Trials and Tribulations of a Message Board Dork

[ray53208]

i have too much free time. time that could (and should) be spent furthering my alleged career, pursuing a relationship, or enlightening myself with new vistas of knowledge and wisdom, is spent cruising and posting on various message boards.

i know that sometimes i take my message board addiction a little too seriously. when someone dislikes something i like i tend to take it personally. and that is stupid of me. everyone is entitled to their own opinion and to voice it, but somewhere in the recesses of my psyche a little red button gets pushed and i take the time to counter an opinion. sometimes a little too harshly. for those of you whove felt the lash, i apologise.

recently, i was on another board that shall remain nameless. it is dedicated to a game im really interested in and from time to time i chime in with an idea or opinon. i try to keep things light hearted and funny. perhaps its a mistake to assume that everyone appreciates my sense of humor just because people in real life tell me im funny. needless to say, eventually a little red button got pushed and i had to chime in. i posted what i honestly felt was a humorous and relatively harmless bit of artistic commentary. it would be a stretch to call it satire, but what the heck, lets call it quasi-satirical. not political, it was about rpgs. there was no bad language or general naughtiness involved.

next thing i know a moderator deletes the image. they said that the image ate up too much bandwith, which seems strange because others posted images too. the mod follwed it up with a post saying that i was bashing and that negativity was boring... or something to that effect. i get an email. i respond with courtesy and levity. i acquiesce and comply completely. the response was in no uncertain terms rather curt, it was made known that my humor wasnt appreciated, and the implication was that i was to simply be silent.

i accept that if the mod says something its law. i mean they are kind enough to take the time to moderate, and its possible that they are even footing the bill to keep the board open. i respect this, but it left me with a rather unsettling feeling that i was unwelcome.

so, i took the time to get a feel for the vibe of that particular board. read the posts by other mods and members with clout. i have to say that it seems to me, upon further examination, that that particular board is rather square (to put in terms that you hep cats will jive with). i mean even for a supposedly "family friendly" joint, its square. i feel its a shame that i cant be a part of that community because i tend towards being more outspoken. i just cant bury my head in the sand and hope to avoid any kind of conflict or controversy. ive got to face things head on. while i dont desire confrontation for its own sake, i do sometimes feel that some sacred cows need tipping. what i find disappointing is that there really isnt another site dedicated to that particular game, and i wont really be able to communicate with gamers who share my interest openly and with real integrity.

i suppose there is no real point to this other than wondering what people think. i welcome thoughts and opinons, even critical or dissenting ones. and if this post seems boring or inappropriate, please feel free to delete it, moderators.

[tannish2]

then discuss that game, but be a humorless ****, or stand up to them and explain that it WAS humor, and that if they dont appriciate it they can (or more likely while um... idk i would usually ahve something mildly funny here but im in dire need of sleep) go **** themselves or ban you if their going to treat you like that (assuming that your version was perfect, it seems that they were rather dickish)

[Catch]

Having seen you--and your snide remarks (no offense, though)--around, I can see where you're coming from, and having been a bit of a wiseass myself, I know how you feel. I could go into a long exposition about all of this, but I have a tendency to ramble and type more than most are willing to read.

The short of it is that you seemingly lack the ability to bite your tongue and unfortunately, it's an important life skill. I didn't write (or read) How To Win Friends and Influence People, but I can assure you, there is no chapter within its pages called "Always Win the Argument." It's just not important and it's not appreciated either. People are (ususally) willing to listen to another's opinion, but if it's caustic and condescending, they're rarely going to appreciate your insights, no matter how right you are.

My point, distilled, is that you can express yourself fully without demeaning others. And it's an aquired skill.

Best of luck.

[Winterwind]

In my experience, the less popular a hobby/game/whatever is, the more fanatic a community dedicated to this thing will be. You say the forum in question is the only one you could find for that game of yours, so it would seem to me it is quite far outside of mainstream, and hence the community will generally react very aggressively towards any comments outside of the usual yay-sayers.

Also (if it is video game), computer game communities tend to be amongst those with the lowest level of civility, equalled in this regard only by forums dedicated specifically to highly controversial themes only.

What I am saying is, it might well be that due to the specific nature of the forum in question it reacted poorly to remarks which would have been deemed completely normal in a different forum.

[ray53208]

Having seen you--and your snide remarks (no offense, though)--around, I can see where you're coming from, and having been a bit of a wiseass myself, I know how you feel. I could go into a long exposition about all of this, but I have a tendency to ramble and type more than most are willing to read.

The short of it is that you seemingly lack the ability to bite your tongue and unfortuneatly, it's an important life skill. I didn't write (or read) How To Win Friends and Influence People, but I can assure you, there is no chapter within it's pages called "Always Win the Argument." It's just not important and it's not appreciated either. People are (ususally) willing to listen to another's opinion, but if it's caustic and condescending, they're rarely going to appreciate your insights, no matter how right you are.

My point, distilled, is that you can express yourself fully without demeaning others. And it's an aquired skill.

Best of luck.

snide? perhaps. i appreciate your point of view. i understand that its no fun to be spoken to in a condescending manner simply because you possess a differing opinion.

i suppose that in most matters i am more than happy to be civil. perhaps where there is a lapse in civility is when i take personal umbrage at a particular thing, especially when i believe ernestly that people are being deliberately taken advantage of. as i did in the situation described in my original post.

as for always winning an argument, i dont. and usually when i dont win i acknowledge that the other persons point has been made and their kung fu is best. however, if they are wrong, im not going to placate them simply because its the nice thing to do. actually, most of the time i simply ignore certain comments. i bypass completely any kind of argument and simply chalk it up to different strokes for different folks. but, unfortunately, sometimes ive got to call it like i see it. because i am no monument to justice... or civility.