Any animal anecdotes I can steal?

[Laird]

Hi GitP! I need some help coming up with funny/interesting or pointless anecdotes for my character. He is a Homebrew Character and Background, Changeling Sorceror.

His name is Lok the Changeling, a Witch's Adopted Child.

Personality Quirks are:

I am horribly, horribly unaware of personal space. I could talk for hours about the beauty of the arcane, fey or magical beasts I've 'discovered.'

And his Flaw is:

I overlook obvious solutions in favor of more complicated ones. I also am easily distracted by the promise of information.


Thus, I am looking for anecdotes about peculier creatures that may or may not be mundane, rhymes about squirrels or other typical woodland creatures and any lore about the Feywild or similar areas. This is a way to be creative, and I feel the communitie's unique stories will reflect that Lok does steal other's experiences (having grown up with no childhood friends save for books, spirits(in his imagination) and woodland creatures.

I have the getting too close to people when speaking and occasionally going off on tangents about the many applications of herbs handled, I need some help coming up with ... unorthodox stories about the other things I've mentioned!

Your help is appreciated! Thanks!

[SpanielBear]

In game anecdote that you should feel free to adapt.

Our party had picked up a horse and cart, plus an adorabley naïve teenager to drive it. We arrived in town, did the usual shopping/rumour hunting that that entails, then headed back to the inn to sort out lodging.

When we got there, however we found that our hireling had stabled the horse and cart, but we himself nowhere to be seen. There was signs of a struggle but no other clues. So the Druid decided to ask the horse.

The horse was very eager to help. It described seeing its friend who gave it apple’s attacked by a group of men, all wearing hats and cloaks. “That’s great,” said the Druid, “can you describe them?”

That’s when we learned that Horses are colourblind.

[Azgeroth]

looks like more than one flew over the 'koo-koo's' nest..

those fences are not high enough, cows are amazing jumpers! i heard one made it over the moon once..

that turtle is not going to win this race..

thats one badger of a man! i was going to say bear, but lets be honest..

remember, if you see a pack of wolves DONT cry wolf, no one will believe you.. happened to this boy i knew once..

never let a bullywug drive a cart, speed demons they are, total disregard for other road users..

hunting rabbits eh? what did they do this time?

hope thats somewhat helpful, all i have for now..

[Laird]

That’s when we learned that Horses are colourblind.

Haha I like this, one of the PC's is a Druid and it may not be common knowledge how animals see.




hope thats somewhat helpful, all i have for now..

These are both Fantastic! I can already feel the creativity coming on! Thanks!

[Unoriginal]

One morning, in Summer, young recruits where left by themselves at the training field by the instructor charged to make them into proper soldiers. One of them was the best at all the exercises, and at fighting, and had more determination than anyone once in the fire of the action, but he lacked discipline. So when he was distracted by a fox which had showed up near the training field, the recruit played with the fox rather than keep his work up.

When the instructor came back, all the young soldiers were told to get in rank and to wait in salute in the midday sun, to teach them endurance and prepare them for that kind of ceremonial, uncomfortable s. To avoid revealing he slacked off with the fox rather than training, the young recruit hid the animal in his tunic, kept it tucked in with one arm, took the proper pose for the salute, and waited.

After one hour, the first recruit dropped, followed by many others. After two, most of them had stopped. After three, only the young recruit was left standing.

The instructor went up to him to congratulate him, but noticed that bump under the young soldier's tunic. He also noticed the blood staining said tunic. Opening it, the instructor was surprised at the fox fleeing as fast as it's bloody paws allowed it, and even more when the young recruit fell, dead, his guts torn open by the fox in its desperate attempt to escape its prison and the heat while he remained utterly silent and still.

If there's a morale to this story, the fox did not know it.

[GooeyChewie]

Stolen from L5R:

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream. The scorpion asks the frog to carry him across the stream on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "because if I sting you while you cross the stream, surely I shall drown too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out. But in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, but has just enough time to gasp. "Why? Why would you do this to me?"

The scorpion replies: "Because, I can swim."




Bonus points if you keep insisting scorpions can swim before breaking out this parable.

[DMThac0]

@GooeyChewie: I recall a similar fable though it ended with the scorpion saying "Because I'm a scorpion, it's what I do."

Beware badgers, I heard tale once of fledgling adventurers who lost an entire camp site one night due to hungry badgers..one even ran off with the mess pot stuck to it's head. (happened to a lvl 1 party I DM'd..silly random encounter and they were not prepared.)

I wonder if the rumors are true about mushroom circles. One story I read talked about them being homes to Pixies and a portal to another world! Then there's another story about adventurers who stepped into a mushroom circle and were shrunk to the size of insects. I'd love to find one of these and see which is true! (both are things I've done to players in "mysterious woods" scenarios)

Feel free to elaborate as you wish, if I recall any other fun stories I'll drop them in.

[Unoriginal]

@GooeyChewie: I recall a similar fable though it ended with the scorpion saying "Because I'm a scorpion, it's what I do."


Yeah, that's the traditional version.

The L5R version is different, because the one telling it changed the ending to demonstrate a point.

Back when I played L5R, I always wanted to get the occasion to debate about this tale in-character, because my character would have brought up this point:

"Either the scorpion could swim all the way through the river, in which case it could have killed the frog before crossing it, and killing the frog in the middle of the river was not pragmatic, or the scorpion could only swim part of the length, killed the frog when they reached that point to cover its own inadequacy, and then boasted of its skills. In both case, the witty remark to the dying frog only serve to hide that the scorpion was either enough of a fool to play with a victim before the success was confirmed, or killed the frog because the frog was the superior swimmer. Both are noting but arrogance."

[hymer]

How about the one about the priest and the mule? You'll get a kick out of it.

There's the Three Billy Goats Gruff (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiy3a1v9Q2E). Ancient wisdom handed down from the mountains of Norway.

[Particle_Man]

Well there was the tale of the beastmaster ranger and their dog, and they were good friends, and they adventured with their party and the party ran into a ghost, and the ghost aged the dog by decades, and the dog died.

It is tragic that some of our animal friends are so short-lived.

[Laird]

Ohh some of these are dark. I guess it is a good idea to use the fables too! Thanks a bunch.

[SpanielBear]

To lighten it somewhat:

Ravens are the only bird that flies for the sheer joy of it.

If you smile at a sheep, it smiles back.

Wolves share the job of raising puppies. It takes a pack to raise a cub.

Dogs are the only animal that understand, from birth, that if you point they should look where you’re pointing, not at your finger.

Horses can be taught to tell their handlers if they want an extra blanket because they are too cold.

[nickl_2000]

Most of Aesop's Fables are animal related

http://www.taleswithmorals.com/

[Unoriginal]

In D&D 5e, ravens are used to steal the souls of people from their deserved afterlife, when they die.

[SpanielBear]

In D&D 5e, ravens are used to steal the souls of people from their deserved afterlife, when they die.

But, y’know, joyfully.