Poultry Power! Build a chicken-inspired wizard!

[Toric]

I pitched an idea to a friend today as a joke but now I'm genuinely curious: A chicken farmer's son was brighter than he had any right to be. He spent his days minding the chickens, but he did so with particular attention. He watched the chickens. Studied them. They were such simple creatures, he was able to learn so very much about the workings of the world through them. And one day he took what he had compiled - mere scratchings to the casual eye but containing secrets most profound - to change the world.

tl;dr How would you build a level 5 Wizard who learned their craft by studying chickens? What spells would they have? What would their focus or components be? This is purely a thought exercise, so please, exercise with me!

[Xihirli]

It could make a very interesting Druid Shepherd build if your DM will help you make chickens of CR 1/4 for Summon Beasts.

After your wizard gets Polymorph you could reflavor the T-Rex you turn your fighter into as a giant chicken.
That’s basically what a T-Rex is, right?

[Chronos]

You're a couple of editions too late for the best one: 3.5 edition had a "flaw" called "Chicken Infested" that optimizers exploited the heck out of.

But looking at the wizard list for spells that would re-fluff well:

Cantrips:
Acid Splash and Poison Spray are thrown rotten eggs
Dancing Lights is Dancing Chickens

1:
Comprehend Languages is renamed Read Chickenscratch
Feather Fall is fine as-is.
It'd be straightforward to add a chicken option to Find Familiar
Fog Cloud is now Feather Cloud
Illusory Script also chickenscratch
Longstrider is Longflapper
Shield is shaped like a giant eggshell enclosing you.
Tasha's Hideous Clucking
Unseen Chickens

2:
Cloud of Daggers is Cloud of Talons
Locate Object is Locate Egg
Shatter is Eggshells

3:
Fear is Chicken Out
Leomund's Tiny Coop
Phantom Chocobo
Sleet Storm is Feather Storm
Stinking Cloud is Rotten Egg

4:
Confusion is fine as-is
Hallucinatory Free Range
Leomund's Secret Nest
Polymorph can turn creatures into chickens

5:
Bigby's Wing
Cloudkill is Rottener Egg
Creation is Lay

6:
Magic Jar is Soul Egg
Otto's Irresistible Chicken Dance

7:
Talon of Death
Forcecoop
Free Range Arcane

8:
Feeblemind, Maze, and Mind Blank are fine as-is

9:
Shapechange, I guess?

[Lord8Ball]

If I were to play a chicken wizard I'd definitely take catapult for the sole reason that I could shoot a handful of feathers into my enemies. Another funny spell would be a phantasmal force because you can summon an unkillable giant firebreathing lizard chicken with laser eyes and scare the hell out of your enemies. If you want to go full chicken mode you can take 3 levels in druid (Shepherd) for chicken wildshape and healing spirit in the form of a chicken.

[DrKerosene]

Asking to use Find Familiar for a Chicken should be fine.

Maybe you can get permission to be a WereChicken (WereRat with Jump and Featherfall? Or a WereRaven from Curse Of Strahd).

Tasha’s Hideous Laughter uses a feather as a material component. As does Enhance Ability (power of a chicken), Fly, and Fear (this also needs a Hen Heart). Perhaps you can change the origin of the feather needed for Identify, and Windwall.

Maybe you can use chicken fat for the Grease spell. Stinking Cloud uses a rotting (chicken?) egg. Gentle Repose might keep your fried chicken fresh for longer...

If you can get Animal Friendship, Animal Messenger, Speak With Animals, and maybe Beast Sense, that’s cool too, but easily replaced by a chicken Familiar.

I never got permission to reflavor the Deinonychus as a Dire-Chicken form for my Moon Druid, but I figure you can still use it as a Polymorph form if you hit level 7. There’s other higher level spells with components that I’m ignoring, like Dream.

Maybe you can take the Tavern Brawler feat to use dead chickens, rubber chickens, or drumsticks, to hit people.

Also, Rock Gnome tinker toys to make a Cluckning Chicken. Or just use Magic Mouth to make a “spin an speak” toy that is just various chickens.

[JackPhoenix]

Does it have to be a wizard? (https://mfov.magehandpress.com/2015/08/cluckromancy.html)

[loki_ragnarock]

Does it have to be a wizard? (https://mfov.magehandpress.com/2015/08/cluckromancy.html)

It's a little broken, but it's a lot of perfect.

[Pyramid Pug]

Does it have to be a wizard? (https://mfov.magehandpress.com/2015/08/cluckromancy.html)

And here's a shining example of a thing I didn't knew I needed so badly in my life 😁

"I was called chicken.. ONCE!"

[Particle_Man]

Name him gonzo the great and take the entertainer background.

[Crgaston]

Thank you so much for the opportunity to post this in proper context!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miomuSGoPzI

[aradralami]

Thank you so much for the opportunity to post this in proper context!


youtube.com/watch?v=miomuSGoPzI

Was there an original version to this song? I really feel like I've heard it before with different lyrics. I can't find it :eek:

[Crgaston]

Was there an original version to this song? I really feel like I've heard it before with different lyrics. I can't find it :eek:

Sorry for OT drift, but look up Takeo Ischi. He yodels about chickens with some frequency, so you might be thinking of a different but similar tune?

Edit: Back on topic... you could use Conjure Animals to summon velociraptors and refluff (pun intended) them as dire chickens. Needs Druid levels, though. Or see if your DM will let you add it to the Wizard list.

[Toric]

These are all awesome. I could totally imagine a wizard inviting everyone into Leomund's Tiny Coop. I hadn't considered a druid at all (I love the idea of velociraptors flavored as Dire Chickens). And the Cluckromancer? That's just the... sniff I'm sorry. It's just so beautiful.

[Bjarkmundur]

This thread is beautiful, love the reflavoured spells xD