Do you prefer being a DM or a player?

[GreyBlack]

The title says it all.

I recently actually sat down and got a chance to be a player in D&D after many, many months of DM'ing. It was a good group and it was a fun time, but I found myself just kinda wishing that I was back behind the screen and running the game myself, so I finally accept that I am a DM at heart and prefer being a DM.

However, I'm curious about everyone else. DM or player? Or do you like both in equal measures?

[Tawmis]

The title says it all.
I recently actually sat down and got a chance to be a player in D&D after many, many months of DM'ing. It was a good group and it was a fun time, but I found myself just kinda wishing that I was back behind the screen and running the game myself, so I finally accept that I am a DM at heart and prefer being a DM.
However, I'm curious about everyone else. DM or player? Or do you like both in equal measures?

My preference is to DM, because I am (an aspiring) writer at heart - and DMing allows me to create custom worlds, history, gods, and stories - that the characters then interact with, shape and more often than not change. Players (as I am sure EVERY DM knows) more often than not do the unpredictable that you may not have anticipated in a campaign - and it forces me to think and be creative on my feet! It's a wonderful feeling when they can do something so off the wall that I didn't foresee and my mind snaps back how to roll with it - and I do - and my players are never the wiser that I was making stuff up on the fly because of what they'd done!

That said, I enjoy being a player if the setting is right. Eons and eons and eons ago - when the Dragonlance Adventures (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragonlance_Adventures) book first came out for D&D - a friend of mine had invited me to join his game. I had _never_ been to any of his games, and I knew he played D&D - but we used to game in different circles. The fact that he was doing Dragonlance (which I am a HUGE fan of the series of books) game had piqued my interest - and when I inquired about playing a Kender - he asked me some fair questions ("Are you wanting to play just to disrupt the game?" ... as a DM should ask when allowing Kender, and then gave me a situation and asked how my Kender would react - and I roleplayed it as the Kender - and he loved it. He then told me I was the only Kender in the party as none of the others "passed" who had asked). And so Braid Lockpick was born. When I got there it was in a trailer park - in the "Rec Room" there. And I was surprised to see all the lights out - and it was all by candle light. It had thrown me off because while I had done RPing D&D quite a bit, I had never been in a game where the mood was set so well... We played for almost a year, like twice a week. I didn't think I'd click with the folks when I got there - but as soon as everyone got into character - I wasn't sitting at the table with them. We were all of our characters. It was truly an incredible experience.

[LudicSavant]

I require a steady diet of both, just as surely as I need both food and water.

[Laserlight]

I DM every week but I prefer to be a PC.

[Aergentum]

I really love to DM, hombrew stories and even adventure modules, but I'd really love to play one or two charaters once in a while T.T

I played with a group a while ago the Starter Kit, but the DM managed to make a TPK twice -.-
In another group we started a homebrew campaign and then one of the other players left so in the end it was me, my GF and the DM...

I have no luck in being a simple player in D&D.

[Cheesegear]

I absolutely prefer to be a player.
Unfortunately, in our group, if I don't DM, everything falls apart. :smalltongue:

[Marcloure]

The more I play, for some reason, the more I feel like the challenges and the fun is always the same. I still like it, but I find that playing is sometimes more exhausting (as in exhaustion of new things to do). Running a game is never the same, each session brings new challenges, new scenarios, new characters, and new ways for the DM to try their skills.

Another thing that I really enjoy in DMing is that it feels more like skills matter, and that skill is rewarded in real life. I feel like being able to pull an emotive encounter, to successfully put a hard choice in front of the players, to present them with a mortal encounter, etc. is extremely rewarding when done right. The look on the player's faces and all the talks after the table about how good or tense the session was is really rewarding for me as a DM. I don't know, being a great player doesn't feel so good (or maybe I just ain't a great player). That is why I prefer to be a DM.

[Innocent_bystan]

I prefer playing, but I feel like none of my friends DM the kind of games I like to play. So I usually end up DM'ing the games I would like to play in.

[Rukelnikov]

My first year or two I'd rather a player.

Then once I started DMing I loved it, and wouldn't change it for playing for like a decade (I still played though, my group had a couple more DMs so we took turns)

after that... I kinda went 50/50, and nowadays, I haven't DMed for like a year or more. I still like DMing, but don't have the drive to do a campaign unless its something "new".

[MrStabby]

I have mostly DMed and so far I have preferred it. That said I have some challenges with it - constantly wishing that I could redo some adventures I have built as I think of improvements.

For being a PC, I just find there are no characters I really want to play.

[SheVa]

I started playing D&D 5E with being a DM - no prior TTRPG experiemce at all ^^ It actually took almost three years until I got my first chance to play in a one-shot, and five years before I could play in a regular campaign.

I like both sides tremendously, its really hard to chose.

What I like about being the DM is the responses I get from my players - its amazing to make people genuinely feel for caharacters and care for the situations they go through.

What I like about being a player is the opposite side of that coin - its always a bag of wonders, you never know what the DM will put you through, and solving those challenges as a team is extremely rewarding.

If I had to pick, I think I prefer being a DM. If it wasn't so much more work, maybe the decision would be easier :P

[hymer]

If I have to choose, I'd choose DMing. Compared to playing a PC, it allows me to broaden my interaction with the game, its rules, and the campaign world. But I sorely miss playing when I don't get to. I suspect I would miss DMing even more if I only got to be a player, but I don't think it's ever come to that: There is much more demand for DMs than players in my groups.

[Davo]

I haven't DM'd since the 80s. I prefer playing - less to be concerned about, less responsibility, and fewer details means I can know my abilities better. And a steady group is much more enjoyable than random AL pickup games.

[darknite]

I love to play but I DM frequently, too, and enjoy that nearly as much.

[NRSASD]

I've been designated DM for a couple years now, but I'm finally getting to be a player. I thought I would love it wholeheartedly, but the DMing itch is surprisingly strong! Consider me a vote for both, but that may change, pending further data.

[Hypersmith]

I'm a great fan of DMing, and can't go too long without it - I can go longer without being a player, so I suppose my preference swings that way. Still, I really like being subject to being surprised and getting to have a single character going. More relaxing, but both are great fun.

[zinycor]

am kind of 50/50, am lucky enough to be able to play or Gm if I choose to, so I do.

[Zhorn]

I like to be a player a small bit more, but the DM itch is strong enough that running a game as DM is a major draw for me.

[GreyBlack]

Fascinating! I actually didn't expect to see more people preferring DM'ing to PC'ing! Granted we are on a D&D forum but that's neither here nor there.

Let's try and keep this going! I really want to hear from people!

[KorvinStarmast]

Do you prefer being a DM or a player? Yes. The alternative is "no game."

I spent a lot of years as a DM. I really enjoy playing now.

[No brains]

I prefer being a player because that gives me the chance to focus on the fine details of one character rather than spreading myself thin trying to provide flavor to a world.

Also when I come up with a stupid idea as a player, I can count on the DM saying no and we move on. When I come up with a stupid idea as a DM, I worry the entire table gets progressively more annoyed with me.

[zinycor]

Also when I come up with a stupid idea as a player, I can count on the DM saying no and we move on. When I come up with a stupid idea as a DM, I worry the entire table gets progressively more annoyed with me.

Omg, that thought haunts me sometimes.

[Man_Over_Game]

Yes. The alternative is "no game."

Same here. I like being a player, because I like to be lazy. It's that simple. DMs go through a lot of pressure, so sometimes the extra baggage weighs down the fun.

Still, there's nothing like that moment when your players take a deep breath after an event of your making.

[Haldir]

I like a good mix of both.

DMing is by far easier for me because I've been doing this so long that I can get a game going on the fly. Easy.

Playing, weirdly, is more work because I actually have to fill out sheets and check with the DM about multiclass, race options, houserules... I don't make simple or 1D characters, and I don't make non-optimized characters. So it's less relaxing than just making everything up as I go.

[Copper_Dragon]

I usually prefer DMing. The hardest thing for me as a player is sticking to the same character for a long stretch and not getting bored.

I've always thought I'd have the most fun as a player with a killer DM... hard to get tired of a character when the mortality rate is so high, right?

[Particle_Man]

Player. I’m lazy.:smallcool:

[No brains]

Omg, that thought haunts me sometimes.

I'm relieved to hear that I'm not the only one.

Stupid negativity bias. I can get everyone laugh off of multiple stupid jokes, create engaging mythologies, and give the players chances to shine, but all I remember are the times I blank up.:smallfrown:

[Waazraath]

I like it mixed, about 1/3rd of the time DM'ing, and 2/3rd of the time playing. At the moment, I'm playing in 1 campaign as a DM and in 1 as a player, so that's ok.

[DigoDragon]

I require a steady diet of both, just as surely as I need both food and water.

I feel the same way. My struggle is when I come up with a fun campaign idea I want to play in, but I don't know anyone who could faithfully run it other than me. XD

[Torpin]

I prefer DMing, but every once in a while its nice for one of my players to run a session or two

[Theodoxus]

I prefer playing, but I feel like none of my friends DM the kind of games I like to play. So I usually end up DM'ing the games I would like to play in.

This is so me. Though lately, every game I've played in, has lacked the je ne sais quoi, the excitement, I guess, that I'd felt in days long past.

I'm also losing my spark as a spontaneous DM - though I think that's more to getting senior moments than anything... just need to shift to more detail and outlined notes than pure winging it.

[PhoenixPhyre]

I'm a DM first and foremost. Don't get me wrong, I'll play just fine.

But a large part of the enjoyment for me is in building worlds and watching what players do to them. That creative destruction, the needs of a campaign, are what prompt me to write and make me the most creative. Plus, I get bored easily, and other people often take forever to do stuff. As a DM, however, I'm constantly involved in everybody's turn/actions, so I stay interested throughout. Watching DMs dither, look stuff up, or watching players do the same kills the flow. I'd rather they just act, even at the risk of getting it wrong. Fix it later, but for now enjoy the complications these "sub-optimal" choices bring.

[dragoeniex]

Player. I enjoy leaning into team dynamics and watching PC relations flesh out over time, and I'm usually trying to assist the DM by pointing the group toward dangled plot threads and giving in-character reasons for it. More of the players tend toward the Observer end of the spectrum rather than Actor. So I'm usually trying to pseudo co-DM a bit by nudging others to respond as appropriate, having my character walk off-screen to cut if we get into awkward silence and chirping crickets, etc.

Helping the team run is one of my favorite aspects. The other is deep-diving into a character study of who I'm playing over a long stretch of time. Who wants to be the protagonist when you can be the interesting side character that gets hard-hitting focus episodes once in a while, am I right? And even if it takes gentle prodding, it's great to see others go through simultaneous developments.

Also, it's a blast switching off with the other players between "totally carried that fight" and "spent half the dungeon bleeding out and being protected by the power of friendship." DMing is fun from a writing perspective, but I just really enjoy the camaraderie PCs get to build up between adventures.

[Demonslayer666]

I much prefer playing because I don't know what's coming and it's fun to experience it.

DMing can get really tiresome when players don't appreciate your efforts, but I like running a game and seeing how well it turns out when I use my style. I enjoyed running my last campaign very much.

[DMThac0]

I lean strongly to the DM side of things. I love the challenge of juggling my players' stories, the game's stories, and making sure to tie up all the loose ends and plot holes. I love the moments when my players completely destroy the plans I've put together and make me have to redesign the session on the fly. I enjoy all of the craziness that is being DM.

As a player I find myself all too often being the "go to" guy rather than just another player. People recognize my understanding of the game and frequently turn me into the de facto leader of the group. They'll ask me questions that should be directed to the DM. I don't get to drop into the character I want to play and forget about the mechanical side of the game. It's difficult to be surprised by the modules and adventures that are generally run since I'm familiar with many of the structures and plots. I tend to "figure it out" much faster than the rest of the party, or in a homebrew I make decisions that the DM hadn't expected us to make because I figured out the plot way too early.

Outside of that complaint, being a player does allow me to test out ideas that I come up with as DM and see how I can manipulate the game. Making characters based on ideas rather than mechanics and seeing if I can make them work. It turns into an experiment :)

[Maelynn]

I've only started DM-ing about a year ago and have been a player on and off for about 10 more. I've always enjoyed the adventures I found my PC in, the interactions we had as a party and with the NPCs. My current group has been together for about 4 years, with the current DM in place for about 2. Though for the past half year or so, the fun has been slowly seeping out of it. Probably a combination of a few factors, but the main ones being an increasingly chaotic planning and the ever-so-slight nagging feeling the DM has it in for me. I'm sad that I'm no longer looking forward to those sessions as much as I used to.

Being a DM, however, is exciting me tremendously. I can let all my creative juices flow in thinking up scenarios and drawing maps and acting out the NPCs. Yes, it's a lot of work, but it feels so incredibly rewarding and it's a lot of fun.

So at the moment, DM is my preferred choice.