What Was The Most Wildest Lie That You Can Think Of Out Of A Bluff Check

[Bartmanhomer]

My Wildest Lie that I can think of when my character was at Level 1 barbarian I told my party that I killed a Demon Lord named Flubba Hubba With my greatsword in one hit. Of course they didn't believe me and also Bluff checks doesn't work in PC party. What was the most wildest lie that you can think of in a bluff check?

[ColorBlindNinja]

I'd probably go with something like, "I am the reincarnation of your god!" if I wanted to go for maximum outrageous. :smallwink:

A Bard with levels in Bluff and Glibness (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/glibness.htm), it might not be that hard to pull off.

EDIT: Toss in Guidance of the Avatar (http://archive.wizards.com/dnd/article.asp?x=dnd/sb/sb20010504a) and you'll have a +50 to the check before taking skill ranks/CHA into account.

[BWR]

This one is a bit of a pun in Norwegian that works because 'toll' and the number 12 are pronounced the same in our dialect:
We were a low-level group of seven characters that came to a toll station manned by ogres. We didn't want to fight and didn't want to pay so we argued he couldn't get toll (twelve) from us because there were only seven of us.
It worked.

[ColorBlindNinja]

I do remember in one game I was in, my Bard told a monster that the end of days was upon us and to flee for his life. It worked. :smallsmile:

[liquidformat]

This one is a bit of a pun in Norwegian that works because 'toll' and the number 12 are pronounced the same in our dialect:
We were a low-level group of seven characters that came to a toll station manned by ogres. We didn't want to fight and didn't want to pay so we argued he couldn't get toll (twelve) from us because there were only seven of us.
It worked.

I don't know Norwegian but that is awesome, exactly how troll tolls are supposed to be handled!

This one wasn't completely bluffing but myself and another pc pretended to be a lamp and a decorative suit of armor inside some guy's house since he woke up mid way through our 'changing ownership of his goods'. Needless to say we were not very competent at bluffing or disguise but still that was one of my most memorable campaigns if only because our incredible incompetence...

[Telonius]

"Hey, you can trust me! When have I ever lied to you?" - Phido Oswald, professional con man.

Otherwise, the wildest and least believable things I can remember being said in character didn't require a Bluff check. For example:

"This is our pet Stag Beetle."

"Our bar has been personally endorsed by Avacyn [an angel]."

"Then the gentleman with the pink moustache knocked out the horse... no, we're not sure why he did either."

And the most outrageous use of a similar skill: Our group had been investigating a ruined manor and found the deed to the place in a drawer. I ask the DM who owned it. The DM (who either hadn't written it out beforehand or didn't want us to know who it was) said that the signature was too faded to make out. Me: "I write my name on it. Max ranks in forgery..." :smallbiggrin:

[Rijan_Sai]

And the most outrageous use of a similar skill: Our group had been investigating a ruined manor and found the deed to the place in a drawer. I ask the DM who owned it. The DM (who either hadn't written it out beforehand or didn't want us to know who it was) said that the signature was too faded to make out. Me: "I write my name on it. Max ranks in forgery..." :smallbiggrin:

That is awesome!! :smallbiggrin:

Also, do you want haunted mansions? Because that's how you get haunted mansions! :smalltongue:

[ColorBlindNinja]

That is awesome!! :smallbiggrin:

Also, do you want haunted mansions? Because that's how you get haunted mansions! :smalltongue:

For a late Halloween adventure, one of my players in our last D&D game won a mansion in a contest he didn't enter.

And yes, it was haunted.

By an Elder Brain of Thoon that was pretending to haunt the mansion to drive down real estate prices.

And he would have gotten away with it too! If it weren't for those meddling adventurers! :smallbiggrin:

[Geddy2112]

The biggest one I ever pulled off(pf bard, bluff maxed with glibness) was telling somebody I was the supreme leader of their organization(a person they did not know) and they instantly kowtowed to my every demand without question. I even took their pants.

The best lie is convincing somebody that you are them, they are an imposter/clone/bodysnatcher/fetch/doppleganger and take over in their life, Faceoff style. +1 if you convince them they are actually you and they swap places. +2 if you do this with a person of importance or power. +3 if you do it with the BBEG of the campaign. +4 if you do so with a deity. +5 if you do so with your OWN deity. +infinity if you actually do so with the DM OOC, thus gaining control of the campaign while still having a PC in it.

[Malphegor]

Alter Self into a (mildly different) duplicate of a dwarf- "Yes, I am your long lost brother."

Thankfully I wasn't seriously going to carry on that lie, was just a prank to make fun of a overly serious and very drunk dwarf we met. Literally the next session the DM realised that my race shouldn't have allowed that (outsider) so we had a chuckle because the only way it would have worked mechanically is if I was a six foot tall dwarven ancestor, a dwarf shaped Hagrid sized figure made of granite and divine power.

"HRODHRI! I AM YE BROTHER! GIVE ME MATES SOME OF YE BEER!"- says the gigantic statue.

Dwarf: "... yeah, alright."

[DeTess]

Some context for this one:we'd been hired to assassinate the evil necromancer king who had his fort on an island in the middle of his city. The most recognizable member of our group was the druid with his pet rhinoceros. Our first approach had been bungled catastrophically and resulted in half the city getting burned down. So, like any group of adventurers, we'd built our own home in the ruined part of the city, and started digging a tunnel from the basement.

So, about a week into tunnel-construction, a local tax collector arrived at our home. Full rebuilding efforts where underway by then and he was inspecting homes for future taxation. The Druid's Rhino was standing in his own room to the side of the main hallway, so if the inspector saw him we'd probably be made, so my beguiler did the only reasonable thing. She used illusions to make the Rhino look like a unicorn!

Coupled with a pretty good bluff the inspector was immediately convinced the rhino was indeed a unicorn, and the king really wanted one of those for his zoo. He had a big reward posted for a real living unicorn for years, and so of course the inspector needed to report this some we'd both share on the rewards. So I quickly threw out some more illusions and bluffs to try and convince the inspector it really was a magical shapeshifter that just happened to look like a unicorn at the time. Of course, this only made the man more interested, as this creature clearly was a huge rarity that needed to be presented tot he king at once!

I ended up having to break out the suggestion "this is not the rare magical creature you're looking for" to get out of the hole I'd dug for myself.


Later in the same campaign, I used the suggestion "there's rats in the munition store, go smoke them out!" on a rather dumb-looking sailor to blow up a gigantic sky battle-ship.

[noce]

Me and another party member were walking in the docks district.
I was a straight male dwarf, he a straight male halfling, both very low level.

Suddenly, we saw a human pirate (a renowned one) killing a person and throwing him in the sea, then coming in our direction.
He didn't notice us yet because we were behind boxes of goods.
So, before he could notice us, we started kissing and pretending to be a gay couple looking for a bit of privacy.

It came out that he was both homophobe and racist.

[Lord Torath]

Some context for this one:we'd been hired to assassinate the evil necromancer king who had his fort on an island in the middle of his city. The most recognizable member of our group was the druid with his pet rhinoceros. Our first approach had been bungled catastrophically and resulted in half the city getting burned down. So, like any group of adventurers, we'd built our own home in the ruined part of the city, and started digging a tunnel from the basement.

So, about a week into tunnel-construction, a local tax collector arrived at our home. Full rebuilding efforts where underway by then and he was inspecting homes for future taxation. The Druid's Rhino was standing in his own room to the side of the main hallway, so if the inspector saw him we'd probably be made, so my beguiler did the only reasonable thing. She used illusions to make the Rhino look like a unicorn!

Coupled with a pretty good bluff the inspector was immediately convinced the rhino was indeed a unicorn, and the king really wanted one of those for his zoo. He had a big reward posted for a real living unicorn for years, and so of course the inspector needed to report this some we'd both share on the rewards. So I quickly threw out some more illusions and bluffs to try and convince the inspector it really was a magical shapeshifter that just happened to look like a unicorn at the time. Of course, this only made the man more interested, as this creature clearly was a huge rarity that needed to be presented tot he king at once!

I ended up having to break out the suggestion "this is not the rare magical creature you're looking for" to get out of the hole I'd dug for myself.:smallsigh: That wasn't a hole, it was an embossed invitation delivered on a silver platter to bring your entire party onto his island, and into his very presence! :smallamused:

[Segev]

Not D&D, but rather Rifts.

We were in New San Antonio, and the party spy and my character had cornered and captured one of the members of the gang that ran the city. The gang that, we were sure, had been infiltrated by a demonic apocalypse cult. So...we had questions.

Because the spy was a woman and the thug was a typical wasteland gangman, she'd seduced him into the room before my character (a shapeshifting magical psychic with strength sufficient to lift 3/4 of a ton) knocked him out. When he woke up, he was tied to the bed, and we prepared to interrogate him. He wasn't talking.

So my character tried charm magics and compulsions, but the jerk kept rolling really high on his save vs. magic, and we weren't getting anywhere.

Meanwhile, a beat cop who happened to be a psi stalker (for those who don't know Rifts, psi stalkers are super-sensitive to the use of magic and psionics) felt me burning through a small ton of PPE (essentailly mana points), and came to investigate.

When we heard the knock on the door, and the call of "Police" (or whatever the term was; I forget now), my character quickly unbuttoned his button-down shirt, and the spy lowered her decolletage, before we answered the door. The cop looks in, sees a guy tied up on a bed, a half-clothed teen opening the door, and an adult woman in scandalous near-undress hovering over him. He asks us what's going on, and we look embarassed. He mentions the magic he sensed, clearly still suspicious.

With a straight face, except for the blushing he forced, my character jerks his thumb at the tied-up guy and responds, "He paid extra."

The cop thanked us, wished us well, and closed the door, a "TMI" expression clearly plastered on his face as he beat a hasty retreat.


To this day, in my group of friends who play in that game, "He paid extra" can get a round of snickers.

[Quertus]

Personally, I'm a fan of, "no, I'm the real one, you're the doppelganger", or even, "no, I'm the doppelganger, you're the real one". Or, for added fun, when the epic doppelganger (etc) is so good at Bluff (but not at Sense Motive) that it convinces itself of the truth of its lies.

[DeTess]

:smallsigh: That wasn't a hole, it was an embossed invitation delivered on a silver platter to bring your entire party onto his island, and into his very presence! :smallamused:

Unfortunately, we'd already established that the zoo wasn't on the island, and by that point the king had put some real fear into us, so we stuck to the digging a tunnel plan.

(That's my argument anyway. At the time, none of us even considered this as a potential opening we could abuse :smalleek:)

[NerdHut]

I had a player convince some ogres that her spellscale was one of them, despite being medium size, scaly, and purple. She used Glibness, of course, but she augmented the story with a fake debilitating disease called Harlemshake Ichthyosis (inspired by the real-world Harlequin-type Ichthyosis), causing her to be undersized, scaly, and an odd color. She had the whole table cracking up.

[razorback]

Not D&D but a Rolemaster game I was running.
Party was traveling between cities and, in order to pick up some coin on the way picked up a gig as caravan guards. The party sent a couple of guards ahead as scouts who, at some point, came back reporting they had run across a band of orcs coming down the road in the opposite direction.
This was a bit railroady on my part as I was planning on them either A) hiding and running afoul of some trolls, which in turn would send them on a side quest or B) they would hide and tail the orcs, which would have led them back to their camp in time to let the local baron know of their movement. As the orcs outnumbered them 10 to 1 and they were low-level, I didn't anticipate them taking C) meeting the orcs in open combat, even though the rest of the caravan ditched them before combat, fleeing as they stood their ground.
After the opening couple of rounds they realized their mistake and fleed into a nearby forest. The (Bard? Thief?) whoever-the-charismatic-one was decided, since they had a small lead, to jump into a tree and started shaking the leaves. The mage, taking his cue from the tree shaker, did some kind of pyrotechnics and noise, as the tree shaker yelled out "I am Millivanillanous, the Black Dragon of your doom!".
So, if your unfamilair with the Rolemaster system, anything 5 and below was open-ended bad while everything 95 and was open-ended good. And, on most of the critical charts, 66 is a nasty-bugger.
Dice come out. 100. Roll again. 96. Roll again. 96. Roll again. 66.
I decide that, not only do the orcs buy this but, with a roll of the dice, a bit over a third of them faint while the leader collapses with a massive coronary. The rest run for their lives, never to be seen again.
It was a great moment. Wasn't sure who was more surprised. Me, the orcs or the group.

[Segev]

Not one I was in, but in a Mekton Zeta game, the setting had space kingdoms, and the party were trying to kidnap the Queen while the palace was under attack by a third party. Alarms were going off everywhere, and they'd made it to the palace proper, and were trying to figure out how to get to the Queen without having to face too many high-alert guards, when the Queen herself stumbled upon them.

"Your majesty!" cried one of the players, rolling very well on his social skill, "We're here to extract you! Come with us!"

She bought it, and proceeded to order guards out of the way or to help in the evac, and took them to her personal space yacht. They were flying out of the palace and on their way to space before she ever started questioning, and by then, she was already kidnapped.

[SirAshley]

Perhaps not the most outrageous bluff, but it's one of the ones I find amusing and remember fondly.

Context: I was running a campaign for some friends and I using Pathfinder. The characters are roughly level 2, and I had tried to give a bit of variance to their loot from an encounter. Rather than just handing out GP, I decided to intersperse some minor precious stones into the loot. One of these stones was a Geode, worth maybe a handful of gold, at best. Now, I don't subscribe to the philosophy that a natural 20 is an automatic success for skill checks, but I also Rule 0 things from time to time just to keep it interesting.

Elven Rogue, The Party Face: I want to try to bluff this merchant into buying these stones for more than they're worth.
DM: Alright, roll it.
Rogue: -Proceeds to roll a natural 20.-
DM: The merchant buys most of your gems at a few gold more than what they're worth, but he pauses when he sees the geode, particularly interested in this stone. If you can sell it to him well enough, I'll let you trade it for something out of his wares.
Rogue: "Good sir! While many would see this stone as a humble geode, I must tell you a most tragic tale. This is the sacred jewel of Thral`keris, an ancient elven lord sadly departed for all time. I have been exiled from my homeland for stealing this relic, so that its holy powers could remove a curse from my beloved sister. Alas, I was too late, and my sister has since parted this world and now sits with the gods. This geode is now a stark reminder of my failure, but for you, its sale could make you a rich man for the rest of your life!"

The rest of the group and I are cackling, and that is how our Rogue ended up with a +1 Studded Leather Armor of Shadow, and everyone had a good laugh.

[thorr-kan]

This smart-alec reply keeps running through my head. It's now a full blown scene, so maybe writing it down and posting it will finally exorcise it from my brain."Luke, I am your father."

A lie told by The Dragon to a PC at the climax of the second campaign in George Lucas's homebrew game lead to a *third* campaign where two PC decided they were related, The Dragon and BBEG were both convinced the lie was *true*, and The Dragon was convinced to help PCs overthrow and slay the BBEG. Fireworks for everybody.

This lead to a fanfic prequel trilogy wherein The Dragon actually *was* the father of the PC, as he claimed. While widely regarded as extremely derivative of the original three campaign journals, these prequels were successful enough that Disney took notice. They made the prequels' author an Offer He Couldn't Refuse for the rights.

Disney now has all rights to the campaign world. Signs are that they will treat this franchise as another of their licenses to print money.

[Crake]

One of my players once convinced the level 20 barbarian chieftain of the amazons that he (she, using change shape at the time) was their god. Maxed sense motive, plus the outrageous lie bonus to sense motive, vs high cha and glibness actually made it come down to the dice. It helped a lot that their god (along with most other gods) were recently deceased (meaning no smite from the sky to call him out), though the news hadn't hit the material plane yet (and wouldn't get there for another 1200 years or so). By the end though, it was a self fulfilling prophecy, as that character eventually became a demon lord, and became the amazonian's patron, funnily enough, using their very souls to help him ascend.