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Stabby
2007-09-26, 12:41 PM
Ok, this is in line with the many other threads of "Best/Worst Feat/Skills/Items". This is for those skills you made up.

For example, my swashbuckler has "Craft: Cunning Plan". I use it whenever we have to do something out of the usual "Attack and Kill" mode. My DM has me roll it when I decide to get "creative" on our ambushes. If I make it, it usual has a hefty DC, things seem to go more towards plan. I also have "Language: Charming".

My Dwarven Artificer has "Craft: Bond device" and "Profession: Q". Guess what he does?

Anyone else have strange variations of skills that they feel like sharing?

SpiderKoopa
2007-09-26, 12:49 PM
Skill Deuche-baggery.
Synergy gives a +2 to bluff.

This skill allows the character to be a complete deuche-bag (making rude comments, etc) with exceptional skill and allows the character to grab the attention of others w/in ear-shot
:P

Solo
2007-09-26, 12:49 PM
My Barbarian has Craft: Poetry.

"To smash or not to smash, that is the question."

Indon
2007-09-26, 12:52 PM
Profession: Adventurer is a popular one.

Randel
2007-09-26, 01:45 PM
Craft: Macaroni and cheese

Kenbert
2007-09-26, 01:56 PM
Craft: Macaroni and cheese

Hahaha ... hilarious!

Metagame (INT): allows character to utilize information known to the player, but not to the character.

Abuse Magic Device (CHA): As use magic device, but for using well-intended devices for evil purposes.

Perform (Miracle) (CHA): As the spell, but optimized for skill monkeys.

Manhandle Animal (CHA): You don't want to know.

The_Werebear
2007-09-26, 01:58 PM
Profession: Ninja

Craft: Thong

Gnome Punting (Str): Allows you to punt gnomes on a DC 10 skill check, the gnome going 1 foot for each foot per point you exceed the DC.

Language: Pig Latin

Craft: Scars

Profession: Brain Surgeon

Thanatos 51-50
2007-09-26, 01:59 PM
Knowledge: Whatever is trying to kill me.

Kurald Galain
2007-09-26, 02:01 PM
Most of my characters run out of skill points way before the question of making up extra skills comes up.

Nerd-o-rama
2007-09-26, 02:01 PM
Knowledge: Tactics is one I always want to use, but I stole that from d20 Modern.

Knowledge: Subatomic Physics and Craft: Anti-Neutronium if we're not being serious here.

slexlollar89
2007-09-26, 02:05 PM
These are real ones I've used or let others use:

craft: disturbing mental immage
profession: bum
profession: cleric (this was the binder!)
craft: tinker (guy could create interesting things/inventions)
awareness (wis): become aware of your surroundings (synergy with sense motive), replaced listen and spot
knowledge (importance): you know what you need to know, and don't bother with other knowledges

These are some funny ones:

Profession: bouncer (guess what they do.)
Craft: cunning threat
Profession: anarchist
Knowledge (ledges): you dont just climb the ledge, you know ledge.
Knowledge (philosophy): someone in one of my games took this and trid to befuddle a minotaur... it sort of worked except the axe in his head, he didn't plan for that good of a rebuttle.

Oh yeah, we also allowed wild empathy to be used in the bedroom if ya know what I mean :smallwink:

BardicDuelist
2007-09-26, 02:11 PM
While not necessairly made up, I had "Craft: Legal Contract" and "Profession: Lawyer" for a character who was obessed with getting out of Faustian Pacts without losing their benefit. He was finally killed by Mephitstopheles avatar, twice.

I also had "Craft: Crazy Gnome Stuff" and "Perform: Amazing Deeds" on a couple joke characters.

"Knowledge: Plot" pissed a DM off in annother goof off campaign.

Shas aia Toriia
2007-09-26, 03:27 PM
Bounty Hunter (all - average score used)

Your ability to kill an opponent, your level is a miscellanious bonus.

Swooper
2007-09-26, 04:21 PM
Hmm, I had a character take Speak Language: Uncommon once. Not much beyond that, and certainly nothing on the level of hilarity of this thread :smalltongue:

ZeroNumerous
2007-09-26, 04:29 PM
Craft: Scathing Insult.
Knowledge: Witty Retorts.

Profession: Psychiatrist. Used by a character who frequently used Evard's Black Tentacles. :smallbiggrin:

Volug
2007-09-26, 04:30 PM
:smallfurious: Arrr, Roll Dice: a check t' see if you can roll dice....


You can practically use Anythin' for a skill check... like typin'.... typin' checks take high numbers t' put all these peroids int' my sentances......
and o' course my insert freakin awesome smilie face check :smallbiggrin: A pence for an old man o'de sea?:smallredface:


2/15 its a dare dont ask...

horseboy
2007-09-26, 04:31 PM
Dragon Poker

Thanatos 51-50
2007-09-26, 04:32 PM
While not necessairly made up, I had "Craft: Legal Contract" and "Profession: Lawyer" for a character who was obessed with getting out of Faustian Pacts without losing their benefit. He was finally killed by Mephitstopheles avatar, twice.

I like the fact that he was killed TWICE. That somehow makes it funnier than just a single death at the hands of the avatar.

Kyeudo
2007-09-26, 04:36 PM
Dragon Poker

I think thats a Skill check, with the feat Win at Dragon Poker needed for success.

Mr. Moogle
2007-09-26, 04:42 PM
My friends converter cleric once had ranks in craft: sermon.

Chronos
2007-09-26, 05:05 PM
I think thats a Skill check, with the feat Win at Dragon Poker needed for success.Nah, you only need the feat on alternate Tuesdays, after a hand has been won by a pair of Unicorns.

Yeril
2007-09-26, 05:27 PM
I once let the party fighter take a skill called "Door smashing."

Using his skill bonus instead of an ability check to smash doors and walls, represented by learning weak points and flaws in types of doors instead of just smashing them.

5 ranks gave a +2 synergy bonus to bull rush attempts.

Deme
2007-09-26, 05:36 PM
I've considered telling my players they can invest in

hold your drink (con)

...because we roll to see if we get drunk too much.

sikyon
2007-09-26, 05:42 PM
Perform: Exotic Dance

No not really. But would that be Perform or Profession?

Tarken
2007-09-26, 05:43 PM
one that we use a lot is "knowledge:common sense"(:elan: he could use some ranks, though it may rid him of his "invisibility") used to determin such things as: is having the level 10 monk punch the commoner (who insulted his beer drinking skills) to death a "good" idea, and should have 5 lbs of sunrod(we were in a sunrod garden and our paladin loaded up, we still have 4 lbs after 3 level ups)

another favorite of mine is the skill I had Tarken take after learning all the languages available for halfings "Speak language: Ye olde common" also known as french,it was abandoned for "Ye newe common" as "Ye olde common" had to many accents and verb rules, I said to the DM after asking if i can take it "if I'm gonna learn it in real life I'm learnin' it for D&D too"
it was worth the 2 skill points of humor:smallbiggrin:

Raolin_Fenix
2007-09-26, 05:56 PM
My DM, with one of his former characters in a campaign he wasn't DMing in, once had max ranks in Perform: Kama Sutra. He even used it to screw some evil elven wizard unconscious and then kill him in his sleep. Yes, him -- he, my DM's character, shapechanged into a female of the the wizard's race beforehand.

Currently, on a less amusing note, we've combined a lot of "less useful" skills, or skills that are very similar, into one. Climb, Jump, and Swim all now fall under "Athletics," and Balance is now a function of the Tumble skill (which I just refer to as Acrobatics). Open Lock is now a function of Disable Device. If one is a class skill, the others are (for instance, if Open Lock is a class skill but Disable Device is not, now Disable Device is a class skill, and vice-versa). I like the way it works out.

Volug
2007-09-26, 05:56 PM
Perform: Belly Dancing:smallbiggrin:

Yes, i made this up....

Shades of Gray
2007-09-26, 06:04 PM
perform: Evil Deeds

Bards get +1 on attack and damage rolls 'cause they stabbed a kitty.:smallconfused: :smallbiggrin:

Xuincherguixe
2007-09-26, 06:09 PM
Not mine, but Lovecrafting

It has a modifier of negative wisdom

ForzaFiori
2007-09-26, 06:13 PM
I tried taking ranks in "Craft: Important Thingamajig" at one point (for those times when you really need some random item, and no one thought to bring it), but my DM said no.

horseboy
2007-09-26, 06:13 PM
Perform: Exotic Dance

No not really. But would that be Perform or Profession?

Is that for the lesbian, stripper, ninja catgirl?

Dhavaer
2007-09-26, 06:20 PM
Perform: Exotic Dance

No not really. But would that be Perform or Profession?

I assume it's a subset of Perform (dance). You could have Profession (stripper), though.

The_Werebear
2007-09-26, 06:32 PM
Speaking of which, Profession: MacGyver (Wis). Learn how to kill a man in a single blow using nothing but a fishing line, a silver piece, and a kobold's left tonail.

Xuincherguixe
2007-09-26, 06:47 PM
MacGyver should probably be negative wisdom too all things considered :P

Orzel
2007-09-26, 07:30 PM
Eat (Con)

used for eating contests, eating documents, and swallowing potions.

Draz74
2007-09-26, 08:12 PM
Knowledge (Monsters)
Knowledge (The Future)
Chess (Int)
Profession (Piracy)

horseboy
2007-09-27, 12:33 PM
Nah, you only need the feat on alternate Tuesdays, after a hand has been won by a pair of Unicorns.

Unless the hand was dealt by a left appendage being.
Unless said being is a Trollip.
Or if said being only has apaendages on their left.

Chaos Bringer
2007-09-27, 01:58 PM
The DM wouldnt let me but i had a dwarf that should have had Knowledge (Taste). As it was i used it untrained all the time :smallwink:

Yeril
2007-09-27, 02:37 PM
Is that for the lesbian, stripper, ninja catgirl?

No, for the Red haired Elf lesbian Bisexual Rogue in black leather.

Vincentrose91
2007-09-27, 11:24 PM
Profession (Teamkilling)
Profession (Useless party member)
Craft (Death threats)


Yeah, the 2nd one was my bard, and the other two are from my duskblade.
Lol

Telvos
2007-09-27, 11:33 PM
Knowledge(Mornington Crescent)

Kellus
2007-09-27, 11:36 PM
Perform (Strip): For a reason I have never understood, near the end of my first campaign, I allowed one of the characters to take this skill. She spent her considerable wealth on a truckload of magic items to gain bonuses to this skill, which she had just maxed out her ranks in after going up a level. In addition, she had gained a feat, which meant she also took Skill Focus: Perform (Strip). She proceeded to enter the King's chamber, use her skill, and learned everything she wanted to from him and every other male NPC in the room.

Eat: I had for a magic system I was thinking of making, based on pudding. The idea is that there's no one right way to eat pudding, and so you can use any ability score for the skill. I never got around to finishing the system (I made a cooler one instead) but the Eat skill persists. I love the idea of somebody somehow failing to eat pudding.

Hawriel
2007-09-27, 11:39 PM
Speaking of which, Profession: MacGyver (Wis). Learn how to kill a man in a single blow using nothing but a fishing line, a silver piece, and a kobold's left tonail.

Oh you beat me to it :smallamused: Mac never killed any one though.

I would also look into Craft: A-Team.

I was thinking of making a fighter with profesion: locksmith.