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View Full Version : Gamer Humor "Random" Encounters



Greywander
2018-12-03, 05:55 AM
In Town

A person the party has never met before approaches them and asks them to hold an item "for just a second". As soon as they take the item, he runs away, shouting, "It's your problem now!" They get to keep the item.

If they don't take the item, he becomes first irritated, then frantic. If they still don't take the item, another NPC approaches the first and offers an enormous sum of gold for the item, and the two NPCs happily make the exchange, then leave.

In a flash of light, an unkempt man with wild hair and outlandish clothing suddenly appears in the middle of the street. He frantically asks the PCs, "What year is it?!" After they respond, he says, "Great Scott, I went too far!" and disappears in another flash.

A friendly dog approaches the party, begging for food. If fed, two more dogs appear and approach the party. Every time a dog is fed, including feeding the same one more than once, two more dogs appear. If the party continues to feed them, other friendly animals will eventually approach them, including cats, pigeons, crows, rats, squirrels, and whatever else might be appropriate for the setting.

If the party treats the dogs and other animals well, they will warn them of imminent danger by barking, howling, or making whatever other noises are appropriate. It is not necessary to feed them, so long as they aren't attacked or chased away.

If the party attacks or chased the dogs/animals away, then they will flee from the party. From that point on, as long as the party stays in town, anywhere they go they will see dogs (and potentially other animals if things progressed that far) simply staring at them, silently. They will flee if approached, but there will always be another dog staring at them from somewhere else. If the party has any enemies in town, those enemies will always be aware of the location of the PCs as long as they can be seen by at least one dog (or other animal).

A man bumps into one of the male PCs. That PC feels a hand grab his crotch. The man suddenly backs away from the PC with his hands raised in front of him, palms open, knees weak, mom's spaghetti and a mortified expression on his face, blushing furiously. He offers a stuttering apology, claiming, "I-I thought it was your coin purse!" before dashing away. The party might encounter this NPC again later as a reformed pickpocket.

As the party turns down a side road, they are suddenly struck by how quiet it is. There is no sound, not of animals or of people. The street is completely deserted, the houses are boarded up, and everything has a slight appearance of decay and ruin, as if left abandoned for many years. As the party wanders around, they are unable to find a way out, nor can they seem to go back the way they came, instead wandering the empty and dilapidated streets. On a successful skill check (easy difficulty, DM's choice, but skills related to religion, ghosts, magic, or navigation would be the most relevant), the party manages to stumble back onto the busy streets of the familiar town at the same location where they entered that side street. The side street is now nowhere to be found.

The party encounters a girl crying about her cat. In a nearby tree, a cat can be found meowing and hissing while clinging to one of the branches. If the party chooses to assist, one of them must make a skill check to climb the tree, and another skill check to pacify the cat and remove it from the tree. The check to pacify the cat always succeeds in removing it from the tree, but depending on how well the PC rolls the cat may make up to three attacks on that PC. Upon retrieving the cat, the girl exclaims, "That's not my cat," and storms off.

A skeleton in dark robes carrying two full bags of groceries (mostly milk/dairy products) approaches the party and asks them for directions to somewhere. If the players either provide directions or say they don't know, the skeleton leaves without incident. If the players attack the skeleton, it will attempt to flee and call for the guards. The guards will give the players a stern talk and fine them 5 gp for the cost of the groceries (unless this escalates into a confrontation with the guards).

The players might encounter the skeleton again later as a lich in a nearby lair. If they do, they will see the partially unpacked grocery bags in its lair.

The party encounters roughly a dozen guards leading another man away, in what is essentially a setting-appropriate recreation of this video. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU)

A person the party has never seen before bumps into one of the PCs and whispers into their ear, "We strike tonight, be at the meeting place at midnight." They then fade into the crowd and disappear.

A person the party has never seen before bumps into one of the PCs and whispers into their ear, "It's free real-estate." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNxPVj0hejg) They then fade into the crowd and disappear.

In the Wild

A traveling merchant offers the party a rare item for a large sum of gold. The DM should roll a d20 in secret. On a 2-7, the item is worthless trash. On a 8-14, the item is a mundane item that isn't worth the price. On a 15-19, the item is an uncommon or rare magic item appropriate for the price being asked. On a 20, the item is a very rare or legendary magic item worth far more than the asking price. On a 1, the item is Explosive Runes. In all cases, the DM choose an item from the appropriate category.

The party encounters a group of animals wearing clothing and walking on their hind legs seated around a tea set. Human-like voices can be heard before the animals notice the party. When they do notice the party, they immediately freeze and stare at the party. If the players attempt to approach them, they will flee. If the players instead leave, the animals will wait until they are are certain that the party is gone, and then resume what they were doing.

The party encounters a fellow adventurer who asks to join the party. This adventurer is good at everything and can do anything the PCs can do better than they can. They are also completely self-absorbed and unlikable, and have some convoluted backstory that they are (for example) half-dragon and also the heir to a lost throne and also the Chosen One. They constantly whine about how hard it is being them and completely ignore any problems the PCs might be having. The adventurer will not leave until the players either kill them or abandon them somewhere where they can't follow the party.

The party happens across a book, apparently abandoned. The book appears to be filled with real words but that don't form sentences or have any meaning to them, with notes in the margin keeping a tally of how many times the letter "N" appears. The title on the front of the book is "Random".

The party encounters a friendly swordsman who asks them if they've seen a man with six fingers on his left hand. Regardless of the answer, he will thank them and continue on his way.

The party encounters a cart that is towing a castle. If questioned, the driver will respond that the previous owner "failed to pay back taxes" and that the castle was being taken "in lieu of repayment". If the party attempts to take the castle for themselves, a major king or lord in the vicinity will become an enemy to them and send literal armies to seize the castle back.

The party encounters a ranger who challenges them to battle. The ranger then sends out his animal companion to fight for him, and will call the party to "send out theirs". If the players fail to deploy an animal to fight for them, or attempt to engage in combat themselves, the ranger will get angry and leave. If they defeat the ranger's animal companion, he will award them with money and lament that his companion wasn't strong enough.

In Dungeons

As the party enters the room, they see several goblins, kobolds, or other dungeon denizens seated around a table, with dice, sheets of paper, and writing implements scattered around. One of the creatures appears to be behind a folding wooden screen set up on the table. If the PCs speak the appropriate language, they can hear one of the creatures say, "I'm a 9th level ranger, so I should be able to cast 9th level spells." The creatures will turn to stare at the PCs as they enter, but will not attack unless provoked. If offered a gift of dice, paper, ink, or rations, they will share information about the dungeon.

As the party opens the door to the next room, they see a huge chamber with literally hundreds of one particular type of high level monster (such as dragons or beholders). All of these monsters are wearing name tags, some are wearing costumes (of themselves) or T-shirts (with themselves on it). They will chase the PCs out of the room, but won't attack unless provoked or unless the PCs insist on trying to enter that room. If the PCs disguise themselves (even poorly) as that type of monster, they will be able to pass freely through the room.

As the party enters the next room, they see an old man seated between two braziers. The man says something that sounds vaguely like some sort of cryptic clue about the dungeon but is ultimately meaningless. If the players try to attack the old man, he will do nothing, but the two braziers will cast Fireball on the players every round until they leave the room.

As the party enters the room, they notice it is one of the rooms they have previously been in. Except that they are now on the ceiling, and everything is upside down.

As the party enters the room, they notice it is one of the rooms they have previously been in. Except that everything is mirrored, with what was left now being right and vice versa.

As the party opens the door to the next room, they see a spacious field under a blue sky, and hear the gentle sound of birds chirping. A sign a few feet from the door simply reads, "This definitely isn't a trap." The party is able to rest safely in this room.


Alright, I need to head to bed, but I might be back with more later. I spent most of my time on the "In Town" section, and it shows. Post your own ideas for random encounters (besides the obvious "fight a bunch of monsters").

hymer
2018-12-03, 06:33 AM
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/bd/d7/48/bdd7485e5670eb06e566db9f7b6208a9.jpg