PDA

View Full Version : Stupidest thing you've ever done in Dnd...



Jalor
2007-10-03, 01:55 PM
The old topic died so here's a new one to tell the stories of your own stupidity, or those of your DMs or fellow players.

My Story:

Me and some of my friends were playing a game, them using Psionics clases and me using Trent Reznor, my 4th level NE Curse Song based bard. The DM makes the mistake of putting an Instant Fortress in the treasure hoard. 15d6 damage to enemies at level 4. Not long after that my psionic friends were bitten by Brain Moles, rolled natural 1s, 2s, and 3s on their Fort saves, and began firing their combat oriented powers at civilians/each other/me. I ended up killing them all with the fortress.

Yeah...

Bauglir
2007-10-03, 02:44 PM
We got through a hallway of traps. In the next room is a crate, which I melt open with my acid breath. It is full of fine wine. Therefore, I grab a bottle. And fail the Fort save against the Dragon Bile... I later sold all the wine I could carry out of there, after wiping it down while wearing gloves. Hopefully it wasn't poisoned.

Jalor
2007-10-03, 03:45 PM
Something like that happened to me once.

And what? No comments on the name of my character? I'm quite surprised.

Deepblue706
2007-10-03, 03:59 PM
Stupidest thing I've ever done in D&D?

I once presumed a fellow PC wouldn't try to cheat to kill my character, after I attempted to subdue his, a character who was quite clearly insane and attacked a member of the group (he had done this before, in the past, too).

The game stopped progressing at that point. A grand shame it was, since some parts of that game were really fun, and I was looking forward to plenty more.

Lesson here: Tell your DM when you think someone should get the boot, before messes like this happen.

Krimm_Blackleaf
2007-10-03, 04:40 PM
Rolling a sphere into the room where my friends were when it makes you flee when you hear the noises it makes. I had my ears plugged.:smalltongue:

AslanCross
2007-10-03, 04:53 PM
As a DM, I forgot about the damage reduction that my monsters had. They died far too quick. <_<

Ivius
2007-10-03, 04:53 PM
I casted Mount in a basement. Somehow my character got a horse up the spiral staircase without anything bad happening by succeeding on a Handle Animal check.

Swordguy
2007-10-03, 04:54 PM
Challenged (3 musketeers-style) a Wizard, Druid, and Cleric to 1-on-1 duels.

With my fighter...

slexlollar89
2007-10-03, 04:59 PM
"chopped" the party clerics arm off with the only thing available: the clerics lt mace, gave it to a death giant, and tried to run.

the giant caught me and I survived because of a gold wrym
the cleric caught me and I survived because he just wanted to cut off my arms

Suzaku
2007-10-03, 05:18 PM
After some bad rolling in previous combat that we should've breezed through I decide to search for traps and rolled a 1. Now since this was a heavy roleplaying my character said it was clear and we set off a trap that I only managed to evade thanks to a natural 20 combined with evasion. Now because we were already drained from previous encounter the party found themselves dead on the ground.

ocato
2007-10-03, 05:37 PM
Low RP game, if you died you were welcome to bring a new character in. My friend refused to fly over a lava river using some item we found and insisted on jumping. 5 characters later, he decided to take a break from playing.

He died so much he'd make his characters 2-3 at a time.

Different game, we snuck past a bunch of traps without disarming them for... some reason. Then we get into a big room full of hobgoblins and start getting beat up (they surprised us, heard us coming down the hall) and the wizard tried to run away... down the hallway full of armed traps.

Swooper
2007-10-03, 05:40 PM
Perhaps not the stupidest thing, but bloody stupid nonetheless... Now this was back before 3rd edition, we were playing AD&D 2nd Edition back then.

Only two players, me (human transmuter) and an elf bounty hunter (a thief kit - less thieving skills, more weapon skills). We were sent by our king to a border fortress as ambassadors, with the mission of spying on the enemy and finding out about troop movements and such.

We left the fortress a couple of days later, still burning. (We did get the info but I'm afraid we blew our cover somewhere on the way...)

LordMalrog
2007-10-03, 07:19 PM
A friend of mine... *coughs something that sounds like staven* decided that his character could survive a teleport into a black hole for an artifact... guess what he didn't.

Hectonkhyres
2007-10-03, 07:22 PM
Medium level fighter. Kicked Loki in the groin. The god magically (and quite painfully) stole his genitalia. He had to make do with a cloaca for the next month... at which point they were magically (and quite painfully) re-attached by what appeared to be a troop of flying monkeys. They were afflicted with various curses for the rest of the game.

We had so much fun with that schtick.

InfiniteMiller
2007-10-03, 07:54 PM
While trying to find a trapper in a giant and seemingly never-ending forest, I followed a deer around for a day and a half, assuming that it would hit a trap and the guy would show himself.

Turned out I was severely underestimated the lifespan of deer in that forest, and wound up very lost. Not a proud moment.

Stormcrow
2007-10-03, 08:07 PM
And what? No comments on the name of my character? I'm quite surprised.

You are a horrible n00b with no creativity. Does that make you happy?

Krugg
2007-10-03, 08:33 PM
Casting a Magic Missile in a Random Magic Area. My DM was evil, and so my missiles turned around, hit me, and changed me into a guy. Aaaand then I tried to commit suicide. It's a long story. But to put it flat and short, being male was the last thing my character wanted.

StickMan
2007-10-03, 08:35 PM
Used a table as a battering ram on a unlocked door. I said I pushed on the door and it turns out Pull was the correct answer, so then we deiced to try to ram it.

Stevo-Tron
2007-10-03, 10:25 PM
this story isnt mine but it is still really really stupid...

so our pedophile venerable cleric is wearing really heavy armor giving him a -10 on all swim checks. thus, the highest he could get is a 10, because he had no ranks in swim. the DC to get past even the first trap was 15 and we told him to wait on the shore.

so naturally he kept trying to swim, thus nearly drowning about 5 times until i had to knock him unconscious. he later tried to justify it by saying "come on guys, i can do this!"... sometimes i hate Grinchy

The_Losar
2007-10-03, 10:42 PM
I spent an entire campaign as a rogue, but he was a NG guy with a pet dog who used a bow and spend a good bit of time wandering the wilderness. He also thoroughly enjoyed magical things that let him seem magical, and often used wands and scrolls via Use Magic Device.

Naturally, nobody (in character) thought he was a rogue. He was obviously some sort of Ranger/Wizard guy. It was a long-running joke in the group, and it certainly helped that the character never put many ranks in Open Lock. It was mostly Bluff, Hide, Move Silently, Disable Device, Sleight of Hand, and Use Magic Device, while the rest of the skill points were spread out.

Well, we're in the last dungeon. We reach a room full of traps. After causing several devils to appear and having several party members frozen/burned/poisoned/etc, I finally remember "Hey! I'm a Rogue! I can disable these things!"

Thus did I realize that the character's disguise was so good, he even fooled his own player! Boy, was I embarrassed...

Machete
2007-10-03, 11:10 PM
Made a half-orc Spirit Shaman.
With the Negotiator Feat. And 12 Int. And 6 STR.

What? It was my first character.

Zanatos777
2007-10-03, 11:26 PM
Not me but one of my players. First character in a city campaign, undead based, was a monk (named Fick Nury, get it). He was fine until he sold his soul to the chaotic neutral goddess of trickery and deception, who didn't like him in the first place (she was in cat form in the city and he dropped her in the ocean). I made sure to take his eye before I killed him.

His second character was a fighter/justicar (Dudge Fred actually said "I am the law"). Same campaign. Still undead focused. After one session of him all my players were begging me to kill him and get him out of the group. Actually they had been complaining about the player for most of the campaign but I was politely allowing him to play (he grated on my nerves too).

I guess the main stupid thing here is playing a justicar in an undead campaign. Seriously who does that? He honestly thought it would work. I just don't understand why.

Zanatos777
2007-10-03, 11:37 PM
Not me but one of my players. First character in a city campaign, undead based, was a monk (named Fick Nury, get it). He was fine until he sold his soul to the chaotic neutral goddess of trickery and deception, who didn't like him in the first place (she was in cat form in the city and he dropped her in the ocean). I made sure to take his eye before I killed him.

His second character was a fighter/justicar (Dudge Fred actually said "I am the law"). Same campaign. Still undead focused. After one session of him all my players were begging me to kill him and get him out of the group. Actually they had been complaining about the player for most of the campaign but I was politely allowing him to play (he grated on my nerves too).

I guess the main stupid thing here is playing a justicar in an undead campaign. Seriously who does that? He honestly thought it would work. I just don't understand why.

You know I will submit a couple of my own stupid things. I was a druid named Sho (made up on the spot a couple of sessions prior) and we had just entered a mine owned by one of the characters. He was the lord of the surrounding land (which has given him no tangible or intangible benefits, we cannot even use the mine for money and stuff!) and something was wrong I think his brother was missing in the mine. So anyway we go in and we see a cloak on the wall. Alarm bells sound in my head I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt it was a Cloaker. None of the other PCs were going to go near the cloak because they saw my reaction to the description. Eventually I tell everyone that I'm going over to the cloak since my character would have. Immediately upon arriving it reveals that it is in fact a Cloaker. I die in the encounter when the party sword fighter (the lord) kills the Cloaker and me with a critical hit. The rest of the dungeon went off well until they met the mind flayer at the end (party was level 5-6) who also had the spellcasting power of a level 9 sorcerer. Stupid DM made a mistake when reading the mind flayer and thought all had these powers. I think the worst part though was that we...they won. When the DM realized his mistake he undid the dungeon and gave us all a level instead. My fellow PCs still are cowards, even the fighters.

Falrin
2007-10-04, 05:53 AM
This is one my players did:

The defenseless village gets raided by 30+ Goblins with some with a LvL in Fighter or Ranger riding on wolves and a 3rd LvL Ranger Boss.

They are sleeping in the tavern at the time and wake up from some commoners screaming fire and murder. They spot the enemy (and know them because they trashed their hide-out earlier) and start deciding on a tactic. This is what they came up with:

Hide in the town square.
Charge the first goblin they see.

They charge, the goblins spot them and start yelling 'they're here, they're here'. They stay in the middle of the square. The Wolf raiders start surrounding them and kick there asses (charge, ride-by). They stay in the middle of the square. Then 30+ goblins run up the square. They die.

Swordguy
2007-10-04, 11:23 AM
so our pedophile venerable cleric is wearing really heavy armor giving him a -10 on all swim checks. thus, the highest he could get is a 10, because he had no ranks in swim. the DC to get past even the first trap was 15 and we told him to wait on the shore.



Wait...what?

kemmotar
2007-10-04, 11:48 AM
A friend of mine, female feral human frenzied berserker wanted a horse...he didn't want to pay for it and we were in a small town anywayz...He goes up to the stable guy, grabs him from the tunic and tells him:
berserker:Give me the best horse you got and don't say a word(intimidate check natural 1)
stablemaster:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
the berserker than covers his mouth with his hand. DM calls for a str check, 17, you hold him. He then starts chatting with the cleric next to him(LG cleric of pelor), the cleric then starts telling him its a bad thing to do etc etc. A few minutes go by like this until the DM calls for a spot check. 14, you notice the stable master is turning blue since you have blocked off his air supply...
She lets go of the stable master who then slumps to the ground unconscious...
reaction:Oh my...(takes horse and leaves)...

same character:
we save the mayor of a small town from the clutches of a yakfolk(he almost killed all of us...) and so the mayor makes a special arena event to honor us. The above mentioned berserker decides she wants a part of it. Its an unarmed unarmored fight but she dont like it...she goes in the arena where the opponent is waiting. She kicks the guards that tell her weapons are not allowed and goes in. The opponenet flying kick charges her. She turns him into minced meat within seconds...she then turns on the guards, charging cleaving in the middle of the arena...(could never tell what a barbarian was thinking:smalltongue: )She then leaves the arena and looks for a horse. DM goes, you see your horse...reply came casually:i don't want mine i want to steal one...

i fly out of the town, following her on the stolen horse. Cleric follows silently on his own horse(surprisingly for this camapaign)...2 days later a village of yakfolk came back and razed the town...this too happened alot in our campaign...one village was turned into vampire spawns, one taken over by yakfolk, one was being attacked by undead but we just ignored the DM and went to waterdeep to buy weapons...we also killed a blue and a silver dragon in that campaign...strangely enough the cleave attack from killing the blue one did it...

Last one, and best of all, was from my raptoran wizard(he threw alot of lightning balls:smalltongue: ) he currently holds the record in my group for holding the most cursed items...First one was a book that we recovered from the cave of a ghostly dragon's cave, who during his lifetime had been half mad. He warned us not to take the book or we would face his wrath..but then again its a ghost, can't harm us can it?...oh well...me the barbarian and the cleric go through the door, they get poisoned(i was a sand master in sandform at the time so i didnt get infected by the poisoned air), next we break down a door that almost claimed a few of our limbs(frozen and really wanted our limbs to stick on it) the next door turns into a clay golem that only took bludgeoning damage...barbarian had a greatsword...so what do we do?me and cleric go invisibility, wave goodbye to the barbarian. we go into the room where the books was, cleric searches for traps(ye no rogue, just a 3man party)...i just walk up to the altar and take the book...surprisingly nothing happened at the time...so we storm out, the barbarian following, the golem following...we go through the traps again and finally reach the outside of the cave to find two dragons...a blue and a silver one both say: give me the book or die..then they start fighting...after a bit of thinking(and a failed will save on my part, now i never want to be parted from the book and lose -1wis/day) we decide to kill both of them.

When we returned to the city we find a funny looking temple that rose out of the ground in the inconspicuous village...We enter the funny looking temple and after a while discover the library. This was a temple built to protect the world from a book made by a demon. Anyone holding the book would gain imeasurable power bu would eventually be possessed by the demon and go around destroying everything in his path...we continue in the dungeon and find a room with three tables and a book on each table, detect magic tells me that its bigger than epic magic so i tell them,whatever you do don't pick up the books...then i go back to the library, on my way there i find a hidden door that had miraculously opened...in it i find a bleeding book that had fallen from an altar with powerful abjuration magic...thinking process*its bleeding...*must be the demonic book*but i'll be posessed*hmmm*got a good will save*cool* picks up book...makes will save*happy*

Meanwhile the barbarian picked up one of the other books...his eyes turns red and starts attacking the cleric...the cleric's reaction is quite unexpected...he picks up another book...then starts running...away towards the exit.

Thus, when i exit the room with the book in hand a big smile the DM says u see the cleric holding a book runnnig towards you*scorching ray*the cleric falls down burned and bloody...DM: you see the barbarian running towards you...*hold person*...i now pick up the cleric's book, DM: you strongly believe this is the true demonic book, i take the barbarians book DM: you strongly believe this one is the true demonic book...now i'm the owner of 4 cursed books and want to go out kill everything(1) on my way to the mountains where i will starve to death(2) after killing anyone i find to keep my books secret(3) while never wanting to be parted from the book of wisdom(4)...

*bows* thank you for the most cursed items in backpack award...the last words of my dying character later were:
Should have heard my mom and become a camel farmer...

Zim
2007-10-04, 01:07 PM
Really stupid: Tossed a Tree Token into the wrong part of a hallway and accidentally cut off the rest of the part in an area with a really tough bad guy fighter. :smalleek:

Stupider like a Fox: (same character) charged into a room with goblin archers positioned on top of scaffolding. Chopped down the support beams, sending them and the scaffolding crashing on my head. Big Half orc BBn type, so didn't die.:smallbiggrin:

The J Pizzel
2007-10-04, 02:55 PM
As a DM, I forgot about the damage reduction that my monsters had. They died far too quick. <_<

That is so me dude. I constantly forget what special qualities my baddies have.

pizzel

Tiki Snakes
2007-10-04, 03:44 PM
Here's a jiffy of a pickle our party Sorcerer put himself in, a session or so ago.

So, we've cased out this General Store (City based campaign) which is to have a Chaositec style illegal delivery later that night. The party attacks the shopkeeper, ties him up and splits his guard-dog in two. The Sorcerer, it is decided, should impersonate the Shopkeeper when his goons arrive with the shipment later that night, and sweet-talk the moronic Ogres out of guarding it.

Time passes, the ogres arrive, and our sorcerer is alone in the shop, us all hiding outside, and is well and truly disguised. Only, he acts nothing like the shopkeeper, and fails his bluff-checks to get the Ogres to go away.

He doesn't fail enough that they attack him, but they sit down to think. On the crate. He cuts his losses on diplomacy at this point, and decides to fetch the barbarian.

then, remembers something; "Oh yeah, I'm a Sorcerer! of course!"

So he casts sleep. the Ogres save all over the place. He casts Obscuring Mist (iirc), filling the entire building with inpenetrable mist, that massively reduces the Ogre's chance of seeing him enough to hit. One ogre charges him, narrowly misses crushing his skull and doubles the size of the doorway the Sorcerer was lurking in instead.

Problem; The ogre's are between the sorcerer and the rest of the party, who, arrayed outside, now have no-idea where he is, or what's going on.

The Sorcerer runs away, triggers an Attack of Opportunity, and is hit, reducing him to a pulpy red mass of -7hp in a single blow, from full health. (Yay, level 3's!)

Somehow we did manage to save him. It involved insulting the Ogre's, so they left the mist, one dragging his bloody ruin of a body behind him for snacking on later, and a quick rifle through several books for a ranged healing spell to stop him from dying. On the round he would have hit -10.

Good times, good times. Funnily enough, the character has been a lot more generous and willing to help out, since his near squishy-death experience. ^_^

Foeofthelance
2007-10-04, 08:27 PM
Hmm, have to be the time one of my friends got his girlfriend into a death oath she hadn't even been involved in.

I was running a mixed Ebberon/Krynn campaign, where warforged were being used by illithids and a lich to try and conquer Krynn, so that they could use it as a stepping stone to the rest of the planes. Well, early on in the adventure the characters came upon a small tower that had been possessed by some warforged and their hobgoblin lackeys, with a few dog constructs as guards. One of the players, a kender paladin, managed to charm one of the dogs into serving as his mount, and later used it to kill the warforged leader, who, being a recurring villian for the campaign. So naturally the little last messenger thing that lived in his chest escaped the players.

Several weeks later his girlfriend joined the game, but didn't have a character. He had another concept that he wanted to try, so he passed the kender paladin to her. The next week they all went to the Tower of High Sorcery so that the sorceresses could take their Tests. Part of the test involved raiding a minotaur camp (On a stupid DM note: If a level 12 sorceress is running around with level 5 characters, no, the CR appropriate minotaurs will not survive, even in large numbers. Blast the Deck of Many Things!) where, low and behold, the Warforged were waiting, including the captain from before.

The party split up, and the spell casters started the test, which essentially came down to an aerial duel against warforged wizards who had polymorphed into young Adamantine dragons. The boyfriend is meanwhile hiding as an undead rat, randomly casting Horrid Wilting at groups of minotaurs, while the rogues are sniping from the ramparts of the fort.

This leaves the kender paladin to investigate the building the wizards had flown out of, and as she gets close a small group of warforged fighters comes bursting out to join the fight, including the captain. Except...he's no longer a level 5 warforged, he's now a Warforged Titan with five levels of fighter. He instantly spots the kender, bellows a challenge about how he's going to have his vengance, and begins to chase her around the battle. She only managed to survive because the second sorceress died after being hit by a lightening bolt, ending the test.

Moral of the Story: If you ever pass a character on to another player, be sure to warn them about any waiting vendettas.

TheLogman
2007-10-04, 08:50 PM
I once ran a short 1-time campaign with some especially silly friends. When they encountered a Living Lightening Bolt, my sillier friend proclaimed: "Sooo, it's basically a living incarnation of Lightening? Sweet, I pee on it." Usually, this kind of talk would be disbarred, but it was Saturday night, and we were silly, so his next comment was: "What?! 3d6 Electicity damage AND it falls off?"

Azerian Kelimon
2007-10-04, 08:53 PM
That earns you the "best posted remark" of the year award.

BardicDuelist
2007-10-04, 09:10 PM
I forgot to check for traps.
In Tomb of Horrors.

In my defense, the DM completely changed the story, name, and various other things so that we didn't know we were playing it.

Azerian Kelimon
2007-10-04, 09:14 PM
*ignites a candle to soothe those PC's restless spirits* May they come back a pwnzoring ghosts.

Khanderas
2007-10-05, 09:17 AM
Made a half-orc Spirit Shaman.
With the Negotiator Feat. And 12 Int. And 6 STR.

What? It was my first character.

I made a dwarf. A caster dwarf. With 24 str (a slightly different d20 game where a dwarf's str was 4d6)

SpikeFightwicky
2007-10-05, 09:25 AM
My first 3.0 character was a Druid. I had played 2nd ed for years, and had certain preconceptions of everything.

Our party ended up stumbling upon a weird ancient temple in a forest, and after entering and exploring, we were attacked by 6 skeletons. I had roled high Init, so I went first. Now, in second ed., the usual skeleton had THAC0 20 and a single claw attack for 1d4. My AC was 18, which translated into 2nd ed. meant they'd hit on an 18 or higher. Liking my odds, I moved into melee range and attacked the vile affronts to natural order (the group was confused at my tactical decision) - and promptly missed. The 6 skellies closed in and rolled their 12 attacks at +1. I thought the DM had decided to keep rolling dice until my character died (I did die, but there was one skeleton leftover)... needless to say, I always give skeletons respect now.

SoD
2007-10-05, 09:49 AM
I beleived that our spell caster was a worse melee combatant than I was.

Long story short, he hit me with his greatsword, I died. Our party saw that and killed him.

I was killed by a spellcaster...who didn't have any spells prepared...in melee combat...in 1 round.

That was a blow to my pride.

Storm Bringer
2007-10-05, 10:39 AM
a mates mistake: opened a spellbook with a Explosive Rune on it. After being told thier was an Explosive Rune on it. took the roof down on him. he was dead dead. his comment? "I'm dead? WOW!" (in his defense, he was 9 at the time.)

mine: shouting "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough" to a end of dungeon boss. He wasn't just hard, 'e was 'ard.

other mate, in call of cuthulu (also in single figure age bracket. my parentsgaming group decided the best way to ensure sufficent players were in the area was to grow thier own. I am proof of this plans success.):
DM: you see a pit
player: I jump down it!
DM:.......
DM:you sure?
player:yhea!
DM: you don't want to....look down it first?
player:......
player: that would have been a good idea, but what the hey. I still jump down the pit!
DM: give me your character sheet....
Player (catching the undertone): awww.........

Afraidofsharpie
2007-10-05, 10:58 AM
I made my DM damn my knowledge of Economics and general lack of a business ethics sense of right and wrong. Was playing a Wizard with 24 Int, 20 Wis, 21 Cha who had been the Head of Treasury for a fallen kingdom. Deciding during a break in a campaign that she would use her expertise on all things economical, I proceeded to open up several various stores/trades which when combined with my impressive arcane might ended up with a large monopoly which covered pretty much ever form of trade/transport on close to 1/4th the campaign setting.

merrja666
2007-10-05, 11:17 AM
This didn't happen to me, but in a friend's game. It caused a TPK.

Everyone knows the Eye of Vecna (Replace your eye with Vecna's to get fantastic bonuses - see in the dark, see through all illusions, lay curses on others, dominate the will of those the user made eye contact with, and three other random divination abilities) and the Hand of Vecna (Chop off your left hand to get great bonuses - deal cold damage to whomever it touched, could drain the abilities of others and transfer them to the user, cam daze, weaken, paralyze, or kill nonevil creatures).

So what caused the TPK?

Head of Vecna...

Nostri
2007-10-05, 11:47 AM
One of the more entertaining things I've done recently is in the IK game I'm running the players got attacked by a pack of argus' (big two headed wolf/dogs) which would've been fine but I evidently forgot to tell them about the second head on the things. So the first group of attacks by them went something like this:
Me: So the first head attacks you and...*rolls* hits. Take *rolls* 5 damage.
Player: Alright I draw my gun and shoot at it.
Me: In a second, it still gets to attack with it's other head...
Player: Wait, other head? It grew another head?!?

The look of confusion that crossed my player's eyes was priceless but it was rather stupid of me to leave out their secondary cranium.