If YOU could know and cast any one 1st level spell in the real world.... [Archive]

MightyDuck

2018-12-25, 04:16 AM

Okay, let's do this xD

For cantrips, spells like mending, prestidigitation, minor illusion, message, any of the elemental spells and potentially spare the dying (it's not flashy but you could potentially avoid a lot of tragedy in your life and be a great doctor)

For 1st level spell, any healing spell would be amazing in real life, you can even use them on yourself. You could do some really great things with create and destroy water/purify food and water, go to a third world country and start making life better for people. If you just want to have fun go for spells spells like disguise self and silent image, unseen servant, sleep and especially charm person. Just to throw some more ideas out there; you could use find familliar to have the best pet ever, jump/expeditious retreat/longstrider for the equivalent of super mobility, comprehended languages to read anything anywhere in the world (and become the world's greatest translator), sanctuary to keep you safe, speak with animals to speak with freakin animals and the best of all, animal friendship, to befriend all the dogs in the world and take them all for yourself.

I'll stop there as there are a lot of spells at hightler levels, but my point is that magic is awesome and any spell would be awesome in real life if applied properly. If I had to pick one, it would probably be charm person since I have a lot of trouble talking to people, also I could use the spell to convince the people in power to do good things for the world, with some clever use of the spell you could probably rule the world but you could also do a lot of good xD so you've got a lot of options.

Merry Christmas, hope this thread helps tide some of your boredom.

Dalebert

2018-12-25, 10:16 AM

I need clarity. The answers so far seem to assume you mean at-will. Or is this 1/day? 2 or 3/day (like a low-level caster)?

Without knowing that detail? Find Familiar, hands down. Actually even knowing that it would probably be FF but maybe at-will Unseen Servant or at-will Silent Image.

Charm person, comprehend languages or disguise self are my picks tied for top. All of them are good every day, disguise self saves you thousands of dollars on wardrobe in addition to being whoever you want, charm person would make life amazingly easy, and comprehend languages just kind of opens all media to you.

If not at-will, then I don't see how disguise self gets you out of having to get dressed unless you're really reclusive and only go out for an hour a day, or 2 or 3 hours a day depending. Same idea with the others. You could watch a certain amount of anime without the bad dubbing. You could lubricate a social transaction a few times a day, which actually does sound like enough to be useful, until they turn on you and despise you and report you to the police for using some weird mind control thing on them. And then the police think that person is crazy but they have to investigate so they come to your home and you do it on them and now they laugh it off and walk away, but come back an hour later and decide your house smells like meth and they have to SWAT you.

My roommate loves these sorts of speculations. I should link him.

Citan

2018-12-25, 10:24 AM

Charm person, comprehend languages or disguise self are my picks tied for top. All of them are good every day, disguise self saves you thousands of dollars on wardrobe in addition to being whoever you want, charm person would make life amazingly easy, and comprehend languages just kind of opens all media to you.
Totally same mindset for me... . :)
With one big difference though: I'd definitely hesitate MUCH with Speak With Animals!

Even if we may not like answers very much, this would definitely open a whole new dimension in how humanity would interact with animal realm. :)

Balyano

2018-12-25, 10:31 AM

For the good of others, cure wounds or gooseberry or healing word or possibly purify food and drink.

For my own selfish purposes, unseen servant.

But we DO have ''gooseberry'' in real life.

Mending, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Spare The Dying, would all be useful in real life, bonus that they are cantrips and not 1/day or how ever it would work for the leveled spells.

Derpldorf

2018-12-25, 10:59 AM

Unseen Servant. Hands down, its Unseen Servant.

Brings to mind a question, would a servant use appliances? Like if you said "Clean my house." would it use a vacuum cleaner? Dish Washer? Laundry machine? Power wash the siding?

Naanomi

2018-12-25, 11:06 AM

Am I a ritual caster? That matters... if not, then Healing Word is my choice

Also, find familiar... sounds fun but I don’t have that kind of cash

Jophiel

2018-12-25, 11:16 AM

You could watch a certain amount of anime without the bad dubbing.
I'd think the ability to flawlessly translate spoken or written language for an hour a day (or a couple times a day) would have huge implications in archeology or national security/espionage. People fluent in less common languages are regularly in demand by the government.

I agree that Disguise Self might make for a nice trick or (again) espionage tool but it's not going to replace your wardrobe. The fact that the illusion doesn't include touch really limits it. Create Water would be helpful short term but, unless you plan on living your life as a water spout in an African village, isn't going to be a long term solution. Detect Poison & Disease would be an amazing diagnostic tool and keep you in demand; I'd potentially choose it over Cure Wounds.

Or just take Unseen Servant and have it clean your house. Between that and Prestidigitation for food/laundry, you could have a pretty comfortable home.

I'd stay away from anything requiring a save since I'm not all that confident in my innate Int/Wis/Cha to pull it off :smallwink:

Sariel Vailo

2018-12-25, 11:27 AM

Some spells i want in the real world.. Cure wounds
Enhance ability and vicious mockery.

CTurbo

2018-12-25, 11:36 AM

Naanomi

2018-12-25, 11:38 AM

ProsecutorGodot

2018-12-25, 11:42 AM

There was a thread made on these forums a few months back that asked "What would you take for Magic Initiate IRL"

My answer and reasoning haven't changed: Goodberry.

It saves you a fortune on food costs and is more nourishing than most of the cheap foods I would be buying anyway. The only real downside of not having cantrip option attached is lacking Prestidigitation to flavor the Goodberry.

JakOfAllTirades

2018-12-25, 12:29 PM

For cantrips, I'd love to have Mending. I just hate living in a world of planned obsolescence where it seems like everything is designed to break.

Cure Wounds wins for a 1st level spell; health care is costing me a fortune.

For 2nd level I'm just gonna have to say Suggestion because people are a problem.

At 3rd level I'd charge big $$$ to cast plant growth as a ritual. And work part time the rest of the year healing and mending, LOL.

Laserlight

2018-12-25, 01:13 PM

UA Unearthly Chorus. Put on a little light jazz or quiet classical, beguile one person per action, and they don't automatically know they've been Charmed afterward.

Unseen Servant and Comprehend Language would be other contenders.

Foxhound438

2018-12-25, 01:46 PM

thunderous smite so I could absolutely obliterate someone by kicking them in the shin

though Find Familiar would probably be better in terms of something that doesn't get me sent to prison. Remote vision is pretty good, and pets are cool.

Probably just misty step for a second level, if nothing else I can teleport behind people and say "nothing personal kid" for the meme of it.

Cyclops08

2018-12-25, 01:49 PM

Charm person has the catch that the person you just charmed knows it's been charmed when the spell wears off. That would get you into trouble. lol
But not if you used Disguise Self beforehand. Then someone ELSE would get into trouble.

Cyclops08

2018-12-25, 01:54 PM

if I was limited to one 1st level spell, I would take Unseen Servant and never do chores again.

But to be honest, I would rather have Prestidigitation for two reasons.
1) I could use it at will
2) versatility and CLEANING.

Misterwhisper

2018-12-25, 02:03 PM

Goodberry.

All food needs for 10 people every day.

That would cover myself and my wife and our 2 kids, with 6 left over to give to others, or sell them if I need to.

I imagine it would be a great diet plan too.

BarneyBent

2018-12-25, 04:16 PM

Prestidigitation. Become the greatest magician of all time.

Ganymede

2018-12-25, 04:57 PM

Longstrider would add an MPH to my running speed, which would be nice.

Sleep would be nice in emergencies because it would likely always work: people in real life have hardly any HP and the spell allows no save. Also, it wouldn't result in a murder charge. You could also maybe cast it on yourself instead of taking Ambien.

Damon_Tor

2018-12-25, 05:16 PM

lol thanks for all the fun answers

I didn't think about the healing spells because it's hard to equate them to real life. I guess Cure Wounds would be more like cure the Flu. Still infinitely useful of course.

Not really: the flu is a disease, which Cure Wounds wouldn't effect.

You'd be able to close wounds, stop pain, maybe even mend broken bones. You could make huge money working for a sports team, patching up athletes that would otherwise have to leave field due to injury.

JumboWheat01

2018-12-25, 07:01 PM

Comprehend Languages would be so handy, and not for just watching anime and reading manga, though they would probably get the most usage, by far.

Speak with Animals would be my next pick if I couldn't have the former. Don't tell me you never wanted to know just what exactly your cat was thinking.

Though with the way I sleep, Alarm would actually be a very good choice, just Alarm my house, and be instantly woke up if someone tried to do something such as breaking in. Normally I'd just sleep through that.

SVamp

2018-12-25, 07:08 PM

Time for one of these eh? Fun

Hmm, I think sleep if I could pull off subtle casting. Cure wounds would be amazing if you choose to be a doctor but the odds of your secret coming out eventually are pretty damn high.

Cantrips? Again it depends on whether I can subtle cast or not. Toll the dead or any save based cantrip that isn’t flashily pointing a big arrow towards me would be pretty useful in this day and age.

But if we assume ‘normal’ conditions in which anyone overtly displaying signs of real magic would find themselves in a nicely secured government lab? Probably shield if it’s invisible/you can’t really tell something beyond ‘being very lucky/having great reflexes’ for six seconds happened, find familiar if it’s not/you can tell something’s up

(I’m assuming mage Armour would have knives and bullets deflected by thin air around you ... say hello to the nice lab..)

Without a sure fire way to disguise myself a lot of the spells simply are too risky to rely on, imho. Charm person is great and all .. until you have someone chasing after you, trying to look st security footage to see if he can trace back this mind powers person. Even disguise self is not fool proof because of this, but it helps a lot. But the Qs was re: only one spell, so find familiar it is.

Taebyn

2018-12-25, 07:44 PM

Any healing would probably be the right choice. Purely fun, feather fall.

ross

2018-12-25, 08:00 PM

create water allows you to create mass from nothing, violating thermodynamics and creating free energy. infinite uses.

comprehend languages lets you make massive amounts of cash from perfect, effortless, universal translation

cure light wounds makes you the best medic in the world

endure elements = no more climate control, save on utilities each month

summon monster I: again, free mass, free food, free energy

unseen servant: no more trips to the kitchen for snacks, debatable if you could teach it to get groceries if the store's in walking distance

floating disk: speaking of groceries, never make more than one trip from the car again

enlarge person: free mass

expeditious retreat: win races

Damon_Tor

2018-12-25, 08:10 PM

I'm looking for what could make you real money. Command might be the best: it would be absurdly useful in sales: "sign" as you slide the contract towards them. Work your way up the corporate ladder and make a name for yourself as a closer: you can close any deal. Sure in a D&D setting everyone would understand it was magic, but here you'd just be this legendary negotiator who could get anyone to sign anything.

Other uses: put art up for auction at an absurd price, go into the audience and command someone wealthy "bid". Play poker/blackjack/whatever and tell the other guy "fold" if your hand is crap, or "raise" when it's good. Bet against a MMA fighter and command him to "fall" during his bout. This last one might be one of the best, because nobody would take notice of you: people shout stuff at fighters all the time.

EDIT: I know "fall" wouldn't knock him out, but dropping to the ground for 6 seconds creates a huge advantage for the other guy. And assuming I have 3 spell slots per day I can just tell him to do something else that isn't fighting for another 12 seconds. "Writhe" would probably get the referee to call the match.

jaappleton

2018-12-25, 09:16 PM

I just want Prestidigitation so doing laundry isn’t the bane of my existence anymore.

Sigreid

2018-12-25, 09:24 PM

Unseen servant to do the household chores I don't want to do.

Bohandas

2018-12-25, 09:31 PM

Either Unseen Servant, Prestidigitation, Cure Light Wounds, Disguise Self, Endure Elements,Comprehend Languages, or Charm Person.

Probably one of the first two

Laserlight

2018-12-25, 09:34 PM

comprehend languages lets you make massive amounts of cash from perfect, effortless, universal translation

Except it's not perfect. You understand the literal meaning, but when the rubber hits the road, you're still going to have misunderstandings.

It would still be really really sweet, if you're a traveler.

guachi

2018-12-25, 11:27 PM

My day job is Navy linguist so Comprehend Languages would make my job really easy.

ross

2018-12-25, 11:32 PM

Except it's not perfect. You understand the literal meaning, but when the rubber hits the road, you're still going to have misunderstandings.

It would still be really really sweet, if you're a traveler.

You're 100% right, but I'm thinking that, in those situations where a translator stands to be paid a decent wage (federal court, fortune 500 CEO personal services, accounting, diplomacy, and so on), literal meaning will usually be good enough, and after all, when you're not translating a work such as a book or film, but rather a face to face (or face to skype) translation, interpretation is explicitly up to the recipient, not you - and that's the way they want it. that is, they want the literal words, so they can make up their own mind about what's being said, and how to respond, even if it's just to request clarification or plainer speech.

add.: oh yeah, armed with comp. lang., 30 days of total immersion in the culture of your choosing should be sufficient to make you indistinguishable from a native speaker

Tanarii

2018-12-25, 11:58 PM

Except it's not perfect. You understand the literal meaning, but when the rubber hits the road, you're still going to have misunderstandings.
Where are you getting that from?

Edit: never mind, that's what I get for following a google Link to dnd5e wikia instead of my PHB /sigh not like I didn't know they're completely unreliable.

Ganymede

2018-12-26, 12:05 AM

Except it's not perfect. You understand the literal meaning, but when the rubber hits the road, you're still going to have misunderstandings.

I don't get why people are saying this; it isn't the spell.

Literally did the same thing Tanarii did.

ross

2018-12-26, 12:08 AM

man, somebody should really update these crappy wikis

add.: updated one wiki with verbatim text from the phb

5crownik007

2018-12-26, 12:36 AM

Oh this is a spicy thread. I like this very much, and it's a very complex topic. Also, everyone's mentioned the very obvious ones(because they're the best), so I'm going to go look and see if I can find something not really thought of AND explain my reasoning.

Here goes, rank order and runners up, only first level spells(all info from d20srd.org, apologies for inaccuracies):

Longstrider. Now, why would I take this over expeditious retreat when it only has one third of the effect? It lasts sixty times longer, and I can literally grab dirt off the ground for the material component.
Endure Elements. In Australia, where it's always either too hot, too cold, too wet, or too dry, this would be really helpful. Right now it's too hot and the mosquitoes are stripping flesh off of bone.
Remove Fear. Sometimes, you're afraid of things you shouldn't be. So obviously, the most healthy solution is to suppress it with a magic spell.

Runner ups in no particular order, including the reason why they didn't make it on:

Alarm. My family is good friends with the neighbors, so sticking an alarm spell on our door or in our house would be a great help so that the police gets called immediately.
Mount. This would be useful if I could summon a mount that wasn't a horse, like a bicycle, or a light motorcycle.
Sleep. I have a friend with insomnia. He sleeps during the day. It would be great if I could just put him to sleep for the night.
Floating Disk. Having something follow you around and carry 45 kilograms of stuff would be really helpful when I'm lifting groceries up the stairs to my house.
Colour Spray. It's essentially pepperspray. Which is excellent for me because pepperspray is banned in Australia. You can be arrested for carrying an item, but if I'm not carrying anything, I can't be arrested.
Entropic Shield. If someone decided to try shooting at me or throwing something at me. It's always better for them to have a higher chance of missing. Fortunately I don't get shot at often enough fo this spell to be useful for me.
Feather Fall. We all learned from Roy that falling to your death is bad. I would take this spell if I spent more time in high places, but I don't, really.
Create Water. Australia is experiencing droughts. Being able to summon water, even slowly, would be incredibly useful. Unfortunately, the other spells were more useful.

I also spent 20 minutes looking at a list of homebrewed spells on https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/3.5e_Spells and came up with some of these. Many of these seem a little bit overpowered, but others seem just fine. This is proof that you should always consider homebrewing some spells and seeing if you can get away with it with your DM, because it can be very, very powerful.

Here goes, rank order and runners up, only first level spells:

Student's Boon. As a student, being able to study a book in one night, ace the test the next day and then forget everything would be really helpful.
Pocket. Being able to store things that I own in my own pocket dimension would be immensely helpful indeed.
Summon Potato. This is ridiculously overpowered. I don't need to buy food anymore. I can summon up to 5 potatoes per day. So, assuming I have a kettle and pay my water and electric bill, I can make mashed potatoes every day for myself and keep some spare potatoes in case I need to make more.

Runner ups in no particular order, including the reason why they didn't make it on:

Summon Weapon. Simply for self-defense reasons. If someone attacks me, I can pull a firearm with 10 rounds straight out of my ***. The reason it didn't make it on is because I don't live in a bad enough neighborhood and the police would arrest me(yes, even if the weapon disappears afterward).
Chaotic Flicker. An alternative to self-defense. Teleport away to a random, safe location within 76 metres. Not much use for me, but fairly neat.
Ell's Handy Homunculus. House servants. Unfortunately, It'd be best for me if I did my own chores, and it's simply out-powered by the other spells.
Draw Forth the Truth. If someone is being unnecessarily annoying and hiding information from me for no reason, I can ask them for it. Then I remembered that respecting people's privacy is one of my core beliefs.
Peaceful Slumber. I have a friend with insomnia problems. I'd take this if only so he didn't sleep in the middle of the day.
Randal's Quick Copy. I already have a typing speed upwards of 90 wpm on average. If I had this, I could finish my classes 40 minutes early by copying long winded questions and solutions down straight from books.
Orb of Light. Too obvious, but being able to summon light would be very helpful.
Inner Air. As someone with asthma, this spell was very appealing, but the other spells just seemed more useful.
Flare, Greater. Trapped in the forest, no communication. Light up a flare. Problem is that I don't get lost in the forest very often.

ross

2018-12-26, 12:40 AM

man, if even a tiny percentage of earth's population could cast create water as a full time job, it would save us so much energy compared to desalination

using 5e

wizard's spell slots with no special bonuses are 4, 3, 3, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1

because create water's progression is 10 gallons per spell level (no extra amount for first), we can just sum up the total spell levels from all slots, giving 18 spell levels total, for 180 gallons per wizard per day

california consumed 38 billion gallons in 2010

so it would take about 586,420 wizards doing nothing but casting create water every single day to supply all of california's water needs; that's a little more than the population of fresno

more generally, a human needs about 2L or 0.5 gallons of water per day on average, so one wizard can support 360 people. so if 0.28% of everyone on earth were 20th level wizards, we would have unlimited fresh drinkable water that we would never have to worry about filtering or testing - at least until it csme in contact with our storage / distribution infrastructure

5crownik007

2018-12-26, 12:59 AM

man, if even a tiny percentage of earth's population could cast create water as a full time job, it would save us so much energy compared to desalination
If this scenario included other people then I would have me and my friends learn create water, try to get other people to take create water, and then start a company dedicated to selling water to people in places where water is difficult to find or get. If I had 100 employees, I could make 200 gallons of water or 757 litres per day. That might not sound like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but then if you consider that I could station employees in remote towns and areas to summon their water on demand in exchange for money instead of having to transport heavy, dense water in petrol guzzling trucks all across the country, I might actually make a profit.

But if it was only me, being able to summon three litres of water per day wouldn't really be helpful.

EDIT: and then you did the math for the whole planet's population(but using 5e, I was using 3.5)

ross

2018-12-26, 01:01 AM

If this scenario included other people then I would have me and my friends learn create water, try to get other people to take create water, and then start a company dedicated to selling water to people in places where water is difficult to find or get. If I had 100 employees, I could make 200 gallons of water or 757 litres per day. That might not sound like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but then if you consider that I could station employees in remote towns and areas to summon their water on demand in exchange for money instead of having to transport heavy, dense water in petrol guzzling trucks all across the country, I might actually make a profit.

But if it was only me, being able to summon three litres of water per day wouldn't really be helpful.

if you use the gp to xp rule, then as you sell water, your 100 employees will go from 200 gallons of water a day to 18,000; enough for 36,000 people. not too shabby

in 3.5, you can get 40 gallons from one spell slot at 20th level, but unfortunately you can only use first level spell slots; although, i think you have like six 1st level spell slots in 3.5 at 20th with no bonuses, so you actually come out ahead with 240 gallons / day, 50% more! and with 3.5 you also have broken metamagic and item creation to push it further

woops, 240 is 33% more thsn 180, not 50%. still a decent bump

BobZan

2018-12-26, 05:57 AM

Charm Person so I could have a chance to win an argument against my wife.

Feather Fall would be cool for skydivers.

Speak with Animals would be nice a nice trait aswell

Laserlight

2018-12-26, 07:29 AM

You're 100% right, but I'm thinking that, in those situations where a translator stands to be paid a decent wage (federal court, fortune 500 CEO personal services, accounting, diplomacy, and so on), literal meaning will usually be good enough, and after all, when you're not translating a work such as a book or film, but rather a face to face (or face to skype) translation, interpretation is explicitly up to the recipient, not you - and that's the way they want it. that is, they want the literal words

Not really. If you're just translating birth certificates, yeah, but for anything more than that, the linguist needs to know idiom slang and connotation as well as denotation. I used to sell localization services, and we had a list of Unfortunate Incidents where a word for word literal translation went hilariously wrong. Basically Comprehend Language is not-very-good machine translation; you can usually function and you will generally know what a conversation is about, but no one will believe that you're a native.

Tanarii

2018-12-26, 07:41 AM

so if 0.28% of everyone on earth were 20th level wizards
I usually assume about 1 in 100 billion is the maximum population for 20th level characters. More typical about 1 in 1 trillion.
(1 in 100 or 1000 times one over 1/2^20, assuming base one in 100 adventurers as high density and 1 in 1000 as typical, and 1/2 the adventuring pop is level 1, 1/2 remaining 2, etc.)

Assuming 1/12 are Wizards, that's no more than 1 in 1.2 trillion, but more likely 1 in 12 trillion. Or 8x10-11, or .0000000008% of the population. Or 1 on the entire planet.

Of course, Clerics and Druids can Create Water too. So call it 3 20th level casters that can output the volume you've described on the entire planet. Pretty sure they'd have other things to do with their time though. :smallwink:

Spore

2018-12-26, 07:51 AM

Speak with Animals to further the whole field of zoology. Then again I'd have to convince people I can actually talk to animals and am not just crazy...

Detect Magic is a real gamble. If I am the only one capable of magic, it would be wasted. However if not...

Featherfall feels pretty exciting but not to me, as I have a fear of heights.

If UA is allowed, I'd rather cast Healing Elixir than Cure Wounds because it is more potent and does not require me being there. But with everything abuse is possible.

AHF

2018-12-26, 08:18 AM

Can’t believe I’ve seen a dozen references to cantrips without guidance appearing once. Almost everything we do on a daily basis IRL falls under a skill check category.

Persuading others? Researching? Writing? Trying to develop a new computer program? Looking to ask someone out? Practice medicine? Lawyer? Painter? Doctor? Writer? Engineer? Mechanic? IT professional? Musician? Politician? Athlete?

You instantly become 5-20% better at just about everything you do. No risk of being stuck in a lab or put under surveillance— just fully better at everything.

Maybe this explains how Steph Curry shoots the ball so well even from far distances. Give pacing issues, probably would work better in baseball. A 5-20% increase in batting average would be amazing for a borderline professional athlete.

It is very close to a 2-8 point increase in every stat. Not that good but a nice approximation for most purposes.

Damon_Tor

2018-12-26, 08:31 AM

On using Comprehend Languages to be a translator: aren't most translators supposed to able to translate both ways? It's going to seem rather strange to your boss when you can't translate English back to Chinese or whatever? And really, how much longer do you think there's going to be a market for a translator? Software is already phasing that job out. In another 10 years there won't be any reason to get a human to do it at all.

Tanarii

2018-12-26, 09:18 AM

Can’t believe I’ve seen a dozen references to cantrips without guidance appearing once. Almost everything we do on a daily basis IRL falls under a skill check category. I don't know about you, but almost nothing I do on a daily basis carries a skill check. They're all automatic successes. All my work stuff (which includes IT troubleshooting) is do it until it gets completed right. Driving to and from work certain doesn't include any skill checks. Even practicing Kung Fu doesn't include anything that requires a skill check, success or not, it's not critical I can just keep doing it. (Sparring has attack rolls, not checks)

The only time I make checks is when I go rock climbing, and need to make Strength (Athletics) checks to see if I can make it to the top without falling off.
(Spoiler: I fall more than I succeed, because I typically try to climb above my level.)

Edit: I'd definitely want Guidance if I was a Lawyer, for opening & closing arguments. :) Of course, standing up and praying to your Deity of Choice might draw some comments.

AHF

2018-12-26, 09:41 AM

I don't know about you, but almost nothing I do on a daily basis carries a skill check. They're all automatic successes. All my work stuff (which includes IT troubleshooting) is do it until it gets completed right. Driving to and from work certain doesn't include any skill checks. Even practicing Kung Fu doesn't include anything that requires a skill check, success or not, it's not critical I can just keep doing it. (Sparring has attack rolls, not checks)

The only time I make checks is when I go rock climbing, and need to make Strength (Athletics) checks to see if I can make it to the top without falling off.
(Spoiler: I fall more than I succeed, because I typically try to climb above my level.)

Edit: I'd definitely want Guidance if I was a Lawyer, for opening & closing arguments. :) Of course, standing up and praying to your Deity of Choice might draw some comments.

Investigating a problem and technically working out a solution to something out of ordinary would both be skill checks. Now if you are saying that you get paid by the hour and so doing it more quickly or efficiently doesn’t actually benefit you in any way that is a different issue but if you are troubleshooting technical issues that would absolutely benefit. As would all social interactions with enhanced persuasion, insight, perception, etc.

Tanarii

2018-12-26, 11:10 AM

Investigating a problem and technically working out a solution to something out of ordinary would both be skill checks. Now if you are saying that you get paid by the hour and so doing it more quickly or efficiently doesn’t actually benefit you in any way that is a different issue but if you are troubleshooting technical issues that would absolutely benefit. As would all social interactions with enhanced persuasion, insight, perception, etc.
Not really. Skill checks are only necessary when there are consequences for failure besides time. Not "do it more quickly or efficiently". If it CAN be done, it's not necessary to make a check. You just take whatever time it takes to do it.

The only time you should be making checks is when adventurer-level things are on the line. If you have a job like that, you're either in the military or you're not getting paid enough.

MilkmanDanimal

2018-12-26, 11:19 AM

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 11:36 AM

Not trying to rain on any parades, just letting my brain churn on a bunch of different things.

Goodberry.
...I imagine it would be a great diet plan too.

This just reminds my of a cartoon I saw back when Dolly the cloned sheep was first big news. It was a scientist running out of his lab shouting, 'now we have a way to produce children without having sex!' and the tagline being 'another solution looking for a problem.' As your typical middle-aged desk jockey, the idea that a single berry to fulfill my caloric and nutritional needs for a day being a good diet plan doesn't make a lot of sense. Mind you, this is a very 1st world, late-20th/21st century problem (if you told someone from 100+ years ago that the problem of modern society would be too much food, they would definitely hate you), but that's the confines of the scenario in question.

Not really: the flu is a disease, which Cure Wounds wouldn't effect.
You'd be able to close wounds, stop pain, maybe even mend broken bones. You could make huge money working for a sports team, patching up athletes that would otherwise have to leave field due to injury.

Exactly what any of the healing spells covers is a real issue. Plus how much you are willing to change your life. Unless I stopped my current job (Healthcare IT Law, I guess maybe my job would disappear in this scenario) and became an EMT, I'd be very unlikely to run into many people with active gaping wounds. Of course, becoming a magical EMT would depend on whether I wanted to reveal these powers to the rest of the world. The one and only person to suddenly become a magical healer would either end up in a government lab or assassinated by a religious nut, so I think I'd only do this in a world where everyone just woke up with a magic power.

man, if even a tiny percentage of earth's population could cast create water as a full time job, it would save us so much energy compared to desalination
...
more generally, a human needs about 2L or 0.5 gallons of water per day on average, so one wizard can support 360 people. so if 0.28% of everyone on earth were 20th level wizards, we would have unlimited fresh drinkable water that we would never have to worry about filtering or testing - at least until it csme in contact with our storage / distribution infrastructure

I haven't put a lot of thought into it, but if we suddenly started doing this everywhere (in other words, everyone now subsisted on human-magic-created water), that would be ~3.5 billion gallons of fresh water added to the world's mass (and undoubtedly getting to the oceans eventually) every day. Total water on earth is about 3.7*10^20 gallons, so we're only adding ~ 3.5*10-7 % to the total every year, so I suspect we aren't doing much to effect the overall salinity of the ocean, mass/rotation of the planet, etc. But localized issues could be rife with interesting side effects.

Ganymede

2018-12-26, 11:38 AM

Not really. Skill checks are only necessary when there are consequences for failure besides time. Not "do it more quickly or efficiently". If it CAN be done, it's not necessary to make a check. You just take whatever time it takes to do it.

The key thing here is that you can fast forward in D&D time, but not in real life. Having to stay until 6 PM instead of 5 PM is a huge consequence. Me not being able to get home when it is still daylight might as well be being devoured by a gelatinous cube mid lock pick attempt.

Bohandas

2018-12-26, 11:40 AM

Except it's not perfect. You understand the literal meaning, but when the rubber hits the road, you're still going to have misunderstandings.

IIRC there was a Star Trek episoxe about an alien they couldn't understand, despite using their universal translator, because he spoke exclusively in idioms.

Tanarii

2018-12-26, 11:49 AM

Exactly what any of the healing spells covers is a real issue. Plus how much you are willing to change your life. Unless I stopped my current job (Healthcare IT Law, I guess maybe my job would disappear in this scenario) and became an EMT, I'd be very unlikely to run into many people with active gaping wounds. Of course, becoming a magical EMT would depend on whether I wanted to reveal these powers to the rest of the world. The one and only person to suddenly become a magical healer would either end up in a government lab or assassinated by a religious nut, so I think I'd only do this in a world where everyone just woke up with a magic power.Agreed on the first sentence. Healing spells do two things:
1) Restore minor bumbs, scratches, bruises, strains, as well as a certain amount of applied skill, non-exhaustion-level fatigue, and "luck" ... that recovers to full with a good nights sleep anyway.
2) Brings folks back from the brink of death.

In 5e, those two things are one and the same. So you could be an EMT, although it's entirely possible that anyone gone that far you're actually using a non-magical "Revivify" on. Or you could be a boxing/ or martials arts trainer, squirting water on their face during the breaks and hey presto look they're good enough for another round. Or even a NFL doc, who leaves the guys feeling refreshed with a spring in their step after they go down with to a bruising tackle, covering it up as the miracle of Gatorade, It's Got What Players Crave!

Malifice

2018-12-26, 12:27 PM

Disguise self.

With one spell I can (appear) finally over 6 foot tall, always in the latest fashion, forever young, and built like a tank.

Ladies of the world look out.

Jophiel

2018-12-26, 12:29 PM

Healing spells would, IMO, be an awful choice. Sure, you could heal yourself, but, are you really not going to heal other people, given a choice? If you do, congratulations, your life is now a constant media circus, and you'll shortly have your own cult following you around anointing you the messiah.
Plus, most of what they'd want would be outside your ability. You couldn't cure someone's leukemia or restore their paralyzed limbs or help them see again. Cure Wounds is mainly for treating intimidate trauma. I think that (if you wanted to get into medicine) Detect Poison & Disease would have much more subtle and perhaps deeper impact, being able to unerringly sense exactly what disease and where in the body it is.

I think some effects are being overstated -- trying to get contracts signed with Command is just going to get you mired in court cases as people try to get out and refuse to do business with you again (plus any contract of significance often has multiple places to sign; do you just yell at them over and over? Sign here! And here! Initial here! Notarize!". Many magical effects are generating material or energy out of nothing but limited spell slots (I'm assuming we have limited slots?) means you're not going to be providing unlimited hydro power with your three castings of Create Water or running a power plant by popping off a Burning Hands twice a day. Goodberry might be nice to save on grocery bills but I'm guessing most of you don't actually try that hard to begin with. You could buy 50# sacks of frozen chicken breasts and eat that every day but who wants to? The same guy who wants to eat one berry every day for life, I guess. I still think that Comprehend Languages would get you a steady gig in archeology and you won't do any worse at translating ancient idioms than the next guy with a PhD in Ancient Sumerian. The animal-affecting spells would be useful if you had a profession in that field. Even if they don't last long, being able to calm or communicate with an unruly animal will get you far in training it.

GlenSmash!

2018-12-26, 01:36 PM

Healing spells for obvious reasons. Feather Fall since I'm afraid of heights.

IIRC there was a Star Trek episoxe about an alien they couldn't understand, despite using their universal translator, because he spoke exclusively in idioms.

Darmok is an amazing episode.

Bubzors

2018-12-26, 01:57 PM

Interesting answers to all. A little bored so figured I would go through most of the Wizard's 1st level spells and judge them on how useful they could be to me. Gonna base these judgement off of the assumption of you only get one LVL 1 spell and it is only 1/day since it was not specified in the OP

First off I am throwing out all damaging and combat spells. I have no need to harm another person and honestly, if something went down, a gun would be way better than any first level spell. Not wasting my once in a lifetime shot for magic on that.

Alarm - No thanks. I've got modern security systems and wireless communication if I really wanted to guard something
Charm Person - Don't think the down side of this is worth it in D&D land, let alone real life. Pass
Comprehend Languages - This would be pretty cool for either archaeologists or just for traveling. Being able to read a language and understand what people were saying would be super helpful while touring around the world. However, the 1 hour time limit and the fact that you can't communicate back to the people you are listening to unless they know your language, I would put this in the maybe section.
Detect Magic - I'm assuming here that I am the only one with magic in the real world, so no. However if it turns out I was wrong that would make life interesting
Expeditious Retreat - This is something that would have been great in my teens-early 20's. Basically increasing your running speed by 33% would have been great in High school/college sports. Still would be cool now just to blow people out of the water in a sprint. Maybe category
Disguise Self - I really love this spell, but don't see how it would be that useful in real life. It would be great to change your looks slightly to be up to date on fashion, looking slimmer/taller/shorter/whatever or impersonating someone. However, it has too short of a duration to reliably use it over a social function or even a short plane ride. If it lasted longer or if I had more casting of the spell this would be a definite take.
False Life - Pass. Not sure how HP would translate to the real world, but I would not find myself in situations where I would need 1d4+4 Temp HP anyway
Feather Fall - Personally I think this would be great to go thrill seeking by leaping out of planes and off cliffs with no worry. But probably would run into the problem of instantly catching worldwide notice if even one other person saw/recorded it. As another poster said, hello government labs. Military would probably have interest in how to safely jump from a plane with a chute
Find Familiar - This would be my #1 choice I believe. Having an awesome pet that always obeys and you can communicate telepathically? Yes please. Just the idea of looking through a hawks eyes while it is soaring overhead is awesome. Would be great for tricks with your pet as well as he always listens. Plus the fact you can hide it when you want and can change its form? No more worrying about going on vacation and finding a pet sitter.
Floating Disk - We have dollies, jacks, trucks and all other kind things designed for moving large loads. Would not waste my pick on this
Fog Cloud - Kind of cool to generate fog. Not sure how I would use it in real life though...
Grease - Could be fun to prank people. Or more nefariously slap it down somewhere a car would slip and try to profit off of the accident. Either way not for me
Identify - See Detect magic
Illusory Script - This would be great if I was an spy or in the military. I am an engineer. Do not see how I would use this
Jump - This could be really fun. Would be awesome to easily leap over large gaps, or compete in track competitions. However the 1 min duration really puts a damper on this for me. Put in the maybe column
Longstrider - The long distance version of expeditious retreat. Honestly would probably want this over expeditious as I tend to run longer distances and the 1 hour vs 10 mins is nice
Mage Armor - The equivalent of having a chain shirt on? I guess it could help if I were to take up UFC or boxing. Also could be great for body guards or undercover cops. But I am none of those so I will pass
Silent Image - This could have endless abilities to have fun. Entertain almost anyone with a movable hologram, create false walls, make it look like you are at your desk; a bunch of small things can be done. However, being only 10 minutes and of limited practical use knocks it down a peg.
Sleep - I am unsure if you can target yourself with this spell, but if so this would be awesome. I guess just target a space with only you as the creature insiede. Never have to worry about getting to sleep again. For someone like me who has trouble sleeping often, this would be a god send.
Unseen Servant - Another solid choice. Having free magical labor to do the chores while I play video games or socialize with friends is great. However at the end of the day this is just a glorified roomba, and chores aren't that bad anyway.

Don't have time to go through the other spell lists thoroughly, so I will just touch on some of the big ones I've been seeing:

Any cure or healing spell - No thanks. As others have stated, this really just closes open wounds or brings someone back from the brink of death. Doesn't accomplish what most people would want, which is curing disease, repairing limbs, or fixing dead senses. An EMT, or emergency doctor would find it great, but then again, how many calls do they take on average a night? I bet more than one, and after the first your just a regular EMT or doctor. I have no interest in that

Bless - I very rarely find myself needing attack rolls or saves in real life. Most saves I would make come from out of nowhere like slipping on black ice, which I would not have the time to bless myself before. Pass.

Goodberry - Would be great for an avid outdoorsman or a nature guide. Being able to survive without packing any food would be great for backpacking. Or if you were in the military it would be clutch. Feeding a unit of 10 soldiers for free everyday is nothing to scoff at. But as for replacing actual food and saving money. No, just no. People can eat better and save money now, most choose not to do it. This would not really change things. Maybe pile

Purify food and Water - Would be great if one lived in a remote area without access to fresh water or good food. Beyond that not very useful.

Guidance (not first level but wanted to chime in on this) - This falls into the weird part of what in your daily life consists of actual skill rolls. As Tannarrii said, I don't think most of my daily life issues would be considered that. Just auto successes. And with what I do, most of the time it wouldn't matter too much if I "succeeded" earlier or not due to guidance. It still would take time to write it out or perform the actual repair. Not much of a time saver.

Speak with Animals - Now this could be really fun/cool. Would be interesting to get animals insights into things. But probably all we would get is "HUNGRY HUNGRY FEED ME!" Most animals have never struck me as great conversationalists

Overall I would definitely pick Find Familiar. Love me a magical pet

Asmotherion

2018-12-26, 02:46 PM

0) Prestidigitation or Minor illusion to be a bit more magical in my everyday life. Optionaly Mage Hand. i'm Favoring prestidigitation to never run out of a lighter and look cooler when i light my cigaretes.

That said i'd love to have an Eldritch Blast as much as the next person. it grants to you the kamehamehadoken cool factor which basicaly translates to: "Having a kamehamehadoken makes you more cool and badass by 20 percent" :P .

1) Unseen Servant 'cause i'm super buizy and would appreciate an extra pair of (unpaied) hands. i'm also one of those people who think telekinesis is one of the coolest things a person could have.

2) Alter Self: Other than free scuba Diving i can think of many creative ways to use this for social experiments (combined with good acting skills).

ross

2018-12-26, 03:00 PM

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 03:05 PM

What media following? You bandage the guy up, make it look like you're doing the normal stuff, use those motions as the somatic components, telling the patient they're gonna be fine is the vocal components, done. Not like you're gonna be jumping around and chanting in Latin.

The game is relatively silent on what the verbal and somatic components actually are, but if you could pass them off as bandaging up someone and telling them they were going to be fine, then what is the purpose of the Subtle Spell sorcerer ability?

Regardless, what the spellcasting looks like will have to depend on the real world's DM, which is a whole extra layer to this scenario.

ross

2018-12-26, 03:06 PM

The game is relatively silent on what the verbal and somatic components actually are, but if you could pass them off as bandaging up someone and telling them they were going to be fine, then what is the purpose of the Subtle Spell sorcerer ability?

Regardless, what the spellcasting looks like will have to depend on the real world's DM, which is a whole extra layer to this scenario.

The purpose of subtle spell is to remove the components, so you'd be able to heal without doing or saying anything at all. What those components are is up to how the individual wizard designs his or her spells.

ProsecutorGodot

2018-12-26, 03:10 PM

The game is relatively silent on what the verbal and somatic components actually are, but if you could pass them off as bandaging up someone and telling them they were going to be fine, then what is the purpose of the Subtle Spell sorcerer ability?

Regardless, what the spellcasting looks like will have to depend on the real world's DM, which is a whole extra layer to this scenario.

A subtle spell sorcerer could bump into you walking down the street and mend your broken arm.

The person you're healing is going to have a pretty good idea that you did it (assuming the bandage method) and little concrete proof to convince people but why would you have any reason to suspect that guy in a hoodie who rudely bumped into you at the store is a magical healer.

ross

2018-12-26, 03:17 PM

Even better, acquire or develop a metamagic feat allowing touch spells to be cast at range, combine with subtle for undetectable, plausibly deniable healing .

Speaking of, has any d&d book ever explained where feats come from? We know casters can research new spells, but how does a feat come in to being?

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 03:21 PM

The purpose of subtle spell is to remove the components, so you'd be able to heal without doing or saying anything at all. What those components are is up to how the individual wizard designs his or her spells.

A subtle spell sorcerer could bump into you walking down the street and mend your broken arm.

The person you're healing is going to have a pretty good idea that you did it (assuming the bandage method) and little concrete proof to convince people but why would you have any reason to suspect that guy in a hoodie who rudely bumped into you at the store is a magical healer.

I'm still not convinced that this means that that wizards without such sorcerer tricks can then just declare their magic to work disguised as mundane bandaging. That an individual wizard gets to conveniently design how his or her spells work such that they are indistinguishable from mundane activity is something I haven't heard argued beyond a reasonable doubt (I guess the threshold being that a DM might not call the other direction). That's a level of convenience that I would expect more in Mage: The Ascension than in D&D.

ross

2018-12-26, 03:26 PM

I'm still not convinced that this means that that wizards without such sorcerer tricks can then just declare their magic to work disguised as mundane bandaging. That an individual wizard gets to conveniently design how his or her spells work such that they are indistinguishable from mundane activity is something I haven't heard argued beyond a reasonable doubt (I guess the threshold being that a DM might not call the other direction). That's a level of convenience that I would expect more in Mage: The Ascension than in D&D.

Seems fine to me. If there's a book that describes the components for cure wounds I'll go with that, otherwise we're forced to decide what they are, and I see no reason why wizards wouldn't design theirs in ways that serve their interests.

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 03:55 PM

and I see no reason why wizards wouldn't design theirs in ways that serve their interests.

Again, this is assuming that the wizard get to design such things. I don't see language in the game rules that would dictate whether such things are possible. And thus it is the DM's preference. And given that our scenario is a 'in the real world...' scenario, that means the DM of the real world, which as I said has deeper ramifications than our mere choice of spells.

ross

2018-12-26, 03:58 PM

Again, this is assuming that the wizard get to design such things. I don't see language in the game rules that would dictate whether such things are possible. And thus it is the DM's preference. And given that our scenario is a 'in the real world...' scenario, that means the DM of the real world, which as I said has deeper ramifications than our mere choice of spells.

So who gets to determine how imaginary magic spells work in this fictional real world?

Also, if wizards don't design their spells, who does?

Tanarii

2018-12-26, 06:02 PM

And thus it is the DM's preference. And given that our scenario is a 'in the real world...' scenario, that means the DM of the real world, which as I said has deeper ramifications than our mere choice of spells.
Now my head hurts. :smallbiggrin:

Jophiel

2018-12-26, 06:12 PM

Subtle blah blah whatever, if I get shot and someone "bandages my wound" and I'm instantly no longer full of holes and low on blood, I ain't gonna be fooled by "My somantic component is pretending to dress the wound!"

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 07:22 PM

So who gets to determine how imaginary magic spells work in this fictional real world?

That. is. the. point.

Also, if wizards don't design their spells, who does?

The wizard learns the spell, I have never heard someone suggest that the get to decide/design what the verbal and somatic components are. My (subjective) impression has always been that they research it, and discover what combinations of words and hand movements equate to the spell coming about. To use Shatter as a convenient example, the wizard discovers what tone conveniently shatters glass, he doesn't get to choose it based on it being conveniently pleasing or unpleasing to the ear.

Jophiel

2018-12-26, 08:31 PM

Pretty much. That's also why you can do an Arcana check to see what spell another caster is in the middle of using. That wouldn't work if everyone just picked their own unique mixture of sound and movement.

Pharaon

2018-12-26, 10:46 PM

The game is relatively silent on what the verbal and somatic components actually are...

The PHB actually does a decent job of saying what verbal components are:

Most spells require the chanting of mystic words. The words themselves aren’t the source of the spell’s power; rather, the particular combination of sounds, with specific pitch and resonance, sets the threads of magic in motion.

So...

Not like you're gonna be ... chanting in Latin.

...yeah, it kinda is like that.

Willie the Duck

2018-12-26, 11:06 PM

The PHB actually does a decent job of saying what verbal components are:

Yes, I was giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Arkhios

2018-12-28, 11:24 AM

Remote Access.

Would be incredibly useful in traffic where people drive like they got their driver's licenses from a package of cereals.
It seems as if most of the people didn't know what are their rights and responsibilities while driving a(-ny) motor vehicle.

The spell has 120 ft. range and it grants the caster ability to manipulate any electronic device within the limits of manual operation.

Motor vehicles are electronic devices, regardless of their fuel type, and rely fully on manual operation from the driver, especially using the breaks, lighting the headlights and indicator lights, and steering the wheel.

Mork

2018-12-30, 04:28 PM

I think that find familiar would be my choice as well. And besides having a smart pet, I think we should not underestamite it's telepathic powers!. Turn it into a fly and go play poker somewhere while it spies on your opponents cards! Or spy on anything else for that matter, not very many security systems will catch a fly from somewhere.
Moreover you can look through its eyes. Looking through something else its eyes! "Is my blue your blue?" you can finally put the argument to a rest. Help scientific community by explaining how insects see the world. And if your own eyes ever go bad, just have your hawk sit on your familiar at all time.
I want to add that for level 2 spells, alter self would be nice. Look like anyone, possibilities in the adult industry would be quite lucrative, and if you have any gender dysphoria it could help with that. Also breathing underwater seems quite nice. But invisibility. enlarge/reduce, enhance ability, detect thoughts also seem quite nice.

Damon_Tor

2018-12-30, 07:17 PM

One reason I'm not going with Unseen Servant is because with all the extra money you could make with the "Command" spell, you could just hire some help.

Is there a first level spell that can make more money than Command?

JumboWheat01

2018-12-30, 08:19 PM

The problem with Command is its very short duration. Sure, you could tell someone to carry something, and they would, for a moment, then probably drop it on the ground in protest.

Sigreid

2018-12-30, 08:31 PM

Damon_Tor

2018-12-31, 11:40 AM

The problem with Command is its very short duration. Sure, you could tell someone to carry something, and they would, for a moment, then probably drop it on the ground in protest.

There are plenty of situations where you can use a simple one-word command which lasts 6 seconds to make large amounts of cash. I've given a few examples, but to reiterate:

Be a negotiator for a major corporation, build a reputation as a closer. Slide the contract and a pen towards them and say "sign". This is the most obviously lucrative, but puts you in the crosshairs of very powerful people.
Be a poker player. Tell the opponent to "raise" or "fold" depending on your hand. Not as lucrative as big business contracts, but poker players also don't wield the kind of power that business executives do.
Bet big on MMA, get tickets within 60 feet of the ring and yell "grovel" at the guy you bet against, giving your guy six seconds to KO him or put him into submission. This is probably the most subtle: people yell things at MMA fighters from the audience all the time, nobody would be able to pin anything on you in particular. The "Sleep" spell might work well for this one too, though I suspect MMA fighters are likely to have more "hitpoints" than a first-level casting of the spell is likely to be able to reliably effect, and you have no good way of knowing which fighter has more "hitpoints" than the other: you could knock out your own guy by mistake.
Make art and put it up for auction at absurd prices. Go in the audience and command a wealthy person to "bid". I like this one the best. With the corporate deal you should probably make some effort to make the deal seem plausible, if only to get yourself across the table from the other guy in the first place, but art is entirely subjective. You could sell a canvas with three random blotches of paint on it for $2,000,000 and it wouldn't raise many eyebrows: indeed, especially if the person you got to buy your painting is known for having great taste in art, people would start to defend your work critically. And unlike business, you become MORE effective at this the more you do it: if you sell one painting for 2 million (using your command spell) people will see another painting of yours up for auction for 1 million and think "what a deal" whether they like the art or not; you'll make some income even when you aren't actively using the magic. And the next time you use your spell and make something sell for 5 million, nobody will bat an eyelid.

unusualsuspect

2019-01-01, 09:36 PM

I'm not sure how Command is going to be particularly subtle, when Verbal components involve the chanting of mystical words. Speaking the Command is part of the spell, but I don't see any indication that the spoken Command functions as the component itself (it is merely given efficacy by the mystical chanting provided).

It also wouldn't always succeed - in fact, there's a good chance it would be a roughly 50/50 chance. Your reputation as a closer will end up as a "60% of the time, it works every time" sort of situation.

Beyond that, when it does work, the other party is going to know that it worked (because they will feel COMPELLED to perform the action against their will). If you're doing this to the sort of powerful people that can make you a lot of money, you're going to be making powerful enemies. That can't be good.

Personally, I'd go with Find Familiar. The versatility and subtlety of familiars is immense, and you don't have to make powerful enemies to make a comfortable living. With some work and a bit of showmanship, you could probably make a Magic Act using nothing more than your ability to dismiss and recall a familiar from a pocket dimension at will. Work in the movie industry and get a reputation for having the best-trained small animals in the business. If you're really itching to make enemies, you can always use one of the Familiar's more innocuous forms to spy on people, places, and things.

For 2nd level spells, there's a lot of great choices.

Continual Flame (despite its costly components) seems like an immense money-maker. Non-dangerous, non-fire-starting torches that don't consume oxygen, particularly ones that burn literally FOREVER (ain't nobody in the modern world who's dispelling it, after all), would be in extremely high demand.

Alter Self is, of course, extremely potent (but not terribly subtle - hi, Scientific Labs!). Would be great for vacations or if one's job involved a lot of diving or the like. Mine doesn't, but if I could cast that spell, it just might.

I can't emphasize how much Lesser Restoration would be a game-changer. If those fake-ass Faith Healers can make bank, I can't imagine what a spell that can cure ANY DISEASE, BLINDNESS, DEAFNESS, and POISON with a few mumbled words and a touch could do to line your pocketbook, and you wouldn't even have to be a sleezy, manipulative bastard - you're ACTUALLY HEALING THEM!

Find Steed could be just as good as Find Familiar (or better) for the Movie Industry or other entertainment industries - plenty of call for horses that do exactly what they're told, without prompting. It has a permanent duration, which is among the reasons I'd prefer it over Find Vehicle (that's what a taxi or uber is for).

Zone of Truth definitely has potential for personal purposes, but A) I'm not entirely sure I want to know every lie I hear, and B) it again relies on saving throws, which will be failed often enough that I couldn't truly rely on it for other purposes (as a lawyer, for example).

Azgeroth

2019-01-02, 08:03 AM

so for a cantrip, prestigitation.

your a multi michelin star traveling street food merchant, selling the cheapest nastiest foods that taste better than ANYTHING, in small portions, because it has to be eaten really quickly... also, you can legit do magic, all lighting is mood lighting..

for a spell, cure wounds.

you are a legitimate healer, say hello to your new cult following.. you are a living god.

other options, shillelagh, magic stone, mould earth, dancing lights, sacred flame

any stick now hits really, really hard, but only in your hands..

you can pierce armor plating with pebbles.

you can shape granite, with your bear hands, without breaking it..

best glow sticks ever devised..

GOD SHALL JUDGE YOU! totally wasnt me officer, i didnt even touch the man, ask the witnesses, i was 60ft away!

EDIT : OOOOO!! no no, plant growth.. DOUBLE the amount of produce with-in a MILE! turn any soil into arable land... now that there is some world changing power..

Jophiel

2019-01-02, 01:32 PM

There are plenty of situations where you can use a simple one-word command which lasts 6 seconds to make large amounts of cash. I've given a few examples, but to reiterate:
Be a negotiator for a major corporation, build a reputation as a closer. Slide the contract and a pen towards them and say "sign". This is the most obviously lucrative, but puts you in the crosshairs of very powerful people. [...]
Be a poker player. Tell the opponent to "raise" or "fold" depending on your hand. Not as lucrative as big business contracts, but poker players also don't wield the kind of power that business executives do. [...]
Bet big on MMA, get tickets within 60 feet of the ring and yell "grovel" at the guy you bet against, giving your guy six seconds to KO him or put him into submission. [...]
Make art and put it up for auction at absurd prices. Go in the audience and command a wealthy person to "bid". [...]

The first and last one really wouldn't work. Multimillion dollar corporate contracts don't have a single line you just sign; you're signing in a dozen places, having it notarized, having the corporate secretary affix their seal, etc. It ain't legal until all the lines are signed and stamped by all the appropriate people. You could get people to sign simple contracts but you wouldn't have much success with what you're envisioning. Even if you got around that, your company would just wind up in constant litigation as companies tried to get out of contracts that were against their interests and your own employer would probably start to wonder why your contracts always turned into giant headaches.

Likewise with the last one. Bidding is more direct but now the person has to pay which probably involves a wire transfer, etc. They're going to back out and just take the hit rather than soak two million dollars in crap artwork they don't actually want. Number two is most likely to work (although you could be Commanding against your own interests depending on their hand) and number three might work although I wouldn't bet on the fighter being able to hear your Command above the din of the fight*.

*The spell doesn't explicitly say they have to be able to hear/understand you but does say the spell doesn't work if they don't understand your language which implies that the Command must be heard and intelligible. Has this been clarified?

Vorpalchicken

2019-01-02, 07:47 PM

You could actually have a lot of fun with Illusory Script. The component cost might be a hurdle, but you could possibly use your spell to procure what you need.
All in all though Speak with Animals I think is the winner for me.

Potato_Priest

2019-01-02, 07:54 PM

If this scenario included other people then I would have me and my friends learn create water, try to get other people to take create water, and then start a company dedicated to selling water to people in places where water is difficult to find or get. If I had 100 employees, I could make 200 gallons of water or 757 litres per day. That might not sound like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but then if you consider that I could station employees in remote towns and areas to summon their water on demand in exchange for money instead of having to transport heavy, dense water in petrol guzzling trucks all across the country, I might actually make a profit.

But if it was only me, being able to summon three litres of water per day wouldn't really be helpful.

EDIT: and then you did the math for the whole planet's population(but using 5e, I was using 3.5)

The thing to worry about with create water over time (probably a long time, but still) in this scenario would be an environmental crisis of rising sea levels, since you'd be literally making new water rather than filtering the old. To use it responsibly, you'd have to use half your castings on destroying unpurified water.

EDIT : OOOOO!! no no, plant growth.. DOUBLE the amount of produce with-in a MILE! turn any soil into arable land... now that there is some world changing power..

Unfortunately, plant growth is a 3rd level spell, so unusable under the OP's specifications.

Damon_Tor

2019-01-02, 09:08 PM

Personally, I'd go with Find Familiar. The versatility and subtlety of familiars is immense, and you don't have to make powerful enemies to make a comfortable living. With some work and a bit of showmanship, you could probably make a Magic Act using nothing more than your ability to dismiss and recall a familiar from a pocket dimension at will. Work in the movie industry and get a reputation for having the best-trained small animals in the business. If you're really itching to make enemies, you can always use one of the Familiar's more innocuous forms to spy on people, places, and things.

10 gold coins (the value of the rare herbs and incense you need for each casting of Find Familiar) doesn't seem like much in a D&D setting, but it's equivalent to 16 ounces of gold, which is a pretty hefty startup cost. That would be $12,886 based on the value of gold right now. And god forbid your familiar gets randomly killed by a cat: you're out another $12,886. And is there really that much money in animal acts? Nothing you can get your animal to do is something nobody has seen before. And what's the coolest animal you can summon? A hawk or an owl?

Continual Flame (despite its costly components) seems like an immense money-maker. Non-dangerous, non-fire-starting torches that don't consume oxygen, particularly ones that burn literally FOREVER (ain't nobody in the modern world who's dispelling it, after all), would be in extremely high demand.

Costly: I'll say. $64,430 worth of ruby dust.[/QUOTE]

Vorpalchicken

2019-01-03, 10:32 AM

10 gold coins (the value of the rare herbs and incense you need for each casting of Find Familiar) doesn't seem like much in a D&D setting, but it's equivalent to 16 ounces of gold, which is a pretty hefty startup cost. That would be $12,886 based on the value of gold right now. And god forbid your familiar gets randomly killed by a cat: you're out another $12,886. And is there really that much money in animal acts? Nothing you can get your animal to do is something nobody has seen before. And what's the coolest animal you can summon? A hawk or an owl?

Costly: I'll say. $64,430 worth of ruby dust.[/QUOTE]

I thought that way originally too but our modern economy doesn't deflate the value of gold with endless adventurers dumping dragon hoards into the system.
It might be better to convert gold into a d&d commodity and then translate that into modern dollars.
I was going to try chickens, which puts a gold piece at about 750 dollars (not far off really) but chickens used to be more of a luxury so maybe we should go with goats, which would make a gold piece about 100 to 150 dollars. Flour however would make a gold piece about 25 dollars.
One thing that is a lot cheaper these days is spice, which is essentially what we're looking to buy.
I propose 1gp = 100 dollars is a reasonable conversion. So I think Find Familiar would be a little pricey but not quite sell-your-car expensive.

dejarnjc

2019-01-03, 10:57 AM

Find familiar is probably the easiest way to illegally earn you money via gambling or blackmail. Alternatively, you could be a government spook and use the familiar to gather foreign intelligence. I really wouldn't worry about the cost of the spell. It's marginal considering how much you could get out of it.

Speak with animals would let you be one of the greatest veterinarians in the world. Pretty easy to make money off that too. You don't even need to go to school for this one. Just work along side a real veterinarian and diagnose the ailments of rich peoples' pets by asking the pet what's wrong with them. You'd also basically just be one of hundreds of pet psychics so would probably fly under the radar.

Disguise self seems nice but doesn't hold up to physical interaction and also doesn't change your voice. It'd be fun for a little bit but I can't think of much practical use.

Detect poison and disease would be fantastic as well. You could make big bucks in a hospital diagnosing patients' diseases for 10 minutes a day while saving other doctors tons of time. You'd put Gregory House to shame and be the greatest medical diagnostician of all time. This would probably be my choice because #1) It's a moral way to make lots of money, #2) I can help lots of people, #3) It would take a fraction of my day.

Goodberry is a pretty beastly 1st level spell. This one lets you feed 10 people per day which saves a lot of money right away. Hit points are an abstraction and don't carry over to the real world very well but you may also be able to use these goodberry's to heal up to 10 people per day too. Maybe an extra HP would be the difference between life or death for an ER patient. This spell is substantially better than cure wounds or healing word IMO in that it provide sustenance and generally heals more. It only loses out if someone can't consume berries for some reason.

In conclusion: Detect Poison and Disease, a spell I've never prepared in D&D 5e, would be my choice to be able to cast in the real world. Saving lives, making bank, and not having to work hard. What more could I ask for from a 1st level spell?