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Lord
2007-10-01, 05:34 AM
I was just reading a discussion about Orcs when I remembered a extremely humiliating death by my first character.

Anyway so I figured I would ask what YOUR most humiliateing death was.

To start things off I'll tell you the above story.

It was my first D&D session ever.

My character was a human paladin named Jomas who used a Longsword and shield.

Our objective, go and wipe out a cave full of orcs for a reason I can't remember. Anyway so we fight our way past 4 orcs with little trouble. Then we see 2 orcs at a chokepoint only two sqaures wide. Naturally since we are the tanks me and the cleric move forward. Several rounds of misses on both sides follow. Then an orcs rolls a natural 20 when attacking me. He rolls a twelve x3. My paladin had 12 hp. You do the math. I was 5 years old at the time. If it weren't for DM making it so I was at -1 when I got upset I would have been saved even more humiliation. I got near death about five more times in that dungeon alone.

Overlard
2007-10-01, 05:52 AM
Somewhere else on the boards I wrote the story about a character whose fighter's mind got switched with that of a cursed sword. Then ended up spending the rest of his existence being used as a fire poker by a family of farmers.

Lord
2007-10-01, 06:05 AM
Oh yes now a days we kill anyone who's character dies...
We also try to summon demons. Worship satan, and think we are our characters.
Okay in all seriousness I made an error there.

Overlard
2007-10-01, 06:22 AM
Oh yes now a days we kill anyone who's character dies...
We also try to summon demons. Worship satan, and think we are our characters.
Okay in all seriousness I made an error there.
You made a spelling error, and as a result accidentally worship Santa?

Driderman
2007-10-01, 06:25 AM
Killed by little monkeys throwing rocks.

It wasn't even my character, I was just a stand-in for the player who apparently couldn't make it that session.

Glaivemaster
2007-10-01, 06:35 AM
My mum likes to tell the story of her friend's character who was killed by some baby wolves, while the rest of the party stood around laughing at him because he couldn't handle baby wolves

banjo1985
2007-10-01, 06:40 AM
We once killed another players kobold character by tieing him up in a bag and boiling him in a cauldron for trail rations.

Good times :smallbiggrin:

SoD
2007-10-01, 06:40 AM
OK, here's the situation. The party:
Me. A playful, annoying psion.
A half-elf rogue.
A half-orc barbarian.
An evil dread necromancer (with a greatsword).
A human paladin.
An NPC bard I'd convinced to join us (I was his only friend in the world).
There was also the caravan owner, and his assistant.

It was my second session ever. My character was useless, which I loved. He hadn't hit a single opponant and had concussed himself earlier in battle, jumping from one caravan to another...and hitting it (we had to protect the caravans). That night, I was on watch. I accidentally woke the necromancer. He wasn't happy. Now he needed another 8 hours sleep. I'm on watch. I eventually get bored. I grab an arrow, shoved it into the ground and yell out: ''Help! We're being attacked!''. The barbarian leaps up nearly knocking himself unconcious (he was under the caravan) and runs into the wilderness with his greataxe. The rouge goes back to sleep, as does the caravan owners assistant. The caravan owner comes out with a crossbow and questions me, the bard also comes out. The paladin didn't even wake up. The necro was really getting annoyed, he yelled at me for a bit (if you wake me one more time, for anything, so help me, etc.) and went back to bed. The others soon went back after nothing attacked us, although the barbarian got lost on the way back. The necro pitches his tent on top of the caravan and orders not to be woken.

The next morning...we get attacked. The paladin turns to me and says 'we'll need a spellcaster. Make sure he's ready.' and waits for the opponant to reach us. I go and start shaking him. The conversation is as follows:
:elan: Quick, wake up!
:xykon: Huh? Wha-? You! What did I tell you?!
:elan: We're being attacked! We need your help!
:xykon: I told you not to wake me.
:elan: Come on, we-re be-...why are looking at me like that?
:xykon: I TOLD YOU NOT TO WAKE ME!!! *grabs greatsword*
I ran, and got hit in the back with a greatsword...on a critical hit. Essentially chopping me in half. And so, the barbarian wanders in from the wilderness to see the necro, over my dead body (I had the sort of cute uselessness that the party loved) saying 'finnally!' and rages, and charges.
The paladin uses detect evil on the necro, and also charges.
The necro looks up and says 'no, wait, I can-'
The rogue watches on, slightly amused.
The bard silently cries.

And then we were attacked by a force meant to tax us to the limits...and our barbarian had used his rage, and we were two party members down already.

Great fun.

kieza
2007-10-01, 01:01 PM
4th level ranger is glued to a mimic. The barbarian rages, power attacks, and rolls an attack that misses the mimic by 1.

Thus, he hits the ranger, who was granting cover. Rolls for 18 damage, killing the ranger. It was described as chopping him in half, leaving the two halves dangling from the mimic.

Crow
2007-10-01, 01:06 PM
Our party's druid got attacked and killed by a badger.

SexyOchreJelly
2007-10-01, 01:09 PM
A couple of PC's from a campaign I was in once got trapped inside an extradimensional space after destroying Greyhawk.

They wouldn't age in that strange place, which resembled the white room from the matrix, and they wouldn't die. They had to spend the rest of eternity with each other. Not really a death, but humiliating nevertheless.

Mr. Moogle
2007-10-01, 01:22 PM
It was my longest lived character ever :smallfrown: at the time he was a lawfull good level 12 monk//swordsage of Desert wind (searing blades+FoB=Own) and he was part tof a resistance against a Hugely Massive Evil Empire (Our group calls them HMEE's for short). And hes single handedly sneaking out past midnight (the HMEE had a curfew of 8 o'clock) and he's investigating the death of a innocent family that was killed by one of the resistance's more "Radical" members (CE swordsage of Baby Eating :smalleek: [actually tiger claw]). Well I'm stopped by two guards and i promptly shadow jaunt away, but fearing the sfty of the resistance i decide to knock them out. I jump off a roof top onto one of them and hit him for nonleathal, MY FALLING DAMAGE KILLS HIM quickly KO the other one but at that time my presence had already been given away to the "agents of death" (swordsage psions who travel in packs of seven, using maximized ego whip to subdue you). Apperently killing/KO ing an officer is a serious crime and i attracted 2 packs or FOURTEEN AGENTS of course my monk had dump stated charisma so i was owned in the face, brainwashed, and used ass a boss fight later on :smallannoyed:.

bloodluster
2007-10-01, 01:26 PM
My first campaign at first level in greyhawk, I was trying to take the dead body off of an alter that was being used for a sacrifice, a zombie dog tripped me and a 1st level rouge cracked my head open with a hammer...Man that was humiliating...

brian c
2007-10-01, 01:27 PM
My first character was a monk, died at level 4 in a dungeon.

The room in the dungeon that we had arrived in had a river going through it. That would have been okay, except there was some sort of sea monster in the river.

So there we are, on one side of the river and a monster sitting in the water spraying acid or something at us. I didn't have any ranged weapons and the party was getting hosed, so I took a last-ditch effort: I jumped over and grappled the serpent. From a spectacular set of rolls, I successfully jumped and grappled, but then was crushed by the serpent's tail. I did distract the bugger long enough for my party to win.

enderrocksonall
2007-10-01, 01:33 PM
As a party of 5th level adventurers, our cleric was killed in combat with the BBEG and then raised as a zombie to fight us. I, being a paladin, subsequently turned his zombie butt.

AmadeusWindfall
2007-10-01, 01:39 PM
My first (and only, at the moment) game ever. We'd just killed a couple of Yuan-Ti (I think), and entered a cave where the path would become too thin to walk on, so we jumped. I jumped last, and I was a cleric in heavy armour with no ranks in Jump - of course, I fell to my death instantly. Fortunately, the DM decided that I just about managed to grab on, because it would be unfair otherwise. Later, when we had to do more jumping, I was sane enough to make the Half-Ogre carry me rather than continue suicidal leaping.

Crow
2007-10-01, 01:47 PM
Haha, I have to post again.

Our group was exploring a kobold lair when we came up upon a huge vertical shaft that stretched really deep, and really high. On the far end of the shaft (about 10 feet accross), a rope ladder dangled against the wall, leading up.

So our paladin decides to jump for it.

He makes the jump! But then the ladder gives way with barely any resistance and the paladin plummets to his death.

After marveling at the cleverness of the "decoy ladder", we double back and find the secret door that lead to the stairway leading to the top of the shaft!

Kronk
2007-10-01, 01:48 PM
The exact sequence of events has been forgotten over time, but it went something like this:

We were playing 2E and I had a low level wizard name Kael. He cast sleep on the group of gnolls and got them all! :smallbiggrin: Yay us. I had actually rolled a Psuedodragon familiar and was really enjoying this character. Feeling rather pleased with my usefulness I sent my familiar over to finish off the sleeping gnolls. I forget the exact mechanics, but somehow one of the gnolls awoke while my familiar was trying to kill it and the gnoll got a surprise round, critted my familiar, and killed it. I failed my save and died too.

I'm actually still kinda bitter about that one.

truemane
2007-10-01, 01:54 PM
Had a thirteenth level Paladin in 2E. Died in a random encounter with undead. Bad scene.

My favourite was my 12th level Wild Mage (also from 2E). He and one other party member are off to save Damsel X from Monster Y. We have to teleport. My PC's never been there.

Other PC: That Miss Chance is pretty rough.
Me: It's like 5%. Come on! Live a little!

One roll later...

Dead. 50 feet underground. Bam.

After that I DM'd for a few years.

Mavian
2007-10-01, 01:56 PM
We were in a dragons lair, and the combat was going badly.

My elven enchanter, not having much luck punching through the Dragons SR, goes digging through its hoard and grabs a random vial. Next round he catches the edge of the dragons breath weapon, and is reduced to 5 hit points.

I figured... its in a vial, so its a potion. Potions contains spells, and who brews potions of Inflict Light Wounds, so I drank it.

And then died a horrible silent death, as the universal solvent disintegrated my throat.

Tallis
2007-10-01, 02:19 PM
My first campaign at first level in greyhawk, I was trying to take the dead body off of an alter that was being used for a sacrifice, a zombie dog tripped me and a 1st level rouge cracked my head open with a hammer...Man that was humiliating...

You were killed by make-up? :smalleek: That is humiliating.:smalltongue:

I had a cleric/magic-user (1e) that kickked butt as a spell caster but could never do well in melee. Despite having good stats, I just could never roll well for him. In one battle against an evil cult (arround level 8-9) I tried to melle 3 lower level cult members. I spent a about 2 rounds missing, then rolled a 1 on a save vs hold person and they promptly slit my throat. What should have been a cake-walk ended up in total defeat.

psychoticbarber
2007-10-01, 02:23 PM
I DM more than I play, but I once had a fighter run off the edge of a cliff.

Why? He assumed there was an invisible bridge, because the wizard they were fighting was "standing" (hovering, actually) on thin air in the middle of a cavern.

nobodylovesyou4
2007-10-01, 02:42 PM
i have 2 that i cant decide between, so ill tell you both:

one was in mutants and masterminds. i was playing as optimus prime, and everything is going pretty well. until the dm sends a level 20 multiplier after us. were level ten. AND they have piercing, thus piercing my armor and getting to my very small toughness save. i got hit with 20 picks. optimus prime was down for the count after that one, but because i got pissed off the DM said i could come back (Lord Tataraus, im talking to you).

the other one was in a dnd campaign hosted by my least favorite dm. i was a half-vampire warlock, who had very little patience with "mortals". at one point we were dealing with an incredibly stubborn town guard, so, in character, my warlock shoots a 1d6 eldritch blast at him. the dm, for some reason or other, declares me an enemy of the party at this point (he has a really loose grasp on how alignments work), and lets the barbarian kill me. he does 29 damage. i had 8 hp. theres a reason i hate him as a dm.

kemmotar
2007-10-01, 02:53 PM
This is for a friend of mine's monk...

We're in an abandoned temple of ilmater that has been taken over by an elder wyrm black dragon and a large young black dragon. A solar we rescued gets to fight elder wyrm and we (party level 10) gets to fight the youngling...

The setting is a large room filled with evenly spaced pillars that lead to a really high roof that is open in the middle.

The battle goes on smoothly and even until the monk decides to climb one of the pillars(natural 20). He subsequently jumps onto the dragon and (amazingly enough) grabs onto the dragon's neck, presumably to choke him(?)...the dragon takes flight, it goes high...higher...higher...it attacks the monk still dangling from his neck with two wing attacks and he loses consciousness. He falls and falls for a long time...in the mean time the druid summons a dire bat and goes to save the monk...on his way up he passes by the monk going down....he dives for the monk (my rogue claps out of excitement...only the pop corn was missing) misses him but gets him 30 feet off the ground. They land safely and we heal the monk back to consciousness.

Meanwhile the dragon comes back...the monk (guess what) climbs the same pillar again(natural 20...again) for 2 rounds!He then flying kicks the dragon and actually crits...crit+falling damage finishes off the dragon as well as the monk! Point was...dragon only had 10 hp left and would have fallen if the fighter so much as touched him :smalltongue:

Tallis
2007-10-01, 02:57 PM
the other one was in a dnd campaign hosted by my least favorite dm. i was a half-vampire warlock, who had very little patience with "mortals". at one point we were dealing with an incredibly stubborn town guard, so, in character, my warlock shoots a 1d6 eldritch blast at him. the dm, for some reason or other, declares me an enemy of the party at this point (he has a really loose grasp on how alignments work), and lets the barbarian kill me. he does 29 damage. i had 8 hp. theres a reason i hate him as a dm.


Wouldn't it really be up to the party to decide if they're your enemy? That aside, I'd be more peeved at the person who actually killed me (unless they had a good reason). I don't believe it's the DM's job to stop that unless it's an ongoing OOC problem. After all it's a player character not a DMPC right?

Fhaolan
2007-10-01, 02:59 PM
I was killed by a cow.

Okay, I was killed *with* a cow.

*sigh*

Okay, I was *hit* with a cow... and died.

Party was guarding a bridge for some reason. It was getting pretty boring, and along came a wandering monster. A giant. Carrying a cow he had stolen from somewhere. My character, a cleric, gets a bit mouthy with the giant, so the giant swings his club to swat the annoying little prat. Except that he forgot his club at home, and what he had in his hand was the cow.

So my character is being a wiseass, and suddenly he gets a cow to the face.

A critical hit system was in place (this was a 2nd edition game, but this system worked much the same as 3.x crits, 20 gets you double damage or so), and the hit did enough damage to drop the cleric.

*sigh*

Roderick_BR
2007-10-01, 03:07 PM
My invoker wizard was shooting fireballs at a group of kobolds armed with crossbows, with two of them loading a mini-balista (small enough to fit the room, and big enough to kill even the barbarian)
I was a bit too trigger happy blowing kobolds up, when a pair of kobolds got lucky and decimated my few hit points with some critted bolts.
The humiliating part? After I died, I checked my character sheet, and noticed that I had memorized Protection from Arrows :smallsigh:
After he got resurrected, he became a Blood Magus. One of my most fun characters.:smallamused:

Nerd-o-rama
2007-10-01, 03:30 PM
"Keep throwing Magic Stones, healer druid, I can take another hit".

Smacked to negative ten exactly next turn.

"Well, at least I still have chicken."

ArtifexFelicis
2007-10-01, 03:43 PM
First post. But then again, I lurk a lot.

This wasn't actually me, but I was a big part of this fiasco. We were a level 4 party, not too high, but not bad either. I was playing a Sorcerer , going along the Draconic Feat style. We had a cleric, a fighter, a paladin and a rogue tiefling. Our ranger got killed because he went out to scout and got lost. Nevertheless, the place we were entering was a big big undead hosting hall. My familiar ended up finding the back entrance to the crypt, and we got a chance to bypass about 6 or 7 monsters thankfully.

So we go in, and we have a tough time with a couple of undead bugbears. We're all surviving, and we get a choice about which way we could go. Our whole point was so that we could pick up some ashes so a cleric could get a resurrection. Needless to say, we couldn't decide which way to go. There was either a doorway right next to us, or a long hallway. Our paladin and cleric were the classic crusader bunch and wanted to "scourge the evil" from the world. I decided it would be better to try and finish the damn crypt as soon as possible. This is partially due to the fact we had seen a rather large number of zombies and skeletons before.

I walk up to the door, and I knock on it. Yep, I was polite and knocked on a doorway in a crypt filled with undead stuff.

What opened to door way a rather evil/spellstitched ghoul. I also found out later he had an unknown amount of damage reduction. Behind the spellstitched ghoul were two evil cleric bastards, and a Necropolitan that was immune to turning.

I'm unsure on the exact details, but I believe the exact words that came out of my mouth at that time was "Oh S***" and I ended up getting smashed by the ghoul and due to some crazy spell flown back about 10 feet. I didn't die, but the fighter who was about to get healed by our cleric did cushioning my body.

TheAlmightyOne
2007-10-01, 03:53 PM
Not my death but I caused it. My evil elf rogue/wizard and the rest of the party were in a cave. The bard (not evil just a bastard) had noticed something in one of the underground pools. Only the barbarian had ranks in swim so I bluffed into saying there was candy at the bottom of the lake (the barbarian was essentially Thog). Barbarian jumps in, drowns cos he was still wearing full armour, and I then proceded to obtain the item at the bottom of the lake with one of my spells (I forget which one). Me and the bard then stole all the barbarians stuff

My favourite part was the players face when he found out he'd just drowned trying to get an item that allows you to breathe underwater.

Mithhuan
2007-10-01, 04:20 PM
I was playing an elven rogue and failed to find a trap. The trap dropped a bag containing 10 tiny centipedes on my character. The character was repeatedly bitten and was quickly taking ability damage. The only quickest way I could think of to get the centipedes off was to lie down and roll across the floor smashing the centipedes. The barbarian in the party seeing me get attacked raged and charged to attack. He rolled a critical hit on one of the centipedes with his great axe and rolled for max damage. The centipede took the 1 point of damage required to kill it and my character took the other 39. What did the barbarian's player say,"oops!"

continuumc
2007-10-01, 04:27 PM
hehe..I have a good one to share. Alright, we were just starting a new campaign (and I mean..JUST). The part had not even met yet. Anywho, my character (a level 1 female human rogue with a severe problem with greed.) was on her way to a city (I forget the name) where she was going to meet the other party members. Well, we were roleplaying the trip over to the other city, when the DM tells me that, in the distance I see a castle.

I ask him if I know anything about this castle and he informs me that i've heard that there is a substantial amount of treasure hidden inside this abandoned castle. Well..my character was greedy and had a moderately low wisdom score. Needless to say, I had her make a little detour to the castle. Now i'd like to mention that I believe the DM did this on purpose. He's not exactly shy about killing characters, and I have a suspicion that he takes a certain degree of joy in it. This isn't the first time a character of mine has died in one of his games. But I digress.

So, without attempting to discourage me in the least little way, he lets me journey into the castle which I found, at first, to be utterly empty. But then I went to a door and opened it, revealing a hallway. A dark hallway...filled with about twenty stirges!!!! ...all of which promptly swarmed my poor little level 1 rogue. She died a horrible, lonely little death.

Jade_Tarem
2007-10-01, 04:53 PM
We have a guy in our group who tends to catch the brunt of the party's mistakes and downsides in plans, and who also tends to get himself killed. One time, however, he figured he had a foolproof strategy...

The party was sent to recover the gold dragon orb (that artifact in the DMG) before a Great Wyrm Colossal++ Red Dragon (the BBEG) could get to it. Fortunately, the temple where the orb was was guarded by gold dragons that are on the side of the PC's and the PC's are fairly high level (13ish).

However, they arrive in the orb chamber to discover that not only are all the dragons dead, but they have failed to beat the BBEG to the orb. At this point, the death guy has had enough of the party and figures that this is the best time to switch sides - especially as he is currently using a much better character than any of his previous iterations, and would have the BBEG to back him up.

So he fires a round of shots into the party and is subsequently owned by the party's fast-moving main tank, but the party is driven off before he is killed. He awakens from negative hit points in the orb chamber with the BBEG. The conversation went something like this:

Player: You... healed me. Does this mean that I'm working for you now?
Dragon: No... I just wanted you to know how much this is going to hurt.

Renrik
2007-10-01, 05:29 PM
Most humiliating death?

There are a couple that sucked, but not many were really humiliating. For example, one of my players was such a feminine hygeine product with his constantly insisting on being a winged elf and always switching sides in the inter-party conflicts, that the good guys and bad guys, all PCs, ganged up on him and ripped off his wings with rusty knives, then threw him into hell.

Another character once got knocked unconscious by a dire weasel, then killed by a group of trogs.

But they weren't really humiliating deaths, per say.

Mewtarthio
2007-10-01, 05:31 PM
We have a guy in our group who tends to catch the brunt of the party's mistakes and downsides in plans, and who also tends to get himself killed. One time, however, he figured he had a foolproof strategy...

The party was sent to recover the gold dragon orb (that artifact in the DMG) before a Great Wyrm Colossal++ Red Dragon (the BBEG) could get to it. Fortunately, the temple where the orb was was guarded by gold dragons that are on the side of the PC's and the PC's are fairly high level (13ish).

However, they arrive in the orb chamber to discover that not only are all the dragons dead, but they have failed to beat the BBEG to the orb. At this point, the death guy has had enough of the party and figures that this is the best time to switch sides - especially as he is currently using a much better character than any of his previous iterations, and would have the BBEG to back him up.

So he fires a round of shots into the party and is subsequently owned by the party's fast-moving main tank, but the party is driven off before he is killed. He awakens from negative hit points in the orb chamber with the BBEG. The conversation went something like this:

Player: You... healed me. Does this mean that I'm working for you now?
Dragon: No... I just wanted you to know how much this is going to hurt.

Woo! Go comeuppance!

KoDT69
2007-10-01, 06:24 PM
As a player:

in 2e I had an elven Cleric 4 / Wizard 2 character leading a band of misfit adventurers to a black dragon's lair for some reason I don't really remember. There were 7 PC's all around level 5-7 and 40 0th level warriors on the mission. We discovered that she was ravaging the city below because her egg was stolen and we found a clue as to who it was. Of course the lookout sees mommy dragon off in the distance coming back so they all scatter and hide. I stood alone in the doorway calling out to her "I come to help find your stolen egg, I know who might have done it and can return it safely". She stops and looks for a second with rage and curiosity, then it happens...
The ranger decides, she's prone so I shoot at her head! As the first arow wizzed past me and the dragon (he missed horribly) the acid breath weapon goes point blank into MY face leaving only a puddle of goo and my magic warhammer that somehow survived the blast!

2e I played a Fighter 5 / Wizard 5 dual-classed Greater Doppleganger (yah the DM was pretty laxed on races) that was commisioned by the DM to kill my brother's Cleric 20 / Fighter 18 minotaur for some reason. I killed one of his low-level followers and ate his brain, then shapeshifted into that guy and got him alone in a somewhat soundproof room in the back of a noisy tavern. I activated the full abilities of my cube of force and managed to score a vorpal hit on him with my vorpal longsword. I ate his brain, then for good measure I shapeshifted into the minotaur and called in the Fighter 20 / Cleric 18 / Rogue 21 / Wizard 17 fire elf (homebrewed race at the time) and got her in close and scored another vorpal strike on a suprise round frst try! My brother lost 2 retardedly owerful characters to a guy with 50hp and some tactics!

As a DM :smallamused: :

2e - my cousin's 13th level fighter Dennifin was clubbed to death by a gorillon (I think, the 4 armed apes) and then his dead body was used as a club to beat the rest of the party badly. He gained the nickname DEADIFIN!

2e - my friend's 2nd level rogue was retreating from a ghast or something harging full speed on a draft horse with no ride skill. The horse was spooked and hard to control as it was, and he ran dead-on into an oak tree! The horse broke his neck and the body went upward, so the rogue took the crash damage then the smash damage from the horse. Good times :smallsmile:

3e - my friend's girlfriend was playing a fighter 4 / monk 4 (and my friend thinks that was a powerful character!!! WTF right?) and the party was faced-off against the SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! A fire giant in red overalls and a storm giant in green overalls, skilled in jumping with the intention of landing on the opponents. I never saw suck combat chaos :smallamused: They all scattered so only one at a time could attack/be attacked. The fire giant weighing in at 7,000lbs jumps 30ft into the air and lands on the fighter/monk! 780 damage total! Boy will the party be sory when they come back again!

Guy_Whozevl
2007-10-01, 07:08 PM
3e - my friend's girlfriend was playing a fighter 4 / monk 4 (and my friend thinks that was a powerful character!!! WTF right?) and the party was faced-off against the SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! A fire giant in red overalls and a storm giant in green overalls, skilled in jumping with the intention of landing on the opponents. I never saw suck combat chaos :smallamused: They all scattered so only one at a time could attack/be attacked. The fire giant weighing in at 7,000lbs jumps 30ft into the air and lands on the fighter/monk! 780 damage total! Boy will the party be sory when they come back again!


This is made of pure win.

My story involved an evil campaign, specifically the scout and ranger, trying to escape from a burning inn, caused by the sorc. and hexblade who want to kill the aforementioned players. They're on the roof and have to jump to some adjacent scaffolding. It's a DC 15 at worst. The scout makes it, but the ranger rolls a natural 1. He rolls again and gets a total of 10, confirming a critical failure (how we play). So, he trips, falls off of the roof, and lands at the feet sorc, exactly at -1. He deserved it though; he was a TWF drow (with rapiers).

Tallis
2007-10-01, 09:04 PM
I was killed by a cow.

Okay, I was killed *with* a cow.

*sigh*

Okay, I was *hit* with a cow... and died.

Party was guarding a bridge for some reason. It was getting pretty boring, and along came a wandering monster. A giant. Carrying a cow he had stolen from somewhere. My character, a cleric, gets a bit mouthy with the giant, so the giant swings his club to swat the annoying little prat. Except that he forgot his club at home, and what he had in his hand was the cow.

So my character is being a wiseass, and suddenly he gets a cow to the face.

A critical hit system was in place (this was a 2nd edition game, but this system worked much the same as 3.x crits, 20 gets you double damage or so), and the hit did enough damage to drop the cleric.

*sigh*

heh..hehe..HaHaHAHAHAH.BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAA AAA.....heh.

I am so going to use that against my players.

Toliudar
2007-10-02, 12:28 AM
A death I caused rather than experienced:

A player has been working with the same arrogant stick-up-butt human paladin character for about 9 years real time. He LOVES this guy. Thanks to a previous DM's Monty Haul tendancies, he also has a +5 sword, +5 armour, +5 shield, Daern's Instant Fortress, and a belt that resets his base strength to 29. At level 11.

The group has just managed to talk their way into a drow city in the underdark, and are SO close to reaching the final objective of a massive campaign. He decides to go for a stroll on his own before the group sets out. No one asks why, because no one wants to know. He crosses in front of an alley, and a street kid (a mid-level rogue NPC, part of a street gang I'd prepared as a possible contact and info source for the PC's) lips him off. He draws his sword and charges into the alley, starts whaling on the kid. Doesn't change tactics when I tell him about the six or seven other drow and half-drow standing around in the alley.

Because this was fairly early in the process of the group switching from 2E to 3E, the paladin's player didn't really understand the difference between backstab and sneak attack. Until his clock got cleaned with more than 100 hit points in damage in two rounds. The drow BBEG (who had infiltrated the group as a squire to the insufferable paladin) later found his corpse, animated it, and made it dance for him as he fought the other PC's. It was a sweet, sweet day.

Falconer
2007-10-02, 01:40 AM
The drow BBEG (who had infiltrated the group as a squire to the insufferable paladin) later found his corpse, animated it, and made it dance for him as he fought the other PC's. It was a sweet, sweet day.

absolutely BRILLIANT!!!

Kurald Galain
2007-10-02, 04:10 AM
Well, I recall this character who (as a human) walked up to a meeting of radical Elven Equality activists, and started dissing them... that would merely have gotten him beaten up, except he had the bright idea to draw a sword on them.

There's also this character who had a staff of water control that he wasn't sure how to work, so he figured it'd be a good idea to swirl it around in the water. While standing on a boat. Cue whirlpool, boat sinks. D'oh!

SoD
2007-10-02, 04:23 AM
Melee combat with a 1st level sorcerer. Who was out of spells. Owch, that one hurt.

Thoughtbot360
2007-10-02, 04:32 AM
Let me tell you how my first character, a Sorcerer, died. (Actually he already died, but the cleric had a scroll of ressurection, and the event in which he died wasn't particularly funny. I just got surrounded by skeletal hands and they jumped on me like the rabbit from the Monty Python movie.) Anyway heres the situation:

Theres a fight between the King and a large army of Orcs controlled by a human wizard, who also has some knights in black armor working for him. We have just set up camp, and the next day we come across some of those black knights on patrol. So the Dwarf warwizard has an illusion cast on himself that disguises himself as the prince. (I had come in late in the storyline, so I missed what was going on with the prince. However, the bad guys were looking for him.) So the Dwarf was the Prince and the party fighter took the role of an Orc chasing him. They were to come out into the blue while everyone else ambushed the enemy that came to help the orc capture "the prince."

Before I continue I have so throw this out there: There was another wizard besides the dwarf in the party. I hated his guts. I had nothing against him, its just that he had 2 or 3 levels on me and he had Fireball. When I got 3rd level spells, I unwisely chose Lightning Bolt when my Sorcerer turned 6th level because I thought (wrongly) we were going to fight a Kracken. Let me tell you this: A 20-ft. radius of flame beats a Line of Lightning any day of the weak in a Necropolis (See my first death, the skeletal hands.) So I was stuck with

When I saw those knights clumped together I was thinking something along the lines of (ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! armor! armor! ARMOR!) So I popped out from behind my rock (hoping I was a safe distance from the 60 ft. movement of the mounted knights.) and shot my ultimate attack (Lightning Bolt) at them, planning on scoring big damage. I rolled.....poorly.

Next turn they charged me and I figured out that I had made a mistake. Easily closing the distance, they cut me down and there I was, bleeding to death.

But what sealed the deal was the Wall of Force. We had a Purple Dragon Knight in our party and he had a little ring that detected poison and created Walls of Force. He tried to help....by cutting off my corpse from the rest of the world with a Force field. Now, I had stabilized. My familiar was trampled, but I only just got him and I discovered that NO in 3.0 edition, the con bonus from a toad does not give you hit points, so "Kermy" (Someone else in the party named him, kind of like "Blackwing" in the OOTS) could just burn for all I cared, I was ok. I had learned my lesson and all I needed was just to survive until the group won so they could wait out the Wall of Force and heal me back to mobility. But then the giant army of Orcs arrived and the party got their 6th and 7th level asses outta there, abandoning me.

One mistep had cost me everything.

Katasi
2007-10-02, 07:25 AM
Ok, here's mine. It was my first campaign, my character was a Fighter 2/ Sorcerer 3. He had a sword, and of course no armor. I was new to the game so the idea of having it all, magic and melee appealed to me greatly. the problem came I didn't grasp the tactics of using such a character.

Anyway, early on in the campaign [about the second page of posting, it was on these forums], the party [me, a cleric, and a wizard] comes to a cave and decides to rest for the night. Well, we go to sleep, and we are attacked by a bunch of ghouls. Well we deal with the ghouls pretty easy, the wizard takes a good bit of damage, but the cleric turns two of them and manages to destroy them, and I take out one of them. Well they came from the dark back of the cave, so my character thinks we should make sure nothing else is gonna come after use in the night. The other two don't agree, and we decide that I'll go back and the other two will stay up front, and I should call if I need help. Well I go back, find this woman, and me and her talk, I'm completely honest about killing the ghouls, next thing the woman starts growling about us killing her babies. Turns out it was a ghast in disguise. Big surprise huh? Well, I manage to do something like 3 damage with one hit before getting hit and failing my saves vs. both paralysis and ghoul fever, so I can't do anything. I call for the cleric, but he's 3 rounds away. I last for 2, the cleric hear's me hit the ground as I die [He was blind]. Anyway, ever since then that's kinda been my "thing", going bravely into unknown territory, especially caves, even when I shouldn't.


Also, later in the campaign [I got to make a replacement character.], I was supposed to die, but the gm fudged it a bit. My new character was a straight level 5 fighter. The party was at an inn/bar [it was a japanese based campaign.] My guy was sharing sake with not one, but two cute girls. Well it turns out the girls had boyfriends. Two samurai. One with TWF, the other had a katana, and PA. Well anyway, after about 3 or 4 rounds of fighting the one with PA Crits on full PA. Which as I recall brought me to something like -18 HP. Well, my life was saved cause the DM decided that some old sage guy came in and called the samurai on the dishonorable 2 on 1 fighting. I had already dropped the one with the TWF the round before, he was unconcisos, but the other one ran off. Meanwhile the two girls that I had been drinking with got made at me for hurting the guy with TWF! And they had been the ones to push for the fight to begin with.

Krugg
2007-10-02, 07:46 AM
Well I know it's not the right place, but I have a least humiliating PC death.

Party started good, and by level 10, they were all evil except my bbn - Chaotic Neutral. And anyways, the party had decided that they no longer needed a meat shield, and so they killed me.

And then the very next encounter they all got killed by a creature that we would've beaten with me in the party still. Can't remember what it was, just the laughing at them with the DM because of how dumb they were.

Serves them right

Even funnier is that when they were trying to kill me, I wasn't fighting back and it took them like 6 rounds each to finally take me down.. Hahahaha

pendell
2007-10-02, 11:28 AM
Nethack -- computer game based on 2e. My character is a gnome wizard, with a minimal strength -- 7? We don't have no stinkin' point buy in Nethack-- you play what's rolled and like it.

Game starts with me as a level 1 character. Next to me is the upstairs. A few
feet away is a locked chest.

No prob. I'll just kick it open. I've done that with plenty of human fighters. It's better than smashing it open (destroys the treasure inside) or trying to pick it with a dagger (probably lose the dagger, with low dexterity and experience level). I have no lockpicking or spell memorized.

Kick.

*WHAM* Thump! Ouch! That hurts!

Kick. *WHAM*
Kick *WHAM*
Kick *WHAM* Thump! Ouch! That hurts!
DYWYPI? ("Do you want your possessions identified?"
That's nethack's way of saying 'you're dead, chum!')

Ya see, kicking the chest with such a low con and strength score caused my character HP damage. And I just kept it up until my HP-meter ran to zero. This is Nethack, not D&D 3E - 0 hitpoints means dead-dead, forever (except in rare cases not available to a first-level character).

And so my character died in less than a hundred moves from KICKING A CHEST.


Respectfully,

Brian P.

brian c
2007-10-02, 11:32 AM
I DM more than I play, but I once had a fighter run off the edge of a cliff.

Why? He assumed there was an invisible bridge, because the wizard they were fighting was "standing" (hovering, actually) on thin air in the middle of a cavern.

This story wins some sort of prize. Maybe a Darwin Award.

Thane
2007-10-02, 11:52 AM
Homer Simpson: "We played Dungeons & Dragons!!!... I got killed by an owl :("

Leliel
2007-10-02, 11:54 AM
This isn't a PC death, but still humiliating, so...

I was running a campagin where the Pallie had offended a bomb-maker by saying he was doing an evil trade(he wasn't, but so what). Long story short, the Pallie survived, but woke up three days later in a hospital. This is what transpired between him, the nurse, and the doctor:

Nurse: Er, what sex is the Paladin? S/he is so magled I can't tell if those are breasts, and s/hes hairless.

Doc: Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be able to tell if we simply look..under...(pauses, looks horrified).

Pallie: (raspy) Whats...wrong...

Doc: (Looks up) Well, the bad news is, whe had to look in your trousers to tell what gender you are. The worse news is, the indicators are missing.

(Long pause. Then...)

Paliie: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least the medical technology of that world was advanced enough to grow a perfectly functioning pair of gentalia. Still didn't stop us for laughing for weeks.

SoD
2007-10-02, 12:00 PM
I DM more than I play, but I once had a fighter run off the edge of a cliff.

Why? He assumed there was an invisible bridge, because the wizard they were fighting was "standing" (hovering, actually) on thin air in the middle of a cavern.


Sounds remarkably similar to an example in the DMG...

psychoticbarber
2007-10-02, 12:08 PM
Sounds remarkably similar to an example in the DMG...

Really? Well it did happen in a game I was DMing. You'll have to take my word for it, I guess.

BRC
2007-10-02, 12:10 PM
Latest session, were fighting a sorceress (or somthing) that is capable of controlling water, on top of a mountain. She was on a boat on a mountaintop lake (long story about the BBEG's evil plot involving said mountain) but we blew the boat up with a cannon and she just jumped off and landed on the water, one of the PC's, a Yuan-ti (those are the snake people right?) decides to swim towrds her, she controls the water to vanish from below him causing him to fall to the bottom of the lake, then pushes it down onto him, crushing him. After we killed her (Our monk used a magic boomarang to stun her, causing the water-walking to fade and her to drown, I finished her off with a blast from a magic helmet) I took a bottle and filled it with lakewater,since aformentioned yuan-ti had gotton so thourghaly crushed there wasnt much left of him, but since what was left was floating around in tiny bits in lake, I felt I could safetly assume I grabbed some of him so we could use ressurection.

SoD
2007-10-02, 12:29 PM
Psychoticbarber, I'm considering putting the quote from the DMG up if I can find it (please note, this is just a personality thing of mine, and I trust it was your idea...I've been in a similar situation in real life). I know that some people would see it as an insult, or an attempted blow to their morals, or something. No complaints if I put it up (assuming I can find it)?

riffin
2007-10-02, 06:13 PM
I didn't die. but nearly did.

So we were fighting gelatinous cubes, who are huge and deal acid.
So my halfling ranger who does useless peircing runs in. I do damage with chaos (yay cool sword) and began to be slain. So 6 little dessert blobs swarming me, i screech like an eagle, and fly to my cleric (who promptly grows to 8 feet and charges in.

our paladin then got hit with just enough damage to kill me.

Stormcrow
2007-10-02, 06:36 PM
Not my death but I caused it. My evil elf rogue/wizard and the rest of the party were in a cave. The bard (not evil just a bastard) had noticed something in one of the underground pools. Only the barbarian had ranks in swim so I bluffed into saying there was candy at the bottom of the lake (the barbarian was essentially Thog). Barbarian jumps in, drowns cos he was still wearing full armour, and I then proceded to obtain the item at the bottom of the lake with one of my spells (I forget which one). Me and the bard then stole all the barbarians stuff

My favourite part was the players face when he found out he'd just drowned trying to get an item that allows you to breathe underwater.

How low was his CON? and How deep was the Pool? Because he should have been able to hold his breath and let the weight of the armour drop him to the floor of the pool.

psychoticbarber
2007-10-02, 06:48 PM
Psychoticbarber, I'm considering putting the quote from the DMG up if I can find it (please note, this is just a personality thing of mine, and I trust it was your idea...I've been in a similar situation in real life). I know that some people would see it as an insult, or an attempted blow to their morals, or something. No complaints if I put it up (assuming I can find it)?

Nope. I haven't read the 3.5 DM's guide very closely, and I have a feeling that the story has happened a few times. I know I've read it in a Fantasy Hero book for the Hero system, as well as having had it happen in one of my games.

John Campbell
2007-10-02, 10:11 PM
Nethack -- computer game based on 2e. My character is a gnome wizard, with a minimal strength -- 7? We don't have no stinkin' point buy in Nethack-- you play what's rolled and like it.

Oh, we're including nethack deaths here? That's a rich vein of humiliating obituaries.

I had a knight once who died on Turn 1 from slipping and falling while attempting to mount his pony.

I had a rogue who got killed by a newt. Not a floating eye-newt tag team, either, or a newt landing the final blow after something else had done the bulk of the damage... just a straight-up fight with a newt.

I had a wizard who started the game with a ring of polymorph, put it on, and about three steps later, it kicked in and he died of system shock.

I had a promising valkyrie die by choking on a wraith corpse - with an identified amulet of magical breathing in her main inventory and no amulet actually worn.

I've killed myself with the rebound from various combat wands on more than one occasion.

But I think that the most humiliating one was the wizard who died in the Valley of the Dead, while carrying the Eye of the Æthiopica, the Bell of Opening, the Candelabrum of Invocation, two charged wands of wishing, and three amulets of life saving (none of them worn)... because I tried to eat a cockatrice corpse.

And not me, but I once ran across a gravestone on a public server where the epitaph read "... killed by a worthless piece of yellow glass".


Ya see, kicking the chest with such a low con and strength score caused my character HP damage. And I just kept it up until my HP-meter ran to zero. This is Nethack, not D&D 3E - 0 hitpoints means dead-dead, forever (except in rare cases not available to a first-level character).

There's actually no reason you can't have an amulet of lifesaving as a 1st level character. They're not common, but their generation isn't level-limited, so they're just as unlikely to appear on DL 1 as they are on DL 30. I've found stupidly powerful stuff at 1st level on occasion, including major artifact weapons and once a fully-charged wand of wishing (which I turned into my first ascension).


I think my most humiliating D&D death was the insanely tough dwarven fighter who got killed in a fight with three goblins without doing any damage, because I simply could not roll anything higher than a 6 on my d20.

Kyeudo
2007-10-02, 10:28 PM
My most humiliating, and only real, character death ever was my first character. He was eaten alive slowly by kobolds in a desert cave.

Malnourished
2007-10-02, 10:34 PM
Crossing the plains my dwarven sailor and a halfing bard come across a very large and strange plant. We go around it. We go around the next one we see. When we see a third one the bard decides to throw some Alchemist's Fire at it. I didn't see the harm; I can't sneak attack it, but I'm pretty sure that I can outrun it.

Well, it throws up a cloud of acid which reduces our movement to 2 feet/round, which is now much less than the plant can move. Next round it whomps me down to 0, and the conversation the following round was something like:

DM: Does a...
Me: It hits.
DM: Ok, it's trying to grapple. Roll opposed...
Me: It grapples.
DM: Oh. Ok, it's going to try and swallow...
Me: It swallows me.
DM: Oh. Ok. Umm... you're dead.
Me: Yep.

Although the last thing that my character said was something like "Arrrhhhh!" What's worse, I could have gone into full defensive mode, and used Combat Expertise, and Dodge, and probably not have been hit at all.

Joltz
2007-10-03, 12:24 AM
heh, my first was the worst. Several years ago one of my friends got some 3.0 books as a gift. None of us had played D&D before. He got a pre-made adventure from the WoTC site and introduced us.

It was funny because the party had two gnomes and a halfling (me) and nobody had more than 7-8 hp I think. We walked into the kobold infested mines we were investigating and in the first room there was an overturned mine cart with some humanoid legs sticking out from under it. One of the gnomes kicks it >.< It sets off a trap involving a thunderstone that deafens him (he's the only one who failed the save) and alerted every enemy in the dungeon.

We sigh and continue down one of the two passages and come to a door. For some reason or another the rogue (me) ends up opening the door. I made sure to describe how amzingly careful I was as I opened the door. The next room had something lie 6 kobolds with crossbows. They fire in the surprise round and kill us all (knock unconscious and kill later anyway).

We re-tried the dungeon a few times but none of the deaths were as bad as that one (well, maybe the dire weasel... but that was one of the other guys)

Vay
2007-10-03, 01:09 AM
This one's a bit old, but I was a half orc cleric of Pelor, and being an overprotective and well-meaning lug, I tried to hop over the halfling rogue to protect her from arrow fire with my shield. Critical fail occurred, quickly learned a 10 str halfling can't lift a 200 lb half orc in armor and with about 50 lbs in gear.
I looked down at myself after I stood up and my face went: :eek:

Another death, much later into the campaign. There was an enormous sandworm, that not a single person in the battle thought to use a knowledge (nature) or survival check to figure out anything odd about it. My character in this game was a mindflayer paladin, level 3. everyone else was about level 10 or so. Even the druid didn't think to figure out what was up with this worm. My job, being the new character, was to use my fly speed to carry the one party member, a cleric, who couldn't fly, suspending him from about 50 feet of rope a few feet from the ground. Also being the new guy, I was fairly left in the dark as to what were were doing, at least in character. Next thing I knew, my line had a bite...

At the end of battle with the sandworm, the worm exploded violently. That was what we probably should have looked into, as the whole party save for me and the cleric who I had to bring back with a scroll of resurrection while still in the worm, took massive damage, and the wizard was the only one to fail her save. She had a ring of true resurrection she bought, so she came right back, but she was down that ring.

As for my own losses, a sorcerer with a con score of 3. I literally had a door slam in my face for a critical, and bled to death. Made it to level 5 though, with only 1 HP.