Team Ready, Aim, Fire! IX

[Lord Herman]

Hello, and welcome to the ninth game of the team-based spin-off of Silkenfist's Ready, Aim, Fire!

The theme for this game will be The Jungle. One one side, we will have a British Archaeological Expedition, and on the other, The Perils of the Jungle. Perils can be anything from wild animals to pygmies. Archaeologists can be... well, any archaeologist. The expedition is mostly British, but if you don't like tea and crumpets, you can also choose to be of another nationality. The game is set around the year 1900.

Registration is open until Saturday, 18:00 GMT. If you want to join a specific team, please specify which one. If you don't specify a team, I will add you to a random team.

The Rules:
The rules are like those of the standard game (linky!), with a few additions:
1. The players are divided into two or more teams.
1a. At recruitment, the players specify their preferred team.
1b. Players who don't specify a team will be placed in a random team.
1c. If one team has more members than the other(s), I will randomly move players around. I'll first try to even it out with the players who didn't specify a team.
2. You can not shoot players on your own team.
3. If your team is the only one left standing, you win. There are no individual victories in this game - only victories as a team.

There are also some rules that aren't critical to the gameplay but are important nonetheless:
1. You can only send one action at a time. You can't send actions in advance.
2. The sign-up period is four days, and each round takes three days.
3. When there are only a few players left, each round takes only two days, or sometimes even one. Usually, I just wait for everyone to submit their action and then write the round as soon as possible.
Previous Games:
I - The Trojan War - Winner: Trojans
II - Star Wars - Winner: Rebels
III - Superheroes - Winner: Heroes
IV - Pirates - Winner: Navy
V - Samurai - Winner: Ninja
VI - Romans - Winner: Romans
VII - Starcraft - Winner: Protoss
VIII - Wild West - Winner: Outlaws
The Auto-Notify List:
Akaziel
Almighty Salmon
Baboon Army
Bitzeralisis
Bookboy
Captain van der Decken
DarkCorax
DarkLightDragon
Destro Yersul
Dr. Bath
Draken
dun-dun-DUUN
Ezlo
Firepup
Fleeing Coward
Fredricus
huyneo
HyramGraff
Ink
Kasz
Khaldan
Mad Wizard
purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
radikalskippy
Raiser B1ade
RocketBard
Shadow
Stu42
Vampiric
weebl

If you want to be added to the list, just post here and ask. Remember, you'll still have to register for the game - people on the list just get a PM to notify them that registration has started.
For a list of trophies and their winners, go here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html).

[Raeden]

First!

This time, I'll bring a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat as one of the expedition members.

[Almighty Salmon]

Second!

Jungle eh? this'll be great.

Opposite team of Fleeing Coward please.

[Baboon Army]

I'm in, hired by the British Archaeological Expedition as a guide.

[CurlyKitGirl]

[toffeenosedaccent] Well my old fellow. It does seem such a shame that one hasn't been invited on this expedition. One must know how much I enjoy shooting endangered animals and looting old tombs.[/toffeeenoseaccent]

Yep, I'm a Brit all right.

[eidreff]

Never let it be said that the Victorian spirit of adventure has dimmed. Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill was overjoyed to offer his sponsorship and many manly skills to such a philanthropic expedition.

[DraPrime]

I'll be a jungle terror. A furry pair of sword-chucks if you please.

[DarkCorax]

So in as a British Archaeologist!

[HyramGraff]

I'll join a random team.

[Atreyu the Masked LLama]

Rar!! Am I the loyal pack animal brought along to carry the equipment or the dreaded Tree LLama of the Jungle? That's up to Lord Herman, but either way, I'm in.

[Draken]

Ah, the jungle, filled with wonders and dangers.

Like, in this case, the danger of a giant lizard lurking bellow the calm waters.

Peril of the jungle.

*lurking bellow the waters*

[Captain van der Decken]

OOh, can I be in the archaelogical expedition?

[Castaras]

Jungle peril - The Great Pie...

Lurking in the jungles, eyes watching...

[FoE]

I'm interested in joining, though I'd appreciate if someone either posted or PM'ed me an abbreviated explanation of the rules. (Is this free-form? :smallconfused:)

I'm also willing to join whichever side; although I've always wanted to play (and am well-suited to the part of) a spear-wielding cannibal, I can't resist the allure of being able to constantly repeat the phrase, "I say, old chap, I believe we're in a spot of trouble."

[Vampiric]

Rules are at the top, FoE. They aren't long. And it's not free-form in the traditional meaning.

Jungle for me, please. I shall be the Vampiric Pixie, as shown here... (http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h24/solarturtle/pixie.png)

[Zar Peter]

I'm the surveyor of the expedition, of course.

[huyneo]

cool....
i shall be on the jungles' side
I will be a monkey with a rocket launcher..
I stole it OK!?

[Korias]

Eh. Sign me up!

[Studoku]

Tea and crumpets? I'm on the archaeologist team. Smoking a pipe of course.

Actually I'll be a chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists.

[Therarde]

I'll be a peril. I want to be a vine trap. :D

[Indurain]

I actually have a preference of side this time!!

I want to be a Pitfall (http://dadrants.files.wordpress.com/2007/03/pitfall.gif).

[Skippy]

I'm in. I'm Skippy, the bush kangaroo. Any team is OK

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

As always, you can't get rid of me! Perils, please.

I'll be a discarded remnant of some ancient and highly-advanced society, my ancient metal husk long ago 'reclaimed' by the Rainforest, yet still partially functional and incredibly dangerous.

Or, for short, Lost Technology. It's a valid Peril of any semi-fictional Jungle.

[pingcode20]

In, either side this time.

[Traveling_Angel]

Shouldn't... ah, screw it.

I'll take the Archaeologist with a whip and revolver. :smallbiggrin:

[Fleeing Coward]

In
The Cowardly Lion goes to hide in the jungle.

[Ezlo]

Jungle please... I'll be a Dire Plate of Meatloaf.:smallbiggrin:

[Kantur]

Random team please.

[PirateMonk]

I'll be a tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid. Peril, obviously.

[alec]

I'm in. Random team this time, I can't decide which I'd rather be on for this.

[Ink]

I'll play. Any team would be fine.

[Bitzeralisis]

British Expedition, as "Blizzard"

[Krursk]

Damn, Indy stole my idea of being a hole in the ground. Well, I'm still in as a peril

[Destro_Yersul]

What ho, what ho! Professor Destro, reporting for duty old chaps. Pith helmet and all.

[pingcode20]

Alright, put me down as a peril.

I shall be: The Fake Difficulty Boss! *DUN DUN DUN!*

You must attack my weak point, but to do that you must not have opened the chest in Room 4-2 six dungeons ago and gone through the cleverly concealed secret exit in the previous room that was actually past the exit out, and not visible on any maps. However, if you flooded the room too early, the secret entrance becomes closed forever and you cannot get the secret clue that tells you what the weak point is, and if you didn't get the secret clue the weakpoint doesn't work, to prevent cheaters from just looking up a guide.

However, after you score a single hit on the weak point, it changes to another point that can only be reached using the normally useless ability from an item gotten only if you completed an escort mission and then returned exactly 3 days later to get the item, which only lasts for 2 hours and works only once. When you hit that weakpoint, you must then complete a 13 step Dance Dance Revolution sequence with no mistakes using the action buttons on the right of the control pad instead of the intuitive arrow keys - naturally, you are required to discover this by talking to a random shopkeeper 235 times and then going to another completely random person who offers to sell you a negative status effect. You must wait for the status effect to wear off and then go back to the shopkeeper and buy a cure for the status effect (if you already have one the sequence is broken and you must start again) then talk to him twenty times, at which point the shopkeeper will turn into a monster. Instead of killing the monster, you must use exactly 12 healing items on it then attempt to run from it 20 times in a row, at which point it will succeed and you will get a clue that you are supposed to use the buttons on the right of the controller.

Once you have completed the DDR sequence the boss dies and a countdown timer of exactly 10 minutes pops up and you must run from the dungeon. However, when you get to the exit it is blockaded unless you killed the left enemy of two identical enemies in a second secret room at the beginning of the game and then ran from the other, in which case the one you didn't kill will show up now and clear the blockage in exchange for a pin that you needed to get by trading the blue ball with the seal instead of any of the useful items that could have been gotten with the ball instead.

Naturally, the closest save point was when you first entered the dungeon.

[Fredricus]

I'll join. Random team here!

[banjo1985]

I'm in again!

Jungle team as a choking vine for me please!

[Almighty Salmon]

Fleeing Coward is a cowardly lion eh?

In that case, could i be a Lion Tamer please? :smalltongue:

[Akaziel]

In as an Archaeologist. Specifically, the guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"

[Freshmeat]

Sign me up for the expedition. As a Brit, I'll bring along a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle.

[Terumitsu]

Randomize me... The last one was fun.

[Shadow]

I'm in as a pool of quicksand! random jungle hazard #82!

[Calamity]

I say! Put me down the archaeologists team, old chap. I brought 700 cups of tea!

[Kiwi Queen]

I'll be a peril of the jungle. The evil rabid Kiwi is out to get you! *evil laugh of doom* If nobody noticed, I like kiwis. ^.^

[Raiser Blade]

I'm in on the losing team this time.

[huyneo]

Cool we have 42 people in this... about
:D

[Khaldan]

OMIGOD in! perils!

[pingcode20]

@Lord Herman: Hmm, I seem to be on there twice. Okay, I put the Pingcode20 that was on 'random' in the Brits side, so I can shoot myself and shoot myself. :smalltongue:

[Lord Herman]

Oops, I hadn't noticed that you were already on the list. I'll remove you from the random list.

[RocketBard]

I'll be in for the Archaeologists as a homicidal robot.

[Hoggy]

Either a British One-Eyed Pirate Donkey, or a wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey. LET THE RANDOM DECIDE!

[Mad Wizard]

Put me on the Archaeologists.

[Hexed]

I volunteer for the Archeology expidition as a khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey* groom.

*whatever is present.

[pingcode20]

Argh, there's so many fun perils I could use!

Somebody do the Vorpal bunny! Somebody do the Black Knight! (NONE SHALL PASS!) Somebody do the Castle Anthrax!

...

ARGH!

But a fake difficulty boss would be so fun too...

"NO! My only weakness! You must have used an internet guide! You have defeated me, scum, but know now that your random encounters will multiply in difficulty threefold and you can no longer possess the Infinity Plus One sword!"

[androgial]

ill sign up as the PREDATOR(tm) for a jungle peril

[Dr. Bath]

Corking idea, my good man! I shall venture forth to shoot any number of rare and most likely endangered animal to impress the chaps at the reform club, what.

Tally ho!

[Ezlo]

After this you sometime should do Party of Adventurers vs Dungeon Perils. 1,000d6 Spiked Pit Trap of Meatloaf here I come!

[Lord Herman]

“I say! What are all these trees for, then?” says Lord Eidreff. Dr Bath leafs through a little book. “Ah, there. Astounding! It would seem that trees are, in fact, one of the defining features of a jungle.” “Good heavens! Well, then we’d best leave our skis behind. Not much use for those with so many trees around.” “Good idea. Oh, and Eidreff?” “Yes?” “My book also says it’s quite warm here.” “You don’t say,” says Eidreff, wiping the sweat off his brow. “So I don’t think we’ll be needing our fur coats after all.” “Anything else we should know before heading into the wild?” “Well, it would be a good idea to know which way we should go.” “Best ask the guide, then.” “Guide?” “Oh dear, you didn’t hire a guide?” “I’m awfully sorry, but I was under the impression that you would.” “Oh, never mind. Look there, a local! Let’s ask him.”

The small hairy figure gives the two gentlemen a puzzled look. Dr Bath coughs, and says: “Good afternoon, my good man. Could you please point us to the lost temple of Acki-Acki-Acki?” “Uhm, Eidreff, I don’t think the man speaks English.” “Not to worry. My book has a list of useful phrases in many native languages. Ah, here. ‘Où est le temple d'Acki-Acki-Acki?’” The native raises his brow, and says “Ook? Eek eek ook!” “What is he saying, doctor?” “I’m not sure... he either wants to sell us a tomato, or his grandmother is on fire.” “Are you sure your book’s translation is entirely accurate?” “Maybe it would be best if we used simple sign language instead.” The doctor points at the jungle, and asks in a slow, loud voice: “Acki-Acki-Acki?” The native scratches his head, says “Ook!”, and heads off into the jungle. “Good work, doctor. Come, let’s follow that helpful little man!”

[Lord Herman]

Archaeologists
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
DarkCorax
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
Dr. Bath
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Face of Evil
Fredricus
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Ink
Mad Wizard
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver
Zar Peter - Surveyor

Perils
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Indurain - Pitfall
Kantur
Khaldan
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Krursk
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Tuesday, 18:00 GMT.

[huyneo]

oh it is so on now!

[DraPrime]

And so it begins...

[androgial]

ALL YOUR EXPLORER ARE BELONG TO US YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME

this message brought to you by the jungle perils liberation front liberating jungle perils from harmful removal by explorers since 10AD

[Skippy]

So, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo is a danger of the jungle, huh? OK, then let's begin with the hopping!

[Dr. Bath]

Hooray for being an opening character!

But you forgot the age-old means of British communication: Speaking louder and slower, eg
"WHICH WAY TO THE BIG TEMPLE PLACE, MY SLIGHTLY SMELLY MAN!!" *gesticulates wildly*

and not reading things properly. Sorry.

[eidreff]

*Clears throat and claps hands to get attention*

Thank you, ladies, gentlemen and erm, penguins...

I would just like to say to all of you how wonderful it is that you have all volunteered for this expedition. The treasures that we loot rescue from the depths of the jungle will fetch a fine price be invaluable to our friends at the British Museum.

Myself and the good Doctor would like to propose a toast, *raises a huge hipflask full of brandy and takes an enormous wig*.. ah..*passes around whole expedition team* .. Chin chin, lets get this jolly old show on the road and show these jungle blighters how we dig up treasures in good old Britain eh!

[Dr. Bath]

"Don't forget the animal specimens we must procure, old chap. If not for the natural history museum, then to look good over my fireplace!"

*Dr Bath wipes his brow with a handkerchief and pulls out a blunderbus*

[Shadow]

Branches rustle and a shadow descends over Dr. Bath as Random Jungle Hazard #82 stalks silently towards it's prey....

[Studoku]

Explorer team has more penguins. Therefore, we win.

[Vampiric]

We're the only team with a Pixie (vampiric), a Random Encounter, Skippy the bush kangaroo, a Dire Plate of Meatloaf, a lion and Predator.

Booyah to your humans! and pack animals.

:smalltongue:

:smallamused:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Somewhere in the jungle before them, ancient gears jerk into motion in anticipation. Meter thick tree roots are ground to nothing as something dark and prehistoric grinds to blackened half-life in the depths of the Jungle, ancient processes beginning again their long forgotten procedures as it waits in the shadows of this feral place for forgotten prey to come within it's grasp.

[Korias]

Korias is a Murloc with a nasty attitude.
Let the games begin...

[Raeden]

Lagging somewhat behind, Raeden covers the logo of the Great British Circus on his Mobile Cagetrap before pulling it allong, catching up with the rest of the group. Arriving there, he gets a hipflask of brandy and a lot of strange looks from the other expedition members. Whether this is because of the huge contraption he is pulling allong on a string, as if he was walking a dog, or because of his brightly coloured expedition helmet he didn't know, nor did it matter, because his plan was failsafe.

[banjo1985]

Somewhere in the jungle, a long vine begins to sway and move, despite the stillness of the air. In expectation of the explorers arrival, it curls it's free end up into a noose.

[Ezlo]

Somewhere in the jungle, a plate of meatloaf comes out of the oven; not sure why it can think.

[Hexed]

The groom smiles as he walks past the assorted horses, donkeys and camels. "Ahh, good to be off again, not? Some adventure!". The smile fades a bit as he approaches the newest member of the pack herd, a llama called Atreyu. The owner had assured him it wasn't a spitting type, but then, they said that about the camels as well.... He gives the animal an experimental pat, ready to dodge.

[Therarde]

And some long-forgotten trap made out of a vine lies in wait somewhere in a random place in the jungle.

[eidreff]

Ahh the groom is here. So my good man, have you loaded the pack beasts? saddled the riding animals? polished the shiny impractical bits of tack?

Good, very good.

*retreives flask (much emptier thank you) of brandy, draws a pistol and waves is randomly and worryingly in the air.*

Onwards friends, oh and Doctor, isn't that a truly rare and endargered species in that tree? It'd look truly impressive above the fire dontcherthink?

[CurlyKitGirl]

"Oh I say. Frightfull hot here isn't it? Perhaps one should have brought some cool clothing. Oh, well. One must do ones best. I say, Dr. Bath, would you care for some tiffin? it's absolutly spiffing to have in warm weather too. And some crumpets? Or perhaps you would prefer clotted cream and jam scones; I had the man servant bring some of each." spoke Curly, a well-spoken grduate of Oxford on her first expedition. "I also took the liberty of bringing several rifles. When are we hunting?"

[Dr. Bath]

"I'd say right about now, m'dear!" Dr Bath fires his blunderbus at a suspicious looking tree and also the air. A few moments later a rhino falls out of the tree.
"Jolly good show!" he exclaims and wanders off in the opposite direction.

[Almighty Salmon]

"Good shot my man, Good shot! but how did a rhino get up there..?" The lion tamer puts on his top hat, fake moustache and equips his whip. "Now.. have you seen any lions around here that i can supposedly tame and place my head in their mouth? If so let me know!" He wanders off into a random directions searching for any.

[DraPrime]

A pair of furry sword-chucks swing from tree to tree, looking for victims. It sees some crazy lion tamer guy, and pounces on him "Bad tamer!"

[FoE]

"I say, dreadfully hot out today, isn't it?"

Abram Buttersworth takes off his safari hat and wipes his brow with a hankerchief carefully retrieved from his jacket. He removes his thick glasses and gives them a wipe as well before putting them back on.

Buttersworth is a fat, round man of average height. In his youth, his weight and his rather unfortunate name earned him the nickname of "Butterball" by his cruel classmates at the Farmingham School for Young Boys.

Buttersworth is not much of an explorer and has little academic credentials; he has no academic credential and hoists the large elephant rifle on his back as though it were an object from another planet. Back in glorious old England, he was actually a moneylender. He was a bachelor in his late thirties with a nice home, a respectable practice and few worries.

In short, he was as boring as cold soup.

And then an old classmate approached him about funding for this expedition. And for the first time in his dreary little life, Butterball felt the pull of adventure, and asked to join.

Now, with the heat of the jungle causing sweat to drain from every pore and a thousand mosquitoes buzzing around his head, Buttersworth wishes for nothing more to be back home, sipping tea and thanking God for getting him out of this accursed jungle.

Buttersworth eyes the gibbering native suspiciously — one can't trust these local savages, after all. Although he is a timid man and not one for speaking up, Buttersworth's paranoia wins out over his cowardice.

"I say, fellows, can we really trust this chap? We should make our own way into the jungle. We are men of England, after all; what can one dirty savage tell us that we can't find out for ourselves?"

But it is too late: his words fall on deaf ears (partly because he's such a bothersome little oaf). Instead, Buttersworth sighs and follows the rest of the expedition into the jungle.

When the first peril appears, Buttersworth howls in terror and falls flat on his face, weeping and praying for salvation.

[Dr. Bath]

"Chin up my good fellow! Best foot forward and all that. Now don't you worry, we'll back in old London town before you can say 'God save the Queen'." Dr. Bath looks at his pocket-watch which upon closer inspection is broken. "Now, who's up for a spot of tea!"

[eidreff]

Don't mind if I do old bean? *loud whisper*(enough to be heard half amile away) I've brought scones and some biscuits made by dear old Jemima my old nurse for the trip. Has anybody brought some cream and jam?

*wanders over to the rhinoceros and prods it*

That was a jolly good shot Doctor, if i don't say so myself. Good eating on one of these too! Anyone for steak?

[Lord Herman]

It's been 17:00, so I should start writing now. Unfortunately, I'm not feeling too well, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to put it off until tomorrow. The deadline for submitting actions is now 'when I start writing', so those of you who haven't submitted their actions yet can still do so.

[eidreff]

@^

Buck up old chap! Hope you'll be well soon!

Try one of nursy's scones, just pick out the worms and you'll feel better right away!

@v How dashed frightfully mean. I shall just have to ask nursy to bake some more!

[DraPrime]

Furry sword-chucks descend from the sky and eviscerate the scones.

[Lord Herman]

I'm writing now.

[huyneo]

Castaras! Stop stabbing Herman!
:furious:

[Lord Herman]

must... *cough* finish... the story...


I had a bad case of writer's block yesterday, followed by a bad case of forgetting to finish the story. But it's almost done now.

[Lord Herman]

Lord Eidreff taps Baboon Army on the shoulder. “Excuse me, is it very far to the lost temple of Acki-Acki-Acki?” “Ook!” “Well, I’m awfully sorry, but we’ve been walking for hours now, and I was hoping we’d be there by now.” The guide sighs, and says: “Ook eek ook!” “Ah, I see! Jolly good!” Eidreff turns to the other archaeologists, and says: “Well, chaps, it seems we’re almost there. The guide tells me the temple must be somewhere around here. I suggest we split up, so we can search a larger area. Oh, and if any of you find yourself in a spot of trouble, remember our code signal.” “Code signal?” asks CurlyKitGirl. “Oh, that’s right, I hadn’t told you yet. The good doctor read in his book that it’s a good idea to have a code signal in case there’s trouble. We’ve decided that our code signal will be shouting ‘help’ very loudly.”

Calamity and Ink head off to the north. “Ink, old chap, do you think we’ll encounter any wild animals?” “Don’t be silly, Calamity. Wild animals live in zoos, not in the wilderness.” “Oh, right.” Suddenly, a sloth drops out of a tree and falls on Calamity’s head. “Aaah! It’s a wild animal! Kill it! Kill it!” Ink grabs his rifle, and shoots Terumitsu. “Phew, that was close,” says Calamity. “I wonder what it was doing here,” says Ink. “Probably escaped from the local zoo.” “Aaah!” “What is it?” “Another wild animal!” Calamity points at the kangaroo that’s just hopped out of the bushes. “Nonsense, Calamity, that’s not a wild animal. It’s a kangaroo. They’re domesticated.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, of course. Look, you can even pet them.” “Uhh, Ink?” says Calamity as the kangaroo kicks Ink in the face, breaking his neck, “I think this one’s wild.”

A monkey sits high up in a tree, watching the small group of archaeologists walking below. He carefully aims his rocket launcher, and fires. Unfortunately, he’s holding the rocket launcher backwards, and the rocket hits the tree, blowing the monkey to bits. “I say,” says CurlyKitGirl, looking up, “what was that sound?” But as she’s looking up, she is no longer looking where’s she’s going, and walks right into the maw of a tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid. Baboon Army shrieks and climbs a tree, where he encounters another monkey. Alec tries to bush Baboon Army off the branch, but loses his footing and falls right in front of Atreyu, who spits him to death.

“How far is it to the mountain?” asks Lord Eidreff. “Just a minute,” says Zar Peter, looking through his surveying telescope machine, “I’m trying to get a triangulation. There seems to be something in the way.” “I think it’s the monster that ate Curly.” “By Jove, it is! Let’s get it out of the way, then.” Peter draws his bush knife, and proceeds to cut the tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid to tiny bits. “Right, that’s... by god, Eidreff, behind you!” “What?” says Eidreff, as he turns around to face the off-screen peril. His wild movement startles the peril, which is knocked off a conveniently located cliff. “Oh, it’s gone now. Well, let’s continue, then. Not time to waste!”

“Where’s that llama off to now?” says Hexed. “Don’t panic,” says Dr. Bath, “let’s see what the book has to say about it. Here. ‘When in search of an animal, wander around shouting the animal’s name, with no regard for personal safety.’ Sounds like a good idea. ATREYU!” “ATREYU!” shouts Hexed. “ATREYU!” shouts Almighty Salmon. “EXTERMINATE!” shouts RocketBard. “Wait!” says Dr. Bath, “I see an animal!” “Where? Where?” asks Almighty Salmon. “EXTERMINATE!” shouts RocketBard. “Be quiet, RocketBard. Look, there it is,” he says, pointing at a donkey. “And it’s got an eyepatch, too! It’ll look great above the fireplace, don’t you think?” The doctor grabs his blunderbuss, and starts shooting at the donkey, killing five birds, two monkeys, and the last of an endangered kind of guinea pig. Hexed draws his revolver and kills Hoggy with a single shot. He looks at Dr. Bath, and shrugs: “Wouldn’t want the other animals to get any ideas. Animals in the wild? It’s not natural.” “Speaking of wild animals,” says Dr. Bath, “there’s another one!” The doctor points at a lion, that looks up and runs away. “After it!” says Almighty Salmon, the lion tamer. “This one’s mine!” “EXTERMINATE!” shouts RocketBard, and follows him. The lion tamer quickly catches up with the lion, and reaches for his whip. “Oh dear, I must have left it on the boat,” he says, before being eaten alive. And then dead.

Meanwhile, RocketBard, who couldn’t keep up with Almighty Salmon, is lost in the jungle. “EXTERMINATE!” he shouts, but no-one answers. As he stands around, waiting for help, a vine hanging from a tree above him starts moving. It wraps itself around the robot’s neck, and raises it up into the tree, trying to choke it. Unfortunately, RocketBard is too heavy. The vine snaps, and the robot falls out of the tree and explodes.

Dr. Bath wanders around, looking for the lion tamer and the robot. Suddenly, he finds himself face to face with Korias. “My goodness! It’s... perilous!” The doctor grabs his blunderbuss, but Korias knocks it out of the doctor’s hands and eats it. “Oh dear. Maybe this would be a good time to use the secret code signal. A-hem. HELP! HELP!” And as the monster advances toward him, he says: “Thank god for Clarence Scamworth and his Gentleman’s Guide to Survival in the Wilderness.”

Kantur, the tiger who has been placed on the wrong continent due to poor research by the narrator, is stalking through the jungle. He sees something moving up ahead, so he sprints toward it and devours it. By the time he realises it was a dire meatloaf, he’s already dying a horrible meatloafy death.

“I say, old chap, what are we looking for?” asks Professor Destro. “Roman ruins, my good man,” says Fredricus. “Uh, Fredricus?” says DarkCorax, “How are you planning to find Roman remains in South America?” “I suppose they’re marked,” says Fredricus. “Makes sense,” says Destro, “they’d be daft not to mark such an important archaeological site. What do you think, Abram, old bean?” “I don’t know,” he whines, “I don’t like it here. It’s hot and damp and there’s bugs everywhere. I just want to go home!” “Ha ha, he’s such a joker, our old Abram,” says Fredricus. “Come, I think I saw a tour guide somewhere over there.”

Akaziel, Freshmeat, and Captain van der Decken have headed east. “Careful!” says Freshmeat, “I think I saw something move!” Suddenly, the forest opens into a clearing, with a large hole in the middle. “Dear god! A hole in the ground!” says the captain. “I say we kill it!” says Akaziel. “Captain, you hold it down, and I’ll shoot it.” “Good idea!” Van der Decken throws himself at the hole, and falls in. Meanwhile, Akaziel loads his gun, and fires at the hole. “Take that! And that! Not so tough now, eh?” Freshmeat says: “Uh... I think it’s dead, Akaziel.” “Are you sure? I’d better check.” Akaziel looks down the hole, but doesn’t notice the pair of furry sword-chucks that are swinging towards him on a vine. “Oh dear,” says Freshmeat, as three pieces of Akaziel fall into the hole. Suddenly, he feels a sharp sting, as a vampiric pixie bites him in the neck. Unfortunately for the pixie, sucking a human completely dry isn’t a good idea if you’re only four inches tall, and Vampiric explodes in a burst of blood.

In a dark pool, Draken is waiting for someone to eat. He hears some voices, but none of them come close enough. Then he sees something sneaking through the bushes. It is wearing a brightly coloured hat, and it’s followed by a very large cage on wheels which flattens the undergrowth behind it. Draken waits for it to come closer. Suddenly, Raeden jumps out of the bushes, holding a butterfly net. “Ha, I have you!” he shouts, and tries to catch the giant lizard with the tiny net. Unfortunately, and against all expectation, the lizard doesn’t fit into the net. “I think I made a slight miscalculation,” says Raeden. “You can say that again,” says Draken, chewing on the explorer. “Oh wait, you can’t, because I’ve eaten you.”

“Are you sure we can trust this penguin?” asks Mad Wizard. “I mean, he looks rather perilous.” “Of course we can trust him,” says Bitzeralisis, also known as the Blizzard. “He’s chaotic good. It says here on his character sheet.” “Oh, okay. By the way, why are you carrying those buckets around?” “They’re a secret weapon.” “What’s in them?” “If I told you, they wouldn’t be very secret, would they?” “Oh, right.” As the archaeologists look for signs of the temple, a random jungle hazard (number 82, to be precise) wanders onto the path. “Aaah! It’s hazardous! Quick, kill it!” says Mad Wizard. Traveling Angel quickly draws his whip and revolver, and shoots the hazard. Bitzeralisis reaches into one of his buckets, and throws a handful of ice cubes at the dying hazard. Traveling Angel is just about to make a witty remark, as a red-armoured warrior lops his head off, comments on the awesomeness of swords, and wanders off. Stu42 makes a penguiny sound, looks around, and suddenly dives for cover as a spear-like weapon flies past his hear. “Damn,” says the Predator™, “I missed.” “Maybe this Alien©-and-Predator™ teamup wasn’t such a good idea after all,” says Khaldan, as the penguin suddenly appears behind them and makes big holes in them with his shotgun.

“So I said to him, Megatron, I said, don’t push the red button! And guess what he did?” The kiwi shrugs. “He pushed it. How is that robot ever going to conquer the universe or whatever it is he’s up to? I mean, it even SAID self-destruct on the button! And there was a quite unambiguous ‘don’t push’ sign next to it. Well, so he pushes the button, and the ship starts to fall apart. I managed to get out at the last minute, and landed here. As you can see, my legs are a bit... er... gone. On the bright side, my death laser still works. Want to see it?” Kiwi Queen makes a kiwi-ish sound that rougly translates as “No thank you, I don’t want to be a roast kiwi!”

“Okay, and now left at the rope bridge?” HyramGraff asks. “Yes,” says the native guide, “but don’t look inside those crates.” “Why not?” “Because if you do, you won’t be able to open the secret passageway later on.” “Why on earth would that be?” “Don’t ask me, I didn’t design this jungle.” “Oh, alright. And now we come to the perilous cliff of peril...” “Yes.” “This is where I use the rope, right?” “No, you can’t. You need the rope later on to swing over the gorge of deepness.” “Can’t I take the rope with me after I’ve used it to climb the cliff?” “No, you can’t.” “But why...” “Don’t ask. You need to take the secret passage here.” “What secret passage?” “You click... er... push that rock over there, and the passage opens.” “This is ridiculous.” “Try telling that to those idiots at level design.” “What?” “Oh, never mind. Right, now you’ll encounter the dreaded Puzl-Bo'ss of Acki-Acki-Acki.” “Alright.” “It’s completely invulnerable to any attack.” “But... how do I beat it?” “You remember that bunch of bananas you found earlier?” “Yes?” “You have to throw them at the floor below the Puzl-Bo'ss.” “What? Why?” “Because that will cause the floor to collapse, killing the boss and clearing the way to the Temple of Acki-Acki-Acki.” “But you just said it was invulnerable...” “Will you just throw the bananas? Thank you.” HyramGraff reluctantly takes the bananas out of his inventory... er, backpack, and throws them, killing the Puzl-Bo'ss in a dreadfully anticlimactic manner. “Let’s never talk about this again. Ever.”

Swinging from tree to tree, the Great Pie stalks her prey. Down below, a man in a tuxedo is talking about a Great Pie. She drops herself to the ground, and bites the narrator. Unfortunately, the narrator remains strangely uneaten. “Hey! You’re supposed to be dead,” says the Great Pie. “How did you survive?” The narrator takes off his jacket, showing a shirt of shiny chainmail below. The Pie’s jaw drops. “It’s...” “Yup, plot armour.” “How did you...” “Killed Frodo and took it off him.” “But that’s cheating!” “Yes, it is.”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions
Akaziel|Indurain
Almight Salmon|Fleeing Coward
Atreyu|Alec
Baboon Army|Self
Bitzeralisis|Shadow
Calamity|Terumitsu
Captain van der Decken|Self
CurlyKitGirl|Timeout
DarkCorax|Air
Destro Yersul|Air
Dr. Bath|Hoggy
eidreff|Self
Face of Evil|Air
Fredricus|Air
Freshmeat|Vampiric
Hexed|Hoggy
HyramGraff|Self
Ink|Terumitsu
Mad Wizard|Timeout
Raeden|Draken
RocketBard|Therarde
Stu42|Self
Traveling Angel|Shadow
Zar Peter|PirateMonk
Perils|Actions
alec|Baboon Army
androgial|Stu42
banjo1985|Akaziel
Castaras|Air
dragonprime|Akaziel
Draken|Self
Ezlo|Self
Fleeing Coward|Self
Hoggy|Timeout
huyneo|Self
Indurain|Self
Kantur|Self
Khaldan|Stu42
Kiwi Queen|Air
Korias|Dr. Bath
Krursk|eidreff
Lord Fullbladder|Air
pingcode20|HyramGraff
PirateMonk|CurlyKitGirl
radikalskippy|Ink
Raiser B1ade|Traveling Angel
Shadow|Air
Terumitsu|Timeout
Therarde|RocketBard
Vampiric|Freshmeat[/table]


Archaeologists
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
DarkCorax
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Face of Evil (Abram Buttersworth)
Fredricus
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Mad Wizard
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Zar Peter - Surveyor
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
Dr. Bath - Guy with book and blunderbuss
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Ink
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver

Perils
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Indurain - Pitfall
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Kantur
Khaldan
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Sunday, 18:00 GMT.

[Almighty Salmon]

Fleeing Coward shoot himself? Who would've guessed :smalltongue:

Awesome writing Lord Herman.

[pingcode20]

Looks like my gambit failed.

Congrats Hyram, the medals are yours.

[Fleeing Coward]

Can people please stop shooting me?
How am I supposed to keep my seppuku master badge if I keep getting shot at? :smalltongue:

[banjo1985]

Hehe great teamwork from me and Dragonprime there :smallbiggrin:

I thought I'd died when I read the RocketBard bit but I'm still here!

Great writing Herman, I enjoy reading through these!

[Ink]

Hey! There was no mention of me dying! Why am I dead? :smallsmile:

Actually, Herman, it should have been me that was killed, not Calamity.

[Vampiric]

Great writing Herman. :smallbiggrin:

Freshmeat and I destroyed each other!:smallamused:

[Lord Herman]

Hey! There was no mention of me dying! Why am I dead? :smallsmile:

Actually, Herman, it should have been me that was killed, not Calamity.

Oops, I messed up there. I've corrected the text.

[Skippy]

“Nonsense, Calamity, that’s not a wild animal. It’s a kangaroo. They’re domesticated.” “Are you sure?” “Yes, of course. Look, you can even pet them.” “Uhh, Ink?” says Calamity as the kangaroo kicks Ink in the face, breaking his neck, “I think this one’s wild.”

Heh. Really clever. I like your style, Herman!

[Studoku]

Yay, my first double kill.

[Raeden]

Oh dear. Catching big animals with a butterfly net to sell them as circus attractions didn't work out quite as splendid as I imagined.

[Castaras]

Wow. I shot the narrator and lived?!

WOOOOOOO! :smallbiggrin:

[Shadow]

I do believe that that was the first time I've ever died while shooting the air in the first round.....
Of course....
I think that was the first time I've ever shot the air in the first round....

Won't be doing that again. :smallbiggrin:

[Freshmeat]

"I'll say, these jungle perils are indeed quite the intolerable bunch!" the monocled Brit exclaims.
As he joins the other survivors, he can't but help congratulate them.
"Jolly good show, fellow countrymen!"

His cheerful demeanor is met with surprised stares and frightened moustache rubbing.
It is then that the Queen-loving man with the patriotic bowler hat realizes that his own wounds were far more serious than his chauvinism had led him to believe.
Perhaps, he thought in an internal speech that no one would consider worthy of quotation tags (much less color), fighting that vampiric monster in the jungle was indeed not quite the good idea it had quite seemed at the time. Indeed.

"By Jove!" he utters in surprise as he slumps to the ground. Silence befalls the jungle as the surviving expedition members draw close and support the dying Brit.
"I've promised my wife I'd be home before tea-time. Dear chaps! Tell me this is all a ploy by the French! It can't end like this!"
But alas, he knows the French had long been banished from the continent, and that they would never dare set foot within a 20-mile radius of any self-respecting Briton.
Realizing he is not much longer for this world, the wounded man tries desperately to stand up, fails, and ultimately decides on leaving the mortal world with a few words of wisdom.
"Tally ho, gentlemen!" he says, even as his words turn into naught but a whisper. "Tally ho..."

The silence is only disturbed by his monocle dropping to the ground and breaking into a thousand pieces.

[eidreff]

*rummages in baggage, pulls out a few trumpets and hands them to random people*

*plays last post.....BADLY*

*stiffens upper lip*

My friends, though we mourn the sad loss of our comrades we must truly look upon our own fortune. True we have lost many able and close friends and hirelings, however on the upside that means more scones and loot artifacts for the rest of us to recover!

*Pulls sheet over corpses, well those that are available anyway*

Now who fancies a nice pot of tea?

Pass the milk please doctor.

*realises that the doctor is no longer there*

I say, that was jolly bad taste to prop the old chap up and put a teapot in his hand. Still waste not want not!

*pours tea*

anyone for a brew?

[Therarde]

Hmm...think there should be an award for most first-round deaths?

[Studoku]

Hmm...think there should be an award for most first-round deaths?

I think there is.

It, along with all the other trophies, is here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html)

[FoE]

Abram Buttersworth is shaking so badly that he can barely hold the massive elephant rifle. Sweat is streaming off of his forehead and into his eyes. His companions Professor Destro, Darkcorax and Fredricus are slashing their way through the jungle in front of him, talking about crocket or some such nonsense.

"Bloody fools," he whines. "Isn't it obvious that we're all going to die out here? We'll probably all drop dead of malaria or run out of water or fall prey to some vicious beastie. My skull's going to adorn some primitive savage's hut, I just know it."

As he whines, Buttersworth fails to notice the low-hanging tree branch drooping across the path his companions have hacked through the undergrowth. Staring at the ground while he grumbles about missing the comforts of home, Abram walks smack into the branch and knocks himself out cold.

Some time later, he stirs himself back to consciousness. Sitting up, he finds himself staring into the face of a strange-looking woman clad in animal furs, who is crouching at his feet. She carries a human shape, but many of her features are that of a leopard; she has fangs and piercing green eyes, her hands are curled into the shape of paws and black-spotted yellow fur runs along the length of her back. A cat's tail lazily slaps the ground behind her.

The were-leopard says something to Buttersworth in a queer, growling language. <You are a very strange sight to me. I have never seen your kind before. I find your pale skin and scent quite intoxicating. Would you care to mate with me in the bushes?>

Buttersworth, however, cannot speak her tongue, and in his fear all he can hear is, <You smell delicious. I plan to tear out your throat and drink your blood. The meat on your bones will sustain my hunger for many days.>

Howling in terror, Buttersworth manages to clamber his feet and snatch his rifle before running off into the jungle screaming, alerting virtually every peril within a mile's radius to his presence.

The cat-woman watches in confusion as the Englishman flees. Finally, she shrugs her shoulders and stalks off into the undergrowth to tell her fellow members in the tribe of catwomen at the Lost Temple of Gold about the strange creature she found in the jungle who ran off in the direction of the quicksand pits....

[DraPrime]

I'm still wondering how sword-chucks swing through the trees. Wouldn't they cut of any branches they try to grab?

[androgial]

grrrrr im going to get you next time stu just you wait and see. i just knew that armed penguin was the most dangerous one of the bunch i knew it.

[Therarde]

I think there is.

It, along with all the other trophies, is here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html)

Oh. I checked there to see if there is one. Probably missed it because it was at the top. In any case, I'm going to try and win it. >_>

[huyneo]

danggit, there i go off and dieing again! the first round

[Mad Wizard]

Hmm, good thing I timed out, I was planning on shooting myself.

[banjo1985]

I'm still wondering how sword-chucks swing through the trees. Wouldn't they cut of any branches they try to grab?

Not when they're being held by a Banjo choking vine! :smallbiggrin:

[Hoggy]

Sorry about the sudden time-out, had university open days.

[HyramGraff]

Perils
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Indurain - Pitfall
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Kantur
Khaldan
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie

pingcode20 should be dead. Sorry, I just noticed this.

[Lord Herman]

Thanks for pointing that out, HyramGraff. I've moved pingcode20 to the list of dead perils.

[pingcode20]

We prefer the term 'defeated', thank you very much.

[Lord Herman]

We prefer the term 'defeated', thank you very much.

Is 'pwn'd' okay too?

[Hexed]

The groom walks over to the dead donkey's corpse. "Not nice to have to do that to an animal", he says, "but that's why being a pack animal is better. Much safer". He then returns to the animals, because there is bound to be something that makes then nervous in all this mess. At least my uniform is still clean.

[Lord Herman]

I'm afraid I won't be able to write the story tonight. I'll try to do it tomorrow, but with 25 contestants left, I think it won't be done until tuesday. Sorry, everyone.

[Studoku]

Does this mean that I am both dead and alive at the same time now?

Mwahahaha! Fear the wrath of Schrodinger's Penguin.

[Bitzeralisis]

...

The suspense. It burns.

[Lord Herman]

“...and then I found the temple. It’s only a few miles from here.” “Splendid,” says Lord Eidreff, “good work, HyramGraff.” Eidreff looks around. “I say, weren’t there more of you when we came here?” Bitzeralisis says: “It would seem that about half our expedition has been lost to the perils of the jungle.” “Oh, dear. Shouldn’t we go and rescue them?” “Er, sir, by ‘lost’, I meant ‘eaten, dismembered, eviscerated, diced, all of the above, or other, please specify’.” “My goodness. Well, never mind them, then. Let’s go to the temple.”

As the archaeologists follow the trail to the lost temple, a group of perils suddenly leap out of the jungle. A furry pair of sword-chucks tries to decapitate Eidreff, but a red warrior snatches them out of the air, and whirls them around in a whirlwind of blades. Suddenly, the chain snaps, and the swords fly off in different directions. One sword lands in HyramGraff’s neck, and the other hits Bitzeralisis in the chest. As Bitzeralisis tries to get the sword out, a vine wraps itself around his neck, and chokes him to death. Skippy hops toward Zar Peter, and tries to kick him into a bloody pulp. Peter, however, avoids the kangaroo, who overshoots his target and bumps into Baboon Army, who was just examining an interesting ravine. As the monkey and the kangaroo fall to their deaths, Atreyu decides to save Bitzeralisis. He jumps up, and bites the vine. The vine breaks, and Bitzeralisis falls to the ground, firmly lodging the sword into his chest.

“I say, old chaps, that looks like a bloody great hole in the ground!” says Professor Destro. “So it is,” says Fredricus. “Fascinating. Maybe it’s a Roman hole.” “It could well be,” says Calamity. “A hole? Isn’t that dangerous?” says Abram Buttersworth. “Don’t worry, old chap,” says Destro, “I’m sure it’s perfectly safe. Now let’s have a cup of tea while our penguin investigates the hole.” Stu42 walks over to the hole, and looks down. Suddenly, a kiwi drops from the tree above him, and knocks the penguin into the hole. Stu42’s death scream startles Professor Destro, who spills his tea over himself, Fredricus, and Calamity. “Oh dear,” says the professor, “now we’ll have to go back to England to have our clothes cleaned.” Meanwhile, Abram Buttersworth has run away, and now finds himself face to face with half a robot. “Want to see my death laser?” asks Lord Fullbladder, and zaps the unfortunate explorer.

Mad Wizard is lost. He cuts himself a way through the jungle with his machete, when he suddenly finds himself face to face with a lion. Luckily, it’s sleeping. The archaeologist sneaks past it, but just as he thinks he’s safe, he falls into a pool of dark water. He tries to climb out, but something grabs his leg, and drags him down into the deep.

Hexed and DarkCorax are guarding the pack animals. “Hexed! I saw something!” “What? Where?” “There, in those dark concealing shadows!” “Dear god, you’re right! Quick, shoot it!” “What with?” “You didn’t bring a weapon?” “I’ve got this stick. It’s not very pointy, but if you gave me a knife, I could...” “Oh, never mind. You know what? We’ll scare the pack animals, and make them start a stampede.” “Good idea!” Hexed and DarkCorax start running around, waving their arms and shouting “Boo!” at the animals. The animals look around lazily, and completely ignore them. Hexed is just about to start poking the animals with a stick, as Korias leaps out of the shadows and eats him.

“But if Frodo has plot armour, how can you kill him?” “Well,” says the narrator, “even if someone has plot armour, you can still kill them if it’s dramatically appropriate.” “Huh. And how did you manage to find a dramatically appropriate way to kill Frodo?” “Uh... I dropped a marble statue on his head as he was leaving Rivendell.” “And how is that dramatically appropriate?” “Oh, shut up.”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions
Atreyu|banjo1985
Baboon Army|Self
Bitzeralisis|Raiser B1ade
Calamity|Self
DarkCorax|Air
Destro Yersul|Self
eidreff|Self
Face of Evil|Air
Fredricus|Self
Hexed|Korias
HyramGraff|Raiser B1ade
Mad Wizard|Draken
Stu42|Indurain
Zar Peter|Self
Perils|Actions
banjo1985|Bitzeralisis
Castaras|Air
dragonprime|eidreff
Draken|Self
Fleeing Coward|Timeout
Indurain|Self
Kiwi Queen|Stu42
Korias|Self
Lord Fullbladder|Face of Evil
radikalskippy|Zar Peter
Raiser B1ade|Self[/table]


Archaeologists
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
DarkCorax
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Zar Peter - Surveyor
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
Dr. Bath - Guy with book and blunderbuss
Face of Evil (Abram Buttersworth)
Fredricus
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Ink
Mad Wizard
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver

Perils
Castaras - The Great Pie
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Indurain - Pitfall
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
banjo1985 - Choking vine
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Kantur
Khaldan
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Friday, 18:00 GMT.

[Freshmeat]

That is a pretty amazing round for the jungle perils.

[Skippy]

I should have foreseen such a move from Zar Peter...

[Raiser Blade]

Wow how awesome is that my second or third suicidal double kill. I think i have the most kills again.

[Zar Peter]

I should have foreseen such a move from Zar Peter...

Yes, I'm very predictable, ain't I? :smallbiggrin:

[Draken]

Another one meets it's murky death.

People look a bit to intent on killing me. I wonder if shooting myself again will mean the death of another explorer...

*dives to lurk*

[DraPrime]

Why did I have to choose Eidreff? Why?

[banjo1985]

Dang it that damn Llama got me! Oh well, two kills is my best showing yet, I should be a choking vine more often...

[eidreff]

Well chaps... chaps? .... helllllooooo.

*big echoy silence*

anyone for tea?....

oh dear, its gone very quiet....

*breaks out hip flask, which still contains about half a gallon of brandy*

Those who have fallen, I salute you. Now where's the loot forgotten evidence of ancient civilisation? Oooooh shiny....

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Whoo! Go Team Robo-Fruit! *high-five's Kiwi Queen*

[Lord Herman]

Sorry for the delay. Counting the nominations for Colours in the Playground took a bit longer than expected. Writing now.

[Lord Herman]

“Swords are really kinda neat.” Raiser B1ade looks around at the bored faces of Fleeing Coward, Draken, and Kiwi Queen. “Just saying.” After seeing the archaeologists’ blundering, the perils had decided to wait for them to kill themselves by accident. Unfortunately, perils often have a very short attention span. “Hey guys, did I tell you swords...” “Shut up, Raiser B1ade!”

“And then Starscream said...” Lord Fullbladder looks around. “Hey, where’s Korias gone? And what’s this llama doing here?” Atreyu burps, looks at Fullbladder, and runs away. “Too slow, llama,” says the robot, and toasts him with his death laser.

Somewhere in the jungle, a hole is doing nothing. Because that’s what holes do.

“So what if I kill you in a dramatically appropriate way?” “Don’t be silly. There’s no dramatically appropriate way to kill a narrator.” “Hey, wait a second... that plot armour of yours, it’s a chainmail shirt, isn’t it?” “Yes?” “That means it doesn’t protect your head.” “I suppose so...” “So why don’t I just stab you in the face?” “I guess you could.” “You don’t sound too worried about your impending death.” “Not really, no. I usually get saved at the last moment.” “Well, let’s see how you get saved from...” As Castaras draws a knife to stab the narrator, DarkCorax and Zar Peter leap out of a tree, and eat the Great Pie. “Told ya,” says the narrator.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions
Atreyu|Korias
DarkCorax|Castaras
eidreff|Timeout
Zar Peter|Castaras
Perils|Actions
Castaras|Air
Draken|Timeout
Fleeing Coward|Air
Indurain|Air
Kiwi Queen|Timeout
Korias|Timeout
Lord Fullbladder|Atreyu
Raiser B1ade|Air[/table]


Archaeologists
DarkCorax
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Zar Peter - Surveyor
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
Dr. Bath - Guy with book and blunderbuss
Face of Evil (Abram Buttersworth)
Fredricus
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Ink
Mad Wizard
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver

Perils
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Indurain - Pitfall
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Kantur
Khaldan
Korias
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Monday, 17:00 GMT.

[Draken]

We who are ready to do nothing at all salute you.

Heh.

[DraPrime]

Yay, a fairly uneventful round. Except for the death of Castaras. That was funny.

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

It's amazing the amount of people willing to sit and listen to the upper half of a robot ramble in the middle of a god forsaken jungle.

[Castaras]

Two people tried to kill me?

I feel special. :smallbiggrin:

Maybe I should try another method next round...try shooting other people instead of that blasted narrator who just won't die! :smalltongue: :smallwink:

And that description of the hole was made of win. And funniness. :smallamused:

[Lord Herman]

Sorry for being late again. My internet exploded. I think I'll have time to write tomorrow.

[Lord Herman]

“...and that’s how I got my first death laser.” “Neat!” says Raiser B1ade. “Hey, I just had an awesome idea. A laser... powered by swords! Which are also laser-powered!” He is about to elaborate on the merits of swords, as he is suddenly decapitated by a bush knife. “Thanks,” says Lord Fullbladder, “that guy reminded me of a Decepticon I knew. What’s his name. Well, anyway, he would keep yapping and yapping and yapping, and Megatron got so annoyed, he... uh... explorer guy? Now where’s he gone off to?”

Kiwi Queen is standing around, seemingly unaware of the approaching danger. DarkCorax is sneaking up on her, and loads his pistol. He’s just about to shoot the kiwi as she suddenly turns around, leaps at his face, and starts pecking at his eyes. Hearing the archaeologist’s screams, Fleeing Coward crawls out of the bushes, and shyly approaches the blood-stained kiwi. “Sorry I’m late,” he says, “but I... uh... had things to do...” “Like cowering in the bushes?” says Kiwi Queen. “Next time, you can be the bait.”

“Good god,” says Lord Eidreff, “a hole in the ground! You’d never see that sort of thing in merry old England. Don’t these jungle people know how dangerous that is? Someone could fall in!” “Exactly,” says Draken, and pushes Eidreff into the hole.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions|Results
DarkCorax|Kiwi Queen|Dead
eidreff|Indurain|Dead
Zar Peter|Raiser B1ade|Alive, killed Raiser B1ade
Perils|Actions
Draken|eidreff|Alive, killed Eidreff
Fleeing Coward|DarkCorax|Alive, killed DarkCorax
Indurain|Self|Alive, killed Eidreff
Kiwi Queen|Self|Alive, killed DarkCorax
Lord Fullbladder|Air|Alive
Raiser B1ade|Air|Dead[/table]


Archaeologists
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
DarkCorax
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
Dr. Bath - Guy with book and blunderbuss
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Face of Evil (Abram Buttersworth)
Fredricus
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Ink
Mad Wizard
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver
Zar Peter - Surveyor

Perils
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Indurain - Pitfall
Kantur
Khaldan
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Friday, 17:00 GMT.

[Zar Peter]

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

(And a bad pun: I'm the lone surveyor)

[Almighty Salmon]

You can do it Zar Peter!

*Holds up Banner and blows on Kazoo*

[Castaras]

Go perils! Kill that puny archaeologist! Punt the gnome! :smallbiggrin: :smallwink:

[Skippy]

All your archaeologist are belong to us!!

Avenge those who have been slain by his hand! Kill him!!

[Vampiric]

A single surveyor can be no match for the mighty perils of the jungle!:smallbiggrin:

Go gettim, perils!:smallamused:

[DraPrime]

Wooo take Zar down!

[Baboon Army]

I have faith in you! Do not let us down!
(or else this is going to be my 50th loss in a row! (no brain power left to really count)

Edit: Correct spelling donated by Vampiric. Thanks!

[banjo1985]

As much I like Zar Peter....go perils take the gnome down! That'll give me 3 wins in 4 without surviving three rounds in any of them :smallbiggrin:

[Vampiric]

BA, I think you want 'exaggerating'

[Raiser Blade]

Curse you Gnomish astrologist! *fistshake*

[Destro_Yersul]

I still think it's awesome how I "died"

Go Professor! Back to England to get the Khaki's dry-cleaned!

[Lord Herman]

It's been 17:00 GMT, so I'll start writing.

[Lord Herman]

Fleeing Coward stalks through the jungle in search of prey. Preferably prey that doesn’t look too scary. He’s just about to attack a banana tree as he hears something behind him. “Excuse me, good sir, could you please point me to the bathroom?” Fleeing Coward turns around, squeals, clutches at his chest, falls over, and dies. Zar Peter looks around, and continues through the jungle with the uncomfortable walk of those who really have to go.

As Kiwi Queen dreams happy dreams of murder and bloodshed, Lord Fullbladder shows off his death laser. “Look, it can even cut a tomato,” he says, and demonstrates. “Uh, Fullbladder?” says Draken. “I don’t think it counts as ‘cutting’ if the tomato is vaporized.”

“Ah, a hole in the ground! Well, it’s better than nothing.” The surveyor lowers his trousers, and whistles a jaunty tune as he relieves himself in the hole. As he raises his trousers, he looks into the hole and sniffs. “Ugh, how vile. I’d better fill this hole up.” He grabs his shovel, and fills the hole with sand and rocks, before continuing his search for the Lost Temple of Acki-Acki-Acki.

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions|Results
Zar Peter|Indurain|Alive
Perils|Actions|Results
Draken|Air|Alive
Fleeing Coward|Self|Dead
Indurain|Air|Dead
Kiwi Queen|Timeout|Alive
Lord Fullbladder|Air|Alive[/table]


Archaeologists
Akaziel - The guy with the Monopoly set, and the first one to utter "I say we kill it!"
Almighty Salmon - Lion tamer
Atreyu - Loyal pack animal
Baboon Army - Guide
Bitzeralisis (Blizzard)
Calamity - Brought 700 cups of tea
Captain van der Decken
CurlyKitGirl
DarkCorax
Destro Yersul (Professor Destro) - Has a pith helmet
Dr. Bath - Guy with book and blunderbuss
eidreff (Lord Eidreff of Throtoch Hill) - Sponsor, has many manly skills
Face of Evil (Abram Buttersworth)
Fredricus
Freshmeat - Has a bowler hat, a monocle and an umbrella which doubles up as a sniper rifle
Hexed - Khaki-uniformed horse/camel/llama/donkey groom
HyramGraff
Ink
Mad Wizard
Raeden - Wears a brightly coloured tropical expedition hat
RocketBard - Homicidal robot
Stu42 - Chaotic good shotgun-weilding renegade penguin that rebelled against the perils of the jungle and joined the archaeologists
Traveling Angel - Has whip and revolver
Zar Peter - Surveyor

Perils
alec
androgial - PREDATORTM
banjo1985 - Choking vine
Castaras - The Great Pie
dragonprime - Furry pair of sword-chucks
Draken - Giant lurking lizard
Ezlo - Dire Plate of Meatloaf
Fleeing Coward - Cowardly lion
Hoggy - Wild One-Eyed Pirate donkey
huyneo - Monkey with rocket launcher
Indurain - Pitfall
Kantur
Khaldan
Kiwi Queen - Evil rabid Kiwi
Korias
Krursk - Off-screen gribbly
Lord Fullbladder - Lost technology
pingcode20 - The Fake Difficulty Boss!
PirateMonk - Tiger-man-eating-venus-flytrap-pygmy hybrid
radikalskippy (Skippy, the bush kangaroo)
Raiser B1ade - On the losing team
Shadow - Random jungle hazard #82
Terumitsu
Therarde - Vine trap
Vampiric - Vampiric pixie


Please submit your actions before Sunday, 17:00 GMT.

[Fredricus]

Archealogists for the win!

[Freshmeat]

Go the distance, Zar!

[Almighty Salmon]

Woop! Go Zar!

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Okay, we're still separating the Perils from the Nuisances. Fleeing Coward and Indurain were obviously nuisances. But come on! One inept Brit is getting the better ofus, the legendary Dangers of the Jungle! What will our Perilous Offspring think?

[Studoku]

ZP crapped in the hole? Normally I wouldn't mind but my body is still in it.:smallfurious:

[Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins]

Naw, I think he just urinated on your body. And then gave you a proper burial.

[Indurain]

Dangnabbit...one of these days I'll make it to the end of one of these. I've played in every single one of them.

[Fleeing Coward]

Thank God Zar Peter didn't decide to shoot me, I've got a badge to defend :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Herman]

Time's up, writing now.

[Lord Herman]

Zar Peter is following the narrow mountain trail HyramGraff had described to him before his death. The path takes him to a small valley. As he takes out his spyglass to survey his surroundings, he spots a large building on the far end of the valley. “At last!” he says, “the temple!”

“And then Optimus Prime says, that’s not a vacuum cleaner, that’s my wife!” The following silence is broken only by Draken’s snores. “So... uh... anyone want to play a game? I found this on a dead explorer.”

Zar Peter picks a banana off a tree as he makes his way through the valley. “Funny,” he says to himself, “this place is actually quite nice. Not half as perilous as the rest of the jungle.”

“Yes!” says Lord Fullbladder, as Kiwi Queen moves the little boat, “Atlantic Avenue! Pay up!” “Hey, that isn’t yours!” says Kiwi Queen. “Yes, it is. Look!” “I never saw you buy it! When did you buy it?” “Just now, last turn!” “You totally did not. You were in jail, you can’t have bought it!” “Uh... there’s a special rule that says you can, if... uh...” “If what?” “If it’s Tuesday... and uh... and the moon is round.” “It’s always round! Besides, it isn’t Tuesday.”

Slowly, Zar Peter climbs the long stairs of the ancient temple. The stones are worn by rain and wind and overgrown with moss, but the building is still quite impressive. As the explorer reaches the top of the stairs, the large temple doors slowly open. “Hmm, clever. I bet it’s some kind of pressure-activated system.” He discards the peel of his banana, lights a torch, and walks inside.

“Okay, okay, so it’s Wednesday. Now can we please continue the game?”

Zar Peter makes his way through the dark maze of corridors, until he finally finds a large room. In the middle, there is a pedestal. “Finally! I found it!” The archaeologist walks towards the pedestal, avoiding pressure plates and trap doors. As he stands before the pedestal, he carefully places a sack of sand on it, and at the same time, removes the priceless artefact.

“No, it’s not in the manual, that’s why it’s a special rule!” “I think you made it up.” “Nonsense! That rule has been there since, well, forever!” “You never played this game before!” “That’s completely besides the point! Will you just pay the money?” “Alright, but from now on, we’ll play by the rules.”

“At last! The Golden Spoon of Montezuma is mine!” Zar Peter looks at the large, golden spoon, and tucks it safely into his breast pocket. He is about to walk away, as suddenly, the pedestal starts shaking. “That can’t be good.”

“Come on, a ten! I need a ten!” Lord Fullbladder throws the dice, and sighs. “Great, a nine. That means I land on... chance. Well, let’s see then.” The Decepticon draws a card off the pile, and reads it. “What kind of nonsense is this? ‘The Campaign For Llama Rights sues you. Give $500 to all llamas.’” Kiwi Queen bleats. “Nice try, kiwi.”

Zar Peter rolls out of the room, avoiding poisoned darts and falling rocks. As he speeds through the corridors of the temple, he narrowly escapes the spiked pits, spear traps, and big rolling rocks that look vaguely familiar and which would probably get the owner of the dungeon into trouble if George Lucas’ lawyers ever found out about them.

“No, that’s not meant metaphorically. The cards says ‘llamas’, so it means llamas. Not all miscellaneous jungle animals. Besides, you’re not a jungle animal. You’re not even on the right continent.”

Clutching the golden spoon, Zar Peter is running for his life as the big rolling rock gets closer and closer. Finally, he sees sunlight up ahead. With the crushing rock on his heels, the explorer runs out of the temple, slips on a banana peel, and tumbles down the stairs.

“Four... that lands me on... uh... oh crap.” “Park Place?” “Which means I’m bankrupt. Oh, wait.” “Wait what?” There is a loud zap, and Lord Fullbladder says: “Oh dear, I’m so clumsy, I accidentally activated my death laser and blew up the game board. What a shame, now we’ll never know who would have won.”

[Lord Herman]

{table]Archaeologists|Actions|Results
Zar Peter|Self|Dead
Perils|Actions|Results
Draken|Timeout|Alive
Kiwi Queen|Air|Alive
Lord Fullbladder|Air|Alive[/table]

Zar Peter is dead! The Perils of the Jungle have won! Congratulations, perils!


Bronze Cup - Victory
The Perils of the Jungle

Silver Cup - Victory and Survival
Draken, Kiwi Queen, and Lord Fullbladder

Golden Cup - Most Wins
1. HyramGraff, with 10 points
2. Draken, Fredricus, Indurain, pingcode20, and Raiser B1ade, with 7 points
3. -
4. -
5. -

Red Medal - Most Kills
This game:
Zar Peter, with 5 kills
Overall:
1. Raiser B1ade and Zar Peter, with 14 kills
2. -
3. Atreyu, with 11 kills
4. Indurain and pingcode20, with 10 kills
5. -

Green Medal - Survival
This game:
Draken, Kiwi Queen, Lord Fullbladder, and Zar Peter
Overall:
1. HyramGraff, with 17 rounds
2. pingcode20 and Raiser B1ade, with 16 rounds
3. -
4. Fleeing Coward and RocketBard, with 14 rounds
5. -

Blue Medal - Pacifist
This game:
Lord Fullbladder, with 4 airshots
Overall:
1. HyramGraff and pingcode20, with 11 airshots
2. -
3. Akaziel and Fredricus, with 9 airshots
4. -
5. Ink, with 7 airshots

Purple Medal - Getting Shot At
This game:
Indurain, got shot at 4 times
Overall:
1. Indurain and Raiser B1ade, got shot at 11 times
2. -
3. Atreyu and Zar Peter, got shot at 10 times
4. -
5. Baboon Army, Moon Called, and pingcode20, got shot at 9 times

Yellow Medal - Not Getting Shot At
This game:
Lord Fullbladder, didn't get shot at 6 rounds
Overall:
1. HyramGraff, didn't get shot at 19 rounds
2. Fleeing Coward, pingcode20, and RocketBard, didn't get shot at 17 rounds
3. -
4. -
5. Raiser B1ade, didn't get shot at 15 rounds

Black Badge - First Round Casualty
1. Lord Fullbladder, with 6 deaths in the first round
2. alec, Almighty Salmon, Castaras, Destro Yersul, Ezlo, Fredricus, Ink, and Moon Called, with 5 deaths in the first round
3. -
4. -
5. -

Lime Badge - Seppuku Master
1. Fleeing Coward, killed himself 7 times
2. Gezina, killed herself 5 times
3. Calamity, Castaras, Ezlo, and Zar Peter, killed themselves 4 times
4. -
5. -

Other Badges
Orange Badge (most effective suicide) - Tied
Brown Badge (largest lynch mob) - Tied
Magenta Badge (longest chain of kills) - Ink (8 people in chain)
White Badge (sole survivor) - Raiser B1ade (6 rounds alone)

[Freshmeat]

Well fought chaps! But the next battle shall be ours!
Indeed!

[Zar Peter]

That was a great game!
Sorry to my team, but I finally got the spoon of Montezuma. It's worth something. And if the banana wasn't there... who knows?

Thank you Herman, great story telling.

[Kiwi Queen]

Hehehe, and Ezlo said that I should've shot the air. Figures that I was playing monopoly; I was just playing that about 1/2 an hour ago.:smallbiggrin:

Go Perils!

[Skippy]

Well done perils!!!

What will next round be?

[Lord Herman]

I've updated the full list of medals and badges, which can be found here (http://home.planet.nl/~hdgoede/tdg/StickArt/Gallery/TeamRAF.html).

[Studoku]

Is there an award for most games lost? I've lost 3/3 so far.:smallannoyed:

[Vampiric]

I'm one short of the black badge!.... I think...:smallconfused: :smallbiggrin:

[Fredricus]

Next game I'll be General!

Any ideas of the theme of the next game?

Daemons/Devils VS Angels
Vampires VS Werewolves (The world of Darkness type)
Medieval court intrigue with knights(jousting), ladies, squires, charlatans, King and Quuen

[huyneo]

magical people vs technical people?
or idk
nice game. Fun to read these things

[Vampiric]

Daemons vs Angels

Daemons for me! But, I'll be from Niflheim, Nordic Hell. :smallbiggrin: one of Loki's henchmen, or something =)

[Lord Herman]

Some ideas from the last thread:
- Medieval warfare, possibly Scots versus English
- Napoleontic warfare, maybe Waterloo
- Some Sci-Fi setting we haven't done yet
- Adventurers versus Random Encounters

[huyneo]

i think i would go with the
Adventurers vs Random Encounters

[Ezlo]

I would go with a rivalry, like Castaras' Army vs The Narrator's Army.

[Draken]

I would go with a rivalry, like Castaras' Army vs The Narrator's Army.

I sign up for Cassie's army.

DOWN WITH HIM!!

[Studoku]

Harry Potter
Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff vs Slytherin for 4-way insanity.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nintendo vs Sony vs Microsoft

Dibs on Kirby! :smalltongue:

[Indurain]

Herman, that was one of the best games ever. Some of my favourite narrating.

And looking at the medals, I never realised how impressive my record is. Though I've never made it to the end (so close), I've been on the winning team 7 out of 9 times.

Nice work Perils!

[Shadow]

Vampires VS Werewolves (The world of Darkness type)
That's got my vote!

[Skippy]

That's got my vote!

Another game where you'll die on Night One, huh?

[Shadow]

Another game where you'll die on Night One, huh?
Hey! :smallbiggrin:
I have a win under my belt here (from the more difficult, non-team version I might add)!

[banjo1985]

Ooo Werewolves vs Vampires sounds good to me, could even include mages and make it a three way fight!

Oh and great storytelling Herman, I enjoyed that. Despite never surviving until the end I have three wins in four, not a bad record so far!