My Dm has just ruled that my artificer can make any joke magic item. any suggestions

[pronate]

For example:

A dagger that glows in the presents of one particular goblin.

The cloak of citrus. It's lemon-scented

Bread of nourishment, eating it makes you less hungry and the potion of hydration, which makes you less thirsty. note that neither of these nourish you in anyway.

A ring that makes you invisible to yourself

Gauntlet of unpeeling, let’s you unpeel fruits

Brick of Building: A lone brick in the middle of a field, if you touch it you become a 2nd brick with the same powers

Boots of action, you can use your action to click their heels, and gain an extra action

Boots of weightlessness

Angry shoes

a ring that lets you talk to apples

A ring that makes birds into *******s (metaphorically speaking)

A ring that lets you speak with rugs

A ring of teleportation where you roll a d10 on 10 you and the ring teleport to the intended location on any other roll only the ring teleports

A ring of detect fire with a range of touch


a ring that glows when it detect magic, including itself



Any other you can think of. I need them.

[Kane0]

Ta-da! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?179666-Useless-but-fun-magic-Items)

10char

[Coffee_Dragon]

Anticlimax Wand

Whenever someone begins a villainous speech within 60 feet of you, you can use your reaction to retrieve this wand from your belongings and point it at them. If you do, they end their speech in the middle of the first sentence with an "urk" and drop to zero hit points.

[DrKerosene]

I was going to suggest the Magic Mouth spell, if some gold cost is permissible. Mostly recreating Howler letters from Harry Potter, or making fake evil dolls that talk non-stop.

I’m partial to fake magic weapons that just say words like “SLICE!” or “POW!” or any other old Batman fight “noise” during combats.

A magic mirror that has a few Mouths imbedded in it that say different things, depending on what you ask. (Yes, you do look pretty today.)

[Arkhios]

Energy Drink

You gain 1 Temporary Hit Point each round for 2d4+2 rounds when you drink this potion. The potion's bitter yellow liquid smells of artificial sweeteners and foams rapidly when agitated, risking a rapid burst of spillage afterwards.
If the potion has been agitated within 1 hour, the user may attempt a Dexterity Saving Throw (DC 20) to drink it as a Reaction instead of an Action. If the saving throw fails, the user is covered in sticky liquid and has disadvantage on all attack rolls and ability checks that require using their hands until the user takes a bath.


...basically a watered down healing potion which is rather useless in the long run, because Temporary Hit Points don't stack with each other, unless specifically mentioned (which I didn't! :smallcool:)

Potion of Inebriation

You gain 3d10 Temporary Hit Points for 1 hour when you drink this potion, but you must make a Constitution saving throw (DC 15). On failure the DC increases by 1 and your Dexterity, Intelligence, and Wisdom scores are temporarily reduced by 1d4, and you have disadvantage on attack rolls until you finish a long rest. The potion's brown liquid smells of yeast and foams rapidly when agitated, risking a rapid burst of spillage afterwards, rendering the potion useless. Each subsequent Potion of Inebriation you imbibe after the first stack with each other. However, you can drink a number of Potions of Inebriation equal to 1 + twice your Constitution modifier until you fall unconscious until 8 hours have passed (no save).
If the potion has been agitated within 1 hour, the user may attempt a Dexterity Saving Throw (DC 20) to drink it as a Reaction instead of an Action.

...I doubt this one needs an explanation... :smallbiggrin:

[dragoeniex]

Robe of Concealment: turns any fabric completely covered by it opaque.

Instrument of Silence: songs may be played as normal on this instrument until, as a bonus action, its command word is spoken. It behaves as if the Silence spell had been cast on it for the next 1d10 minutes.

Frostbane: +1 ice-scraper for use on frozen objects. Roll 1d4. On a 2 or higher, Frostbane slips and inflicts 1 hp damage as you finish.

[The Robot Goat]

Off of the top of my head, and trying to think of some things that could actually have a fun mechanical effect:

A knife that has a random chance (50/50) to damage or heal whoever it stabs.

Gloves that let your hands act as feet.

Shoes that let your feet act as hands.

Beer of Sobriety.

A rod that will tell you one lie about whoever you point it at.

+1 Ice-Skates that only work in the desert.

[Kurald Galain]

Ring of Spell Turning. When activated, it loudly (as per 'magic mouth') spells the word 'T-U-R-N-I-N-G'.

[Inculta]

Reversal Dagger that uses 1d4 instead of 1d20 for attack roll and 1s20 instead of 1d4 for damage roll. Take note, that rolling 4 is not critical (not nat 20).
Or Reversal Dagger of Misfortune- apply rules for critical misses when rolling 1 on 1d4

Edit: you can describe it as an extremely strangely designed dagger, that seems to be dull even to penetrate naked human skin, but upon landing a hit target can experience immense pain (or may not, its d20, no guarantees)

[noob]

Note that in 3.5 the ring of invisibility worked the way that was described at the start of the thread.

[DarkKnightJin]

Bag of Fowl Play
A normal Bag of Holding.
With the caveat that whenever you reach in to retrieve something, there is a 50% chance you pull out a live chicken.
The chicken disappears after 1 minute, or if it drops to 0hp.

[Zanthy1]

A dagger that deals 1d4 +(dex or str) damage and heals 1d6

A coin that when flipped makes a loud ping noise

A quill that functions normally except on the second Tuesday of every month

A wooden chair that is as comfortable as a wooden chair with a cushion on it, but without needing the cushion

A wooden plank that when stood upon slides in the direction you're facing. After moving 3 inches it stops and needs to spend 6 hours recharging in direct sunlight

A marble that when held in the mouth makes it difficult to speak clearly

A magic piece of paper that when shown to someone always appears to be a letter giving you permission to be where you are, but in a manner that makes the reader extremely uncomfortable to be around you

A pair of shoes that allow you to walk around a bedroom silently, unless someone is currently sleeping in said bedroom

A rope/wand combination that shoots the rope out 50 feet and connects to something, then slowly pulls you up at a pace of about 1 foot per minute. The rope screams the entire time.

A pellet that when thrown at the ground releases a large cloud of smoke that smells like a Taco Bell fart. After 1 round the cloud forms into an arrow that points at and follows you for 1 hour. Every 30 seconds it shouts "This person farted!" The smell stays until you finish a long rest

A belt that tempts everyone who sees it to want to steal it, but no matter who wears it the belt will always be too small.

[Darc_Vader]

A magic piece of paper that when shown to someone always appears to be a letter giving you permission to be where you are, but in a manner that makes the reader extremely uncomfortable to be around you


I mean if you’re somewhere you aren’t actually supposed to be, people not wanting to be around you is very useful. I would love it if my DM gave me something like this.

[Corsair14]

Helm of Brilliance- used by warrior classes only with very low intelligence. Is a standard metal helm(of DMs choice) with a light bulb on top. DM fiat if party is having some kind of knowledge or common sense related issue they cant solve the bulb will light up and give the warrior the answer. "Duh fellows, maybe its an illooosion." after multiple rounds of fighting a dragon without it taking any damage.

Rug of sMothering- a cursed magic rug that will follow a PC around and give lots of practical advice. "Wash your hands after all you have been messing with.""Did I teach you to eat like a barbarian?" "Careful the edge on that sword is sharp, you don't want to cut yourself." "Did that big bad boy hurt my little shnookems?" It also gets incredibly upset when remove curse is cast to make it go away and will cry and appeal to the PC to let it stay.

[Dr. Cliché]

The Brass Trombone of Invisibility.
A creature may use their Action to play the Brass Trombone of Invisibility. If they do, they are Invisible for as long as they continue to play. They become visible the moment they stop playing.

[noob]

A dagger that deals 1d4 +(dex or str) damage and heals 1d6
specify it works only in active combat or else it will be used to heal between fights and to interrogate opponents and so on.

[Wildarm]

Reverse stat items can be fun for example:

Headband of Zombie Intellect

While attuned your skin takes on a greenish palor and you exude the stench of a dead body. Your intelligence is set to 3. You gain Undead Fortitude: If damage reduces you to 0 hit points, it must make a Constitution saving throw with a DC of 5+the damage taken, unless the damage is radiant or from a critical hit. On a success, you drops to 1 hit point instead.

Gauntlets of Cat Strength

While attuned you grow a long fluffy tail and your eyes and ears become catlike. Your strength is set to 3. You gain Darkvision 60' and Keen Smell: You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Short rests take you twice as long as you feel the urge to fully groom yourself before proceeding.

[noob]

Reverse stat items can be fun for example:

Headband of Zombie Intellect

While attuned your skin takes on a greenish palor and you exude the stench of a dead body. Your intelligence is set to 3. You gain Undead Fortitude: If damage reduces you to 0 hit points, it must make a Constitution saving throw with a DC of 5+the damage taken, unless the damage is radiant or from a critical hit. On a success, you drops to 1 hit point instead.

Gauntlets of Cat Strength

While attuned you grow a long fluffy tail and your eyes and ears become catlike. Your strength is set to 3. You gain Darkvision 60' and Keen Smell: You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Short rests take you twice as long as you feel the urge to fully groom yourself before proceeding.

headband of zombie intellect is a boost for nearly all characters due to the 5E "always dump int no matter what happens" enforcing rule system(only specific spells needs an int save to resist)

[Wildarm]

headband of zombie intellect is a boost for nearly all characters due to the 5E "always dump int no matter what happens" enforcing rule system(only specific spells needs an int save to resist)

Not sure how you run 3 intelligence but at my table it means you have animal level capabilities. You're operating on very basic fight or flight instincts. You can't effectively communicate or use spells. Tools and weapons will be a stretch. I typically give disadvantage on attacks with any martial weapon. You also look and smell like a zombie so it's kinda hard to go around town with it. Anyone who willing tries to (ab)use this is going to learn pretty quickly that it sucks to be a zombie.

[noob]

Not sure how you run 3 intelligence but at my table it means you have animal level capabilities. You're operating on very basic fight or flight instincts. You can't effectively communicate or use spells. Tools and weapons will be a stretch. I typically give disadvantage on attacks with any martial weapon. You also look and smell like a zombie so it's kinda hard to go around town with it. Anyone who willing tries to (ab)use this is going to learn pretty quickly that it sucks to be a zombie.

Does it matters if people were already scared of you because you usually set them on fire and that your whole party is drows and orcs and stuff people hates even more (the average dnd party)?
Also it is not in the rules that low int makes weapon use harder so if you intended that you should have added it to the item.

[Zanthy1]

specify it works only in active combat or else it will be used to heal between fights and to interrogate opponents and so on.

Thats the whole point, you never know if you're gonna damage or heal. 1d4+3 (lets say would be the average modifier) vs. 1d6. More times than not you're dealing more damage than healing. Yes you could stab yourself/your friends in between combats, but theres a good chance you'll heal less than you take.


I mean if you’re somewhere you aren’t actually supposed to be, people not wanting to be around you is very useful. I would love it if my DM gave me something like this.

Could be, but I was more aiming for like, the guard sees your papers and yes they say you have permission to be here but they also say that you like to stick pinecones up your butt or something. Yes you can come backstage, but everyone knows that you're a sick freak. stuff like that.

[noob]

Thats the whole point, you never know if you're gonna damage or heal. 1d4+3 (lets say would be the average modifier) vs. 1d6. More times than not you're dealing more damage than healing. Yes you could stab yourself/your friends in between combats, but theres a good chance you'll heal less than you take.



Could be, but I was more aiming for like, the guard sees your papers and yes they say you have permission to be here but they also say that you like to stick pinecones up your butt or something. Yes you can come backstage, but everyone knows that you're a sick freak. stuff like that.

you forget that most parties will have one member with low aptitude at killing things in melee which will have 8 or less str and thus deal 1d4 damage(-1 if strength modifier is still applied when you have 8 str) and heal 1d6 which on average heals one more hit points than it makes the target lose.
you need 12 in str before statistically harming as much as you heal and with 14 str statistically you harm more than you heal.

[Moltenbrisingr]

This

Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry:

This Cursed Ring is indistinguishable from a ring of spell storing, but has one important difference. When a spellcaster casts any spell while wearing the ring, a sheaf of papers and a quill pen suddenly appear in his hand. The papers are forms that must be filled out in triplicate explaining the effects of the spell, why the wizard wishes to cast it, whether it is for business or pleasure, and so on. The forms must be filled out before the effects of the spell will occur.

The higher the level of the spell cast, the more complicated the forms become. Filling out the forms requires one round per level of spell.

As soon as the papers are filled out, the forms and the pen disappear and the spell effects occur as the spellcaster desired.

The ring cannot be removed willingly. The remove curse or a similar spell must be cast upon the wearer in order to remove the ring.

[TheUser]

The ring of the grammarian is literally the most fun joke item ever.

When you cast a spell you can change one letter of the spell's name to change the spell entirely; the DM determines the effects of the newly named spell.

Example: Cause Fear become Cause Bear

False Life can become False Wife

Feather Fall? Nah Feather Wall!

Earth Tremor? Now it's Earth Trevor.

And that's just level 1 spells.

[Man_Over_Game]

Dagger of Hide and Seek: A dagger that glows while you are hidden. Anything within the glow has Advantage on Perception and Investigation checks to be seen.

A claw of Reaching: It's a skeletal hand and arm that moves when you grab it. Any use of your hand can be applied to the skeletal hand while you hold the arm, and it's just as dexterous and strong as you are. While you hold it, you are treated as having a 6 foot reach.

Scroll of Grease: This scroll seems to be a botched Grease spell, and so it instead seems to ooze a constant supply of oils and sludge. You can wipe it on things and it'll make them greasy, and it's very uncomfortable to handle.

[Wildarm]

Does it matters if people were already scared of you because you usually set them on fire and that your whole party is drows and orcs and stuff people hates even more (the average dnd party)?
Also it is not in the rules that low int makes weapon use harder so if you intended that you should have added it to the item.

I guess we run different D&D games. To each their own. You can add, your character looks and ACTS like a zombie while attuned to the headband. It's meant to be a joke item but better cover all the murder hobo bases I guess.

[Wildarm]

The ring of the grammarian is literally the most fun joke item ever.

When you cast a spell you can change one letter of the spell's name to change the spell entirely; the DM determines the effects of the newly named spell.

Example: Cause Fear become Cause Bear

False Life can become False Wife

Feather Fall? Nah Feather Wall!

Earth Tremor? Now it's Earth Trevor.

And that's just level 1 spells.

Love this. So much!

Log Cloud
Tail of Thorns
Lump
Tasha's Hideous Daughter
Thunderous Smith
Pitch Bolt
Zephyr Stripe
Day of Sickness
Rage Armor
...

Would probably rule that you can only use a grammar change once per 30 days to keep it from becoming a stale gag or abusable.

Officially stealing this idea for a drop in my next campaign session.

[jaappleton]

The Robe of Useful Items

That already exists...

But your name? Your name is Leo Getz.

Whatever you need, Leo Getz!

(You're Joe Pesci's character from Lethal Weapon)

[jaappleton]

Love this. So much!

Log Cloud
Tail of Thorns
Lump
Tasha's Hideous Daughter
Thunderous Smith
Pitch Bolt
Zephyr Stripe
Day of Sickness
Rage Armor
...

Would probably rule that you can only use a grammar change once per 30 days to keep it from becoming a stale gag or abusable.

In the spell Shatter:

Replace 'a' with 'i'.

[Arkhios]

In the spell Shatter:

Replace 'a' with 'i'.

How droll :smalltongue:
Replacing 'a' with 'u' would work too.

[Damon_Tor]

The ring of the grammarian is literally the most fun joke item ever.

When you cast a spell you can change one letter of the spell's name to change the spell entirely; the DM determines the effects of the newly named spell.

Example: Cause Fear become Cause Bear

False Life can become False Wife

Feather Fall? Nah Feather Wall!

Earth Tremor? Now it's Earth Trevor.

And that's just level 1 spells.

Dankness- Like the spell "darkness" but instead of a cloud of darkness, it creates a cloud of odd-smelling smoke which creates a feeling of euphoria.

Catnip- The target becomes extremely attractive to cats for 10 minutes. Every minute 1d4 cats arrive. These cats are charmed by the target.

Plans Shift- When you cast this spell, your plans change. Treat the new plan as if it was the real plan all along. Your allies are immediately aware of the new plan, as if you had discussed it beforehand. Any nonmagical equipment required for the new plan immediately materializes in the backpacks, satchels, pockets or other containers of you and your allies.

[malachi]

The ring of the grammarian is literally the most fun joke item ever.

When you cast a spell you can change one letter of the spell's name to change the spell entirely; the DM determines the effects of the newly named spell.

Dooming Blade
Might
Mage Band
Minor Allusion
Share the Dying
Roll the Dead
Bank
Fine Familiar
Disguise Melf - Wherever Melf is, he changes appearance
Cure Hounds
Defect Evil and Good (and etc.)
Guiding Bola
Inflict Hounds
Warding Band
Animate Deed
Mispel Magic (doesn't really count, except that it was already cast on itself to misspell itself?)
Melf Into Stone - Wherever Melf is, he turns into stone
Sanding
Water Walk -> Water Wall

[Man_Over_Game]

My personal favorite: Commend.

Basically a Help action at range. If the target succeeds, they gain THP equal to the spell slot level.

[Dalebert]

The "someone else's problem" Pot:

Non-loving things placed within this chamber pot appear to vanish but are actually teleported 100 ft in a random direction.

Made a whole adventure around this. A thieve's guild was trying to dispose of body parts with it.

[Damon_Tor]

Wage Armor
Level 1 Transmutation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Touch
Components: V S M (A purse containing at least 100 gold coins, consumed)
Duration: 8 hours

You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective shield of coins surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 10 + its Dexterity modifier with a +1 bonus for every 100 gold coins used as material components. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

[Damon_Tor]

Jimulacrum- Creates a perfect copy of Jim.

[Man_Over_Game]

Wage Armor
Level 1 Transmutation

Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Touch
Components: V S M (A purse containing at least 100 gold coins, consumed)
Duration: 8 hours

You touch a willing creature who isn’t wearing armor, and a protective shield of coins surrounds it until the spell ends. The target’s base AC becomes 10 + its Dexterity modifier with a +1 bonus for every 100 gold coins used as material components. The spell ends if the target dons armor or if you dismiss the spell as an action.

3k gold has never been better spent. Just be a wealthy sorcerer, stand outside of a dungeon (like the Mad Mage's), charge people 5k gold for 8 hours of invulnerability, or 8k for two characters (A bargain!). Turn the game into a Pay To Win subscription simulator.

[The Kool]

I read a few of these, but I have to share my absolute favorite:

Bagpipes of Invisibility. They make you invisible for exactly as long as they are being played. No proficiency required, wail away.

EDIT: Probably should rule that if magically silenced, they do not work. Or that you are rendered invisible to all who hear the bagpipes.

[Dalebert]

Bagpipes of Invisibility.
... Or that you are rendered invisible to all who hear the bagpipes.

Love it! Important to note bagpipes require two hands to operate.

[The Kool]

Love it! Important to note bagpipes require two hands to operate.

Not...technically. You can operate them (badly) with one hand free.

[Laserlight]

Gauntlets of Cat Strength

While attuned you grow a long fluffy tail and your eyes and ears become catlike. Your strength is set to 3. You gain Darkvision 60' and Keen Smell: You have advantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on smell. Short rests take you twice as long as you feel the urge to fully groom yourself before proceeding.

I suspect two of my players would fight over that.

[That House]

Here are some. Some are crap, some are alright.

Glasses of Blindness
Glasses with pieces of rock instead of lenses

Gauntlets of Ogre Manual Dexterity
Giant metal mittens that give a -5 penalty to Sleight of Hand

Pants (or other clothing) of Tightness
Pants (or other clothing) that are always magically slightly too small to wear comfortably

Actually Immovable Rod
When you press the button on the side, it stays at the exact same point in space as the world moves away from it. May be moderately destructive.

Ring of Finger Polishing
Put this ring on your finger and your finger becomes smooth and lustrous, and also emits dim light in a 5-foot radius.

Cloak of Ultimate Stealth
When you don this cloak, you may say its command word. When you do, you immediately hide from everyone, including yourself. You cannot be found. Roll a new character.

Clothes of the Munchkin
These clothes look like the worst, most character aesthetic-ruining outfit imaginable. Edgy rogue in a fantasy setting? It’s a frilly sci fi tutu. Brave and good knight? It’s a spooky spiky villain’s outfit but from a western. However, they do give you a +1 bonus to a save of your choice.

[noob]

Here are some. Some are crap, some are alright.

Glasses of Blindness
Glasses with pieces of rock instead of lenses

Gauntlets of Ogre Manual Dexterity
Giant metal mittens that give a -5 penalty to Sleight of Hand

Pants (or other clothing) of Tightness
Pants (or other clothing) that are always magically slightly too small to wear comfortably

Actually Immovable Rod
When you press the button on the side, it stays at the exact same point in space as the world moves away from it. May be moderately destructive.

Ring of Finger Polishing
Put this ring on your finger and your finger becomes smooth and lustrous, and also emits dim light in a 5-foot radius.

Cloak of Ultimate Stealth
When you don this cloak, you may say its command word. When you do, you immediately hide from everyone, including yourself. You cannot be found. Roll a new character.

Clothes of the Munchkin
These clothes look like the worst, most character aesthetic-ruining outfit imaginable. Edgy rogue in a fantasy setting? It’s a frilly sci fi tutu. Brave and good knight? It’s a spooky spiky villain’s outfit but from a western. However, they do give you a +1 bonus to a save of your choice.
Try avoiding too powerful joke items: the actually immovable rod is quite dangerous and allows easy space exploration if you can survive it.
The cloak of ultimate stealth is really useful for some assassination of mislead-able people but is more balanced than the rod.

[That House]

Dooming Blade
Might
Mage Band
Minor Allusion
Share the Dying
Roll the Dead
Bank
Fine Familiar
Disguise Melf - Wherever Melf is, he changes appearance
Cure Hounds
Defect Evil and Good (and etc.)
Guiding Bola
Inflict Hounds
Warding Band
Animate Deed
Mispel Magic (doesn't really count, except that it was already cast on itself to misspell itself?)
Melf Into Stone - Wherever Melf is, he turns into stone
Sanding
Water Walk -> Water Wall

Dooming Blade: your sword now spouts grim prophecies
Might: the target becomes strong
Mage Band: a bunch of impossibly old wizards appear, dressed in punk/metal clothing. One plays the keyboard, one plays the drums, one plays bass, and the lead singer plays guitars
Minor Allusion: you get a very small, obscure hint
Share the Dying: every non-stabilized creature at 0 or less hit points is teleported to a random other creature who’s feeling kind of lonely right now.
Roll the Dead: every corpse within 1 mile rolls 30 feet in a random direction, including down or up
Bank: you open a bank. It functions like a normal bank. It currently contains no money. There’s nothing magical about this bank.
Fine Familiar: your familiar (or someone else’s) hands over 1 gp
Cure Hounds: every person who is suffering from dogs is cured of dogs (if they don’t want dogs around, the dogs go somewhere else)
Defect Evil and Good (and etc.): all alignments are swapped. ALL OF THEM. EVERYWHERE. Chaotic becomes lawful, good becomes evil.
Guiding Bola: a bola appears and gives you the effects of the guidance spell
Inflict Hounds: the target begins to suffer from dogs (they don’t want dogs, but the dogs are here to stay)
Warding Band: the nearest band consisting of three or more bards (or wizards summoned by the mage band spell) is compelled to give their lives in defense of you
Sanding: literally just gives you a piece of sandpaper

[JakOfAllTirades]

Flaming Bagpipes. When played, fire erupts from these pipes. May cast Burning Hands in a random direction once per Short Rest.

[Man_Over_Game]

The real challenge is making sure these grammatically modified spells are in-line with their original spell levels. Sanding, for example, must be as powerful as any other level 3 spell. Perhaps as a Burning Hands cone effect, with a knockback if you fail and Difficult Terrain left in its wake.

[The Kool]

Actually Immovable Rod
When you press the button on the side, it stays at the exact same point in space as the world moves away from it. May be moderately destructive.

In one game I played, the magic of the world was... screwy. Someone used an immovable rod, and found that everything in direct contact with the rod when activated became similarly immovable. Most notably, this usually just meant your hand. And your fingers. Which you might have used to deactivate it. Oh and good luck with that, the button to deactivate it is also immovable.

[Torpin]

a pistol that yells BANG when fired

[ATHATH]

This

Ring of Bureaucratic Wizardry:

This Cursed Ring is indistinguishable from a ring of spell storing, but has one important difference. When a spellcaster casts any spell while wearing the ring, a sheaf of papers and a quill pen suddenly appear in his hand. The papers are forms that must be filled out in triplicate explaining the effects of the spell, why the wizard wishes to cast it, whether it is for business or pleasure, and so on. The forms must be filled out before the effects of the spell will occur.

The higher the level of the spell cast, the more complicated the forms become. Filling out the forms requires one round per level of spell.

As soon as the papers are filled out, the forms and the pen disappear and the spell effects occur as the spellcaster desired.

The ring cannot be removed willingly. The remove curse or a similar spell must be cast upon the wearer in order to remove the ring.
I'd definitely wear that ring voluntarily.

Every day during the week before I go adventuring, I'd expend all of my spell slots casting spells and then partially fill out all of their forms such that each spell's forms would be one round of filling out away from completion.

Then, during my short adventuring period, I'd fill out one of the forms I had for, say, Fireball and cast the spell from it in the middle of combat. This tactic (strategy? exploit?) would not only let me cast a week's worth of spells in a single day, but also let me bring the casting times of spells with long casting times (such as Planar Binding, which becomes much better if you can cast it in a single round in the middle of combat) down to a single round.

Even if I can't partially fill out the forms ahead of time, I can still stockpile them for later usage, allowing me to cast pretty much as many spells as I please outside of combat. Inside of combat, I can fire off 100 attack cantrips in a single round to instantly obliterate anyone who dares to oppose me as soon as my turn comes around (the forms of 0th level spells would have a "filling out" time of 0 rounds, you see).

This is basically Coffeelock: The Ring.

[ATHATH]

Plans Shift- When you cast this spell, your plans change. Treat the new plan as if it was the real plan all along. Your allies are immediately aware of the new plan, as if you had discussed it beforehand. Any nonmagical equipment required for the new plan immediately materializes in the backpacks, satchels, pockets or other containers of you and your allies.
"I plan to buy everything in this shop!"
A million gold pieces appear in the sack that the caster is dragging around behind themselves.
"Nice!"

[Finback]

Rubber chicken with a pulley inside it.

It's not magical, but might be useful in some specific situation.

[noob]

I'd definitely wear that ring voluntarily.

Every day during the week before I go adventuring, I'd expend all of my spell slots casting spells and then partially fill out all of their forms such that each spell's forms would be one round of filling out away from completion.

Then, during my short adventuring period, I'd fill out one of the forms I had for, say, Fireball and cast the spell from it in the middle of combat. This tactic (strategy? exploit?) would not only let me cast a week's worth of spells in a single day, but also let me bring the casting times of spells with long casting times (such as Planar Binding, which becomes much better if you can cast it in a single round in the middle of combat) down to a single round.

Even if I can't partially fill out the forms ahead of time, I can still stockpile them for later usage, allowing me to cast pretty much as many spells as I please outside of combat. Inside of combat, I can fire off 100 attack cantrips in a single round to instantly obliterate anyone who dares to oppose me as soon as my turn comes around (the forms of 0th level spells would have a "filling out" time of 0 rounds, you see).

This is basically Coffeelock: The Ring.
A cantrip counts as a level 1/2 spell in order to avoids a division by zero or a multiplication by 0 in 3.5 crafting rules.
Sadly it is often considered level 0 for other purposes.

[DarkKnightJin]

The ring of the grammarian is literally the most fun joke item ever.

When you cast a spell you can change one letter of the spell's name to change the spell entirely; the DM determines the effects of the newly named spell.

Example: Cause Fear become Cause Bear

False Life can become False Wife

Feather Fall? Nah Feather Wall!

Earth Tremor? Now it's Earth Trevor.

And that's just level 1 spells.

And now I want to make this item a thing to see what my players come up with..

[DevilMcam]

I once gave my player a "tome of evil minion summoning" aka "tome of the cat".
Most of what is written into it doesn't make sense, and whenever 9 pages are turned (whatever the pages or direction) a random cat appears from where it would make the most sense and sit/lay/nap on the book making further reading impossible.
if you try to move the cat, or attack it it hisses at you runs away and disappear before you can touch it.

[Wildarm]

And now I want to make this item a thing to see what my players come up with..

I've got a conjuration wizard in my group that loves to get creative so I'm handing this out next session. Going to make it usable by any spellcaster, not require attunement and usable 1/LR. Will give it with the caveat that the effect of the spell might change casting to casting even if you make the same grammar change. Bending magic out of shape tends to cause a bit of chaos.

[JakOfAllTirades]

I once gave my player a "tome of evil minion summoning" aka "tome of the cat".
Most of what is written into it doesn't make sense, and whenever 9 pages are turned (whatever the pages or direction) a random cat appears from where it would make the most sense and sit/lay/nap on the book making further reading impossible.
if you try to move the cat, or attack it it hisses at you runs away and disappear before you can touch it.

I want one!

[Dalebert]

Not...technically. You can operate them (badly) with one hand free.

I would insist these must be played with two to work. Otherwise they risk being actually effective.