
About (roleplaying) a gay PC?

[TheYell]

OK let's say that you ask your table and there's no serious problem with a LGBT character in a committed relationship outside the party. What then?

Is this PF?

Take the Well Provisioned Adventurer trait and get several Noble outfits and a masterwork musical instrument. Take skill focus Perform and Skill focus Profession. Live for the high life. Seek to be rich and famous and ostentatious.

Be Liberace.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dioRwB4RvrQ

[Troacctid]

About (roleplaying) a gay PC?
What do you think being gay is about?

[The Insanity]

What do you think being gay is about?
Being attracted to the same sex? (in simple terms)

[martixy]

Being attracted to the same sex? (in simple terms)

And I thought it was about being merry and jovial!


A more mainstream Star Wars example would be Baze and Chirrut from Rogue One, although that's more applicable to a relationship within the party rather than in backstory. Cassian is a good example of the latter.

Speak for yourself. I know who Juhani is, but I have no clue who those other guys are.

[Troacctid]

Being attracted to the same sex? (in simple terms)
So what makes gay couples less appropriate for children than straight ones?

[The Insanity]

So what makes gay couples less appropriate for children than straight ones?
Gay couples? Nothing.

[Remuko]

question, is the character male who prefers the companionship of men. a male who thinks he is female trapped in the body of a man. or even something else. because there is a printed gender change spell in the book of erotic fantasy. could have a quest to find the spell to reflect the characters true self is it is 2nd one? idk, can't help too much not gay myself.

There is some transphobia in here. That second type of person youre talking about is a woman, not a man. The idea for the quest so she could make herself more comfortable in her body could be a good call in such a scenario, but shes not a man, and if shes attracted to men, shes also not gay.

[Troacctid]

Gay couples? Nothing.
So what was this?

Are you old enough to think about such things?

[The Insanity]

So what was this?
Am I on trial here or something? :smallconfused:

[MaxiDuRaritry]

Am I on trial here or something? :smallconfused:You made a comment suggesting that playing a homosexual person wasn't appropriate for someone of a younger age, and Troacctid is trying to figure out if you actually meant that, and what you actually did have in mind when you said it.

[Knaight]

You made a comment suggesting that playing a homosexual person wasn't appropriate for someone of a younger age, and Troacctid is trying to figure out if you actually meant that, and what you actually did have in mind when you said it.

Let's be clear here - Troacctid is trying to figure out if that comment actually was what it looks like ("the inclusion of gay characters is inappropriate for children because that inherently means sexual content, because that's all those people are"), because it doesn't look great. There's just a certain level of benefit of the doubt being extended that something else was meant by that, instead of the disgusting line of argument that phrase has been established as a shorthand for.

[Buufreak]

Yes. It was extremely explicit in game. Not that I've played the game, just did some reading.

I'm not generally the argumentative type... Oh hell, who am I kidding? It's like crack to me.

Seriously though, I played it 3 times completely through, with a mix and match of main characters and playstyles. It didn't come up during any of those. The only reason I knew about it is watching it on xplay years back, and it was roughly a 5 second scene.

[Bartmanhomer]

Ok we're getting way too off-topic here. I'm no mod or anything here but I think the comment was a bit too far for that. Also just for the record, I'm 33 years old. :annoyed:

[137beth]

Some of the advice in this thread is pretty good. You might also want to ask your question in the LGBTAI+ Question and Discussion Thread (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?535389-LGBTAI-Question-and-Discussion-Thread-IV-Citation-Needed).

[TheYell]

A open-ended declaration that you're going to roleplay a sexual identity begs the question, what does that mean to you, exactly?

It's not homophobic to think some themes are adult. Exalted 2 has optional rules for getting raped by fey using charms.

[The Insanity]

All I did was question the OP's age, and by extension, his maturity. The way he posts and what he posts just seems childish to me. For example his PC naming conventions. Do you know his gay character's name is "Robert Rainbow" (which he curiously left out when making this thread)? Yeah. Doesn't really give me confidence in his ability to play a non-stereotypical or non-offensive homosexual.
But maybe I'm just an overly sceptical person.

[Troacctid]

It's not homophobic to think some themes are adult. Exalted 2 has optional rules for getting raped by fey using charms.
It is absolutely homophobic to think that homosexual themes are more adult than heterosexual themes.


All I did was question the OP's age, and by extension, his maturity. The way he posts and what he posts just seems childish to me. For example his PC naming conventions.
You didn't ask how old he was, you asked if he was "old enough to think about such things." You can see how that might have some unfortunate implications.


Do you know his gay character's name is "Robert Rainbow" (which he curiously left out when making this thread)? Yeah.
...wait what wtf

[The Insanity]

You didn't ask how old he was, you asked if he was "old enough to think about such things." You can see how that might have some unfortunate implications.
Noted.


...wait what wtf
Just to be clear, I'm not psychic. It's just that I saw pretty much the same thread posted on Myth-Weavers a month or so ago, and there he included the character's name.

[death390]

There is some transphobia in here. That second type of person youre talking about is a woman, not a man. The idea for the quest so she could make herself more comfortable in her body could be a good call in such a scenario, but shes not a man, and if shes attracted to men, shes also not gay.

not trying to come off as transphobic, but a genetic male who feels like they are born in the wrong body often registers as male initially until corrected. (example) one of the people on my discord chat honestly feels uncomfortable in their body for this reason. LGBT is a rainbow for a reason, there are all sorts of people represented, and not all of them are obvious.

there are so many variations that i default to outward orientation until corrected, because it is less likely to cause an issue. calling a genetic male who considers themselves female a "he" is probably only going to get it explained that "he" is in fact a "she". conversely attempting to assume a persons gender (and being wrong) will most likely get you chewed out. i have yet to accidentally call the the person in my discord by the wrong gender since the initial correction.

considering that the OP used he and gay, yes you could say that it should be obvious, but i disagree. the details are important in this kind of situation that is why i prefaced my statement with a question.

[Lord Raziere]

Just to be clear, I'm not psychic. It's just that I saw pretty much the same thread posted on Myth-Weavers a month or so ago, and there he included the character's name.

Yeah, that....yeah, thats cringeworthy. the cringe is strong.

the people who say to only mention it in passing are right. like for DnD, it'll probably only come up in a particularly good tavern after a long day/week/month adventuring, specifically when asking whether to take the barmaid or the barman to bed for the night.

such matters of orientation can be explored in games more suited for them though, there are probably roleplaying games out there focused around romance, and whether your gay or not probably matters a lot more there than whether you can kill someone with a spell. mostly because DnD is not about relationships. for a gay character being gay to matter, character relationships have to be an important thing to the game, like a romance game or a politics game, those often run across it being important the most, particularly when feudalism and thus lords and bloodlines get involved. but DnD has never been about Game of thrones-esque politics.

[Bartmanhomer]

All I did was question the OP's age, and by extension, his maturity. The way he posts and what he posts just seems childish to me. For example his PC naming conventions. Do you know his gay character's name is "Robert Rainbow" (which he curiously left out when making this thread)? Yeah. Doesn't really give me confidence in his ability to play a non-stereotypical or non-offensive homosexual.
But maybe I'm just an overly sceptical person.I didn't need to mention his name because so many people make a big deal out of his last name which I don't understand this certain name been used about so many times. Because people would get offended just about everything these days. So I have to changed his last name.

[torrasque666]

I didn't need to mention his name because so many people make a big deal out of his last name which I don't understand this certain name been used about so many times. Because people would get offended just about everything these days. So I have to changed his last name.
..... you don't see why people would make a big deal about someone making a gay guy with the last name of "Rainbow"? That's the biggest red flag I can think of that this character would end up being a pale stereotype. Like, the kind where a single trait defines their entire personality.

[Bartmanhomer]

..... you don't see why people would make a big deal about someone making a gay guy with the last name of "Rainbow"? That's the biggest red flag I can think of that this character would end up being a pale stereotype. Like, the kind where a single trait defines their entire personality.

Like I said before I changed his last name so people wouldn't get so offended at all. Also I have to ask people at my job if they find the word Rainbow offensive. And they didn't find anything offensive about that word. And this word have been used for so many times such as Reading Rainbow, Rainbow Brite. And nobody else didn't find anything offensive about that. :annoyed:

And we even have a LGBT flag which represents the colours of the rainbow. How can anyone find that offensive? :annoyed:

[Knaight]

Like I said before I changed his last name so people wouldn't get so offended at all. Also I have to ask people at my job if they find the word Rainbow offensive. And they didn't find anything offensive about that word. And this word have been used for so many times such as Reading Rainbow, Rainbow Brite. And nobody else didn't find anything offensive about that. :annoyed:

And we even have a LGBT flag which represents the colours of the rainbow. How can anyone find that offensive? :annoyed:

Context is a thing - plenty of words are find in some contexts but not in others, and asking about them devoid of context is a way to get incorrect answers. Nobody here finds "Reading Rainbow" or "Rainbow Brite" offensive, and asking about them as if they're equivalent is at best ignorant and more likely disingenuous.

Also it is precisely because we have the rainbow flag that "Rainbow" as a last name comes off as a caricature. It's much the way that if I made a black character named, say, Richard Cotton I'm being a jackass. Going around asking people at work if they find the word "Cotton" offensive doesn't change this. The existence of phrases like "cotton sheets" or "100% cotton" or even "cotton gin" that are all inoffensive doesn't change that.

Your post here is pretty much a textbook example of why my first reaction was "Don't", because this thread has been giving off exactly the sort of vibes that the series of questions above encapsulate from the very beginning.

[Bartmanhomer]

Just to let everyone know. I changed my character last name into Raisin. And my intention was not to offend people. If I offended I really do apologize for that. :frown:

[MaxiDuRaritry]

Yeah, that....yeah, thats cringeworthy. the cringe is strong.

the people who say to only mention it in passing are right. like for DnD, it'll probably only come up in a particularly good tavern after a long day/week/month adventuring, specifically when asking whether to take the barmaid or the barman to bed for the night.

such matters of orientation can be explored in games more suited for them though, there are probably roleplaying games out there focused around romance, and whether your gay or not probably matters a lot more there than whether you can kill someone with a spell. mostly because DnD is not about relationships. for a gay character being gay to matter, character relationships have to be an important thing to the game, like a romance game or a politics game, those often run across it being important the most, particularly when feudalism and thus lords and bloodlines get involved. but DnD has never been about Game of thrones-esque politics.It will matter if the character is married to another man, especially if they're in the same adventuring party. It'll also matter if it's a group heavy into roleplay, such as in a more political campaign (which does happen, even if this isn't the best system for it). Sure, a character's orientation doesn't matter in a kick-in-the-orc-and-stab-the-door scenario, but D&D encompasses far more than that.

The name is cringeworthy, yes, but the issue with that has been expounded upon, understood, and internalized. The situation has changed to reflect that, and the purpose of the OP asking questions has served a bit more of its purpose. And that's why asking questions is a good thing (even if this one instance came up in a roundabout way).

[TheYell]

Well if you're going to create a sexual identity for your character I'd like to know why. Humor*? Romance? Eroticism? How do you expect the rest of the world to react to him? How's he going to maintain a relationship with a NPC not in the party?

When you have a definite idea what you're trying to do with a character, then put it to your table. You have seen some reactions here and some people may not want to explore your themes in their game.

It really comes down to, do you have something to say, and do the people you play with have any interest in hearing it.


*for instance if your bard is intrepid on the battlefield but totally henpecked at home. "What do you go off gallivanting with these hoodlums for when you have a home to come in to? I don't suppose you think of me for one minute? I slave away keeping up the homestead and you're off looking for treasure with a bunch of bums. SHUT UP! I'm not talking to you!-- What do you have to say for yourself? You know I hear about you being gone every day" etc etc.

[bean illus]

They're both masculine. That's literally what "gay" means..
That's not what it means to gay guys i know.


..... you don't see why people would make a big deal about someone making a gay guy with the last name of "Rainbow"?.

I know several homosexuals who took the name rainbow.

* To the original question: 80% of everyone is 'gay'. Look around you, and act like those people.

Then pick up a d20 and declare either a free, move, or a standard action, or a full action.

[Ruethgar]

I'm sorry I just had to say that you made me chuckle. You said bard and barbarian making me think of the bardbarians (https://youtu.be/4ZCIh_3b5K8?t=90) and bestowing/removing curse for sex change to be able to have a bardbarian(DMG multiclass lvl 1 rules) child of your own... before saying screw doing that again without pain killers. Healing magic and Elf Hazel be damned that **** hurts. Kind of pulls into question how a higher magic society would deal with sexuality if any level 5 priest or 7 wizard could just change sexes daily. But that's for another thread.

Honestly I wouldn't make a big deal of it unless the setting makes it a big deal, in which case it should probably be discussed with the whole group before hand whether they want to go down that rabbit hole. I think it should just be another character aspect and apart from maybe some minor side quest trouble sprinkled about shouldn't affect play significantly.

This kind of reminds me of a pirates of the Caribbean inspired game I was in where I and another player were both playing females as males ourselves but he was being very pushy about working it into everything, speaking in an exaggerated feminine voice, and acting generally sexist and well, the GM wasn't fond of that and targeted him with a little extra scrutiny and misogyny from the NPCs while I played it like a normal character(because duh) with the benefit of being able to sweet talk most men a little easier when we needed. So I suppose the moral is don't be overly pushy. Work in little things every now and then but don't make it a focus.

[NecroDancer]

My two sense is this: don’t make your sexuality a defining character trait (unless this is some sort of Book of Erotic Fantasy campaign). Just play your character like an actual character, with hopes, fears, personality. Don’t make them a caricature, it is not only offensive but also gets creepy (unless this is a BoEF campaign).

Also I feel like in most settings people wouldn’t care what sexuality someone is when you live in a world where dragon attacks are a thing.

[MaxiDuRaritry]

Or half-dragons, for that matter.