Goblin Dan's business model

[Chronos]

Yes, yes, I know this is old news, but it just now occured to me. But how did Goblin Dan (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0326.html) stay in business? I mean, obviously his hydra head BBQ was a smashing success, but how? A place like that really needs word of mouth to hit it big. OK, if Dan (or whomever he hired) is a good enough cook, and hydra head is tasty enough, he could get that... Except that that hydra was the Oracle's Test of the Body, and hence inside Sunken Valley. Nobody who leaves Sunken Valley ever remembers anything from inside, other than their official Answer. And it tends to put a crimp on word-of-mouth, or even on repeat business, when nobody can even remember that your restaurant exists.

The best I can figure is that the Oracle likes him some good BBQ (at least one of the customers we see is a kobold), and shifted the boundaries of the amnesia spell to accomodate Dan. But that seems a bit of a stretch.

[Green Bean]

Or, he could have simply dragged the hydra out of the valley.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

I'm thinking more people or monsters than the Oracle live in the Valley. So anyone who lives there will eat there if they want a tasty BBQ dinner, plus anyone passing through. (Although they won't remember to tell their friends!)

If there is a big enough population, Goblin Dan could expand his franchise to cover several towns within the valley, but he needs to find a way to market outside of his usual boundaries. Maybe he can get a co-location deal with Starbucks. :smallbiggrin:

[FireDrake]

I agree that other creatures must live in sunken valley. But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)

Or maybe... Maybe It's just a one panel punchline, that we're al reading way too far into.

[Surfing HalfOrc]

I agree that other creatures must live in sunken valley. But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)

Or maybe... Maybe It's just a one panel punchline, that we're al reading way too far into.

Reading too much into an "Order of the Stick" comic? NO! Never happens! :smallbiggrin:

[Chronos]

But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)Why no more than 100 left over? Those heads just keep re-growing. That's why it's all-you-can-eat.

I did think of the possibility that there are other denizens of the valley, but it hardly seems like there'd be enough to milk a megagold out of them. And franchises outside the valley are even more problematic, since as soon as Dan (or his franchisee) left the valley, he'd forget about his business (since it started inside). Plus, every franchise would need their own hydra.

And Dan dragging the corpse out is worse yet. Not only would he forget what he was doing with a catatonic hydra as soon as he passed the boundary, but how is a single small creature with a strength penalty supposed to drag a hydra, anyway?

[Green Bean]

I agree that other creatures must live in sunken valley. But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)

Or maybe... Maybe It's just a one panel punchline, that we're al reading way too far into.

The Hydra's unconscious, not dead. It could still regrow more heads once the goblins chopped off enough of them that it could safely make more.

[commander43]

No, he can sell an infinite number of heads, because he keeps the hydra unconscious and keeps chopping.

[Yoritomo Himeko]

I agree that other creatures must live in sunken valley. But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)

Or maybe... Maybe It's just a one panel punchline, that we're al reading way too far into.

When one of the heads is chopped off, two more take its place.

[Green Bean]

I agree that other creatures must live in sunken valley. But, my question is how he made a million selling no more than 100 heads. (with some left over)

Or maybe... Maybe It's just a one panel punchline, that we're al reading way too far into.

The Hydra's unconscious, not dead. It could still regrow more heads once the goblins chopped off enough of them that it could safely make more.

[Shatteredtower]

And it tends to put a crimp on word-of-mouth, or even on repeat business, when nobody can even remember that your restaurant exists.Ever wonder why no one visiting the Valley writes things down?

[FireDrake]

I'm arguing a lost cause here but: In the last panel there are only two heads. If they still kept regrowing there would be thousands.

Okay... I'll admit defeat.

Also in the last panel the colour scheme doesn't match sunken valley, unless OotS World has global warming, it's a different place.

[NerfTW]

Either they stopped regrowing until they went back below the proper amount, or maybe they cut the heads off below the split. As in, cut off a head, two grow out of the wound, cut again below the wound for two heads, and two heads grow back. Repeat until you can't anymore, and start over again at the top of a head.

[Bayar]

Maybe the hydra was near enough to the edge of the memory erasing spell that it would not matter if you crossed the boundaries.Or maybe Dan has not yet visited the Oracle, so the spell does not apply to him...

[the mysterian]

i have a better question, goblin dan is a goblin, therefore cannon-fodder, what are the chances he wouldn't be killed by some random adventurer?

[The Duskblade]

We don't know where the memory wipe takes effect. I'd say the tests (excluding heart.) Are outside of the effect.

[newcresty]

well, 2 point to exalt

point 1: the mountains behind Oots/Dan are always blue colored, except in the las t strip, where the restaurant is shown up are grey coloured

point 2: i think the only one who can't remember anything from sunken valley are they who have taken the test adn visited the oracle, and so they forget everything about the oracle and the tests, and Dan didn't make the test or visited the oracle, so he didn't lost his memories

[Chronos]

We don't know where the memory wipe takes effect. I'd say the tests (excluding heart.) Are outside of the effect.No, remember, Roy and Durkon couldn't remember what any of the tests were.

And I don't think that the color of the mountains means much; that could just mean that that panel was a different time of day.

The spell only applying to Oracle customers is a possibility, though.

[Corsair]

Notice all his customers were random encounters. He's like a tourist attraction - Heroes are near, come by for some world famous barbecue before you die in an encounter in an inappropriate landscape for your monster type.

[Admiral_Kelly]

People; one thing you are all forgetting:

Humor > Continuity. Mystery Solved.

[FireDrake]

No ones noticed this either.

This comic gives us proof that the world won't be destroyed by the snarl. At least in the time it takes Goblin Dan to get 'old'.

[kpenguin]

No ones noticed this either.

This comic gives us proof that the world won't be destroyed by the snarl. At least in the time it takes Goblin Dan to get 'old'.

So... THE GOOD GUYS WIN! Woooo!

[Castamir]

When one of the heads is chopped off, two more take its place.
Now we are waiting until the hydra and its unlimited mass of heads grow so big that they cause a gravitational collapse, bringing the OOTS world into it. And you wondered what the evil gods' plot could be...

[Bayar]

looking more closely at the window, it says World famous...so it means that every goblinoid creature knows about it.

And as for adventurers that want to kill them as random encounters...think they would rather enjoy an All-you-can-eat BBQ :smallbiggrin:

[MrPhoenix]

well, sir greenhilt clearly stated, that it, the hydra, would keep on growing them, the heads. not: it would keep on growing them infinitely.
therefore has the number of heads to be finite. wich gets me to the following conclusion: the goblin(s) chopped of heads untill the finite number has been reached. that number must've been low enough to keep the hydra from dying, since it obviously didn't die wich would have made it stop growing further heads, wich wouldn't have goblin dan allowed to make his first million of gold pieces.
after reaching the number of maximum heads, they could chop off so much heads as they want to.

since the whole strip was a retrospection in goblin dan's life, the last picture is clearly set in the present. and not only that, but it's a different location and, because the hydra has much less heads, a different hydra.

any questions left?

[Querzis]

So... THE GOOD GUYS WIN! Woooo!

Maybe not, all of goblins Dan customers are monsters so Xykon or Nale could very well have won and be ruling the world.

Anyway, its a valley, not a dungeon or a city but a valley. In a world where there is about a thousand species who can use cash and eat at the restaurant, one valley is more then enough to have a millions customers, especially since, as it already been said, I doubt people who are not visiting the oracle lose their memories.

[Miraqariftsky]

i have a better question, goblin dan is a goblin, therefore cannon-fodder, what are the chances he wouldn't be killed by some random adventurer?

Eh, what? He established a peaceful, orderly, lawful business enterprise that would benefit many multitudes of folk. He was not engaging in raids against settlements, human or otherwise. There is no evidence of Goblin Dan egaging in illicit criminal activity.

Whaddaheck gives the impression that he's cannon-fodder?!

He is still a sentient being with universal human rights. Since he was not doing anything "wrong" except maybe turning a dangerous beast such as a hydra into a profitable and indeed productive breed of livestock, adventurers have no need to kill him.

Heck, even druids and rangers--- folk who'd usually protest against the cruelty of livestock farming and slaughterhouses would, I assume, approve of what Goblin Dan has done since the hydra is nearly an abomination to Nature's order.

[Green Bean]

i have a better question, goblin dan is a goblin, therefore cannon-fodder, what are the chances he wouldn't be killed by some random adventurer?

Remember, he's now the owner of an established business. He's now like the barkeep. No one attacks the barkeep.

[explanetpluto]

Remember, he's now the owner of an established business. He's now like the barkeep. No one attacks the barkeep.

I attacked the barkeep. But that's because he tried to throw out my half-elf barbarian, stupid racist.

Anyways-

As everyone who reads OotS should know by now, the rules are allowed to be bent (or broken) for the sake of jokes.

[Green Bean]

I attacked the barkeep. But that's because he tried to throw out my half-elf barbarian, stupid racist.


That's fine, but you should know that a friendly barkeep is almost always a retired fighter of at least five levels above the rest of the party should you choose to attack him. :smallbiggrin:

[explanetpluto]

That's fine, but you should know that a friendly barkeep is almost always a retired fighter of at least five levels above the rest of the party should you choose to attack him. :smallbiggrin:

Well sure, I just failed to mention that he won and I got dragged off by the town guard...

[Deuce]

Another option might be that the Oracle met his end (Belkar?), and that with his death, the memory-wipe spell faded.

[Chronos]

Quoth bayar:
looking more closely at the window, it says World famous...so it means that every goblinoid creature knows about it.No, that just means that it's a BBQ hut. I mean, who ever heard of a BBQ hut that wasn't world famous? It just goes with the territory.

Quoth Admiral_Kelly:
People; one thing you are all forgetting:

Humor > Continuity. Mystery Solved.Now, see, some of us folks enjoy picking at nitpicky irrelevant details. It actually enhances the humor for us. Yeah, we know that continuity doesn't really matter, but so what? It's fun.

[Spiky]

Ok, I know that the forum is fairly young, but have none of you been to a restaurant with menus on a piece of paper for carryout customers?

[Green Bean]

Well sure, I just failed to mention that he won and I got dragged off by the town guard...

DM: 1, explanetpluto: 0 :smallwink:

[lavidor10]

I just realised that panel is the only flashforward in the Oots comic. That tells us the world isn't going to be destroyed by the Snarl or by the Gods while they remake it (within Goblin Dan's lifetime anyway).

Of course, that could be seriously reading too much into it :smallsmile:

[Morty]

Of course, this could mean that Xykon or Redcloak rule the world and all races except the monsters are wiped out.:smallwink:

[martianmister]

Yes, yes, I know this is old news, but it just now occured to me. But how did Goblin Dan (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0326.html) stay in business? I mean, obviously his hydra head BBQ was a smashing success, but how? A place like that really needs word of mouth to hit it big. OK, if Dan (or whomever he hired) is a good enough cook, and hydra head is tasty enough, he could get that... Except that that hydra was the Oracle's Test of the Body, and hence inside Sunken Valley. Nobody who leaves Sunken Valley ever remembers anything from inside, other than their official Answer. And it tends to put a crimp on word-of-mouth, or even on repeat business, when nobody can even remember that your restaurant exists.

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0705.html

Sorry I couldn't resist. :smallredface:

[Swordpriest]

Well, if you want to get extra nitpicky, you could also question why the hydra doesn't wake up and go on a rampage every time they cut off a certain number of heads. There's a critical threshold there somewhere. :smallbiggrin:

[Ted The Bug]

I believe this has been said before somewhere, but GD saw a hydra and thought "Hey, I should take this out of the valley and sell its heads!". He dragged it to the edge of the valley, went through the charm, and wondered what he was doing there. Then saw a hydra and thought "Hey, I should take this out of the valley and sell its heads!".
And then he did.

[SoC175]

No, he can sell an infinite number of heads, because he keeps the hydra unconscious and keeps chopping. Which by the rules wouldn't work due to the hydra eventually starving or even sooner dying of thirst (both being things regeneration doesn't help against)

[LuPuWei]

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0705.html

Sorry I couldn't resist. :smallredface:

I always thought that was a sign that Dan had expanded his business...

[Tass]

Ever wonder why no one visiting the Valley writes things down?

Because they don't remember there is a memory charm?

[Swordpriest]

Because they don't remember there is a memory charm?

True, but he comes right out and tells them about it. Anyone with a quill and some parchment could take notes. With wizards around, that's not too far fetched. :smallbiggrin:

[Logalmier]

Remember, goblins have short life spans, only about 50 years. So the scene where Goblin Dan is telling the story of how he made his first million might not be as far in the future as we think. It could be only a couple of years after the fact, which means it would still fit into the story today.

[Commander672]

Why no more than 100 left over? Those heads just keep re-growing. That's why it's all-you-can-eat.

And Dan dragging the corpse out is worse yet. Not only would he forget what he was doing with a catatonic hydra as soon as he passed the boundary, but how is a single small creature with a strength penalty supposed to drag a hydra, anyway?

He wrote himself a note. Duh.
He got a peice of paper, wrote or drew about hydra heads being cooked, left the vally, looked at the peice of paper, looked behined him at the Hydra he just dragged out, and re-got the idea!

You can also maintain the number of cultivated heads below eventual suffocation by decapitating the hydra below an intersection of necks, thus growing two more heads to replace the two you cut off.http://vjozva.bay.livefilestore.com/y1pN8JGC6QtesvH0W-gpjsXY8bJSl_J3Hsx5dmmiMLfXjPOvurl-QmyyeCNAKuJsijDRQmBKKrdxrOENk5BTc0s5KAcYEjdWZRJ/Hydra%20plan.jpg?psid=1

[Zmflavius]

He wrote himself a note. Duh.
He got a peice of paper, wrote or drew about hydra heads being cooked, left the vally, looked at the peice of paper, looked behined him at the Hydra he just dragged out, and re-got the idea!

You can also maintain the number of cultivated heads below eventual suffocation by decapitating the hydra below an intersection of necks, thus growing two more heads to replace the two you cut off. over-sized image

Oh for crying...

Please reduce the size of that image.

[NerfTW]

http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0705.html

Sorry I couldn't resist. :smallredface:

Yes, that was pointed out years ago when the comic came out. A year or so after this thread died as well. :smallconfused:

[paladinofshojo]

Eh, what? He established a peaceful, orderly, lawful business enterprise that would benefit many multitudes of folk. He was not engaging in raids against settlements, human or otherwise. There is no evidence of Goblin Dan egaging in illicit criminal activity.



He is still a sentient being with universal human rights. Since he was not doing anything "wrong" except maybe turning a dangerous beast such as a hydra into a profitable and indeed productive breed of livestock, adventurers have no need to kill him.



Tell that to the adventurers that Roy and Durkon were originally with, or the paladins who destroyed Redcloak's village.......

[Pronounceable]

I'm happy that this thread got necroed because I must have missed it first time around. horribly horribly necroed

[CletusMusashi]

The reason the hydra was defeated in the first place was that it grew so many heads it passed out from blood loss. So if Dan started dragging it in the valley, and then got outside it, he'd probably have just shrugged and said "Hmm. Unconscious hydra. Seeing as how I ain't some fancy-pants P.C. type what reads all them rulebooks and such... I wonder if I can butcher it..."
Considering how quickly he adapted, I suspect that his original question TO the Wizard of- sorry, I mean the LIZARD of Sunken Valley, was: " How can I open a fast-food joint as quickly as possible?" And whatever that answer was, it meshed a lot better with suddenly finding yourself in possession of a permanently-unconscious hydra than MOST people's answers do with MOST questions!

[Zeb The Troll]

Troll Patrol: Wow is this an old one. Back to the graveyard with you!