That guy at work....

[RandomNPC]

So we all know that guy at work. Maybe a slacker, maybe a brown noser, he's that guy, everyone knows one.

So let's keep names out of this, keep it down to actions and claims of actions, last thing we need is "yea this guy RandomNPC over at this place where i work..." but it's still fun to hear about it.

i've got a few, but heres the winner.

The bosses daughters boyfriend.
He claims he was using laptop computers to remotely run radio controled boats. in 1980.
he's a kung fu master. who only has beleiveable fight stories about him not winning.
he was partying with Keith Ledger in a bar, dropping acid in 1980. When he was twelve.
This guy has a Boat piolit licence for anything up to 100 feet of boat. but he doesn't live near a decent body of water.
He heard someone say the word "stitch" while talking about heavy machinery, and brought up how great a designer and tailor he is.
He's been doing the same job for almost a year and needs re-trained three times a week.

come on, you know these guys, everyone works with one. i work with a few but he takes the cake. what kind of people do you work with?

[Brickwall]

I didn't work at my only job for long enough to meet that guy/girl. I'm sure there was one somewhere, though.

[Catch]

While at work, everyone, look around closely and carefully. If you can't immediately point out "that guy," chances are it's you.

[FoE]

I know a guy at work who believes that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) are in league with the Masons in a conspiracy to murder him. And he brings it up every friggin' time I see him.

He in fact did get into a shootout once with the police about twenty years ago (he has the scars to prove it). The reasons why escape me; he's told me that it had to do with drug trafficking and also covering up a murder, almost in the same breath.

In any case, he did spend some time in a mental institution — my belief is that the trauma of his experience unbalanced his mind — and he now works as a leaflet inserter/janitor at the newspaper where I work. Since the incident, virtually every ill that occurs in his life is a result of this conspiracy.

(In case you're wondering, he does take medication, but because he's an alcoholic, he mixes his medication with booze, which isn't ideal for producing the intended effect.)

I've talked to him a few times — he reads voraciously and is very knowledgeable on a variety of subjects — but in every conversation he inevitably brings up the conspiracy theory. (I think he even believes that I'm an agent of the conspirators, to some extent.)

Partly what's maddening is that the nature of the conspiracy is never the same twice: except for a few indisputable consistencies (him getting shot, for example), the details change from one version to the next. And he often makes up nicknames for people, places and things based on some reference only he can understand. I've stopped trying to sort it out.

And, unfortunately, he tends to be pretty abrasive. He tends to berate me for not immediately reaching the same conclusions he has or talks condescendingly for not remembering the random details that hold his stories together.

Maybe that's not the type of "guy at work" you were looking for, but that is certainly my best example of an oddball co-worker.

[Arameus]

I'll call him 'Lobster' to protect his identity, but that's the only humanity I'll offer him.

He's universally disliked, and for good reason: in addition to being an absolutely-terrible dishwasher, he chooses to walk around and talk to people who hate him rather than doing any work. The work that he does do is sub-par, which just adds to his inefficiency because he has to wash everything at least twice.

Now, here's what we don't like about him, because that's the least of Lobster's problems: He's just so frickin' wierd. His hair, his clothing, the purple sunglasses he wears regardless of weather, setting, or whether he's in doors, the Rubik's cube he carries around (which he cannot solve and has never solved) which compels him to attempt to work with one hand on things that obviously necessitate two, and the talking. The constant talking. About ANYTHING.

Or even about nothing. One of his favorite things to ask people is 'what is your favorite nautical animal?' Most of his replies go along the lines of 'GO AWAY,' but he will, regardless of your answer, spend at least fifteen minutes of your precious time describing the inherent superiority of the lobster. Mind you, he's doing this while wearing purple sunglasses indoors holding a Rubik's cube, and letting work stack up that will negatively affect the entire restaurant.

I know it's not just me being harsh; no one like him; even after a single day of working at the steakhouse, not a single person there had any less than a profoundly-negative attitude toward him. (A lot of us work at two places that are both owned by the same guy, a sushi bar and a steakhouse; he's usually at the sushi bar, and switched over for a day or two to fill in a gap.)

Well, he's 'the guy,' plain and simple.

Answer to question below: Barely.

[Da Beast]

I'll call him 'Lobster' to protect his identity, but that's the only humanity I'll offer him.
.
lots of crazy stuff
.
.

How does this guy still have a job?

[evisiron]

I have not had that bad an exp, but one guy I used to work along-side would burst into a screeching sing along with whatever was in the CD player (back of house at pizza hut). Nothing makes me want to throw pointy objects like his annoying voice.

And yes, I asked in decreasingly (actual word?) subtle ways for him to stop. I am pretty sure removal ...forceful removal... of his vocal cords was the next logical step.

[Icewalker]

Yep, decreasingly is a word.

Sound like some...interesting coworkers. Kinda reminds me of Dilbert.

[Vuzzmop]

In my theatre company, there is a guy who laughs hystericly whenever someone says the word "come".

[TheThan]

In my theatre company, there is a guy who laughs hystericly whenever someone says the word "come".

I'll throw that one up to Immaturity.

[Closet_Skeleton]

This guy has a Boat piolit licence for anything up to 100 feet of boat. but he doesn't live near a decent body of water.

Hey, my brother has a licence for up to 100 feet of water and doesn't live near a decent body of water.

I'm still at school, but i get really annoyed when people appear to be doing classes, that I'm actually interested in, because they think they're easy and not real classes.

[bosssmiley]

We have one, but he's just a smug, self-absorbed w*nker. I think the most squick-worthy thing he ever said is:

Him: "I'd totally do our CFO." (vast amounts of speculative inappropriateness followed, in graphic detail)
Me: "Mate, she's got a daughter our age." :smalleek:
Him: "Yeah, that just makes it hotter."

The guy just seems to have no weirdness gauge fitted. :smallconfused:

[Charity]

The guy just seems to have no weirdness gauge fitted. :smallconfused:

So that's what that hole is for.

[Supagoof]

So we all know that guy at work. Maybe a slacker, maybe a brown noser, he's that guy, everyone knows one.

So let's keep names out of this, keep it down to actions and claims of actions, last thing we need is "yea this guy RandomNPC over at this place where i work..." but it's still fun to hear about it.

i've got a few, but heres the winner.

The bosses daughters boyfriend.
He claims he was using laptop computers to remotely run radio controled boats. in 1980.
he's a kung fu master. who only has beleiveable fight stories about him not winning.
he was partying with Keith Ledger in a bar, dropping acid in 1980. When he was twelve.
This guy has a Boat piolit licence for anything up to 100 feet of boat. but he doesn't live near a decent body of water.
He heard someone say the word "stitch" while talking about heavy machinery, and brought up how great a designer and tailor he is.
He's been doing the same job for almost a year and needs re-trained three times a week.

come on, you know these guys, everyone works with one. i work with a few but he takes the cake. what kind of people do you work with?

Kinda sounds like you're working with Napolean Dynamite. Ask him if he's ever seen a liger next time he goes off on a random "I'm so great" topic.

The worst I work with is a guy who talks about how "hardcore" he is into the "gangster" scene. Sure he is, when he lives in Hudson, WI. I mean, I'm not from "the hood" or anything, but I don't think that any town in Wisconsin has ever had a claim to real gang violence (like Compton or LA does.). I may be wrong, but then again certainly not any town on the outskirt of the suburbs of the Twin Cities. :smalltongue:

Wannabe pretender. Every once in awhile if his big head gets in the way I ask him what he thinks of the new 50 cent song or something along those lines. That usually shuts him up fairly quick. :smallamused:

[Tom_Violence]

I love being 'that guy'. Makes the temp jobs just fly by! :smallamused:


While at work, everyone, look around closely and carefully. If you can't immediately point out "that guy," chances are it's you.

Careful now. You just mind find out that its you, for being so damn smug about it.

[Darken Rahl]

While at work, everyone, look around closely and carefully. If you can't immediately point out "that guy," chances are it's you.

Seriously?

Ah, ****.

[KuReshtin]

I work in a technical help center supporting computers. I don't have 'that guy'.. I have 'those guys'.. As in several of them..

First guy has left the company by now, but even his reason for departure was disputed. Mainly by himself.
He said he had decided to leave to pursue a career in writing a book about something. No one really knows what the book was supposed to be about, though, cause when someone asked him, he wouldn't say anything about it.
He used to send e-mails to himself from his work e-mail to his home e-mail, having conversations with himself via e-mail.

He told tales of him being mentally ill, and any time he had a doctor's appointment, he cleaned out his desk as if he'd never come back, because he thought the doctor would tell him that he was dying.

After he'd been fired (cause that was the real reason he left), he still had four weeks to work because of the four week notice at the company. So the last week, he decided to send e-mails with all sorts of made up solutions that he sent to our service engineers as 'official fixes' from our level 2 lab.
On his second to last day at work, he then decided that it 'would be fun' to tell our customers that when they brought their broken computers in to the service point, they would be eligible for lottery tokens for a prize draw.
Of course, this wasn't very appreciated by the guys at the service point, so they contacted our manager and had the guy removed from his work station with immediate effect.

That's guy number 1.

Guy number two is the guy that gets aggravated every time the phone rings, and swears at the telephone when he hangs up because it interrupted him in his doing whatever it is he's doing when he doesn't get any calls.

His shift starts at 7 o'clock in the morning. So of course, when the first customer phones in at 7:05, that means that the world is conspiring to piss him off.
He also decided to learn a whole heap of swearwords in other languages (I've counted about 6 so far) so that he can throw abuse at his phone loudly and get customers from ther countries, speasking to other people, to hear of his irritation.

He's not too bad, though, once you kind of phase him out.. And get a desk as far away from him as possible.:)

[Thes Hunter]

Kinda sounds like you're working with Napolean Dynamite. Ask him if he's ever seen a liger next time he goes off on a random "I'm so great" topic.

The worst part about it, is this guy is like 39 years old. And suddenly I have the blink182 song going through my head; "Whats my age again?".




The worst I work with is a guy who talks about how "hardcore" he is into the "gangster" scene. Sure he is, when he lives in Hudson, WI. I mean, I'm not from "the hood" or anything, but I don't think that any town in Wisconsin has ever had a claim to real gang violence (like Compton or LA does.). I may be wrong, but then again certainly not any town on the outskirt of the suburbs of the Twin Cities. :smalltongue:

Wannabe pretender. Every once in awhile if his big head gets in the way I ask him what he thinks of the new 50 cent song or something along those lines. That usually shuts him up fairly quick. :smallamused:

I believe Milwaukee has some gang problems, even though it's no Detroit, or Camden. But yeah, Hudson WI? Yeah right. </sarcasm>

I keep being told that there are "bad parts" of where I currently live in WI. I am sure drugs and the murder rates are higher in those sections of town more so else where, But honestly there is a whole different feel between those 'bad parts of town' and the Over the Rhine area where I was living in Cincy, and some of the places I have gotten lost in, in D-Town.

[Kaelaroth]

I'm still at school... everyone's a that guy.... :smallfrown:

[valadil]

Our 'that guy' is the boss. He belittles us pretty regularly while knowing little to nothing about what we do. He likes jumping to conclusions and making up answers to technical problems. It's the sort of thing where I could fix a technical problem in 5 minutes if he'd shut up but instead I have to take 10 min to explain why he's wrong and then another 5 fixing things. And he has these opinions on *everything*. Seriously, he took a 2 week vacation last month and every day of it I got through a full days work in 30-45 minutes because I wasn't constantly being interrupted to deal with his inane ramblings.

[FireSpark]

Woo-boy! I must admit that I have run into countless of them throughout my years. (And maybe even on occasion, been one of those guys, depending on the environment.:smalltongue: ) Lessee, where to begin.

[all names have been changed to protect the terminally whacked.:smallamused: ]

There was Topper McLousy-Cheater, from my college days. This guy was the poster child for Nerd Clichés. He wore glasses, that though broke at the bridge, had been taped back together (or maybe that was just for effect, but who knows). He only had cheap polo shirts in plain colors, and wore his pants up to his friggen navel. Bad haircut, the whole nine yards. But anyways, what really made him annoying (asides from his Urkel-esque laugh:smallannoyed: ) was the fact that he had to have the final word to top any story that someone else told. If you said you had gone rafting in the Rockies, then he went white water rafting in the Amazon, with no life preserver. Eventually though, his stories became so self-contradictory, that we actually paid close attention so that we could throw old stories back at him and watch him try to dig himself out. Fun times. Then there was the fact that he was a massive cheater (at various games anyway), but he stunk at cheating. Best case available? I and some compatriots were starting up a Magic:TG league in our sleepy little college town, and upon receiving our sanctioning, we held a tournament to increase membership. Entry fee was two booster packs. (That way entry fee automatically took care of the prizes.) He shows up, and of course we visually inspect his entry offerings. The tops of which are both cleanly sliced and then poorly taped back together. Mr. McLousy-Cheater had gone through his two boosters, taken out the uncommons and any other cards he wanted, and then substituted old commons he didn't want. As if we wouldn't notice or something.

Next guy comes from my Air Force days. Let's call him Airman Mumbler. In fact, when he wasn't around, we usually did refer to him as 'the mumbler', because that's what he did. He would walk around and talk to himself. Out loud. And sometimes he would argue. With himself. On top of that, he would just walk up and start talking to you as if you had been in a conversation with him for the last hour, leaving you with absolutely no clue as to what he was talking about. Sometimes, he even did this thing where he would suddenly lock his eyes onto a TV in the room, and after a strange silence would rattle off a sentence of nonsense. Like "Blue stop signs don't fly like birds." :smallconfused:

Finally, in more recent years, there was Officer I-wish-I-were-a-Cop. Everyone's probably had someone like this guy. He regularly reminded everyone that he had been in the army, and that's why he felt he was destined to become a cop. (Turns out he was in the Finance Division. So I'm sure that HR would love to have his battle-hardened data entry skills.) He was always reading through the local laws and statutes books, and had bought an old, old, ooollllllld crown victoria, which was in the process of modding up with flashing indicators, driving lamps, a take-down light, and back dash flashers. (which of course, if he doesn't become a Peace Officer at least, some of his mods are illegal.) But the best thing of all, is the fact that he wanted to work overtime hours for times that he was currently at work. I bet none of you have ever had to explain to a subordinate, that he cannot, in fact, be in two places at once. Dork.:smallannoyed:



And this is but a taste of the bizarreness I've encountered in my travels.

[Solo]

Our 'that guy' is the boss. He belittles us pretty regularly while knowing little to nothing about what we do. He likes jumping to conclusions and making up answers to technical problems. It's the sort of thing where I could fix a technical problem in 5 minutes if he'd shut up but instead I have to take 10 min to explain why he's wrong and then another 5 fixing things. And he has these opinions on *everything*. Seriously, he took a 2 week vacation last month and every day of it I got through a full days work in 30-45 minutes because I wasn't constantly being interrupted to deal with his inane ramblings.

Start posting Dilbert comic strips on your cubical wall.

[PlatinumJester]

There is this wanker at college who we'll call "Arse Munch". Absolutey no body likes him and in Year 7 he started hanging out with me and my mates. He had a particuler dislike of me and was always trying to get me kicked out of the group. One time he actually said "who wants to kick Joe out of the group. Everybody raise your hands". No-body did :smallamused:.

Another annoying time was in drama when he went around kneeing people in the thigh for no reason. This pissed me and my mates off as well as many other people and people eventually did it to him.


Worse was in Year 11 every morning in registration he would always say stuff like "Joe, why don't you get you barnet looked at. It's all ginger and untidy" or "your hair is ****ing long and stupid. Why don't you get it cut" in an ******** kind of way. This gets annoying after a year.

Arse Munch is basically the kind of guy who is middle class but so deperatly wants to be upper class so he can "better" then everybody else. No surprise that the people who hangs out with don't like him either. Me and a mate are gonna trash he car on the last day of college.

[Rockphed]

I think I might be "That Guy," but I really can't tell.

If I am, how should I go about fixing things?

[Catch]

Careful now. You just mind find out that its you, for being so damn smug about it.

I'm with you on enjoying the role.

Except that I'm currently unemployed, so I get to be 'that guy' in my my family. And there's always one.

[Telonius]

Yeah, there's this one guy at my office who slacks off all the time, keeps posting to message boards instead of getting his work done. :smallwink:

[Darken Rahl]

>snip< and the Over the Rhine area where I was living in Cincy, and some of the places I have gotten lost in, in D-Town.

I never felt unsafe in OTR.

[Supagoof]

I never felt unsafe in OTR.
That's because your aura just kept the unwantables away from you is all. Makes sense to me. :smallamused:

[Darken Rahl]

Is that good or bad, it could go either way... :smallamused:

[Kaelaroth]

I think I might be "That Guy," but I really can't tell.

If I am, how should I go about fixing things?

Just take a minute and think over these things:

- Am I in any way like the rest of the general populace of my work/learning place?

- If not, do I want to be like them?

- If you do want to be like them, don't try and become them or attemp to infiltrate their friendships. That just gets on people's nerves. Just try and grow into them... Adopt a few of their mannerisms. Maybe twitch your dress sense into a more popular style? Get a BF/GF?

- Am I getting on everyone's nerves? If not, then don't feel an urgent need to modify yourself to fit in.

- Above all; remember that you are your own person, and other people shouldn't comman your life for you.

I hope that was helpful.

[Kaelaroth]

There is this wanker at college who we'll call "Arse Munch". Absolutey no body likes him and in Year 7 he started hanging out with me and my mates. He had a particuler dislike of me and was always trying to get me kicked out of the group. One time he actually said "who wants to kick Joe out of the group. Everybody raise your hands". No-body did :smallamused:.

Another annoying time was in drama when he went around kneeing people in the thigh for no reason. This pissed me and my mates off as well as many other people and people eventually did it to him.


Worse was in Year 11 every morning in registration he would always say stuff like "Joe, why don't you get you barnet looked at. It's all ginger and untidy" or "your hair is ****ing long and stupid. Why don't you get it cut" in an ******** kind of way. This gets annoying after a year.

Arse Munch is basically the kind of guy who is middle class but so deperatly wants to be upper class so he can "better" then everybody else. No surprise that the people who hangs out with don't like him either. Me and a mate are gonna trash he car on the last day of college.


I feel great pity for you. There's a lot of this floating round at my school. Why don't you (and your friends) just tell him to go play in the traffic and never bother you again?
If that doesn't work, though harsh, blanking people works wonders - as does spreading rumours about them and beating them up if the continue to ruin your life. However, those are only for extreme case mind! :smallamused:

[Miklus]

Oh yeah, that guy! Let's call him "S". He waddles into our office and starts talking to someone, then another. After a while he waddles out, without having discussed anything importaint, thus making it painfully obvious that he was just passing by because he had nothing better to do!

Then "S" E-mails fat-lady porn to everyone. :smallannoyed:

[RandomNPC]

I know a guy at work who believes that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) are in league with the Masons in a conspiracy to murder him. And he brings it up every friggin' time I see him.

_snipitty_

Maybe that's not the type of "guy at work" you were looking for, but that is certainly my best example of an oddball co-worker.

i knew a guy in highschool like that. thats exactly what i mean.

ok, time for my second guy.

The bosses friend.

this guy tells everyone "in secret" one at a time that he gets paid a dollar over wage for his job to rat on people to the boss, but gets all surprised and offended when nobody tells him anything, or when he talks pay and someone says something about how he makes extra.

with four guys including him on his job scale we get a new machine in and he's trained to be the only guy to run it. when the floor supervisor tries to get the rest of the crew trained the boss steps in to save his spot on the machine.
this wouldn't be a problem if the trainer that came in was ready to train him in an hour easily and go on to his next job, but had to spend two days training him in basic math skills before he could program the machine. he still needs an hour to set four numbers.

raging alcoholic, to the point of being drunk before work starts (6AM)

if you get in a disagreement with him (i did it once) his girlfriend in shipping messes up all your work before it ships, then either cathes "your" mistake, running straight into the office with it, or ships it with your part of the job messed up.

he changes adjustments on machines, but doesn't finish setting up, so if you don't re-do everything your settings may just result in shattering a drill bit or the machine not finishing a cycle, that kinda thing.

despite his girlfriend in shipping he flirts with a girl less than half his age on the work floor, and another in the office.

[Telonius]

Oh yeah, that guy! Let's call him "S". He waddles into our office and starts talking to someone, then another. After a while he waddles out, without having discussed anything importaint, thus making it painfully obvious that he was just passing by because he had nothing better to do!

Then "S" E-mails fat-lady porn to everyone. :smallannoyed:

Yikes. In the US, "S" would be a harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.

[Argent]

Oh yeah, that guy! Let's call him "S". He waddles into our office and starts talking to someone, then another. After a while he waddles out, without having discussed anything importaint, thus making it painfully obvious that he was just passing by because he had nothing better to do!

Then "S" E-mails fat-lady porn to everyone. :smallannoyed:

I used to work with S's evil twin, I think. The guy would hang out in your office and start a conversation with you, and he wouldn't leave for at least fifteen minutes. If he ran out of stuff to talk about, he'd just sit there and look at you. I tested him once (by not saying anything to him) and he stood there for a good minute, staring at me, before he finally walked away. WEIRD.

Oh, yeah, and he didn't email nasty pictures to anyone, but he'd check out any female he came across, in the most obvious, look-you-up-and-down-from-head-to-toe fashion I've ever seen - it took him about ten seconds to do so, and it couldn't have been more blatant. One of the ladies I worked with almost cleaned his clock for him after she saw him do this.

Amazes me that people like that still keep a job.

[FoE]

I briefly worked with a guy named Derek who used to come in at 10 a.m. every day (the office opens at 8:30 a.m.) so he could have breakfast with his mom. Granted, we had flexible work hours at that job (we needed to be flexible in case there was any work to do in the evening) and I was known to show up an hour late myself now and then, but every friggin' day?

He wasn't too well-liked. He had kind of a nasal way of talking — he would say "Yeah" in the back of his throat and really draw it out — but he didn't know how to converse with people. The only topic he was really interested in was movies. God, did he know movies, especially from the 60s and 70s. He was a hardcore film nerd. Any conversation about cinema would inevitably involve discussions of obscure titles that I had never even heard of, and I'm fairly knowledgeable about movies. Meeting him convinced me that being a "film buff" was not a goal I necessarily wanted to reach.

[Logic]

For the longest time, I was the wierdest guy at work, barring the ones that were Section 8. Then all of a sudden we get 3 new guys to our shop, all of which are weirder (like talking about vomiting kitty litter as acceptable dinner conversation weird.)

But as for "that guy at work" we have 3 mega-complainers, 2 one-uppers, and 1 lost puppy/shadow.

[Thes Hunter]

I briefly worked with a guy named Derek who used to come in at 10 a.m. every day (the office opens at 8:30 a.m.) so he could have breakfast with his mom.

He probably needs to have breakfast with his mom because he can't make it for himself. :smallwink: :smallbiggrin:

[Supagoof]

despite his girlfriend in shipping he flirts with a girl less than half his age on the work floor, and another in the office.

Sounds like you have the ability to do some damage to that relationship - which I would say is warranted given that relationship has done damage to you. So acquire some evidence, and leave said evidence for his girlfriend to discover. :smallamused:

And yes, that S's guy's e-mail is a lawsuit to happen. Or at the very least grounds for termination if it was ever brought to a human resource departement. :smallwink:

Don't let the wave of idiots overwhelm you at your job. Fight back. Give to them nothing, but take from them everything. That is the Spartan way!...or so I've heard.:smallbiggrin:

[Solo]

... when I start work, I'll probably have to deal with "that guy", won' t I?

Is there anything I can do? Holy water, silver bullets... anything?

[Supagoof]

Dilbert's Theorem (http://www.heinerfischle.de/meinung/dilbert.htm) pretty much explains it all.

[Telonius]

... when I start work, I'll probably have to deal with "that guy", won' t I?

Is there anything I can do? Holy water, silver bullets... anything?

Sole proprietorship. Be the boss, and you can fire him. Other than that, you're SOL.

[Jack Squat]

I've got a guy at my work (a grocery store) who basically complains about doing work, avoids doing work whenever possible, and talks way too much.

Seriously...he kept a customer waiting 5 minutes because he was talking about peanut butter. I've also got to clean the bathrooms after him every time he's sent, and call him to his register whenever there's a rush...where it'll take him the entire rush to get back to it.

He's close to being fired, but amazingly hasn't been yet.

[Mr. Moon]

For me, it's a girl who clings to my group. Let's call her Yellow. Yellow wants to be our freind. She follows us around, and hangs out with us.

She's largely obbsesive over people. Last year, she followed Silver everywhere he went, even magicly discovering his phone-number and apearing uninvited at his house. This year, she's moved on to Hunter, since it "feels to much like I'm dating" Silver. Yeah, I wonder why?

Yellow loves walking behind you for five minutes, then complaining - loudly - about being ignored, when most of the time we didn't hear her or said hello, but where in the middle of a discusion and she hadn't heard us say hi back. Explaining this to her only makes her get even more annoyed.

She laughs at things that aren't funny in the slightest. Hard. Like it's the funniest thing she's heard in all her life. For example, once when we were playing the "In my Pants" game, she said "Hello people in my pants" and thought this was the funniest thing since Everybody Loves Raymond. I'm not kidding. She was on the floor, laughing her brains out.

When we play video games, she always brags - or shall we say, shouts - about how she rocks at that game, and would totaly pwn anyone, even though she normaly dies first. Actualy, that applies from almost everything she does, from a poorly-drawn picture which is totaly better then Shader's amazing work, to a crappy flash of a bunny getting killed and coming back to life. And if we ever decide to do something she doesn't enjoy, she throws a tauntrum at us. Once I brought my play station to the game night, and she took one look at it and said "I'm not playing the demon station. If you do, I'll leave." Loudly. Repetitvly. As if I hadn't heard her scream it in my ear the first twelve times. I told her if she didn't want to play, that was fine with me. There was no real obligation to play. She didn't leave, actualy. She sat behind me, laughing loudly whenever we did something wrong or went the wrong way.

The annoying thing is, we can't ask her to leave. She'd rat us out to the administration if we did (for example, I have yaoi in my locker, which the vice-principals probably won't smile on), or keep following us around anyway.

[Indon]

Sole proprietorship. Be the boss, and you can fire him. Other than that, you're SOL.

Have a job that requires a security clearance of some kind. That requires:

-No felonies
-Not institutionalized or institutionalizable
-No vast debts, so financially responsible

Methinks most of the horror stories in this thread would be filtered out by that... and I certainly don't work with any (even though my job doesn't _really_ require a security clearance).

Though, there is this one guy. Does his work pretty fast, but does it mostly so he can spend the rest of the day surfing forums... oh, wait.

[Raiser Blade]

(for example, I have yaoi in my locker, which the vice-principals probably won't smile on)

O_O

Kinky.
:smallwink:

[Hell Puppi]

THAT GUY at our work is a guy named Tom. Tom is annoying. I mean REALLY annoying. When he calls anyone over the loudspeaker, he puts the phone right to his mouth and yells into it. I couldn't tell you how irritating this is unless you've heard it in person.
He works the register. Very slowly. And calls a manager over every hour or so. Does he give the manager enough time to walk over there? Heck no. He calls over the loudspeaker every 30 seconds until they get there.
And lord help you if you actually go to buy something from him. Any transaction takes about 30 times longer than it should, because he wants to talk to you. About the piranha he wants to get (we work at a pet store) and have little kids stick their hands in the tank. Or about how he shot his friend in the face with an airsoft handgun. Or about how he wants to hang out sometime (eeeugghhh...). Because I was actually nice to him I have the pleasure him him coming over and smashing his face against the glass (I work in grooming, we have our own glass box), or him following me around talking.
:smallannoyed:

[Kaelaroth]

The annoying thing is, we can't ask her to leave. She'd rat us out to the administration if we did (for example, I have yaoi in my locker, which the vice-principals probably won't smile on), or keep following us around anyway.

Then hide incriminating evidence and make the bitch go to hell. It sounds like she deserves it. Do the rest of your friends feel the same way though?

[Solo]

The annoying thing is, we can't ask her to leave. She'd rat us out to the administration if we did (for example, I have yaoi in my locker, which the vice-principals probably won't smile on), or keep following us around anyway.

Tell her about your yaoi and porn collection you keep in your locker, take all incriminating evidence home, then ask her to leave.

When she rats on you, and they administration finds nothing, it will look rather bad for her.

Moreso if you insinuate she was making things up.

[Mr. Moon]

Do the rest of your friends feel the same way though?

I'm not really sure. I can feel a general aura of "Would you shut the hell up!" but we don't really ever voice it, and the chances to talk about it are rare and often inturupted. Not to mention risky.

I'd also really hate it if it suddenly went like this:


PlatinumJesterHe had a particuler dislike of me and was always trying to get me kicked out of the group. One time he actually said "who wants to kick Joe out of the group. Everybody raise your hands". No-body did :smallamused: .

[Solo]

If someone tried to vote me out of the group, my retort would be: "And how many people want him out of the group?"

[Mr. Moon]

Sorry, I wasn't being very clear. I'd hate it if I slipped up and did something like that, only to discovery I was the only one who wanted Yellow out.

[Kaelaroth]

Sorry, I wasn't being very clear. I'd hate it if I slipped up and did something like that, only to discovery I was the only one who wanted Yellow out.

Ooooh... Good point. That'd be horrible for you.

Go with Solo's suggestion. Ha-Hah! I can see it now! (though as I don't know what you look like I have replaced you all with Winnie the Pooh the characters. And the yaoi with shonen-ai, but meh) Good Luck!

[Rogue 7]

Mine was actually a female as well. I honestly forget her name, but I forget everyone's name at the place I worked (barring a few friends, and the boss's daughter who'd show up sometimes- known her since I was about 3, and damn, she's hot.) This girl, who had a desk across from me for most of the summer, apparently was really bad at her job. I don't know the specifics, but some of the old hands were always correcting her on the proper way to do this, that, and the other. Wasn't good-looking at all, and I can't remember ever speaking to her. Never saw her at lunch or anything. Funniest moment was when she was on lunch and I sat as a few of the other women who worked there complained to no end about the 15+ copies of some stupidly long, obscure poem she'd printed off the work printer, because apparently she didn't realize that the job took time to print and just kept clicking the print button...

[Vella_Malachite]

I'm still at school... everyone's a that guy.... :smallfrown:

Oh, don't get me started...try going to a girl's school sometime...
Well, if you're a guy, don't, but you know what I mean:smallwink:

When asked the question "Do you have a boyfriend", the immediate answer is always either "no" or "all the guys I know are jerks", because anything else is immediately followed by swamping and 24/7 dumb questions like "Is he hot?" and "Does he have good pecs/biceps?", or my all-time *cough* favourite *cough* "Do you have a picture?"

Plus all the rules you're supposed to know and follow that no-one tells you about because you're supposed to know them and people look at you funny if you ask...:smallfrown:

I have social issues.:smallwink:

[RandomNPC]

So my third entry. wow, i think we need that security clearance thing at my workplace.

The bosses crushes gas money.
so the one girl in our department, girl, not woman. (read mother at 16 and needed a job) drives our resident slacker in to work, and it being an hour and a half drive he pays for gas half the month and she does the other. it's the only reason they make enough to keep working there.

This guy who gets a ride in to work is another drunk (not the first one i complained about)

he would walk around the building for an hour every morning, because workers get there an hour before the boss. people complained so the boss shows up when we do.

he drives around on the lift trucks, taking corners at full speed without the horn. Then he yells at you for being in the way, at your work station, doing your job.

he uses a hunting knife for everything he needs to cut and complains when workers compensation doesn't pay to reattatch his fingertip he sliced off just moments after being told to use a smaller, work approved blade.

he "trains" people to do jobs he hasn't had the training to do, let alone actually watching it. while these people he's training do these jobs daily.

He's prone to call you something annoying, like Mr. *your first and last name* every time he talks to you. not just when he walks up, but every time he opens his mouth.

worst part: he's half the gas money for the bosses crush, so if there is any excuse whatsoever he isn't geting fired.

[Cyrano]

I suppose I have a "that guy at school".
Allow me to describe to you, Socially Challenged Boy! A true master of the uncomfortable.
First of all, my group consists of, among other people, myself, one guy of Middle Eastern descent, and three from India. Other people come and go, but there can almost always be found four darker-skinned people. So, of course, when SCB comes in, the bangs the door as hard as possible against it's hinges, walks through, and shouts "HELLO INDIANS" with a fake indian accent. That he will use for the rest of the encounter. And then he laughs. A loud, fake, clowny sorta laugh. He'll then plop himself down, amongst our cries of "No!", "Not him!", and "Damn! 22! Bust!" (We play cards.) What he does changes. Sometimes he'll take a bag, toss it down the stairs, and laugh wildly. Sometimes he'll sit next to you, apply thrust until you're mashed against the wall, and then begin whispering vaguely homo-erotic euphemisms until you apply physical force. Sometimes he'll stand somewhere and begin a ragdoll dance, so named for it's strict adherence to physical laws, it's resemblence to a Half-Life 2 death effect, and it's lack of talent. Whilst laughing.
You grow to hate this laugh.
Whatever he does, he doesn't stop. And he does it loudly. Very loudly.
I have some form of immunity. I think I frighten him. Mainly because I'm 14, more than 6 feet, and some 200 pounds. The worst thing? In class, he's...normal. He can even be quite funny. This is the worst example of a man, a man who has the social graces, and chooses not to use them for his own personal amusement at the expense of other's emotional wellbeing. I call him an Emotional Sadist, or Emosad for short.

[Drider]

While at work, everyone, look around closely and carefully. If you can't immediately point out "that guy," chances are it's you.

I'm the only person at my job...being self employed makes you...that guy?
Aw, ****:smallfrown:

[Quirinus_Obsidian]

Hmm. We have that guy that craves attention. He is worse than the Lost Puppy because he will make it known that he wants attention. Like 'Im so alone' and 'no one wants to talk to me'.

At the beginning I felt bad for that guy, but since then it has just gotten irritating.

He has to 'C' his way into every A-B conversation; he has to sit with a group of people at a table where there is obviously no where to sit at said table, so everyone else has to move down and make room for that guy. This person is also very, I mean, VERY loud on the phones. We work in a technical support call center (I refuse to use the words Help Desk... I abhor the term 'help desk' with a fiery and unquenchable hatred). I have had customers making comments about how loud 'that guy' is. He sits quite near me, naturally in the middle of the floor.

They can't fire him because he is quite good at his job; he is just... irritating.

[The Orange Zergling]

For some reason, I seem to be like flypaper to male, socially inept, usually very clingy people who are inevitably younger than I am. So I've been 'friends' with people who are afraid of touching the sticky side of masking tape, people who beg and beg and beg and beg (etc) to play something stupid like battleship with me, only to find out they try to get people to cheat for them, people who thought that males were physically incapable of growing hair longer than shoulder length, and people who just wouldn't leave me alone. It's annoying. And I never can muster the strength to tell them to eff off. :smallfurious:

Also a few people who I'd love to mention but can't because it violates forum rules. And don't even get me started on forums... (Thankfully, there's only been a couple of these people, and none of them are here.)

EDIT: I meet these people all over the place, school, summer camp, friends-of-friends (usually of friends), etc.

[Vella_Malachite]

Yes, the horrors of the unwanted person.

There's this one girl who is in my Home Ec class. None of my other friends are in this class, so she insists on sitting next to me. She will talk and talk and talk. She has a horrible, nasal, whiny voice. You can totally ignore her while she talks at you, and she will tell you you're a good listener! Unfortunately, she has somehow convinced herself that I am a very good friend of hers.:smallmad:

I sit there in Home Ec, listening to her talk about absolutely nothing that could possibly be relevant in any form whatsoever to anything else for half an hour, then she'll ask me a really, really dumb question like "Wait...doesn't beef come from a pig?" (quoted verbatim). I then reply with a suitably sarcastic response. She tells me I'm mean in her whiny voice and turns around, then two seconds later is asking me how to spell "breakfast".

She also brags about how much everyone loves her cooking and how she's so good at it, then is completely at a loss once we actually start cooking anything. For example, the recipe says "Cut carrots into thin strips", she needs to be shown how. "When is the cake going to be done?" "Are the onions done yet?" AAARRRGH!!!:smallfurious:

And she constantly complains that the world doesn't understand her and whatever it is that happened, from her putting the chicken in the oven too late or the oven not being preheated, or the cake sinking the tiniest bit in the middle, it is immediately a) a complete failure and b) not her fault.

She annoys me.

Thanks, all. I needed that. Sorry for the long-windedness.

[Last_resort_33]

Hmmm I think that at work we seem to take turns at being "That Guy", there are only four of us so it's not impossible.. then again, it could be me.

VM, I can't even fathom the horror that it must be to go to a single sex school.... Guys are vile and girls are just damned bitchy (a generalisation you understand).

At uni we had "That Guy" He didn't understand any of the work and tried to get us to do it for him, but he would follow you and ask personal questions, but the worst was his face. This guy lived in [City about 100 miles north of the uni] and he would take the train in... but this meant that he would spend the nights doing "work" in the 24 hour labs and the 24 hour library, fueled by caffine, going home for two days once a week to sleep. This would seem admirable if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't DO any work and he still didn't understand the subject. His eyelids swollen bags of red and purple flesh and his skin was BAD, REALLY BAD, it looked like he had leprosy, this combined with the fact that of course he couldn't have a shower on his week long "work" stints and his lack of recognition of personal space made him a sight to endure.

[Machete]

Its me.

I'm the guy that the really observant people are weary of.

"What are you doing with 1,000 feet of 50lb. test gorilla wire." they ask
"Did someone punch you in the face?"
"Are you drunk?"
"What's with the black trenchcoat?"

Oy, gimme a break.

I know a lot of people who dress up in camo frequently. Its not just me.

[Kaelaroth]

VM, I can't even fathom the horror that it must be to go to a single sex school.... Guys are vile and girls are just damned bitchy (a generalisation you understand).



Yeah. My school is terrible. We are a single-sex school (teenage guys! :smallyuk: ) which is slowly dragging itself in to co-education.

[Fri]

I'm really afraid that I am slowly turning into that guy. I hope that's just my imagination...

I haven't done things that you guys mentioned here though.