Spells Abridged: A-B-R-I...

[dragoeniex]

Awaken: And now the bard really is dumber than a post.

Call Lightning: It misses you.

Cloudkill: Shockingly ineffective at killing clouds.

Counterspell: OBJECTION!

Death Ward: 20th Level Larry's Sunscreen, SPF Power Word Kill.

False Life: but True Resurrection.

Friends: You'll never regret this decision if you just think about it a minute.

Grease: Years of arcane studies... and you learned how to cast butter.

Infernal Calling: Don't answer.

Maddening Darkness: The warlock left her relaxation tape on again.

Maze: Cleanup mooks while you force their boss to solve the back of a cereal box.

Pass Without a Trace: Getting by with your roguish charm.

Protection from Energy: Gain resistance to damage from elements and morning people.

Reverse Gravity: Rocks float, everyone flies.

Scatter: Avengers, disassemble!

Skywrite: The pantheon's post-it note.

Thaumaturgy: It's not a phase, All-Father!

Weird: Could've sworn we had another ninth level spell lying around somewhere...

[Luccan]

Spare the Dying: When you can't bowl a True Strike

[DarkKnightJin]

Bless: When they just can't. Stop. Sneezing.

[hymer]

Conjure Elemental: Say hello to my little friend.

Disintegrate: Dust to dust.

Dominate Beast: This is my t-rex. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Find Traps: So close and yet so far.

Finger of Death: You may be a king or a li'l street sweeper, but sooner or later you'll dance with the reaper.

Fireball: Orc prevention device.

Goodberry: Getting back on your feet one toe at a time.

Healing Word: "Surgery".

Heat Metal: And you thought it was just a silly taboo.

Hold Person: Lancashire hotpot. No, no: Irish stew!

Invisibility: Making yourself scarce since '74.

Leomund's Tiny Hut: Any hut in a storm.

Locate Object: Purse, keys, glasses. Especially glasses.

Longstrider: I don't have to outrun the troll, just you.

Power Word Kill: When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Raise Dead: Encore! Encore!

Shillelagh: No, that's not how you pronounce it.

Silence: The proverbial tall glass of shut-up juice.

Sleet Storm: Only you can prevent burning orphanages.

Thorn Whip: I said, come here!

Wrath of Nature: Get off my lawn.

[Son of A Lich!]

Healing Word: "Surgery".


Barbarian: My Cleric comes in a little glass vial...

Party: A Little Glass Vial?

Barbarian: A little Glass vial, which goes down the back of the throat of the bard with healing energy

"Energy"

Barbarian: Then the bard drinks up and the bard gets up and the bard is ready for "Surgery".

Bard: Surgery!

[Gryndle]

Barbarian: My Cleric comes in a little glass vial...

Party: A Little Glass Vial?

Barbarian: A little Glass vial, which goes down the back of the throat of the bard with healing energy

"Energy"

Barbarian: Then the bard drinks up and the bard gets up and the bard is ready for "Surgery".

Bard: Surgery!

pure awesome. this forum really needs a "like" button

[KorvinStarmast]

Hold Person: the sailor inside the ship who inspects the internally stowed cargo.

[Pex]

Holy Sword: Oh, so that's what Paladins call it.

[RogueJK]

Shocking Grasp: Stranger Danger! Bad Touch!

Shield: [Marv Albert] Re-jected! [/Marv Albert]

Expeditious Retreat: Brave, brave Sir Robin ran away.

[Rerem115]

Summon Woodland Beings: At -will power of Disney princesses.

Animate Objects: Yondu's arrow, or dagger/s..or pocket change...or furniture

Vicious Mockery: Adding injury to insult.

Eldritch Blast: Fingerlasers! A modern man's Magic Missile.

Magic Missile: I wanna cast a spell.

[DarkKnightJin]

Shocking Grasp: Stranger Danger! Bad Touch!

Shield: [Marv Albert] Re-jected! [/Marv Albert]

Expeditious Retreat: Brave, brave Sir Robin ran away.

Inflict Wounds: The *real* Bad Touch attack.

Vampiric Touch: Because Inflict Wounds doesn't last long enough.

[KorvinStarmast]

Barkskin: cousin of bark

Acid Splash: just a drop on a sugar cube
Alarm: appendage referred to in the Alhambra
Antipathy: Uncle Pathy's wife
Astral Projection: movie stars on the screen
Awaken: what we were doin' after a-buryin' O'Leary

Banishment: remove after dinner candies
Beast Bond: James was a furry
Bestow Curse: hangnail on a werewolf

Color Spray: Sounds chant
Confusion: *ahem* marriage in prison

[bc56]

Cone of Cold: Like Fireball, but bigger, triangular, and backwards.

Flaming Sphere: An actual ball made of fire.

Insect Plague: The 8th one.

Lesser Restoration: Not great enough.

Lightning Arrow: Because rangers don't use hammers.

Power Word Kill: When I tell you to die, you die.

Symbol: It hurts me just to look at it.

Web: Spiderman, Spiderman...

Zone of Truth: The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Wish: The DM is a genie. Beware.

Tasha's Hideous Laughter: That cat video was too funny.

Contact Other Plane: Why are you asking those guys for advice?

[Imbalance]

Booming Blade: dynastic terrifyer
Leomund's Secret Chest: clandestine cleavage
Message: whispers of the era of untidiness
Teleportation Circle: pi into the sky

[RogueJK]

Shield of Faith: De-fense *clap clap* De-fense *clap clap*

Mage Armor: When a robe or chainmail bikini alone just won't cut it.

Spirit Guardians: We've got spirits, yes we do... We've got spirits, and they're pissed at you!

Spider Climb: The itsy-bitsy wizard went up the water spout

[hymer]

Banishment: Beat It

Beast Sense: Walk on the Wild Side

Bestow Curse: Sabotage

Bless: Like A Prayer

Calm Emotions: Let It Be

Charm Person: What’s Love Got to Do With It

Clone: Stayin’ Alive

Command: Stand!

Conjure Animals: Leader of the Pack

Conjure Elementals. With a Little Help From My Friends

Conjure Woodland Beings: Tired of Being Alone

Contingency: Paranoid

Control Weather: Who’ll Stop the Rain

Create Water: Rain

Darkness: Ain’t No Sunshine

Dimension Door: We Gotta Get Out of This Place

Disguise Self: The Great Pretender

Dominate Person: I Can’t Make You Love Me

Dream: Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Druid Grove: Welcome to the Jungle

Earthquake: We Will Rock You

Enhance Ability: Beast of Burden

Fabricate: Money That’s What I Want

Feather Fall: Free Fallin’

Feeblemind: Ramble On

Goodberry: Juicy

Greater Restoration: I Will Survive

Guiding Bolt: I Shot the Sheriff

Heal: I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better

Heroism: Got My Mojo Working

Hallucinatory Terrain: Fake Plastic Trees

Healing Word: Get Up, Stand Up

Levitate: Higher and Higher

Locate Object: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Longstrider: Born to Run

Meteror Swarm: Great Balls of Fire

Moonbeam: Bad Moon Rising

Phantasmal Force: Just My Imagination

Polymorph: I Wanna Be Your Dog

Power Word Kill: Killing Me Softly With His Song

Produce Flame: Light My Fire

Raise Dead: Don’t Fear the Reaper

Regeneration: Piece of My Heart

Reverse Gravity: You Keep Me Hanging On

Revivify: One More Time

Scrying: Every Breath You Take

Sending: Wish You Were Here

Sequester: She’s Not There

Silent Image: Pictures of You

Sleep: Enter Sandman

Suggestion: Hit the Road, Jack

Telekinesis: Push It

Teleport: I’ll Take You There

Tongues: Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

Wall of Fire: Ring of Fire

Wall of Force: Nowhere to Run

Wall of Stone: Another Brick in the Wall

Water Walk: Many Rivers to Cross

Weird: Something

Zone of Truth: Suspicious Minds

[Vingelot]

Mage Hand: Comes in very handy

Bigby's Hand: For when you REALLY need a hand

[Crgaston]

Banishment: Beat It

Beast Sense: Walk on the Wild Side

Bestow Curse: Sabotage

Bless: Like A Prayer

Calm Emotions: Let It Be

Charm Person: What’s Love Got to Do With It

Clone: Stayin’ Alive

Command: Stand!

Conjure Animals: Leader of the Pack

Conjure Elementals. With a Little Help From My Friends

Conjure Woodland Beings: Tired of Being Alone

Contingency: Paranoid

Control Weather: Who’ll Stop the Rain

Create Water: Rain

Darkness: Ain’t No Sunshine

Dimension Door: We Gotta Get Out of This Place

Disguise Self: The Great Pretender

Dominate Person: I Can’t Make You Love Me

Dream: Sweet Dreams Are Made of This

Druid Grove: Welcome to the Jungle

Earthquake: We Will Rock You

Enhance Ability: Beast of Burden

Fabricate: Money That’s What I Want

Feather Fall: Free Fallin’

Feeblemind: Ramble On

Goodberry: Juicy

Greater Restoration: I Will Survive

Guiding Bolt: I Shot the Sheriff

Heal: I’ll Feel a Whole Lot Better

Heroism: Got My Mojo Working

Hallucinatory Terrain: Fake Plastic Trees

Healing Word: Get Up, Stand Up

Levitate: Higher and Higher

Locate Object: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Longstrider: Born to Run

Meteror Swarm: Great Balls of Fire

Moonbeam: Bad Moon Rising

Phantasmal Force: Just My Imagination

Polymorph: I Wanna Be Your Dog

Power Word Kill: Killing Me Softly With His Song

Produce Flame: Light My Fire

Raise Dead: Don’t Fear the Reaper

Regeneration: Piece of My Heart

Reverse Gravity: You Keep Me Hanging On

Revivify: One More Time

Scrying: Every Breath You Take

Sending: Wish You Were Here

Sequester: She’s Not There

Silent Image: Pictures of You

Sleep: Enter Sandman

Suggestion: Hit the Road, Jack

Telekinesis: Push It

Teleport: I’ll Take You There

Tongues: Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

Wall of Fire: Ring of Fire

Wall of Force: Nowhere to Run

Wall of Stone: Another Brick in the Wall

Water Walk: Many Rivers to Cross

Weird: Something

Zone of Truth: Suspicious Minds

Well done!

[Snowbluff]

Sickening Radiance: The friendly green glow!

[DigoDragon]

Wish: Full thinking.

[Pex]

Command: Yes, dear.

[Luccan]

Hunter's Mark: Stop drawing on the walls, Hunter.

[Personification]

Compelled Duel: COME AT ME BRO!
Druidcraft: ��Oh, I love my pretty little flower! Oh, I love my pretty little flower!�� (a quatloo(or whatever fake forum currency) to whoever knows the source).
Modify Memory: Now Commander, that torpedo did NOT self-destruct. You heard it hit the hull, and I was never here.
Cause Fear: We have nothing to fear but fear itself!
Hunger of Hadar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Command: Sudo make me a sandwich.
Sanctuary: I am one with the Force and the Force is with me...

[BigPixie]

Wall of stone, when you want to be Dwayne Johnson 'the Rock':smallbiggrin:

[bc56]

Ceremony:
Love makes the world go round.
And has been known to provide a +2 circumstance bonus to AC.

Guidance:
May the Force be with you

Tenser's Transformation:
HULK SMAASH!

Expeditious Retreat:
Charge backwards!

Hold Person:
Stop right there!

Wall of Force:
Access Denied.

Water Breathing:
Land-based campaigns need not apply.

[Edgerunner]

Druidcraft: ��Oh, I love my pretty little flower! Oh, I love my pretty little flower!�� (a quatloo(or whatever fake forum currency) to whoever knows the source).


Frankenstein, that's Fronkensteen

[Personification]

Frankenstein, that's Fronkensteen

You win! :smallbiggrin:

[Pex]

Magic Missile: When you need to attack the Darkness.

[Son of A Lich!]

Magic Missile: When you need to attack the Darkness.

Create Food and Water: YOU GUYS WANT SOME FUNIONS?

[JoeJ]

Otto's Irresistible Dance: You put your left foot in...

Tasha's Hideous Laughter: Stop me if you've heard this one.

[MaxWilson]

Heat Metal: And you thought it was just a silly taboo.

This is full of win.

[KOLE]

Vicious Mockery: Adding injury to insult.

This is gold. May I sig this?