This is Life Ain't It wierd.

[Spiritbear]

Well my little pudding skins, This is the beggining, the begginging, it's the beggining to our story. sorry was listining to my 8 track player. any who. This is the begining you all start in the town square eating lunch one thing odd about the town square is it is shaped in a rectangle.

[The Neoclassic]

Stupid lack of geometrical symmetry, thinks Ruby, stewing silently. He shakes his head so that his long dyed-black bangs fall into his face to better conceal his eyes. All of his clothing is black as well, from his large hooded cloak to his fine satin gloves. His canvas backpack has the names of his favorite tragic bards scribbled all over it in black and purple ink.

"So, why are all of you following me? He glares at everyone around him as he sips his Extra Calorie-Free Diet Cepsi (which constitutes the entirety of his lunch). "I know none of you really care, so why don't you just let me be alone."

[tahu88810]

OOC: *Goes to figure out what the name of his character is then comes back*

Alveen strolled through the square, taking a final bite from his sandwhich before strumming a few cords on his guitar "WELL! LADDY-DOO! MY SLIGHTLY SELF-SADISTIC FRIEND!" he says jollfully (if thats even a word) to the angry looking dark-haired man, before spinning around playing a few more songs. He dances from one foot to the other and smiles "We aren't following you! We just happen to be behind you!" he looks around and then leans in, a serious look on his face "But the question is, my jolly ally of good and duckiness, who are we?" he whispers in a hushed, conspirical voice, before glancing around to make sure nobody is following him aswell.
Then suddenly the strange bard breaks into a grin and does a quick jig, playing a tune on his guitar before dancing off towards the other side of the square without waiting for a reply.

[The Neoclassic]

((OOC: What race is the bard? Dwarf or somethin?))

"The word is masochistic, not self-sadistic," mumbles Ruby, clearly annoyed. "And what's with the weird jig? Talk about running a perfectly gloomy mood..."

[tahu88810]

OOC: Human XD

Alveen seems to bend over backwards, looking at Ruby in a nearly crab-like pose as he plays the guitar, his shoulder-length hair brushing the ground as gravity takes hold "WELL! MY macho-y machosist furrendo...GLOOMY MOODS ARE THE WORST!" he does a sort of backflip, playing his guitar the whole time. The backflips end next to Ruby "AND!" he suddenly becomes very somber, quietly playing the tune for gospel music on his guitar "...The great and holy Squeakers hath once said 'Thou must be happy, if thy soul shall be fullfilled by the bubblebath of life, or else thy ducky shall no longer squeak..."

[wadledo]

(ooc: sorry, I haven't been conscious for a while, how much gold do we get a 4th? also, DWARVES!)


"OTAPOT IS THE GOD OF ALL!" shouts a nervous looking dwarf, "And he once said "remember the potato, for it shall be the only thing left in a moist and slightly damp world" so is the grace of otapot. I am Warf, by the grace of Otapot, Warf Goldenbeard, ...by the grace of Otapot!"

[The Neoclassic]

Finishing off his Cepsi, Ruby squints at the dwarf with confusion, though it's nearly impossible to tell due to the length of the hair over his eyes. Otapot certainly isn't the god of my line of work. Dumb potatoes. I'd rather have Soweyn's weapon and powers any day. Besides, carbs are bad for me.

None of this is said out loud, of course, since Ruby has already done more than enough talking for the time being. He takes out his long but extraordinarily slender dagger and stabs the empty soda can with it. This soda can is like my heart, empty and unloved but pierced with Soweyn's grace. Except, I just have a mundane dagger, so for the soda can that part is rather metaphorical.

[Spiritbear]

Hello Down there I am Dissembodied Voice 1863 Just back from Frog Star world B. I am glad you are all getting along so greatly But fate has chosen you all for a distinct purpose and that purpose is YOUR RENT IS DUE!!!!! thank you this message will explode in 5 4 NOW BOOM! roll for reflex if you want.

um gold yea um 5,400 and one potato

[The Neoclassic]

Reflex save of [roll0]


"Hmph. I don't owe anyone rent."

[Spiritbear]

Oh! Hold onthis is 1 Dungheap lane. Isn't, it?

[The Neoclassic]

"No, this is the rectangular center of town with the misnomer of Town Square."

[tahu88810]

Alveen lets out a manly yet girlish scream and ducks underneath a bench "THE ENEMYS OF ALL THAT IS DUCKY HAS COME TO DESTROY US!"

[Spiritbear]

so, zaphod beeblkebrox is not here or is that black adder sorry the dm is a terribly confusing person and gave me all these tasks I cant remember who to tell what to :frown: as the voice sobs you have no idea how hrd it is I have a wife and six kids you know

[The Neoclassic]

"Share in the pain of life," Ruby mutters. "At least you have a family. I am an orphan, as any stereotypical, angry, emo character should be!"

[tahu88810]

OOC: Mr.DM...can I suggest quotation marks? ""

Alveen begins to play a song on his guitar "Cheer up me anonymous friend! For the great Mr.Squeakers watches over you and your family, keeping them from coming to harm!"

[The Neoclassic]

"Mr. Squearkers?! And my name's Ruby, you dork, not like it matters." A metaphorical raincloud appears over his head.

[tahu88810]

Alveen looks over at Ruby "I was speaking to our friend in the sky, mr.Masochist!"

[The Neoclassic]

Ruby starts to sob, kicks his Cepsi can aside, and leaves the rectangular town square.

[Spiritbear]

As this bickering continues and the unnamed but not unnumbered voice dissapers yelling something about how he should put everyone in the total reality perception box for all the trouble. You here a loud roaring voice. A man who looks like he should be in a barbarshop quartet is standing there yelling. " Atttention Ladies and Gentelmen! May I have your attention Please! Are there any here fool, er Brave enough to step foot inside the horrible dungeon of the mad wizard at the carnival? The Wizard has lost his most prized possesion and would like you to retrieve it. You keep the gold and treasure you find all he asks is for the return of his most prized possesion! Are any of you up for the challenge?!"

[tahu88810]

Alveen perks up, hearing the man yell. He then rushes over to Ruby "Dont leave, friend! I have an idea!" he chooses his words carefully "Let us...darken...our spirits by entering that mad wizard's dungeon! MAY DEATH BE INSIDE!"

[Spiritbear]

"Come now any takers?" "You can't All be cowards!" "It's just a little death and dissmemberment." "Come any one One Copper and the battle is yours to begin."

[The Neoclassic]

Stopping thanks to Alveen's yelling, Ruby looks down at his shoes. "Fine, if you insist." He sighs dramatically but trudges over to the entrance of the carnival dungeon.

[Spiritbear]

The man In the strange outfit Points his walking cane at you three and says "Ah, we have three contestants a dwarf, a human with a splendid voice, and well this sad person here." "Please see the man in front of the entrance and face your doom er, adventure."

You walk past and sitting in a booth that looks like a miniture tower sits a man as you aproach he asks "Name and occupation please."

[The Neoclassic]

"Ruby Alei’ev’lli. Dark elf necromancer in touch with his inner demon of melancholy."

[Spiritbear]

"Magic user Necromancy,... NEXT!"

[wadledo]

"I AM WARF, CLERIC of Otapot! Do you have nachos?"

[Spiritbear]

"Ok Cleric..NEXT!" "Nachos can be purchased at the supply shop along with anything else they have for sail there"

[Moechi_Vill]

A young woman with cat-ears comes walking down the street. "Am I even in this game?" she asks curiously.

"Coz' if I am I think the weakest one of you should gimme their f***ing nachos already." She approaches the cleric, pulling the red sleeve of her cloak up to reveal a fine hand with delicate, slightly long nails. "Or you can be my pillow for bodyheat tonight."

"Does anyone know a Klondike bar?" Voiree Misallo says.
"I could use some drinks now. Maybe we can swap character sheets while we're at it and I can write mine up. Somebody stole it yesterday... I'm a bit confused about my identity right now but if you buy me some icecreams I'll let you all help me out =^_^=."

"Gomen Nasai. Please forgive my rudeness in threatening you all and giving directions & asking for friendship implicitly at the same time. It's an old habit of mine." the mithra bows to the gentle PC's present. "Enough about me." she stares at them all curiously.

<I hope we get to murder some NPC's together soon> she thinks.

VM smiles at the strangers with her puffy red chin, maroon-reddish brown hair and red eyes. She's small, just 11 years old, but on her first sheet she had written 5 after joining up with the Red Mage Academy after being raised by barnyard cats.

[Spiritbear]

As you ramble on the man behind the counter who has been quite is now shouting "NAME AND OCUPATION PLEASE!!!!!

[tahu88810]

"Traveling ROCKSTAR!" Alveen states for his profession with a smirk as he plays a song called 'Smoke on the Two parts Hydrogen one part Oxygen'.
After this he walks into the dungeon behind Otapot, playing random songs on his guitar as he goes.

[Spiritbear]

"I'll put you down as bard" As you enter you see a store with many shelves selling varius things that you may need or want all of a suddon a voice comes over the air. " attention adventurer shoppers we have a blue light special on rope in isle five." (this would be a good time to try to find things and yes nachos are on sale here right next to the squishies.)

[The Neoclassic]

"Should we get some rope? Maybe silk rope because it's smooth and lightweight.... Not like my opinion matters." Ruby glances at his new companions.

[tahu88810]

Alveen plays a continues to play his guitar "Well...a bard has no need for such things as our music allows us to achieve great feats, and Mr.Squeaky will allow me to obtain whatever I need..."
He smiles "However, Ruby, it would be nice to obtain whatever you think we need. You seem to have a bit more experience in this sort of thing than the rest of us..."

He smiles again.

[The Neoclassic]

"Always be prepared," mutters Ruby. He goes looking for some 50 ft of silk rope at the blue light special on Aisle 5.

[Spiritbear]

you find the rope and of course there is all types. all colors some cut into one inch strands. and one with a deal by 2 fifty feet of rope packages and get a free hand crossbow.

[The Neoclassic]

Ruby picks out some 50 ft of black silk rope and goes up to the counter to purchase it.

[Spiritbear]

you get greeted by an female elf that seems rather bord and in a monotone voice says" thank you for shopping at dungeon supply, would you like to buy another fifty feet of rope and get a free crossbow we are out of hand crossbows but I have a light one here. We also have a discount card you can sign up for."

[The Neoclassic]

"Uh, that's OK, I already have enough weapons." His voice is barely audible. "I may be intereste in the discount card, however. Is it like the ones from Hot Topic that don't expire and I get a holepunch every time I spend $25?"

[Spiritbear]

"Hot, what yea sure whatever. look, my break comes in five minutes so fill out this form so I can go get lunch, ok."

[Spiritbear]

As you leave the stoor you can either head out the entrance or go down since you want to gain levels money stuff I assume you head down the stairs you reach a door that says LVL 1 goblins kobolds and other such things this way.

[The Neoclassic]

"But we're level 4," whines Ruby. He looks desperately for a sign appropriate to his character level.


Spot check for a sign for other levels:
[roll0]

[tahu88810]

"FINALLY SOME ACTION!"
Alveen lets out a triumphant yell as he charges into the level 1 area, slinging his guitar over his shoulder and drawing his rapier as he goes.

[Spiritbear]

And so you enter into level one as soon as you past the entrance way you hear in a female voice. "Welcome to level one." If you go out and come in again the message is repeated. And as you walk past this you see a group of adventuerers fighting off a collection of goblins you notice that two strange things about the adventuerers first of all they all seem to have the health of a wizard and they are all wearing Red Shirts.

[The Neoclassic]

"They're red shirts. Let's kill them." For the first time, Ruby's voice carries a hint of conviction and malice.

[wadledo]

"Let us go into battle like the dwarves of old, with buckets on our heads and hallucinogenic mushrooms in our stomachs!
CHARGE!"
He charges into the nearest wall, gets up, and charges into the wall opposite.
"I'm sorry, I am not used to these "wall's".
Let us truly slaughter them for experience!"

[The Neoclassic]

Ruby jiggles his hand. "My paper heart to yours."


Initiative: [roll0]

On his turn, Ruby casts cause fear on the nearest red-shirt within the spell's 35 ft range, preferrably a tougher-looking one with lots of armor. If successful (Will save DC 15), the target is shaken for one round; otherwise they are frightened for [roll1] rounds. The spell is not effective if the target has more than 5 HD.

[wadledo]

Init[roll0]

Move 20 feet towards the red shirts,
Ready attack if any enemies get near me.

[tahu88810]

Init:[roll0]
Attk: [roll1]
Dmg: [roll2]

Alveen lets out a battle cry and charges to the nearest red shirt or goblin, attacking with his shocking rapier.

[Spiritbear]

You both hit a red shirt who goes down easily. you notice that they all have the same badge Lt. Alenn Smithee ten exp if you know where that refrence comes from.

[The Neoclassic]

I don't know that specific Lt., but red-shirts are a clear Star Trek reference; they would always get killed on missions while characters with names were less likely to die, and main characters were nearly invisible.


"Waste of a spell if he'll die anyway..." Ruby angrily waves his dagger and runs at one.


On his next turn:
Attack [roll0]
Damage [roll1]

[Spiritbear]

you stab the red shirt and supprisingly he does not die he actualy looks suprised. He looks happy and starts to laugh and dance and sing where upon he falls backwords cracking his head open like an egg and letting all the little brain chunks scatter on the floor.

[tahu88810]

OOC: Do we get xp for every kill? Even the ones we don't make?

Alveen dances forward through the battle, plunging his rapier into the chest of another red shirt with joyfull glee.

[wadledo]

SMASHYS!

He charges into the fray, bashing in the red shirts heads.

Attack [roll0]
Damage [roll1]

[Spiritbear]

as you slaughter the red shirts with glee you notice the goblins have now produced folding lawn chares tropical drinks and popcorn and are watching the show. you all go down to level three but then go up to level five.

[The Neoclassic]

Aww, I know you're the DM, but must you god-mod us? :smallfrown:

[Spiritbear]

dont worry the idea just popped into my head by the way how do you do that spoiler bit every body knows how to do that but me and dont worry I only did it once it does not happen that often sort of a quirk of the dungeon actualy and you will need it for what is going to be thrown at you.

[The Neoclassic]

OK. To do a spoiler, you write SPOILER in capital letters and enclose it in []. At the end of the block of text, put /SPOILER, again inside [].

[Spiritbear]

I got it! yeay! yippie! yahoo!
You pass through the goblins who scatter when you aproach going oh no not gunna bother. you find a few treasures here and there but nothing worth noting A few coppers and a dagger that looks very thin does not look like it should be used in combat however as you hold it you feel its weight it almost begs to be thrown. any way you pass thorugh level one which seems to have dead bodies thrown About you pass through a few more levels that seem to have been cleared out already There seems to be nothing left. however as you traverse down you see a door that is not only not open but covered in sticky notes they read Don't enter, Go Back, You are doomed, Milk Eggs Bread, Clean your room, You will die, Burn in hell, etc. Do you open the door? Do you go up and clean a room? Do you go grocery shopping? which is it my little pudding cups?

[tahu88810]

Y'know what...
I knew this was comedy but...it isn't that funny...
and even as a funny RP there is still supposed to be some kind of actual gameplay. Which there isn't.
If things don't change, I quit. -_-

[Spiritbear]

This was all to set the tempo and to see what everyone does the next bit shall be a lot more interesting as this is the true beggining of your challenges. do not worry each of these is set and there is treasure to earn and things to learn all sorts of odd esperiances await.
And so you open the door and walk in ahead of you you see a long path sollid stone on either side of you you can see just to the edge of the hall. Any one checking for traps or such I will need rolls I will also need marching order.

[The Neoclassic]

((Ruby doesn't have any trap-finding stuff so he'll leave searching to another party member; he'll go in the middle of the marching order.))

[tahu88810]

Being the natural hero of the party, Alveen and soon-to-be cleric of Mr. Squeakers heads to the front of the party.
He does not search for traps, as he cant.

[Moechi_Vill]

Voiree catches up with the others and tags along right behind Alveen as she enters the unexplored room. She's brought two-thirds of a tomato and egg sandwich from her satisfying breakfeast. Unfortunately she left the milk carton behind.

[Spiritbear]

Ok Well I will nead search checks then and as for the first part of your jurney you shall find that it comes to a fork in the road one path leads left and one leads right choose dun, dun, dun, any way I will need search checks and if ya an elf of a dwarf definitly roll spot checks.

[wadledo]

ooc: sorry, it's been crazy lately.

I'll go second, and
Search [roll0]
Normal spot [roll1] <V: that's mildly ironic
Spot vs. stonework [roll2] search not spot, so 6.
Dungeoneer [roll3]
Architecture [roll4]
and 1=left 2=right
[roll5]

[Moechi_Vill]

Ahhh! The orange telechubby is back!!! Nice to see ya. :) (It so wasted me to see it in my dizzy haze yesterday)---

Ermm, VM is not going to bother with it. She's a Mithra and it's her job to be small and unnoticeable and let the GM roll the dice for her. She looks a bit around, letting her razor sharp senses do the hard work but doesn't put any special effort into it. If she senses something she'll tug the elf's shirt/sweater/skirt to warn her and point at it (being careful to not extend her index finger to far).

Yay! Thanks for allowing me to continue to play.

[The Neoclassic]

Search: [roll0]
Spot: [roll1]

Ruby is an elf, too.


"Why can't we go left?"

[wadledo]

"I'm a dwarf.
...........
It's kinda what we do.

[Spiritbear]

And so you walk left you notice however that there is a strange section of the wall that seems almost removable. after some pulling you find a scroll/ It reads as follows I heal from harm I hurt when I heal If you do not defeat me your life will I steal. Signed Nilbog I will nead a knowledge history or a bardic knowledge check.

[tahu88810]

[spoiler]What if nobody wants to remove that part of the wall? Hmmm?

RAILROADING I SAY! RAILROADING![spoiler]

Bardic Knowledge: [roll0]

[wadledo]

Knowledge (history) [roll0]

[Spiritbear]

Ok fine if ya dont remove it you can read it on the wall. either way the religion check reveals some strange tales of an offshoot of goblins. They were cursed to forever be the oppisit of there kin though more powerful they are hate filled creatures pain and misery is there pleasure while kindness and love there ethima.

[The Neoclassic]

"Well, did you figure anything out?" mutters Ruby.

[tahu88810]

Alveen raises an eyebrow "...huh..."

I was just kidding about being mad... >_>

[wadledo]

"Well, did you figure anything out?" mutters Ruby.

"Goblins with more issues than you!"

[The Neoclassic]

"I hate goblins, trying to be more in touch with their feelings than I am."

Ruby sulks.

[Spiritbear]

so you have your hall way and it is rather boring seems to be a simple hallway but then you reach an area with four doors. which do you choose?

[tahu88810]

Enialis charges forward and chooses a random door.

[roll0]
1 = far right
2 = far left
3 = close (or center) left
4 = close (or center) right

[Spiritbear]

YOu enter the door and see in it a treasure chest. it is rather large locked with what seems to be a some what complicated lock you also notice behind you that the door is no more it is simply a wall.

[The Neoclassic]

Ruby's eyes fill with tears. "Locked... now what can we ever do?"

[Moechi_Vill]

Voiree Misallo

... c*cks her crossbow and unloads it at anything suspicious that isn't herself or a party member, including inanimate objects, surfaces and/or furniture.

[tahu88810]

Enialis sighs "Well...time for my awsome ROCK STAR POWERS!" he then slings his acoustic over his shoulder and gets read to play.
"Alright, Rogue...get ready to unlock that lock...I'ma gonna play a song to make it possible"

[Spiritbear]

Forgive me forgeting but do we have a rogue? if not ok then um, uh, well I don't realy know. ya all could check a little around the room.

[Moechi_Vill]

Voiree walks around the room and pats the surfaces with a friendly touch.

[Spiritbear]

Over in the corner after moving a bit of dust you see a little riddle. I am open when I'm not closed when open. You might need the key if you misinterpret me but just use your curiosity.
By IMa Nutcase

[Moechi_Vill]

I bash and slice at it with my sword.

[The Neoclassic]

"I hate riddles." On the verge of tears, Ruby searches the room for some more information, feigning curiousity.


Search: [roll0]

[tahu88810]

Alveen, remembering that Enialis is in a different campaign, draws his rapier with a flourish and begins to slice up everything in the room.

[Moechi_Vill]

All hail the overworld.

[tahu88810]

Eh, I'm pulling out of this campaign...
Farewell and Best of Luck!

[Spiritbear]

As you scratch and strike at the chest. the lock falls to the floor and it opens. Revealing several items one is a ring with seven keys another is a strange pair of gauntlets. an odd dagger. and at last two pieces of parchment.

[Spiritbear]

And at that moment due to the Dms home life becoming more and more insane his heads explode you all become gods and yea gunna have to stop it there