Comically dumb ideas a braggart of a mayor could have?

[MarkVIIIMarc]

One of the parties I DM for installed a mayor in a wild west like town of sorts who is a braggart and exaggerator. He has been the source of much entertainment. For example, the mayor found a sword the Cleric cast light on and believes its a sign from a god. In another session he led a detachment of soldiers on a flanking mission around an orc camp and in effect drove the orcs into the town.

What are some comical things this mayor could do now that he's in power?

[Xihirli]

Ban crabs.

He doesn’t like them.

[HappyDaze]

{Scrubbed}

[ImproperJustice]

1. Literally any experiment that Cave Johnson attempted in Portal 2. An army of mantis men or exploding lemons is the first thing to come to mind.
2. Have you heard about our new Black Pudding waste disposal facility?
3. The Zombie rehabilitation program
4. Giant Sized Furniture for a nearby tribe of giants. First we need to cut down all the surrounding lumber, starting with that abandoned Druid Hollow.
5. The no weapons initiative: If we could take the first steps towards peace by disarming all our soldiers and adventurers, then maybe our Goblin / Gnoll neighbors would not be so hostile. Hires adventures to serve milk and cookies at the upcoming reception.

[HappyDaze]

{Scrubbed}

[iTreeby]

"we need to start an aircore, get me some harpy eggs!"

[Mercurias]

He could be so,pig-ignorant about the people of a passing foreign dignitary that the dignitary challenges him to a duel.

He could set fireworks all over the town as a surprise for the festival, only he didn’t know how to have fireworks made so,he essentially planted a series of bombs all over town for,you to find and disable.

[Vorpalchicken]

He could burn down several "dreadful" buildings such as the library, the courthouse and the granary and have a grand palace dedicated to himself built in its place.

He could declare war on the squirrels and have the town guard march into the nearby forest, slaughtering as many as they can and returning in triumph with chest-loads of captured acorns.

He could build an impenetrable city gate house with a towering barbican, ballistae, and a magically locking gate to secure the main way into the city through the four foot wall that surrounds it.

He could institute a thirty-three per cent adventurers tax on all wealth acquired by adventurers- basically whatever wealth they have on them when they are first discovered in the city. Of course there would be tremendous taxes on magical items. If cash cannot be paid, the items will be confiscated.

He could invite all citizens who would have grievances to air said grievances publicly before him in the town square. And then have them executed.

[Tvtyrant]

He invests the entire town treasury in a collectible, promising to double the towns money in a year.

He declares tariffs against the farms that feed the town, as the town gardens can't compete with them.

He decides that the best way to keep his enemies from attacking is to declare war on all of them at once, so their armies will run into each other on the way to the town.

He makes a deal with a dragon to have it act as the town banker, but it quickly demands more and more "deposits."

He buys a robe he can't see, and when he gets cold he decides the town needs to be heated by caged salamanders.

[Unoriginal]

"I had the perfect idea to solve our financial woes: we don't pay the adventurers. They should be grateful we let them keep the items of those creatures the town sent them to kill, anyway."

[Maan]

Water the crops with health potions. Magic: is what plants crave.

Build a giant wall to keep orcs off, and hire the party to make them pay for it.
(ok, this is more like satire)

[Rockphed]

Since the town has lots more men than women, he hires a wizard to clone female travelers.

He invites a wizard to town to create a new food animal that can survive in the desolate land around the town. The animal promptly escapes and devastates the local ecology.

He builds an airship port at each end of town.

[Azgeroth]

he commissions the building of a great theatre/temple/market mega-building
with no concept of how it should work or how to build it
no capable persons are available to advise him and instead he enlist's all the homeless and bums with promise a great future of wealth, commerce and faith..

the temple aspects are dedicated to this new mystery god that spoke to him through the magical sword..

the theatre aspects are to be ran by the local bard, a mediocre performer at best..

the 'grand market' is to be run by the local trades people, who dont get along at the best of times.

and the mayor see's none of it, accept his grand divine vision.

[JellyPooga]

"I had the perfect idea to solve our financial woes: we don't pay the adventurers. They should be grateful we let them keep the items of those creatures the town sent them to kill, anyway."

I've always wondered about that "you can keep what you find" clause in the traditional "adventurer pay packet" (whether it's in addition to further payment or not). Where did it come from? Are there quest givers that actually insist that all valuables recovered from the dungeon are turned in an accounted for? Or is it just a legalese contract term that's left in to avoid loopholes regarding what the adventurers are supposed to do; a kind of "without it, we could be giving them permission to rob the townsfolk" kind of thing?

[noob]

Allowing adventurers to enter his town.
A few minutes later everything is on fire even the fire and the water.
If you want to know how you can ask an adventurer but then you would be on fire too.
Another dumb idea is being the mayor of a goblin town because then the adventurers goes and sets you on fire and set your civilians on fire no matter what you do.

[HappyDaze]

I've always wondered about that "you can keep what you find" clause in the traditional "adventurer pay packet" (whether it's in addition to further payment or not). Where did it come from? Are there quest givers that actually insist that all valuables recovered from the dungeon are turned in an accounted for? Or is it just a legalese contract term that's left in to avoid loopholes regarding what the adventurers are supposed to do; a kind of "without it, we could be giving them permission to rob the townsfolk" kind of thing?

It comes from a loose understanding that all such good claimed on the lands of a ruler are technically property of the ruler. Enforcing this obviously requires more medieval authenticity than the vast majority of D&D accounts for, but it can be done in other settings too (e.g., BattleTech for salvage rights in mercenary contracts).

[Digimike]

Monorail

https://youtu.be/ZDOI0cq6GZM

[Clistenes]

Year 1401, Seville, Kingdom of Castile, in today's Spain. The city council declared they would "build a temple so big and beautiful future generations will see it and judge us madmen..."

And they built the largest (by surface) gothic cathedral ever made...

[Unoriginal]

I've always wondered about that "you can keep what you find" clause in the traditional "adventurer pay packet" (whether it's in addition to further payment or not). Where did it come from? Are there quest givers that actually insist that all valuables recovered from the dungeon are turned in an accounted for? Or is it just a legalese contract term that's left in to avoid loopholes regarding what the adventurers are supposed to do; a kind of "without it, we could be giving them permission to rob the townsfolk" kind of thing?

Pretty sure it's more a "they have valuable things, so it's a bonus on top of the money I pay you" argument, but disguised as a favor the quest giver does to sweeten the deal.

In some cases, it has to be precised because the quest giver wants something specific (ex: "bring me the green book, you can keep the rest"), and sometime is has to be precised if what the monsters have legally belong to someone else (ex: bandits took over a fort, the content of the fort's armory and coffers still legally belong to the land's lord).

[Contrast]

He has decided to build a bridge and name it after himself.

Of course first he just needs to divert the river so its closer to town so that everyone can admire the new bridge...

[opaopajr]

Armadillo Crossing?

'Public transit hitching posts'? (like public bikes, except using donkeys and mules. also gotta have a deposit box for payment, running on the good faith system.)

Dust Abatement Program? (sweeping and sprinkling water upon the dusty streets.)

Temperance Movement? (ban alcohol sales.)

[ImproperJustice]

There really is so much fun that can be had with this idea:

1. Gelatenous Cube Street Sweepers: Hires the PCs to find a few, or just unleashes them on the town.
2. The cemetery is an eye sore. Hires a Necromancer to “spruce it up.”
3. Wants a living statue of himself built in the town square, it runs amok, but he wants it stopped without it being destroyed.

[DragonBaneDM]

Welp. Time to build a house-sized statue of my dog.

Should be enough iron in the old, monster-infested mines. Oh, adventurers!!!

[Imbalance]

Monorail

This. Also, I'm reminded of the antics of King DDD from the Kirby cartoon.

[Zhorn]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

[Cybren]

{Scrubbed}

You realize you're taking an incredibly specific real world political stance with this 'joke' right?

[rahimka]

Blatantly misunderstanding the phrase "murder hobo", he begins arresting any and all local homeless people (and then conscripting them to fight local monsters, clear dungeons, etc). Since they keep dying terrible deaths as a result, he quickly runs out of homeless conscripts, and so starts having houses burned down to create more homeless people to conscript

[ImproperJustice]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

This is my favorite.
Totally stealing this one :)

[noob]

Blatantly misunderstanding the phrase "murder hobo", he begins arresting any and all local homeless people (and then conscripting them to fight local monsters, clear dungeons, etc). Since they keep dying terrible deaths as a result, he quickly runs out of homeless conscripts, and so starts having houses burned down to create more homeless people to conscript

If you mix in regular murder hobos it can work fine.
And in dnd 5e the best warrior in the multiverse have the exact same power as a random commoner thanks to the varied caps.(the difference can only be seen by a dnd 5e player)

[Misterwhisper]

Installing multicolored continual flame gnomish tinkered stoplights at major intersections.

[noob]

Installing multicolored continual flame gnomish tinkered stoplights at major intersections.

Then the streets are on fire afterwards.
also the stoplights stops cars by exploding them with rockets.

[dickerson76]

Digs hugely inconvenient moat around town to make it more difficult for an invading army to move in quickly - despite the fact that there has never been an invading army and the traders are all greatly inconvenienced by the slowdown and frustrated by the moat-crossing fee.

Also, the water in the moat becomes a breeding ground for mosquitoes and disease rates in the town rise dramatically.

[guachi]

{Scrubbed}.

An economy like this would probably be booming. Leveled clerical spells would take almost no effort to actually cast. Even rituals aren't that taxing on a cleric. A robust tax system could easily pay for any material costs on spells so all residents, not just the wealthy, could have access to raise dead, for example (assuming high enough levels for local clerics). With residents not having to worry about food or health care, you'd free up a large amount of labor and ensure people could be maximally productive.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about dumb ideas.

[noob]

An economy like this would probably be booming. Leveled clerical spells would take almost no effort to actually cast. Even rituals aren't that taxing on a cleric. A robust tax system could easily pay for any material costs on spells so all residents, not just the wealthy, could have access to raise dead, for example (assuming high enough levels for local clerics). With residents not having to worry about food or health care, you'd free up a large amount of labor and ensure people could be maximally productive.

I thought this thread was supposed to be about dumb ideas.

The problem is the scarcity of clerics.
In order to fix that we need to encourage people to become clerics.

[Connington]

A long term plan to find, awaken, lure, and trap the Tarrasque. There's a huge pit trap, some big iron chains, and the like. The Mayor is still crowdsourcing ideas about what to do with the new resource once it's been captured, but the potential for industry, magic component harvesting, tourism and so on is obvious. Those chains really look heavy and the mayor can hire plenty of CR 1/8 guards to trap it. What could go wrong?

Technically this puts the mayor in the same class as any apocalyptic demon summoning cult. But OTOH, he's not doing anything intentionally Evil and his chances of even finding the Tarrasque are probably nil.

[Rockphed]

The mayor wants an exotic pet. Specifically, he wants a unicorn. The guards have just returned with a dozen baby rhinoceroses.

[Tvtyrant]

A long term plan to find, awaken, lure, and trap the Tarrasque. There's a huge pit trap, some big iron chains, and the like. The Mayor is still crowdsourcing ideas about what to do with the new resource once it's been captured, but the potential for industry, magic component harvesting, tourism and so on is obvious. Those chains really look heavy and the mayor can hire plenty of CR 1/8 guards to trap it. What could go wrong?

Technically this puts the mayor in the same class as any apocalyptic demon summoning cult. But OTOH, he's not doing anything intentionally Evil and his chances of even finding the Tarrasque are probably nil.

There was a very long 3.5 thread about a city built atop an unconcious tarrasque which was harvested for its food, bone and other resources. It also meant the city had a nuke in that attacking it meant they could wake it up.

Having the mayor actually succeed would be hilarious, and provide a unique setting piece.

Edit: apparently that idea got big, there is a a published kick starter setting for it called Salt in Wounds and a reddit for it.

[Cyclops08]

The mayor gets a hundred concentrated Continual Flame spells cast in a shiny bucket. He puts a glass window on top with a painting of a bat on it. Now he has an adventurer signal for whenever the town is in trouble. He expects all adventurers to magically know what the signal means - because they are adventurers, they know this stuff.

A halfling once robbed the mayor. Now a city guard must follow any and all halflings in town. The mayor includes gnomes and dwarves as halflings as well. There is a sign outside of city hall: "You must be this tall to enter."

[Clistenes]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

A certain fantasy comic had a similar premise... An aged, infirm lord sends his son to the city to be an apprentice under his merchant brother (who still has a HUGE chip on his shoulder over being basically kicked out of the castle and sent to "make a future for himself" in the city because their parents were ashamed of him being a cripple, so the merchant uncle isn't exactly affectionate to his nephew, at least at the beginning...).

The merchant uncle is part of an initiative to build an underground, basically putting the roads under the ground so the surface space is freed for more buildings; they are using gnome slave labor and lots of explosives. The nephew frees the gnomes and help them escape and resettle in his father's castle... the gnomes crown his father as the gnome king and dig an underground gnomish town under the castle...

More shenanigans happen... the nephew helps a bunch of mutant monsters escape the city, and sends them to his father's lands... the monsters settle in the underground town.

Time runs... the nephew inherits his merchant uncle's business AND becomes the master of the city's Thieves' Guild (the top dog in the city, basically). But he loses his family, and the city collapses because of so many heavy buildings raised on top of so many tunnels... Dude goes back to his father's lands, and claims his inheritance.

Adventurers start to arrive to the castle to explore its vast dungeons and fight the monsters... Dude realizes they all carry money and valuables with them, so he decides to turn the castle and dungeon into a business... sort of a deadly thematic park and lethal tourist trap... and starts to use advertising to attract more and more adventurers... The monsters kill the adventurers, and bring their stuff to him...

[Tvtyrant]

That actually sounds like an amazing plot for a dragon. It secretly puts a massive bounty on itself so filthy rich adventurers will come deliver their money and magic items to it when they die.

"I haven't raided a city in ages. I let the cities try to raid me, much more profitable."

[opaopajr]

Have the local currency be based on ham, by weight.

Create a craft-jewelry-based Etsy economy, with sumptuary laws mandating you to flaunt your wealth. The richest are encumbered by trinkets and accessories.

Invent new superstitions to keep away ghouls & ghosts, like people should be buttering their threshold before bed.

[silicareject]

One of the parties I DM for installed a mayor in a wild west like town of sorts who is a braggart and exaggerator. He has been the source of much entertainment. For example, the mayor found a sword the Cleric cast light on and believes its a sign from a god. In another session he led a detachment of soldiers on a flanking mission around an orc camp and in effect drove the orcs into the town.

What are some comical things this mayor could do now that he's in power?



Nice topic,thank you.

[Nhorianscum]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

Also using this.

[Clistenes]

Commission a mega dungeon the be constructed under the town as an economic stimulus plan.
Starts by filling a cellar with meat and hiring adventurers to lure a bulette or similar tunneling monster into it to start some simple tunnel excavations. After some basic tunnels are constructed the cellar is converted into a Yawning Portal style entrance.
Some adventurers are hired to bring rare and dangerous creatures to dump down the hole.
The party hears about low level npc adventuring groups being brought in to 'audit' the system (in reality they are being sent down to their death as a way to seed the dungeon with loot and corpses to stimulate the dungeon's natural growth).
Project management expects (the mayor) is expecting the dungeon to become self-sustaining within 2 years, and start generating an exploitable adventuring economy by next election (assuming 4 year terms).

While the Bulette won't leave the meat-filled "dungeon" permanently, it will dig a hidden back exit, like many underground-dwelling creatures do... so when the monsters are dumped inside the cave, they will eventually find their way out and start preying on the villagers...

The major will try to arrest and punish the adventurers hired to capture the monsters, accusing them of releasing the monsters in the village. The adventurers will manage to convince him to let them capture the monsters again... and the major will dump the monsters again into the dungeon, which they will leave again through the same exit...

[XmonkTad]

Mayor attempts to start a wizarding school, staffs it entirely with warlocks.

Mayor believes that witches are causing crop failures and keeps requesting reinforcements from the capital to conduct witch hunts.

[noob]

Mayor attempts to start a wizarding school, staffs it entirely with warlocks.

Mayor believes that witches are causing crop failures and keeps requesting reinforcements from the capital to conduct witch hunts.

warlocking schools must be very common seeing how everybody and their dog becomes warlocks.

And that witch story would be so likely the adventurers would probably believe that it is true and actually manage to believe they stopped the crop failures after killing a few billion witches.

[XmonkTad]

And that witch story would be so likely the adventurers would probably believe that it is true and actually manage to believe they stopped the crop failures after killing a few billion witches.

But that's the brilliance of it. The plan becomes ridiculous, even by midevil standards, when the mayor begins blaming everything on witches/gremlins etc.

[Snowbluff]

Hires wizards to make it a white Christmas/holiday by making snow and freezing the lake for ice skating.

This might involve a lot of wizards if the best they can do to change temperature is Prestidigitation.

[holywhippet]

An evil dragon makes a lair nearby. The mayor concludes that nobody in their right mind would ever steal from a dragon - or are strong enough that they'd easily rob the town treasury anyway. So he arranges to have the dragon store the treasury gold in their own lair.

[Bohandas]

*Hires devils to reinforce town guard. Does not read the relevant contracts.

*Hires an advisor who is obviously possessed

*Hires an advisor who is obviously a teddy bear

*Hires an advisor who is obviously the head of the thieves guild wearing a fake mustache.

*Invests the town budget in sweepstakes entries

*Builds a civic building on top of a super haunted cemetery

*commissions a plumbing system for the city, but the fresh water and waste water portions are not seperate

*designs an offensive new town flag (like the "Learn to fart" flag from that one Simpsons episode)

*outlaws bread, claiming its bad for public health

*starts an initiative to reduce the number of stray cats in he city. The number of rats rises dramatically.

[Rockphed]

*Hires an advisor who is obviously the head of the thieves guild wearing a fake mustache.

This reminds me of an episode of MASH where everyone saw right through the CIA agent's disguise because he was the only person who could look so little like him. Alternatively, it reminds me of the movie Candleshoe where the butler dresses up to be a long list of other characters to hide how broke the titular estate is. Just imagine that the entire mayor's advisorial council is staffed by a single, extremely overworked person.

[Willie the Duck]

The new dam and reservoir system will work perfectly because it will only raise the water level to 32 feat, and the surrounding hills are 35 feet*. It's a plan with no possible flaws.
*average

[Clistenes]

{Scrubbed}

Hey! I want to know what it was about!



*outlaws bread, claiming its bad for public health*


It has salt! And gluten! GLUTEN!!!

[No brains]

Hires a Kenku barrister as his expert in bird law.

[Bohandas]

*Storing grain in mausoleums1

*Outlawing farting

*Declares war on something that isn't a foreign government

1like in Sid Meier's Civilization 2 (http://civilization.wikia.com/wiki/Pyramids_(Civ2)) and that one conspiracy theory that was going around back in 2016

[Bohandas]

*Sends out the town crier with short, self-aggrandizing, semi-coherent soundbites

*Turns the city hall into a casino

*Takes credit for the PCs' accomplishments, his underlings' accomplishments, and actions of the gods. Declares claims to the contrary to be fake news.

*Declares himself king of a nation on the other side of the world that already has a well known monarch

*Bans illness. Anyone caught being sick subject to severe penalties.

*Holds a celebration for the current adventure's mission being accomplished long before the current adventure's mission is anywhere close to being accomplished.

*Appoints a demon as captain of the guard

*Builds a literal monument to government waste

*Makes the townsfolk salute the drying laundry on his clothesline

[Misterwhisper]

Appoints a town flag that is a picture of him giving a thumbs up.

Starts a bards college for giants.
(Funny backstory behind that one, short version was a 3.5 storm giant shadow dancer npc.)

Wants to build the Mount Rushmore of powerful wizards of the realms.

Clockwork custodians

[holywhippet]

Having heard of the running of the bulls, the mayor tries to found the running of the umber hulks.

[XmonkTad]

Having heard of the running of the bulls, the mayor tries to found the running of the umber hulks.

Yes! Every time they come back to see the same mayor he's founding the running of some other dangerous creature.

[Personification]

Yes! Every time they come back to see the same mayor he's founding the running of some other dangerous creature.

"Welcome to the first annual running of the giant sharks! Wait, where are the sharks, I ordered giant sharks!?!?!?!"
"But sir, giant sharks can't run, they can only move underwat-*choke*"
"I find your lack of fish disturbing!"

[holywhippet]

"Welcome to the first annual running of the giant sharks! Wait, where are the sharks, I ordered giant sharks!?!?!?!"
"But sir, giant sharks can't run, they can only move underwat-*choke*"
"I find your lack of fish disturbing!"

That is no problem, there's always bulettes (http://5e.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/bulette.htm).

[Personification]

That is no problem, there's always bulettes (http://5e.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/bulette.htm).

"That's not a shark!!!!! Sharks can't run on land!"
"That's what I was trying to say sir."
"Bah! Next you'll be forcing me to do the running of the loan sharks. Actually, lets do that, but they have to ride owlbears! Yeeesss, this will be a fun celebration! Actually, we'll do all three!!! Running of the giant sharks, followed by the running of the land sharks followed by the running of the loan sharks!!!"
"B-b-b-but... *siiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhh* We'll put out a bulletin and start making signs, sir."

[Bohandas]

"Welcome to the first annual running of the giant sharks! Wait, where are the sharks, I ordered giant sharks!?!?!?!"
"But sir, giant sharks can't run, they can only move underwat-*choke*"
"I find your lack of fish disturbing!"

"we do have ill-tempered mutated sea bass"

[Lille]

The town guard is too busy to guard the town, because the mayor has them all waging a war against emus (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War).

The mayor hires Flumps as town guards, on the basis that aberrations=dangerous.

The mayor starts a Wildlife Preservation Centre/zoo, to protect "endangered" creatures from the adventurers that are trying to stamp them out. Special mention goes to the conjoined Gas Spore/Beholder exhibit.

[Bohandas]

*A highly publicized harebrained scheme to somehow unify the lawmaking process and the sausage making process into a single process. He talks about it at length and drags people on tours whenever given half a chance.

*Bans drinking on sundays and makes drinking mandatory on saturdays

*From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYfmRwryQo)

[No brains]

Leaning on the 4th wall by making unfun homebrew and UA tweaks into in-world laws. Season to taste.

[noob]

The town guard is too busy to guard the town, because the mayor has them all waging a war against emus (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War).

The mayor hires Flumps as town guards, on the basis that aberrations=dangerous.

The mayor starts a Wildlife Preservation Centre/zoo, to protect "endangered" creatures from the adventurers that are trying to stamp them out. Special mention goes to the conjoined Gas Spore/Beholder exhibit.

Flumps being CR1 in dnd 3.5 means it is quite dangerous creatures and that 4 level 1 adventurers are supposed to consume approximatively 25% of their resources to club one of those innocent creatures to death.

[Clistenes]

*Storing grain in mausoleums1

I don't think we are allowed to write about real-life politics, but a certain American politician claimed that the three greatest Pyramids were granaries build by Joseph from the Old Testament. He was ridiculed because the hollow space inside the pyramids is smaller than your regular traditional wooden barn a farmer can build on his on in a few months, but the Pyramids of Kheops on its own has more stone than all the churches and cathedrals ever raised in England combined, and it has been estimated to have required 12,000 workers to labor during 20 years (earlier estimations claimed they would be as much as 100,000 workers...).

[Bohandas]

*Building a stadium that is larger than the town itself

*Invests in the organized crime industry. Not taking bribes from it or being part of it mind you, offering incentives to attract it as if it were a legitimate industry.

*Lots of crazy blue laws. Like no smiling, whistling, farting, or exaggerating on holy days.

*Preemptively has anyone wearing a black hat arrested as a probable criminal

*Has summoned monsters arrested for entering the area without the proper traveling papers

*His new system for dealing with evil cultists: Instead of burning them at the stake has his men take torches to wherever the cult is operating from and burn that place down, eliminating the middleman. Of course the fire then spreads to the adjacent buildings, and so far he has burned down the town at least twice this way.

*After reading a book about animal camoflague and how animals avoid predators, he has the city hall, the bank, the gold mine, and other places of interest painted in spots and stripes to confuse criminals

[Bohandas]

*To promote public decency all animals shall be required to wear pants

*To prevent people from joking around in times of crisis it shall be illegal during any declared emergency for chickens to cross the road, for products to be sold door to door, or for any ethnic person to change a lightbulb

[Emtwoay]

The mayor spends all the towns money on Tom Jones memorabilia thinking its the best investment in the world.

[The Jack]

The man hires mages to create a defence for the city from a nearby invader, turning trees from the surrounding forest into ents.

The town's industry is primarily lumber.
It's enemy are Fae

[Bohandas]

*He's going to pave the streets with gold

*To promote diversity everybody must talk in funny accents

*Tax on swearing. Anyone who says a dirty word must place money in the municipal swear jar

*A crackdown on things that don't make sense in-setting because they reference real-world people or locations in some way (such as in their names). You wouldn't be allowed to eat french toast, for example.

[Zanthy1]

Founds the town's first Yacht Club, despite there being no large body of water nearby.

This is taken from something that happened in one of my games. I had given out some special elixers that were essentially unique artifacts. The barbarian drank one that "made the next business venture succeed." He then proposed to the King that they found a yacht club on the lake (that was not really that close). He rolled a 20, the King rolled a 1 and thus the Yacht Club was formed, and it succeeded.

[Arcangel4774]

*A crackdown on things that don't make sense in-setting because they reference real-world people or locations in some way (such as in their names). You wouldn't be allowed to eat french toast, for example.

Makes me think of the Game of Thrones episode with the French dress. Went right by everyone else but i was bugged as all get out

[Sigreid]

Really, just cruise some news sites. There's no shortage of politicians enacting or trying to enact some idiotic policy.

[samcifer]

All your best ideas are here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvjVHlfb-PU

[Bohandas]

*Names a civic building in memorial to some prominent town figure but then realizes that said figure isn;t dead yet so can't have a memorial. Sends hitmen to rectify the situation.

[Rockphed]

*Names a civic building in memorial to some prominent town figure but then realizes that said figure isn;t dead yet so can't have a memorial. Sends hitmen to rectify the situation.

"Now mandelbrot's in heaven. Or he will be when he's dead..."

[Tvtyrant]

He hires a group of giant carpenters to make him a mayoral palace on a grand scale, but while they only asked for 10 gold pieces each they expect them to be giant sized.

The major decides they need more streetperformers so he lets a group of sirens settle there. Now everyone sits around fascinated.

The mayor believes the town needs a better record system so he hires a Mindflayer to perform last rites and run the library. Anyone can ask Mr. Flayer about the town or their families history, but it eats them when they are about to pass.

The Mayor decides to implement a free energy program, so he has a massive seance and returns thousands of ghosts to the town. By day they clean the streets, perform essential tasks and take care of hurt, sick and elderly. Just don't leave your house wards at night.

[TrashTrash]

Deciding that all of the people of the town must dress as rodeo clowns and allow their bulls/cows to roam the streets for a week.

All dogs must wear orange collars, except if they weigh less than 8lbs. Those dogs must wear yellow collars.

Adventurers are required to visit the tavern twice per person while they are lodging within a 30-yard radius of the town.

Bonnets must be worn on Sunday. By men, women, children, and animals.

Statues manufactured in the city must bear some sort of resemblance to the mayor or his family.

Cats must be trained to speak Common, and if they cannot be trained they will be exiled from the town.

If it rains on a Friday, anyone over 45 must complain about their knees.

[Bohandas]

*He's in a bitter feud with the town council, trying to get them to approve his pet project: an enormous golden monument in honor of government waste

*Randomly strongarms local artisans into making useless items out of rare materials

[The Jack]

*He's in a bitter feud with the town council, trying to get them to approve his pet project: an enormous golden monument in honor of government waste


*applause*

Some day ill steal this. You're free to harass me when i do.

[Segev]

In order to make sure nobody ever suffers from poverty, he outlaws being poor. People who make less than 400 sp per year are to be fined 10 sp a day until they do.
Institutes the Town Weatherman, and demands he keep it from raining during the day. The last three times it rained turing the day, he threw the Weatherman in jail and appointed as the new one the first person he saw after it stopped raining.
Having heard that spellcasters just win everything, he pacted with something weird and became a Warlock, and promptly passed a law that anybody who isn't already a spellcaster must pact with his patron.
Made pumpkin pie the town food. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know what a "pumpkin" is.
Ordered a diving platform built over the town treasury. So far, has been convinced it's too shallow to safely swim in, but with the way adventurers are paying taxes lately, his life may be in danger soon.

[Tvtyrant]

I really like the weatherman one. Yoinked.

[Bohandas]

*Invests in the organized crime industry. Not taking bribes from it or being part of it mind you, offering incentives to attract it as if it were a legitimate industry.

*Lots of crazy blue laws. Like no smiling, whistling, farting, or exaggerating on holy days.

Combining these: Blue laws, but ones designed to court the favor of the god of rogues, so everyone is, for example, required to go to clubs and get drunk on friday.

[Bohandas]

*Appoints a horse as his assistant

*Adopts an excessively long town motto.

[Rockphed]

*Appoints a horse as his assistant

**Appoints a cat as chief of the secret police.
***Becomes convinced that a polar bear found in the woods is his long lost brother.
****Decides that his grandfather must have been a dragon.
*****Declares war on the elephants in the forest.

*Decides that since both elephants and elves live in forests, they must be different castes of the same creature. Subsidizes elf couples to have more children in hopes of getting elephant warriors.

*Attempts to start trade relations with the dwarves. Leads by mocking their height.

[noob]

Cats must be trained to speak Common, and if they cannot be trained they will be exiled from the town.

That mayor is coming straight from pathfinder where animals can be retrained to talk and where being retrained in doing so makes them stop having the animal type(the type they get is not indicated but they no longer fit the less than 3 int condition because being able to read and write makes you have 3 int at least)

[DrowPiratRobrts]

He makes a deal with a dragon to have it act as the town banker, but it quickly demands more and more "deposits."



I actually love this one! You could also say the dragon agrees to it knowing that it'll never allow money to be withdrawn from the vault. The mayor could do a surprise unveiling of the new bank security in front of the whole town. They see the dragon just sleeping on all their gold. Then the mayor is stuck between a dragon and an angry village. I smell a plot hook for your friendly neighborhood adventuring party!

[Misterwhisper]

- Because they could all just be evil Druids coming to spy on the town, all animals are banned from inside city limits, he even employs multiple archers to be his "ADDICT"s - Airborne Disguised Druid Infiltrator Countermeasure Team"

[Sigreid]

I actually love this one! You could also say the dragon agrees to it knowing that it'll never allow money to be withdrawn from the vault. The mayor could do a surprise unveiling of the new bank security in front of the whole town. They see the dragon just sleeping on all their gold. Then the mayor is stuck between a dragon and an angry village. I smell a plot hook for your friendly neighborhood adventuring party!

Those minimum balances are a killer.

All gnomes and halflings are required to walk on stilts so they are a proper height and not under foot.

[Bohandas]

Having seen depictions of a person with a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other he has hired a demon and an eladrin as advisors

[Tvtyrant]

Having seen depictions of a person with a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other he has hired a demon and an eladrin as advisors

Going a step further, every person in town gets a free imp and lantern archon to act as their advisors. The mayor believes every story has two sides and they deserve to be heard.

[noob]

Going a step further, every person in town gets a free imp and lantern archon to act as their advisors. The mayor believes every story has two sides and they deserve to be heard.

Would not that result in imps trying to kill lantern archons and lantern archons reciprocating?

[Bohandas]

Would not that result in imps trying to kill lantern archons and lantern archons reciprocating?

Not if they're both under contract

[noob]

Not if they're both under contract

Lantern archons are not devils they usually do not do twisted contracts nor are they obligated to follow them.
They are lawful to good not to the inconsequential papers you want them to sign.
If somehow the contract was magically binding or if following the contract was of capital importance the lantern archons and the imps would probably spend comparable efforts in twisting those contracts(like "I am not allowed to kill the second adviser of the person for which I am an adviser but I did not sign anything about the advisers of the other people").
By the way are not lantern archons homebrew in 5e?

[Segev]

Insists that people dress for the weather the Weatherman has predicted. Anybody not doing so is arrested and charged with altering the weather without a license (if dressed for the weather as it is and not what was predicted), or "attempted alteration of the weather without a license" (if dressed inappropriately for the weather and the weather is what the Weatherman predicted).




Those minimum balances are a killer.

All gnomes and halflings are required to walk on stilts so they are a proper height and not under foot.

Alternatively, has ordered that all sidewalks have elevated platforms exclusively for gnome and halfling traffic, so all are travelling at the same height. Small creatures must use them; medium may not.

After the party (or irate townsfolk) point out, strenuously, that the elevated platforms serve as barriers to human-tall creatures and make the walkways far less convenient, has the platforms turned into 3-foot-long posts with 3-foot gaps between them, so medium creatures can walk between them and small creatures have to leap from platform to platform.

Also requires that all buildings have counters and tables on elevated platforms for Small creatures, and that Small creatures exclusively use those (and no Medium-sized ones use them).

[TrashTrash]

That mayor is coming straight from pathfinder where animals can be retrained to talk and where being retrained in doing so makes them stop having the animal type(the type they get is not indicated but they no longer fit the less than 3 int condition because being able to read and write makes you have 3 int at least)

Oh, didn't know that, thanks for the info :smallsmile:! Well, maybe change it to all rocks are exiled because he thinks they're eavesdropping on everyone or something.

[iTreeby]

The mayor enforces multiclass stat requirements, because "min maxing has its place but some things go against the natural order".

No adventurer is allowed to long rest without having spent at least half their hit dice as that practice encourages "taking it easy on the monsters".

[Bohandas]

*Due to budget cutbacks and poor oversight an attempt to magically feed the town has resulted in a combination of Strega Nona/ (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strega_Nona)Sweet Porridge/ (https://www.pitt.edu/~dash/grimm103.html)Why The Sea Is Salty (http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0565.html) and the Great Boston Molasses Disaster (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Molasses_Flood)

*He's tired of buildings made of stone. Let's try the other elements. He's tried igloos for water, but they melted in the hot weather. Now he's going to try to find a way to make buildigs out of fire.




There was a very long 3.5 thread about a city built atop an unconcious tarrasque which was harvested for its food, bone and other resources. It also meant the city had a nuke in that attacking it meant they could wake it up.

Having the mayor actually succeed would be hilarious, and provide a unique setting piece.

Edit: apparently that idea got big, there is a a published kick starter setting for it called Salt in Wounds and a reddit for it.


Is that the one Dingo Doodles (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-1WJtuzPg) is playing?




"Welcome to the first annual running of the giant sharks! Wait, where are the sharks, I ordered giant sharks!?!?!?!"
"But sir, giant sharks can't run...

"Then build them mechanical legs"

[Tvtyrant]

Channeling Zapp Brannigan, he could spend the entire budget on a flying fortress or super-weapon but then let the towns' enemies inside because of the whole "keep your enemies closer" thing.

Or he goes full villain and decides to invade the neighboring town on his "deterrant."

[Bohandas]

*Declares a state of emergency because he's out of beer

*Forces the town crier to convey all messages through pantomime

[Bohandas]

To save money the town guardsmen will use hobby horses instead of real horses

[Rockphed]

To save money the town guardsmen will use hobby horses instead of real horses

They will also use the hobby horses as staves.

[noob]

I am sure a town with buildings made out of fire would attract adventurers: you do not have to work for seeing the town on fire.
Also houses of fire makes garbage disposal easier.
If only humans survived being on fire.

[Segev]

He has ordered the construction of an enormous vault that is a combination of the most ostentatious security and the most gaudy decorative features imaginable, in which to contain the town treasury. To protect it from embezzlers. He spent the entirety of the treasury on the vault.

[noob]

He has ordered the construction of an enormous vault that is a combination of the most ostentatious security and the most gaudy decorative features imaginable, in which to contain the town treasury. To protect it from embezzlers. He spent the entirety of the treasury on the vault.

It explains most dungeons.
Also the day he gets the town treasury to move around (one cheap stronghold enchantment) it will be a deadly war weapon (and look even more silly).

[Velaryon]

He orders the construction of a grandiose water fountain in the town square. Water is provided via an open, unguarded portal to the plane of water.

[The Jack]

Stops over-fishing by burying the rivers and lakes.
Prevents a wall from being built by building a wall where the first wall would've been built.
Encourages a minority he hates to increase their population so that he doesn't feel guilty about hating a minority.

[Bohandas]

Requesting any kind of government service requires something similar to creating an account on a website. You have to register a secret password which must meet ridiculous requirements that make it impossible to remember and make it a de facto necessity that it be written down somewhere, and also register security password change security questions that any acquaintance of the person would know. The effect of this is that now any townsperson's identity can be stolen by anyone who finds where their password is written or succeeds at a gather information check (wih the DC being lower for more well known figures)

[TrashTrash]

Mothers are only allowed to discipline their children with the written consent of a city official, thereby creating even worse of a problem with bratty, out-of-control children.

After noticing that people liked to stop and read the plaque about a historic building, he paid for plaques to be set up every ten feet to educate people about the town. The only issue is that the plaques all have the same message, which is mainly dedicated to dedicating the plaque to the Mayor.

[Toofey]

well... that was in the totally wrong thread... sorry

[Bohandas]

*Has the police randomly strip search people

*Tries to improve health statistics by kicking all the sick people out of town

*Trades the city hall for magic beans

[TregMallin]

*He's tired of buildings made of stone. Let's try the other elements. He's tried igloos for water, but they melted in the hot weather. Now he's going to try to find a way to make buildigs out of fire.


The new town motto: This is fine.

[TrashTrash]

- Setting up a monument to his clothes
- holding a city-wide seance without actually knowing how to hold a seance
- trying to set up a tourist attraction in the shape of a giant gardening hoe. (Note that depending on your players, they might make some somewhat inappropriate jokes about this :)
- hiring a hype man with so low of an INT score that the only word they know how to say is yes

[jdizzlean]

The Mod Life Crisis: Thread Necromancy is bad.