Things I May No Longer Do While Playing XII: A Thousand-Yard Stare is not Permission

[Lvl 2 Expert]

* I was forbidden from doing this with a girly limp wristed slap in Mutants and Masterminds. Despite being a girl with a strength of 0. And Time Manipulation powers.
** My characters favorite superhero series may not be The Continued Adventures Of Time Slapper.

[TeChameleon]

If the fate of the universe is ever resting on the outcome of a banjo-playing contest between a ten-year-old and the literal devil, something has gone horribly awry.

Well, obviously! You got the wrong instrument! :smalltongue:


** My characters favorite superhero series may not be The Continued Adventures Of Time Slapper.

..? (https://waitingforthet.tumblr.com/image/111166349615) (minor warning, brief nsfw language)

[Lord Raziere]

* May not counter a sonic-based instant kill gun based on resonance with a pogo-stick and have it make sense
** Especially while cosplaying as batman and the cosplay is the reason why I can pull out the pogo-stick

[Flyingbooks42]

*Worms do not have scales
**Not even if they breathe fire
***It's not a dragon or even a wyrm, it's just an overgrown, overheated worm!

*Pyrosomes may not be mutated by an orb of pure madness battling an orb of pure chaos
**If so, the individual zooids may not attack each other
***This may not be used as evidence for the existence of a nearby orb of pure madness
****If so, then A PLAYER MAY NOT THINK IT WAS AN ENCOUNTER AND SIMPLY KILL IT OFF WITH A LIGHTNING SPELL IN THE WATER

[danielxcutter]

*There has never been, isn't, and never will be a spell called Memeteor Swarm.
**What part of "never will be" did you not get?

[Anonymouswizard]

* The solution is not 'less Spiral Power'.

[TrashTrash]

* I may not cast a minor illusion to make it appear as though my lower jaw has been melted off my face in order to intimidate a tweaker into giving us the information the party needs.
** Especially after our winged Dragonborn has already grappled said tweaker and flown over 60 feet into the air with him to accomplish the same purpose.
*** Definitely do not do this in the exact same place your Dragonborn flew with the dude, since that will attract city guards and end with the whole party in jail.

* No more headbutting fellow party members for following me around.

* Never use Thaumaturgy to yell at a Great Mage to give us back our Cleric. The Cleric will intentionally stay longer and has a 50/50 chance of returning with a bag of magical cocaine for our Druid.

* Use another player's unconscious body as bait, a humanoid shield, a distraction, or a seat.

[dspeyer]

Another campaign, another post here...

* If the rulebook begins with the disclaimer "This is intended as a work of parody and should not be mistaken for a real roleplaying
game.", we will not play a year-long campaign of it.
** If it goes on to specify "Anyway, have fun, and don't take roleplaying too seriously!" I will not take my character too seriously.
*** Just because we've ignored the previous two bullet-points doesn't mean our goal is to break the DM's mind every session with things that belong on this thread.

* Just because we haven't seen a limit to an NPC's ability to duplicate bodies doesn't mean she can double 95 times and create a black hole
** There is no canon that ectoplasm is even subject to Fermi-Dyrac mechanics, much less specifics to calculate its degeneracy pressure from
*** I can't just hand-wave "probably less than neutronium"

* If the DM feels the need to obtain a physical hammer and put the word "ban" on it, we've gone too far
** No stealing and hiding the hammer while he writes on the masking tape

* In a roll-and-keep system, you should never roll a negative number of dice
** Especially not for *all* social skills
*** ::sigh:: If you must do this, roll and keep as if positive, then negate
**** No trying to antagonize someone, rolling negatively on the task, and using this to become friends
***** If your social skills are that bad, you probably shouldn't be organizing academic conferences

* Ontology does not follow the wave equation
** Even in the astral sea
*** No matter what the anatomy of space-whales would suggest

* Transformation spells do not have eigendecompositions

And from our recent one-shot:
* If a psionic power is limited in the weight of object it can effect, that does not make it vastly more powerful in microgravity.
** If our DM boasted about how this system isn't full of logical issues and holes, we should not spot this one in the very first session.

[Telok]

An oldie but a goodie,
A blast from the past,
It's been 25+ years since...

"I am not allowed to cast Chain Lightning underwater unless I have pre-paid, in full, on the resurrections."

[Flyingbooks42]

From an adventurer's league session:
*We may not capture the goldfish handler with an animated rope bridge.
**The party may not intimidate him using the aforesaid animated bridge and a necromancer with two blue skeletons
***The skeletons especially may not be called Oingo and Boingo
****We may not then kill alll of the prospective replacement goldfish and have the necromancer turn his familiar into a goldfish in order to have a spy.
*****We may not then follow him to the Xanathar's ship, sneak through the ship using the hide bonuses granted by some low-level spells, making even a roll of 1 be higher than the \perception of any creature on the ship, and steal what we came there to steal without fighting the Xanathar
******After that, we may not add insult to injury by unsummoning the familiar and having the Xanathar attack everything around him

[JAL_1138]

*May not point out that a trip to a Bass Pro or Cabela’s could have solved, like, 90% of the problems another party had in a monster-hunting scenario.

[Quizatzhaderac]

Made up events (as opposed to real pretend events)

*I may not base my barbarian around Thurston Howell III
**Thurston Howell Jr. and Sr. are not sufficiently different character concepts.
**When the DM said I could base my character around theprofessorandmaryann, she meant either, or perhaps as a character and a cohort, not as one gestalt.
*While a LBQT+ character is fine; the + does not include pyrophilia.
*I am not allowed to convince enemies to have a dance battle instead of an actual battle.
**The DM doesn't care about any historical precedent I can cite.
**If we lose, we can't abandon the main quest, even if I'm lawful, and even if I gave my word.
*My bard is not required to trash the room at the inn.
*My bard is not immune to explosions just because he's looking the other way.
*My bard may not start every personal story with "This one time, at bard camp?"
*My character may not speak in only "Groot".
*My Drowtales character can't have a human as an animal companion.
*My dwarf does not have a tunneling speed of half his walking speed.
*I do not need a special feat to put an item down without picking another up.
*While the city of Baltimore has character, it is not an appropriate character concept.
*The material component of the fireball spell is not 2 oz of cinnamon whiskey.
*I must pick my alignment from one of the nine standard options; I cannot be a non-utilitarian, virtuist, dentologist, anarchist.
*In some situations it's appropriate to kill a goblin on sight; this does not apply to PCs.
**This is especially inappropriate if it's not the first meeting.
*While it may be appropriate for my chaotic evil character to kill someone to take their possessions, I must first consider saying "please pass the salt.".
*Engaging the services of professional mediator automatically qualifies as "rules lawyering", professional title not withstanding.
*Druid circle meetings are not clothing optional.
*I am not allowed to posses any chemical that ignites water or sand.
**I am not allowed to trick the DM into banning hydrogen-hydroxide.
*My character with multiple personalities doesn't get two shares of XP.
*My character's alignment can't change every time I prepare spells.
*Yes, Superman is weak against pieces of the planet he his from. No, my human superhero can't be weak against pieces of the Earth.
*I may not base my character on anyone from Homestar Runner.
*A half orc is not to an orc what a halfling is to a human.
**A half orc is not human from the waist up, orc from the waist down.
**A half orc does not have one human head, one orc head.
*I am not to ask mermaids if they have human or fish genitals.
**No spot check, search check, or divination will resolve this.

As DM
*Most objects must be non-mimics
**The vast majority of floor tiles, ceilings, and walls can't be mimics.
**I'm not allowed to have a bunch of regular rooms, and than one room where the floor is just 100 mimics over a bottomless pit.
*If I do a Discworld setting, I must explicitly inform the players; I cannot pass it off as "generic fantasy".
*I must allow detect traps to find, not only intentionally built traps, but shoddy construction and industrial hazards.
*If I'm doing a barter economy, I must get player buy-in before hand.
**I should give the players some indication if the gold and silver they are gathering is worthless rather than waiting till they get to town and letting them discover they need to pay for the inn in rabbits skins.
**In a cyber-punk setting, it's theme breaking for the hotel to require payment in rabbit skins.
**I should put some mechanism to acquire rabbit skins into that game.

[Telok]

When DMing...
When a character insults the ork cyber-monk Elvis impersonater...
When said ork picks up the guy in heavy power armor and throws him at the insulting character...
When the thrown space marine hits him in the head for half his wounds...

I may not play the boot-to-the-head song and do a victory dance.

Someday I'm pretty sure I won't be allowed to say "The cyber-ninja T-rex full-autos the missile pods it's dual weilding.", but it won't be until the PCs go back and annoy the Cocaine Wizard Guild again.

[Duff]

*A half orc is not to an orc what a halfling is to a human.
**A half orc is not human from the waist up, orc from the waist down.
**A half orc does not have one human head, one orc head.

Miniature merfolk may not be half Ling

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_ling

[Lvl 2 Expert]

* The birds in my setting cannot all be great tits, brown boobies and bounty island shags.
** Yeah, but anyone could have added those Wikipedia pages.

[Mandark]

*May not randomly cast enlarge person on the gnome bard trying to get into the pants of a only body paint wearing druid/side spirit bear attendant
** Especially it you only cast it because the bard is a pc.
***That I haven't met yet in-game.
****Shrugging of his return spell will only make his revenge more creative
*****The fact that the bard woke up the next morning sore from a "fun"night with a strong bear-totem barbarian woman does not make it any better.

[Anonymouswizard]

*May not randomly cast enlarge person on the gnome bard trying to get into the pants of a only body paint wearing druid/side spirit bear attendant

** May not ask how the bard is going to wear said pants if they don't exist.
*** Must stop intentionally missing the point.

[Katrina]

"The cyber-ninja T-rex full-autos the missile pods it's dual weilding."

I can't get Ninja in there, but this sounds like just another caper for Cyberious Rex from the canon Mutants and Masterminds setting.

Also, glad everyone enjoyed Time Slapper.

From my new Changeling: The Lost game:
* The Storyteller is not comforted that i "can only roll once a day" when my Persuasion pool exceeds 12 dice.
* "I didn't combine this with Sympathetic" should not be a defense.
* "I'll make a viral video to frame this as a prank" should not be the first idea when trying to cover up the Werewolf's ill planned exorcism.
* Even with five successes, it won't really keep the cops from figuring it out. The Storyteller is obviously throwing the Werewolf a bone. I should not point it out ir make that joke again.

[Lord Raziere]

* I may not summon a Root Bear
** May not reshape a wood elemental into a bear form
*** May not transform myself into a Root Bear
**** Root beer doesn't even exist yet! No one would even get pun in this setting!
***** May not summon an army of Root Bears

[dspeyer]

*While a LBQT+ character is fine; the + does not include pyrophilia.


** Just because Half Fire Elemental is an inherited template that can be applied to any corporeal creature with an Int of at least 4 is no reason to conceive one in-game
*** Neither is any other inherited template

[NNescio]

* I may not summon a Root Bear
** May not reshape a wood elemental into a bear form
*** May not transform myself into a Root Bear
**** Root beer doesn't even exist yet! No one would even get pun in this setting!
***** May not summon an army of Root Bears

What if you take the Greenbound Summoning feat?

[Quizatzhaderac]

*I may not play a warforged bard with performance (techno)
*I may not player a summoner with no magic but high ranks in gather information and law
*When I have the only male character, I may not introduce the party as "My harem"
**Nor when I have the only female character
*I may not combine the spells permanency and time stop
*I may not cast darkness on the sun.
*If I realize the food is made out of people, I will inform the rest of the party before they eat.
* may not craft a hammer with a timestop effect... and a verbal trigger.

As DM
*I may not have the lawful payers face charges of Gnostical turpitude.
*If I crucify the giant mecha, the pilots will just exit and ignore the symbolism.
*I may not make enemy NPCs turn out to be the PC's alter egos
*I may not use more region references than words.


* As DM, may not make it so that one of the party members is the last of their race.
** This goes double when there are two members of the party of said race.
*** ESPECIALLY if they are male and female
****If they are same sex, I cannot do this and have every second encounter drop a belt of gender change.

[Segev]

****If they are same sex, I cannot do this and have every second encounter drop a belt of gender change.

*****It serves you right if both finally give in...and use a belt each.

[NNescio]

As DM
*I may not have the lawful payers face charges of Gnostical turpitude.
*If I crucify the giant mecha, the pilots will just exit and ignore the symbolism.
*I may not make enemy NPCs turn out to be the PC's alter egos
*I may not use more region references than words.

**As player I may not, in response to this, roll an Aasimar Sorcerer with metamagic cheese and call my souped-up Arcane Thesis'd Orb of Fire the "Cruel Angel's Thesis".

[Quizatzhaderac]

*My gunslinger with weapon proficiency (sling) is vetoed.
*perform (feet) will not let me perform any feats.
*Any spell that consumes "the material plane" as a reagent is vetoed.
*Containing large numbers of tables and charts does not make PMBoK is not a splatbook.
**We can tell you glued a half-naked picture of an elf over the cover.
***Half elves are allowed to be more than half dressed.
*I cannot use diplomacy on the gods to qualify for a different alignment.

**As player I may not, in response to this, roll an Aasimar Sorcerer with metamagic cheese and call my souped-up Arcane Thesis'd Orb of Fire the "Cruel Angel's Thesis".Sorry, the answer we were looking for was Xenogears. Xenogears.

[JAL_1138]

*No matter how high my skill bonus is, Groucho glasses are not an effective disguise.

[Anonymouswizard]

*No matter how high my skill bonus is, Groucho glasses are not an effective disguise.

** Despite real world precedent taking off my glasses does not give a +5 bonus to disguise rolls.

* Despite real world precedent I do not have to roll Search to find my glasses if I'm wearing my glasses.
** This applies to anything on my body.

[danielxcutter]

In 3.5e at least, glasses probably aren't enough to use Disguise anyways... I think. Probably the same for 5e - actually, can someone clarify? I wonder if someone with an epic bonus or whatever can get around that...

[Spore]

*I cannot take transmutation spells to "enhance" certain body parts.
** Enlarge/Reduce is NOT used like that.
*** You can't inspire your date to "do better"
**** Prestidigitation is NOT birth control.

[Telok]

I may not combine the hideous Xmas sweater vest, Hawiian shirt, pink twinkle light glasses, and tight leather kilt in order to demonstrate that making people's eyes bleed is a valid form of disguise.

I may not attempt anything involving the words "kilt", "regimental", and "flamethrower".

[Katrina]

* If my Changeling's Breaking Point is eating people because she was the mermaid who had to lure sailors to her Keeper's island for his feasts; I should not end up rolling Clarity every session. Unless my GM runs like its a Slasher flick.
* The Gm was annoyed that the one Session he took pains to make me not see a disfigured, eaten corpse, i had to roll due to the Fairest curse. Note, someone was still eaten this session, i just didn't witness it.

[danielxcutter]

* If my Changeling's Breaking Point is eating people because she was the mermaid who had to lure sailors to her Keeper's island for his feasts; I should not end up rolling Clarity every session. Unless my GM runs like its a Slasher flick.
* The Gm was annoyed that the one Session he took pains to make me not see a disfigured, eaten corpse, i had to roll due to the Fairest curse. Note, someone was still eaten this session, i just didn't witness it.

What game is this? Changeling the Lost?

[Katrina]

What game is this? Changeling the Lost?

Yeah. It was the Beta rules for 2nd, cause my gm didn't like second

[JAL_1138]

*May not constantly push back the start date of the campaign because I acquired four feral kittens that needed to be tamed, and that my adult cat doesn’t get along with.
**Especially can’t delay the start date for several months.
***At some point I need to start the game or cancel it.
****Five cats is a lot of cats.

[Anonymouswizard]

****Five cats is a lot of cats.

It is? :smallconfused:

[JAL_1138]

It is? :smallconfused:

When you’ve been used to only having one cat for years, and suddenly also get four hyperactive feral kittens that need tamed, it’s a lot of cats. I’ve got three of them friendly now and I’m working on the fourth. Mind you, I’m not looking to adopt any of them out or anything; I like the crazy little gremlins and I’m gonna keep them around. But they’re a handful.

[Telok]

* I may not train house cats to attack small children. Even if it is a level appropriate encounter by the CR rules the kid will not level up and spontaneously become potty trained.

[Anonymouswizard]

When you’ve been used to only having one cat for years, and suddenly also get four hyperactive feral kittens that need tamed, it’s a lot of cats. I’ve got three of them friendly now and I’m working on the fourth. Mind you, I’m not looking to adopt any of them out or anything; I like the crazy little gremlins and I’m gonna keep them around. But they’re a handful.

I mean, training four kittens at once might be a tad overboard, but five cats still sounds like a small number of cats to me.

And now I want a cat, wish I lived somewhere that would let me.

[JAL_1138]

* I may not train house cats to attack small children. Even if it is a level appropriate encounter by the CR rules the kid will not level up and spontaneously become potty trained.

Depending on the system and edition, housecats can do enough damage to one-round kill a first-level wizard or a commoner. The kid isn’t all that likely to survive, much less level up!

[Anonymouswizard]

Depending on the system and edition, housecats can do enough damage to one-round kill a first-level wizard or a commoner. The kid isn’t all that likely to survive, much less level up!

What if we train the cats to use the nonlethal damage rules? Then the children might survive an extra encounter or two.

[Telok]

Depending on the system and edition, housecats can do enough damage to one-round kill a first-level wizard or a commoner. The kid isn’t all that likely to survive, much less level up!

It's worse if it's a feral or wild cat. House cats did 1d2 bite, 1 pt. claws, possible 1d2 rake. Wild did 1d2 bite and two claws, plus two rakes of 1d2.

I had a character once whose backstory included being orphaned by kittens.

Even in 3.5 where they only do 1 damage total they're still a cr appropriate threat to single 1d4 hit die first levels.

[danielxcutter]

It's worse if it's a feral or wild cat. House cats did 1d2 bite, 1 pt. claws, possible 1d2 rake. Wild did 1d2 bite and two claws, plus two rakes of 1d2.

I had a character once whose backstory included being orphaned by kittens.

Even in 3.5 where they only do 1 damage total they're still a cr appropriate threat to single 1d4 hit die first levels.

Enough cats and you can probably take out 1st-level Warblades or even Barbarians, I bet!

[Rater202]

*If my power is an auto-rez due to eldritch ancestry, I can either get the obvious reference out of the way early or I can forfeit all right to so much as mention parkas.

[danielxcutter]

*If my power is an auto-rez due to eldritch ancestry, I can either get the obvious reference out of the way early or I can forfeit all right to so much as mention parkas.

I don’t get it. Which reference is this?

[Rater202]

I don’t get it. Which reference is this?

In the first couple of seasons of South Park, they had a Running Gag where the character Kenny McCormick would die violently, sometimes in a freak accident, sometimes in a manner tied into the plot, only to be alive again with no comment the next episode, in almost every episode. After the show toyed with killing him of permanently(a slow death from disease) and having him missing for a whole season(excepting shenanigans with his ghost towards the end,) they more or less retired the gag and now he only dies when it'd be plot-relevant or erve as the punchline for a particularly effective joke.

A few seasons later, they introduce a child vigilante named Mysterion, who later resurfaces, when the kids are all playing superheroes in a three-part episode, one of the names of which is the Cthulhu Trilogy, due to Cthulhu in all his glory playing a part. Mysterion is revealed to be Kenny in these episodes, which also reveals a few facts.

1: Kenny being alive again in later episodes isn't negative continuity, he canonically dies and comes back all the time as a form of immortality, but most people forget that he died.

2: Kenny's parents kept showing up to "cult" meetings because they gave out free booze, then got wasted, resulting in Ms. McCormick being selected to bare the "Spawn of Cthulhu" making Kenny Cthulhu's half-human son

3: Kenny's immortality, as well as several other eldritch powers he possesses but doesn't use much, are the result of his status as the Spawn of Cthulhu

Kenny is also known for his thick orange parka, which covers his mouth and muffles his speech.

So, for a character who automatically resurrects after death because of eldritch ancestry, Kenny is the obvious reference to make.

You either get it out of the way early on, or you give up all rigts to have your character wear a parka.

[danielxcutter]

Heh. Wasn’t he the bad guy in the first South Park game too? Or at least the final boss...

[JAL_1138]

*May gnot brigng back ogne of my 2e Planescape characters who actually survived for 5e’s Descegnt Ignto Avergnus module.
**Gno gnomes!

*Despite RL circumstances, cannot have “swarm of cats” as an animal companion.

*If the campaign requires characters to have a dark secret in their background—a conspiracy, a theft, a murder plot, or coup attempt—my character’s dark secret may not be “Theft: a sensory stone from the Sensate guildhall that records a really awkward moment from my character’s time in high school.”
**Especially if my character has never been a Sensate.
***Especially if my character has never been to Sigil.
****Especially if my character never went to high school.

*Cannot claim that sustenance tasting like ash in Avernus doesn’t bother my character since on the Prime Material he subsists largely on cigarettes, bad coffee from a greasy-spoon diner, said diner’s terrible attempts at cooking potatoes and bacon, and Scotch that tastes like kerosene anyway, so he hasn’t noticed it.

*In GURPS, may not buy 300 1-pt skills.
**May not sink all 300 points into guns instead.
***My character in a gritty cyberpunk campaign may not be a bunch of housecats in a trenchcoat.
****Must attempt to build a reasonable character.

[Guizonde]

*i cannot bypass a speech check solely because of my exposé on the merits of cooking with garlic.
**i cannot distract the dm to the point of shenanigans by doing an exposé on the merits of cooking with garlic.
***especially if only my character has actual knowledge of garlic and how to grow it.

*i cannot disrupt a serious conversation with potatoes.
**no, this character can't have a cousin named josé.
***potatoes are food, this time around. not projectiles.
****it is frowned upon to start food fights when in the presence of, like, ALL the tribal leaders.

*no matter how i phrase it, or how much garlic and potatoes i use, the dwarf character will take insanity points if i try to feed him human toes.

*my next character can't be named either "garlic" or "potato".

[JAL_1138]

*Despite what my cats have done to my nondenominational winter holiday tree in real life, a housecat cannot one-round a Treant.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Despite what my cats have done to my nondenominational winter holiday tree in real life, a housecat cannot one-round a Treant.

Awwwww, I just wanna pet it.

* May not release housecats into the wizards school to separate the strong from the weak.

* If I have the ability to shift to housecat form I am expected to use another form at some point.
** Shifting to cat form does not give a bonus when interrogating commoners.
*** It also doesn't give me a bonus to distraction attempts.
**** It doesn't matter how many points I have in diplomacy, I can't make people worship me by meowing.

[JAL_1138]

*My bard cannot take musical instrument proficiency in The Floppotron (https://youtu.be/ph5OW9p-GHM).

[Lord Torath]

*My bard cannot take musical instrument proficiency in The Floppotron (https://youtu.be/ph5OW9p-GHM).** No, not even if we're playing Shadowrun!

[Personification]

*Despite what my cats have done to my nondenominational winter holiday tree in real life, a housecat cannot one-round a Treant.

Of course not, by your implication in an earlier post, it would require a swarm of cats to mirror your RL experience and 1-round the treant.

[danielxcutter]

Of course not, by your implication in an earlier post, it would require a swarm of cats to mirror your RL experience and 1-round the treant.

To also slightly be a party pooper, Treants can, y’know... move.

[JAL_1138]

** No, not even if we're playing Shadowrun!

*May not Rickroll (https://youtu.be/63qtYi1nwcs) the Johnson instead of turning over the requested data.
**It’s still my fault if the Johnson doesn’t check it before they leave.
***I am obligated to speak up and inform them it’s a prank rather than a double-cross.
****May not subsequently send a bill for “life lessons.”
*****If I do the above knowing full well that the Johnson is an executive with a megacorp I may not complain when my character is summarily shot the next time we meet.

[Reltzik]

"Okay, so let's see. I get six attacks against you..."

"Okay...."

"And so with our respective modifiers... I need fives to hit... lemme just grab those dice..."

"Fives to hit?"

"Yeah."

"May the fours be wi-"

* No longer allowed to mix puns and Star Wars.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Even if the system allows me to have multiple animal companions, I cannot have a pride of lions following me everywhere.
** Or any other social group of animals.
*** Especially humans.
**** May no longer make the head of the unit my animal companion.

* Yes, the rules don't technically specify what animals I have as animal companions. This does not mean my selections can be 'tortoise, rabbit, chicken, and tiny tiger'.

* There are more uses for animal companion features than aquiring as many cats as possible.
** My cats are not worth more than my fellow party members.

[Anti-Eagle]

* May not in a game of Delta Green claim that Yithians are behind everything from Coffee Shops and Fluoridated Water to Terrorism.
** May not claim that Francis E. Decs wasn't conventionally insane and was in fact being harassed by Yithians.
*** In Delta Green.
**** In Other Games.
***** In Real Life.

[noob]

* There are more uses for animal companion features than aquiring as many cats as possible.
** My cats are not worth more than my fellow party members.
*** Please nerf human companions: they have the brilliant idea to become your slaves.

[JAL_1138]

*The tabaxi does not need to wear the cone of shame after the cleric heals them.

[Lord Torath]

*The tabaxi does not need to wear the cone of shame after the cleric heals them.**The tabaxi does not need to wear the cone of shame before the cleric heals them, either.
*** Unless they've actually done something shameful.
**** Getting wounded in combat is not generally considered 'shameful'.
***** Abandoning the party in the middle of combat to chase a red dot does merit the wearing of the Cone of Shame.

* Despite their existence in miniature, I may not put a bayonet on the end of my chainsword.

[John Campbell]

* Even if the system allows me to have multiple animal companions, I cannot have a pride of lions following me everywhere.
** Or any other social group of animals.

*** My dire wolf animal companion is not allowed to take the Leadership feat.

[Telok]

* I may no longer giggle while trying to get the PCs to snort warpstone like cocaine.

** I am no longer allowed to call the Cocaine Wizards Guild a "rational, civic minded, group of business folks".

*** Mind flayers are no longer to be referred to as "warm hearted, tentacley, cuddle buddies".

[Arkalidror]

* May not brutally murder elves by stabbing them in the jugular with a fountain pen.

No, I did not do this personally.

[SirBellias]

From my last game (a simpler romp):

May no longer determine if the newly acquired basilisk-hag minion still can petrify people with a gaze by staring deeply into her eyes.

May no longer let the party create their own plan for capturing a spy in town, have them come up with three different plans from around the table, not discuss in character or out of character what to do (while they had full opportunity to), then attempt 3 different kidnappings at once while incurring property damages in the thousands of gold and one player character death along with the spy. There must be at least 2 player character deaths next time.

The Sled of Far Traveling was for conveniently getting from place to place quickly. May no longer use it to bypass half the encounters (or in busy marketplaces).

From a friends game:

May no longer have the character with 20 intelligence and 18 wisdom, upon joining the church of a god of reasonable undeath that requires the removal of an organ to join, attempt to remove his own brain with a gutting knife.

May no longer have the same character start out the heist session by telling the leader of the temple we were robbing about the heist, while in full regalia of a rival god that was laying low about how much they hated the target.

May no longer have the same character, upon being caught with the book that explains where/how to get the object of the heist, tell his captors that he has the book and just found it on the side of the road.

May no longer, once the same character came back to a town in high alert due to an "attack by a rival god" in a golem body he made as a backup clone, as the dragon ruler of the temple was screaming the name of the rival while circling the city in rage, start his first conversation in a bar full of frightened peasants with "So I just met rival god and he's not very happy with me now that I messed up his relationship with Bahamut."

May no longer start a planar war over something that was supposed to just get dug out of the latrine and be done with.

(Not my character, luckily)

[LordCdrMilitant]

On behalf of my players:
*When setting the timer on the 100kt suitcase bomb, the timer must not be set for less than the time it takes to escape the lethal radius.

[JAL_1138]

*Despite precedent, my Cleric does not have to consult the Book of Armaments to identify an item.

*Despite real-world precedent, groups of cats do not automatically prevent the PCs from taking a Long Rest.

[Quizatzhaderac]

* Despite precedent, a game of D&D is not a common law court and is not bound to follow precedent
* An in-game court is not to be construed to follow English common law unless the setting is a post medieval common law country.
* Yes, Australia is a modern common law nation, and an expectation of common law from the regular human courts is reasonable. A court run by literal kangaroos, however, shall be construed as being completely uncommon and unreasonable.
* "Construe" is not the Australian term for using the bathroom.
* Or the toilet or the lou or the dun

[Rater202]

I may not describe a character as reading Also Sprach Zarathustra while listening to Also Sprach Zarathustra in the hopes of triggering a Who's on first style comedy bit.

[ZhaunTheScribe]

* Applying chemical knowledge to RP your alchemist is great flavor
** Bridging a few gaps in knowledge and processability with semi-magical hubbub is viable
*** You are NOT creating nonmagical alchemical weapons stronger than the ones in the PHB for a fraction of the price, rivalling Fireballs in damage!
**** You cannot mope if the engineer at the table can suddenly build functional gliding planes who are propelled by bound air elementals.
***** This is how magepunk happens. You ruined a perfectly good medieval setting. Are you happy?
****** NUCLEAR REACTORS MADE OUT OF FORCE WALLS?! ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?

I love it when chemists and engineers "ruin" my games.

[Reltzik]

* No longer allowed to create an open question of whether I get the party killed first or the party kills me first.
** "I'm just role-playing my low Int stat" isn't a good reason.
*** A low Wis stat wouldn't count, either.
**** Nor would a low Cha stat.
***** No longer allowed to dump all mental stats.
****** No, I'm not being told that I'm not allowed to dump all mental stats simultaneously. I'm being told that all mental stats are stats that I'm not allowed to dump.
******* Three wrongs do not make a right!
******** Yes, okay, technically the DM did say that ban wasn't about dumping all three simultaneously....
********* NO CREDITING THE DM FOR THAT ABOMINATION!

(Is it wrong that I see dumping a mental stat as less an exercise in min-maxing and more as a way of driving the rest of the table nutters?)

[dmteeter]

*13 year old overweight asthmatic kid who is obsessed with Japanese anime should not be the description of the main villain in my mutants and masterminds campaign.
* He should not call himself the Animaster
* Using his power to steal limited edition manga's and anime DVDs is a huge misuse of his power
* If at any point the party has to fight a summoned version of Itachi , All Might, Grimmjow, Luffy, Toguro, Meliodas,Or Saitama they will not be happy.
*all of the above is not considered a balanced encounter at any power level
* The party now has anime induced PTSD

[Anonymouswizard]

*13 year old overweight asthmatic kid who is obsessed with Japanese anime should not be the description of the main villain in my mutants and masterminds campaign.
* He should not call himself the Animaster

While I can't repeat the name I used, one of the villains of an Unknown Armies campaign I attempted to run gained magical power via being obsessed with Japanese media. The catch was that their powers weren't based on Japanese media, Japanese culture, or anything like that, but rather misconceptions about such things.

So in Unknown Armies melee weapons are statted by the questions of are they big, are they heavy, and are they sharp, with each giving a +3 to their damage. The group had agreed that katana, as well as by extention English Longswords/bastard swords didn't qualify for heavy and so only gave a +6 (normally they'd give the full +9, we didn't want that). This character had two katana-based spells, one of which made them +12 weapons (+3 big, +3 heavy, +3 sharp, +3 folded steel) and the other one allowed them to deflect bullets with, and only with, a katana. While there were some other things they could do those ended up being the only ones actually statted out. I believe there was some politeness-based stuff that nearly came up, but I've forgotten the rest.

The only reason the entire thing worked at all was that the group was entirely made up of anime fans, half of who had tried learning Japanese at one point, and so was more laughing at ourselves more than anything. Also the fact that one player was a Dipsomancer and another a Narco-Alchemist, so half the party was perpetually drunk or high anyway.

[Lord Raziere]

*I shall not curse all pedants to one day suffer pedantry over something they love in revenge for pedantry making me suffer.

*May not suggest that Dragon-Blooded are using their essence sub-optimally by emulating how the solars do it and that they could be better if they used more physical elemental bending stuff.

* I am not the queen of goats.

[danielxcutter]

*I shall not curse all pedants to one day suffer pedantry over something they love in revenge for pedantry making me suffer.

*May not suggest that Dragon-Blooded are using their essence sub-optimally by emulating how the solars do it and that they could be better if they used more physical elemental bending stuff.

* I am not the queen of goats.

You've goat to be kidding me!

[Telok]

* Discovering the depths of the depravity to which the players will sink is not the goal of the game.

** It would be nice if the players would question why and how the mind flayers are bankrolling them, their rather expensive starship, and a small army.

[danielxcutter]

* Discovering the depths of the depravity to which the players will sink is not the goal of the game.

** It would be nice if the players would question why and how the mind flayers are bankrolling them, their rather expensive starship, and a small army.

There was a Darklord from Ravenholm who had a similar backstory, I think. Well, specifically that he sold his people over to them or something.

[Lord Raziere]

* I am not to say that DnD is "Fantasy For Physicists"
** Exalted is not "Fantasy For Anthropologists"
*** Planescape is not "Fantasy For Philosophers"
**** Mage the Ascension is not "Fantasy For Subjectivists"
***** Mage the Awakening IS "Fantasy for Platonic Philosophers" though. No one denies that.
****** Dungeons the Dragoning is not "Fantasy for People who love memes"
******* Fate is not "Fantasy for Amateur Movie Makers"
******** Shadowrun is not "Fantasy For Accountants"
********* People who play things made by Jenna Moran are not Fair Folk in disguise.
********** Nor is Jenna Moran herself a Fae from Arcadia capable of weaving rpgs out of dreams and gossamer.

[Katrina]

* on the subject of parody villians, you should also not put that same otaku kid in a trenchcoat and fedora, give him the ability to form metal structures out of the nanites in his blood, and call him Ken Tenshi. ( a poor attempt at blade angel. )

* On a more serious note, i am apparently not supposed to use foreshadowing, subtle escalation and callouts in my storytelling.
* Villains must have obvious and clear motives and plans.
* The villain described as a borderline sociopath with mind control is no longer allowed to be subtle.
* The bully with the terrible backstory will apparently be maimed and left in the school pool if he keeps up his current ways...
* Even while the party wonders what they should do about said mind controller...
* Not like they've seen the bully demonstrate obvious cognitive disconnects like saying on week two he doesn't hit women, then doing so in week five...

* Especially not when there is a Psychic telepath in the party. (>.>)'

[Personification]

* After a month-long break, it is considered rude to point out the time that has passed.

[Lord Raziere]

* Not allowed to kill the captain of the guard for standing in the way of my OTP
** may no longer protest the marriage practices of the city I live in, no matter how unjust
*** may no longer burn an entire country to the ground because its filled with vampires and werewolves, no matter how sane the action is
**** my first action when I encounter a mushroom forest full of corpse zombies grow more mushrooms may not be to burn it down to keep it from spreading
***** when the authorities break the rules for me, I should be immediately suspicious and may not accept it as helpful.
****** may not point out that the romances all look awfully similar in how the play out.
******* may not point out the hypocrisy in one noble girl being able to escape her responsibilities while another is pushed into being bound by them
******** or one guy forcing marriage on the first girl being treated as a jerk while another forcing marriage on a second girl is treated as a decent guy
********* may not point out the last time a human cleric fell in love with an orc it was out of nowhere and made no sense

[Telok]

When I 3d print and paint custom minis I may no longer sneak in the fact that while the space pirate walrus is wearing force-field light armor, it is not wearing clothing.

Even if it does show of his gorgeous, blubbery, blue and red tiger striped physique.

Edit: Absolutelu no oosik allowed.

[Guizonde]

*not allowed to crush the hopes of the pc's before session one.
**during or after session one is fair game.

*if for some reason, a pc tames an animal or otherwise gets a pet, must not instinctively try to figure out how i can corrupt it so it eats both the pc and their enemies.

*"pookie" is not an appropriate name for a bobcat-sized rat.

[Rater202]

I need to make at least one PC whose gimmick isn't either being a hybrid of a bunch of things or becoming a hybrid of a bunch of things.

[HeraldOfExius]

* Even though we could find buyers for our regular houses that we just kept stabled for the past 7 levels, I am not able to spend a month of downtime using every spell slot I have to cast Mount in order to sell people large quantities of horses that will disappear in 18 hours.
** Even if I could do that, all potential buyers would recognize what was happening after the first day.
*** Casting Disguise Self to look like a new person each time I did this would not help at all.
**** Neither would stealing a couple of real horses each day and blaming the mass disappearances on thieves instead of magically conjured temporary horses.

[Wookieetank]

From an ongoing VtM game, where my character was a medic turned vampire:

*Having a vehicle kill count, while entertaining, does not count for much.
**Doublely so when they've all been by explosion
***Adding buildings to the list doesn't make it better.
****A whole city block is just overkill, even if it was by accident.
*****You do know vampires are supposed to be afraid of fire right?
******You know what? Fine, you're now deranged with a fire obsession.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I need to make at least one PC whose gimmick isn't either being a hybrid of a bunch of things or becoming a hybrid of a bunch of things.

* Okay, okay, you can play a hybrid again. Stop with the pureblood forest gnome pride thing already.

[Tohron]

* okay, okay, you can play a hybrid again. Stop with the pureblood forest gnome pride thing already.

***************Gno gnomes!

[danielxcutter]

***************Gno gnomes!

...You know, if anything I'd imagine elves being banned for being insufferably smug, but I guess players always get even weirder than that.

[Lord Raziere]

...You know, if anything I'd imagine elves being banned for being insufferably smug, but I guess players always get even weirder than that.

* Not allowed to make an elf that isn't insufferably smug and is actually as free and happy as the PHB books claim them to be.
** nor can they be an elven waitress from a random inn who couldn't get a better job because of the stratified long-lived nature of elven society (do you REALIZE how hard it is to get a job in a society where everyone lives to 700?) but ran away and is now pretending to be an undercover elven princess to fool gullible humans
*** may not try to make fun of elf tropes.

[Telok]

* I may no longer inflict nightmare fuel on the DM and NPCs by having my character ask the NPCs out on a date.

** I may no longer use gecko foot implants and chamelion skin bioware for sexual innuendo.

*** I was never even allowed to as for a psychic damage roll despite other players holding their heads and moaning.

**** The space pirate walrus is no longer allowed to proposition the ancient evil hag coven. Even if it gets us the artifact without a fight.

[danielxcutter]

* I may no longer inflict nightmare fuel on the DM and NPCs by having my character ask the NPCs out on a date.

** I may no longer use gecko foot implants and chamelion skin bioware for sexual innuendo.

*** I was never even allowed to as for a psychic damage roll despite other players holding their heads and moaning.

**** The space pirate walrus is no longer allowed to proposition the ancient evil hag coven. Even if it gets us the artifact without a fight.

...Is this entirely hypothetical or are there settings that let that last one actually happen? Without homebrew.

[Anonymouswizard]

***************Gno gnomes!

* May gnot let jokes die, apparently.

[Kelb_Panthera]

...Is this entirely hypothetical or are there settings that let that last one actually happen? Without homebrew.

Sounds like spell-jammer. I know they have space pirates and hippo people. I'm not 100% sure about walrus folk but between the hippos, the giant hamsters, and a couple other ones I've heard, I wouldn't bat an eye.

[Telok]

Sounds like spell-jammer. I know they have space pirates and hippo people. I'm not 100% sure about walrus folk but between the hippos, the giant hamsters, and a couple other ones I've heard, I wouldn't bat an eye.

Nah, it's Pazio's Starfinder. Space fantasy with a little techno-babble thrown on top. The system is... acceptable. They "got the balance math right", meaning that your success rate at anything remains about the same at all levels, fights remain about the same at all levels, classes can't stray too far from their archtype without suffering total competence failure, etc., etc.

The system is balanced enough that all fun and entertainment comes from the players and DM being good enough to work outside it. Plus the plethora of weird races (nothing changes the way any rules work, e.g. stuff without legs can install cyber leg augments and get land speed boosts) tends, in my view, to lend itself to a sort of 'Star Wars cantina if it were run by Laurel and Hardy in a SNL skit' vibe.

[BisectedBrioche]

I may not joke about sneaking "Weapon Proficient (Snowballs)" onto my character's sheet because the DM joked about dragons being weak to snowballs while playing Spryo.

Namely, because he allowed it on the basis my character has multiple siblings and lives in a snowy area.

[Personification]

I may not joke about sneaking "Weapon Proficient (Snowballs)" onto my character's sheet because the DM joked about dragons being weak to snowballs while playing Spryo.

Namely, because he allowed it on the basis my character has multiple siblings and lives in a snowy area.

:belkar: "See, your first mistake was getting into a fight with a halfling in the snow. We literally have bonuses for this!"

[Kelb_Panthera]

Nah, it's Pazio's Starfinder. Space fantasy with a little techno-babble thrown on top. The system is... acceptable. They "got the balance math right", meaning that your success rate at anything remains about the same at all levels, fights remain about the same at all levels, classes can't stray too far from their archtype without suffering total competence failure, etc., etc.

The system is balanced enough that all fun and entertainment comes from the players and DM being good enough to work outside it. Plus the plethora of weird races (nothing changes the way any rules work, e.g. stuff without legs can install cyber leg augments and get land speed boosts) tends, in my view, to lend itself to a sort of 'Star Wars cantina if it were run by Laurel and Hardy in a SNL skit' vibe.

So... spelljammer but worse then?

[danielxcutter]

So... spelljammer but worse then?

Hmm, does Spelljammer have any 3.5e updates, now that I think of it?

[Lord Torath]

Sounds like spell-jammer. I know they have space pirates and hippo people. I'm not 100% sure about walrus folk but between the hippos, the giant hamsters, and a couple other ones I've heard, I wouldn't bat an eye.Walrus folk are called Thanoi and are from Dragonlance's Krynn's southern polar regions.


Hmm, does Spelljammer have any 3.5e updates, now that I think of it?Not officially. Or possibly Kinda Sorta. Here's the 'official" Spelljammer Website: Beyond the Moons (http://www.spelljammer.org/). Big Mac has a 3.5 Spelljammer conversion project over at The Piazza (http://www.thepiazza.org.uk/bb/viewforum.php?f=49).

* I may not take advantage of the GM's unfamiliarity with Dark Sun and the Gold Piece/Ceramic Piece exchange rate to start with 40,000 cp worth of gems by using 400 of my 500 gp of starting funds to buy them on Athas instead of Sigil.
** I may not use said gems to start with receptacles that can hold 400 extra Psionic Strength Points at level 5.
*** I may not constantly make jokes about how Sigil rhymes with 'giggle'.
**** Where else would Giggles the Clown live?
*****May not compare the relative power of Giggles and the Lady of Pain.

[Guizonde]

*when a player tells me he's an ex-con, must not immediately tell him it's for a record-breaking amount of traffic violations.
**said player can't also be the only one with the skills to drive land and air vehicles.

*must not create a backup pc that is a judge dredd expy just because i know players will get maimed.
**doubly so if it's to make a double "i am the law" quip.
***while the arbites and the inquisition are both the authorities, that doesn't make it so an arbites inquisitorial goon is double the law.

*no, rolling two critical fails in a row during a discussion doesn't mean the npc's barf instead of speak.
**even worse when it's two different npc's.

*toasters don't give seductive looks to tech-priests.

*tech-priests don't get aroused seeing purity seals on the electrical cabinet.

*the slogan "welcome to the arbites, here's your scowl and shotgun", while accurate, doesn't exist.

*bureaucrats are not sleep deprived suicidal wrecks by default.

*obese businessmen are not always sleazy macho pigs.
**even if they're a blatant rip-off of dominic strauss-kahn. that'd be insulting to sleazy macho pigs.

*while technically there's always a happy hour going somewhere on the planet, the pc has just missed it.

*while there's a precedent for it, shovels are not the be all, end all solution to problems.

*no, a shovel is not part of regimental dress uniforms.

*must not make a mind-reader ask for brain bleach again.

[LordCdrMilitant]

So... spelljammer but worse then?

That would be an accomplishment. Is it at least sci-fi?


*when a player tells me he's an ex-con, must not immediately tell him it's for a record-breaking amount of traffic violations.
**said player can't also be the only one with the skills to drive land and air vehicles.

*must not create a backup pc that is a judge dredd expy just because i know players will get maimed.
**doubly so if it's to make a double "i am the law" quip.
***while the arbites and the inquisition are both the authorities, that doesn't make it so an arbites inquisitorial goon is double the law.

*no, rolling two critical fails in a row during a discussion doesn't mean the npc's barf instead of speak.
**even worse when it's two different npc's.

*toasters don't give seductive looks to tech-priests.

*tech-priests don't get aroused seeing purity seals on the electrical cabinet.

*the slogan "welcome to the arbites, here's your scowl and shotgun", while accurate, doesn't exist.

*bureaucrats are not sleep deprived suicidal wrecks by default.

*obese businessmen are not always sleazy macho pigs.
**even if they're a blatant rip-off of dominic strauss-kahn. that'd be insulting to sleazy macho pigs.

*while technically there's always a happy hour going somewhere on the planet, the pc has just missed it.

*while there's a precedent for it, shovels are not the be all, end all solution to problems.

*no, a shovel is not part of regimental dress uniforms.

*must not make a mind-reader ask for brain bleach again.

Shovels are absolutely part of your regimental dress uniform. Not being in possession of every one of your issued pieces of kit maintained to the standard when you received it is indicative of laxity and lack of commitment, and grounds for summary execution!



From my own 40k games:

*A Keeper of Secrets is not the "vore daemon".
**Yes, daemons do eat people. This should not be demonstrated during campaign.
***The Keeper of Secrets should definitely not eat a player character [even if the player wanted to make a new character anyway].
****And especially should not burp afterwords and pat their stomach.
*****One instance of vore in a campaign is one instance too many. Seriously, twice?

[Rater202]

*To reiterate: If the open and unrepentant cannibal is one of the good guys, there's a problem.
** If your backstory, goals, and powers are the same as a Conan the Barbarian villain, he can't be a superhero.

[Telok]

That would be an accomplishment. Is it at least sci-fi?

Ever had someone offer you a baked potato then drop a glob of runny, doesn't-smell-quite-right, "how long has that been sitting out?" sour cream on top of it?

Starfinder is sort of like that. It's a kind of Pathfinder in space with a veneer of techno babble, a Red Queen's Race character advancement, and someone tacked on a "space dog fight" game written by someone whose only exposure to space anything was a 1980s Buck Rogers B-movie.

Related:
* At some point people will stop letting me squeeze more sillyness out of 'serious' games than you can get from a mash-up of Toon, Paranoia, and Rifts.
** The glow in the dark, 3d printed plaque on my gaming box that says "Balance is my b*" is in bad taste.

[Kelb_Panthera]

Hmm, does Spelljammer have any 3.5e updates, now that I think of it?

There was an article or two in dragon and you can extract some of the bits that were sprinkled around in 1st party sources but, no, I don't think it was ever given a proper, first party update. Just some third party stuff.


That would be an accomplishment. Is it at least sci-fi?

Spelljammer? More of a fantasy sci-fi blend. It doesn't really do the whole techno-babble "we're in space" thing but it's about as close as anything ever got in official D&D stuff, outside of using the d20 modern/future system.

Starfinder? I guess? I'm only just barely aware of it so I can't tell anyone much about it.

[Rater202]

In my first ever D&D game, a planer jaunt to rescue some party members who came down on the wrong side of a Deck of many things ended with us being flown from a lower plane to our home reality through the Astral plane in a spider-shaped ship crewed by drow pirates and the ship was powered by a one of those control rods that let you control a sphere of annihilation, which we had to provide by making a deal with a Black Dragon who were were told was actually a God and not a dragon but who insisted that he was just a dragon despite his ability to intercept and twist a Wish spell (My wish of "I wish I could emulate a dragon's breath weapon with my Warshaper abilities so I can fight off these trolls who are kicking out asses and wrecking the hub town" became "break whatever enchantment is keeping this particular dragon from accessing the material plane and summon him here so he can kill the trolls for us") and I'm to this day pretty damn sure was actually Falazure in disguise.

During the journey, we stopped at a colony built into a giant stone head that was just floating in the Astral plane, we fought a bunch of eal-bug-turtle things, and our final arrival at home resulted in us being dropped off in a scene that was described to us as being akin to a space ship coming out of the sky.

I was told that this was typical spelljammer.

Anyway, Tax: If I'm going t artificially graft other people's unique genetic abilities to myself, I need to settle on how before the game starts.

[LordCdrMilitant]

There was an article or two in dragon and you can extract some of the bits that were sprinkled around in 1st party sources but, no, I don't think it was ever given a proper, first party update. Just some third party stuff.

Spelljammer? More of a fantasy sci-fi blend. It doesn't really do the whole techno-babble "we're in space" thing but it's about as close as anything ever got in official D&D stuff, outside of using the d20 modern/future system.

Starfinder? I guess? I'm only just barely aware of it so I can't tell anyone much about it.

I know what spelljammer is. I dislike it intensely and it's crystal sphere and phlogiston and stuff.

[danielxcutter]

I know what spelljammer is. I dislike it intensely and it's crystal sphere and phlogiston and stuff.

Care to elaborate on that? I've met people who like it because it's not the same old traditional D&D fantasy setting like Greyhawk or Forgotten Realms.

[Lord Torath]

Care to elaborate on that? I've met people who like it because it's not the same old traditional D&D fantasy setting like Greyhawk or Forgotten Realms.Some people seem to be really "offended" by the Spelljammer version of Space. It's really not Science Fiction, and it explicitly doesn't try to be. About the only thing it gets right is the scale of interplanetary (but not interstellar) distances. Orbital Mechanics? No, things orbit just because. If they orbit, that is. They may be carried on the backs of ginormous elephants standing on the shell of an even larger turtle. Or they may be suspended from branches of an immense tree. Newton's laws of motion? Yeah, they apply fairly well on the small (human) scale, but not on the large scale - sort of like how in real life we need Relativity to properly explain things on larger scales.

Personally, I rather like like it. Krynn, for example, couldn't exist anywhere in our universe. The constellations that re-arrange themselves are made up of stars that would have to move many times faster than the speed of light if they were at 'standard' interstellar distances from the Krynn system. Having the stars be lights on the surface of the crystal sphere that encloses Krynn and its solar system easily eliminates that issue.

And since you can have different rules in different crystal spheres, you can accommodate the uniqueness of each setting without requiring them to affect other settings. Heck, you could even have a crystal sphere 200 billion light-years across that encloses the visible universe and operates according to the laws of General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. Or one about the same size that has an alternate dimension where daemons live and that psykers can access to manifest 'magical' powers, and even use to move ships quickly to the other side of the galaxy, and where one race of fungus men can make things go faster by painting them red.

But it's definitely not for everyone.

[GigaGuess]

* If I can't stop giggling long enough to explain what I'm doing, it is not allowed.

[Robert's Dragon]

*I am not allowed to use divine smite and eldritch smite on the same attack.
**Nor may I use thunderous smite on top of that 'just for fun'
***Adding booming blade to the combo is also not allowed, even if it adds a nice full sound

[LordCdrMilitant]

Care to elaborate on that? I've met people who like it because it's not the same old traditional D&D fantasy setting like Greyhawk or Forgotten Realms.

I play space games to have greebled polyhedrons and laser guns and power suits and tanks and VTOL gunships and stuff that is cool, not some idea of beyond-antiquated medieval era crystal spheres and fire-is-the-phlogiston-leaving-the-object and squid monsters.

It's anathema to me because I feel like it implicitly says "you like the future and space and worlds of technology and the artifice of man, but wouldn't it be more awesome if it wasn't space and the future and worlds of technology and the artifice of man."

[Anonymouswizard]

I play space games to have greebled polyhedrons and laser guns and power suits and tanks and VTOL gunships and stuff that is cool, not some idea of beyond-antiquated medieval era crystal spheres and fire-is-the-phlogiston-leaving-the-object and squid monsters.

It's anathema to me because I feel like it implicitly says "you like the future and space and worlds of technology and the artifice of man, but wouldn't it be more awesome if it wasn't space and the future and worlds of technology and the artifice of man."

Honestly, this is why I get disappointed when space games essentially rehash what you see in Star Wars or Star Trek again, instead of either going back and taking stuff from the classic era of science fiction (atomic rockets!) or more modern ideas, and why 'spaceships have a speed right' really annoys me.

Heck, I'll take removal of some elements I find cool in exchange for more focus on other elements, bit I want to play around with stuff from the science fiction stories in reading.

[danielxcutter]

*I am not allowed to use divine smite and eldritch smite on the same attack.
**Nor may I use thunderous smite on top of that 'just for fun'
***Adding booming blade to the combo is also not allowed, even if it adds a nice full sound

I'm like 99% sure that you actually can't stack all of those, because at least a few of them use your reaction (or whatever the 5e counterpart for 3.5e swift actions was)?

Re: space - To be fair, Spelljammer isn't really sci-fi, it's more like D&D in space with a smidgen of sci-fi thrown in for flavor. I would imagine the main pull of that setting is having the same basic gameplay framework while feeling sufficiently divergent from the standard fantasy setting.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not make a steampunk or alchemy punk setting in space, apparently
** May not ponder alternate universes where phlogiston turned out to be real
*** or the luminiferous Aether
**** seeing how an alternate outdated theory would not work to better understand the systems that do apparently isn't cool

* may not make a setting where people actually discovered the philosopher's stone and started making rulers immortal during the 16th century.
** May not make Napoleon become a sorcerer and rule half the world as emperor in this setting

* My Dark heresy character cannot be an Arbitrator who is a good person and genuinely wants to reform the system to more effectively enact justice
** The fact that this makes them a radical member of the inquisition by default speaks volumes of what a good person in 40k actually is
*** Nor can my characters all assume that the Emperor is just a symbolic figure for the collective good the Imperium that doesn't actually exist but everyone uses as shorthand and just never tells anyone this heretical view unless asked
**** May not figure out ways to make decent people in WH40k.

[Guizonde]

Shovels are absolutely part of your regimental dress uniform. Not being in possession of every one of your issued pieces of kit maintained to the standard when you received it is indicative of laxity and lack of commitment, and grounds for summary execution!


i meant dress uniform as in all the bling and medals, not the battle uniform, in which case you are right. my group's medic tried to wear his number one dress uniform with a laspistol holstered and on the other side of the belt his trusty 970 instead of a ceremonial dagger. as a dm, i had to politely tell him that's not how dress uniforms work.

[Galithar]

I'm like 99% sure that you actually can't stack all of those, because at least a few of them use your reaction (or whatever the 5e counterpart for 3.5e swift actions was)?


You absolutely can stack them. Thunderimg smite is s bonus action spell cast before the attack, Booming Blade is the action, and Divine and Eldritch Smite can be used any time you hit with a melee attack made with your pact weapon. It's quite easy to use them all.

Bonus points if you get an ally to use the Grave Cleric 'Path to the Grave' ability to give them vulnerability to that mass of d8s you're about to roll.

*I may be longer use the above combo paired with the Diviner wizards nat 20 Portent to guarantee a one shot kill on any creature in the monster manual.

[danielxcutter]

You absolutely can stack them. Thunderimg smite is s bonus action spell cast before the attack, Booming Blade is the action, and Divine and Eldritch Smite can be used any time you hit with a melee attack made with your pact weapon. It's quite easy to use them all.

Bonus points if you get an ally to use the Grave Cleric 'Path to the Grave' ability to give them vulnerability to that mass of d8s you're about to roll.

*I may be longer use the above combo paired with the Diviner wizards nat 20 Portent to guarantee a one shot kill on any creature in the monster manual.

Oh, sweet. That does burn... all your spell slots, I think? Still, Hexblades do have other things besides spells to use.

[Galithar]

Oh, sweet. That does burn... all your spell slots, I think? Still, Hexblades do have other things besides spells to use.

Probably, but with some high level multiclassing you can have more slots. It's definitely not fully optimized to do. This isn't exactly the right thread for Warlock/Paladin/Sorcerer theory crafting though haha

[danielxcutter]

Probably, but with some high level multiclassing you can have more slots. It's definitely not fully optimized to do. This isn't exactly the right thread for Warlock/Paladin/Sorcerer theory crafting though haha

Hexblades are pretty good at "THIS GUY MUST DIE NOW" either way, to be honest.

[DeTess]

i meant dress uniform as in all the bling and medals, not the battle uniform, in which case you are right. my group's medic tried to wear his number one dress uniform with a laspistol holstered and on the other side of the belt his trusty 970 instead of a ceremonial dagger. as a dm, i had to politely tell him that's not how dress uniforms work.

I mean, it's 40k, right? There must be at least a dozen regiments where the shovel is part if their dress uniform for some odd reason.

[Telok]

I mean, it's 40k, right? There must be at least a dozen refiments where the shovel is part if their dress unifirm for some odd reason.

"If the penal battalions get to carry explosives as part of their uniform, why can't I carry my laz cannon?"
- Every PC ever

[Guizonde]

"If the penal battalions get to carry explosives as part of their uniform, why can't I carry my laz cannon?"
- Every PC ever

"if all you got is a shotgun, everything starts to look dead". wish i could remember who posted this quote here (maybe digodragon?), but it's apt.

*may not tell the players i have a good surprise for them, followed by manic cackling.
**doubly so if it's a very clear benefit to the team.

[Anonymouswizard]

"If the penal battalions get to carry explosives as part of their uniform, why can't I carry my laz cannon?"
- Every PC ever

Eh, I have occasionally seen PCs leave their biggest guns at home. That group also found standard combat the least interesting part of a campaign, as we discovered when three of us brought utility characters to a combat-focused game.

But that group was also very, very good at rules. We were never underarmed, we just realised that while rifles tended to kill an opponent in one shot pistols also tended to drop enemies in one shot (without dealing enough damage to reliably kill), and were considered far more acceptable by the local police. Plus a lot of effort went into being able to wear armour without causing problems, one character was a member of the nobility just to afford magically enhanced clothing, while I picked my priest's religion based on 'tends to act as and present as warriors' to justify replacing the cermonial breastplate with a real one...

And then we got an excuse to pull out the big guns. That ended the combat in a couple of rounds.

[LordCdrMilitant]

Eh, I have occasionally seen PCs leave their biggest guns at home. That group also found standard combat the least interesting part of a campaign, as we discovered when three of us brought utility characters to a combat-focused game.

But that group was also very, very good at rules. We were never underarmed, we just realised that while rifles tended to kill an opponent in one shot pistols also tended to drop enemies in one shot (without dealing enough damage to reliably kill), and were considered far more acceptable by the local police. Plus a lot of effort went into being able to wear armour without causing problems, one character was a member of the nobility just to afford magically enhanced clothing, while I picked my priest's religion based on 'tends to act as and present as warriors' to justify replacing the cermonial breastplate with a real one...

And then we got an excuse to pull out the big guns. That ended the combat in a couple of rounds.

Your players are clearly insane.

My players find every excuse to deploy explosives, armored vehicles, and heavy weapons. There's no kill like overkill!


I mean, it's 40k, right? There must be at least a dozen regiments where the shovel is part if their dress uniform for some odd reason.

Also, I think even having a separate dress uniform and battle uniform is probably unlikely for most regiments. It's worth mention that having a separate dress uniform isn't/wasn't necessarily universal, the British for example had a single uniform for the early 20th century, and IIRC the Germans only had special dress outfits for officers.

[Guizonde]

Your players are clearly insane.

My players find every excuse to deploy explosives, armored vehicles, and heavy weapons. There's no kill like overkill!

Also, I think even having a separate dress uniform and battle uniform is probably unlikely for most regiments. It's worth mention that having a separate dress uniform isn't/wasn't necessarily universal, the British for example had a single uniform for the early 20th century, and IIRC the Germans only had special dress outfits for officers.

for the first, my team's techpriest asked if he could power a lascannon via add-ons. i told him "not without upgrades" just to send him on a snipe hunt. based on that, i gather he'll figure out how to do it by session 7. for carrying it, that's what dumb muscle is for.

for the second, on the one hand you've got the american marines whose dress uniform in no way matches their battle gear, on the other, you've got the mordians whose battle gear look just like marines in dress uniform. so we're probably both equally right and wrong.

*as a dm, must not get players to go on a snipe hunt just to buy time.

[LordCdrMilitant]

for the first, my team's techpriest asked if he could power a lascannon via add-ons. i told him "not without upgrades" just to send him on a snipe hunt. based on that, i gather he'll figure out how to do it by session 7. for carrying it, that's what dumb muscle is for.

for the second, on the one hand you've got the american marines whose dress uniform in no way matches their battle gear, on the other, you've got the mordians whose battle gear look just like marines in dress uniform. so we're probably both equally right and wrong.

*as a dm, must not get players to go on a snipe hunt just to buy time.

My players just cart the Lascannon battery pack around along with the Lascannon. It's not a large object to carry around if they can carry around a Lascannon as is. Or just hook up the Backpack Ammunition Supply to your power armor and carry it around that way. All things considered, given how large the power pack is for the lascannon, you could probably strap it to your backpack for an improvised backpack ammunition supply.


Anyway, the point is, having a dress uniform and a field uniform isn't actually a given for real militaries. I generally imagine the IG being like that. It might be impolite to bring your shovel into a formal dinner, but it probably wouldn't be improper to have it in it's place when lined up in the parade square for inspection.

[Tohron]

* Our space marines cannot attend a formal dinner in full power armor
** No, sticking your medals onto the power armor does not make it OK
*** Seriously, how are you going to handle the utensils with power armor gloves?
**** May not requistion Servo Skulls to handle your utensils for you

[Anonymouswizard]

Your players are clearly insane.

My players find every excuse to deploy explosives, armored vehicles, and heavy weapons. There's no kill like overkill.

To be fair, our GM was very good about making us face the consequences of overkill (I once had a M&M character with 'causes collateral damage' as a Complication and played it to the hilt, the GM responded by occasionally denying me access to Wealth because of the lawsuits). I've played in other groups where Fireball was considered the only way to get out of a social situation.

On that note...
* Ray guns should have more than one power setting.
** 'Stun rays' should not be leveling buildings.
* I can land the airship without igniting the fuel cells.
* I am to check if the planet's atmosphere can support the airship before teleporting it there.
** I am no longer allowed to combine Inventor and Quickness to jury rig teleporters in less than a standard combat round.
*** If I'm going to keep building teleporters the GM would really like it if I'd interest PP in one.
**** I cannot instead invest in more Quickness in order to not only build the device, but patent it, market it, and build a factory to mass produce it in less than a combat round.
***** I just cannot take Quickness at all.
* It is considered bad form to summon the giant robot against bank robbers.


* Our space marines cannot attend a formal dinner in full power armor
** No, sticking your medals onto the power armor does not make it OK
*** Seriously, how are you going to handle the utensils with power armor gloves?
**** May not requistion Servo Skulls to handle your utensils for you

Actually no, Space Marines are more than capable of handling cutlery while in full power armour. It's part of the Black Carapace.

* I may not put forward the idea that there are biologically female Space Marines, they just all identify as and present as male.

[Telok]

* I may no longer scream "Ceiling walrus disapproves!" and shoot lasers at people while hanging off the roof out of melee range. From now on all enemies can fly, climb, or reach the ceiling.

[DeTess]

* Our space marines cannot attend a formal dinner in full power armor
** No, sticking your medals onto the power armor does not make it OK
*** Seriously, how are you going to handle the utensils with power armor gloves?


I'm fairly certain I've read a black library novel in which pretty much this happened XD

[danielxcutter]

* Our space marines cannot attend a formal dinner in full power armor
** No, sticking your medals onto the power armor does not make it OK
*** Seriously, how are you going to handle the utensils with power armor gloves?
**** May not requistion Servo Skulls to handle your utensils for you

Well, Space Marines are canonically capable of surviving on a diet of scrap metal and sand, but on the other hand you did say “formal”, so it’s more about the social implications rather than the food itself I suppose.

[LordCdrMilitant]

* I may not put forward the idea that there are biologically female Space Marines, they just all identify as and present as male.

As I understand it, it's definitely possible for the opposite to be true [that there are female space marines but all have XY]. But in order for the genophage that modifies the person into a space marine to work, they have to have a Y chromosome. Presumably, it uses the fact that the Y-chromosome is always expressed [whereas, in AFAB people, one X chromosome is actually dormant and one is active] and tiny to add all the other space marine gene stuff to the end of the Y chromosome or something and guarantee that it's expressed while having reduced potential to malfunction due to interactions with also-active matching genes on active chromosomes.

OTOH, both statments are probably be true in the Emperor's Children.


* Our space marines cannot attend a formal dinner in full power armor
** No, sticking your medals onto the power armor does not make it OK
*** Seriously, how are you going to handle the utensils with power armor gloves?
**** May not requistion Servo Skulls to handle your utensils for you

You can wear your power armor anywhere you want. Anyone who would object to your power armor also probably can't actually do anything about you wearing power armor.

[Anonymouswizard]

As I understand it, it's definitely possible for the opposite to be true [that there are female space marines but all have XY]. But in order for the genophage that modifies the person into a space marine to work, they have to have a Y chromosome. Presumably, it uses the fact that the Y-chromosome is always expressed [whereas, in AFAB people, one X chromosome is actually dormant and one is active] and tiny to add all the other space marine gene stuff to the end of the Y chromosome or something and guarantee that it's expressed while having reduced potential to malfunction due to interactions with also-active matching genes on active chromosomes.

OTOH, both statments are probably be true in the Emperor's Children.

This is me trying to enjoy 40k while keeping the 'no female space marines' rule, I took the idea that they get heavily modified to say that all secondary sexual characteristics are essentially removed, and that the indoctronisation process is designed so that by the end of their training all space marines will identify as male, with those who don't being disposed of somewhere along their training. To me it's a suitably grimdark explanation that doesn't require me to wrap my head around the idea of MtF people not being female (which I have massive trouble with).

Your explanation is probably more lore accurate, but to me it's less elegant and more offensive than 'the oppressive government with questionable morals and their not-so-good founder decided to indoctrinate their most powerful warriors to identify as male because sexism'. But YMMV, I just never liked the 'process only works with men' explanation.

And before anybody even thinks about it, Sisters of Battle are not female equivalents to Space Marines except in the loosest sense, they're not even augmented.

And to be fair, most Emperor's Children have probably left our ideas of 'sex' and 'gender' behind sometime before they began painting their armour a mixture of hot pink, neon green, and florescant orange.

[Laserlight]

*My level 2 character should not become a god.
**especially when he is a species that casually snacks on humanoid races
***Nor should the other party members worship him
****Particularly when they were already clerics of another faith
*****and it's an actual, genuine faith with a real, established deity
******and they're the species that the L2 character most likes to eat

[Lord Torath]

* I may not put forward the idea that there are biologically female Space Marines, they just all identify as and present as male.** I may not suggest the Dasleahnomicon (http://www.geocities.ws/Dasleahnomicron/FluffPages/iafemalespacemarines.html). Just, you know, ignore the bit about high levels of estrogen making you better at sex, and the bit about being able to breathe through your skin meaning you can suffocate in your armor. Unless there's some additional change to your airways, it really just means you can't be suffocated by a choke hold, and if someone holds ether to your mouth and nose, you can avoid passing out by breathing through your skin instead of your mouth/nose.

[LordCdrMilitant]

And before anybody even thinks about it, Sisters of Battle are not female equivalents to Space Marines except in the loosest sense, they're not even augmented.


We're much more "Marine" than the Grey Knights or Deathwatch, who are actually ADEPTUS ASTARTES. [Also, until about september, we were appreciably better. Even post supplements, we're still one of the best counter-marines there is thanks to the Order of the Valorous Heart. Don't need no genetic augments here, just blind zealotry!]


And as far as the other explanation go, I don't really find it objectionable. The requirement that the individual be AMAB because they're working with the stunted Y-chromosome is pretty reasonable to me. Requiring the individuals identify as male is well, sexist and kind of offensive.

[danielxcutter]

** I may not suggest the Dasleahnomicon (http://www.geocities.ws/Dasleahnomicron/FluffPages/iafemalespacemarines.html). Just, you know, ignore the bit about high levels of estrogen making you better at sex, and the bit about being able to breathe through your skin meaning you can suffocate in your armor. Unless there's some additional change to your airways, it really just means you can't be suffocated by a choke hold, and if someone holds ether to your mouth and nose, you can avoid passing out by breathing through your skin instead of your mouth/nose.

No offense, but I think that link is broken and is trying to install malware on my phone. Got another one?

[Rater202]

*May not explain the subtle but detailed plot of Bloodborne while pointing out that it's a setting where the Lovecraftian deities are the ones going through the cosmic horror experience in the face of human evil and that if you 100% the game and get the "true" ending that you're basically the bad guy when someone points to Bloodborne as an example of the plotless Monty-haul guilt-free survival horror feel they're going for with this campaign.
** May not give the power gamer a moral existential crisis.

[danielxcutter]

*May not explain the subtle but detailed plot of Bloodborne while pointing out that it's a setting where the Lovecraftian deities are the ones going through the cosmic horror experience in the face of human evil and that if you 100% the game and get the "true" ending that you're basically the bad guy when someone points to Bloodborne as an example of the plotless Monty-haul guilt-free survival horror feel they're going for with this campaign.
** May not give the power gamer a moral existential crisis.

I... would dispute that, but I haven’t actually played. I do know that while yes, much of the reason the situation is so bad is because of human evil, the Lovecraftian beings... aren’t exactly the main victims.

The Moon Presence is the Great One behind the Hunt, and there is a theory that it pushed the Hunters into killing Kos (some say Kosm). Whether this was a bad thing is up for debate (as is a good chunk of Soulsborne lore in general), but one thing we do almost certainly know is that Mergo is responsible for making things even freakier in the second half or so of the game. Someone in a Discord server I know said Yharnam essentially had 5~6 eldritch apocalypses happening at the same time.

[Lord Torath]

No offense, but I think that link is broken and is trying to install malware on my phone. Got another one?
Huh. Works fine for me.

How about I just post it here?
Disclaimer: This is an edited version. I removed the "raging hormones teenage boy" bits already mentioned above. I may have fixed a few spelling errors as well. Other than that, all I've done is adjust the formatting so I can post it here.
AdMech/837450/xxx
Masters, it is indeed with great urgency that I submit this report. It details several matters that could prove what we have always feared: a Space Marine Chapter deviating so much from the genetic integrity of their geneseed as to allow for the creation of beings the likes of which we have always feared would walk the imperium! To allow such a base affront to the Machine God is unforgivable!

Genetic deviance is common within the Chapters of the Adeptus Astartes. Despite the regular purges performed by the Inquisition and the Cult Mechanicus, the continuing onset of mutation and psychic disturbance within the Imperium has resulted with the very recruits that a Chapter draws upon are inevitably tainted. This, normally, has little effect. But over time, the innate psychic imprint of the Chapter is implanted upon their geneseed, resulting in mutation that often manifests itself to a form similar to the Chapter mythos and beliefs. However, some mutations owe their creation to circumstances more sinister. There have been instances where doomed Chapters have been forced to implant their geneseed within foreign creatures so as to preserve it until it can be retrieved when the current crisis. Some are the result of the worst kind of Techno-Heresy: the direct and deliberate alteration of the genetic material by the Chapter for reasons unknown.

The reasons for the creation of female Space Marines are largely the sole knowledge of the Chapters themselves- to commit such a crime against the Machine God and the Emperor would require incredible circumstances just to consider it. Indeed, if such an option is considered at all, as the technology required to create such beings is rare and is often locked deep away within the most heavily armored of Forge Worlds. A rare few know that it can be done – fewer still survive to tell the tale. Perhaps the Chapter, so desperately ravaged by war and mutation would seek to create a temporary vessel for their geneseed to grow until such time they can rebuild their strength? Perhaps the Chapter itself was raised upon a great matriarchal world and it was inevitable that females were to be inducted? Or perhaps the reasons are darker still, whether by means accidental or deliberate? The reasons are as varied as the stars themselves.
Whatever the reason, the fact is that such beings do exist, despite the best attempts of the Cult Mechanicus. They view tampering with the geneseed as a crime most terrible – as, to some extent, it contains a part of the Emperor's genetic material, although to a far lesser extent than the Primarchs. Although not a patriarchal organization, the Cult Mechanicus view the possibility that the geneseed has been tampered with so much that it can be safely and repeatedly used within a female biological system with horror.

The main problem associated with the use of geneseed within a female system is that fact that the hormone that the genetic material reacts to is testosterone, rather than estrogen. This is primarily because the organs need adequate muscle stimulation to promote growth and development, while estrogen has a less profound impact upon the body's muscular system than testosterone. Combined with the fact that the Emperor himself coded the genetics of the organs with a focus to make his armies on Terra stronger, faster and more aggressive, it makes the prospect of using such organs difficult. Indeed, the direct implantation of normal organs will result in the female body rejecting them, resulting in severe genetic corruption and extensive internal damage (usually resulting in death).
The original response to this problem was to introduce a series of carefully administered overdoses of several strength-enhancing drugs, along with a regular intake of testosterone supplements. While on the whole this was successful, it was not without its side-effects. Namely, the females that underwent the treatment were often violent and unhinged individuals, as along with their strength increase, an increase of aggression would accompany. Also, since implantation takes place during puberty when hormones are strongest and most numerous, it resulted in female Space Marines with underdeveloped bodies, their chemical therapy leaving them with bodies that are more biologically male than female.

Another, and perhaps the most preferred method, is the alteration of the organs to increase their efficiency and to work with, rather than against, the estrogen. During puberty, the female body still produces testosterone – just in quantities far less than it produces estrogen. Using complex alteration, the organs are modified to operate with far less testosterone over time than usual. However, although they are far better at using the tiny levels of testosterone present, the process still takes longer than usual, so rather than implantation taking 6-7 years, it is not uncommon for the process to take 10-12 years, and even greater given other considerations. Obviously, the process of puberty is normally well finished at this point, depriving the organs of the hormones that they need, so the levels of estrogen are kept constant for this period. This results in female Space Marines appearing much younger than they actually are, as they are often well into their 20s before the implantation and training process is finished and complete to a level equal to their male counterparts. This process also keeps their bodies chemically identical to ordinary females, not taking into consideration the many other organs that they receive that actually make their bodies far superior than ordinary humans.

++Incoming Message.....++
++Transmitter - Astropath 9362529856/2551++
++Receiver - Astropath 3631763/486a++
++Author identified as Inquisitor-General Hael++
++Date 475/M.39++
++Thought for the Day: The Daemon is the Tool of the Heretic. Martyrdom is the Tool of the Loyalist.++
++Displaying.......++
Masters, it has so transpired that I have witnessed a most unusual sight, and I implore that an Inquisitorial Cell be deployed immediately so as to fully investigate the matter.
As you are well aware, after several incidents involving unregistered Xenos attack and frequent Chaotic intrusions, I have been assigned as commanding officer of the Ghaool V 122nd Regiment so as to better catalogue and defeat these new threats to the Imperium. My latest observation come under way when we were surveying a dead world believed to be connected to the [CENSORED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT] when were beset by a large armed force of natives – foul xenos they were, with skin of obsidian and stone, and they came at us as a great horde. With our supporting fleet on the far side of the system (they were forced to remain behind as the great energy outputs produced by their plasma drives would have almost certainly announced our arrival to any sentient beings in-system) I made a command on all channels for any Imperial-friendly vessels to come to our immediate aid (that I could do so with confidence simply furthers the fact that many Rouge Traders are consorting with Xenos most foul. We ourselves were forced to board several vessels and revoke their Free Trade Agreements after proving that they traded with alien races without informing the nearest Imperial authorities) Whilst my loyal troopers lay dying around me, within a few short hours we received supporting fire from low orbit, allowing us to sally out of our makeshift mountain fortress and scatter our foes. I hailed the vessel, and the encryption of the com-link identified the vessel as a Space Marine Strike Cruiser by the name of Exempla Termentia. Although they at first refused my calls for them to make planet fall, they eventually agreed and within the hour a Thunderhawk was dispatched to meet with me and receive the praise of a fellow member of the Emperor's fighting forces.
As the doors of the Thunderhawk swung open, I was ashamed to admit that my mouth hung agape at the sight before me. The.....Space Marines, if that was what they were, were female. The one that strode forward to meet me came without a helmet, her features instantly recognizable as that of a women, one in her late 30s by my reckoning, although given the ageless qualities of the Adeptus Astartes, it was safe to say that she was perhaps hundreds of years old. She was as tall as a Space Marine-perhaps a little shorter, and her modified Power Armor made her seem just as well built and strong as a normal Marine. Her hair was long and pulled back, and she came unarmed. Without taking her eyes away from me, she stalked up to me a stood directly in front of me, forcing me to crane my neck to maintain eye contact. She bent her head down and spoke but a single phrase - 'And so are we revealed.'
And they abruptly left. Our supporting fleet was still far off, operating on the lowest power output possible, so I could not pursue, and given that we did not expect orbital attackers, all our Delta-class ordnance was still on-ship.
Now that I am onboard, I submit this report and request that immediate action take place. The Skittari forces attached to my own have held their own counsels amongst their senior Priests and have not of yet.....'graced' me with an audience.

Your most humble servant,
Gallius Hael, Inquisitor-General


Organs of the Female Space Marines
While the Cult Mechanicus have yet to receive a full body for inspection, they have at least hypothesized the presence of several organs that would be unique to female Space Marines and their purpose within the female system:

Phase 1 - Secondary Heart While the presence of this organ is yet to be confirmed, it seems likely that, like their male counterparts, they have an additional heart to better circulate their enhanced blood and to provide a reserve should the first one be damaged in combat. It is thought to be smaller than the usual heart, as the female chest cavity is on average smaller than that of the male, making space a premium. This has led several Magos to surmise that the heart may act as a supplementary heart, rather than an additional heart, acting in support rather than as an independent organ.

Phase 2 - Ossmodula Believed to have the same purpose as the normal Marine organ. May be slightly less effective.

Phase 3 - Yisceopa The first of the unique organs, this organ is a direct gene-alteration of the male Biscopea. This organ is implanted at the back of the skull, growing into the brain and to a certain extent the spinal column. This organ is responsible for the prolonging of the puberty stage of the recipient, so as to continue a steady creation of hormones required for other organs that need stimulation to work. As a side effect, this also results in increased fertility within the young female Marines, and thus leads to a heightened sexual awareness. This, of course, has led to many urban myths about scattered temples of followers of Dark Gods giving into their base desires, but this has proved baseless as of yet. Like all Marines, they are not forbidden reproduction, but it is normally discouraged, as the Chapter is fearful of the genetic stability of the offspring. (Note-this phenomenon must also be present with male Chapters, although as of yet they are reluctant to make any references to this point of their initiation)

Phase 4 - Haemastamen As per standard, this organ synthesizes chemicals to enhance the efficiency of the Marines blood. Combining with the effects of proper training and the output of the Yisceopa, this also helps to stimulate and enhance muscle growth.

Phase 5 - Kaliia Organ The female equivalent of the Larraman's organ. Instead of providing an efficient clotting agent like normal, this organ promotes rapid skin growth and healing. As such, many female Space Marines have scarring, but it is normally indistinguishable from their normal skin, albeit with a slightly darker tone. This is one of the disadvantages of the organ – it is quite possible for a female Space Marine to bleed to death if the wound is large enough, whereas a normal Marine would simply form a large clot that would heal into a mass of tough scar tissue. Also, as the female mind is far more efficient when dealing with pain than the male, this implant is actually two separate organs that are implanted simultaneously – the first, being the one just described, grafted onto the Primary Heart, while the second is implanted into the brain from the top of the skull. This allows for a female Space Marine, given the right hypno-indoctrination and chemical therapy, to completely shut off the pain receptors of their brains and bodies – although only the most veteran and seasoned of female Space Marines can do this for extended periods of time without fail.

Phase 6 - Catalepsean Node Believed to be far less efficient than normal, requiring female Space Marines to actually sleep more often than a normal Space Marine requires to.

Phase 7 - Preomnor As per standard.

Phase 8 - Emoghopea The female-specific mutation of the Omophagea. Allows for a Marine to 'learn' from the digestion of animal tissue. Has resulted in female Space Marines having a far greater sensitivity to the emotional aspect of this innate learning rather than physical memory (believed to be caused by the influence of the Phase 3 implant, which creates a controlled, prolonged puberty, a time where emotional influence holds most sway over the body) So, by the tasting of an animal, she is able to determine whether the target was confused, frightened, excited, enraged, or any other emotion, up to within 3 days of tasting the material. It is not known whether the same debasement that occurs with the male organ (the various blood-drinking and flesh eating Chapters) is present, but it is assumed that such female Space Marines do exist, albeit acting in a more psychological fashion than their more debased counterparts.

Phase 9 - Multi-Lung As per standard.

Phase 10 - Occulobe As per standard, although it is believed that due to the influence of estrogen, a female Space Marine's eyes can distinguish between more colors than a normal Space Marine with more clarity, with a comparable level of night vision capabilities (although it has been suggested that female Space Marines eyes can be more sensitive to bright light, due to the increase in optical cells that allow them to distinguish greater color depth)

Phase 11 - Lyman's Ear As per standard.

Phase 12 - Sus-an Membrane No evidence of such an organ can be found within the current post-mortem examinations preformed on the bodies that the Cult Mechanicus have recovered. This is believed to be due to the fact that it is a very complex organ, and with the current proficiency level of mechanical suspended animation technology, has been ruled redundant and not used by the majority of female Space Marines. Also believed to be influenced by the Phase 6 implant.

Phase 13 - Melanochrome As per standard.

Phase 14 - Oolitic Kidney As per standard, although less efficient to prevent the Marine bleeding to death unnecessarily (see Phase 5)

Phase 15 - Neuroglottis As per standard, although it is suggested that this also alters the taste receptors for the Marine on an individual basis.

Phase 16 - Juucinaroid Female equivalent of the Mucranoid. Due to the influence of the Phase 5 implant, in addition to altering the sweat glands to create a heat-resistant liquid, this also aids in clotting blood by excreting a liquid that aids in blood clotting when exposed to oxygen. Unfortunately, it appears that this organ has mutated from its original purpose, also aiding in the supply of oxygen to the blood by 'absorbing' some of it through the skin. This means that it is very difficult to suffocate a female marine by covering her nose and mouth.

Phase 17 - Vanek's Gland Instead of providing the saliva of the Marine with an acidic quality, it instead works in conjunction with the Phase 2 implant to greatly strengthen the teeth of the Space Marine. The female can then chew, rather than melt, their way through several materials, although not as effective as a male Space Marine may do so with his Betcher's Glands.

Phase 18 - Progenoids It is not known what the influence of large amounts of estrogen has on the Progenoids, however it is believed that it serves the same purpose as the male equivalent – it must, unless female Space Marines have developed a method of storing and creating geneseed without biological incubation and subsequent maturation.

Phase 19 - White Carapace As per standard Black Carapace, suitably altered to take the female figure and internal organ placement into consideration.

Of course, all the organs above have been altered to operate over an extended period of time with small amounts of testosterone and a far larger influence of estrogen. The Cult Mechanicus are eager to recover a full specimen for examination, as it is quite obvious that female Space Marines are just as strong, fast, tough and efficient as their superhuman male counterparts, and the technology used to create them could be used to greatly enhance existing male organs with proper study and divination. And with all Chapters, it is theorized that some organs would have mutated from their 'Codex' behavior, and some may have been lost altogether.

AdMech 837450/xxx/Autopsy Report
Attendant Magos: Senior Magos-Genetor Neroii
1. Initial visual investigation leaves no doubt to the cause of death-the subject suffered incredible physical trauma that resulted in the loss of 37.8% of the subject body, consistent with the reported method of termination, having being caught in open ground by a mortar barrage. The taint of Chaos has not yet been determined, so at this point the subject is being treated as female, and the appropriate surgical methods will be used.
2. The chest cavity proved just as tough to open as any member of the Adeptus Astartes, requiring the strength of two of my Servo-Meds. The ribcage itself was fused in much the same way as a normal Adeptus Astartes, although with further testing it was revealed that the bone itself had less overall tensile strength than would be expected, but was still of a level far above that of a normal human. Examination of the organs contained therein have since been removed and placed into storage pending transportation to Mars for investigation by the Collegica Genetoria.
3. The brain itself proved to be largely intact, the lower torso and limbs having taken the majority of the damage. It proved consistent in size and mass of a normal Adeptus Astartes brain, although there was present a most unusual organ that sat below the apex, whose purpose I could not fathom with the resources available to me now.
4. The chem-lab has reported back. No sign of viral, bacteriological or toxicological contamination has been detected, and the hormonal patterns have identified the Marine as a female at birth. An excess of estrogen was found, consistent with levels found within young females during puberty. DNA divination has determined that the Marine is within the ages of 30-35, an age comparable to a young Marine, although visual examinations place the subject in her late teens or early 20s at least.
5. In summary, it is my opinion that we have here a techno-heresy of the worst kind. The debasement of geneseed to such a level so as to make the recipient female the equivalent of a member of the Adeptus Astartes must have utilized technologies either forbidden or forgotten. I shall meet with Inquisitor-General Hael to suggest that we begin our pursuit of our so-called 'saviors' anew and recover the black arts used to create them.

Magos-Genetor Neroii


Chapters of Renown
It is not known exactly how many entirely female Space Marine Chapters exist. If there is any great number of them, then they are keeping aloof and rarely communicating with Imperial organizations. The still respond to requests and Crusades (and other military campaigns) but they rarely make direct contact with the other forces, preferring to fight by themselves or in conjunction with other members of the Adeptus Astartes, male or female (members of the male Adeptus Astartes refuse to be drawn into discussion regarding the subject) so information is hard to come by. They still venerate the Primarch of who their geneseed is based upon, although not as much as normal Chapters (note- remember that most female geneseed is simply a genetically altered version of existing geneseed, having been altered or debased by technology or circumstances. It is believed that the Apothecarion of Chapters with female Space Marines keep in close contact with each other to share resources and research) There are, however, several rumors that travel within the trade routes of the Imperium concerning 'Warrior Women' that can be placed within context with scattered battlefield reports and surveys.
• Platinum Wasps
The Platinum Wasps are believed to be a largely Codex Chapter, with most reports suggesting that they are derived from Ultramarine stock. The color of their armor is known to be a very light yellow (bordering on white), and true to their name, they have a silver and black wasp as a Chapter symbol. One of the few Chapters that are believed to consist fully of female Marines, it is not known whether this is through choice or circumstance. They have been most recently sighted taking part in the Ullyical Crusade as a frontline attack force, their Companies dropping directly onto enemy frontlines and securing advance bases. Casualties are high, but the full Chapter strength is believed to be in orbit to supplement attacks and provide covering fire. They have, of yet, refused summons by the Crusade's attached Inquisitors, whose requests that they be placed within holding pending investigation have been refused by the Warmaster, who has since been placed under investigation himself. The Wasps have since dug themselves in within the mountainous terrain surrounding the Hive-cities on Tyiooh VII, where extraction would prove difficult, if not impossible. Their fleet has since moved out of orbit and their current whereabouts are unknown but are still believed to be in-system.
• Grey Riders
Believed to be derived from White Scar geneseed, the Grey Riders are believed to have an equal proportion of female to male Marines. They are not divided into separate Companies as one may expect – like the Imperial Guard, the sex of the soldier is irrelevant, so it is just as likely to find a squad made of 1 female Space Marine and 9 male Marines as it is to find 1 male Space Marine and 9 female Marines in a squad. They possess all the ferocity and ability of their male counterparts, and the male Marines appear to hold no ill-regard towards them. This is believed to be due to the fact that nowhere in the Codex Astartes or the teachings of the Emperor say that it is forbidden for females to become Space Marines – it has simply been, up to this point, biologically impossible. It is also believed that the current Chapter Master is female, with references to the 'Mother Wind' believed to be referring to the name that her Chapter has given to her, highlighting her speed and power, and also a great mark of respect. Current whereabouts are unknown, but given the nature of the White Scar geneseed, it is safe to assume that they are speeding across the plains of some distant battlefield.
• Upsilon Dragoons
Believed to be a 'Parade Chapter'-that is, one that is created more for show than actual combat purposes. The number of female Marines present are small, and interaction between the different sexes are discouraged. Females are organized into separate squads and into different Companies (although the Chapter can only muster just over a full Company of female Marines) As with all Parade Chapters, their armor is ornate and they have seen little combat duty, being delegated mainly to peacekeeping and ceremonial duties. It is believed that the inception of females into the Chapter came through the political pressure exerted by the matriarchal Houses within the Hive Cities on their homeworld of Upsilon V, as these Houses hold an influence over the resident Chapter that is viewed as unhealthy by the Inquisition, but do not act under the Chapters insistence that they remain an independent military power. The Chapter has so far escaped the attentions of the Inquisition due to the fact that the Chapter itself controls the incredibly precious Adamantium mines that are present on the planet. The Inquisition still maintains a high presence on the planet, but the Chapter will not submit to their wishes for their subterranean Fortress Monastery to be opened for investigation.
• Splinter Eagles
The Splinter Eagles are the best documented example of inducting females into their ranks because they had no other option. One of the Marine Chapters sent to investigate a new Tyranid Hivefleet approaching from the galactic north, they faced the full fury of the Hive Mind are were forced to retreat, losing 87% of their Chapter strength in the process. However, at the command of the High Lords, the Chapter was forced to remain at the frontline and to divert the threat as much as possible until such a time that enough resources could be found to deal with the threat. As the years went on, the Splinter Eagles began to suffer more and more at the hands of the Tyranids, unable to generate enough recruits from the male population of the surrounding planets, as the conscription forced upon them by the High Lords made it so that every man of able body over the age of 10 was to be sent to the front lines. And so, the Marines began to induct recruits from the remaining female population who had not yet been called to act on the front line. Currently, the Chapter has a total strength of 5 Battle Companies to call on, and their Scout Company is one of the largest in known Marine history (a total of 348 Neophytes at last count, mostly female) The Chapter still suffers daily casualties at the hand of the Tyranid horde, and they are pushing the technology used to create Marines to points that are considered dangerous and with great risks that have not yet emerged.
• Crimson Spiders
This Chapter is currently listed as MIA after the Inquisition managed to determine the location of their homeworld and sent an Exterminatus Fleet to demand that they agree to submit themselves to the Cult Mechanicus and the Holy Inquisition. Instead, they fought their way out of the blockade and made for warp-space the instant they were clear. An inspection of their planet-based Fortress Monastery has revealed little, as the Armory was detonated and their orbital docks were self-destructed. The planet has been declared Excommunicate Traitoris and is awaiting destruction after the local population rose up against the invading forces. It is also believed that the locals still harbor a small garrison of Crimson Spiders, both male and female, somewhere on the planet, but current interrogation has not revealed their whereabouts. What information that was gleaned from the ruins of their Fortress-Monastery has revealed that they consist of 58.9% Male marines to 41.1% female Marines, and are of Space Wolves geneseed. They excel at infiltration and sabotage, and are especially fierce in combat as benefits their Canis Helix. The mutation of ever-growing canine teeth that is normally present within the Space Wolves Chapter is not in this case (believed to be due to individual mutation and the influence of the female Vanek's Gland), but it has been confirmed that the Marines are heavily tattooed (with spider web like patterns) and use this as the basis for seniority in their Chapter, each Marine being allowed to add to their tattoos for every confirmed kill they make. Their distinctive dark-red Power Armor has since been sighted in orbit around worlds where other Space Wolves descendent Chapters are believed to call their home.
• Ebony Foxes
The Ebony Foxes are believed to be the Chapter that made contact and came to the aid of Inquisitor-General Hael (his report being shown above) They have flesh-colored Power Armor and are believed to recruit from desert worlds, but for the most part are fleet based. It is not known why they made contact with the Inquisitor, which is an act that they knew would expose them to the Inquisition, but it is believed that it was a pre-meditated act, for they only made contact after they knew that the Inquisitor could not attack their vessels or pursue them. There have been scattered reports of Marines, both male and female, dressed in the Chapter livery of the Ebony Foxes preforming independent investigations on Dead Worlds, but the purpose of this is as of yet unknown. Given what little information there is about them, it is safe to assume that they are a very secretive Chapter, possibly from Dark Angels gene-stock, and so they inevitably have some dark agenda that they refuse to acknowledge. They have only taken part in a few military actions registered by the Imperium, and always arriving silently from orbit and leaving the moment that the conflict is over.

This is dedicated to all those who have included females within their Space Marine armies-you started it, I simply justified it.
http://www.geocities.ws/Dasleahnomicron/FluffPages/iafemalespacemarines.html(I highly doubt that any arm of the Adeptus Mechanicus has "always feared" there would be female space marines. But whatever. :smallwink:)

[Anonymouswizard]

** I may not suggest the Dasleahnomicon (http://www.geocities.ws/Dasleahnomicron/FluffPages/iafemalespacemarines.html). Just, you know, ignore the bit about high levels of estrogen making you better at sex, and the bit about being able to breathe through your skin meaning you can suffocate in your armor. Unless there's some additional change to your airways, it really just means you can't be suffocated by a choke hold, and if someone holds ether to your mouth and nose, you can avoid passing out by breathing through your skin instead of your mouth/nose.

Yeah, I really don't like that, I've never seen why being female would require a whole different set of enhancements.


We're much more "Marine" than the Grey Knights or Deathwatch, who are actually ADEPTUS ASTARTES. [Also, until about september, we were appreciably better. Even post supplements, we're still one of the best counter-marines there is thanks to the Order of the Valorous Heart. Don't need no genetic augments here, just blind zealotry!]

It's not that I dislike the Adeptus Soritas, it's that I just don't see them as a counterpart of the Astartes (to me they're more like hyper elite stormtroopers+faith). Heck, I got into 40k back during the days where the Sisters were out of focus in favour of the Imperial Guard (which is, and always will be, their only name, no 'star military' here), so about the end of Forth beginning of Fifth, and left the wargame once the Focus had shifted so far towards Space Marines you got powered armour inside a bigger suit of powered armour and the Sisters of Battle not getting a proper codex when the Blood Angels did.

Might start up a new army of Guardsmen when I have the space and money, although I'm considering just moving to 15mm minis.


And as far as the other explanation go, I don't really find it objectionable. The requirement that the individual be AMAB because they're working with the stunted Y-chromosome is pretty reasonable to me. Requiring the individuals identify as male is well, sexist and kind of offensive.

I mean, I get that, but to me saying 'all Space Marines are male, but some of them identify as women' is saying two statements that cannot be true at the same time. Plus as I said, the idea that they are intentionally indoctrinated to be male because the Emperor was sexist and having this filter down over the succeeding years to me fits with the Grim Dark nature.

Like, my views on gender mean I feel strongly that somebody who identifies as a woman is female, no matter what their body looks like, how long they've spent living as their gender, or any hormones they are taking. A Space Marine who truly, deeply identified as a woman to me would just not be male (even if they might be 'biologically male).

Then again, I also don't have space marines appear in games. Not even as PCs. If they're on the same planet they're not at the same bit as the PCs are and they're dealing with a more military threat anyway. If I do need a 'highly trained military' NPC I'll go for either a stormtrooper or a SoB depending on how much I want to play up the religious aspects of the setting. I'm generally working at too low a level for Space Marines to care anyway, with PCs doing the grunt work in dealing with corruption both mundane and Warp-influenced (I very quickly settled on 'Ordo Herectus Acolytes' back in the days of Dark Heresy), or if I ever do run a Rogue Trader or Ascension level game the PC wills be dealing with stuff Space Marines aren't supposed to get involved in.

[Lord Raziere]

* may not point out that Space Marines and Sister of Battle both die just as often anyways despite all the work put into both to make them
** or that normal commissars and soldiers are depicted succeeding where they fail or killing their chaos marine counterparts
*** may not wonder what the point of the super-soldiers are in Warhammer 40k if non-enhanced soldiers can take out the threats without them
**** If we get female Adeptus Astartes, we must go both ways and get Adeptus Frateritus defying the whole "since Goge Vandire the Ecclesiarchy can't raise men at arms" thing.

* may not try to get this thread back on track
** May not call marvel sentinels "stupid eugenicist tin cans"
*** May not go on to make a headcanon in character that the marvel government is trying to make an army of mutant nobles loyal to the government to oppress the masses, and use the rambling about it to destroy sentinels with another sentinel
**** May not wonder if saying my headcanon created a new version of the X-men where my headcanon is true and an existential crisis over it
***** May not try to exploit storytelling to create the exact universe I want in character.

[thorr-kan]

<SNIP!> I've played in other groups where Fireball was considered the only way to get out of a social situation.
I went to that prom!

Sometimes it's fun to play the character who solves all the problems with Moar Fireball!. But, yeah, normally Consequences should be a Thing.

[SirBellias]

*May no longer give feedback after the random encounter that was almost a TPK ends.
** Especially not about how after doing the math, the CR was at least 5 above our party's level.
*** Even more so if that puts it at "beyond epic" levels of struggle in the system we're playing.
**** "Relax, half of you could damage it and you escaped eventually"
***** May not point out that if it was supposed to be a boss encounter, there ought to have been some indication of such, or build up, or general knowledge of threats like that in the area, or something.
****** Just because the person that died is cool with it doesn't mean it wasn't a completely off the wall situation that no one could have prepared for.
******* How did the ooze even get that close?

*May not longer threaten to build a Leshy Cleric.

[Rater202]

I... would dispute that, but I haven’t actually played. I do know that while yes, much of the reason the situation is so bad is because of human evil, the Lovecraftian beings... aren’t exactly the main victims.

The Moon Presence is the Great One behind the Hunt, and there is a theory that it pushed the Hunters into killing Kos (some say Kosm). Whether this was a bad thing is up for debate (as is a good chunk of Soulsborne lore in general), but one thing we do almost certainly know is that Mergo is responsible for making things even freakier in the second half or so of the game. Someone in a Discord server I know said Yharnam essentially had 5~6 eldritch apocalypses happening at the same time.

The Moon Presence was just trying to clean up the mess, Hunters werren't around until the Scourge of BEasts was well underway and that was specifically the result of the Healing Church doing something that messed up the Yarnam blood. Hunters were the best way to solve the problems. The description for on of he umbilical cords implies that the Hunters are a substitute for a child of the Moon Presense.

Kos was peaceful and just wanted a child. The "Kos give us eyes" might be an indication that she tried to grant a wish that she didn't understand(examine her corpse and you see she has none) and that caused problems, but all of the problems confirmed to be related to her cause are the esult of humans wanting to study her child and the people altered by her presence. Both of whom were killed.

Odeon wanted a kid, though the fact that he impregnates women infected by himself(he basically is Yarnum blood, or rather, the Yarnum Blood is the blood of a woman he tried and failed to impregnate) whether they want it or not means he's not exactly good. Not evil, either, but not good.

Mergo needed to be killed to end the Nightmare, bu Mergo existing int ehform he did was the fault of the Healing Church and Mergo's Wetnurse was just trying to ascend humanity to Godhood one person at a time.

Ebrietus was trying to slowly acclimate humanity to the idea of the great ones and the cosmic truth of reality so that coexistence could be possible but the Healing Church's choir decided to study her and use her t argument their specific form of blood Ministry to evolve humanity into Kin, as their Church's predecessors did and basically screwed it up.

The Brain of Mensis isn't malevolent when it attacks you, it's doesn't seem to have a choice, and when you Make contact with it after freeing it from it's chains it gives you a magic rune--which is how the Great Ones communicate--that greatly improves the reward you get from killing things. Considering how sad it looks and the fact that it just lays there, one gets the feeling that it's begging you to kill it and put i out of its misery. BEcuase the implication is that it was just off on it's own until it got captured and experimented on.

Rom was originally a human who was turned into a Great One Artificially by experiments with various forms of blood and insight att he cost of completely destroying her mind (Vacuous is referring to this state of mindlessness. The Japanese version calls her retarded.) Even then, it's implied that she's instinctively holding back the worst of the madness: Everything goes to Hell when you kill her.

And the Orphan of Kos is basically the vengeful ghost of a child whose mother was murdered as it was born so that it could be taken and studied until it too died, creating a nightmare realm and dragging into it the souls of everyone responsible for or benefiting from it's mother's murder and forcing them to confront their sins and those of their predecessors.

Only the AMygdala seem to be actively attacking humans without provocation, but as far as I can tell only the specific one that you can encounter as an optional boss is confirmed to be malevolent.

[LordCdrMilitant]

It's not that I dislike the Adeptus Soritas, it's that I just don't see them as a counterpart of the Astartes (to me they're more like hyper elite stormtroopers+faith). Heck, I got into 40k back during the days where the Sisters were out of focus in favour of the Imperial Guard (which is, and always will be, their only name, no 'star military' here), so about the end of Forth beginning of Fifth, and left the wargame once the Focus had shifted so far towards Space Marines you got powered armour inside a bigger suit of powered armour and the Sisters of Battle not getting a proper codex when the Blood Angels did.

Might start up a new army of Guardsmen when I have the space and money, although I'm considering just moving to 15mm minis.

I joke that it takes 19-22 extra organs just to make up for having a stunty half-size chromosome ;). Especially when I win.

I definitely see SoB as a marine-like army, though were at the far edge of that. As I said, we're "marineier" than GK or Deathwatch, which are actually marines.

The Codex: Space Marines, Space Wolves, Dark Angels, and Blood Angels are "Space Marine armies". They all basically share the same unit pool and core functionality and capability, with a few special units and upgrades each. Grey Hunters, Tacticals, all the same basically.

Grey Knights and Deathwatch are technically ADEPTUS ASTARTES, but aren't "Space Marine armies", because their units are completely different and function is completely different. GK have terminator troops and Strikes all have force weapons, and no heavy weapons are shared in common. Likewise, a Deathwatch Kill Team is also nothing like a Tactical Squad, it's got special weapons for everybody, all kinds of loadouts, mixed unit types, etc. In addition, their playstyles are completely different from the Space Marine codecies. BA being "different" from Codex Marines is basically just a matter of leaning on their special units. In playstyle, you can have functionally identical Space Wolves, Blood Angels, Dark Angels, and Codex: Marines armies. I play SW as a bunch of Long Fangs and Grey Hunters and Primaris troops, and could easily just say "well, I'm Iron Hands today" and change nothing about my army. Grey Knights, on the other hand, are all on the drop, extreme low model count, and universally heavy-medium melee and play very differently. Similar for Deathwatch.

I consider Sisters of Battle to actually be sharing space with GK and Deathwatch both lore wise and mechanically as "Inquisition Armies" or "Marines but not Marines". We're the closest to Space Marines out of the three in terms of rules [sharing unit types, functions, and loadouts], but we're also just different enough to have our own identity on the tabletop [mostly due to lack of 48"+range more than being T3. The T3 isn't really significant]. Primaris Marines have really made that distinction more defined.




Then again, I also don't have space marines appear in games. Not even as PCs. If they're on the same planet they're not at the same bit as the PCs are and they're dealing with a more military threat anyway. If I do need a 'highly trained military' NPC I'll go for either a stormtrooper or a SoB depending on how much I want to play up the religious aspects of the setting. I'm generally working at too low a level for Space Marines to care anyway, with PCs doing the grunt work in dealing with corruption both mundane and Warp-influenced (I very quickly settled on 'Ordo Herectus Acolytes' back in the days of Dark Heresy), or if I ever do run a Rogue Trader or Ascension level game the PC wills be dealing with stuff Space Marines aren't supposed to get involved in.

I've run Deathwatch a couple of times, and I've got Space Marines in my W&G party, and I've got a Space Wolves army. [I've also got a IG, SoB, GK, and Talons army] I don't really have a problem with them.

[Anonymouswizard]

The Codex: Space Marines, Space Wolves, Dark Angels, and Blood Angels are "Space Marine armies". They all basically share the same unit pool and core functionality and capability, with a few special units and upgrades each. Grey Hunters, Tacticals, all the same basically.

I never really found Chaos Space Marines to be that different back in the day. Different specifics bolted onto the same core.


I've run Deathwatch a couple of times, and I've got Space Marines in my W&G party, and I've got a Space Wolves army. [I've also got a IG, SoB, GK, and Talons army] I don't really have a problem with them.

I'm just not a big fan of them, possibly because my first experience of Deathwatch included us being denied the ability to a) plan, b) scout, c) check orbital scans, or d) sneak in through the back door before commencing the blazing guns*. Always like Dark Heresy more, maybe it's because the PCs are going to spend their first few sessions in way over their head ad underequipped, it encourages solutions other than 'set it on fire'.

Mainly 'let's raid the local Imperial Guard base for equipment', but players learn slowly.

* Space Marines are not stupid, and I realised right away that walking into this place through the front door should have resulted in a melta shot to the helmet, at the very least once we reached the supposed underground tunnels. I wanted to gather information from orbit, fly down to the nearest city still recieving ships, do a forced march to the complex, find the tradesman's entrance, find the underground tunnel undetected if possible, then loudly annouce that the Adeptus Astartes are here and go in guns blazing. Instead the Inquisition apparently bundled us into a drop pod without letting us see the building plan and couldn't even get us through the roof, we had to march in the front door while they were setting off the alarm. He had a really bad reaction to the word 'scout', as well as 'melta gun' and 'I paid XP to add it to my Wargear'.

[danielxcutter]

The Moon Presence was just trying to clean up the mess, Hunters werren't around until the Scourge of BEasts was well underway and that was specifically the result of the Healing Church doing something that messed up the Yarnam blood. Hunters were the best way to solve the problems. The description for on of he umbilical cords implies that the Hunters are a substitute for a child of the Moon Presense.

Kos was peaceful and just wanted a child. The "Kos give us eyes" might be an indication that she tried to grant a wish that she didn't understand(examine her corpse and you see she has none) and that caused problems, but all of the problems confirmed to be related to her cause are the esult of humans wanting to study her child and the people altered by her presence. Both of whom were killed.

Odeon wanted a kid, though the fact that he impregnates women infected by himself(he basically is Yarnum blood, or rather, the Yarnum Blood is the blood of a woman he tried and failed to impregnate) whether they want it or not means he's not exactly good. Not evil, either, but not good.

Mergo needed to be killed to end the Nightmare, bu Mergo existing int ehform he did was the fault of the Healing Church and Mergo's Wetnurse was just trying to ascend humanity to Godhood one person at a time.

Ebrietus was trying to slowly acclimate humanity to the idea of the great ones and the cosmic truth of reality so that coexistence could be possible but the Healing Church's choir decided to study her and use her t argument their specific form of blood Ministry to evolve humanity into Kin, as their Church's predecessors did and basically screwed it up.

The Brain of Mensis isn't malevolent when it attacks you, it's doesn't seem to have a choice, and when you Make contact with it after freeing it from it's chains it gives you a magic rune--which is how the Great Ones communicate--that greatly improves the reward you get from killing things. Considering how sad it looks and the fact that it just lays there, one gets the feeling that it's begging you to kill it and put i out of its misery. BEcuase the implication is that it was just off on it's own until it got captured and experimented on.

Rom was originally a human who was turned into a Great One Artificially by experiments with various forms of blood and insight att he cost of completely destroying her mind (Vacuous is referring to this state of mindlessness. The Japanese version calls her retarded.) Even then, it's implied that she's instinctively holding back the worst of the madness: Everything goes to Hell when you kill her.

And the Orphan of Kos is basically the vengeful ghost of a child whose mother was murdered as it was born so that it could be taken and studied until it too died, creating a nightmare realm and dragging into it the souls of everyone responsible for or benefiting from it's mother's murder and forcing them to confront their sins and those of their predecessors.

Only the AMygdala seem to be actively attacking humans without provocation, but as far as I can tell only the specific one that you can encounter as an optional boss is confirmed to be malevolent.

Short version: just because the vast majority of messed up things in Yharnam were the result of humans messing with things on the other side of the cosmic fence does not mean the Lovecraftian horrors were entirely innocent. Of course, the reverse is also true.

Also:

I’m pretty sure the Moon Presence IS Oedon, just saying. Not that really influences anyone’s point, though.

[LordCdrMilitant]

I never really found Chaos Space Marines to be that different back in the day. Different specifics bolted onto the same core.

CSM are also a marine army, yeah.


I'm just not a big fan of them, possibly because my first experience of Deathwatch included us being denied the ability to a) plan, b) scout, c) check orbital scans, or d) sneak in through the back door before commencing the blazing guns*. Always like Dark Heresy more, maybe it's because the PCs are going to spend their first few sessions in way over their head ad underequipped, it encourages solutions other than 'set it on fire'.

Mainly 'let's raid the local Imperial Guard base for equipment', but players learn slowly.

* Space Marines are not stupid, and I realised right away that walking into this place through the front door should have resulted in a melta shot to the helmet, at the very least once we reached the supposed underground tunnels. I wanted to gather information from orbit, fly down to the nearest city still recieving ships, do a forced march to the complex, find the tradesman's entrance, find the underground tunnel undetected if possible, then loudly annouce that the Adeptus Astartes are here and go in guns blazing. Instead the Inquisition apparently bundled us into a drop pod without letting us see the building plan and couldn't even get us through the roof, we had to march in the front door while they were setting off the alarm. He had a really bad reaction to the word 'scout', as well as 'melta gun' and 'I paid XP to add it to my Wargear'.

Speaking of being in over their head, one of the things I have found that I really like about Wrath and Glory compared to the FFG40k RPG's is that the party doesn't start as incompetent at everything, and are at least what is expected of a baseline unit of their faction.

A character in the deathwatch or taken as an acolyte is a veteran of their organization, but at character generation in DH & DW, you'd be lucky to be as competent as a basic trooper. The most egregious case is the Sister of Battle class in 2e, who starts as some kind of initiate, not even a base 9 point BSS.

I think it's really nice that the classes are literally the codex troop entries in W&G, so it's very easy to start as at least a competent private and develop from there.

[Lord Torath]

I'm just not a big fan of them, possibly because my first experience of Deathwatch included us being denied the ability to a) plan, b) scout, c) check orbital scans, or d) sneak in through the back door before commencing the blazing guns*. Always like Dark Heresy more, maybe it's because the PCs are going to spend their first few sessions in way over their head ad underequipped, it encourages solutions other than 'set it on fire'.I feel for you, but that's just an obnoxious GM. My GM gets us orbital maps, details of the relevant hive sections (if not of all the buildings making up that section), and likely enemy strengths. And while we don't always get to choose our insertion points (we usually do), we always get some time to plan before climbing in the thunderhawk/droppod/boarding torpeedo. For us it usually goes mission briefing - planning session - requisition - deployment. And ever since I read the Universal Brotherhood file (Shadowrun), if they are available, my characters always bring recording devices.

[LordCdrMilitant]

I feel for you, but that's just an obnoxious GM. My GM gets us orbital maps, details of the relevant hive sections (if not of all the buildings making up that section), and likely enemy strengths. And while we don't always get to choose our insertion points (we usually do), we always get some time to plan before climbing in the thunderhawk/droppod/boarding torpeedo. For us it usually goes mission briefing - planning session - requisition - deployment. And ever since I read the Universal Brotherhood file (Shadowrun), if they are available, my characters always bring recording devices.

That's usually how I set it up.
First, at the beginning of the session, the Watch Master assigns them their mission. I often let them pick their mission from two or three.
Then they attend the briefing with the Inquisitor Lord whose field agents have gathered intelligence and prepared dossiers and objectives so they're not dropping in blind. Usually there's some complications that they don't know about or don't have precise details on that will force the party to adapt on the mission. Sometimes, the situation is "our agents found something but weren't able to send us the details, meet up with them/find the dead drop to learn what they know," and that's when the party knows that **** really hit the fan.
Then they go to the master of the forge, and pick out their gear for the mission. This is by far the longest step, since this is also when the party plans how to approach it. They're also always afforded one 1 module for their Corvus Blackstar, and usually afforded one vehicle from the motor pool to take with if they need it.
Finally, they board their frigate that will take them to the mission and it begins [and begins to go wrong. These are PC's after all.]

[dspeyer]

* If the DM is clearly trying to run a horror/suspense game in which we have no outside support, my character's first priority should not be obtaining outside support
** Creating an entire secret government agency to support us is right out

* Just because the game is set "in the real world" doesn't mean that my character can buy anything I can find advertised online cheap
** It's my own fault that I now get ads for 1-pentyl-isocyanide all over the internet
*** Any government watch lists I got added to are also my own fault

* "I don't know about that danger in-character" is not a good reason to lead the party into a TPK
** Nor is "I'm not very attached to this character yet"

* If my original character concept was "Especially Fascist Cop", I should not be the party conscience.

[Rater202]

*May not interrupt gameplay in order to make an impassioned argument that Darth Imperius was the only true Sith and an ideal to aspire to.
** May not openly idealize Sith Lords when I'm playing a Sith.
***Even ones who are better people than most of the Jedi who were around in their time.

[JAL_1138]

*In a cinematic espionage game with a serious tone, my character may not hire a mariachi band to follow him around playing the James Bond theme.
**My character’s backstory may not be a spoof of anything in the Metal Gear Solid series.
***At no point in his life was my character a rejected Cobra Unit operative called “The Depraved Indifference To Human Life.”

[braveheart]

* I am no longer allowed to use my knowledge of a player's IRL sexual preferences to make an NPC to seduce his character.
**I may have gone to far

[Anonymouswizard]

* I am no longer allowed to use my knowledge of a player's IRL sexual preferences to make an NPC to seduce his character.
**I may have gone to far

* My PC may no longer be designed sheer my ideal partner.
** The GM doesn't care if everybody does it sometimes, they don't want me to be playing a caricature of them.
*** If I have a crush on the GM, or any other player, I am to leave it by the door when playing the game.

Not actually all happened together yet, but the individual parts have and I've moved past the likelihood of it all happening together. Mostly.

[dspeyer]

* I am no longer allowed to use my knowledge of a player's IRL sexual preferences to make an NPC to seduce his character.
** Just because the character was (literally) a bear does not automatically make him gay
*** Just because the seduction rules don't mention sexual orientation doesn't mean the entire setting is bi

[TrashTrash]

* I cannot curse out the king of the Gnomes in Halfling because I'm in a bad mood, no matter how controlled I keep my facial expressions and body language.
** I must remember that the roll determining whether the King understood me was a fluke, and cannot/should not be counted on again.
*** I cannot ask a party member to cover for my sudden speech in Halfling by telling the king it was an ancient greeting for royalty.

* I'm not allowed to call the warlock with anger issues an idiot to his face.
** I'm not allowed to follow up with an insult about his mother.
*** I'm not allowed to purposefully heal the party member on the opposite side of the combat zone from the warlock out of spite.
**** I'm not allowed to join the warlock's crime syndicate and immediately start a civil war.
***** I'm not allowed to be embarrassed IC by the name of the crime syndicate if OOC I approved the name.

* If the rest of the party is made up of chaotic stupid characters, I can't assume that we'll have a full healer when I make my character.
** If my character only has three spell slots, I shouldn't spend two on the same person if other people need healing.
*** I can't cast Hail of Thorns when a character on low HP is in the effect zone, even if I'm unaligned with the person in question at the time.
**** Attempting to justify putting another player on death saves by saying "Chill out, I'll heal you, it's not a big deal" is not tactful and should not be done under any circumstances.

* If the Fighter hoists my Tiefling into the air like it's nothing, I'm not allowed to use a reaction to punch him in the face with her tail.
** Or headbutt him when he lets me down.
*** Or do any of this in a plot-relevant area we could get kicked out of if we have a brawl in the entrance.

[Flyingbooks42]

*The GM may not make the players fight Tucker's Kobolds
**The party may not be Tucker's Kobolds
***These two things can especially not happen at the same time
****If one group of kobolds defeats he other they will not be "tuckered out"

[Wookieetank]

*The GM may not make the players fight Tucker's Kobolds
**The party may not be Tucker's Kobolds
***These two things can especially not happen at the same time
****If one group of kobolds defeats he other they will not be "tuckered out"

*****May not have the Kobolds fighting over flags.
******Particularly if one side is red and the other blue.
*******Resolving this with everyone having purple flags, while logical, stumps the DM on what to do next.

[Telok]

Although we did pay the points for the luxury crew quarters on the spaceship, and that does entitle the character to a vodka jello shot filled Olympic sized swimming/mating pool in their quarters...

* The space pirate space walrus, despite being the fastest, most flexible, and most charismatic character in the party, does not get a bonus to his intimidation checks for describing his cabin.

** Can't use a weird combo of intimidation, bluff, and vodka jello shot filled Olympic sized swimming/mating pool, for a seduction attempt.

*** Throwing in a polymorph potion as an enticement doesn't help.

**** Not allowed to spend 3/4ths of 14th level wealth-by-level on magically enhanced pheromone perfume.

[Rockphed]

If we are tasked with starting a back-up colony we should at least attempt to have some genetic variance.
* Half the population being female is not sufficient genetic variance. That was the base assumption.
** Recruiting only people with Perform: Banjo is probably going to back-fire somehow.
*** Perform: Banjo does not provide a bonus to Craft: Bondo.
**** Even if it did, bondo is not going to help fix an interstellar craft.
***** No, we are not rafting to Alpha Centauri.
****** The space gremlins are not "tasty varmits".

[Rater202]

*My life's goal cannot be to "become one of those monsters that sleeps for decades, centuries, or millennia at a time, wakes up, eats some stuff, then goes back to sleep."

[Telok]

* Optical implant lasers are npc assassin plot devices that go in an eye. They may not be repurposed for other body parts no matter how non-optimal it is.

** Hideaway weapon implants are for cyberlimbs. They are not available for non-limb implantation. Not even if there is room or you get a special cyber part.

*** Anything involving lasers in breasts, or rectums is banned.

**** Double NO on explosives, electro-rifles, and sonic cannons.

[TeChameleon]

* When dealing with a demonic shapeshifter disguised as an innocent halfling child, there are better ways to unmask it than putting the kid in a burlap sack, tying it to a tree, and smashing the sack with a warhammer.
** No matter how entertaining the moment of stunned "Uh..." that got out of the DM was.

[danielxcutter]

* When dealing with a demonic shapeshifter disguised as an innocent halfling child, there are better ways to unmask it than putting the kid in a burlap sack, tying it to a tree, and smashing the sack with a warhammer.
** No matter how entertaining the moment of stunned "Uh..." that got out of the DM was.

Did you KNOW the “child” was actually a demon?

[Guizonde]

Did you KNOW the “child” was actually a demon?

everybody knows halfling children are the spawn of dark forces.

[TeChameleon]

Did you KNOW the “child” was actually a demon?
As tempted as I am to say 'why would that matter?', yeah, had a pretty good idea IC and knew perfectly well OOC.

[Rater202]

If the plan involves distracting the King, I should verify whether or not his harem is a fantasy "lots of concubines" harem or historical "room in the palace where the king's wives, but also his mother, unmarried aunts, unmarried sisters, unmarried daughters, and small children live" before making claims about those women to draw the King's ire to my self.

[danielxcutter]

I mean, if your job is to piss him off that’s actually going to work even better... though if your character would know that, I think the DM should probably tell you that first.

[EricAlvin]

* We can not call an Ogre we have come across "Shrek".
** We can not call the previously-mentioned Ogre's female companion "Fiona" either.

[Telok]

* I am not allowed "Favoured Enemy: The Plot"
** I am not allowed "Favoured Enemy: Fourth Wall"
*** I am not allowed to choose my favoured enemy. The DM will choose for me.

* I am not allowed "Profession: Honourable Lord High Horse Thief"
** I am not allowed "Profession: Your Mother"
*** I am not allowed to choose my character's profession. The DM will choose for me.

* I am not allowed to play Mr. Smitey the Lawful Good elitist ageist sexist atheist hedonist bigamist racist masochist surrealist extremist misogynist (did I miss anything?) very angry paladin.
** "To challenge my roleplaying skills" is not an excuse to play a character that is D&D LG and D&D LE and D&D CN all at the same time.
*** I am not allowed to choose my alignment. The DM will choose for me.

* I am only going to be allowed to play Sankis Gatinbomrek the moderately insane beardless dwarf until the DM googles Boatmurdered. And only because I used the dwarven name Koganusan.

[Zetakya]

* I am only going to be allowed to play Sankis Gatinbomrek the moderately insane beardless dwarf until the DM googles Boatmurdered. And only because I used the dwarven name Koganusan.

Koganusân.

The circumflex is important, otherwise you're using Humantongue for "Heart"

[Rater202]

*People tend to get uncomfortable watching someone slaughter, gut, skin, and butcher a wild deer using the same scalpel you used to perform emergency surgery with earlier that day.
**Especially if you didn't wash it first.
***Keeping the leftovers in the same storage container as medical cadavers us right out.

[Telok]

*People tend to get uncomfortable watching someone slaughter, gut, skin, and butcher a wild deer using the same scalpel you used to perform emergency surgery with earlier that day.
**Especially if you didn't wash it first.
***Keeping the leftovers in the same storage container as medical cadavers us right out.

LUNCH!!!

* Pre-emptively self banned from playing characters whose normal food source is other dead PCs.
** May not claim that the funny hat makes it OK.

[Rockphed]

LUNCH!!!

* Pre-emptively self banned from playing characters whose normal food source is other dead PCs.
** May not claim that the funny hat makes it OK.

*** The other PCs dying often enough that I actually can live on their corpses does not make it better.

[Anonymouswizard]

*** The other PCs dying often enough that I actually can live on their corpses does not make it better.

**** Even if I'm an absolute pacifist.

[Rater202]

*The Sharingan is a derivative, genetic ability derived from the millennia-old divine ancestry of the Uchiha clan. It is powered by mental stress and negative emotions and is linked to the same traits that cause extreme emotional responses and a disposition to mental instability. It s not to be used to cheat at Dance Dance revolution.

[Yora]

My players tried to infiltrate a temple that they think has been usurped by an evil god. There was some oldschool Charlie Chaplin comedy with everyone running around the outside and inside of the building and locking and unlocking doors in an attempt to outflank each other, which eventually resulted in all the remaining cultists being locked out of their temple and the PCs being trapped inside with the high priest they knocked unconscious. They already announced that they want to keep him as a hostage and negotiate a retreat with the cultists outside.

The one spell they saw the priest cast during their fight was command. I don't think any of the players are aware that command only requires a verbal component.

[danielxcutter]

My players tried to infiltrate a temple that they think has been usurped by an evil god. There was some oldschool Charlie Chaplin comedy with everyone running around the outside and inside of the building and locking and unlocking doors in an attempt to outflank each other, which eventually resulted in all the remaining cultists being locked out of their temple and the PCs being trapped inside with the high priest they knocked unconscious. They already announced that they want to keep him as a hostage and negotiate a retreat with the cultists outside.

The one spell they saw the priest cast during their fight was command. I don't think any of the players are aware that command only requires a verbal component.

...and what happened then?

[Spore]

* I may play a Cleric of Deneir, the Divine Scribe.
** I may even reference the Divine Metatext in my roleplaying.
*** I may not subtly try to infiltrate and tear down the fourth wall by referencing the metatext.

* We can use Arcane Mark on stones to find each other in times where our group is disbanded.
** The DM does however limit its uses to a few individual castings to keep track of.
*** My final plan should not be get the feat that allows eidetic memory, and then create a Sword Coast "internet".
**** I may not replace the plan of killing Mystra, and rebranding the Weave as the Web.

[Anonymouswizard]

* Turning wool into pure francium should not be anywhere in the plan.
** I am to admit that the game designers didn't write the Wizend's abilities with scientists or enginers in mind.
*** Turning anything into neutronium is banned.
**** Any plan which involves creating materials with a decent chance of a TPK will get me a new character.

Seriously, depending on how you read that ability it goes from a little bit borked (with cheap materials and a way to craft them you can wreak havoc with the economy) to insane (yes, RAW you can turn anything you can craft into neutronium, oh the gravitational disortions). It's probably the most powerful of the Seeming abilities by far, even if technically it requires more effort to see benefits.

[Telok]

* I may no longer drop a 10 pound wheel of cheese on the battle mat to represent my spell casting.
** I must replace all minis damaged in such an act.

[Yora]

My players decided to interrogate the capture priest in the main hall of the temple. He just cast command at them with his hands tied to release him, and they all failed their save. Unfortunately, He couldn't heal himself without using his hands, so he didn't make it out the door before they realized what happened.
I think from now on, all my hostile priests will have command prepared. :smalltongue:

[JAL_1138]

*Must not gradually turn the game group’s Discord server into an alcohol-review blog.

[Anonymouswizard]

*Must not gradually turn the game group’s Discord server into an alcohol-review blog.

So it shouldn't be like a gaming group?

* Should not restart the lager/ale argument again.
** Lager being served chilled is not because lager drinkers don't like beer, and I should stop insisting that it is
* May not keep the Thor in Thursday.
** Even if I have both mead and wenches.

[JAL_1138]

So it shouldn't be like a gaming group?

* Should not restart the lager/ale argument again.
** Lager being served chilled is not because lager drinkers don't like beer, and I should stop insisting that it is
* May not keep the Thor in Thursday.
** Even if I have both mead and wenches.

It’s not so much the reviewing in and of itself, it’s that it began to clog up channels set aside for other topics on the Discord during a period in which most games have stalled out and preparations are underway to start up new ones. Now that it’s moved to its own channel on the server, it should be fine, so long as it doesn’t further stall out game preparations due to inebriation from too-wide a sampling of various waters-of-life, mainly whisk(e)ys, and the corresponding hangovers.
Depends. The only thing really separating lager and ale is that ale uses top-fermenting yeast and lager uses bottom-fermenting yeast (which generally works better at slightly lower temperatures than top-fermenting yeast, such as in a cave, particularly deep cellar, region with colder winters generally, or mountain region). Serving temperatures aren’t so much a function of lager versus ale but rather light vs dark; there are plenty of light ales, such as certain Belgian Trappist ales, that benefit from a good chill, and darker lagers, such as German Bocks and Dunkels, that benefit from being served slightly warmer. In general, the darker the beer, whether ale or lager, the warmer it should be served (within reason; it should generally still be well-below room temperature), and vice-versa (but even very light beers such as Kolsch should never be “ice cold,” temperatures below around 34°F will inhibit flavor and aromatics. “Ice cold” beer is the sign of cheap beer, generally, used to mask offputting flavors from the lower production quality, and a frequent resort of low-quality macrobrews). IPAs are a classic example of an ale that generally calls for a colder serving temperature than, say, a Schwarzbier lager.

[Anonymouswizard]

It’s not so much the reviewing in and of itself, it’s that it began to clog up channels set aside for other topics on the Discord during a period in which most games have stalled out and preparations are underway to start up new ones. Now that it’s moved to its own channel on the server, it should be fine, so long as it doesn’t further stall out game preparations due to inebriation from too-wide a sampling of various waters-of-life, mainly whisk(e)ys, and the corresponding hangovers.
Depends. The only thing really separating lager and ale is that ale uses top-fermenting yeast and lager uses bottom-fermenting yeast (which generally works better at slightly lower temperatures than top-fermenting yeast, such as in a cave, particularly deep cellar, region with colder winters generally, or mountain region). Serving temperatures aren’t so much a function of lager versus ale but rather light vs dark; there are plenty of light ales, such as certain Belgian Trappist ales, that benefit from a good chill, and darker lagers, such as German Bocks and Dunkels, that benefit from being served slightly warmer. In general, the darker the beer, whether ale or lager, the warmer it should be served (within reason; it should generally still be well-below room temperature), and vice-versa (but even very light beers such as Kolsch should never be “ice cold,” temperatures below around 34°F will inhibit flavor and aromatics. “Ice cold” beer is the sign of cheap beer, generally, used to mask offputting flavors from the lower production quality, and a frequent resort of low-quality macrobrews). IPAs are a classic example of an ale that generally calls for a colder serving temperature than, say, a Schwarzbier lager.

The rule I learnt for the UK was that you chill lagers in a five degree fridge and ale in a five to ten degree cellar, and then serve them at similar temperatures. Part of this has to do with UK climate, in the winter outside of a city you can store ale in a shed.

I'll also note that chilling IPA to the same level as a pale lager (you don't get many dark lagers over here) is basically consisted a no-no here.

But my main point was making fun of my own snobbery.

[Guizonde]

dalarium
*not all cops in the same city share one of two possible names.
**they are not supposed to be stereotypical "broom up the rear end" types either.
***no, the police does not automatically beat people into becoming upstanding citizens for the most trivial of infractions.
****despite precedent.
*****all of the above? never again.

dark heresy
from the players:
*no more making the dmpc inquisitor cry.
**no more making fun of the dmpc inquisitor for his fear of flying.

from the dmpc inquisitor:
*no more giving the pariah pc more insanity points than the sum total of all the horrors they've seen until that point.

*goddammit, choose another pair of cop names besides "gérard" and "roger"! those names really stick out in dark heresy!

[LordCdrMilitant]

*If the points value of the encounter is larger than most real 40k games, there are too many Orks.
**Especially if 2000 of those points are in exclusively boyz.
***If the encounter could be represented as a tabletop force, it should at least be battle-forged. You can't just have 1 HQ for 7 Heavy Supports, 2 Dedicated Transports, 2 Fast Attacks, 1 Elites, and 11 Troops

[JAL_1138]

The rule I learnt for the UK was that you chill lagers in a five degree fridge and ale in a five to ten degree cellar, and then serve them at similar temperatures. Part of this has to do with UK climate, in the winter outside of a city you can store ale in a shed.

I'll also note that chilling IPA to the same level as a pale lager (you don't get many dark lagers over here) is basically consisted a no-no here.

But my main point was making fun of my own snobbery.

I wouldn’t serve an IPA as cold as a Pilsner, no, but maybe colder than, say, stout or porter. Tames the hops down a smidge—but then again I’m not much of a hop-head and some particularly potent IPAs are a bit too piney for me. For pale beers I tend to gravitate towards slightly tart, almost citrusy beers that take it a little easy on the hops like Kolsch or Gose. Darker beers, give me a good nut-brown ale or a liquid-bread porter.

Although in truth I’m not much of a beer-drinker in the first place; I’m mainly keen on whisk(e)y, which I generally only have a couple of ways: either neat at room temperature, or every once in a blue moon I’ll make an Old-Fashioned or even more rarely a Whiskey Sour. Mostly a bourbon fan, originally being from Kentucky and whatnot, but occasionally I’ll dabble in other styles—picked up an Irish whiskey recently that I’ve been particularly enjoying.

*Must not sidetrack forum threads with alcohol discussion either.

[Rater202]

*Must not give the Yakuza a living, reusable weapon of mass destruction.

*Should probably settle on how my character's powers work before play starts.
**And it's probably not a good idea to rant in-character about power mechanics when we should be on a mission.
***Even if studying said power mechanics is basically my job.

[Robert's Dragon]

* I am not allowed to kill and reincarnate the nimblewright
** even if he "just wanted to be a real boy"

[Rater202]

*I cannot ruin an easy scam by being myself.

[dspeyer]

(Inspired by the recent alcohol derail)

* If terrible miso soup with rice noodles and tofu is a DC 2 wealth check, a decent version of the same dish shouldn't be DC 15 or higher.
** I should focus my world-building on things that will show up during gameplay

[TeChameleon]

* I am no longer allowed to try to surrender to minor puzzle encounters just because they're annoying me.

[danielxcutter]

* I am no longer allowed to try to surrender to minor puzzle encounters just because they're annoying me.

*I am not allowed to beat minor puzzle encounters over the head until they surrender either.

[Rater202]

*Solving writers block by writing a bunch of stuff for a game your in doesn't always work.

[moonfly7]

*I am no longer allowed to play characters that are so strange and weird they make my DM want to kill himself.
**especially not the insane fighter who rides a bear, carrying every weapon in game around in a bag of holding, who is bent on killing Time for ruining his life.
***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.
*****I cannot, under any circumstances, cast control water on the holy water to turn it into a whirlpool around a rakshasa to deal over a million points of damage.

[danielxcutter]

*I am no longer allowed to play characters that are so strange and weird they make my DM want to kill himself.
**especially not the insane fighter who rides a bear, carrying every weapon in game around in a bag of holding, who is bent on killing Time for ruining his life.
***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.
*****I cannot, under any circumstances, cast control water on the holy water to turn it into a whirlpool around a rakshasa to deal over a million points of damage.

I’m pretty sure it really isn’t that powerful to be honest.

[moonfly7]

I’m pretty sure it really isn’t that powerful to be honest.

It is when you factor in the fact that every flask of holy water is only 1 pound, and 1 pound translates to 0.45 liters. It takes about 3.7 liters to the gallon, and that's if you ignore that some of the weight is from the flask(which we did in this scenario) since a single less than .45 liters of holy water does 2d6 radiant damage to undead and fiends, 500 thousand gallons of it easily breaks a million without rolling. There's a reason I'm not allowed to do it anymore(and honestly the DM in question was having self depreciation problems and wanted to End that game fast to start a better one he could feel like he did good with. He asked me to help end it, hence the holy water.)

[Rater202]

*I cannot play a female vampire who learned how to shapeshift into a small child in order to escape the compulsion to dress sexy and flirt with everyone by playing chicken the laws of narrative causality.

[dspeyer]

* Especially not if it doesn't work

[Lord Raziere]

* My M&M hero concept may not be a harmless saturday morning cartoon villain who was so incompetent that when they tried to rob a bank they had bad timing and ended up foiling someone elses bank robbery and other heroes mistook them for a hero in the process.
** May not go along with their assumptions out of fear of them defeating me
*** May not have an entire career of being an accidental hero.
**** The ending of the campaign cannot be revealing that I was actually a villain to the other heroes all along and attempting to take over the world at one final attempt at my true goal, only to be foiled and everyone assuming that is just a normal heroic breakdown into turning temporarily evil before being brought back to "normal".

[Telok]

* My M&M hero concept may not be a harmless saturday morning cartoon villain who was so incompetent that when they tried to rob a bank they had timing and ended foiling someone elses bank robbery and other heroes mistook them for a hero in the process.
** May not go along with their assumptions out of fear of them defeating me
*** May not have an entire career of being an accidental hero.
**** The ending of the campaign cannot be revealing that I was actually a villain to the other heroes all along and attempting to take over the world at one final attempt at my true goal, only to be foiled and everyone assuming that is just a normal heroic breakdown into turning temporarily evil before being brought back to "normal".

Nah, you're cool. I did something like that back on the City of Heros mmo.

* I must resist the urge to have the PCs actions come back to bite them in the form of a mega starship battle where the daemon lord's ships are shooting tarasques at the PC's dark eldarin pirate fleet.

** My superhero concept may not be temporaraly turning people into rubber and punching them for 50 meters of knockback.

*** Not allowed to break out a compass and check angles before punching people.

[Rater202]

*If the gimmick of the game is that we're all greatly powered/skilled people time-displaced to Tatooine during the time that Qui-Gon found Annakin with the goal of derailing the Star Wars franchise as much as possible, and the rest of the characters are a Lightside leaning Twi'lik Grey Jedi from after the fall of h Galactic Empire, a full conversion cyborg molded on the improvement of General Grievous's design created to hunt down rogue Jedi and other evil force users in the distant future of the Legends timeline, a random clone trooper from the Clone Wars who broke out of his programming when given the order to turn on the Jedi only after killing his commander, and Mandalorian(Not that one,) all fallen through time via strange portals and the will of the force, I can't be a Sith Pureblood Darth Imperious frozen in Carbonite.
**Cannot make a game of breaking Jedi's brains by being a Lightside Dark Lord of the Sith.

[Lord Raziere]

* May not be an atheist jedi out to disprove the will of the force so that it may be studied from a purely scientific perspective like gravity or magnetism
** also may not be the little beeping droid sidekick who is somehow hypercompetent
*** may turn out to be a tiny weapons platform bristling with guns underneath my charming astromech exterior

* may not play schrodinger's cat with memories of infinite parallel versions of myself
** May not go around proclaiming woman older than is potentially my adopted mother and must be protected
*** May not remember every town as my hometown and must be potentially protected
**** May not ask every new person I meet if they remember me
***** my teammate is not a moogle, they're a mithra, even if in another universe they are.
****** may not misremember the place I'm infiltrating as the place I'm actually working at.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

***I am no longer aloud to replicate holy water using the real life 50% composition rule.
****I cannot use this rule to create 500 thousand gallons of holy water.

I googled it because I was curious, that's not how the real world rule works. Holy water has to be at least 50% originally blessed water. So if you have 1 liter you can double that to 2 liters, but if you then try to double it again instead of 4 liters you end up with 0, because none of it is holy water anymore. Only homeopathic medicine grows stronger the more you dilute it.

***** I cannot use dilution to create oceans full of super strong homeopathic holy water.

[TeChameleon]

* I am no longer allowed to read the listings of treasure drops carefully, as it appears to lead to me dialing my fighter's AC up high enough that the latest mini-boss was reduced to swearing impotently at me. Apparently the DM finds this a bit demoralizing :smalltongue:

[JAL_1138]

*My Paladin may not be an expy of Solaire of Astora.
**May not name the character “Heliakos of Walddorf”
***Walddorf is not a neighboring country of Astora.
****There is absolutely not a famous inn on the Walddorf-Astora border.

[danielxcutter]

*My Paladin may not be an expy of Solaire of Astora.
**May not name the character “Heliakos of Walddorf”
***Walddorf is not a neighboring country of Astora.
****There is absolutely not a famous inn on the Walddorf-Astora border.

...Pelorite?

[JAL_1138]

...Pelorite?

Worships a sun deity, but from a homebrew setting with its own pantheon.

[Rater202]

*There is a difference between a cult and a harem.

[Beowulf DW]

*There is a difference between a cult and a harem.
...Depends on the cult and one's own preferences, really.

*May no longer use monks as anti-dragon ballista ammunition.
**Even if it succeeded.
***Especially if it succeed.
****Even if the aforementioned success made the blonde elf ranger want to get in the monk's pants.
*****I am no longer allowed to play monks with access to ballistae.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

...Depends on the cult and one's own preferences, really.
I'd argue that realistically it might depend more on the harem.

The famous Ottoman harem, the main real world example of such a thing, was less of a collection of wives, and more of a collection of daughters. Impressionable but intelligent girls from poor backgrounds were brought to the palace to receive the upbringing and education of a noblewoman. The point of the construction was that these girls could be married off for political gains. (So I'm not arguing this was a great deal overall, I'm arguing the harem wasn't one giant sex thing.) More daughters, more political marriages, more power. Many if not most or all of these sultans did have multiple wives, but that's not what most women in the harem were. The educational part of the program was such a success that there is now a period known as "the sultanate of women", during which the women in the harem (usually led not just by the sultan's wifes but his mother and the other wifes of the previous sultan as well) had a profound say in the way the country was run. Because ones you have raised a private army of top politicians and diplomats you'd be a fool not to listen to them.

There have probably been quite a few cults that are closer to the fantasy version of a harem than to that.

[Man on Fire]

* "Aragorn with a side of Drizzt and Legolas" is a valid character concept but only as long as it is not followed by "Played by Kermit the Frog".

* My character is not the arch-nemesis of Harambe the gorilla.

* Assume from now on potential combat enemies do not understand sarcasm.

* Next time I use pirate slang I am to assume no one else at the table knows that "blow a man off handsomely" means "kill a man swiftly".

* Not allowed to try to set the entire storage of dark magic artifacts on fire.

* If I slip on marbles and fall off the stairs I do not automatically land on the evil sorcerer who has slipped the same way right before me.

* I am to assume people scared of a talking skeleton aren't just rude about his mohawk.

* My Halfling is to stop putting feet on every table she sees.

* Country Roads Take Me Home is not an old dwarven song.

* Not allowed to have my new character write romantic ballads about my dead character and a guy he hated with passion.

* No longer allowed to hide dwarf by rolling him in a carpet

* Not allowed to pin every crime committed by the party on my dead character.

[Tohron]

* Not allowed to pin every crime committed by the party on my dead character.

**Especially not the ones committed after he died.

[Rater202]

*I am not the god of small children who freak out over things that kids shouldn't have to worry about.

[Kelb_Panthera]

*I am not the god of small children who freak out over things that kids shouldn't have to worry about.

*yet

10 character minimum.

[Lord Raziere]

*I am not the god of small children who freak out over things that kids shouldn't have to worry about.


*yet

10 character minimum.

* unless I'm playing Nobilis, in which case thats honestly a normal if wordy Estate to have, or at least one of its properties.

*May not the God of Secrets Revealed
** Cannot reveal myself to be even better at planning than Batman
*** Or reveal that I'm actually stronger than strongest character to ever exist
**** or reveal that I'm actually invincible all along
***** or reveal that I'm everyone's sibling, mother or father
****** may not reveal that I'm actually thirteen weasels operating an omnipotent, omniscient suit of power armor.
******* may not reveal that everyone else was merely pumpkins all along and that I'm a crazy person talking to them.

[Telok]

* When I make saganaki as a snack on game night I an not allowed to hold my players character sheets over the flames and laugh maniacally.

** Also not allowed to eat melted cheese covered bits of charred character sheets untill after the TPK.

[danielxcutter]

* When I make saganaki as a snack on game night I an not allowed to hold my players character sheets over the flames and laugh maniacally.

** Also not allowed to eat melted cheese covered bits of charred character sheets untill after the TPK.

What’s saganaki?

[Kelb_Panthera]

What’s saganaki?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saganaki

[Telok]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saganaki

It turned out the only local supply of the right kind of cheese is a restraunt supply place. Luckily they aren't picky about order size and I ended up with a 5kg cheese wheel, their smallest size.

I had a happy.

[Bohandas]

* while bardic music can aid skill checks there is no such thing as the bagpiper’s quiet song even if it does somehow aid a stealth attempt.

What about 4'33'' (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4%E2%80%B233%E2%80%B3)?

[Mandark]

* Country Roads Take Me Home is not an old dwarven song.
.

You need to sing the correct words
https://m.youtube.com/watchv=newzff4heb8
Or
https://m.youtube.com/watchv=ri3fkqa9-ia

They are basically the same thing.

[thorr-kan]

* My Halfling is to stop putting feet on every table she sees.
No, she's not.


* Country Roads Take Me Home is not an old dwarven song.
That's a LIE! Make'em eat those words!

:smallcool:

[Man on Fire]

You need to sing the correct words
https://m.youtube.com/watchv=newzff4heb8
Or
https://m.youtube.com/watchv=ri3fkqa9-ia

They are basically the same thing.

Sorry, the links do not work :smallconfused:

[Mandark]

Sorry, the links do not work :smallconfused:

I'll fix it when I get off mobile.

[Guizonde]

*tempestus scions are not automatically friends with the pariah.
**despite the dice saying so.

*the tech-priestess' pict-recorder privileges are now revoked in a 50m radius around the tempestus scion shower room.

[ideasmith]

I'll fix it when I get off mobile.

While we wait for Mandark to get of mobile, this might be what he had in mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5PLS8MMaE

[Lord Raziere]

* May not go full anime
** May not fight for a potential hometown
*** may not go full anime for a potential hometown only to find out that its not and thus take the full anime moment back
**** May not go full anime for the next town over because thats all also potentially my hometown all over again.

[Rater202]

*Must have more than one sleepable surface before inviting someone I just met to crash in my apartment if they need to.

[Personification]

*Must have more than one sleepable surface before inviting someone I just met to crash in my apartment if they need to.

** A sleepable surface is not defined as one on which it is possible to cast the spell Sleep

[Lord Raziere]

* The Chuunin Exams are not a surprise adoption agency of genin I like
** Especially if those involve faking the deaths of the genin to fly under the radar of their leaders
*** no one will buy the "ninja bears killed them all" lie
**** no matter how much I mindwash them, the kidnapped genin are not my new sisters.
***** Nor can I take this further and surprise adopt a better mother.
****** My brotherkage will not approve of this, no matter how I spin this.

[Rater202]

* The Chuunin Exams are not a surprise adoption agency of genin I like
** Especially if those involve faking the deaths of the genin to fly under the radar of their leaders
*** no one will buy the "ninja bears killed them all" lie
**** no matter how much I mindwash them, the kidnapped genin are not my new sisters.
***** Nor can I take this further and surprise adopt a better mother.
****** My brotherkage will not approve of this, no matter how I spin this.

*Nor can they be part of anyone's harem.
**It's kind of creepy that the ten-year-old girl is open about wanting a harem.
***...I swear to god if she starts building guns in her basement.

[Man on Fire]

While we wait for Mandark to get of mobile, this might be what he had in mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5PLS8MMaE

Thanks, will try to sing it next time.

Some more from my last games

* Not allowed to try to goad a pacifist into saving more lives than I kill
* The entire party is no longer can beg the GM to let us roll if we can resist being attracted to a hot Elf guy
** As only male in the party I am not allowed to join that roll
** We're not allowed to all fail that roll
** Not allowed to make a bet with 2 other players which one will seduce hot Elf guy
*** The DM will NOT give us extra XP if anyone succeeds
*** Not allowed to start untying my tunic in the middle of a conversation with hot Elf guy
*** When another party member tries to get closer to hot Elf guy, I cannot encourage her to try and grab his butt
**** Not allowed to encourage party members to ask hot Elf guy if curtains match the drapes
** Our party is not allowed to be so thirsty to make questgiver Elf NPC feel like he aged 400 years in five minutes

[ideasmith]

Thanks, will try to sing it next time.

You are welcome.

[Mandark]

While we wait for Mandark to get of mobile, this might be what he had in mind:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-5PLS8MMaE

These should work now.
https://youtu.be/RI3fkqA9-IA

Or

https://youtu.be/nEwzFF4HeB8

*maxim 43 should NOT be what you default to when dealing with ancient evil sentient artifacts.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

*I'm not allowed to flank.
**Not even if I'm the rogue.
***We really need to mix up our standard M.O. a little.

[Mandark]

*I'm not allowed to flank.
**Not even if I'm the rogue.
***We really need to mix up our standard M.O. a little.

**** Not allowed to multiclass into bard so I can perform the "Flank Shankin' Boogie"

[dspeyer]

Even in a semi-Lovecraftian pokemon campaign, "Gotta catch 'em all" does not refer to forms of madness.

[Man on Fire]

* The most terrifying song known to all pirates is not "Murmaider"
* Cannot help an NPC blow up folks another player spent last two games befriending, even if they're giant spiders.
* Cannot fall asleep cleaning floors to endear an NPC to us.
* If we try to connect telepathically with a hive mind of insects two minutes of madness is us getting out easily.
* Cannot "unwittingly" show someone a middle finger
* There is no such thing as "telepathic whisper"
* Even if while running away we all get lost in the Underdark and so are our pursuers, we cannot make a contest which one of us sings best Benny Hill theme
* Just because I may not be on the next session doesn't mean my character should "scout ahead" and get lost.

[Rater202]

If I am made entirely out of organic matter and can't assume any alternate forms, I can't claim to be a Decepticon.

[Lord Raziere]

* may not propose that we play a game as five GM's and one player
** the player may not be a super-ultra chosen one of destiny with incredibly powerful abilities
*** the five GM's may not work together to try and come up with as a group, challenges for this singular hero while providing various npcs
**** may not end up becoming five GM's each making their own big bads and trying to out big bad the others
***** The one player may not sit back and watch this with popcorn while egging on the five big bads to destroy each other so that they can kill the last one when they're weak and not expecting it.
****** may not be surprised when this idea turns into a big mess.

[JAL_1138]

*Baba Yaga may not make an appearance in Ravenloft offering a reward for killing Baba Lysaga just on grounds of being an annoying copycat who tries too hard to be creepy.
**Nor would she simply do it herself if Koschei the Deathless wasn’t being even more annoying at the moment, having deliberately interrupted her trip to kill Lysaga with unspecified shenanigans, requiring her full attention be given to a potion she’s brewing.
***Nor is she powerful enough to just leave whenever she feels like it and straight-up ignore the Dark Powers.

*The Mad Mage’s insanity does not extend to breaking the fourth wall.
**Especially not to try to replace his existing statblock with that of an epic-level wizard.
***He especially has not succeeded in doing so in the past, only to regret it because the different mechanics for prior editions meant he couldn’t land an attack roll or pass a skill check and had a terrible armor class.

*Must take the setting and intended tone at least somewhat seriously.

[TeChameleon]

*Baba Yaga may not make an appearance in Ravenloft offering a reward for killing Baba Lysaga just on grounds of being an annoying copycat who tries too hard to be creepy.
**Nor would she simply do it herself if Koschei the Deathless wasn’t being even more annoying at the moment, having deliberately interrupted her trip to kill Lysaga with unspecified shenanigans, requiring her full attention be given to a potion she’s brewing.
***Nor is she powerful enough to just leave whenever she feels like it and straight-up ignore the Dark Powers.
... that frankly doesn't sound all that out-of-character for Baba Yaga. Any of it :smallconfused:

[danielxcutter]

... that frankly doesn't sound all that out-of-character for Baba Yaga. Any of it :smallconfused:

I mean, Vecna was literally capable of ripping the demiplane a new one just to get out. That might not be out of the question for her either.

[Rockphed]

I mean, Vecna was literally capable of ripping the demiplane a new one just to get out. That might not be out of the question for her either.

Baba Yaga's character sheet normally has a very binary set of powers. Under magic it just says "If you don't let my magic work, I will turn you into a toad, boil you for stock, and feed the rest of you to my house".

*I am not allowed to threaten the DM with physical or emotional harm to get my character superpowers.