Bad dnd friends

[miniatureaddict]

Recently a friend started two dnd groups without me
They know how much i love the game and then got attacked my character and killed
when i played with them and the dm helped them !
Not sure what to do know?

[Sigreid]

Maybe he just knows your not compatible with the other groups? I know I have friends that wouldn't get along at all if they met.

[ErHo]

Doesnt sound like much of a friend, and if you were to somehow get past this awkward situation he sounds like the type of guy to do it again later.

Start your own group, sucks to hear but no DnD is better than being abused at the table by people who dont seem to mind picking on someone in a collaborative group.

[DMThac0]

I have four groups running throughout the week, two of which I DM for and one which I play in. I have one player who gets upset if they're not invited into every game we do, another who feels like it's a personal issue if they're not invited into each game. Then you have me, the DM turned player, turned DM who can smell a game if the wind is right. I want to play, I want to help DM, I want to be part of what's happening, it's a hobby that I'm very passionate about.

For me, I don't get upset if I'm not part of the game, if I'm not invited I get it. However, I'm recognized as a seasoned DM and player so I often get called upon to voice an opinion or help if a player has a question.

The other players I mentioned, I've had to deal with a few different times. I didn't invite them into a game for multiple reasons and it varies each time. I don't feel they're a fit for the game I'm planning on playing. I don't think they'll get along with the people in the group I'm running. I am tired of their non-game related drama. The last game they played an edge-lord, angst filled, murder-hobo, that derailed the game and I don't want to deal with that again. I don't have room for another player. They asked me to keep them out due to life reasons. A whole list of reasons for not letting them into a particular game as you can see.

The thing you'll have to do, and it's hard for some people, is to talk to your friend and ask why. Then reflect on what they say without making it something personal or take it as an attack. Maybe it's something you'll have to change, maybe it's something as simple as a full table, maybe it's just that you and they are incompatible as gaming buddies but can hang out doing something other than D&D. You'll never figure it out by telling/asking us...

[miniatureaddict]

Thanks, I think you right and maybe some people are not always friends when they play in an rpg but can be friends in your life

[Keravath]

Thanks, I think you right and maybe some people are not always friends when they play in an rpg but can be friends in your life

Honestly, I would tend to put it more as "maybe some people are not always friends when they play in an rpg but can pretend to be friends in your life"

RPGs are a group social play ground with an emphasis on the social. Sometimes people will tease their friends or maybe role play their characters in a certain way that leads to in game PVP conflicts. As long as everyone buys into this type of game play there aren't any issues.

However, when a player is invited to play a game and the DM and other players intentionally gang up to kill off the character then there is more going on than just in game behavior. This is especially true if the player didn't buy into that kind of game play in the first place.

This sounds a lot more like bullying disguised as D&D and using the game as an excuse than it does anything else.

That said, sometimes life gives you less than ideal friends :)

[zinycor]

Honestly, I would tend to put it more as "maybe some people are not always friends when they play in an rpg but can pretend to be friends in your life"

RPGs are a group social play ground with an emphasis on the social. Sometimes people will tease their friends or maybe role play their characters in a certain way that leads to in game PVP conflicts. As long as everyone buys into this type of game play there aren't any issues.

However, when a player is invited to play a game and the DM and other players intentionally gang up to kill off the character then there is more going on than just in game behavior. This is especially true if the player didn't buy into that kind of game play in the first place.

This sounds a lot more like bullying disguised as D&D and using the game as an excuse than it does anything else.

That said, sometimes life gives you less than ideal friends :)

I mean... we don't really know the circumstances, one instance when something ****ty happened doesn't make it so your friends are fake. Maybe just impulsive or inconsiderate at that moment, or maybe from the other players perspective, this was a reasonable in-character action.

I say, wait to cast judgement on your friends, go to them and explain the situation, and how you felt about it. Hopefully this was just a bad experience and you will all get over it.

[GlenSmash!]

If I'm DMing I limit the number of people because I hate DMing for large groups. Any more than 4 players and it's just so much more difficult for me.

So I don't invite all my friends who play D&D. I invite the ones that make the most sense for that game. And try to make a game for everyone.

[JackPhoenix]

I also started D&D groups that didn't include some of the people I play with for various (most often spacetime-related) reasons.
Perhaps provide more details about the character death? I mean, it would still be only your perspective, but that's better than nothing. It wouldn't be the first time someone came up with "the other players killed my character!" and eventually revealed that the character totally deserved it, or the situation wasn't as simple as the first post claimed.

[miniatureaddict]

I had a flame tongue and agreed to trade it for a alliance then the player attacked me and the dm claimed that I was manipulating the player and had a homebrew owlbear use an undead ray which rendered me to 0 hp then the player attack my prone form and got a critical ending me.

[Pex]

Worst case, it's not about D&D but about how they regard you. They don't want to be your friend anymore and this how they are telling you. It sucks, it hurts, but people do that. Do you still do things together otherwise? If no, are they really friends? If yes, how do they treat you? Are you the butt of jokes? Do you find yourself not involved in conversations? Are you an afterthought? If yes, are they really friends? Maybe it's time to be rid of them for good.

If this is the case you will feel miserable for awhile. You will feel angry. You will eventually get over it and recover. Find a new group. They're out there; meetup.com is a good place to look.

Been there. Long time ago. I got new friends.

[zinycor]

Worst case, it's not about D&D but about how they regard you. They don't want to be your friend anymore and this how they are telling you. It sucks, it hurts, but people do that. Do you still do things together otherwise? If no, are they really friends? If yes, how do they treat you? Are you the butt of jokes? Do you find yourself not involved in conversations? Are you an afterthought? If yes, are they really friends? Maybe it's time to be rid of them for good.

If this is the case you will feel miserable for awhile. You will feel angry. You will eventually get over it and recover. Find a new group. They're out there; meetup.com is a good place to look.

Been there. Long time ago. I got new friends.

Exactly, that's the worst case, doesn't really have to be the actual case.