players wont step up

[Torpin]

ive been dming for this group every monday except for 2 for the last 6 months, we switched to a new game in january, and no one is willing to take a turn DMing, one of my damn players doesnt even know her class, its all frustrating and no fun at this point, you know plus the uninspired time i put into prepping. So im ending it. Should I just message everyone and let them know we are cancelling , if so should i tell them why, or since i already put all the work into it enjoy the how pissy all of them get over a boss fight that will easily be a total party kill.

[Vizzerdrix]

Depends on if you want to retain the group or not. If yes, tell them you are taking a break. If no, then what end brings you most joy?

[frogglesmash]

Have you spoken with your players about any of this? If not, an open and honest discussion about any complaints, or criticisms any of you have should be the first step.

[heavyfuel]

First things first. You started a new game in January, but no one wanted to DM. So... Who's DMing? I presume you are, but it's not clear from the story.

As for the player who doesn't know her class. Tell her to sit down and read the class. D&D isn't free form RPG, in fact, it's pretty much the opposite of it. There are a bunch of rules and you need to learn at least a few of them in order to play the game. If a person is unwilling to learn a rule set to play a game, D&D is not for them.

What about the other players? What are their problems? You say it's frustrating, but why?

Whatever you do, don't end on such a bitter note. Any DM can say "rocks fall, everyone dies". You can put a great wyrm red dragon to fight a party of level 5 characters and kill them all. This doesn't make you a good or even decent DM, it just shows how salty you are.

[Torpin]

Have you spoken with your players about any of this? If not, an open and honest discussion about any complaints, or criticisms any of you have should be the first step.

since beginning of last month ive brought this up at least 3 times at the table. and over text to a few over the players.


As for the player who doesn't know her class. Tell her to sit down and read the class. D&D isn't free form RPG, in fact, it's pretty much the opposite of it. There are a bunch of rules and you need to learn at least a few of them in order to play the game. If a person is unwilling to learn a rule set to play a game, D&D is not for them.

What about the other players? What are their problems? You say it's frustrating, but why?

ive told her several times she needs to do that and she just doesn't.
they are just whiners, and just pissy whenever anything goes against them.

[The Kool]

Well, don't be spiteful and go out in a TPK. That'll just earn you a world of hate. Better to contact them all and let them know that it isn't working out, and the group doesn't fit. Bid them best of luck finding another DM, and start looking for a group of players that will suit your table better. And if you don't want to be the DM, then don't burden yourself with it and pester other players to take over. Find someone who is happy to run from the start.

[zlefin]

ive been dming for this group every monday except for 2 for the last 6 months, we switched to a new game in january, and no one is willing to take a turn DMing, one of my damn players doesnt even know her class, its all frustrating and no fun at this point, you know plus the uninspired time i put into prepping. So im ending it. Should I just message everyone and let them know we are cancelling , if so should i tell them why, or since i already put all the work into it enjoy the how pissy all of them get over a boss fight that will easily be a total party kill.

you should message everyone and let them know it's being cancelled and why. most people are oblivious idiots, and won't know there's a problem unless you tell them.

it's important to be nice: it gives you the moral high ground to feel superior. if you go out mean and spiteful you lose that moral high ground.

[Albions_Angel]

Are you me?

Im having a super hard time getting players at the moment. Group of close friends who love D&D dont enjoy 3.5e, and after much trying (about 12 games, playing and DMing) I dont enjoy 5th. We might get on in another system, but...

Local gaming group I contacted produced a couple of dedicated players, and some very new people. The dedicated players were ok, but again, wernt used to 3.5e and didnt want to learn. The very new people... refused to look anything up outside of the session, or learn their classes, or listen to advice. It was... painful. In the advert I put up, I said no alcohol, we discussed no alcohol in session 0, session 1 saw 3 drunk players out of 5. Session 2 was worse. I then got a text saying that two of the players got into an argument after the session and wouldnt be returning, so that gave me an excuse to end the game.

Friends who didnt yet play D&D wanted a game tone I am not comparable with. Nothing wrong with what they wanted, just wasnt fun for me. I so rarely get to play, that when I do, the game has to be the focus, and it has to be a serious game. I like the pace of the games to be ever flowing. I dont need a lot of role play though, just some focus on what I am saying, with OOC comments being either game related, or quiet and between a couple of people so it doesnt interrupt. They wanted the opposite. I dragged myself through DMing 2 sessions, where we accomplished half a fight with 5 players and 2 cr 1/4 enemies, and the snacks people brought were placed in the middle of the battle mat, and someone destroyed 300 paper minis by spilling their 2L coke bottle on them. Turns out, they wanted to meet up and chill, and they liked the idea of D&D, but actually wanted to play cards against humanity.

I am now attempting to build a very small group of invite only friends who have a similar mindset to me, but its difficult because they already have games with other groups that they have had for years. So far, I am up to 3 people, and it looks like we will be able to play once every 2 months...

Ive given up hoping I will ever be a player in a live 3.5e game again. I will forever be a DM of 1 shots I inevitably dont enjoy, only to then be badgered by the same people who made it not fun for me about when I will run for them again. Im not brave enough to say "Look, our play styles arnt compatible. You might have had fun, but thats because you didnt play D&D. I played D&D while you joked about the Icelandic place names I spent hours creating, and then made sword/**** jokes for the rest of the session. I, meanwhile, spent 4 hours drawing maps on the mat, and moving all the figures around for everyone, and casting everyones spells against my own monsters, because you didnt know what was on the piece of paper in front of you. Thats not fun for me. Sorry, but you want a card night, not a D&D game."

Dont be like me. Be brave. Tell them that some of them match your style, and after a break, you would like to continue with a more rules-heavy game. Others might enjoy something else. Say you can all still meet up for pizza and Catan, but D&D is a little too intense for the current group dynamic. If they accept that, fantastic. If they dont, well, you were ending it anyway, right? Dont be passive like me.

[denthor]

Sit them down tell them that you are not having fun.

Each player should know why. Do this in person and separate of everyone else. If you choose to end.

Remember not every one is suited to run a game.

I am a fair player but every game I have tried to run has been a boring game night. I do not need description when I play so I forget it when I run the game.

You could just get the player that does not know her character to go over the book with you. Maybe she does not like to read and it is overwhelming for her. That could be a game night all in itself.

[Torpin]

i sent each one the same message individually, 3 out of 4 understood, one threw a hissy fit. no gaming is better than bad gaming

[The Kool]

i sent each one the same message individually, 3 out of 4 understood, one threw a hissy fit. no gaming is better than bad gaming

Truth. Take some time off, come back with a fresh mind, find some new players. Those that understood are actually legitimate options for a future group, if you understand why you guys didn't mesh and know how to overcome that issue.

[ksbsnowowl]

ive told her several times she needs to do that and she just doesn't.
they are just whiners, and just pissy whenever anything goes against them.

I have a player that refuses to have his character sheets ready, and refuses to make a stat block for his cat familiar, despite his desire to involve it in the game. After he once again was not ready last night, I've just decided that the next time I ask him for a roll, and he has to sit and look **** up and calculate numbers, I'm just going to tell him he (or his familiar) failed. My guess is that will light a fire under his ass to make sure he has his crap in order.

In your situation, I would say that if the player is dithering about what to do, because she doesn't understand what she can do, or if she's trying to do things that aren't possible, and she should know they're not possible, just tell her that her turn is over, and she stood on the battlefield locked up in an indecisive daze, or just tell her that the thing she tried to do didn't work, and her action was used up. My guess is she'll get with the program... or quit.

Can't help you on the burned-out-need-a-break-from-being-DM front. I'm in the same situation in one of my games. Several of my players have gotten real flaky, and real life stuff has limited my prep and brainstorming time. I'd love for someone else to take over being DM, but every time one of my players has tried, their campaign dies out after 3-6 sessions. "DMing takes too much time."

[Calthropstu]

I have a player that refuses to have his character sheets ready, and refuses to make a stat block for his cat familiar, despite his desire to involve it in the game. After he once again was not ready last night, I've just decided that the next time I ask him for a roll, and he has to sit and look **** up and calculate numbers, I'm just going to tell him he (or his familiar) failed. My guess is that will light a fire under his ass to make sure he has his crap in order.

In your situation, I would say that if the player is dithering about what to do, because she doesn't understand what she can do, or if she's trying to do things that aren't possible, and she should know they're not possible, just tell her that her turn is over, and she stood on the battlefield locked up in an indecisive daze, or just tell her that the thing she tried to do didn't work, and her action was used up. My guess is she'll get with the program... or quit.

Can't help you on the burned-out-need-a-break-from-being-DM front. I'm in the same situation in one of my games. Several of my players have gotten real flaky, and real life stuff has limited my prep and brainstorming time. I'd love for someone else to take over being DM, but every time one of my players has tried, their campaign dies out after 3-6 sessions. "DMing takes too much time."

I am running my game because I WANT to run my game. I have a story to tell, and want it to be interactive and malleable.

It isn't fair to expect someone else to take over the reigns in my opinion, as it is MY (in your case YOUR) creativity that got the group together.

[ksbsnowowl]

I am running my game because I WANT to run my game. I have a story to tell, and want it to be interactive and malleable.

It isn't fair to expect someone else to take over the reigns in my opinion, as it is MY (in your case YOUR) creativity that got the group together.

I should clarify. Not take over my in-progress campaign story. But take over DM duties, with a new campaign of their own design. Keep the group together, but start a new campaign with a different DM.

[King of Nowhere]

I am now attempting to build a very small group of invite only friends who have a similar mindset to me, but its difficult because they already have games with other groups that they have had for years. So far, I am up to 3 people, and it looks like we will be able to play once every 2 months...



Have you considered asking those friends with other groups if you can join them instead? Jist because they have an established group doesn't mean the group can't be expanded

[RNightstalker]

When in doubt, always remember rule #1 when it comes to playing a game: winning is everything, losing sucks.

How do you win at D&D? You enjoy yourself, the time invested, the people you're with, you have fun and want to come back. Try to figure out why people aren't doing their part of the prep work...it may not be a good fit, or they may not know what will and won't fly if it's a homebrew campaign, so they're unsure or confused, and those people do nothing.


If your heart is into your story, stick to it...you just might need to draft a new group of pc's though.


On a side note, I feel your pain. It's amazing how many people are confused about what's going on when they're playing with their phones and playing other games while waiting for their turn, and then expect a recap every time.