A Dungeons And Dragons WAAAAAAAAAAGH! [IC]

[JNAProductions]

You step through the portal, and just beyond... The sun shines brightly, birds are chirping, dogs are barking, and in the distance, you can see children playing in a village.

The portal also appears to have lit the area around you on fire.

What will you do?

[PotatoGolem]

Zorgog looks around, taking stock of the situation. It's.. beautiful, like nothing he's ever seen before. He looks to his comrades for an explanation. OI! Wut iz dis place?! Iz we ded?

He considers for a moment. Nah. We'z not ded. We'z tellyported! Alright you lot, I'm gonna go talk to dem grotz an' find out where da fightin' is. He stomps off towards the children, ignoring the fire.

[LimSindull]

Bal steps though the portal and looks around at all the things that need fighting. Somebody been scorchin' here. It was a good start. The Boy wins Bal's attention when he starts talking about grotz.

"Get a snak for da fightin'. Mork knowz ya lot need ta eat propa. Grotz'l do n a pinch."

Bal hoists his claw over his shoulder and starts after Zorgog.

[cybric]

Grozk steps into the portal and is immediately flung 10 feet out of the portal and lands on his face. Why everyone else stepped he was flu g who can say.

He rights himself, grabs his piratey hat off the ground, and pulls his eye patch back over to the "correct" eye.

Arg No no no ya got! Wez ain't ded. Erey time wez go somewhere diffent yuz sayz we ded. Then yaz say we tellyportd well I ain't fallen for it againz...wait hold on wherez you headed? Well dont just leave old Grozk will yea?

With that Grozk fumbles after

[JNAProductions]

Please select a different text color. That's hard to read.

You begin heading over at a good clip-no need to rush TOO much, but this is exciting! As the young, pointy-eared humans see you approach, you hear them scream and start to run. Nothing unusual there, and the little houses they're in look pathetically weak.

Currently, you're about 400' from the village.

[cybric]

Grozk points at the pathetic Hume houses and was just absolutely disgusted by them

Look at dem shaky Hume huts. Nothin' lik good ol fashion orky construcion. Let's knock em down boyz and show em how proper huts get made!

Long ago Grozk had a weakling eldar slice out his throat but he got over it. He actually took the time to install a speaker into his throat to let him talk but mainly cause why not talk louder than everyone else.

It let him shout really load and he yells Waaaaaaagghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about that text color. I meant to do the darker color

Grozk is using thaulmaturgy to amplify his war shout

[JNAProductions]

As Grozk shouts, the last of the children vanish into their homes.

But out steps a single man, tall, and dressed in simple robes. In one hand he carries a staff. "You'd best begone, foul beasts, unless you wish to taste my wrath!" he shouts, just as loud as Grozk.

[PotatoGolem]

Zorgog looks disappointed. Is dere jus' won of you? And youz roight weedy, like a grot. Dat's not much for foightin'. Is you havin' ladz you cud bring fer us to foight?

He draws his pokin' stick.

At least youz reddy to skrap.

[JNAProductions]

"One last chance!" he counters, holding his staff aloft.

Now, you can listen, or you can fight. You're currently some 300' away from him.

If you want to fight, roll initiative.

[roll0] for Mr. Stick Holder.

[LimSindull]

Zogg off 'umie, wat wraff ya got? Ya got a stik dat don't got no poke! Bal looks at the lot beside him.

"Let's do like Mork. WAAAGH!

Bal charges the human.

[roll0]

[cybric]

Wwwwaaaaagghhhhh grozk reaffirms is loud speaker roar. No one yells leader than Grozk


[roll0]

[PotatoGolem]

Thanks for da warnin'. Don't wanna miss da last chance for a skrap! WAAAAAGH!

[roll0]

[JNAProductions]

Your foe raises his staff high, shouting out words of arcane power, and you see above you swirling clouds manifest.

As the last word leaves his mouth, hail begins to pound down, slamming into your bodies and freezing you.

[roll0] bludgeoning and [roll1] cold damage, half on a successful DC 13 Dex save.

In addition, a 20' radius (centered 20' in front of you, for 40' in a straight line) of terrain is now difficult.

[PotatoGolem]

Zorgog fiddles with his Tellyporta as the ice slams into him. OI! There's a whoosh, and a large puff of green smoke. A moment later, he's standing inches away from the human's face. STOP MUCKING AROUND! His eyes glow green, and a ghoulish face briefly appears around the wizard's. Ethereal chains wrap around his legs. FEAR DA KURSE OF MORK!

Action: activate Tellyporta. Bonus action: Dex hex.

[JNAProductions]

"Oh gods!" the man yells, flinching back. He clearly did not expect you to close so fast.

[LimSindull]

Bal charges forward and lifts his Klaw high above his head with both hands. The ground is hard from the human's spell and his foot twists against the frozen earth. He falls with his tusks digging into the soil. A second passess before his head pops up "Waaagh!"

[PotatoGolem]

WAAAAAAGH! Zorgog goes into a frenzy with his pokin' stick, slashing at the wizard with the sharp end and clubbing him with the haft. With each strike, the green mist around the wizard pulses and flares.

Two attacks, then bonus action PM attack, all with hex riders.

damage [roll1]
[roll2] damage [roll3]
[roll4] damage [roll]1d6+1d4+4

[JNAProductions]

Before Zorgog manages to get his blows in, the man steels himself. Charging his hand with a bolt of electricity, he attempts to slam it into Zorgog and flee.

[roll0]
[roll1] electric damage

If it hits, you cannot take reactions until the start of your next turn. In addition, assuming it hits, he'll flee 30' away.

[LimSindull]

Bal scrambles back to his feet. And walks forward to keep his balance better.

"Stupid ground!"

[cybric]

Grozk stands up and makes sure all his bits are still in place before advancing on the hume

[JNAProductions]

The man, wisely, attempts to flee as fast as his legs can carry him.

Dashing away, for 60'. But he does provoke an AoO.

[roll0]

I'll roll for you-any hit from you will put him down, so this will save some time.

Zorgog, though, has none of that, and cuts him down cleanly, sending bits everywhere. He is most definitely dead.

Behind you, you can see the fires spreading a little more.

[PotatoGolem]

Dat was fun, but we need a proppa skrap. Dese 'umies look like dey dunno how to fight. If dere's wun thing you can count on, though, it's dat 'umies know where to find things to fight. Wen I woz a Freeboota, dey told me about all da best fights. Den I'd go fasta than dem and nick all da fightin, hur hur hur.

He goes up to the houses and knocks on the doors. He politely yells in the doors and windows. Excuse me, 'umies, we is looking for a proppa fight. Sorry about krumpin' your weirdboy. Ta make it up to you, we will krump whatever big fighty thing you like nearby. Does you know of anything danjerus and thretening dat needs krumpin'?

[JNAProductions]

Initially, there's no answer. Only some quiet talking, too quiet to be heard properly, from within. But, just before his patience runs out, a woman talks loud enough to be heard through the door. "Um... There's a gladiatorial arena to the north, in Edinborough. They've got really strong things there?"

She seems unsure of herself.

[LimSindull]

Bal marches down to the the houses. He goes into the dead human's house and starts looking around.

'e ain't no got good loot in 'ere." Then Bal starts looking around the human's room to find something to loot.

[roll0]

[JNAProductions]

There are plenty of shiny trinkets, but nothing too interesting until you reach the upstairs cupboards.

Inside are, among the bottles of brandy and wine, four vibrantly colored potions. You can feel a faint whiff of power from them-these are no ordinary drinks!

[LimSindull]

Bal slings a pouch full of straw until it is empty. Then he shoves everything that he can find into the bag and ties it onto his armor.

[PotatoGolem]

Roight. Thank you. Come on you grots, let's get to the fightin'. It'z been too long since we krumped anyfing.

Zorgog stomps off to the north in search of krumpables.

[JNAProductions]

Are you going to travel the road, or just stomp straight north?

[LimSindull]

"Let'z get dis 'umie'z teef! Den we go." Bal moves over to add the human's teeth to his spoils sack. The sack is poorly tied to his armor and clinks when he walks.

[cybric]

While his mates are lootin Grozk waits and then tackles then one by one to the ground and applies his tender healing which takes the form of two heat panels and he presses to wounds to seal them.


[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

[LimSindull]

"Aghhh!" Bal falls to the ground and tries to fight off the painboy. "Let me go, ya git!."

He stands up and looks at the scars on his body. He smiles and nods to Grozk approvingly.

[cybric]

Graw, now you lot back at it again!!!
Look! Dem dumb humies have roads leading righ to them cities. No smart at all like da boys have

[JNAProductions]

After determining no one in the town is worth your time, you stomp your way northwards.

A night passes, with you all finding a good patch of dirt to nap on, and in the morning, you set off again. Just as boredom starts to settle in, you hear something, and round a bend to see that thing.

Off in the distance, you see an orky figure-not dressed as you are, but with skin of green and bulky with muscle-fleeing from a large group of people. The ork is sprinting away from some well-armored people, looking to be about half a dozen of them all told, and beyond them you can see a few pinpoints of people on horseback, rapidly approaching the others.

Due to just rounding the bend, the ork is a mere 60' away, with the people in pursuit some 20' further and gaining.

[LimSindull]

Bal watches the Ork run towards them and laughs, “ ‘e must be a Blood Axez, runnin’ away like that. I’ll call in some rockz.” Bal points at the closest human and yells, “Rockz!”

Calling Sacred Flame (divine strike :smallbiggrin:) when the humans come into range (60ft) DC 14 Dex Save 2d8 damage if failed/ ignores cover.

[JNAProductions]

Do you mean Sacred Flame? Because I think you mean Sacred Flame.

Regardless!

[roll0] vs. DC 14
[roll1]

The human out front takes a blast to the head, but stays trucking. The orc in front, though, calls to you, yelling in orcish "Get them!"

[PotatoGolem]

Hur hur hur, itz zappy time. Taste da lightnin'!

Mork's face appears around the lead human as bolts of green lightning shoot from Zorgog's hand.


Bonus action Dex Hex, action Eldritch Blast.

[roll0] damage [roll1] and [roll2]

[roll3] damage [roll4] and [roll5]

[cybric]

With another blaring blast Grozk gives a might yell tossing just awful insults at the human


Casting toll the dead

If there is another target within 5 ft of the human I get to target him as well thanks to the death domain