Party Conflict

[Mandarin]

Alright so I am changing the names and races because I know some guys read these forums.

Basically, I am playing a character that is unusual. He doesn't believe in hurting animals because he thinks the animals are his "people". Not Atypical druid trope but he does get a little preachy at meal times... sometimes whimpering in the corner in a ball of sadness when the roasted veal comes out.


Well, one character in the group's backstory is that he doesn't trust other races "Lizardfolk", everyone else is dwarven except me. So this lizard guy, let's call him Chuck... keeps treating my character like trash, shooting me randomly, threatening to kill me, and making sure I get hit by his AOE, but treating everyone else with respect. I asked in character why and he said I was annoying.

Now... my character has kept it in game so far and done everything from beg, to talk it out, to witty humor.. hell just about everything in my arsenal outside of hit back... .because I don't want this group to devolve into us fighting each other... in fact I want a party that supports each other and grows. I am fine with characters getting annoyed with each other and talking trash/non combat stuff, but when it starts effecting combat situations, or outright harming each other.. that crosses the line for me.

So what do I do... after this last fight, which ended with Chuck doing an AOE simply to hurt me next to the BBG, I was planning on having an in-character argument with Chuck because my guy would be PISSED... not only was my guy trying to save Chucks life in the hopes to end this petty conflict.. and instead of resonating with that he just tried to kill me again.

Or do I talk to the DM at this point, or talk to Chuck separately? Or get over it, this is DnD kid not a daycare center?

[JNAProductions]

Talk to the other player OOC. It might be a good idea to have the DM present, but this is clearly an OOC problem.

I've had IC conflict with another player's character. We were both Rogues, and his character was a Tiefling who was a FIRM believer in evil, whereas I was a pretty good guy. We had some arguments, IC, over morality and ethics and whatnot.

But it never extended to OOC, and it never impacted the ability to work together. In a fight, it was time to put differences aside and go stab the enemy.

Your character, as it stands now, has a very good reason to leave the party and never come back. They're already risking their life for these people, so when one of them ATTACKS YOU, even indirectly... Hell no.

[Unoriginal]

Wait, the guy tried to kill your character by shooting at him? Openly, or did he try to be discreet?

[Mandarin]

Wait, the guy tried to kill your character by shooting at him? Openly, or did he try to be discreet?

Openly, the dm handwaived it to not hit me which I appreciated and so did not react other than some words. Like I said I have been trying to keep this from developing into a fight among pc's but I am running out of options.

[MoiMagnus]

If you have a problem with the player, talk to the player, not to the character.
If your character has a problem with another character, talking to the player OOC beforehand is also recommended, to make sure you settle this conflict in a way that look fair to both player (you don't want the character's conflict to become a player's conflict).

Talking to your DM may be a good idea too, particularly if you don't fear that you won't manage to settle this problem alone (for example, due to social anxiety)

[sophontteks]

He's actively shooting you? This is an OOC problem, your characters can't play together if he's going to be this hostile. He's not playing a character so much as bullying you, the player.

[Samayu]

...but treating everyone else with respect. I asked in character why and he said I was annoying.


Do you feel this guy finds you annoying (maybe the way you chose to play your character), and is taking it out on your character? Or did he just decided it would be fun to have this interpersonal conflict? If you or he changed characters, how likely would it be that he continued to treat your character badly?

[Mandarin]

Do you feel this guy finds you annoying (maybe the way you chose to play your character), and is taking it out on your character? Or did he just decided it would be fun to have this interpersonal conflict? If you or he changed characters, how likely would it be that he continued to treat your character badly?


Great questions.

I honestly think he finds my character annoying. If I changed characters it might fix it.... to be honest my character has a very high pitched voice... but that is because he is tiny.... I could cut back on that but am not convinced I should have to.

I don't think he decided it would be fun to have a interpersonal conflict to drive character progression or anything.. I actually love doing that.

I do not have any problem calling him out on it OOC but have not done it yet because I always try to keep character stuff in character.... but after this last session it seemed he was crossing the line... especially now that he is using his AOE to hit me as well (I was the tank) but when another character got into melee he stopped... clearly singling me out.

[JNAProductions]

Yeah, this sounds like an OOC issue.

I can understand a high-pitched voice getting annoying, but the other player's response is immature. If they have an issue, they should say "Hey, can you cut it out with the voice? It's kinda grating," instead of ATTEMPTED IC MURDER!

[Keravath]

I think you need to resolve whether

1) It is a character vs character conflict ... the other players statement "he is annoying" doesn't cut it. The characters are working together in a party to do something as a group. If the character doesn't like your character due to role play reasons then he would normally need a MUCH better reason than "annoying" to justify actually harming the character.

which ... makes this sound a lot like

2) A player vs player or player vs character conflict. In this case, the player (and not his character) either doesn't like you personally or the character you are playing. "Annoying" makes more sense in this context ... but this requires a talk with the other player with the DM present.

Finally, not matter which situation is occurring, you will need to have a talk with the other player, the DM and possibly the entire table. Get them to decide what sort of game you are playing ... are the characters working together or not? What types of inter-character behaviour are acceptable? Can characters steal from each other? Attack each other? Poison each other? Damage each other? Refuse to take actions to help each other? Refuse healing? Can your character go to an apothecary, obtain a deadly poison, tell the DM you slip it into the other characters canteen while they are asleep and you are on watch ... wait until the morning and watch the other character keel over. How about putting a poisonous snake or spider into their bedroll?

Basically, inter-party conflict on this scale is usually the end of the party and sometimes the campaign ... usually because they get to that state not due to character vs character issues but player issues.

Anyway, the only way to resolve an issue like this whether it is character vs character or player vs player is to talk about the situation and sort it out so everyone can have a good time.

[furby076]

I have 1 rule and 1 rule only: no PVP. This includes fighting, sabotaging, stealing, etc.

1) it causes player conflicts
2) why would a pc run around with people he cant trust to save his life? Think about it, you and a few people are running around risking your life to do mission (army squadron). One of your squadmates constantly does thing to harm 1 or more members of the squad (throws grenades to close to them, steals their supplies, gets them in trouble with the CO); so, what are the chances they don't request to have him removed from the squad or makes sure the "enemy" kills him off? Now, imagine you are in the dark ages.

So, if this guy is attacking you.
1) talk to player and tell him he is bothering you. Any nonsense like "i am just RPing my character" is BS. Call that out. Do the talking between you, him and DM (not other players)
2) if he doesn't stop, tell them DM. If the DM doesn't want to get involved then tell the DM you will kill his PC when you next have a chance. Then do it. Then quit the group

[CTurbo]

The DM should have intervened by now, but you should absolutely talk to the player as well as the DM outside of playing about how you feel about it.

If it's bothering you, it needs to stop. If neither the DM nor player is willing to put a stop to it, I would either stop playing completely or just go full on assault on the character in game and try to kill him, then if YOUR character dies trying, the character I built next would be specifically built to kill that guy's character lol

But seriously I don't recommend the second option. That's just me being a spiteful a$$hole hahaha because I'm not going to let some jerk ruin my fun.


Seriously always talk openly to the DM and players about this kind of stuff.

[MThurston]

Alright so I am changing the names and races because I know some guys read these forums.

Basically, I am playing a character that is unusual. He doesn't believe in hurting animals because he thinks the animals are his "people". Not Atypical druid trope but he does get a little preachy at meal times... sometimes whimpering in the corner in a ball of sadness when the roasted veal comes out.


Well, one character in the group's backstory is that he doesn't trust other races "Lizardfolk", everyone else is dwarven except me. So this lizard guy, let's call him Chuck... keeps treating my character like trash, shooting me randomly, threatening to kill me, and making sure I get hit by his AOE, but treating everyone else with respect. I asked in character why and he said I was annoying.

Now... my character has kept it in game so far and done everything from beg, to talk it out, to witty humor.. hell just about everything in my arsenal outside of hit back... .because I don't want this group to devolve into us fighting each other... in fact I want a party that supports each other and grows. I am fine with characters getting annoyed with each other and talking trash/non combat stuff, but when it starts effecting combat situations, or outright harming each other.. that crosses the line for me.

So what do I do... after this last fight, which ended with Chuck doing an AOE simply to hurt me next to the BBG, I was planning on having an in-character argument with Chuck because my guy would be PISSED... not only was my guy trying to save Chucks life in the hopes to end this petty conflict.. and instead of resonating with that he just tried to kill me again.

Or do I talk to the DM at this point, or talk to Chuck separately? Or get over it, this is DnD kid not a daycare center?

If your group isn't telling him to stop then I would leave the group.

I don't know why, as adults, we don't want kids to be bullies but we allow it in our role playing groups.

Says a good amount about people.

Another thing you can do is next time his character drops to 0 HPs. Walk up and attack him with a main weapon and bonus action attack.

His character will be dead.

Then the group looks at you say, "He has been attacking me for months and you all just let it happen." "He wasn't a team player anyway."

Then if his next character attacks you just slide your seat back and wish all of them happy gaming.

[MThurston]

Did you talk with anyone?

[KorvinStarmast]

Well, one character in the group's backstory is that he doesn't trust other races "Lizardfolk", everyone else is dwarven except me. So this lizard guy, let's call him Chuck... keeps treating my character like trash, shooting me randomly, threatening to kill me, and making sure I get hit by his AOE, but treating everyone else with respect. I asked in character why and he said I was annoying. So you know the problem. This other player perceives what you are doing as a version of My Guy Syndrome, which it may or may not be. (As I don't play at your table, I've no idea how this comes off).

OOC, you two need to make peace with each other. I'd also solicit the input from other members of the group: do they also find your character annoying? Get their input.

M THurston's point about "maybe this group and you are going in different directions" will come up as the root cause during the discussion with the whole group. (It can happen).

[guachi]

If it were me, I'd just leave the game. I know others say to talk to the other player but I've got better things to do with my time than hope someone stops being a **** in a game I'm playing.

When I DM I have a rule that anything intraparty must have the consent of all involved and the participants can resolve it any way they choose. If one party doesn't wish for a thing to happen it just doesn't. PC A attacks PC B? If the player of PC B doesn't wish it to happen he just has to say, "no", and it doesn't happen.

As a DM, I'm not going to adjudicate someone griefing other players at my table.

[Mandarin]

Follow up:

I am leaving the group. I haven't had a chance to speak with the DM personally yet and don't want to just send a message (This is on Roll20) but I might end up doing that so he has time to find another player.

Honestly, I am 34 and am getting too old to deal with rude people.

You know, this character was at my old table the funniest little character ever, and since I am leaving I can give more details.

His race was reskinned from a halfling to a vegepygmy (Plant). Possible annoying things:

His voice was high pitched and he collects poop into a little wagon that he makes into fertilizer and eats. At long rests I would typically set up an out house of sorts that went into my little wagon. In my last campaigb this was everyones favorite character and they would frequently help me with "my garden" and I would grow poisonous plants for them, sneak through sewer pipes... it was the comedic relief of the party and they all still say to this day that they miss him. It really did catch me off guard to be recieved like I was.

This character always supported the team, handed out goodberries at the start of the day, would tank bad guys and help in every way possible. Anyways, sometimes people don't mix I guess.

[MThurston]

Follow up:

I am leaving the group. I haven't had a chance to speak with the DM personally yet and don't want to just send a message (This is on Roll20) but I might end up doing that so he has time to find another player.

Honestly, I am 34 and am getting too old to deal with rude people.

You know, this character was at my old table the funniest little character ever, and since I am leaving I can give more details.

His race was reskinned from a halfling to a vegepygmy (Plant). Possible annoying things:

His voice was high pitched and he collects poop into a little wagon that he makes into fertilizer and eats. At long rests I would typically set up an out house of sorts that went into my little wagon. In my last campaigb this was everyones favorite character and they would frequently help me with "my garden" and I would grow poisonous plants for them, sneak through sewer pipes... it was the comedic relief of the party and they all still say to this day that they miss him. It really did catch me off guard to be recieved like I was.

This character always supported the team, handed out goodberries at the start of the day, would tank bad guys and help in every way possible. Anyways, sometimes people don't mix I guess.

So you played a plant person that had to eat poop to survive?

I would be a little disturbed by this.

As a party member I wouldn't want my reputation tied to a wagon that people poop in.

" Oh look, here comes the poop patrol! "

To be honest, if it was me as a player I would ask you to play a different race. If you decided to continue playing and traveling with the poop wagon, I would leave the game.

I tend not to play in comical games. Unless it's Toon. Then I wouldn't care at all.

[Mandarin]

So you played a plant person that had to eat poop to survive?

I would be a little disturbed by this.

As a party member I wouldn't want my reputation tied to a wagon that people poop in.

" Oh look, here comes the poop patrol! "

To be honest, if it was me as a player I would ask you to play a different race. If you decided to continue playing and traveling with the poop wagon, I would leave the game.

I tend not to play in comical games. Unless it's Toon. Then I wouldn't care at all.

You know, I appreciate that feedback and honestly had never considered that RP wise you can still hide behind the "Well this is what my character would do" crap even while supporting the party in every other way. I had assumed that everyone would appreciate the humor of it and had not really considered that perhaps there are people that don't want slapstick comedy in their campaign. I had always assumed that downtime was a time for funnies.

That does open my eyes to a different type of player and one I think I will have to learn to avoid since a lot of my enjoyment of the game revolves around party antics during downtime.

[Missing]

You know, I appreciate that feedback and honestly had never considered that RP wise you can still hide behind the "Well this is what my character would do" crap even while supporting the party in every other way. I had assumed that everyone would appreciate the humor of it and had not really considered that perhaps there are people that don't want slapstick comedy in their campaign. I had always assumed that downtime was a time for funnies.

That does open my eyes to a different type of player and one I think I will have to learn to avoid since a lot of my enjoyment of the game revolves around party antics during downtime.

I think its really big of you to use this opportunity to grow as a player and reflect on your play-style BUT the other player was still a massive jerk. If he had a problem with your characters actions/roleplay/personality or whatever he should have just said.

"I think its gross that your character eats poop" or something like that and not periodically attack / "happen" to catch you in AoEs

At the end of the day I think you're doing the right thing in leaving the group, no gaming is better than bad/toxic gaming. Make tell the DM EXACTLY why you're leaving sounds like the player might need watching. Hope you find a more accepting group.

[Malifice]

Toxic player and weak DM that doesnt curb stomp his toxic behaviour.

Leave the game. Its beyond repair.

[MThurston]

You know, I appreciate that feedback and honestly had never considered that RP wise you can still hide behind the "Well this is what my character would do" crap even while supporting the party in every other way. I had assumed that everyone would appreciate the humor of it and had not really considered that perhaps there are people that don't want slapstick comedy in their campaign. I had always assumed that downtime was a time for funnies.

That does open my eyes to a different type of player and one I think I will have to learn to avoid since a lot of my enjoyment of the game revolves around party antics during downtime.

I would have to disagree with your statement.

1. Depending on what kind of game you are playing, humor can be great. Most of the games I play in are goal driven. Most of my characters are trying to build a rep for themselves. So down time with my Knight would not be doing silly things.

My rogue on the other hand would live to have fun at down time.

But neither of then would travel with a wagon with a outhouse on it.

2. Looking at the group. Some groups might want a silly game and others may not. So maybe in the next game ask what level of silliness is ok for the group.

3. Even if personalities are not mixing, it is never ok to attack party members. I dont even like charmed party members attacking the party.

I have seen friends attack their buddy and not stop attacking after they went down. The response is, my character knows he can get back up with a healing spell.

Never good.

Good luck in your search for a super funny downtime game.

[Mercurias]

Having read the thread through, I first would like to wish the OP luck on finding a new table. It sounds like the mix wasn't good, and if you don't want to stay with them then moving on is the smartest move possible. Good on you.

[Sigreid]

I've not read all the responses but I'm going against the grain of what I did read. I think you're character is the problem. Sounds like he gets along with everyone else and you created a character designed to annoy. Frankly, if I were playing with you with you using the character you described, I'd abandon him in the most hostile wilderness i could find.

[MThurston]

I've not read all the responses but I'm going against the grain of what I did read. I think you're character is the problem. Sounds like he gets along with everyone else and you created a character designed to annoy. Frankly, if I were playing with you with you using the character you described, I'd abandon him in the most hostile wilderness i could find.

I once played a Knight in a group and for some reason we had one guy that would always play something that went against what the party was doing.

So in this game he played a Necromancer. He would either buy a horse and kill it, or find a dead horse and animate it.

I can't tell you how many times we would tell him not to do it. "Look, the town people will be scared of the group if you ride that into town."

He would ride into town and I would stay back, not wanting to be seen with him. Then I would go into town, find his horse and kill it.

It was very annoying to have someone play, that was trying to destroy what the rest of the group was doing.

I however never attacked his character. That is the only issue I have in this post. The other player should have talked to him and said, this isn't working for me. I can't see my character travelling with yours

[JNAProductions]

I've not read all the responses but I'm going against the grain of what I did read. I think you're character is the problem. Sounds like he gets along with everyone else and you created a character designed to annoy. Frankly, if I were playing with you with you using the character you described, I'd abandon him in the most hostile wilderness i could find.

And that's an immature response. If someone else in your party has an annoying character, the appropriate response is to talk to the PLAYER, OOC, and tell them your issue. Try to work out a resolution, don't just initiate PvP.

[Genoin]

I would say that I think leaving the group is probably for the best.

I definitely think this guy went way over the line, and even if your character was annoying, it should have been handled much differently.

That being said, while I'm certainly not saying that how you play is wrong, I don't think this will be the last group you have that is turned off by a character that is this level of silly. Many games are about nothing less than literally saving (at least a large part of) the world from some terrible evil. A lot of players will want to treat the game more seriously than a tiny plant character that collects poop, preaches about animals, and is reduced to the fetal position when cooked meat comes into play.

I myself have had similar problems to some degree with my regular group. We swap DM roles, but whether she is a player or DM she tends to get bored with serious stuff and will do random things like decide her character wants to start a brothel, or (when DMing) give players things like Kraken pets or OP magical items that destabilize any semblance of balance in the games.

[Mandarin]

Thanks again for the input, even the harsher criticisms.

I have been DMing and playing for 3 years at a lot of different style tables. I have always prided myself on reading people and getting along famously with my tablemates. This character in particular had been a big hit before, and I had erroneously assumed "well of course they will love him, they always love him".. probably some issues with pride there I am still working on as an individual.

This actually has been a big lesson for me. This is easily my silliest character. To clarify the poop wagon.. think like a miniature red wagon... the guy is 2.5 feet tall and he draws it by hand... so the size of a chihuahua... and it is mixed with soil and old food. (Compost) The parties reputation has never been hurt by it and if it started negatively impacting the party, I would have switched to just putting it all in my backpack (And nothing else).

My character did have some strong views on things which is I think where I am learning these lessons the most and looking back at this character to adjust some personality traits. Maybe instead of viewing (It wasn't animals but vegetables he considered precious) potatoes as children and getting wrecked with emotion when he saw them eaten, or diced, or held againt their will while their little eyes looked out with desperation and hope..... well I can pull that back a bit to simply say he doesnt eat vegetables. I guess it was also wrong that I secretly messaged the DM (after one particular nasty character went out of his way to mutilate those poor babiy taters ) and told him that the only way I can produce goodberries is through my own excrement.. I am a plant afterall... and fed them to the party for the last week of the campaign, they still do not know. To be fair the DM thought I was the best thing since sliced bread.

But I do see the error of my ways and will adjust my characters personality to not be so grating. I do like having fun at the table but would never want that fun to take away from anyone elses... and that is where I missed the mark this time.

I still think the other player was unnecessarily being a jerk, but someone else being a jerk doesn't diminish my capacity to see where I was wrong and grow from it.

[Sigreid]

And that's an immature response. If someone else in your party has an annoying character, the appropriate response is to talk to the PLAYER, OOC, and tell them your issue. Try to work out a resolution, don't just initiate PvP.

I didn't say pvp, I said leave.

[JNAProductions]

I've not read all the responses but I'm going against the grain of what I did read. I think you're character is the problem. Sounds like he gets along with everyone else and you created a character designed to annoy. Frankly, if I were playing with you with you using the character you described, I'd abandon him in the most hostile wilderness i could find.

This is your quote.

I would consider intentionally leaving someone to die to be PvP.

[Sigreid]

This is your quote.

I would consider intentionally leaving someone to die to be PvP.

Well, I'd be making my choice to leave. I have and dont want control over any party member. I would not be playing with that character as described for more than one session.

[monkey3]

http://www.giantitp.com/articles/tll307KmEm4H9k6efFP.html

This awesome link was put in another thread I read today. Send it to your group to read.