Malfunctioning Magic Items

[Maelynn]

I'm preparing to send my characters into the old residence of a long-dead Wizard, where they need to retrieve a specific item from the underground vault. Aside from a few useful magic items and consumables, I also want them to find a large chest labelled 'rubbish' (in a language none of them understands, but 2 of them can cast Comprehend Languages if they think to use it) that contains magic items that don't work as they should.

I adjusted a few existing items for this reason (feedback would be welcome), but would like to ask the playground for input and inspiration. What kind of items can you come up with that would be wonky enough to be tossed into a rubbish chest by a powerful wizard?

Bag of Trickiness

this bag shows a large tear that has been crudely but effectively sown. It functions like a Bag of Tricks (tan), with a few exceptions:

- when throwing a fuzzball, roll a d6:

1 - the summoned creature refuses to follow your commands
2 - the summoned creature is chosen from the table of the rust version instead
3 - the summoned creature looks sickly; it has half its hp, but deals 1 extra necrotic damage with its attacks
4 - the fuzzball is a dud and doesn't turn into a creature
5 - the fuzzball explodes, dealing 1d4 fire damage to any creature in a 10-ft radius that fails a DC15 Dex saving throw
6 - the bag works as it should

Rope Robe

this cloak looks like a Robe of Useful Items, but regardless of the icon shown, the patches only create coils of hempen rope.

Collection of Dust

this box contains a set of 5 identical small packets and a scribbled note: "one choking powder found its way into this box of disappearance dust.. can't tell which one". When using a packet, roll a d10 - on a 1 or 2, you got the wrong one. After that, all remaining packets are safe. If you pick a good packet, then next time you roll a d8. And so forth.

Spider Wand

this wand functions like a Wand of Web, with one exception: whenever you cast a spell with this wand, roll 1d10. On a 1, the wand casts Polymorph: Giant Spider on the target instead.

[JeenLeen]

You could throw in some normal cursed items, with the curse simply being a production error.

But new ideas are more fun.

Ring of <cantrip name>
This ring, once attuned, adds an offensive cantrip to the attuned known cantrips. However, when using the cantrip, roll a d6. On a 1-2, the cantrip hits the attuned. On a 3-4, it does nothing, costing you the action. On a 5-6, it works as intended.

[jqavins]

Spider Wand

this wand functions like a Wand of Web, with one exception: whenever you cast a spell with this wand, roll 1d10. On a 1, the wand casts Polymorph: Giant Spider on the target instead.And on a 2 the wand produces the normal webs and a giant spider as if the spider had spun the web. Roll another 50:50 chance; the spider will either attack a random nearby creature, quite possibly the wand user, or it will lie in wait in the web for a victim (as spiders are wont to do).

Moving on...

Defective Dancing Sword:
This item has two flaws. First, it is in need of a better name. Second, and more importantly, when set to attack on its own it is as likely to attack its wielder as the enemy (50:50 chance).

This subject has tremendous humor potential. Just how silly do you want to get? For instance, a ring of invisibility that only makes you invisible to yourself? Or one that makes everyone in range invisible except you? A bag of holding with all the normal stats except that nine times out of ten it will bring forth a random item other than the item desired, and on the other one in ten it works correctly. (I've known some ladies who call this a "purse" or "pocket book".)

[Maelynn]

This subject has tremendous humor potential. Just how silly do you want to get? For instance, a ring of invisibility that only makes you invisible to yourself? Or one that makes everyone in range invisible except you? A bag of holding with all the normal stats except that nine times out of ten it will bring forth a random item other than the item desired, and on the other one in ten it works correctly. (I've known some ladies who call this a "purse" or "pocket book".)

I'm not necessarily looking for silliness, though I do expect some situations to be quite funny. I'd rather not have it spiral down into some sort of skit. But by all means make silly suggestions - I'm sure there are others reading this thread that could get some good ideas this way.

The reason I came up with these items is mostly to have a bit of fun with my players. They're already going to find a nice collection of actually useful items, so these will just be a bit of a prank I'm playing on them. However, just like most pranks I don't want them to be too nasty - just enough to keep them on their toes, to make using the item very situational or a gamble. I'd like to think of it as an alternative to a cursed item, one that still offers plenty of inconvenience but without the forced element to it.

They already have a Bag of Holding, but I really like that idea. A Ring of Invisibility is way too powerful for them (they're all level 5), but if they were higher level then I can certainly see one faltering from time to time. Which would also be a nice reference to Tolkien's work. ^_^

[MrNobody]

(Broken) ring of water walking. You can walk on water, but you magically "splash" in any other material (stone, earth, brick, sand...) and must swim in them as if they were liquid.

(Mistrustful) rod of enemy detection. As the regular item, except that the rod treat any living creature as an enemy. If the bearer concentrates for a full round, the rod reveals him as the nearest enemy.

(Treacherous) necklace of fireballs. Detach one of the beads, the necklace explodes.

Boots of (unchecked) speed. As the regular item, but while wearing them every time you take a move action you must move at twice your base speed in straight line covering the maximum distance possible. If you end adjacent a solid surface and still have some movement left, you crash on the surface, end the action and take 1d6 nonlethal damage.

Elixir of fiery breath. As for the regular item, but this one makes your breath stink as hell. You gain a -10 penalty to Cha based checks involving interaction with other people.

[Temotei]

(Broken) ring of water walking. You can walk on water, but you magically "splash" in any other material (stone, earth, brick, sand...) and must swim in them as if they were liquid.

Free burrow-like ability! It's stronger than most burrow speeds, actually, since it can go through any material, which presumably includes adamantine and other metals in addition to harder surfaces than most burrow speeds allow travel through.

[MrNobody]

Free burrow-like ability! It's stronger than most burrow speeds, actually, since it can go through any material, which presumably includes adamantine and other metals in addition to harder surfaces than most burrow speeds allow travel through.

Malfunctioning item isn't "bad" or "cursed"... just not working as intended to. : )

That said, that ring can be quite useful, but since it offers no choice good luck if you don it on bare earth, maybe while having an heavy armor... and good luck to those that might want to save you.

[Maelynn]

Boots of (unchecked) speed. As the regular item, but while wearing them every time you take a move action you must move at twice your base speed in straight line covering the maximum distance possible. If you end adjacent a solid surface and still have some movement left, you crash on the surface, end the action and take 1d6 nonlethal damage.

Boots of Speed that can't be turned off... haha, I love that one. Considered it sto- ehr, borrowed.

I also liked the potion, but in my chest I'm not going to put consumables as I doubt the wizard would've bothered safekeeping those. I might introduce a random event at some point with a wandering salesman selling potions like that, though... >:)

[Temotei]

Malfunctioning item isn't "bad" or "cursed"... just not working as intended to. : )

That said, that ring can be quite useful, but since it offers no choice good luck if you don it on bare earth, maybe while having an heavy armor... and good luck to those that might want to save you.

Sure, but the chest is labeled "rubbish," so I would expect that item would be in a chest labeled "happy accidents" instead.

[jqavins]

I also liked the potion, but in my chest I'm not going to put consumables as I doubt the wizard would've bothered safekeeping those. I might introduce a random event at some point with a wandering salesman selling potions like that, though... >:)Furthermore, how would the wizard know if a one use item is malfunctioning? Permanent items can be tested, for good or ill it's gone. I, therefore, would expect no one use items in the rubbish bin.

Also, I wanted to give a clarification on the Broken Dancing Sword. If it attacks the user, s/he can immediately use the command word to make it stop, so the downside risk using it is only one attack, which could very well miss.

[MrNobody]

Furthermore, how would the wizard know if a one use item is malfunctioning? Permanent items can be tested, for good or ill it's gone. I, therefore, would expect no one use items in the rubbish bin.

Also, I wanted to give a clarification on the Broken Dancing Sword. If it attacks the user, s/he can immediately use the command word to make it stop, so the downside risk using it is only one attack, which could very well miss.

Given the possibility of creating malfunctioning items i could see a wizard using "identify" on his crafted items to see if the crafting has gone well, even on a consumable item.

Also, new item. +1 Greatsword of regret : it look like a +1 merciful greatsword, even using an identify spell. Still it always does normal lethal damage and when the user tries to activate the "merciful" effect, all it does is shouting "i'm sorry!", "it's not my fault", "HE is the evil one!" "I don't want to do this!" at every swing.