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Zaharra
2019-01-20, 09:18 AM
I really like playing roleplaying games, I've had good and bad experiences but overall I'm pretty happy with most GMs I've played with and my own characters. I have a soft voice (I get mistaken for a child on the phone by strangers), and even when I talk as loudly as I can without shouting people with loud voices can still talk over me easily, and trying to join in often means straining (and sometimes losing) my voice.

When I play in person games, I've always worked out with everyone that I'll raise my hand when I'd like to speak and wait for other people to finish speaking to speak, almost everyone has been pretty respectful when I've requested that.

Now I'm playing in an online game where we mostly play over discord but we also do some text based Rping and when it comes to the text part I'm fine, but when we talk the DM has to step in every time to give me a turn to speak.

Do loud voice people feel frustrated too? Do they understand that it's impossible to speak as loud as them without screaming? Is there a better way to take turns speaking without needing the person running the game to step in?

daemonaetea
2019-01-20, 11:14 AM
I'd actually like to chime in here and say I'd really love this advice too, albeit for the opposite reason. When DMing I generally don't have a good solution to getting the quieter voices at the table into the discussions, and it really bothers me. When things are slower or calmer I do an ok job at making sure the quiet people aren't lost - I'll generally specifically turn to them and ask for their input, to make sure everyone pays attention to them - but as soon as things get tense and move quickly, I find it hard to slow down and remember the ones who are getting lost in the shuffle. So if other players or DMs have good advice on this topic I would really like to hear it.

PhoenixPhyre
2019-01-20, 11:34 AM
First piece of advice--bring this up to the group OOC. Don't accuse or complain, simply state that you're not having as much fun as you wish because you're finding it hard to be heard and ask for their cooperation. If you're friends, that should go a long way. Also, don't feel bad if the DM's stepping in to help you be heard--that's part of their job as a mediator.

Second, from the DM's side--I play almost entirely with teenagers, many of whom...don't have exactly well developed social skills. When they get excited, they get loud. I've found that the absolute best thing to do is to freeze game time and get everyone's input before resolving anything. Just go around the table asking "what are you going to you say/do in this situation". Once everyone has had input (and possibly modified what they'll do based on what others say), then resolve the actions in whatever order seems best. Don't let the loud people get a jump on things by declaring actions that make the rest of the group's input moot or expecting instant resolution (and thus the ability to take another "turn"). Yes, this involves ignoring people or asking them to be quiet if they're talking out of turn. I generally raise one hand to the person who is being disruptive as a "not now--your turn will come" signal. Call it "social initiative order"

Pauly
2019-01-20, 09:19 PM
One thing I’ve seen some groups use is a token of some sort that if you’re holding no one else is allowed to speak. Something like a plushy toy or a juggling ball.

You put it in the center of the table, and put it back when you’ve finished having your say. It’s the DM’s job to enforce that other players are quiet and that people don’t hold onto the token too long (30 seconds is usually the upper limit, but some groups up it to a minute) or overuse the token. One rule I’ve seen used is that you can’t use the token again until 2 other players have used it, to prevent 2 players shutting down a game while they argue.

Sometimes the DM will throw the token to a player who’s being quiet or talked over to give them face time.

MarkVIIIMarc
2019-01-20, 09:43 PM
As a player, I'm loud sometimes, I raise my hand others, maybe when I feel like I've been too loud or everyone is clamoring for the DM's attention.

As DM in person I kinda like the hand raising. I don't mind a kick in the shin, a D4 tossed at me or whatever to get my attention either.

Some folks are fast talkers, some slow, some quiet.

When I'm a good player I don't step on the toes of others. When I'm a good DM I notice who wants my attention.

Just by human nature I'm not omnipotent or even 100% self aware so if a player ever feels like I'm ignoring them I hope they can do something to bring it to my attention.

Vhaidara
2019-01-20, 10:28 PM
One trick that I've used just as a means of making sure everyone gets their chance to speak is actually rolling into initiative for conversations. If you have a tracker like, for example, roll20 does, the DM can use that and keep track of who has had a turn to speak. Is it flawless? No, but it usually at least makes sure everyone has a chance to speak their piece.

johnbragg
2019-01-21, 12:00 AM
I'd actually like to chime in here and say I'd really love this advice too, albeit for the opposite reason. When DMing I generally don't have a good solution to getting the quieter voices at the table into the discussions, and it really bothers me. When things are slower or calmer I do an ok job at making sure the quiet people aren't lost - I'll generally specifically turn to them and ask for their input, to make sure everyone pays attention to them - but as soon as things get tense and move quickly, I find it hard to slow down and remember the ones who are getting lost in the shuffle. So if other players or DMs have good advice on this topic I would really like to hear it.

In my family game, there is a lot of talking over each other, and one of my kids hates being interrupted (which doesn't always stop him from interrupting others...) So I tend to go around the table and enforce turns, almost like a classroom. In a discord or group chat situation, I might do the same by initiative (even off initiative order, keep the turn-taking the same until the next set of initiative rolls?)

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-21, 12:49 AM
This isn't as obvious as it seems. I have a loud voice - I can't not have a loud voice. Not only that, on top I also have somewhat reduced hearing (from military service), so I'm not automatically aware of the volume of my voice. And while it seems obvious that I should be considerate towards less loud people - it's simply not a question of just chosing to be so. I can't not be loud. I cannot whisper, simply because you cannot speak up.

hymer
2019-01-21, 04:33 AM
I agree with the 'talk to them', though it will no doubt be difficult for them to change their behaviour. Letting them know, however, is essential in beginning to change the culture of conversation-by-volume. Getting the GM to help, and implement some of the sane advice about speaking in turn, is the way forwards.

In the mean time, non-voice cues may well be in order. Raising your hand has been mentioned - or you can go to waving your arms in the air, perhaps even standing up. In that more assertive vein, there's making a shrill whistle if you have the knack. Cutlery-on-glass is classic. Slamming a large book shut can work, though it seems angry. Rapping your knuckles (or some substitute, but be careful it doesn't scratch the table) on the table may work. Clapping your hands three times may recall their days of kindergarten.

Edit: You can also ally yourself with the loudest voice in the room. Sit next to them, and arrange that you can tug their sleeve to have them call for silence, so you can speak.

Zaharra
2019-01-21, 05:43 AM
This isn't as obvious as it seems. I have a loud voice - I can't not have a loud voice. Not only that, on top I also have somewhat reduced hearing (from military service), so I'm not automatically aware of the volume of my voice. And while it seems obvious that I should be considerate towards less loud people - it's simply not a question of just chosing to be so. I can't not be loud. I cannot whisper, simply because you cannot speak up.

It's not a matter of me not "speaking up", I can't shout till I'm unable to work the next day to play a game. Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate, just realize how much time and space you take for yourself and consider if you're allowing a fair share to others.

Mordaedil
2019-01-21, 06:08 AM
As somebody who is pretty soft-spoken as a guy, I can identify with this quite a bit. I have trouble speaking up at meetings at work and stuff and for games, the only blessing I have is that I have friends that respect me enough to apologize and offer me to speak my piece first. And sometimes I'll say sorry too and allow them to speak theirs first, trying to keep mine at mind until they have said theirs.

I don't really have much to offer besides wait for an opening and start speaking or maybe raise your hand when you need to speak, despite how awkward that is.

As a guy though, I still talk louder than the girls in our group, so I'll always be on the listening front to make sure I don't step on proverbial toes when it comes to that. And yes, sometimes it just becomes a situations where everybody says "sorry" at eachother for five minutes.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-21, 06:17 AM
It's not a matter of me not "speaking up", I can't shout till I'm unable to work the next day to play a game. Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate, just realize how much time and space you take for yourself and consider if you're allowing a fair share to others.

Being a quiet person also doesn't mean you can't be considerate.

What you're doing is projection. You are telling me how I am, and what I do - how much 'space and time' I 'take'. You happen to be wrong. There isn't a quieter version of myself I can chose to be instead. I don't have a softer voice I can speak in. I'm not being loud. I'm being me. You're asking me to not be me.

You're asking me to tiptoe around you, because 'you have a soft voice'. And you're showing zero consideration the other way. You frankly want everyone to behave in a manner that suits you. And I'm saying: That's not so simple.

The solution you yourself proposed - raising a hand - is fine. What @hymer suggested is also a good idea.

But if you're on Discord, I personally think you're screwed. Unless you simply adjust your mic level.

johnbragg
2019-01-21, 07:24 AM
Being a quiet person also doesn't mean you can't be considerate.

What you're doing is projection. You are telling me how I am, and what I do - how much 'space and time' I 'take'. You happen to be wrong.

Well, we're going by what you said, your self-description.


There isn't a quieter version of myself I can chose to be instead. I don't have a softer voice I can speak in. I'm not being loud. I'm being me. You're asking me to not be me.

You're asking me to tiptoe around you, because 'you have a soft voice'. And you're showing zero consideration the other way. You frankly want everyone to behave in a manner that suits you. And I'm saying: That's not so simple.

The solution you yourself proposed - raising a hand - is fine. What @hymer suggested is also a good idea.

But if you're on Discord, I personally think you're screwed. Unless you simply adjust your mic level.

I think a GM can enforce turn-taking on Discord, personally.

PhoenixPhyre
2019-01-21, 08:08 AM
I teach teenagers. Some of whom are intrinsically LOUD people. But there's a huge difference between being physically loud and talking over people/refusing to let others get a word in edge-wise. The first is a normal trait and no big deal. The second is rude and inconsiderate. Even loud people can pay attention to others. It's not like they're loud when they're not talking, after all. Just flat out leave gaps.

The most effective loud people I've seen are the ones who pay attention and will ask things like "we haven't heard from X recently--what do you think?" Or who will ask that player a direct question (which encourages others to be quiet).

Taking turns when talking is something that should be learned in middle school. For adults to talk over each other is unsupportable at any volume.

Yes, quiet people (either those whose voices are naturally soft or those who don't normally speak a lot) have to be a bit more assertive to be heard, especially in unmoderated conversations. But a little consideration goes a long way. And RPGs (if there's a DM) are anything but an unmoderated conversation.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-21, 08:45 AM
Well, we're going by what you said, your self-description.

None of this is about me. But I think you should try to re-read it.


I think a GM can enforce turn-taking on Discord, personally.

Dunno. Never used Discord. I'm just talking VOIP in general.

MoiMagnus
2019-01-21, 09:11 AM
I fear that you're not alone with this problem. A lot of my female friends playing RPG have it. Some of my male friend too (approximately the same number of each, so far less in proportion).

While I'm not able to explain the details, this is far more than just about about "talking louder". You probably had those teachers that nobody cared about and sounded stupid when speaking loud to ask for silence, and those teachers that managed to have perfect silence while never talking loud. A kind of "vocal charisma".

I do some improvisation theater, and I can safely says that when I try to play an character with authority, people listen to me far more than they listen to "normal me". I have no idea what I change in my voice, but something change.

Lastly, there is the "bonding" part. I've played RPG with twins, and you really feel like they have a private discussion channel (if multiple people talk at the same time, they will only hear their twin, and other things like that). Good friends are the same in less extreme.

Neknoh
2019-01-21, 10:57 AM
Other than upping your microphone, typing in chat and solving it on a social level ooc, you could also spend time doing voice exercises prior to games.

Warmups and volume exercises can help you anunciate better and gain a little bit of volume. I am not saying "start shouting" or "change the way you speak and act entirely", rather, use theatre techniques for voice projection and song-warmups to enhance your voice. It will increase your volume whilst decreasing your strain, and it will also make your words a lot clearer and easier to pick up on which will "fake" an even louder volume.

As for DM's:

Do not force quiet people to speak up, but the moment you hear them starting to say something and then being interrupted or backing down, go "no, wait, what were you saying?" Or "yeah? Go ahead" it encourages them to speak their mind and shows them you're on their side.

KillianHawkeye
2019-01-22, 02:44 PM
Unless you simply adjust your mic level.

This is what I was going to say. The simple solution is for OP to increase the volume of his mic input to compensate for his quiet voice.

PhoenixPhyre
2019-01-22, 02:52 PM
This is what I was going to say. The simple solution is for OP to increase the volume of his mic input to compensate for his quiet voice.

That's not a game you can win, though. I've been around enough groups of really loud people to know that it just becomes an arms (voice) race.

One of my D&D groups that I supervise (in a school club environment) has a couple really really loud and overbearing people. If others try to out-loud them, they just ramp up the volume. Or if they get excited. Or...

Rhedyn
2019-01-22, 03:46 PM
I really like playing roleplaying games, I've had good and bad experiences but overall I'm pretty happy with most GMs I've played with and my own characters. I have a soft voice (I get mistaken for a child on the phone by strangers), and even when I talk as loudly as I can without shouting people with loud voices can still talk over me easily, and trying to join in often means straining (and sometimes losing) my voice.

When I play in person games, I've always worked out with everyone that I'll raise my hand when I'd like to speak and wait for other people to finish speaking to speak, almost everyone has been pretty respectful when I've requested that.

Now I'm playing in an online game where we mostly play over discord but we also do some text based Rping and when it comes to the text part I'm fine, but when we talk the DM has to step in every time to give me a turn to speak.

Do loud voice people feel frustrated too? Do they understand that it's impossible to speak as loud as them without screaming? Is there a better way to take turns speaking without needing the person running the game to step in? I hear the soft spoken person just fine and I get annoyed if they stop talking just because they feel interrupted. As a GM, I hear you. As a player, I can get the GM to hear you.

Maclay
2019-01-22, 05:36 PM
It might be worth seeing if the group would be okay with letting you use some sort of chime or bell to indicate when you'd like the opportunity to speak. Nothing abrasive or interrupty, possibly along the lines of the sorts of tone you might have on your phone for text alerts. It could even be a sound that fits the setting like a wolf-howl or the like

Tvtyrant
2019-01-22, 07:45 PM
This seems more of a personality thing then anything else. You could whisper and be overheard if people wanted to hear you, it is the other players deciding to talk over you that is the problem. Talk to everyone about having a talking turn order so everyone gets a chance to speak, if over mics you could see about having something like a chess clock with a pass option for it.

geppetto
2019-01-22, 09:55 PM
I really like playing roleplaying games, I've had good and bad experiences but overall I'm pretty happy with most GMs I've played with and my own characters. I have a soft voice (I get mistaken for a child on the phone by strangers), and even when I talk as loudly as I can without shouting people with loud voices can still talk over me easily, and trying to join in often means straining (and sometimes losing) my voice.

When I play in person games, I've always worked out with everyone that I'll raise my hand when I'd like to speak and wait for other people to finish speaking to speak, almost everyone has been pretty respectful when I've requested that.

Now I'm playing in an online game where we mostly play over discord but we also do some text based Rping and when it comes to the text part I'm fine, but when we talk the DM has to step in every time to give me a turn to speak.

Do loud voice people feel frustrated too? Do they understand that it's impossible to speak as loud as them without screaming? Is there a better way to take turns speaking without needing the person running the game to step in?

Learn how to speak from the diaphragm. You'll find your voice much louder and clearer without any strain on the throat.

Eszett
2019-01-22, 11:03 PM
Discord has a feature that can be made available to certain roles that allows you to bind a Priority Push-to-Talk key. This lowers the volume of others by a significant amount while it's pressed.

Under Role settings, it's titled Priority Speaker and is at the very bottom.

Malphegor
2019-01-23, 09:53 AM
oh, god, being the quiet person is awful.

So hey, I cast my fireball... if... anyone cares. It deals 20 damage, reflex for half...

Hours later, they're still shouting at each other about some music thing I don't understand...

I've found acting bombastically in-character snaps them out of it, which is why my next D&D character is going to be a dwarf based on Brian Blessed despite my original plans to play a relatively meek cancer-causing disney Princess knockoff who speaks all sweetly and quietly.

Eldan
2019-01-23, 10:17 AM
oh, god, being the quiet person is awful.

So hey, I cast my fireball... if... anyone cares. It deals 20 damage, reflex for half...

Hours later, they're still shouting at each other about some music thing I don't understand...

I've found acting bombastically in-character snaps them out of it, which is why my next D&D character is going to be a dwarf based on Brian Blessed despite my original plans to play a relatively meek cancer-causing disney Princess knockoff who speaks all sweetly and quietly.

I love playing characters like that. My last one was a culturally viking-inspired pirate/bear warrior barbarian. He'd mostly walk around shirtless and tell the most over the top tales about his previous adventures. Like the time he had to jump into the sea and strangle a sperm whale to feed his rowers when they were adrift for too long. Or that time he quieted a storm by singing shanties so loudly that it countered the wind. Or that time he came back from the dead by secuding and then marrying a valkyrie (they had an amicable relationship in the afterlife and split on friendly terms). No one ever took him seriously, until the first really tough fight about three sessions in, when he turned into a grizzly bear the size of an elephant. "Oh yeah, I can do that too, but it's not all that remarkable, is it? Now let me tell you about something really interesting I did once..."

Draconi Redfir
2019-01-23, 11:14 AM
i'm actually a lot like you but on the other side of the field. I'm a pretty loud / normal speaker, but the problem is I've somehow been mentally conditioned to shut up the MOMENT i hear someone else talking. Even if i started first, i'll open my mouth to say "my character ru-" and then someone else starts going off on what their character does, and i instantly stop, waiting for the next opening where noone is quiet. At witch point i get cut off again. and again... and again... and again...

and by the time i actually get to finish my sentence, the thing i wanted to do is no longer relevant :smallannoyed:

thinking i outta make a sign or something to hold up idk.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-23, 11:16 AM
oh, god, being the quiet person is awful.

So hey, I cast my fireball... if... anyone cares. It deals 20 damage, reflex for half...

Hours later, they're still shouting at each other about some music thing I don't understand...

I've found acting bombastically in-character snaps them out of it, which is why my next D&D character is going to be a dwarf based on Brian Blessed despite my original plans to play a relatively meek cancer-causing disney Princess knockoff who speaks all sweetly and quietly.

Sounds awful - people having fun like that. Terrible. Not sure why you even hang around people like that.

Sarcasm aside, I hope it's abundantly clear that there's more than one point of view, and that your's isn't automatically the right one. Sure, hours later sounds bad, if that's not an exaggeration it may be a bit much. But honestly, I've been there: The rest of the group isn't in the mood to play. Even if that's the case, so what? Must they play regardless - because that's what you want?

Consideration goes both ways. You don't get to automatically be the ... 'victim' ... just because you're quiet and they're not.

NorthernPhoenix
2019-01-23, 11:24 AM
Sounds awful - people having fun like that. Terrible. Not sure why you even hang around people like that.

Sarcasm aside, I hope it's abundantly clear that there's more than one point of view, and that your's isn't automatically the right one. Sure, hours later sounds bad, if that's not an exaggeration it may be a bit much. But honestly, I've been there: The rest of the group isn't in the mood to play. Even if that's the case, so what? Must they play regardless - because that's what you want?

Consideration goes both ways. You don't get to automatically be the ... 'victim' ... just because you're quiet and they're not.

As others have mentioned, that's a silly argument, since no one is "loud" when they're not talking. It's not about "volume", but whether or not you choose to use it to drown out other people.

Durandu Ran
2019-01-23, 04:38 PM
Sounds awful - people having fun like that. Terrible. Not sure why you even hang around people like that.

Sarcasm aside, I hope it's abundantly clear that there's more than one point of view, and that your's isn't automatically the right one. Sure, hours later sounds bad, if that's not an exaggeration it may be a bit much. But honestly, I've been there: The rest of the group isn't in the mood to play. Even if that's the case, so what? Must they play regardless - because that's what you want?

Consideration goes both ways. You don't get to automatically be the ... 'victim' ... just because you're quiet and they're not.

Thank you for tirelessly warning us about the scourge of quiet shy people wanting to participate in a hobby, and how accommodating their concerns is bad.

Rynjin
2019-01-23, 05:18 PM
Ignoring...whatever the **** Keen is trying to turn this thread into, I feel like this is a common issue in online games for various reasons. It helps if there's someone at the table who can be your...enabler? Advocate? Whatever. I basically have to do this for a friend when I'm GMing or playing in a game with him; he has some big anxiety issues and we sometimes play with two people who talk loud and goof around and don't really hear when he starts to talk, causing him to just shut down and refuse to participate. Having someone at the table, preferably the DM, who can tell when you're trying to speak helps.

What helps more though is if you can get everyone to moderate themselves similarly. It's not that hard, really.

Over Discord especially, make use of the text chat function! You can @ people in the game group and it should ping them when you're trying to speak. Just be like "Hey @everyone I'm trying to say something" or whatever. Turning your mic output up and everyone else DOWN is a good way to at least help yourself hear your own thoughts over them yelling.

So, TL;DR:

1.) Talk to your group calmly about your problems.
2.) Utilize Discord functions and the unique advantages of that over in-person games.

icefractal
2019-01-23, 10:53 PM
Based on observations for a number of years, I think that tolerance to multiple conversations at once varies significantly from person to person.

A quick test - imagine you are in a car. The radio is on a news show, the GPS is giving spoken directions, and the driver is talking to you. How do you feel about that?
A) Sure, why would that be a problem?
B) I guess that's ok if I'm not expected to comprehend much of what's being said.
C) Oh god, why?!

If it's A, then congrats on your sound filtering abilities, but don't assume everyone is equally comfortable with multiple conversations running at once.

That's why this:
I hear the soft spoken person just fine and I get annoyed if they stop talking just because they feel interrupted. As a GM, I hear you. As a player, I can get the GM to hear you.Is a bit like suggesting I should scrape my fingernails on a chalkboard to get peoples' attention. Multiple people trying to talk over each-other is a fundamentally unpleasant thing to a lot of people. Why would I want to contribute to that?

Knaight
2019-01-24, 12:01 AM
The tech side has a lot of solutions for this, and while they're not up to the reading cues in person level they should be plenty. I'm thinking the easy one is to designate the secondary text channel to this. Make a quick signal for people who want to speak up but can't find an entrance (e.g. "!!!"), get people used to it, and you're covered.

BreaktheStatue
2019-01-24, 12:35 AM
Do loud voice people feel frustrated too? Do they understand that it's impossible to speak as loud as them without screaming? Is there a better way to take turns speaking without needing the person running the game to step in?

Yes. I did debate in high school and I was an NCO in the Army, so I know how to project my voice. But as others have said, it's not as much about voice volume as it is about people not waiting to take their turn. I think that's why bars tend to be so loud (music aside): drunk people who might otherwise speak at a reasonable volume get excited and impatient and start talking over each other, and pretty soon it's a shouting competition.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 12:48 AM
whatever the **** Keen is trying to turn this thread into

Wow - such vitriol.

Please give me an argument for why consideration shouldn't go both ways.

BreaktheStatue
2019-01-24, 01:09 AM
Wow - such vitriol.

Please give me an argument for why consideration shouldn't go both ways.

People ought to be considerate of one another, but I think the main difference here is that a quiet person isn't going to silence or drown-out a loud person, while a loud person will silence a quiet person unless they respect certain social norms (like turn-taking).

maruahm
2019-01-24, 01:20 AM
I've had a few shy players in my IRL DMing. I make an extra effort to get them to speak, and have had to shush some players who kind of naturally talk over others. Fortunately, we're all reasonable adults, so nobody takes my shushing personally.

Or maybe they do and I should watch out or I'll get stabbed in my sleep. Never really trusted monk players, TBH.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 02:18 AM
People ought to be considerate of one another, but I think the main difference here is that a quiet person isn't going to silence or drown-out a loud person, while a loud person will silence a quiet person unless they respect certain social norms (like turn-taking).

Obviously the quiet person isn't going to drown-out the loud person.

But is that the only option?

Please keep in mind that I'm not advocating being inconsiderate towards the quiet person. But I'm being pretty adamant that it goes both ways. The world does not revolve around quiet people and their right to be heard, and everyone else shouldn't tip-toe around the fact that one person cannot speak up and make himself (m/f) heard.

I'm loud. For the simple reason that my voice is like that, and I have to have 30% reduced hearing. I very much try to pay attention, and keep everyone included, and give space for others. But I'm still loud. I cannot be not-loud. It's not an option that exists.

So we can do one of two things: Either we can find a solution that accommodates both - or we stay in our respective trenches.

And the reason I'm so adamant is because of the implied moral aspect: That I'm doing it on purpose. That because I'm loud, I'm actually a bad person, who has decided to just roll over the quiet, shy person because that's just the way I am, deep rooted asshat through and through.

icefractal
2019-01-24, 02:37 AM
So we can do one of two things: Either we can find a solution that accommodates both - or we stay in our respective trenches.The solution is pausing. Just don't talk non-stop. Give people a chance to enter the conversation. And likewise, wait for a pause before jumping in.

Now maybe you already do that. In which case fine - what makes you think this thread is about you specifically? Are you a member of the OP's group?

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 02:44 AM
The solution is pausing. Just don't talk non-stop. Give people a chance to enter the conversation. And likewise, wait for a pause before jumping in.

See? Implied moral aspect.

Because I happen to be the loud guy, everyone gets to pass judgement without any sort of evidence, without asking first: I'm automatically the villain.

And no one stops for even an instant to wonder if maybe the other guy could also be at fault.

And that's the point. If you're unwilling to look at the whole picture (you in the plural, not Icefractal), and even get angry when someone tries to, it's impossible to have a conversation.


Now maybe you already do that. In which case fine - what makes you think this thread is about you specifically? Are you a member of the OP's group?

Yes, I already do that. I think I said as much above. I do not think this is about me specifically, at all. No one on this forum has any idea who I am, and no, I'm not part of the OP's group. No, everything I say is a general statement. Not pointed at anyone in particular. I'm just playing devil's advocate, because I happen to be 'that guy'. I'm loud, I know I am. But I'm not inconsiderate - just unwilling to be painted black because I'm not quiet.

Florian
2019-01-24, 03:47 AM
@Kaptin Keen:

The problem with treating everyone fair and equal is that you have to counteract an imbalance first, meaning you can´t treat anyone fair and equal as long as that imbalance exists.

Let´s say you have one very shy and one very outgoing player at the table und you want to give both of them an equal share of spotlight. That means you will have to shut down the outspoken player to empower the shy player, which might seem unfair at first, unless you are aware of what the imbalance here is and means.

Regarding the topic we're talking about, that means that the burden is on the loud(er) players to make the soft(er) players heard and being able to participate. If they don't manage that, the GM has to step in and deal with that imbalance.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 05:22 AM
The problem with treating everyone fair and equal is that you have to counteract an imbalance first, meaning you can´t treat anyone fair and equal as long as that imbalance exists.

Let´s say you have one very shy and one very outgoing player at the table und you want to give both of them an equal share of spotlight. That means you will have to shut down the outspoken player to empower the shy player, which might seem unfair at first, unless you are aware of what the imbalance here is and means.

Regarding the topic we're talking about, that means that the burden is on the loud(er) players to make the soft(er) players heard and being able to participate. If they don't manage that, the GM has to step in and deal with that imbalance.

I do not agree.

First off: Perceived imbalance. Second: How 'fair and equal', precisely? Are we talking egg timer here? How much are you willing to regulate five players, to accomodate the one player who claims his voice doesn't carry?

Mordaedil
2019-01-24, 07:51 AM
You sound like you just want to maintain your privilege of trampling over quiet folks when you post like that, you do realize that? Playing as if you are the victim of being made into a villain doesn't actually make it true. People aren't tagged as "you are loud - therefore you are rude - therefore you are the villain". It's more as "you are loud - you have an advantage - it is yours to use that power with respect - care for those who can't do what you can".

Lifting others up is far more important than needing to lift yourself up because you don't see a problem in your own behavior.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 08:05 AM
You sound like you just want to maintain your privilege of trampling over quiet folks when you post like that, you do realize that? Playing as if you are the victim of being made into a villain doesn't actually make it true. People aren't tagged as "you are loud - therefore you are rude - therefore you are the villain". It's more as "you are loud - you have an advantage - it is yours to use that power with respect - care for those who can't do what you can".

Lifting others up is far more important than needing to lift yourself up because you don't see a problem in your own behavior.

That's a strawman, you do realize that?

If you actually read what I'm saying, you'd know that. But you don't - you just look for something to be offended by and opposed to, and then you answer that, without giving any consideration to the rest of my post. So ... you either ignore, or never even read, the part where I clearly stated I try my best to include everyone, and leave space for everyone to speak. You either ignore the fact that I've stated repeatedly that of course we should all be considerate - but that it's actually all, and needs to be both ways.

All you've heard me say is that I'm unwilling to tip-toe around one person.

You need to actually read the posts, or there's precious little reason for me to respond to you. See?

Mordaedil
2019-01-24, 08:14 AM
Maybe you should be more willing to accept people around you.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 08:39 AM
Maybe you should be more willing to accept people around you.

Look - where do you get that?

You have no idea who I am, or how I am, how accepting I am. You don't know first thing about me, at all. All you're doing is, you're reading half of what I say, ignoring the other half, and then flaming me for your misunderstanding.

And it really ... I mean, I'm sure you don't realize, but you're arguing my case: This is exactly what I mean when I say implied moral aspect. You're assuming I'm an asshat, because I happen to be loud.

Durandu Ran
2019-01-24, 10:25 AM
Look - where do you get that?

You have no idea who I am, or how I am, how accepting I am. You don't know first thing about me, at all. All you're doing is, you're reading half of what I say, ignoring the other half, and then flaming me for your misunderstanding.

And it really ... I mean, I'm sure you don't realize, but you're arguing my case: This is exactly what I mean when I say implied moral aspect. You're assuming I'm an asshat, because I happen to be loud.

The first thing I know about you is that you came barging into this thread about a quiet person asking for advice with a massive victim complex.

The OP never attacked loud people for being loud, she said that she was having problems with being part of the table because of her soft voice and wanted advice on how to compensate for that. You are the one who got hyper defensive and started accusing her of wanting to silence loud people. For what it's worth, I absolutely did not get that impression from the OP's posts.

You're not an asshat because you're loud, but I did kind of get asshat vibes when you demanded that everybody consider your feelings as a loud person while simultaneously insisting a quiet person asking for people to consider their feelings was a personal attack on you as a loud person.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 10:56 AM
The first thing I know about you is that you came barging into this thread about a quiet person asking for advice with a massive victim complex.

The OP never attacked loud people for being loud, she said that she was having problems with being part of the table because of her soft voice and wanted advice on how to compensate for that. You are the one who got hyper defensive and started accusing her of wanting to silence loud people. For what it's worth, I absolutely did not get that impression from the OP's posts.

You're not an asshat because you're loud, but I did kind of get asshat vibes when you demanded that everybody consider your feelings as a loud person while simultaneously insisting a quiet person asking for people to consider their feelings was a personal attack on you as a loud person.

... what?

Yea. Same thing: Implied moral judgement. Automatic moral judgement, even. I have nothing further to say to you. If you want to have a conversation, you will need to read what I say.

Draconi Redfir
2019-01-24, 12:04 PM
... what?

translation: Literally nobody is saying you're the villain. nobody is saying loud people are the villain.

YOU are saying that. YOU are saying you / loud people are the villain, YOU are the only person who brought it up.


everyone else is trying to talk about how an individual can make herself known when she's not really able to raise her voice very well. This has nothing to do with you.

KillianHawkeye
2019-01-24, 02:07 PM
Hey, this is just a crazy idea, but maybe listening to people and reading peoples' posts goes both ways, Kaptain Keen? You're accusing people of ignoring half of your posts to paint you as a villain rather than a victim, but that seems to be exactly what you're doing as well.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Whenever I start getting into a heated argument against someone who I feel just isn't listening, at some point I have to just stop responding and exit gracefully. I suggest you do the same.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 02:44 PM
Hey, this is just a crazy idea, but maybe listening to people and reading peoples' posts goes both ways, Kaptain Keen? You're accusing people of ignoring half of your posts to paint you as a villain rather than a victim, but that seems to be exactly what you're doing as well.

Maybe this isn't the thread for you.

Whenever I start getting into a heated argument against someone who I feel just isn't listening, at some point I have to just stop responding and exit gracefully. I suggest you do the same.

If I missed someone someone said, I'd like it pointed out to me. I absolutely read what others say, I consider their words before replying, and I do not read posts looking for something to be offended by.

Maybe this thread is for me.

And maybe I'm here ..... very, very specifically ..... because I chose to be.

And I've used examples every time I mentioned the moral judgement. So if anyone feels I'm misreading their words and intent, they should have every chance to point that out.

Edit: Oh. Thanks for your kind suggestion. Thanks but no thanks.

Florian
2019-01-24, 03:03 PM
@Kaptin Keen:

You've written something about your background and problems and I can absolutely relate to that. Being hearing impaired has certain side effects that are very real and annoying, no need to talk about that. My own mother is gradually going blind and deaf at the same time, so I've got a lot of personal experience when it comes to that.

The central point about imbalances still stands, tho. A loud person will always overshadow a meek person, a forceful personality will always sideline an insecure person and so on. That's just the nature of things and when you find yourself either self-conscious to prodded by a 3rd party, you should take notice and act accordingly.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-24, 03:17 PM
The central point about imbalances still stands, tho. A loud person will always overshadow a meek person, a forceful personality will always sideline an insecure person and so on. That's just the nature of things and when you find yourself either self-conscious to prodded by a 3rd party, you should take notice and act accordingly.

But I think I've said repeatedly that ... yes, obviously, everyone should be considerate to everyone else.

It follows pretty clearly from that, that yes, a loud person should be considerate to a shy person.

I'd like someone to explain to me why it shouldn't work both ways.

Willie the Duck
2019-01-24, 04:07 PM
It follows pretty clearly from that, that yes, a loud person should be considerate to a shy person.

I'd like someone to explain to me why it shouldn't work both ways.

It does. No one is seriously disputing that consideration is a universal expectation of common decency.
What has happened is that a thread was started about a quiet person (the OP) not being able to edge their way into the discussion of their gaming group. The responded to something you said with "Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate, just..." and you took it personally, and responded as if it were an intended attack. Honestly, they were undiplomatic, and if you had responded in a considerate way along the lines of, 'I dislike how you phrased that.' I hope they would have clarified. Instead, you accused them of projecting. That was responding to clearly an accidental slight with a deliberate one. Things have gone downhill from there, but that is where things went south for you.

I suspect you are not really what others have suggested it sounds like (massive victim complex, etc.), but you are genuinely coming off that way. Throwing around terms like 'projecting' and 'strawman' certainly doesn't help (because we've all run into 'that guy' on a forum who loves those terms).

Take a step back, re-read OP's comments (with the caveat that the "Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate" comment should have come out better), and see if you can understand how the thread about a quite person not being heard is a valid subject for discussion, and that a person coming in making sure we all know that unquiet people need respect too feels like hijacking the conversation, as well as has some very... real world parallels we can't discuss.

Ronnocius
2019-01-24, 04:09 PM
There are a couple players who are a bit less talkative in the group I DM for, and are often interrupted or cut off (not purposefully purely by accident). My solution is usually to wait until the person who inadvertently interrupted to finish before going back to the player who was cut off, but sometimes I will immediately interrupt and ask them what they were about to say.

In your case, I would ask the DM about the priority push-to-talk someone described above. It seems like the best solution. I'd also recommend telling the group your concerns next session in a polite, non-accusatory way.

In regards to the loud-vs-quiet argument I agree with Kaptin Keen in that you cannot blame one side only. If the quiet person is feeling like they don't get a "fair share" (interesting choice of words) they have to take the initiative and do something about it (like the original poster is presumably doing). If you just sit and allow yourself to get talked over you have nobody to blame but yourself really (although ideally the DM would give everyone a turn, sometimes even they might not realize what is going on). Not directly related, but I'm not sure why everyone is acting so aggressively towards this argument considering that in this thread at least he has been pretty respectful.

Koo Rehtorb
2019-01-24, 04:14 PM
When playing with Kaptain Keen it is important to cast Energy Immunity (sonic) on the rest of the party.

KillianHawkeye
2019-01-25, 01:08 AM
Oh. Thanks for your kind suggestion. Thanks but no thanks.

I mean, sure, if you enjoy wasting your time like this, then please continue. It was, after all, just a suggestion.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-25, 02:31 AM
It does. No one is seriously disputing that consideration is a universal expectation of common decency.
What has happened is that a thread was started about a quiet person (the OP) not being able to edge their way into the discussion of their gaming group. The responded to something you said with "Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate, just..." and you took it personally, and responded as if it were an intended attack. Honestly, they were undiplomatic, and if you had responded in a considerate way along the lines of, 'I dislike how you phrased that.' I hope they would have clarified. Instead, you accused them of projecting. That was responding to clearly an accidental slight with a deliberate one. Things have gone downhill from there, but that is where things went south for you.

I suspect you are not really what others have suggested it sounds like (massive victim complex, etc.), but you are genuinely coming off that way. Throwing around terms like 'projecting' and 'strawman' certainly doesn't help (because we've all run into 'that guy' on a forum who loves those terms).

Take a step back, re-read OP's comments (with the caveat that the "Being a loud person doesn't mean you can't be considerate" comment should have come out better), and see if you can understand how the thread about a quite person not being heard is a valid subject for discussion, and that a person coming in making sure we all know that unquiet people need respect too feels like hijacking the conversation, as well as has some very... real world parallels we can't discuss.

There is a danger of misunderstanding on the internet. None of this is personal to me. I have no victim complex. I have absolutely nothing against the OP, I sympathize, and I'm by no means arguing that he's wrong and I'm right and quiet people need to be trod underfoot by the loud voice master race. None of that. And if I somehow gave that impression, that's on me, and wasn't intended.

I'm arguing two points (if memory serves) and nothing else: Consideration needs to be both ways, and it's important to see both sides of the issue.

In other words: The OP has a problem, which is real, and I respect that. But!

Without speaking specifically about the OP, this is important: He feels some people are ignoring him. But if you ask those other people - do they feel they are ignoring the OP? And I don't mean the OP, specifically, but I don't see how else to make the sentence clear. So what I mean is, anyone in the same situation as the OP.

There may be a victim, but I'm fairly sure there's no offender - at least not willfully so. And that's a very important distinction, because in the one case, you have a bully, and in the other, you have some guy just acting as is natural for him. In one case it's malicious, and in the other, it's happenstance.

And furthermore, if you confuse the two, then you assume a guy who just happens to be loud by nature, is actually malicious. Which he isn't.


I mean, sure, if you enjoy wasting your time like this, then please continue. It was, after all, just a suggestion.

I'm not wasting my time. I'm doing something I feel is important: I'm voicing a different opinion in an internet echo chamber. Now, you don't feel this is an echo chamber - but the reaction to a different point of view is enough that you should know it is.

Satinavian
2019-01-25, 03:32 AM
It does. No one is seriously disputing that consideration is a universal expectation of common decency.
What has happened is that a thread was started about a quiet person (the OP) not being able to edge their way into the discussion of their gaming group.

Actually the OP is about a quiet person who had no problem partaking in discussions in her table based group via rising hands but having problems when gaming over voice chat specifically because all optical signals are missing.

So, no, the problem is not and never was about loud people being inconsiderate. It was about people not noticing when a quiet person wants something to say when audio is the only channel used.



Now Kaptin Keen is not only loud, but also half deaf. Which results in him not noticing a quiet player saying something even when he does not speak at the time. And demands that consideration is to be given not only to quiet people but also to people with hearing impairment.

Now, that is not helping the OP with getting noticed over voice chat.

johnbragg
2019-01-25, 07:38 AM
Look - where do you get that?

You have no idea who I am, or how I am, how accepting I am. You don't know first thing about me, at all. All you're doing is, you're reading half of what I say, ignoring the other half, and then flaming me for your misunderstanding.

And it really ... I mean, I'm sure you don't realize, but you're arguing my case: This is exactly what I mean when I say implied moral aspect. You're assuming I'm an asshat, because I happen to be loud.

No. We're reading what you say. You have a hearing problem, and your conversational voice is loud. That can overpower people.

If you're taking your turn and letting them have their turn, and reading the other faces at the table, and giving them time to speak--then there isn't a problem. Then there isn't anything to talk about.

But you're still talking, which implies that there IS a problem. We're all assuming that there is a problem at your table, because you're still talking.

If there IS a problem, then the quieter person can't really fix it. they CAN'T talk louder. We CAN talk less. The GM *can* enforce turn-taking in conversation, just like in combat.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-25, 07:46 AM
a problem at your table

Is that what you think this is about?

Well, if so, no. No it is not. The sad truth about that is that at 48, we rarely meet in person to play anymore. Too scattered. Some stopped playing. So it's a couple of weekend sessions a year, and that's that - and there's absolutely no problems except we get to meet so rarely.

No, I'm here entirely and only on principle. Any statement I make is to be taken as general, I have zero personal involvement. Well except I'm personally involved on the principle. Consideration goes both ways, always - and don't assume that just because one guy feels bad about something, the other guy is doing it on purpose. Or, necessarily, has much of a choice in the matter.

The term 'victimless crime' is reasonably well known. But there is such a thing as an 'offenderless crime' also, and until this very moment, I'm not sure anyone but me ever used that term.

johnbragg
2019-01-25, 08:38 AM
Without speaking specifically about the OP, this is important: He feels some people are ignoring him. But if you ask those other people - do they feel they are ignoring the OP? And I don't mean the OP, specifically, but I don't see how else to make the sentence clear. So what I mean is, anyone in the same situation as the OP.

There may be a victim, but I'm fairly sure there's no offender - at least not willfully so. And that's a very important distinction, because in the one case, you have a bully, and in the other, you have some guy just acting as is natural for him. In one case it's malicious, and in the other, it's happenstance.


But it's not "just happenstance." It's an entirely predictable result of a situation. If you're aware of the situation, and you don't do anything about it (like taking turns, like checking to see if other people are in the conversation or not, etc) then you're not being malicious, but you are being inconsiderate.

If you're morbidly obese, and you sit in a friend's chair and the chair breaks, you're not acting maliciously. But you're still responsible for the damage to the chair.


Consideration goes both ways, always -

That's great, but what consideration do we loud people need? (I was raised by a half-deaf mother, so I have a volume control problem. My hearing is fine, so I only share roughly at most half of your problem.)

What consideration do we need?


and don't assume that just because one guy feels bad about something, the other guy is doing it on purpose. Or, necessarily, has much of a choice in the matter.

The term 'victimless crime' is reasonably well known. But there is such a thing as an 'offenderless crime' also, and until this very moment, I'm not sure anyone but me ever used that term.

That's because it's not a valid concept.

What you may be reaching for is the concept "negligence"--someone else comes to harm that you could and should have prevented. You don't mean to talk over Mary Mousyvoice. I believe you. What are you doing to make sure you AREN'T talking over Mary Mousyvoice?

In US law there are crimes of mens rea, which means criminal intent. There is a category of negligence, which can be either a lesser criminal charge or civil liability, where there was no criminal intent, but your actions had the reasonably foreseeable result of the bad thing happening--you did not take due care. And there is "not guilty/ act of god", where the bad thing was not a reasonably foreseeable result--you acted as a responsible and reasonable person, but things happen.

..
..
I've thought a bit about "what consideration do we loud people need", and I think I've framed that badly in your case. The real question is "what consideration do the hearing impaired need?" And I think the answer to that is some form of signaling system that the quiet person is trying to talk. Normal-range-hearing people get that signal by hearing the voice.

So I think we come to the same result.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-25, 09:01 AM
But it's not "just happenstance."

Yes it is.


What consideration do we need?

What do you even mean? The same as everyone else.


That's because it's not a valid concept.

Yes, it is.

See, you're not willing to try and understand. And then I'm not willing to have a conversation.

I'm out. Have a nice discussion, thanks for your input, enjoy the weekend - bye =)

Rhedyn
2019-01-25, 09:03 AM
I know it took our group awhile to convince the new girl that talking when other people are talking in an RPG isn't rude but expected and she should say what she wants to say rather than being "respectful".

Someone is always talking in a fun RPG session. If you refuse to "interrupt people" then you basically won't participate unless the session is bad.

Everyone knows the Loudmouth shouldn't shout people down. Few realize that the quiet shy person needs to actually talk and not immediately back down.

Willie the Duck
2019-01-25, 09:21 AM
There is a danger of misunderstanding on the internet. None of this is personal to me. I have no victim complex. I have absolutely nothing against the OP, I sympathize, and I'm by no means arguing that he's wrong and I'm right and quiet people need to be trod underfoot by the loud voice master race. None of that. And if I somehow gave that impression, that's on me, and wasn't intended.

Thank you. Yes, I do believe that things came down in deviation from how you intended. I don't think it came out as, '[s/]he's wrong and I'm right and quiet people need to be trod underfoot by the loud voice master race,' so much as it seemed like you might have been sitting in a basement, wearing a fedora, and typing out tweets with the hashtag #notallloudpeople, if that reference makes sense.


I'm arguing two points (if memory serves) and nothing else: Consideration needs to be both ways, and it's important to see both sides of the issue.

And that's legitimate, although the very act of framing it as sides (which we are all now doing) is treating the situation as an emotional football, so to speak, rather than an attempt to resolve a gamer's IRL problem.


There may be a victim, but I'm fairly sure there's no offender - at least not willfully so. And that's a very important distinction, because in the one case, you have a bully, and in the other, you have some guy just acting as is natural for him. In one case it's malicious, and in the other, it's happenstance.

You're right. There is likely not a willful offender. That, in general, is what happens when someone feels that others are being inconsiderate to them -- they are feeling that others aren't considering their situation. The entire issue is revolving around the unintentionally problematic actions of people who, by any reasonable assumption, are not trying to be harmful to each other. You don't join a gaming group to be deliberately disruptive to your fellow gamers (well, most people don't, and we have special names and horror stories related to those that do). The nonexistence of a willful offender is a true statement, but only a major point of discussion if we are obsessing on assigning blame, which I don't think anyone else thought was the goal here.


Actually the OP is about a quiet person who had no problem partaking in discussions in her table based group via rising hands but having problems when gaming over voice chat specifically because all optical signals are missing.

I am confused by your response. You say, 'actually,' but none of that contradicts what I said ('What has happened is that a thread was started about a quiet person (the OP) not being able to edge their way into the discussion of their gaming group'). What specifically are you contending?


So, no, the problem is not and never was about loud people being inconsiderate. It was about people not noticing when a quiet person wants something to say when audio is the only channel used.

I... did not use the word considerate once in reference to loud people at all in the post you are quoting (in the part you quoted or otherwise). I quoted the word in my quote of OP's response to Kaptin Keen, and then suggested that things would have gone different if Kaptin Keen had been more considerate in their response to perceived slights by the OP, but I never mentioned inconsiderateness in discussion of the general OP-presented situation (I certainly have now, as it has become part of the discussion). So from my perspective you are saying 'no' to my what I've said, but then completely refuted a position I did not take. This is all very odd, from my perspective.

Kaptin Keen
2019-01-25, 09:40 AM
Thank you. Yes, I do believe that things came down in deviation from how you intended. I don't think it came out as, '[s/]he's wrong and I'm right and quiet people need to be trod underfoot by the loud voice master race,' so much as it seemed like you might have been sitting in a basement, wearing a fedora, and typing out tweets with the hashtag #notallloudpeople, if that reference makes sense.

And that's legitimate, although the very act of framing it as sides (which we are all now doing) is treating the situation as an emotional football, so to speak, rather than an attempt to resolve a gamer's IRL problem.

You're right. There is likely not a willful offender. That, in general, is what happens when someone feels that others are being inconsiderate to them -- they are feeling that others aren't considering their situation. The entire issue is revolving around the unintentionally problematic actions of people who, by any reasonable assumption, are not trying to be harmful to each other. You don't join a gaming group to be deliberately disruptive to your fellow gamers (well, most people don't, and we have special names and horror stories related to those that do). The nonexistence of a willful offender is a true statement, but only a major point of discussion if we are obsessing on assigning blame, which I don't think anyone else thought was the goal here.

Sometimes it's difficult to express precisely what it is you want, when you're speaking a second language (even if you speak it well), and the subject matter is complicated. You sum up very succinctly what I'm trying to say, and I want to thank you for that. It's rare in an internet discussion - and rarer the more agitated - for anyone to be looking for the intended meaning, rather than for something to be upset about.

Thank you! And have a nice weekend. I shall now disengage myself from this thread =)

Maybe one last comment: Heated discussions are heated discussions. If I caused anyone any offense, my apologies. I aim not to, generally speaking.

Mordaedil
2019-01-25, 08:02 PM
As far as I can tell, only one person has taken offense this entire thread.

Just because everyone agrees on something, doesn't mean it is an echo chamber.

Zaharra
2019-02-03, 06:58 AM
I guess I should have clarified that I'm not particularly shy, I'm rather ebullient and convivial, but my voice doesn't carry and I do tend to stop talking when interrupted

Not entirely certain why the thread turned into an arguement about if it's rude to be loud, but there were some useful comments in there :) I do play with my mic at maximum volume and my DM has everyone else's volume turned down and mine turned up. There's another woman in my group but she has a contralto voice that carries well, so it's really just a me thing

Still haven't found a solution in my group yet, but we had a player drop and it's a little more manageable with three other players instead of four

johnbragg
2019-02-03, 11:08 AM
I guess I should have clarified that I'm not particularly shy, I'm rather ebullient and convivial, but my voice doesn't carry and I do tend to stop talking when interrupted

Not entirely certain why the thread turned into an arguement about if it's rude to be loud, but there were some useful comments in there :) I do play with my mic at maximum volume and my DM has everyone else's volume turned down and mine turned up. There's another woman in my group but she has a contralto voice that carries well, so it's really just a me thing

Still haven't found a solution in my group yet, but we had a player drop and it's a little more manageable with three other players instead of four

It sounds like your DM is working with you. So I think the answer is to have the DM enforce turn-taking. Which is also more manageable the fewer players there are.

MagneticKitty
2019-02-07, 01:55 PM
Discord tip: have them click on your name in voice chat and pull the volume up to max. You can also adjust your Mic sensitivity in of settings and discord settings.