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View Full Version : DM Help Do you ever get tired of DMing?



Aetis
2019-02-12, 02:14 PM
DMing is unfair. :smallannoyed:

I'm not sure how to describe it, but I feel like I, as a DM, am putting in magnitudes of more time and effort into the campaign compared to my players, but the enjoyment we get out of it is about the same.

I mean it's fun. It's super fun. It's fun to watch the players interact with NPCs I've put in, enjoy the cool maps I drew, try to solve the plot and the story I present, and overcome challenges I come up with. But.... is it really worth all the hours and hours of preparation I do? I can just load up a video game and play that for hours, and that's worth a ton of enjoyment without me needing to put in all the effort. Do you see what I'm talking about?

It's not like I can switch with one of them to play as a player. They can't DM. They don't know how to balance encounters, draw maps, put in a coherent plot, put in memorable NPCs, etc. I've seen some of their earlier attempts at DMing and it was disastrous. Perhaps with time, they would get better at DMing, but I don't know if I have the patience to wait.

Maybe I just need to be appreciated more, or it's the burnout talking and I just need a bit of break, I don't know.

hotflungwok
2019-02-12, 02:22 PM
Burnout happens. If you're feeling burned out, take a break or you'll just make it worse. Talk to your players about it and come up with something else you can do for a while. Play board games or something else the nights you would normally play D&D, if as you say, the other players are not up to running a game.

I've been there. Don't keep pushing yourself to run or you'll end up hating it.

hymer
2019-02-12, 02:35 PM
As hotflungwok says, it sounds like burnout. Yes, preparation takes a lot of effort. But even then, there should be some enjoyment in it, joy of creation, pride in accomplishment...
It sounds like you need a break. It will come back to you.

LordCdrMilitant
2019-02-12, 03:43 PM
Sort of?

I've only every really become unenthusiastic about GM'ing a game once; which was also one of my worst games. Basically, I wasn't enthusiastic about the world or the game's themes in the first place because I wasn't actually running the game I wanted to run but was running a game somebody else wanted me to run, I felt like I kept getting questioned on every feature of the world [along the lines of "that river turns unrealistically"], and I felt like the players were more interested in reveling in uncontested power than actually interacting with the world and characters.


That said, I do fairly frequently feel "oh, I want to [i]play this time," but nobody ever runs the games I actually want to play, so I run games instead so the games I want happen. But I don't get tired of them.

Calthropstu
2019-02-12, 03:56 PM
That's why I love my sunday group. Every one of us is a gm as well as a player. I GMed for them for a while, then they GMed some games too.

LaserFace
2019-02-12, 04:04 PM
I only get tired of DMing if I'm doing too much. Playing too frequently or too much campaign planning will do that.

I'd recommend boiling down your prep to only the most basic aspects that require attention. I only prep one, maybe two sessions in advance, with everything else on a back-burner. My efforts are always focused on the immediate. If the party has very broad options available, individual paths only get fleshed out as they continue to progress through them. More than that and you can quickly get overwhelmed.

I also think you should rely on random generators, the DMG, anything that can help you populate aspects of your world that you don't want to really spend too much time on. You don't have to use any of the random material, but it can quickly spark new ideas if you come up with something you just didn't previously consider. You might end up saving time, instead of doing what I used to do: stare at a page for 20 minutes, only having written the words, "New town: Farm ... Bandits?" and then falling asleep.

If you play weekly, try maybe taking a gap here or there, or just do twice a month.

Darth Ultron
2019-02-12, 09:33 PM
I don't get tired of Dming: I love it too much.

A DM will always put like a ton more into a D&D game then a player will: really that is part of the game. And a lot of players will just....well....show up and won't have an interest in doing much else.

My solution here was the simple: look only for players that wanted to play the game as much as I did.

I also like a very specific type of game: High power, high magic fast paced action adventure. And again, I looked for players that liked and wanted the exact same type of game.

And so I built up some groups of friends and gamers.

Deophaun
2019-02-12, 09:46 PM
Yes, but then I log off Twitter.

Hackulator
2019-02-13, 12:57 AM
Well, burnout of course happens, and in my groups we tend to switch off DMing. However, if you're not patient enough with new DMs to let them learn to be better, that's pretty much on you. I have seen more than one group where one person is "the DM" and while they complain about needing to DM, they also are control freaks who don't really want to give it up, and when they let other people DM they tend to crap all over them for not being as good (and often "not as good" means "not like me"). So if other people in your game are willing to try DMing, you need to ask yourself if the above description applies to you.

Zhorn
2019-02-13, 02:28 AM
Yes, but then I log off Twitter.

*chuckles in DM*

Pelle
2019-02-13, 08:25 AM
I'm not sure how to describe it, but I feel like I, as a DM, am putting in magnitudes of more time and effort into the campaign compared to my players, but the enjoyment we get out of it is about the same.


If the time and effort you put in is worth it for your own enjoyment, keep doing it. If not, stop. You can't expect of others that they will make it worth it for you. If they don't seem to appreciate all the work you do, definitely cut back on it (unless you do it for your own enjoyment). If there is no game unless you take responsibility and run one, do consider that the other players are never going to care as much as you about the game, so make sure it's sustainable for yourself.

I enjoy most of the prep I do, so for me it's usually worth it. The only times I get tired of DMing is when the players are indecisive and fail to take any actions whatsoever. If that happens for too much of the sessions, it stops being worth my time.

Koo Rehtorb
2019-02-13, 11:13 AM
Try GMing some games that need less prep time, maybe.

ElementalKnight
2019-02-13, 12:27 PM
I've been a GM for my group of friends for years, and while I'm not the *only* GM, I am one of only a few. And I find I have a few reasons for burnout:

GMing a single campaign for too long. I find a year, two at the most, is the sweet spot.
Not being a player in too long. You're right that being a GM is a lot of work - a lot more work than it is for players! Sometimes you gotta get back on the other side of the table.
Not having new things to try and explore within your current game. You can get bored just as easily as any player can. Find new mechanics, baddies, places, or themes to sink your teeth into!


And as for your friends not being good GMs... yeah, it sucks, and not everyone can do it well. But I am of the opinion that 'a game played poorly with friends is better than no game at all'. Try starting them off with modules, so they aren't thrown in the deep end immediately. Or, play with a totally different game system, where none of you are experts. Or even something that doesn't have a proper GM, like Fiasco, where it's a collaborative experience. But you gotta vary it up to keep your creativity fed and your brain fresh, and you gotta give them a chance to get that GMing EXP if you ever want them to be good at it.

Psikerlord
2019-02-14, 03:00 AM
DMing is unfair. :smallannoyed:

I'm not sure how to describe it, but I feel like I, as a DM, am putting in magnitudes of more time and effort into the campaign compared to my players, but the enjoyment we get out of it is about the same.

I mean it's fun. It's super fun. It's fun to watch the players interact with NPCs I've put in, enjoy the cool maps I drew, try to solve the plot and the story I present, and overcome challenges I come up with. But.... is it really worth all the hours and hours of preparation I do? I can just load up a video game and play that for hours, and that's worth a ton of enjoyment without me needing to put in all the effort. Do you see what I'm talking about?

It's not like I can switch with one of them to play as a player. They can't DM. They don't know how to balance encounters, draw maps, put in a coherent plot, put in memorable NPCs, etc. I've seen some of their earlier attempts at DMing and it was disastrous. Perhaps with time, they would get better at DMing, but I don't know if I have the patience to wait.

Maybe I just need to be appreciated more, or it's the burnout talking and I just need a bit of break, I don't know.

Try having a complete break for a while. When you come back, and you will, try a system that doesnt need balanced encounters, and a sandbox style game where you can rotate GMs easily. Best of luck.

MoiMagnus
2019-02-14, 05:02 AM
DMing is tiring. DM's burn out is a thing that happens quite frequently, so taking a break beforehand is advised.

First DMing is almost always bad. Looking back, my way of DMing during the first 3-4 years (out of 10) were absolute crap.
And still now, there is only one RPG where I consider I am a good DM (Paranoia), and few where I'm ok-ish (5e and a lot of minimalistic-rules RPGs), but I would probably consider myself as a bad DM when trying any other RPG (e.g 3.5e).

And since you mostly always progress as a DM, it mean that the more you DM, the more you become better at DMing than your players...
My usual DM like to give "DMing courses" to our student club once in a year, in order to increase the number of potential DMs in the club (because he very well know the pain of being forced into DMing because you're the only one barely skilled at it)

some guy
2019-02-14, 08:25 AM
I've been a GM for my group of friends for years, and while I'm not the *only* GM, I am one of only a few. And I find I have a few reasons for burnout:

GMing a single campaign for too long. I find a year, two at the most, is the sweet spot.
Not being a player in too long. You're right that being a GM is a lot of work - a lot more work than it is for players! Sometimes you gotta get back on the other side of the table.
Not having new things to try and explore within your current game. You can get bored just as easily as any player can. Find new mechanics, baddies, places, or themes to sink your teeth into!


And as for your friends not being good GMs... yeah, it sucks, and not everyone can do it well. But I am of the opinion that 'a game played poorly with friends is better than no game at all'. Try starting them off with modules, so they aren't thrown in the deep end immediately. Or, play with a totally different game system, where none of you are experts. Or even something that doesn't have a proper GM, like Fiasco, where it's a collaborative experience. But you gotta vary it up to keep your creativity fed and your brain fresh, and you gotta give them a chance to get that GMing EXP if you ever want them to be good at it.

These are all good points.
I'd like to add that there's nothing wrong with cutting a campaign short. It might suck to do it, but what even sucks more is running a game for several sessions you're not motivated for.

If you prepare for hours and hours, try to cut back on that. I try to prepare 1 hour at most for 3-4 hours of playing. In the start of a campaign I might need to prepare more, but that's compensated with sessions I prepare 15 minutes for. Don't be afraid to wing the small things. If you're bad at improvisations take a small bathroom break, or a quick battle "When in doubt have a man come through a door with a gun in his hand.".

Trying a different (maybe lighter) system. The new sci-fi-horror rpg Mothership is incredibly light to run, everything's written to maximize prep speed, it's a blast. I run 3 different systems at this moment (dnd, Mothership, Night's Black Agents) and I want to run more in the near future (Call of Cthulhu, Gamma World, Numenera). The only way I could keep this up because not every game I run is in the same system, and I have enough time as a player.

If there isn't a system which brings a spark: take a break. You don't need break up the group, board gaming is a lot of fun.

Aetis
2019-02-14, 11:22 AM
Thanks for all the advices, everyone. I have decided to take a break.

The group will continue playing with someone else as the DM.

For the first time in many years, I feel at peace.

Jophiel
2019-02-14, 12:01 PM
Something that could help for 5e (not at the OP specifically since he made a choice but for the general topic) might be playing some Adventurers League games in your off time if available. They don't demand a whole lot from you as a player but get you on the other side of the screen and allow you to unwind by playing the game instead of constantly running it.

Slipperychicken
2019-02-15, 10:43 AM
Is there consensus on GM/game-rotation's effectiveness as a burnout-avoidance strategy?

My gaming group currently includes 2-3 GM-capable members, and I'm wondering how much it could work to have a multiple parallel campaigns to reduce the pressure on each one.

braveheart
2019-02-15, 11:33 AM
The Gm's paradox is that you always run the game you most want to play in. among my play group we are lucky enough to have 3 viable GMs, (one isn't quite as good as me and the other but at least he is willing) but my games are usually the ones I find most in line with my taste as a player. All that said, I believe that every player should at some poi t try to GM. If for no other reason than to see what goes into the other side of the screen.

In truth I get the most payoff from GMing, becauss I take pride in knowing my friends have enjoyed what I built for them. Also running the game can be fun.

Your friends don't need to know how to balance combat to try GMing, they don't need to be good at drawing maps to try it wither. All they need ia a DMG a willingness to learn, a little creativity, and a lot of improvisational skill. Everything else about GMing is a learned skill and they can improve with time. I believe anyone who can have a good grasp of the rules and enjoys D&D can absolutely GM.


For slippery chicken, my group currently is running 3 campaigns, and we are all extremely invested in all of them, my friend runs a weekly game, as well as another one that only happens every few months, and I run a monthly game. The pacing and style differences between my game and the weekly one make both more satisfying and keeps them from being confused. And the third game functions as a kind of palet cleanser for my friend and helps prevent him from getting GM burnout. Overall it works quite well for us, and each campaign let's us have dramatically different stories.

LordCdrMilitant
2019-02-15, 01:59 PM
Is there consensus on GM/game-rotation's effectiveness as a burnout-avoidance strategy?

My gaming group currently includes 2-3 GM-capable members, and I'm wondering how much it could work to have a multiple parallel campaigns to reduce the pressure on each one.

I don't know about that.

For me, having a single group running multiple campaigns seems like it might hasten burnout, or at least kill the other games in favor of the best one each week. I would definitely burn out playing D&D with the same people in multiple different campaigns.

I actually run 2 campaigns a week, a Black Crusade and a Dark Heresy campaign, but I run them for different people. Since playing games for me is in part a social and group-bonding experience, I don't really burn out on either. But, if there are multiple campaigns running in the same group, which has happened before, it's harder to justify me running an additional campaign and I become tired of it much more quickly, double so if I'm enjoying one of the other ones. It has definitely been my experience that when a single group has multiple games running, one eventually crowds out the others.

Metahuman1
2019-02-15, 10:37 PM
I sympathize with the OP. I wind up running games cause I don't feel like the people who will even try to GM are competent to GM the system or setting were in. (Most often when I've decided to try it anyway, my fears were confirmed.).

But GMing is rather a drag.

I'm going to be going into a rotation IRL soon. Thank heavens. I'll be running Mutants and Masterminds 3E in the DC Universe, as a headache saver. Stat's are easy to keep track of, I don't have to worry about Inventory except in a VERY abstract manner, and most of the major NPC's I might need are pre-stated in books I have, or have variant builds people have made and put up for free on places like Atomic Think Tank for fun, that I can look at and borrow as needed. Hardest part is getting a bunch of system and setting noobs to manage there way through character generation.



And 3-6 months after I start it, I'm going to stop it, and were going to rotate to another system and setting and GM. Depending it will either be a Buffy The Vampire Slayer game that one person wants to run, or it will be a Shadowrun Game, or, possibly, a different game if a 3rd other prospective GM decides they want too rotate in after all (There GMing 2 other long term games ATM, so, there on the fence about doing that here. Understandable and were good either way that goes.)


And each will run for 3-6 months, so it will be 6-1 year before I have to GM again, giving me plenty of time to recharge my batteries.




Too the OP: Some advice to help make life easier on your new GM's.

Look at using Modules of course if you must use D&D. Or, consider, using another system. Mutants and Masterminds 3rd edition base rules have a Free SRD, as does the FATE system. The latter is super easy to figure out once you've played once, or even just watched a couple of live streamed (or records of live streamed, as some are want to post.) games of it online. The former is a bit more rules intensive, but if you set the game in an established universe like DC or Marvel, there are Fan Made resources all over for stating out anyone who matters even a little, and all kinds of other characters that people who are playing might want too try out as well. (Want to be Tracer from Overwatch? Or Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist? Or Luke Skywalker: Jedi Knight? Someone has almost certainly stated that character for the system and posted there build online and a bit of google fu will take you right too it.)


Again, suggest they watch some live streams of the systems to get a feel for how to play and run them.

This way, they can GM, but a lot of the leg work that D&D or other high crunch systems like Shadowrun (Much as I love the settings lore and am interested in learning the mechanics for it.) can be spared this way, letting them get there footing first so to speak.

Think of it as teaching them to ride a bike with Training wheels a helmet and some pads, instead of just putting them on a bike and telling them too figure it out and hoping they don't bust themselves up too badly.

BloodSnake'sCha
2019-02-17, 11:58 AM
My DM taught me how to DM when he needed a break, it wasn't good but he helped me to get better, after the first 4 sessions I was running it alone and everyone had fun.

That was d&d 3.5e

Faily
2019-02-17, 03:59 PM
Could be burnout, and it could also be that you need to change it up a bit. Maybe a different kind of game, or something with less prep?

Personally, I get GM burnouts. But I also feel it's worth it when I see how excited the players at the table are and how much fun they're having. I just know I need breaks between GMing.

I just finished running a play-by-post Star Wars game now, and it was overall a very fun and rewarding experience. Almost all the players were positive and offered constructive feedback at the end, and they overall seemed to have a lot of fun during the game and were pleased with results. But it just takes one player to sour things as a GM, as I had one player that complained about this and that during the game, practically expecting me to read their mind to provide exactly what they wanted or expected. It makes the efforts exhausting and for me makes me reconsider running another game anytime soon. When you invest so much into a game and have spent so much time and effort to create a game-world, it's so discouraging when you get nothing but negativity.

In another scenario, I'm running Red Hand of Doom for a second time in tabletop for a different group. And... I really feel it's draining on me that the group is in a completely different dynamic than I prefer to have, and that I am used to GMing for. The only thing that matters for these people that I prepare is fights, loot, and places to sell/buy stuff. Which is again discouraging when I'm trying to introduce NPCs and plot-points.

Sometimes, it's just a poor match-up of players and GM that can lead to burnout and feeling tired. So all I can do there is recommend speaking with the players to learn what they like in a game and to focus in that direction, so you don't feel like you're sinking hours into preparing stuff that they have no interest in.

BWR
2019-02-17, 04:17 PM
In another scenario, I'm running Red Hand of Doom for a second time in tabletop for a different group. And... I really feel it's draining on me that the group is in a completely different dynamic than I prefer to have, and that I am used to GMing for. The only thing that matters for these people that I prepare is fights, loot, and places to sell/buy stuff. Which is again discouraging when I'm trying to introduce NPCs and plot-points.


Part of this is playstyle preference, most of it is that we get maybe one game every 3 or 4 months and have been like this for years. You don't remember a lot of your character's personality, let alone any other PC and certainly not NPCs with that sort of a gap between sessions.

Jay R
2019-02-17, 06:25 PM
First of all, given that I enjoy preparing the adventures and inventing the world, they don't get as much enjoyment out of it as I do. There's no way that they can get as much enjoyment out of a six hour session as I get out of twenty hours of creation. But that's a side issue

The main issue is the comparison of relative levels of enjoyment. Basing your decision on relative levels of enjoyment leads to the ludicrous conclusion that if suddenly they all started getting twice as much enjoyment out of your game, it would be less worth doing -- since you would be getting relatively less that way.

Relative levels of enjoyment are irrelevant. The only thing that matters is the absolute level of enjoyment you get. If the enjoyment you get is worth the time, then keep doing it. If it isn't worth the time, then don't keep doing it.