DnD 3.5/Pathfinder funny moments.

[TheNerfGuy]

Essentially, I'd like to hear moments from your sessions that you found hilarious. Obviously, these include fails, epic fails, ad everything else under the sun. I do wonder, however, if there are other, similar threads as this one. In which case, just consider this one just another one of those.


I'll start things off, and I'll list 3 that's happened so far. These are the only ones that come to mind.

1: We were having a crossover campaign (our group is split in two, and we have two DMs as a result). Our mission: Retrieve a book on making fudge from a powerful sorcerer because our contractor is a Far Realm entity who has more interest in baking than eating humanoids. Anywho, one of the obstacles on our way through this sorcerer's icy realm was a bunch of snow mounds...that concealed feral Gnolls. One of the other group who was with us was a diplomancer who happened to speak Gnoll. My DM did not know that, and she used her diplomancy skills to get us through that encounter without any damage. My DM was expecting the boss Gnoll to have driven my Big Stupid Fighter's face into the ground by the time we got through that area, and the look on his face was priceless.

2: We were in a tower that used to be infested with undead (we wiped out the hostile ones and left the skeletons who were simply cleaning and ignoring us alone). There was a floor with 5 doors and 5 switches that correspond to said door: Crystal, Hide, Iron, Stone, and Clay. We pulled the crystal lever, and a Psion Killer construct came out and attacked us. We got out, and our rogue/illusionist ventured back up there to retrieve an artifact we found and he wound up pulling the clay switch. Cue Clay Golem appearance, and cue grudge match between contructs. Psion Killer won, so he pulled the iron switch and got an Iron Golem in. Iron Golem rofl stomps the Psion Killer, so he pulls the hide and stone switches. The Flesh Golem gets rofl stomped, but the Stone Golem messes up the Iron Golem before going down. when all of this was going down, the rest of us ventured back up and ended up finishing off the Iron Golem with a Comet Fall spell. Our DM was expecting us to spend the time and kill the Golems one by one instead of letting them grudge match each other to death.

3: This one was recent at the time of writing. We were walking through the forests to the side of a mountain when we came across six Forest Giants; four of them wore full-plate masterwork armor and wielded masterwork longswords, and the other two were mining. We failed to stealth our way past them and ended up having to fight when they wanted to eat us. The illusionist cast Major Image and took away their AoOs, so I cast a Split-Ray'd Enervation at one of the miners who was hurling rocks at us (and had made his save). He had been weakened previously, and it ended up killing him. The DM ruled that, since a level drain spell killed him, he would rise as an undead. Our fighter who was accosting the now-undead giant got away, albeit with an AoO in his face. Cue grudge match between living and undead giant, so those two were effectively out of the fight. We watched them duke it out after taking out the armored giants; the living one won, and our pure fighter finished him off while our illusionist tried to interrogate him. Cue laughter from the epic fail.

Anyway, what might your funny moments be?

[unseenmage]

My PF alchemist (whom I was playing more like a tech artificer) in an Iron Gods campaign got access to some GM fiat powered mutagen.

Only affected living things, and when the GM rolled high enough did weird stuff like turn an aberration into solid diamond or add templates to stuff or create an evil twin.

I got the bright idea to show this crazy druid NPC how it worked as an attempt to gain his trust.

I pour a bit on a flower and back away. the druid leans in real close, the GM rolls... and... the mutagen causes the flower to explode in a mini thermonuclear type way.

the party takes some damage andthe druid is vaporized into a rock face except for his jawbone and the, now crispy, broken neuro enhancements that were driving him mad.

the other player, and their character glare daggers at me (not literally, though I'm sure they wanted to) for accident murdering a quest important NPC.
they grudgingly drag the scroll of resurrection outof their bag (tha we'd gotten for the previous quest, worth way more than a party of two could afford) and bring the druid back.

upon being returned to the land of the living the druid looks up, blinks and declares that an awful odd way of.curing his madness but hey, thanks, he got to meet his deity!

[Crow_Nightfeath]

The funniest thing I can remember completely was a campaign that happened like a decade ago, it was my campaign, with my little brother, my friend, and his older brother. They were tasked with dispatching this group of wizards who were in their employer's way. The party climbed the surprisingly empty wizard tower to the top. Our party consisted of a minotaur (can't remember what class, little brother) an elf archer (my friends older brother), and a human fighter (my friend). At the top the party finds a dozen wizards standing in a circle chanting, the party was hiding on the stairs, as the wizards were too busy chanting to notice. The elf, he is the kind of person who buys butt loads of random gear, gets an idea and pulls out a bag of marbles and empties the bag of marbles across the floor. The wizards hearing the marbles rolling stop chanting and look at each other in confusion. The minotaur, gets a brilliant idea and takes the bag from the elf and puts it over his hand, raising his hand up, and asks, "Have you seen my marbles?"

Needless to say the entire group of wizards burst out laughing, the party ended up befriending the group, mainly because the party knew they were working for a nefarious person, but they were being forced to in various ways. They didn't kill the wizards, but they did stop them from messing with their employer's business any further.

[Bobur]

To illustrate how great and famous the grp has become, I created a great festival.
It had a grp of actors reenacting some of their most memorable deeds... though they got the names slightly wrong and took some liberties. ^^
Our minotaur became a human with a black fur coat and a horned helmet and the characters were overstylized version of themselves as well as what they did. Everything described in a very dramatic theatre kind of way. It was a lot of fun.

Once our grp got on a ship and to kill the time one of PCs decided that it was a good idea to steal cheap meat from the kitchen and use it as bait for big fish. (He hoped for a kraken)
The adventure actually had a kraken in store for the ship passage, so it was the perfect moment.
The players really celebrated his success in "summoning" the kraken... the ship and most of the sailors died, and we had to walk the rest of the way, but it was worth it. ^^

The grp tried to solve a situation between a miner company (a fort of sorts) and a close by a tribe of barbarians.
And so the PCs went out to see if they could speak with the tribe, sadly they didn't even speak common, only a really wild tongue, which was the moment where our own barbarian took the leader role for the first time. He was able to talk with them, but had no idea how to go about it. Within minutes he managed to rise the village to arms and take our party with them to kill all the miners....Ever since everybody becomes very nervous once that specific player gets into a position of power. ^^