Help! I need a very punny character (level 8).

[mgshamster]

Hello!

I'm joining an ongoing campaign this weekend, but it's just a one shot for me. The game is light hearted and full of comedy.

I was told that the DM loves puns. They're playing Princes of the Apocalypse. The main NPC is named Captain Planit. Their characters are:

• A Halfling divine Soul Sorcerer that used to be a warlock (Mystra uncorrupted his heart)
• A Fire Genasi Archaeologist Archer Fighter.
• A Stone Golem (Warforged) Eldritch Knight
• A White Dragonborn Cleric reincarnated in water from a green Dragonborn ranger (Spot the reference)
• A winged Tiefling warlock

So I'm requesting help making a character based on a good (or reeeaaallly bad) pun.

All 5e material is allowed, including UA. This character does not have to be viable in any way, so long as I can get a good groan from the group out of it.

[nickl_2000]

UA Sea (see) Sorcerer that has a maximized perception modifier
Whispers Bard who focuses on spells that are as loud as possible
Cowardly Valor Bard
Warforged Moon Druid
Desert Land Druid who is a Pastry chef (desert, dessert)
UA Stone Sorcerer who enjoys a little bit of "herb" now and then
Grave Domain Cleric who is always somber and could be described as having a grave attitude
Cavalier Fighter who has a very haughty attitude (one might say he is usually cavalier about it all)



A few decent ones, although the one that my kids would groan the most about is Sea (see) Sorcerer.

[RedMage125]

So you want fun choices, right? Not necessarily optimal?


Aaracockra character trained as a barrister (lawyer), proficient in History, Inisght, Deception, Persuasion (might need to be a Rogue). Name is Har-Vee.
Sun Soul Monk (bonus if your DM lets you be a Vanara, found in Heroes of the Orient on DM's Guild), named Songo-Kuu.
Halfling or Gnome Mystic with the Criminal background. He's on the lamb for his crimes, but hasn't been caught yet. He's a Small Medium at Large.
This one a player actually did when I ran PotA. Dragonborn Fey-Pact Warlock (poison breath, flavored as faeire dragon's breath weapon). His Eldritch Blast is a rainbow blast of color (shouted "friendship is magic" sometimes when he did it). His own scales gradually progress in color through the rainbow of colors, eventually becoming black (like old 2e fairie dragons).
Saw this idea on the forum, make a Warforged Chain-lock with a Sprite. Play it as though YOU are the sprite, and the WF is your battle mech. Name it 6UN-D4M.
Sorcerer who doesn't believe in magic. Refers to his spells as "yet-to-be-explained application of unconventional science".
Kenku with the Sage background who grew up in an abandoned library. Very intelligent. Can read a write in several languages, but the only people he's ever heard speak were guttersnipes who all sounded like they were from Jersey or something.
Also, one of mine (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?553776-Kobold-Paladin-Ideas). Kobold Devotion pally. Lawful Good. Play like Don Quixote or Minsc from Baldur's Gate.
Ride a pony named "Indominatable". Reflavor the beg and cower as him swigning his sword and verbally lambasting the enemies for being evil...in his high-pitched, squeeky voice.


My other favorite thing would be to pick Class/Background (and possibly Race) combinations that seem odd.

Barbarian with the Sage background. Kobold for even more silliness.
Goliath Sorcerer with Tavern Brawler feat. Cast Fist (Quicken shocking Grasp, then use Attack action to actually punch them).
Or just make some savage race "fist wizard" (Monk class). Dress like a wizard/witch doctor, however, and claim most things you do are magic (even better if very low INT).
Goliath "Rogue" (Barbarian class), no training in Stealth, lots of Intimidate. When spotted, "sneaking", uses Intimidate to "convince" them they saw nothing.
Fiend Warlock, Acolyte background. Serves a cult of an archdevil or demon prince, but evangelizes as if they were a benevolent god. "Graz'zt is the god of hedonistic pleasure!"


That's all I got for now.

[MagneticKitty]

Could go with a barBEARian (barb + moon druid) all your forms are bears. Totem of the bear if you can fit it on there.

Race: Bugbear werebear. Of course.
Background outlander (I was, in fact, raised by wolves bears.)

This may be polarizing, but bare with me, you gotta claw your way to the top pun spot: use so many bear puns that you become unbearable. If you use barely any I will be sad.

[mgshamster]

You are all amazing. Thank you for the wonderful ideas.

[dragoeniex]

I'd like to recommend a Whispers Bard secret agent of the femme fatale variety. She travels near and far to collect wonderful stories and secrets. Her name?

Bond. Vega Bond.

If you're high enough level, take something like Animate Objects to weaponize a bunch of keyrings you keep on your person. "You should know, fellows. The only keys I play are sharp!"

Magical Secrets Haste or Slow to change the "rhythm" or "tempo" of an encounter. Someone in danger of being crushed? They'd better look out, or they'll "B flat!"

Light or Prestidigitation as a cantrip to create her own spotlight. All the one-liners and music/show puns possible.

If the group has to sneak somewhere, be sure she encourages the others to be "pianissimo" about it.

[Teaguethebean]

A character that I have been thinking about as a joke is a whispers bard assimar that exclusively uses ASMR to cast their spells.

[CNagy]

I'm rather fond of playing Bard. James Bard. Not a terribly intricate concept, but my table-to-groan ratio is nearly 100%.

[Pex]

Human warrior, named Aden. You are a really nice guy. Funny, friendly, likes everyone. You want people to introduce you as "Hey everyone meet my pal, Aden!"

Play a rogue. Character name: Rouge

[JakOfAllTirades]

My worst pun ever was the Gnome Assassin named Silent G.

Feel free to borrow that one; their group is lacking a rogue.

[Pex]

Give your character a flaw of likes to consume a lot - eat, drink, acquire, whatever.

He's a glutton for PUNishment.